Advertise on podcast: Happily Even After Betrayal with Life Coach Jen

Send us Fan Mail Your world can split into “before I found out” and “after,” and the after can feel like free-fall. Today we’re borrowing an unexpected word to steady the ground under your feet: eucatastrophe, a “good overturning.” I’m not talking about being grateful for an affair, lies, or divorce. I’m talking about the real possibility that healing can create a plot twist you cannot see yet, even when your nervous system is dysregulated and your future feels unclear. We start by naming betrayal for what it is: a personal catastrophe that disrupts trust, identity, safety, and the story you believed you were living. Then we unpack Tolkien’s idea of eucatastrophe as a metaphor for transformation after infidelity. Real life doesn’t usually shift in one cinematic moment, but it can change through many small, deliberate choices that rebuild confidence and self-trust. Whether you stay married and pursue genuine repair or move into divorce recovery, your growth is not determined by your relationship status. It’s determined by your healing. You’ll hear four practical steps to move forward: acknowledge the devastation without rushing to silver linings, separate what happened from what it means about you, reclaim your agency with boundaries and support, and practise openness to a future you can’t see yet. We also use a wildfire metaphor to show how new growth can emerge after everything looks burned down, plus three questions you can use today to find your next step. If you’re ready for support, schedule a free call and take the free betrayal stage quiz at lifecoachgen.com. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs hope, and leave a review so more people can find betrayal recovery tools that actually help. Please follow me on instagram and facebook @happilyevenaftercoach and if you want to see what coaching is all about I offer a free 30 min. clarity call via zoom. Email me: [email protected] for any comments or questions. Thanks for listening, please like and review as well as share with your family and friends. My website is www.lifecoachjen.com take the Free Quiz to find out how- How healed you are?

Send us Fan Mail A marriage can look solid from the outside and still feel unsafe on the inside. Today you’ll hear Jennifer’s story told in interview form with Meg the Divorce Coach, starting with the moment divorce wasn’t even a concept in her world and ending with the surprising calm she finds on the other side of betrayal and divorce. We get honest about repeated infidelity, the gut-punch of hearing “I want a divorce,” and the spiral so many of us know too well: making a mental list of how to be “better,” holding someone else’s shame, and trying to fix a problem we didn’t create. We also talk through the practical fears that keep people stuck, like money, alimony, child support, and the fear of losing your community or the life you worked hard to build. If you’re weighing reconciliation vs divorce, you’ll recognize the pressure of trying to choose the “right” answer while your nervous system is still in fight, flight, or freeze. Then we move into what actually helped: coaching, learning to question old beliefs, taking your power back, and making decisions from love rather than hate. Jennifer shares why peace and emotional safety matter more than appearances, how kids absorb the tension even when no one is fighting, and why taking one small step toward information can change everything. If you’ve experienced betrayal trauma, emotional betrayal, physical betrayal, or infidelity, this conversation offers a grounded path forward. Subscribe, share this with someone who feels stuck, and leave a review with the moment that hit you the hardest. Please follow me on instagram and facebook @happilyevenaftercoach and if you want to see what coaching is all about I offer a free 30 min. clarity call via zoom. Email me: [email protected] for any comments or questions. Thanks for listening, please like and review as well as share with your family and friends. My website is www.lifecoachjen.com take the Free Quiz to find out how- How healed you are?

Send us Fan Mail Betrayal has a brutal way of turning a clear need for change into one haunting thought: “Am I throwing away everything I built?” I’m taking on that question through the lens of relationship equity, the very real investment you’ve made over years or decades of marriage, parenting, traditions, shared losses, and the life only the two of you fully understand. When infidelity or deception hits, it’s not just heartbreak, it’s the shock of realizing the future you planned may not exist anymore.  I walk through why leaving can feel like losing and why staying can feel like surrender, then I challenge the trap that keeps so many of us stuck: turning the decision into winning versus losing. Relationship equity matters, and I refuse to dismiss it, but it should be information, not obligation. We talk about what you still keep if the marriage ends, including your growth, your wisdom, your boundaries, and the parts of your history that are still real even if betrayal was present.  Then we get practical. I offer questions to help you evaluate whether new equity is being built right now: honesty, accountability, repair, empathy, emotional safety, and true participation from both partners. I also share a simple three-column inventory you can do on paper to bring clarity without forcing a rushed decision.  If this helps, subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a review so more people navigating betrayal recovery and divorce healing can find support. Please follow me on instagram and facebook @happilyevenaftercoach and if you want to see what coaching is all about I offer a free 30 min. clarity call via zoom. Email me: [email protected] for any comments or questions. Thanks for listening, please like and review as well as share with your family and friends. My website is www.lifecoachjen.com take the Free Quiz to find out how- How healed you are?

Send us Fan Mail Betrayal can feel like your life got rewritten without your consent. One day you’re trying to hold a family together, and the next you’re spiraling through panic, grief, and the relentless need to know what’s true. We get it, and we’re naming the part that hurts the most: you didn’t get a choice in what happened.  Today we introduce a simple, powerful framework for betrayal healing: agency maximization. We break down the difference between agency and control, and why chasing control often shows up as phone checking, interrogation, or trying to force remorse just so you can feel safe again. Then we walk through the five A’s we use with clients who are navigating affair recovery, divorce decisions, and co-parenting through trauma: acknowledge what wasn’t your choice, allow what you feel in your body, assess what belongs in your bucket, act on one small choice today, and author what comes next.  You’ll leave with practical language for boundaries, a “two buckets” exercise to reduce rumination, and a new way to measure progress that doesn’t depend on your spouse cooperating. If you’re craving peace, self-trust, and a path forward even with uncertainty, press play. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find support after betrayal. Please follow me on instagram and facebook @happilyevenaftercoach and if you want to see what coaching is all about I offer a free 30 min. clarity call via zoom. Email me: [email protected] for any comments or questions. Thanks for listening, please like and review as well as share with your family and friends. My website is www.lifecoachjen.com take the Free Quiz to find out how- How healed you are?

Send us Fan Mail Your brain isn’t broken if you’re terrified it’ll happen again. After betrayal, it’s common to feel like you have to stay on watch 24/7 because the last time you relaxed, you got blindsided. That fear can turn into checking, scanning, replaying, and spiraling, and it’s exhausting. We dig into a truth that can feel both disappointing and relieving: worry is not protection. You can’t worry someone into being faithful, you can’t obsess someone into being honest, and hypervigilance doesn’t control another adult’s agency. What it does control is your body and your day, keeping your nervous system stuck in high alert and pulling you out of the life that’s actually happening right now. We also make an important distinction between awareness and anxiety. Healing doesn’t mean ignoring red flags or dropping boundaries. It means learning to separate facts from the stories fear adds, then responding to real information with clarity instead of living inside an imagined future. I share simple coaching tools like writing down the facts, doing a thought download, and asking three grounding questions when worry shows up. The biggest shift is moving from “I need to trust them completely” to “I trust myself.” You may never get a perfect guarantee, but you can build something stronger: self-trust, boundaries that protect you, and the confidence that you’ll know what to do if life hits hard again. If this helps, subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find support. Please follow me on instagram and facebook @happilyevenaftercoach and if you want to see what coaching is all about I offer a free 30 min. clarity call via zoom. Email me: [email protected] for any comments or questions. Thanks for listening, please like and review as well as share with your family and friends. My website is www.lifecoachjen.com take the Free Quiz to find out how- How healed you are?

Send us Fan Mail Betrayal can make you feel impulsive, panicked, and desperate for answers. That’s exactly why I wanted a seasoned family law voice on the show, someone who has seen what helps and what quietly wrecks a case. I’m joined by Mark Chin, a Mississippi divorce attorney with 48 years in practice, and we get honest about the early moves that protect your future if you’re facing separation, infidelity, or divorce. We start with the two patterns Mark sees over and over: people wait too long to talk to a divorce lawyer, and they confront a suspected affair too soon. He explains why an early consultation doesn’t force you into divorce, it simply gives you options. We also dig into the “evidence trail” most couples accidentally create through angry texts and emails, and how emotional discipline can keep your pain from becoming courtroom ammunition. From there, we move into the hardest parts: kids and money. Mark shares why children usually already know something is wrong, why many kids assume divorce is their fault, and how a parenting plan can work better than winner-loser custody labels. We talk financial reality, what “equity” means in family law, and why the court is not there to crown a winner. Finally, we explore AI legal advice and why tools like ChatGPT can educate you but can’t replace experience, human care, or “knowing your judge,” then we end with a hopeful look at collaborative divorce as a more peaceful path. If this helped you, subscribe, share it with a friend who needs steady guidance, and leave a review so more people can find support when life breaks open. Please follow me on instagram and facebook @happilyevenaftercoach and if you want to see what coaching is all about I offer a free 30 min. clarity call via zoom. Email me: [email protected] for any comments or questions. Thanks for listening, please like and review as well as share with your family and friends. My website is www.lifecoachjen.com take the Free Quiz to find out how- How healed you are?

Send us Fan Mail The hardest part of co-parenting after betrayal isn’t always the logistics. It’s the story you keep telling yourself about what your ex “should” be doing and the emotional whiplash that hits when they don’t follow through. Today we get brutally honest, in a way that’s meant to bring relief, about why chasing the fantasy of a suddenly reliable co-parent keeps you stuck and dysregulated. I break down a distinction that changes everything: the difference between a “Disneyland parent” and a “convenience store parent.” One may be fun-focused but still consistent and involved. The other shows up only when it works for them, cancels when something better comes along, and leaves you holding the emotional and logistical load. We also play with other truth-telling labels (holiday parent, highlight reel parent, revolving door parent and more) not to shame anyone, but to help you see patterns clearly so you can plan your life without constant resentment. From there, we shift the spotlight back where your power actually is: who you’re becoming. I share how I think about being the anchor parent, why “believe the patterns, not the promises” matters, and what real boundaries look like when pickups run late or parenting time is inconsistent. We talk about stopping the habit of parenting your former spouse, protecting kids from becoming messengers, and letting disappointment be a normal human emotion instead of an emergency you have to fix. If this lands in your chest, you’re not alone. Subscribe, share this with a friend who’s co-parenting through divorce, and leave a review so more people can find support when they need it most. Please follow me on instagram and facebook @happilyevenaftercoach and if you want to see what coaching is all about I offer a free 30 min. clarity call via zoom. Email me: [email protected] for any comments or questions. Thanks for listening, please like and review as well as share with your family and friends. My website is www.lifecoachjen.com take the Free Quiz to find out how- How healed you are?

Send us Fan Mail The moment betrayal hits, your brain starts demanding a guarantee: which choice won’t hurt as much, which choice your kids will “be fine” with, which choice you’ll regret less. I slow that panic down and challenge the question underneath it, because “Should I stay married or get divorced?” often turns into a right-versus-wrong trap that keeps you frozen for months or years. We talk about why there may not be one objectively correct answer after infidelity, and why both staying and leaving can hold grief, uncertainty, and growth. I unpack the moral stories that get layered onto divorce especially in religious communities and how to separate morality from your preferences, values, and real-life consequences. This isn’t about proving you’re a good person. It’s about deciding which life you’re willing to help create next. I also break down why fence sitting feels safer but usually creates the most misery, and why you should give yourself time to calm your nervous system so you’re not deciding from fight, flight, or freeze. You’ll hear the exact questions I want you to ask when you’re craving certainty, plus how to build self-trust so you can take the next step without needing a perfect forecast. If you’re ready to get off the fence and move forward with clarity, subscribe, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a quick review so more people can find support. Mark Chinn Bio:  Mark A. Chinn of Jackson, Ms, has practiced law for 48 years and operates a Mississippi statewide practice, specializing in family law. Mark has been the husband of Cathy for 48 years and they have four daughters and five grandchildren.  Mark has been Chair of the Mississippi Bar Family Law Section twice, served on the ABA Family Law Section Council, and has enjoyed long time service on the ABA Family Law Section Publications Board. He is the author of four ABA books on family law: The Divorce Paralegal Guide, How to Build and Manage a Family Law Practice, The Constructive Divorce, and Forms, Checklists and Procedures for the Family Lawyer. He is also the author of Dumping the Billable Hour.  Mark recently chaired the Mississippi Bar’s ad hoc committee on collaborative law which successfully secured adoption of collaborative law rules by the Mississippi Supreme Court in July 2024.  He has been a frequent speaker for the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers,American Bar Association Family Law Section, State Bar Associations, Mississippi College School of Law, Ole Miss Law School and the Mississippi Bar.  Mark is the most recent recipient of the Mississippi Bar’s Lifetime Achievement Award, presented at the Mississippi Bar Convention on July 9, 2026 Please follow me on instagram and facebook @happilyevenaftercoach and if you want to see what coaching is all about I offer a free 30 min. clarity call via zoom. Email me: [email protected] for any comments or questions. Thanks for listening, please like and review as well as share with your family and friends. My website is www.lifecoachjen.com take the Free Quiz to find out how- How healed you are?

Send us Fan Mail Silence can be louder than the affair itself. When cheating hits a family, kids often feel the shift long before they get any explanation and sometimes they find out through a phone, an iPad, or a rumor in the community. I sit down with Melissa Macomber, who coaches adult children whose parents had an affair, to talk about what that betrayal does to a child’s nervous system, identity, and sense of safety, even decades later. We unpack the three common roles adult kids slip into after parental infidelity: the secret keeper, the emotional caretaker, and the mediator. We also get practical about boundaries, especially when a betrayed parent is understandably in pain but starts venting to their child. Melissa shares simple, clear ways adult children can protect themselves while still loving their parents, plus why “do-overs” and honest repair conversations can change everything. We also dig into the question so many parents wrestle with: should you tell the kids, when do you tell them, and how much is too much? We walk through age-appropriate honesty for little kids, teens, and adult children, and why it’s almost always better for kids to hear a clean truth from you than to discover details online. If you’re dealing with betrayal trauma, divorce after infidelity, or the long shadow of a parent’s affair, you’ll leave with language, perspective, and real hope that healing is possible. Subscribe for more honest conversations, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more families can find support. What part of this topic do you want us to go deeper on next?  BIO: Melissa Macomber helps adult children navigate the emotional turmoil following a parent’s infidelity and rebuild healthier relationships with their families. As a former therapist with 10 years of experience, Melissa’s work is deeply informed by her own journey after discovering her mother’s long-term affair. In her spare time, she is writing a memoir about her experience healing from parental infidelity. Find out more about Melissa's work, including Authenticity After Family Betrayal, her online support program for adult children coping with a parent's affair, on her website: melissamacomber.com Please follow me on instagram and facebook @happilyevenaftercoach and if you want to see what coaching is all about I offer a free 30 min. clarity call via zoom. Email me: [email protected] for any comments or questions. Thanks for listening, please like and review as well as share with your family and friends. My website is www.lifecoachjen.com take the Free Quiz to find out how- How healed you are?

Send us Fan Mail Betrayal can make you doubt more than your partner. It can make you doubt your own instincts, your memories, your body, and even your identity. I’m Jen, and today I’m naming a pattern I see all the time in infidelity recovery and divorce healing: imposter syndrome after betrayal. That quiet fear that you’re not enough, that you missed something obvious, or that you’re somehow a fraud because your marriage looked “fine” from the outside.  We unpack what imposter syndrome really is, why social media and comparison fuel it, and how cheating creates the perfect storm for self-doubt. I share the apples and oranges truth that stops the affair-partner comparison spiral, plus a simple way to separate the facts of betrayal from the painful story we add on top. We also talk about why you don’t have to believe what a lying spouse says about you, and why proving your worth is a trap especially if you’re considering reconciliation.  You’ll leave with practical journaling prompts and new thoughts to keep in your back pocket, along with a stronger focus on rebuilding self-trust, regulating your nervous system, and choosing boundaries that protect your healing. If you’re ready to move from “What’s wrong with me?” to “What do I need now?”, press play. Subscribe, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find this support. Please follow me on instagram and facebook @happilyevenaftercoach and if you want to see what coaching is all about I offer a free 30 min. clarity call via zoom. Email me: [email protected] for any comments or questions. Thanks for listening, please like and review as well as share with your family and friends. My website is www.lifecoachjen.com take the Free Quiz to find out how- How healed you are?

Send us Fan Mail Dating after divorce can feel like starting over in a body that remembers every hard ending. If you’ve been betrayed, ghosted, or you simply don’t trust your own judgment yet, you’re not alone and you’re not broken. We sit down with dating coach Kristin Sokol to talk about what actually helps people move forward: replacing snap conclusions with curiosity, and building a process that protects your heart without shutting down real possibility. Kristin shares how her background in journalism and years in matchmaking shaped a research-informed approach to modern dating. We get into common post-divorce dating mistakes, why “all or nothing” thinking kills momentum, and how to create more opportunity by showing up in real life even when the activity isn’t your favorite. You’ll also hear practical guidance on dating apps, including how many apps to use at once to prevent dating app burnout and how to keep online dating from taking over your brain. Then we go tactical: why a phone call (or better, a video chat) before meeting can save you weeks of confusion, how to use a Google Voice number for privacy, and why Kristin’s “under 90 minutes” first date rule can reduce oversharing, prevent the vulnerability hangover, and set you up for a stronger second date. We also talk about texting and pacing as strategy, not games, plus what makes a strong dating profile when you want to attract the right person, not everyone. Find Kristin @ kristinsokol.com or on social media @kristinsokol If you’re rebuilding confidence and figuring out dating after betrayal, this conversation gives you clear next steps you can try right away. Subscribe, share with a friend who’s starting over, and leave a review to help more people find support.  Please follow me on instagram and facebook @happilyevenaftercoach and if you want to see what coaching is all about I offer a free 30 min. clarity call via zoom. Email me: [email protected] for any comments or questions. Thanks for listening, please like and review as well as share with your family and friends. My website is www.lifecoachjen.com take the Free Quiz to find out how- How healed you are?

Send us Fan Mail The day you discover an affair feels like the beginning of the story, but sometimes it is the moment an older pattern finally becomes impossible to ignore. We talk about family systems and the survival roles many of us learned in childhood, then carried straight into adult relationships without realizing it. When betrayal hits, those roles can quietly take over, shaping how we grieve, how we fight, how we parent, and how we try to rebuild trust. I break down four common roles through a betrayal and infidelity healing lens: the hero who overfunctions and becomes the project manager of recovery, the scapegoat who expects criticism and absorbs blame, the lost child who disappears and struggles to ask for support, and the mascot who uses humor and positivity to avoid vulnerability. None of these mean you are broken. They are adaptations that once helped you belong, but they can create disconnection in marriage and keep your nervous system stuck in survival. You will leave with clear questions to journal on, practical insight for reconciliation after an affair or divorce recovery, and a gentler way to understand yourself and your relationship patterns. If this resonates, share it with a friend who is trying to keep it together after betrayal, then subscribe and leave a review so more people can find real support when they need it most. Please follow me on instagram and facebook @happilyevenaftercoach and if you want to see what coaching is all about I offer a free 30 min. clarity call via zoom. Email me: [email protected] for any comments or questions. Thanks for listening, please like and review as well as share with your family and friends. My website is www.lifecoachjen.com take the Free Quiz to find out how- How healed you are?

Send us Fan Mail Betrayal has a way of turning ordinary moments into emotional whiplash. One minute you’re calm, the next you’re checking phones, snapping at people you love, shutting down mid-conversation, or saying sorry when you didn’t do anything wrong. If you’ve ever thought, “I’ve become someone I don’t recognize,” we’re putting language and structure to that experience so it finally makes sense. We walk through Terry Real’s relationship grid, a powerful tool I’m learning in coach training that maps two forces many of us struggle with after infidelity, divorce, and chronic relationship pain: shame vs grandiosity, and boundaryless vs walled off. From there, we unpack the four quadrants with real-life examples, including how a betrayed spouse can slide into controlling behaviors, lone wolf isolation, relentless people pleasing, or going completely invisible. The point isn’t to label you or diagnose you. The point is to build awareness, because awareness creates choice and choice creates healing. We also talk about the healthy center of the grid, what Terry Real calls the functional adult: the grounded place where you can stay connected and still hold boundaries, hear hard feedback without collapsing, own your mistakes without self-attack, and ask for support without guilt. I share a simple boat-in-the-ocean analogy to show how different survival strategies can look opposite on the surface while coming from the same fear underneath.  Take the Relationship Grid Quiz: https://grid.terryreal.com/ If you’re ready to stop reacting on autopilot and start rebuilding your identity and confidence, take the free quiz at lifecoachgen.com (Jen with one N), then listen and tell me: where do you spend most of today? If this helps, subscribe, share it with a friend who needs steadiness, and leave a review so more people can find real support.  Please follow me on instagram and facebook @happilyevenaftercoach and if you want to see what coaching is all about I offer a free 30 min. clarity call via zoom. Email me: [email protected] for any comments or questions. Thanks for listening, please like and review as well as share with your family and friends. My website is www.lifecoachjen.com take the Free Quiz to find out how- How healed you are?

Send us Fan Mail Betrayal doesn’t just break trust with a partner. It can rewire your nervous system, scramble your sense of self, and push you into coping moves that feel “smart” in the moment but keep you stuck for months or years. I’m sharing what I’m learning through my new training with Terry Real and the Relational Life Institute: the five losing strategies that show up constantly after infidelity, divorce, and major relationship rupture. We walk through each pattern in a clear, real-world way: the need to be right (and why it turns your marriage into a courtroom), controlling your partner (phone checks, tracking, constant reassurance), unbridled self-expression that becomes emotional dumping, retaliation that multiplies pain, and withdrawal that builds walls while you’re falling apart inside. If you’ve ever thought, “Why am I acting like this?” you’re not broken. These strategies started as protection. Then we shift into what actually helps betrayal recovery and infidelity healing: noticing the moment you reach for an old pattern, naming the feeling underneath it, and asking directly for what you need. We also talk about rebuilding emotional safety inside yourself, finding healthy connection when your partner can’t meet you there, and choosing peace over the endless fight to prove a point. If you want support breaking these cycles, schedule a free coaching call using the link in my show notes. And if this helped, subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find their way to “happily even after.” Please follow me on instagram and facebook @happilyevenaftercoach and if you want to see what coaching is all about I offer a free 30 min. clarity call via zoom. Email me: [email protected] for any comments or questions. Thanks for listening, please like and review as well as share with your family and friends. My website is www.lifecoachjen.com take the Free Quiz to find out how- How healed you are?

Send us Fan Mail Your life can look “fine” from the outside and still be built on a lie. Jen sits down with author KB Adamson to talk about what happens when you discover your spouse of 40 years has been cheating for most of the marriage and hiding a double life tied to strip clubs, porn, massage parlors, and prostitution. The moment of discovery is more than heartbreak. We name the nervous system crash, the rage, the humiliation, the fear of STDs, and the betrayal trauma symptoms that can feel like PTSD, including brain fog and the sense that reality no longer makes sense. We also go past the headline and into the ripple effects: adult children who feel betrayed, grandchildren who feel the tension, and the practical shock of finding out the finances are not what you thought. Kass shares what it’s like to file for divorce before you feel emotionally “ready,” and why safety, truth, and stability sometimes have to come first. We talk about how people often respond poorly to betrayal, how shame keeps survivors silent, and why betrayal can feel worse than death because the person is still alive but the relationship you believed in never truly existed. Finally, we get concrete about recovery. Kass explains how a betrayal trauma therapy group and a strong therapist helped her survive, and how therapeutic writing became a daily tool to quiet rumination and reclaim her voice. We explore the idea that addiction often functions as emotional avoidance and why real repair requires remorse as deep as the betrayal. If you’re navigating infidelity, divorce recovery, or rebuilding your identity after betrayal, this conversation offers clarity and a path forward. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs hope, and leave a review so more survivors can find this support. The Link to buy the book on Amazon- https://www.amazon.com/Hope-Rises-Journey-Betrayal-Power/dp/B0GDMCM2DR/ref=sr_1_1?crid=11HPM4RR3I3IX&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.7qR0S9hQ4T53rLukVxyflQ.VQ5IJM6HNMYDC5ryhEakUWZt2vWwyIAsBWq_q4q02Cc&dib_tag=se&keywords=hope+rises+kb+adamson&qid=1783913496&sprefix=kb+adams%2Caps%2C249&sr=8-1 Please follow me on instagram and facebook @happilyevenaftercoach and if you want to see what coaching is all about I offer a free 30 min. clarity call via zoom. Email me: [email protected] for any comments or questions. Thanks for listening, please like and review as well as share with your family and friends. My website is www.lifecoachjen.com take the Free Quiz to find out how- How healed you are?