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I promise that website isn't porn, but if it was that'd be cool too. Our guest Michael joins us to explore just why Archie brings a gun to school, and if it's really fair to punch a dude in the face if you're in a street brawl.

My salad days, / When I was green in judgment, cold in blood/To say as I said then!/ For hark, a podcast, drenched in smut and crime!/ Tales of Loss and Love we seek to find/ Okay I'm done writing in iambic pentameter, this is a fun one. Enjoy loves!

Joined by our special guest @AdventureAnalisa, we dive into the least appropriately named episode of Riverdale yet. I mean, what even IS a Nighthawk?? I still don't know! Anyway, listen to us ramble about it for an hour and a half ya filthy animals (JK we love you, mwah

Season 2 is here! This season of Riverdale is somehow already outdoing the insanity of the first, and something tells me it's only going to get more schlock-y. In this episode we learn the fate of Fred Andrews after the tragic shooting at Pop's diner, and learn that Archie would wear a kilt at his wedding. Glad to be back folx.

13 episodes. 13 disciples. In this episode, Brian and I are betrayed, flayed, and dismayed at the literal last thing to happen in Riverdale Season 1. Joined by @almondarcade on Twitter dot com, we recap and discuss our final moments of joy before the season ends.

Wow. I didn't expect things to happen so quickly. Yet here we are, surrounded by the dust of what came before, and by that I mean almost an entire season of Riverdale. Tune in next week for the exciting conclusion, AND our Logo artist as the guest!!!

Episode 11. 1 hour and 11 minutes. Coincidence? Entirely. This episode has the first good song that Archie plays!! Also Jughead has his hopes and dreams dashed. Normal stuff, really

Sooooo I maybe sorta lost the recording of the first time we did this episode... But it's okay! We re-recorded it with a very special guest and are now giving you 2 hours of content for your listening pleasure. Enjoy our recap of the episode that started this very podcast!

Watching this was blue, like I've never knownAll the scenes were dark grey, all aloneRecapping it was like trying to know something that I hadn't metBut Archie's suit was Red (Re-e-e-ed, Re-e-e-ed)This was a Taylor Swift joke for Brian and Brian alone. Anyway, enjoy the episode!

Jughead's dad is a what now??? On this episode, Jughead's family secrets are aired for the world to see, and we finally get a good look at the kind of dad who would go by "FP" to his own son.

Emphasis on the "heart," this one's got a few decently sad scenes. It also has some of the worst alcoholic set design and acting I've ever seen, so it's a bit of a wash.

This week, we finally see Archie perform an entire song. and although our standards could not be lower, we are somehow disappointed