Advertise on podcast: No One Dies from Divorce

Some divorces are disagreements. Others are wars. When fear takes over and kids get pulled into the middle, a high-conflict divorce becomes one of the most exhausting things a person can go through. In this episode of No One Dies from Divorce, I sit down with CoilLaw attorney Steve Oliphant, who's spent years handling our hardest, highest-conflict cases, to talk about what actually works when the other side won't stop fighting. We get into the word everybody throws around, narcissist, and why calling your ex one in court usually backfires. What a high-conflict personality really looks like, and why the calm, controlling spouse can read as the reasonable one while the worn-down victim looks like the problem. Then we get practical. Why the judge wants facts, not emotions, and the three levels of evidence that actually move a case. Why you should stay off social media even when you think it makes you look good. How kids get pulled into the conflict and what it does to them. And the single best piece of advice in this whole episode, straight from Steve: be the boring parent. Stable, brief, unbothered. That's what wins credibility, not outrage. And the truth we come back to every time: nobody really wins in divorce court. But you can walk out of this okay, with the tools to move forward, co-parent, and build a life that's better than the one you're leaving. ⭐ Follow Jill Coil: https://www.instagram.com/jillcoil/ 🎧 Listen to the Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/2CuLT52RpF2oS2WZCiKgMd?si=bb7fac209ab54c97 📕 Get the Book — No One Dies from Divorce: https://www.amazon.com/No-One-Dies-Divorce-Marriage-ebook/dp/B091Y8HP67 ⚖️ CoilLaw — Family Law Firm: https://coillaw.com/

Most people walk into family court convinced that the judge or commissioner will instantly see through their ex’s lies, validate their emotional pain, and hand down sweet justice. But here is the brutal reality: family court is not Perry Mason, and the bench is not there to heal your emotional wounds. In this episode of No One Dies from Divorce, I sit down with my partner in crime, TR Morgan. TR brings an irreplaceable insider perspective to our team: prior to joining Coil Law as an attorney and elite mediator, he served as a Domestic Relations Commissioner, presiding over more than 10,000 family law hearings. Together, we pull back the curtain on how family court actually works behind closed doors. We break down the crucial difference between commissioners and judges, why judges often hate hearing family law cases, and the harsh truth about what commissioners look for when reading hundreds of pages of pleadings late at night. TR shares the biggest red flags that destroy a parent's credibility in seconds—from dramatic soap-opera behavior and fake tears to weaponizing protective orders and putting children in the middle. If you have an upcoming temporary orders hearing, motion to enforce, or trial, this episode is mandatory listening to ensure you present the calm, solution-oriented case the court actually respects. ⭐ Follow Jill Coil: https://www.instagram.com/jillcoil/ 📕 Get the Book — No One Dies from Divorce: https://www.amazon.com/No-One-Dies-Divorce-Marriage-ebook/dp/B091Y8HP67 ⚖️ CoilLaw — Family Law Firm: https://coillaw.com/

Are you holding out for a judge to finally validate your pain and punish your ex? Let me tell you right now: the courtroom will not heal your heart. In this episode of No One Dies from Divorce, I sit down with my longest-standing attorney at CoilLaw, Luke Shaw, to give you the harsh reality about taking your divorce to trial.  One of the absolute hardest parts of going through a divorce is knowing when to keep fighting and when continuing the fight is actually destroying you financially and emotionally. I see it all the time: people refuse to settle because they want justice, or they want revenge. But as Luke and I discuss, handing your life over to a judge—a stranger who has ultimate discretion over your family and finances—is the biggest risk you can take. We break down the true cost of taking a case to trial (spoiler: it can take years), why fighting over "principle" will bankrupt you, and the reality of trying to track down so-called "hidden money." I also share exactly how to narrow down your top priorities so we can strategically settle and protect your peace. Remember, the strongest legal decisions are made with clarity, not chaos! ⭐ Follow Jill Coil: https://www.instagram.com/jillcoil/ 📕 Get the Book — No One Dies from Divorce: https://www.amazon.com/No-One-Dies-Divorce-Marriage-ebook/dp/B091Y8HP67 ⚖️ CoilLaw — Family Law Firm: https://coillaw.com/

The biggest mistake parents make in a custody battle? Thinking they can "win" their case with one dramatic, explosive moment in the courtroom. In reality, judges decide custody based on the behavioral patterns they’ve seen long before you ever walk through the courthouse doors. In this episode of No One Dies from Divorce, I sit down with attorney Austin Dominguez to deliver a massive reality check about the family court system. If you are heading into a custody dispute, you need to understand the fundamental disconnect between what you think matters (revenge, fairness, "winning") and what the court actually cares about (stability, consistency, and the best interest of the child). Austin and I break down the most common custody misconceptions—like why a cheating spouse doesn't automatically mean a bad parent, and why the court doesn't just let teenagers choose where they want to live. You'll get highly practical advice on how to de-escalate toxic text messages, why you need to stop treating the courtroom like a soap opera, and how to document your life so the facts speak for themselves successfully. Plus, Austin shares his own deeply personal experience growing up with high-conflict co-parents and why your kids are more resilient than you think. ⭐ Follow Jill Coil: https://www.instagram.com/jillcoil/ 📕 Get the Book — No One Dies from Divorce: https://www.amazon.com/No-One-Dies-Divorce-Marriage-ebook/dp/B091Y8HP67 ⚖️ CoilLaw — Family Law Firm: https://coillaw.com/

Most people don't lose their divorce in the courtroom. They lose it long before they ever get there, through emotional decisions that feel good in the moment and wreck the case later. In this episode of No One Dies from Divorce, I sit down with CoilLaw attorney Samantha Frazier to break down the biggest mistakes we watch people make over and over, and how to avoid them. The angry text that gets read out loud in court. The "private" social media post your ex will absolutely find. Taking legal advice from friends who weren't married to your spouse. And the newest one I've had to deal with in almost 20 years of practice: clients handing me legal strategy from ChatGPT, complete with court cases that don't exist, which costs them more money, not less. We also get into why chasing fairness and justice in divorce sets you up to be disappointed, why revenge and pettiness get expensive fast, why "winning" is the wrong goal, and why bringing a new boyfriend or girlfriend into the picture before the divorce is final blows things up almost every time. If you're going through this, the takeaway is simple. The people who come out best aren't the loudest or the angriest. They're the ones who stay calm, strategic, and focused on the life waiting on the other side. ⭐ Follow Jill Coil: https://www.instagram.com/jillcoil/ 📕 Get the Book — No One Dies from Divorce: https://www.amazon.com/No-One-Dies-Divorce-Marriage-ebook/dp/B091Y8HP67 ⚖️ CoilLaw — Family Law Firm: https://coillaw.com/

Finding out your spouse had an affair is one of the most devastating things a person can go through. After almost 20 years in family law, here's the hard truth I have to sit down and tell those clients: the affair itself probably won't change your divorce. But how you react to it can change everything. In this episode of No One Dies from Divorce, I'm joined by CoilLaw attorney Savannah Lawrence to talk about affairs, betrayal, and what actually happens when infidelity meets family court. This one is close to my heart, because the gap between the emotional damage of betrayal and what the law will actually do about it is one of the hardest things we have to explain to a client. Here's what most people don't realize. Utah is a no-fault state, which means the divorce is almost always granted on irreconcilable differences no matter who did what. Infidelity can matter in a very narrow set of circumstances, and I actually argued a case on exactly this in front of the Utah Supreme Court, but the scope is tiny and it only touches alimony. For the vast majority of people, the painful reality is that cheating will not hand you the win you're looking for. There is no justice or revenge waiting for you in divorce court, and chasing it usually costs you more than it ever gives back. Savannah and I get into when an affair genuinely does affect a case, like when the cheating spouse spent marital money on the affair or when it directly impacts the kids, and why even those are harder to prove than people expect. We talk about the myth that your ex is hiding piles of money somewhere, and why that rabbit hole almost always costs far more than it recovers. Then we get to the part that matters most: how betrayal makes people quietly sabotage their own case. The furious text message. The social media post. Following your ex to prove the affair, which crosses into stalking and harassment faster than people think. The blow-up that becomes a domestic violence charge or a protective order. Betrayal rarely destroys your case. Your reaction to it can. We share real, practical advice for staying out of that trap, including how to keep your communication clean, why revenge is a word I stop my clients from ever using, and how to keep your kids completely out of the middle of it. If you're living through this right now, please hear the most important thing we say. Let yourself grieve, lean on your people, and get a good therapist. But keep your emotional healing separate from your legal strategy, because they don't move at the same speed, and the calmer you stay, the stronger you come out the other side. ⭐ Follow Jill Coil: https://www.instagram.com/jillcoil/ 📕 Get the Book — No One Dies from Divorce: https://www.amazon.com/No-One-Dies-Divorce-Marriage-ebook/dp/B091Y8HP67 ⚖️ CoilLaw — Family Law Firm: https://coillaw.com/

Are you so emotionally exhausted by your divorce that you’re willing to sign anything just to make the fighting stop? Wanting peace is completely understandable, but settling too fast out of temporary fatigue can lead to legal and financial regret that lasts for years. In this episode of No One Dies From Divorce, I sit down with Coil Law attorney Chelsea Hoffman to unpack the hidden dangers of "peace at any price." We dive into the crucial difference between a healthy legal compromise and an uninformed surrender—and why rushing into a settlement without knowing your rights often means giving away more than you ever would in court. From managing high-conflict spouses who bully you into agreeing to bad terms, to the massive expense of trying to modify a bad decree later, Chelsea and I share practical strategies to help you protect your future even when you're in survival mode. Key Takeaways from this Episode: Compromise vs. Surrender: How to know your legal rights so you never agree to terms that give you less than your worst day in court.The High-Conflict Dynamic: Why capitulating to an aggressive ex out of conflict avoidance only empowers them and ruins your long-term boundaries.Getting It Right the First Time: Why reopening and modifying a bad divorce decree later is exponentially harder and more expensive than slowing down now.Tune in to learn how to navigate emotional burnout, protect your long-term stability, and secure true, lasting peace for you and your kids. ⭐ Follow Jill Coil: https://www.instagram.com/jillcoil/ 📕 Get the Book — No One Dies from Divorce: https://www.amazon.com/No-One-Dies-Divorce-Marriage-ebook/dp/B091Y8HP67 ⚖️ CoilLaw — Family Law Firm: https://coillaw.com/

A protective order is the closest thing family law has to a nuclear bomb. In the right hands it saves a life. Used as a weapon, the fallout can level a family that was never in real danger to begin with. After almost 20 years in family law, I've watched both happen, and that's exactly why I wanted to do this episode. In this episode of No One Dies from Divorce, I sit down with one of my senior CoilLaw attorneys, Alex Maynez, who's spent more than 25 years in family law, to talk honestly about protective orders: what they actually do, when you genuinely need one, and how they get misused in the middle of a divorce. Alex and I walk through what a legitimate protective order actually requires under Utah law, and why a bad marriage or a heated argument isn't the same thing as abuse. We get into the cohabitant law and the case that changed it, the Taylor Frankie Paul and Dakota Mortensen hearing that played out so publicly here in Utah, and why timing, specificity, and evidence are everything. ⭐ Follow Jill Coil: https://www.instagram.com/jillcoil/ 📕 Get the Book — No One Dies from Divorce: https://www.amazon.com/No-One-Dies-Divorce-Marriage-ebook/dp/B091Y8HP67 ⚖️ CoilLaw — Family Law Firm: https://coillaw.com/

When you're in the middle of a divorce, it can feel like a bomb went off and the smoke is so thick you can't see an inch in front of your face. You can't picture life on the other side, and you're terrified it's going to hurt like this forever. After almost 20 years in family law, here's what I know that you can't see yet: it doesn't. In this episode of No One Dies from Divorce, I sit down with my CoilLaw colleague Chariden to talk about the part nobody can imagine while they're still in it: life after divorce, and how often it turns out healthier, more peaceful, and more like you than the life you're leaving behind. We talk about why the fear of the unknown is so paralyzing, and why so many of the things people are most afraid of never turn out as bad as they imagined. I share what I call the rebound effect, the way your body is actually built to find its way back to happiness after something traumatic, even when you're convinced it never will. And we get into the one-year-later reality I see over and over: the client who swore they'd never get married again, who's thriving six months down the road and barely recognizes the person who first walked into my office. If you're a parent scared of what divorce means for your children, we cover that head-on. Kids do not thrive in a home full of conflict. They thrive with two parents who are calmer, healthier, and finally at peace, even in two different houses. Healing isn't linear and nobody expects you to be okay tomorrow. Some days you'll be on the floor. But your future is still being written, and this moment doesn't have to be the thing that defines you. No one dies from divorce. A lot of people finally start living. ⭐ Follow Jill Coil: https://www.instagram.com/jillcoil/ 📕 Get the Book — No One Dies from Divorce: https://www.amazon.com/No-One-Dies-Divorce-Marriage-ebook/dp/B091Y8HP67 ⚖️ CoilLaw — Family Law Firm: https://coillaw.com/

Do you actually know where your family's money is going? After almost 20 years in family law, I can tell you the partners who don't are the ones who end up most vulnerable in a divorce. In this episode of No One Dies from Divorce, I sit down with my CoilLaw colleague Crystal Anderson to talk about the part of divorce nobody warns you about: money and power. We get into why completely separate finances are the single biggest thread I see running through divorces, the way financial dependency quietly builds over years, and the cold truth about chasing "hidden" money like crypto and cash, and how much people waste looking for accounts that were never there. We also get into the Utah specifics: how alimony and spousal support actually work as a shift of income, what equitable division and a no-fault state really mean for your case, why "fair" is the wrong word to bring into a divorce, and what to look for when hiring a divorce lawyer who'll tell you the truth instead of just running up your bill. If you've ever felt powerless about money in your relationship, knowledge is power. The more you understand before a divorce ever starts, the more freedom, stability, and peace you'll have on the other side. ⭐ Follow Jill Coil: https://www.instagram.com/jillcoil/ 📕 Get the Book — No One Dies from Divorce: https://www.amazon.com/No-One-Dies-Divorce-Marriage-ebook/dp/B091Y8HP67 ⚖️ CoilLaw — Family Law Firm: https://coillaw.com/

Think family court is about finding justice and punishing your ex? Think again. In this eye-opening episode of No One Dies From Divorce, I sit down with my partner in crime and senior managing attorney, Gabi Jones, to reveal the harsh legal realities that often shatter our clients' expectations. As experienced advocates in family law, Gabi and I explain why seeking revenge or "fairness" during a divorce usually leads to emotional burnout and financial strain. We unpack the profound psychological impact of splitting a household and explore why perfectly rational, successful people often make terrible decisions when operating in survival mode. Giving up control to a judge means letting a stranger decide your future—so how do you navigate the legal system without losing yourself? Key Takeaways from this Episode: The Justice Myth: Why the legal system is built to divide lives and assets, not to punish bad behavior or validate your emotions.Survival Mode Mistakes: How trauma, fear, and a lack of control drive people to make poor, reactive legal choices.Reclaiming Your Power: Proven strategies to let go of the things you cannot control and confidently rebuild your life on your own terms.Tune in to hear the specific cases that fundamentally changed how Gabi and I practice law, and learn how you can navigate your own split with clarity and confidence.

Do you feel stressed out, bewildered, emotionally compromised, or overwhelmed with navigating your divorce? Today we are talking with author Andy Heller about how to deal with high-conflict divorces and co-parent effectively. Through his own divorce and life experience, Andy has outlined a pathway for how to manage emotional, logistical, and financial issues that occur during and after a divorce. His goal is to help people choose compassion over fear, heal hearts, prepare for a future, and provide security and stability for their children.

Samantha Boss spent years in and out of court, fighting to modify a poorly crafted divorce decree. This experience inspired Samantha to begin coaching others through the divorce process in order to help more parents avoid the pitfalls of parenting plans. Join us on this episode as we talk about the need for a solid, perfectly tailored parenting plan that covers your family's specific needs, or as Samantha calls it, ”the playbook for life with your kids.”

Divorce is hard on everyone. Between Mediation, decrees, lawyer fees, court dates, parent-time, and more, the divorce process can create a lot of chaos. Often the children of divorce get lost in the conflict, and their voices are not heard. Today we are talking with Grace Casper, a young woman who was a child of divorce. Grace is sharing her perspective as her parents divorced while she was still a child. In her book that's coming out in June, Grace shares what she wishes her parents knew during the divorce along with tips to help children cope with their parents' divorce. Listen in as we discuss how to hear what our children need during divorce, and ways to support them through this massive life change.

Shelly Anderson is passionate about life's journey and the stages we grow through. At times that includes loss, divorce, and death. Join us as we discuss how grief isn't just a single stage, and that trauma becomes a part of who we are.  Time does not heal all wounds; time allows the body to absorb the wounds and create space so we can mourn the life we thought we’d live, and press forward in the life we have.