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This month's movie is the 2023 Super Mario Bros. Movie! The sword of Damocles that has been hanging over this podcast since the beginning. For Dan, this was wasted potential held back by needing to be an Illumination film. For Maxie, this was an infuriating display of corporate branding that expects you to clap when you see it. Did we need Chris Pratt that badly? Was it really necessary to waste Holding Out For A Hero on a training montage? Did Jack Black singing the word "peaches" over and over again really get radio play? Our Rating: 5/5 Adaptation 2/5 Film Next Month: Twitter | Discord Dan | Maxie

This month's movie is Resident Evil: Extinction! In the time since the last movie, the entire world has become a desert wasteland to a bizarre and unparalleled degree! Milla Jovavich is going to have to be as cool and badass as possible in order to defeat Umbrella(?) and Paul W.S. Anderson is going to have to extract as much visual inspiration from his favorite movies without incorporating any of their meaning! What we're really asking though is: how has everyone managed to avoid dying of thirst? Next Month: Super Mario Brothers (2023) Twitter | Discord Dan | Maxie

In July of 2023, just a few weeks before SAG-AFTRA asked podcasters to refrain from discussing struck work, we recorded an episode on the Tomb Raider movie. With the strike over and ending on good terms, we felt it appropriate to finally release this episode to the public. Lara Croft: Tomb Raider is a peak 2001 (pre-9/11) movie in which Angelina Jolie is an adventurer seeking to acquire ancient artifacts said to being the key to controlling the flow of time. Up against her are the Iluminatii and her rival, played by a pre-Bond Daniel Craig. Our rating: 3.5/5 movie 5/5 adaptation Next Month: Resident Evil: Extinction Twitter | Discord Dan | Maxie

This month's movie is The Angry Birds Movie! Dan went in sober, Maxie went in on an edible, and at the end of the day it kind of just turned out alright. Turns out the really big game with a cartoony aesthetic has a really big and dedicated animation department? Next Month: Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001) Twitter | Discord Dan | Maxie

This month's movie is the film adaptation of the video game 007: Goldeneye! A throughly enjoyable romp! Extremely accurate, too! Though perhaps a little too influenced by the release of Austin Powers... Dan's Rating: 5/5 Adaptation 3/5 Film Maxie's Rating: 5/5 Adaptation 4/5 Film Next Month: Twitter | Discord Dan | Maxie

This month's movie is Dragon Quest: Your Story, featuring RPG superfan Max! Has watching so many bad video game movies lowered our standards for what makes a good movie? Maybe! Did we enjoy it! Yes! Did Dan cry during the recording because he was so moved by the climax of the film? Absolutely! Our Rating: 5/5 Adaptation 5/5 Movie The best movie we've watched so far? Next Month: ??? Twitter | Discord Dan | Maxie

This month's movie is Final Fatasy: The Spirits Within! What if a movie had the budget and mediocrity of Avatar but none of the profit? We've watched some stinkers for this podcast, but this one is easily the single worst film we've ever watched. It basically only has the Final Fantasy title for marketing reasons. Our rating: 1/5 film. This isn't an adaptation of anything Next Month: Dragon Quest: Your Story (2019) Twitter | Discord Dan | Maxie

This month's movie is the live-action Warcraft film! It's weird, it's messy, there's orc Moses, what more could you ask for? Next Month: Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within Twitter | Discord Dan | Maxie

This month's movie is Professor Layton and the Eternal Diva! This movie was surprisingly decent, but felt a little lacking in places, and with plenty of room to riff. Not enough puzzles for a movie based on puzzle games, and it's weird how they made a death game scenario where nobody dies. Next Episode: Warcraft (2016) Twitter | Discord Dan | Maxie

This month's movie is Pokemon: The First Movie! Local Mewtwo expert Emory guests to help us decipher who Mewtwo, as well as discuss the Mario movie trailer and the landscape of being a child in the year 1999. We forgot to rate this one. Next Month: Professor Layton and the Eternal Diva Twitter | Discord Dan | Maxie | Emory

After much delay, we bring you Hardcore Henry! DOOM (2005) was such a rough movie that we needed to find a good movie to watch, and we went with this one! In a bold and experimental approach to filmmaking, this movie is shot entirely in first person and meant to mimic an FPS. It works, but maybe it needs some more cooldown on its (extremely good) action. Our Rating: 5/5 Adaptation 4/5 Film Next Month: Pokemon: The First Movie (1999) Twitter | Discord Dan | Maxie

This month's movie is the 2005 Doom film! There are three important things you should know about this movie: This movie is based on the then-most-recent game in the series, Doom 3 Actually this movie is based on a more s****y version of Alien This is somehow the single worst film we've ever covered, so much so that we have to break our rules in order to get something palateable in our systems. Our rating: 0/0 Film 0/0 Adaptation Next Month: Hardcore Henry (2015) Twitter | Discord Dan | Maxie | Zach