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What happens when a survivor's fight for safety is labeled a crime? In this powerful and essential episode, Dr. Kate Balestrieri sits down with investigative journalist Justine van der Leun to explore the harrowing reality of "criminalized survival." Justine spent years inside prisons, listening to women who killed, maimed, or broke the law, not because they were monsters, but because they were survivors who ran out of options. Her book, Unreasonable Women, tells the unforgettable stories of these women, revealing how the legal system often erases their histories of abuse and paints them as cold-blooded perpetrators instead of victims of intimate partner violence. In this conversation, Justine and Dr. Kate discuss the thin, blurry line between victim and perpetrator, the sexist and racist tropes used to prosecute women, and the profound lack of support that sets survivors up for failure. This isn't just their story; it's a stark examination of who society allows to be violent and who is expected to endure it. Tune in for a moving conversation that will change the way you see justice, survival, and the women the system has deemed "unreasonable." Key Topics Discussed: What is "Criminalized Survival"?  The Case of Nikki Addamando The "Reasonable Man" Standard The Three Prongs of Victim Blaming The Role of Sexism and Racism The High Cost of Violence A Call for Change Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s video contains a guest appearance from Laura Danger, both an educator as well as an advocate for domestic equity. In today’s video, Dr. Kate Balestrieri and Laura Danger explore relationship inequity, emotional and domestic labor, and how mismatched definitions of “trying” create friction, resentment, and loss of desire. They cover various themes surrounding relationships such as:  how to distinguish capacity vs willingness,  how defensiveness and punishment can function to silence needs, and how mental health can affect contribution while still requiring collaborative problem-solving and support.  They collaborate on what it means to have a partner that weaponizes incompetence and how unresolved could corrupt the foundation of relationships. 00:49 Podcast Return and New Book 01:36 Meet Laura Danger 02:39 Why Equity Becomes Conflict 04:59 Listener Question Bare Minimum Partner 05:58 Good Faith Effort vs Incompetence 08:22 Cant vs Wont and Defensiveness 12:42 Mental Health and Capacity in Couples 16:53 Boundaries and Resentment Spiral 21:53 The NAG Paradox Explained 22:25 Honey Do Trap 23:21 Power Imbalance Loop 24:53 New Parent Resentment 27:42 Repair With Check Ins 29:17 Fair Play Framework 30:35 Regulating Conflict Cycles 35:27 Anger As Information 42:54 Somatic Anger Cues 44:37 Closing And Resources About Laura Danger: Laura Danger, is an educator, author, facilitator, and advocate for domestic equity and equal distribution of the mental load. She is a prominent voice, who popularized topics regarding care culture and fostering equitable dynamics within a relationship. Instagram & TikTok: @thatdarnchat Website: www.lauradanger.com Book: No More Mediocre https://www.amazon.com/dp/0593474783/?bestFormat=true&k=no%20more%20mediocre&ref_=nb_sb_ss_w_scx-ent-bk-ww_k0_1_16_de&crid=35U7ZEMYGXUV9&sprefix=no%20more%20mediocre Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When a child discloses sexual abuse, the immediate focus is understandably on the survivor's healing. But what happens to the parents in the aftermath - specifically, to their romantic and sexual relationship? In this episode, Dr. Kate Balestrieri speaks with Dr. Imani Reynolds, a clinician at Modern Intimacy, whose pioneering research explores the hidden third relationship often overlooked in the healing process: the one between the parents. Dr. Reynolds’ work reveals the profound and often invisible impact that a child's abuse can have on a parent’s own sexuality, desire, and intimacy with their partner. They discuss the jarring experience of secondary traumatic stress, how intrusive thoughts can alter sexual fantasy and desire, and how partners often react and cope in vastly different ways, creating a new set of challenges for the relationship. This conversation offers a vital and compassionate look at how the entire family system is affected and provides a crucial perspective on the importance of parents addressing their own well-being. Key Themes Include: The Overlooked Impact on Parents Desire vs. Intimacy The Role of Secondary Trauma When a Fantasy Isn't a Fantasy Anymore: The Unseen Divide The Breakdown of Trust A Call to Care for the Whole System For more support, schedule a complimentary consultation, to explore how working with a clinician at Modern Intimacy might help. If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, rate, and leave a review. Share it with a friend or partner who might need to hear this vital perspective. We want to hear from you! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We often think of intimacy as the meeting of minds and bodies, but what happens when your emotions—frustration, anxiety, or shame—hijack the moment? In this episode, Dr. Kate Balestrieri sits down with psychologist and author Dr. Ryan Martin to explore the critical link between emotional regulation and relational health. Dr. Martin, author of the new book Emotion Hacks: 50 Ways to Feel Better Fast, debunks the "Catharsis Myth" and explains why vigorous exercise when you're angry might actually be making things worse. Together, they unpack the neuroscience of anger, the importance of feeling uncomfortable emotions (not numbing them), and how to use your feelings as a source of vital information. If you’ve ever struggled to pause before reacting, felt overwhelmed by big feelings, or wondered how your emotional patterns affect your sex life and relationships, this episode is for you. Learn how to build your "emotional toolkit" and develop the skills to not just survive your feelings, but to use them for deeper connection. For more information about Dr. Ryan Martin: https://alltheragescience.com/ YT, TT + IG:  @AngerProfessor  Emotion Hacks: https://www.amazon.com/Emotion-Hacks-Ways-Feel-Better/dp/1786788675 ____________________________________ 📞 SCHEDULE A FREE 30-MIN CONSULTATION: https://www.modernintimacy.com/contact/ ____________________________________ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Think deepfakes are just a privacy issue? Think again. We are conditioned to see sexual deepfakes as a crime against an individual’s reputation. But what if they are actually a weapon of mass control?  In this episode, Dr. Kate Balestrieri sits down with author Soraya Chemaly to blow the lid off the mainstream narrative. They argue that these digital violations aren't just about consent.  But in fact, they are stochastic terrorism: a systematic, male-supremacist tool designed to police women’s behavior through sheer terror.  They dive into the ugly underbelly of the "boy crisis," the tech industry’s victim-blaming band-aids, and why changing the way we think about sex and equality is the only armor that actually works against imposed sexualization.  If you’ve ever felt like the world is getting more dangerous for everyone online, this conversation will give you the language to understand why—and the tools to fight back. For more information about Soraya Chemaly, including all of her books and social media, visit https://www.sorayachemaly.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Kate Balestrieri interviews University of Washington professor Dr. Nicole McNichols who has taught “The Diversity of Human Sexuality” for about 15 years. They discuss McNichols’ book, “You Could Be Having Better Sex,” and answer a listener who wants to improve an already good sex life. Dr. McNichols introduces “micro-novelty” and explains how nonsexual forms of intimacy—intellectual, spiritual, aesthetic, and future-oriented—can strengthen sexual connection. She outlines her hierarchy of sexual needs (physical/psychological; social/emotional; creative/self-expressive) and reframes fantasies as pathways to desired feelings. They address mismatched effort, women’s sexual emotional labor (including the “fifth shift”), the harms of faking orgasms, and using curiosity, communication, and therapy to navigate blocks, emphasizing that pleasure is a birthright. 00:00 Meet Dr Nicole McNichols 01:20 UW Sex Class 02:10 Sex Ed Gaps 03:49 New Book Why 05:05 Listener Wants More (Question) 05:48 Micro Novelty Tips 07:05 Beyond Bedroom Intimacy 08:06 Intellectual Intimacy 10:21 Spiritual Aesthetic Intimacy 13:37 Permission For More 15:49 Sex Needs Pyramid 21:17 Fantasies As Metaphors 21:38 Sexual Growth Skills 22:42 The Fifth Shift Explained 25:00 Why Desire Drops 26:13 Stop Faking Pleasure 27:29 Talking Without Blame 29:38 When Truth Feels Betraying 33:30 Curiosity Questions That Work 38:42 Where To Find Dr. McNichols Dr. Nicole McNicholsBook: You Could Having Better Sex https://www.amazon.com/You-Could-Having-Better-Sex/dp/1668053772/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1PVG61UHELD4J&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.TGA7IggxO47gFh5N7FNfeBdXNGVVmI5-9DvqXOTAcaNsnnyIvLnAi7cUiILcSlagzzthTiIXbfp0sf7GuFRPS8CibcFU1gSObU0J26bQz5hxWLmIgIIGDDAifMs_B3yFxLFBl3-24vDuMyh_QUX5qg._m6W5rD2D4ok2dM0UpMgNTOy-DdC2wwNRdUC8KTgrYI&dib_tag=se&keywords=you+could+be+having+better+sex&qid=1771878717&sprefix=you+could,aps,195&sr=8-1 Website: www.nicolethesexprofessor.comInstagram (@Nicole_TheSexProfessor)TikTok: (@Nicole_TheSexProfessor) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you embrace sex positivity if you grew up surrounded by social messaging filled with shame? Dr. Tara is ready to help you answer this question, and share her journey to sex positivity as well! This week on Get Naked, the doctors are in session – Dr. Kate and Dr. Tara, who will be on 90 Day Fiancé, sit down to discuss: • First sexual experiences • Defining sex positivity • Unpacking the judgement and backlash that sex positive individuals face (and why) • The macro- and micro-communications about sex and so much more! Dr. Tara is the internet's resident sex expert for GenZennials, on a mission to show that women can at once be sexual, intellectual, and powerful. She is a tenured professor of relational and sexual communication, and quantitative research at California State University Fullerton, an award-winning researcher, the TV host of Celebs Go Dating, an award-winning sex researcher, a TEDx speaker, host of the Luvbites by Dr. Tara podcast, and an in-demand sex and relationship coach based in Los Angeles. On TikTok, Dr. Tara is sharing bite-sized nuggets of wisdom to an audience eager to step into their power in sex, life, and beyond. Translation: she's making some serious moves destigmatizing sex, and having a blast while doing it. Sponsor: Lume - use code GETNAKED for 15% off your first purchase at LumeDeodorant.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this enlightening episode of "Get Naked with Dr. Kate," we welcome Pamela Madsen, the visionary behind Back to the Body. Together, Dr. Kate and Pamela dive deep into the world of embodied sexuality, desire, and vulnerability. Pamela shares how women can reclaim their pleasure and sovereignty by embracing their eroticism and shedding the shame that often surrounds sexual exploration. This conversation touches on the significance of immersive practices, the challenges of arousal imprints, and how sexual healing transcends the bedroom to affect all areas of life. Tune in for an empowering discussion that will leave you inspired to reconnect with your body and embrace your authentic desires. For more information about Pamela Madsen, you can find her here: Website: https://backtothebody.org Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepamelamadsen/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Dr. Kate and renowned author, Soraya Chemaly, explore the misconceptions and dangers of resilience, highlighting the lack of social care and the value of care in society, highlighter in her new book: The Resilience Myth: New Thinking on Grit, Strength, and Growth After Trauma. Some of the key points include: - Resilience can be misconstrued and work against us when there is a lack of social care and value for care in society. - The concept of resilience has become detached from science and has proliferated as an ideology. - The science of resilience has biases and limitations, particularly in relation to gender and vulnerable populations. - Healing and resilience are not solely individual endeavors, but require community, relationships, and reflection. - Traditional notions of masculinity can hinder resilience and adaptability to change. - The idea of bouncing back to a pre-trauma state is a myth, and healing involves assimilating experiences and evolving as individuals. Rigid notions of masculinity can be harmful and lead to a lack of resilience. - Marginalized communities may overcompensate in one area to compensate for marginalization in another. - Cultivating an embodied awareness of our environments is important for resilience. - Resilience should be viewed from a relational perspective, emphasizing interconnectedness. -- Soraya Chemaly is a renowned journalist, activist, and author. Her work focuses on the words we use, the images we make, and how to act to build a better world. Her work will make you think, and give you plenty to talk about! Get Soraya Chemaly's books here: The Resilience Myth: New Thinking on Grit, Strength, and Growth After Trauma Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women's Anger Follow Soraya Chemaly: Instagram: @rageandresilience Website: https://www.sorayachemaly.com ____________________________________ 📞 SCHEDULE A FREE 30-MIN CONSULTATION: https://www.modernintimacy.com/contact Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Dr. Kate Balestrieri and Brooke Brownlee, APCC (Clinical Associate at Modern Intimacy) discuss a listener question, about how to navigate a partner's inflation fetish. They address questions about what an inflation fetish involves, how to ensure safety during activities, and how to support a partner's interests without feeling uncomfortable. They also debunk myths surrounding inflation fetishes and provide resources for further exploration. Takeaways - It is common for partners to have mismatched sexual interests, and it is important to approach these differences with curiosity and support. - Engaging in inflation activities can be safe as long as there is consent, communication, and awareness of potential risks. - Supporting a partner's inflation fetish does not require personal arousal, but rather a willingness to understand and participate in a way that feels authentic. - Myths surrounding inflation fetishes, such as associations with child attraction, should be debunked to promote understanding and acceptance. - Self-exploration, open communication, and seeking resources can help navigate and introduce inflation fetishes into the bedroom. Keywords #inflation #inflationfetish #partnership #partnersupport #safety #resources Read More: What Does It Mean to Have an Inflation Fetish? by Brooke Brownlee, APCC https://www.modernintimacy.com/what-does-it-mean-to-have-an-inflation-fetish/ The Juicy Round World of Blueberry Porn, by Samantha Cole, Vice https://www.vice.com/en/article/wjmjqw/the-juicy-round-world-of-blueberry-porn ____________________________________ 📞 SCHEDULE A FREE 30-MIN CONSULTATION: https://www.modernintimacy.com/contact ____________________________________ 🔗 FOLLOW MODERN INTIMACY ↘ INSTA: https://www.instagram.com/themodernintimacy/ ↘ TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@modernintimacy ↘ NEWSLETTER: https://www.modernintimacy.com/newsletter ↘ Check out the Modern Intimacy podcast on Apple Podcast or Spotify ____________________________________ 🔗 FOLLOW DR. KATE BALESTRIERI ↘ INSTA: https://www.instagram.com/drkatebalestrieri/ ↘ TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@drkatebalestrieri Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

ADHD can impact so many different aspects of a person’s life…including in the bedroom! On this week’s episode of Get Naked, Dr. Kate is joined by Alexandre Fraysse to discuss how to navigate living with ADHD (or loving someone with ADHD) and the ways that it may show up in the bedroom.  Together, they unpack: • Tips for taking accountability  • Sharing tasks in partnership • Recommendations when you’re stuck in a “functional freeze” • The role ADHD plays in the bedroom And so much more! Alexandre Fraysse is an ADHD coach for professionals who specializes in helping his clients master their lives and natural gifts, empowering them to become unstoppable forces of nature in their professional and personal lives. Through creating personalized strategies and providing unwavering support, Alex’s clients transform their lives, harness their strengths, and conquer any obstacles in their way.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever had a stressful day, filled with seemingly never ending tasks, and found yourself recoiling at the advances of your partner? If yes, you may be, as author Amanda Montei coins it, touched out. Amanda joins Dr. Kate in the studio this week to discuss this concept of being “touched out”, and the ways that it can permeate into our intimate and familial relationships. Together, the two explore: • The surprises one may encounter when entering motherhood • Being in recovery while becoming a mother • Weaponized choice in parenthood • The division of labor in households And so much more. Amanda is the author, most recently, of Touched Out: Motherhood, Misogyny, Consent & Control. She is a contributing writer for New York Times Magazine, and her work has also appeared at The Cut, New York Times, Elle, Time, Slate, and many others. She writes the newsletter Mad Woman. A special thank you to this week's sponsor, SEED! Support your gut this summer with Seed’s DS-01® Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/GETNAKED and use code 25GETNAKED to get 25% off your first month. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Can you ever be truly prepared to be a parent? And how can fathers show up for their sons to ensure that they grow up with emotional maturity? On this week's episode of Get Naked, Eli Weinstein joins Dr. Kate to discuss the in's and out's of parenting, especially when it comes to navigating fatherhood.  Together, the two unpack:  • How weaponized incompetence may be used in parental dynamics • The lack of role modeling for fatherhood that many men face • How postpartum may impact men • Tips for new fathers and so much more! Eli Weinstein is a Licensed Clinical Social Work Therapist who has worked in multiple settings, including psychiatric hospitals and outpatient clinics. Eli has honed his skills of CBT, ACT, positive psychology, and other therapy techniques to reach a grasp of the inner workings of the human mind. His mission is to use his experience, expertise, and voice to help empower individuals and let them know the life they hope for is possible. A very special thank you to this week's sponsors, SEED and VIIA Hemp! Support your gut this summer with Seed’s DS-01® Daily Synbiotic. Go to seed.com/getnaked and use code 25GETNAKED to get 25% off your first month. Head to Viiahemp.com and use the code GETNAKED to receive 15% off + one free sample of their award-winning gummies. (21+). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is anal s-x only for gay men? Is it riskier than other types of s-x? Does it cause incontinence? These are just a few of the ASSumptions that Dr. Evan Goldstein debunks on this week's episode of Get Naked with Dr. Kate. Anal play can be daunting for some, especially if you have no idea where to begin, or you've been poorly educated around the topic (or not educated at all)! Luckily, Dr. Evan Goldstein and Dr. Kate are here to help untangle some common myths surrounding all things butt related. Together, the two break down: • Common misconceptions around anal • How to begin training your sphincter • Exploring the body in an interoceptive way and much more! Dr. Evan Goldstein is the leading anal health expert in the United States, founder of Future Method, and one of the few surgeons in the world whose practice, Bespoke Surgical, is dedicated to treating and restoring the human butt. He has been featured in national publications including GQ, Well+Good, Men’s Health, Cosmopolitan, New York Magazine, Forbes, Fast Company, Out, and Shape; is a popular podcast guest; and in demand as a speaker for both medical and sex-positive industries. His first book, Butt Seriously: The Definitive Guide to Anal Health, Pleasure, and Everything In Between is now available – buy it here. A special thanks to this week's episode sponsor, VIIA HEMP! Head to Viiahemp.com and use the code GETNAKED to receive 15% off + one free sample of their award-winning gummies. (21+). Take your passion and pleasure to a whole new level with High Love from VIIA Hemp! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're exploring all avenues of empowerment this week, from female friendship to being a "Free Agent", bonobos vs. chimps, and even exploring age hypogamy relationships. Wednesday Martin, Ph.D. joins Dr. Kate on this week's episode of Get Naked to talk about: • Recent studies on female friendship and the crucial role it plays in women's lives • The benefits of decentering men • Bonobos, chimps, and the key differences of their social structures (including what we can learn from bonobos) • Why younger men reported wanting to be with older women • The concept of new masculinities And truly SO much more! By the end of this episode, you may be asking yourself, "How can I live more like a bonobo?" Wednesday Martin, Ph.D. has been a writer and social researcher in New York City (and now Los Angeles) for over two decades. Her writing explores gender, parenting and motherhood, popular culture, and female sexuality. Her memoir, Primates of Park Avenue, is a hilarious, touching, and insightful look into the exotic world of Manhattan motherhood. Her book Stepmonster, a finalist for the prestigious Books for a Better Life Award, is widely considered the “go-to” source for stepmothers, adult stepchildren, therapists and others who seek a uniquely candid, interdisciplinary, cross-cultural and comprehensive look at the topic. You can check out more of Wednesday's work by visiting her website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices