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James Garner owns a Sherman tank. A corrupt small-town sheriff frames his kid. Then the tank comes out. In this episode the crew (James, Clint, Charles, and Ryan) goes scene-by-scene through the 1984 oddity Tank. It’s part after-school-special father/son drama, part Police Academy-style riff, and part full-on “I’m driving my personal WWII tank through your police station” revenge movie. Shirley Jones drops lines you never expected from the Partridge Family mom, C. Thomas Howell tries to act, and a white-suited sheriff spends the runtime being the pettiest villain in Georgia. Expect the usual BMR chaos: long tangents about NCO clubs, boats nobody should buy, “p***y communist,” the ethics of bringing your own tank to a new duty station, and whether a 56-year-old James Garner is still the most charming man alive. We also hand out the awards — including the first-ever Screaming Eagle (Best Inanimate Object) — and argue about whether the movie’s wild tonal shifts and non-ending sink it or make it rule. Support Us: patreon.com/badmoviesrule Email Us: [email protected] Voicemail: 262-757-8567 Mail: Bad Movies Rule, PO Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105 Gear Up: Grab tees at teepublic.com/user/bad-movies-rule Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

James Garner owns a fully operational Sherman tank and uses it to stick it to a corrupt sheriff after his son gets railroaded in this 1984 “sticking it to the man” oddity. Join James, Clint, Ryan Mueller (the mayor) as they react to the trailer, spiral into increasingly unhinged predictions about prison breaks, presidential pardons, and “Jail Jail,” and debate whether anyone actually dies in this PG-rated tank rampage that somehow includes nudity. Tank currently sits at a 33% critic score, 48% audience score, and a 5.8 on IMDb. It’s not streaming free, but you can rent it for $3.99 on Amazon or YouTube if you want to go in prepared. Does the tank rule, or is it ass cheeks? Pull up a chair and find out. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We made it to November. Halloween is over, Christmas is creeping in, and the mailbag is stacked. This week the table is covered in packages. We’ve got a Turbo Man Funko (Howard as Turbo Man, specifically), a full 12-pack of Cheer wine from Daniel, and a plush starfish mascot from Cory that is already destined for the pre- and post-game table. On top of that, a whole stack of movies landed: Expendables collection, The Frighteners, Doctor Detroit, Critters (the whole set), Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, Black Christmas, Not Another Teen Movie, The Pirate Movie, Pirates of Penzance, Krampus, Jack and Jill, King Solomon’s Mines, Dollman / Demonic Toys, Kentucky Fried Movie, and more. Some of these are going straight into the reacts pile. We also got into emails and voicemails covering: How the show went from “talk about the movie” to full scene-by-scene breakdowns Which Fast & Furious / racing movie world you’d actually want to live in A drunk Waylon from Indianapolis calling to tell us Bob is the only one who doesn’t suck (multiple times) A wrestling RPG tag-team match question (who’s your partner, who’s the BMR crew member you’re fighting, and who’s their partner?) Resident Evil thoughts from across the ocean Kids headbanging to the mailbag theme and a 12-year-old who’s already a Terminator 2 / RoboCop guy Silence of the Lambs and the “Big Five” Oscars trivia A World Series update from a Rays fan who was at the game A “one drunk actor per scene” movie concept And a first-time email from a mailman who’s been through the whole catalog Plus the usual chaos, inside jokes, and people who sent movies with zero notes (we still love you). If you want in on the next one: Email: [email protected] Voicemail: (262) 757-8567 Physical mail: Bad Movies Rule! P.O. Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105 Reacts from a lot of these movies are going up on the main YouTube channel, so keep an eye out. Thanks for sending the goodies and the messages. This is the highlight of the week. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ten years of peace in Haddonfield. Then the Shape gets wheeled out of a boiler room on the eve of Halloween, wakes up in an ambulance, and decides it’s time to finish what he started. We’re breaking down Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988) with Bob Hauser (resident Halloween obsessive), Ryan Farrell, and Rachel Glassford. We’re talking the return of Donald Pleasence going full unhinged Loomis, Danielle Harris as young Jamie, Ellie Cornell as one of the most competent final girls in the entire franchise, the pink-and-blonde mask disaster, the substation, the posse of Flat Billy’s, the roof chase, and that ending twist that still catches people off guard. Is this a confident, well-made sequel that actually looks and feels like fall in the Midwest, or is it another case of “we need Michael back, figure it out later”? We dig into the practical effects, the weird metaphysics, the tactical decisions Michael makes that somehow include driving stick and parallel parking a tow truck, and whether Rachel puts the whole movie on her back. We also hand out the Will Patton Intensity Award, the Trash Can Full of Dirt, and the One Scene Wonder, then land on whether this one is a Bad Movie That Rules or a Good Movie Straight Up. Support Us: patreon.com/badmoviesrule Email Us: [email protected] Voicemail: 262-757-8567 Mail: Bad Movies Rule, PO Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105 Gear Up: Grab tees at teepublic.com/user/bad-movies-rule Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The BMR Dead Starfish are suiting up for a big one: Michael Myers in Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers. One host is going in completely blind (he’s never seen a Myers movie), the other has seen through Part 5 plus the Rob Zombie ones, and the scouting report is all over the place. They break down the Rotten Tomatoes scores (42% critics, 54% audience), the 2.8 Letterboxd rating, and a wild mix of reviews — from “greatest film of all time” to “too much Myers but also no Myers, and rednecks.” Then they watch the trailer, roast the janky mask, and lock in bold predictions: kill count (high teens vs. under), how the Shape gets taken out this time, and whether there’s a family-driven motive bringing him back after ten years. If you haven’t seen it yet, watch Halloween 4 first (streaming on AMC+ or rent it for $3.99 on Prime) so you can jump in with the full episode on Friday. The post-game drops the same day on Patreon. Brought to you by Rubber Fresh — make that murder mask smell like a pile of roses. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Light physical mail week, so we dubbed it the Ryan Mailbag and immediately got handed Under the Rainbow—Chevy Chase, Carrie Fisher, and the largest gathering of little people ever assembled for a Wizard of Oz munchkin debauchery comedy. We still don’t fully know what happens in it. We just know the stories are wild. Erin writes in about the Friday the 13th Part 3 episode and nearly dies laughing over hammock sex, dead starfish, pooping-while-getting-killed jokes, and Bob’s delicate butthole. Josh checks in from Myrtle Beach after living in an actual Crystal Lake, nine years cancer free, sitting by the lake with a room-temperature Pepsi and a Hershey’s Fifth Avenue to honor his grandfather. Kevin wants a Dead or Alive review and drops BloodRayne as a suggestion that will haunt us. James finds out EA closed BioWare and canceled Mass Effect 5 mid-development and has some feelings about it. Voicemails bring Sean from Missouri ranking the entire Leprechaun series (Origins is the worst, In the Hood is a classic), Travis from Pennsylvania with a heavy personal update that the show helped him through, and Christian from South Africa talking voice work that includes a George Takei restaurant and some very questionable film titles. Lion Steve wants our thoughts on Tulsa King, The Pit, Grimm, and Reacher. Then Jake sends us on a Google Street View tour of DeSoto, Missouri that starts with Jeff Speakman energy and ends in senior apartments and pure anticlimax. Emails, voicemails, movie arrivals, video game grief, and one town that sucks. The usual mailbag energy. Email: [email protected] Voicemail: (262) 757-8567 Mail: Bad Movies Rule, P.O. Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105 Patreon.com/badmoviesrule Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Alice is back in another underground Umbrella lab, clones are running wild, and Jill Valentine is somehow worse than ever. We go scene-by-scene through the fifth Resident Evil movie — reverse openings, napkin awakenings, laser grids, Tokyo simulations, Call of Duty zombies, ax-wielding giants, and a White House finale that somehow feels like Mordor. Bob, Joe, and Stephanie join James as the chaos escalates, the running gags pile up, and we hand out the usual awards. Does this one rule, or is it just another bad movie? You’ll have to listen to find out. Support Us: patreon.com/badmoviesrule Email Us: [email protected] Voicemail: 262-757-8567 Mail: Bad Movies Rule, PO Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105 Gear Up: Grab tees at teepublic.com/user/bad-movies-rule Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The BMR Pregame Show is live from Raccoon City. James, Clint, and Ryan get you ready for this Friday’s full episode on Resident Evil Retribution (2012) — the fifth movie in the series and the one where things have almost certainly stopped pretending to make sense. They haven’t seen it yet. That doesn’t stop them from putting the scores on trial (28% critics, 51% audience), comparing it to the last one they covered, reacting to the trailer, and making kill-count and bold predictions. Bob, Joe, and Steph are on the actual episode Friday. Clint and Ryan are not. In this pregame: Tale of the tape and how it stacks up to the previous Resident Evil movies Where you can stream it right now (Netflix and Prime) so you can watch before Friday Trailer reaction Kill count and left-field predictions Who’s actually on the Friday episode Watch the movie before Friday if you can — it makes the episode better. Drop your thoughts, the exact scene where the series fully jumps the shark, or your own predictions in the comments or at [email protected]. Full episode drops Friday, October 23rd. Stick around after for the postgame on Patreon. Timestamps (approximate from the recording): 0:00 – Intro + fake ads from Raccoon City 1:00 – Setting the scene for Resident Evil Retribution 2:00 – Scores and why it qualifies 4:30 – How it compares to Afterlife 5:30 – Where to stream it + runtime 7:00 – By movie 5 they’ve stopped pretending 9:00 – Trailer reaction 12:40 – Kill count & bold predictions 17:50 – Who’s on Friday’s episode 19:00 – Watch it first + postgame CTA Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The mailbag is stacked this week. A Beaverton care package delivers Oregon saltwater taffy (pickle pieces quarantined) plus a full Macho Man Randy Savage rap CD that disses Hogan. The movie haul includes a bloody In a Violent Nature collector’s set, The Burning, Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon, brutal WWII John Wick-style action, and the complete Leprechaun collection just in time for the new series. BJ from Six Flags Great America sends FrightFest passes and a personal invite. Bobcat from Fargo drops a sled-dog Alaska story, a signed Billy Zane Phantom photo, a Teen Wolf Funko, Battlefield Earth on VHS, Chuck Norris in Good Guys Wear Black, Kevin Sorbo as Call the Conqueror, David Carradine in Dino Croc, and snacks that include chicken-and-waffle Oreos and garlic pickle popcorn. Voicemails bring DJ’s Homer City street-view roast, Bradley’s Cyborg/Spy Hard/Waterworld lessons (night guns, flip-flop awards, Bullet Face, Chisum earworms), and Rob’s Neighbors/Doctor Detroit deep cut with Belushi, Aykroyd, and Fear on SNL. Emails settle the Friday the 13th hammock question, pitch a Dirt Bike Kid react, force a Fifth Element vs. Starship Troopers vs. Waterworld survival pick, and force the crew to read the actual “Big Bad Wolf” Teen Wolf lyrics out loud. Plus the usual Packers-Bears fallout. Physical mail, voicemails, and emails all open. P.O. Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105 or [email protected] or 262-757-8567 if you want in next time. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Warwick Davis in the role that somehow launched an eight-movie franchise. Jennifer Aniston in her first big movie. And Dana joins the show for the very first time to help us figure out how a movie this dumb got made. We dig into the clover rules, the inconsistent powers, the flashlight beatdowns, and whether the leprechaun was ever actually the villain or just a small guy who wanted his gold back. Spoiler: opinions are split, and nobody is fully ready for how not-scary this thing is. Full uncut version available on Patreon. Support Us: patreon.com/badmoviesrule Email Us: [email protected] Voicemail: 262-757-8567 Mail: Bad Movies Rule, PO Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105 Gear Up: Grab tees at teepublic.com/user/bad-movies-rule Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

BMR Pregame: Leprechaun (1993). The Dead Starfish lace up against a little guy in a box, and nobody on the panel has a clean memory of how this actually goes. From the trailer we try to figure out why a Dick Tracy extra is mailing a leprechaun, why Jennifer Aniston’s feet are Quentin Tarantino’s favorite shot, and why nobody in this house can just leave. Predictions cover the shipping theory, the car that will not start, the body count, and who walks out. Ryan is chasing another dead-even split. Somebody else is calling a blowout the other way. Friday, October 16: Leprechaun. Dave and Brian from Sam Movie Jam join Mattila and the crew. Bad Movies Rule! is a weekly roast of the movies you were not supposed to love. New episodes Fridays at 7 PM CST. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The boxes are jammed and the snacks have their own storage unit. Daniel More sent Cheerwine and a whole snack bunker from North Carolina, Ryan Morenci loaded us up with pork rinds and cookies, and Combat Wiener Dog mailed Gary Busey keychains plus a stack of stickers that include a Die Hard duck and a Sean Connery loser quote. Movies in the pile: Guns Akimbo, TerrorVision, The Video Dead, Wing Commander, and a Stephen King triple of the Tim Curry It, the Steven Weber Shining, and Salem's Lot. Then the mail turns on us. Steven Serna assigns every host a BMR movie that matches their persona. Joseph Paces fantasy-drafts a real Terror Squad (Chuck Connors, Steve James, Billy Drago, and a few more). Eric Valov demands a new nickname because he will not share Rubber Lover. Craig Soto, listening since 2021, writes in with a life update that we are absolutely taking credit for. Greg from New Jersey reports back from an AC/DC show and Hell's Bells. HR resigns after the counter hit five. Mr. Anonymous defends Final Destination 5 and 7. Timothy Caldwell puts Monster Squad back on the October list and calls out the Terror Squad vote. Matt calls from Seville with a Great Outdoors credits Easter egg. Chris calls from South Africa after committing the sin of listening to the competition. Bill closes it by singing the Teen Wolf basketball song straight through. Email [email protected], call or leave a voicemail at (262) 757-8567, or send physical mail to Bad Movies Rule, P.O. Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105. BMR Reacts is the second channel. Go subscribe please. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Friday the 13th Part 3 finally gets the BMR treatment, and the Human Movie Database is back in the room to help survive it. Ryan Farrell returns after four months away, the same crew from Part 2 is assembled, and Jason is now a ripped pro wrestler in a hockey mask that only exists because a lighting test went sideways. Steve Miner (or Stefan, depending who you ask) shoots the whole thing in 3D, so laundry poles, yo-yos, and the slowest harpoon in horror history are aimed straight at your face. The disco credits never charted, except in gay nightclubs. The movie knocked E.T. out of the number-one spot. Harold is eating donuts off the shelf and getting murdered on the toilet. A biker named Loco attacks a rope. Somebody has hammock sex. Somebody else dies mid-handstand. And Chris delivers a backstory monologue so stiff it got studied in academia. We cover the accidental birth of the mask, the barn Jason was just trying to nap in, why Part 2 suddenly looks like Cannes, and whether anyone in this cast can say a line like a human being. Awards get handed out. The final verdict does not get spoiled here. Support Us: patreon.com/badmoviesrule Email Us: [email protected] Voicemail: 262-757-8567 Mail: Bad Movies Rule, PO Box 383, Burlington, WI 53105 Gear Up: Grab tees at teepublic.com/user/bad-movies-rule Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The BMR pregame is back, and this week the boys are getting ready for Friday the 13th Part 3 in 3D. James, Clint, and Ryan settle the “we already did Jason Goes to Space, so why are we going backwards?” argument, recap how badly the Final Destination predictions went, and then watch the trailer like professionals who definitely know how IMDb works. Predictions are locked: one survivor or a last-second fake-out, body counts from 8 to 12, yo-yo guy is doomed, a woods cop is probably not making it, and the 3D gags might be the thing that splits the room. They also check the scores, argue about whether this one even belongs on the show, and map out the rest of the Friday the 13th pile before Halloween. Streaming on Paramount+. Full roast drops Friday. Postgame is on Patreon the next day. Patreon.com/badmoviesrule Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The post office called at 11 a.m. and told us to come get our stuff before they start charging rent. We skipped a week. The box retaliated. This mailbag is Ryan, Clint, and a table full of things we did not earn. Art sent a Chuck Norris Karate Kommandos figure and a pile of Pop Rocks, then stood back. Cory sent a Goldfinger DB5 with a working ejector seat and a 14-and-up warning we immediately stress-tested. A typewriter letter from our dark lord of stubbed toes claims Mattress Mack produced Sidekicks to settle a debt, then pivots into a Walker, Texas Ranger note, a Junior Rangers pitch, and a request that we still do Trial by Fire. We are doing Trial by Fire. The movie pile is unhinged. Popstar. Grizzly. The Final Girls. Exorcist II. A Titans triple feature nobody can read the year on. Pluto Nash. Hell House LLC. Jack Frost and Christmas Vacation 2. Tammy and the T-Rex. Neighbors. Theodore Rex. Haunted Honeymoon. The Couch Trip. Donnie Darko, which one of us has successfully avoided out of spite. The first season of Welcome to Derry. The Ladies Man. Student Bodies, which promises 1,423 laughs. Then Murph closes the show with a cassette player, a drawing of Arnold and Carl Weathers, and a stack of soundtracks: Rocky IV, Iron Eagle, Rambo, Batman, Lost Boys, Octopussy, Beverly Hills Cop II, and a blank tape we are absolutely sending back as a mix. Emails and voicemails cover a Terminal Velocity voting apology, a Sleepaway Camp curve argument, sword-and-sandal picks from Canada, a Mississippi spelling lesson, a Robert Englund convention story, Richard Pryor’s Moving, and Brian Boucher lobbying for movies that still shoot in actual towns. Kokomo, we are coming. Packages, letters, and voicemails: [email protected] and 262-757-8567 BMR Hits the Spot playlist is on Spotify if you want the soundtrack version of this problem. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices