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Episode 194: Hitler gets his driver’s license. Phlegm. Hitmen. And Tim eats moldy food. Then: party in sad bars. Make Your Kids Suffer at Your Job day. Humidity. Shoddy builders. Strange thoughts from Tim. And painfully soft toilet paper. Plus, a few more things. Drop us an email. We'd looove to hear from you!

FIRST: Jim does some wacky visual jokes on an audio-only podcast. The guys congratulate Dave on yet another “D-Day” or “Dave Day” mulling over various famous Dave’s and the need to start a concert in support of Dave’s: Dave-aid. Then they try and write new mottos and adages.   THEN: Dave, Tim, Jim, and Walt reveal the news that Ringling Brothers Circus, after removing their animal acts due to cruelty complaints, made their clowns go makeup-less! What kind of world would it be without clowns?! Plus there’s Pagliacci and an old Rice Krispies commercial. Drop us an email. We'd looove to hear from you!

FIRST: Jim tells Tim, Dave, and Walt that the famous Chicago Rat Hole (an indentation of a rodent pushed into sidewalk cement) had been filled in!! Tim opens our eyes to the oppression squirrels go through. Walt tells the guys about his neighbor’s pet wild squirrel. And, apparently, Jim had a pet squirrel, too! THEN: Dave, Tim, Jim, and Walt totally improvise their memories of that time they may or may not have had a giant duck head float in Chicago’s 4th of July parade (which isn’t a thing). And Dave walked the parade route on stilts. Or maybe he didn’t. The memories are fuzzy. It could’ve happened. Maybe. Maybe not. They may not have remembered it correctly. Drop us an email. We'd looove to hear from you!

FIRST: Dave, Jim, Tim, and Walt explain how the group got its name: “Duck Logic” and Dave talks about the evolution of the duck of their logo. Then Jim abruptly changes the subject to the manly bag he bought online that turned out to be a woman’s purse! And somehow the conversation turns to goiters versus boils.  THEN:  The guys wonder when a buddy becomes a pal and what you have to do to go from a pal to a cohort, chum, ally, or henchman. Then there are sidekicks. And how way too many superheroes were orphans. Drop us an email. We'd looove to hear from you!

FIRST: Did you know that bears plug up their butts to prepare for hibernation? Walt explains it all to Dave, Tim, and Jim. They go on to “explore” all sorts of bear, butt, and plug possibilities! THEN:  The guys discuss getting a mentalist on the pod. They ask: if you can get debunked, can you get re-bunked? Then the guys get funky. Parliament Funkadelic. The Funky Winkerbean comic strip. The funky bunch. Drop us an email. We'd looove to hear from you!

FIRST: Jim gets spammed with politically incorrect jokes. Naked old men at the gym. Prison myths. And we find out Jim used to call his penis Captain B.B.  THEN:  In honor of St. Paddy's Day, Tim, Jim, and Walt discuss the old classic Irish movie "The Quiet Man." And Tim professes his love for Ireland, not that he's ever been there, because of how it probably smells (like stale beer). Drop us an email. We'd looove to hear from you!

FIRST: Dave, Tim, Jim, and Walt discuss evil lairs, and ones for the good guys. Goldfinger. Dr. No. The Kingsmen had cool, undergrown headquarters. But who designs them? What would the Indeed listing look like to get a job in one? And what kind of amenities should they have—a Keurig, drink fridges, a Sbarro and, of course, popcorn! THEN:  The guys continue their evil talk, exploring the many different nuances of becoming and staying evil. They decide to become evil entrepreneurs by launching an evil gofundme page. Drop us an email. We'd looove to hear from you!

FIRST: Dave, Tim, Jim, and Walt totally improvise their memories of that time they may or may not have played gigs in Ft. Lauderdale during spring break. It’s hazy. It might have happened. Or not. They may’ve remembered it wrong. THEN:  The guys wonder why they keep making Godzilla movies, then decide it’s because 'Zilla is a consummate thespian and ponder how many other films he would’ve been perfect for. King Lear. When Godzilla Met Sally. The list goes on and on. Drop us an email. We'd looove to hear from you!

TALK: It’s Ash Wednesday and Jim tells us about a priest giving out ashes at the train station. Tim has a real issue with the make-a-heart hand gesture. Obscene gestures around the world. Tim’s Narnia adventures. Keeping your clothes in a hole. Class clowns and their comedy writers. SKETCHES: A redacted love story. Fun facts about Wyoming. A mean men’s store. The Drunken Bible. A bad driving school. And more! Drop us an email. We'd looove to hear from you!

Take a break with Duck Logic TALK: Walter looks at his permanent record. Duck Logic’s comedy classes. Jim’s uncle Bud’s weird death. One Piece. Job fairs. And Walter’s neighbor is in the CIA.  SKETCHES: Bars for Lent. Laundered money. A philosophical hockey player. A really short opera. What else would Jesus do and more! Drop us an email. We'd looove to hear from you!

Take a break with Duck Logic and: TALK: Duck Logic in the Epstein files? A man who gets off when he has his diaper changed. Do you look at your poop? Tim challenges The Seahawks to Hungry Hungry Hippos. Gambling on anything. Someone stole Jim’s poop joke. And sloths. SKETCHES: A last-minute Valentine gift that smells like one. Dairy humor from stand-up Sal Monella. Re-buying your childhood toys, sort of. ChatGPT comedy. Luge training. And more! Drop us an email. We'd looove to hear from you!

Take a break with Duck Logic and: TALK: High school sex ed. The guys learn about the birds and bees. Jim’s emotional health class scars. Tim dares women’s softball players. Professional hockey moms. And Tim loves for the biathlon. SKETCHES: Valentine’s Day hot spots. A new and improved gadget that does something or other. A guy that REALLY loves opera. Interviews with Winter Olympic maybes. And a few more things. Drop us an email. We'd looove to hear from you!

Take a little break from it all with Duck Logic and: TALK: Drunken Walt hides from the cops. Jim tells phone solicitors he’s dead. Tim looks for a plumber. Oh, the people you’ll meet on Nextdoor. And Tim’s a stunt driver.  SKETCHES: Valentine’s Day sales at a hardware store. An expo for shut-ins. A tollbooth attendant tells funny stories. And a song about peas. Plus, more! Drop us an email. We'd looove to hear from you!

TALK: Autistic Barbie. How does a 3-legged dog pee? How many bears can get stuck in a crawl space. Racist comic strips of old. Jim’s less-than-believable Australian accent. SKETCHES: A new and improved useless gadget. Winter fun at Splatterland amusement park. The guy who wrote “Close Cover Before Striking.” Cowboys do commercials. And more. Drop us an email. We'd looove to hear from you!

TALK: Is God a loud talker? The guys try “Gadzooks!” as their new catch phrase. The guy who made Johnny Carson quit. How we know the Insult Comedy Dog. Jim’s grandpa’s funny way of saying hello.  SKETCHES: Insect love. More useless Duck Logic merch. Butt fashion. No crying in baseball. Community over-awareness. Plus, more. Drop us an email. We'd looove to hear from you!