Advertise on podcast: Nope! We're Not Monogamous

Opening a relationship can feel empowering… and activating. A lot of people expect ethical non-monogamy or polyamory to feel freeing right away. Instead, it often brings up jealousy, comparison, attachment wounds, and questions about self-worth. If you’ve ever thought:  “Why am I confident everywhere else but spiraling in my relationship?”  “Why does non-monogamy trigger my insecurities?”  “How do I feel secure and desirable while practicing ENM?” This episode is for you. Relationship coach Ellecia Paine talks with clinical sexologist and therapist Dr. Joy Berkheimer about confidence, desire, body image, attachment, and emotional regulation in ethical non-monogamy. Together they explore how ENM can become a path toward deeper self-trust, sexual empowerment, and real self-love. This conversation blends therapy, lived experience, and practical wisdom for women navigating open relationships, polyamory, and personal growth. 🔥 In this episode, you’ll learn: • How Dr. Joy discovered non-monogamy through swinging and polyamory  • Why swingers spaces can be surprisingly consent-focused and body-positive  • How jealousy and comparison show up in ENM (and what they’re actually pointing to)  • The role of attachment styles and early relationship experiences  • How to explore desire without shame  • Why community and support groups matter in non-monogamy  • What triads/throuples teach us about boundaries and emotional needs  • How self-love and sexual confidence impact relationship security  • What a “glow-up” really means in relationships and personal growth  • Practical ways to build confidence while practicing ethical non-monogamy 👤 About Dr. Joy Berkheimer Dr. Joy Berkheimer is a clinical sexologist, licensed therapist, and relationship coach who helps women reconnect with desire, confidence, and embodied self-trust. Instagram: @glowyourgoddess YouTube: Dear Dr. Joy Website: joyberkheimer.com Send us a text FLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Support the show 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online 🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/ Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein STIM IPI: 572 393 237

What if non-monogamy wasn’t something you planned… but something you found your way into? In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, I’m joined by Natalie Davis, editor of Polyamory Today and author of the memoir Saying Yes: My Adventures in Non-monogamy. Natalie shares her deeply human journey from a traditional, long-term monogamous marriage through infidelity, swinging, and polyamory, and how that path eventually led to building a chosen family that includes her partner and her metamour, all living together under one roof. This conversation is honest, nuanced, and especially validating if you didn’t start non-monogamy feeling confident, enlightened, or “built for this.” We talk about how safety is created over time, why early rules aren’t a failure, and what actually helps relationships evolve without burning everything down. In This Episode, We Explore: How Natalie moved from monogamy to swinging to polyamoryWhy boundaries and rules at the beginning of non-monogamy are about nervous system safetyLetting go of control as trust and security growWhat it really takes to live with a metamour (and why compatibility matters beyond love)Navigating age-gap relationships with intention and consentHow infidelity can become a turning point rather than the end of a relationshipWhy non-monogamy isn’t about having less commitment, but more honestyHow chosen family can expand your life in unexpected waysWhere to Find Natalie Website: https://nataliedavisadventures.com/Threads: https://www.threads.com/@nataliedavisadventuresBook: Saying Yes: My Adventures in Non-monogamy (available wherever books are sold)Send us a text FLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Support the show 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online 🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/ Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein STIM IPI: 572 393 237

Jealousy isn’t a flaw. It’s not a failure. And it’s almost never about your partner. In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, Ellecia unpacks a powerful realization sparked by reading Financial Feminist: the way we experience jealousy is strikingly similar to the way we experience money shame. Both are rooted in scarcity. Both are tied to safety, worth, and fear of loss. And both get way more painful when we shame ourselves for feeling them. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why jealousy is often rooted in shame, not insecurity or immaturityHow scarcity brain shows up in relationships, especially non-monogamous onesWhy non-monogamy doesn’t create jealousy, it reveals where safety was never taughtThe difference between trying to “fix” jealousy and actually listening to itHow to stop abandoning yourself when jealousy hitsA gentle somatic practice to bring your nervous system back online in the momentEllecia also shares why she’s been diving deeper into financial education, and how living outside the box, in relationships, careers, and family structures, requires us to build security intentionally instead of relying on default scripts. If you’ve ever thought, “Why am I like this?” when jealousy shows up, this episode offers a compassionate reframe that might change everything. Send us a text Support the show 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online 🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/ Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein STIM IPI: 572 393 237

We talk a lot about honesty in open relationships and non-monogamy. Tell the truth. Name the jealousy. Share your feelings. But what happens when you open up and your partner tries to fix it, explain it away, or tells you you shouldn’t feel that way? In this episode, Ellecia Paine breaks down why honesty alone doesn’t create emotional safety, how emotional invalidation quietly shuts people down in non-monogamous relationships, and what real validation actually looks like. We explore jealousy, insecurity, nervous system safety, and why being corrected instead of received makes it harder to open up over time. If you’ve ever felt shut down after sharing your feelings, or noticed yourself fixing instead of listening, this episode is for you. 💜 Want support navigating non-monogamy with more safety and clarity?  Book a Clarity Chat using the link below. Send us a text Support the show 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online 🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/ Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein STIM IPI: 572 393 237

Opening a relationship can feel exciting and urgent, especially once the idea of non-monogamy is on the table. A lot of couples hear advice like “date separately” and assume that’s the next step they’re supposed to take. In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, I slow that moment way down. Dating separately can be incredibly powerful, but only when your relationship has the foundation to support it. When there’s unresolved hurt, shaky communication, nervous system overwhelm, or fear being managed through control, opening up tends to magnify those issues instead of solving them. I walk you through five signs it might be worth pausing before opening, not because you’re doing anything wrong, but because building capacity first can save a lot of pain later. This episode is about honesty, safety, and learning how to go deep before you go wide. Healthy non-monogamy isn’t built by rushing. It’s built by trust, self-awareness, and emotional skill. 🎧 This episode pairs with Episode 138, Dating Separately: The Secret to Actually Surviving Polyamory as a Couple. If you want support building a solid foundation before opening, you can learn more about my one-on-one coaching program, Breaking Free From Monogamy. And if this episode resonated, please subscribe, rate, or leave a review. It helps more people find the show and tells me this work is landing. Send us a text Support the show 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online 🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/ Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein STIM IPI: 572 393 237

What do you do when your partner says they are open to non monogamy, but only under very specific rules? Only dating women. Only forming a triad. Only dating together as a couple. In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, non monogamous relationship coach Ellecia Paine breaks down what’s really underneath rules like the One Penis Policy and forced triads, and how to talk about them without turning the conversation into a power struggle. This episode is a continuation of Episode 138, where we explored why dating separately is such an important growth tool in polyamory. Episode 139 focuses on the communication skills needed when a partner feels scared of autonomy and uses structure to manage fear. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why OPP and “only triads” are usually rooted in fear and comparisonHow monogamous conditioning shapes control-based relationship rulesHow to talk about autonomy without shaming or self abandoningThe difference between care based boundaries and restrictive rulesHow to stay compassionate while still honoring your own needsThis episode is for anyone navigating ethical non monogamy, polyamory, or opening a relationship and feeling stuck around rules, jealousy, or control. 🎧 Listen now and continue the conversation started in Episode 138. If you want deeper support, learn more about Ellecia’s one-on-one coaching program Breaking Free From Monogamy using the link in the show notes. Send us a text Support the show 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online 🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/ Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein STIM IPI: 572 393 237

Dating separately is one of the most misunderstood and emotionally charged topics in non-monogamy. For many couples, the idea of a partner dating someone without them involved brings up fear, jealousy, panic, and a deep sense of threat. So it makes sense that a lot of people try to avoid that discomfort by insisting on dating together, only pursuing triads, or creating rules that keep everything tightly controlled. In this episode, I break down why dating separately is about building autonomy, emotional maturity, and real trust rather than abandoning your partner or weakening your relationship,  You’ll hear why dating together often feels safer at first, how monogamous conditioning shapes those instincts, and why avoiding separate dating can actually keep couples stuck in fear-based patterns that undermine connection over time. This episode lays the foundation for understanding why autonomy matters in ethical non-monogamy, and why learning to handle discomfort is a necessary part of building sustainable, healthy relationships. If you’ve ever thought “dating separately feels like too much” or “we’ll just do this together so it’s safer,” this conversation is for you. Send us a text FLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Support the show 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online 🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/ Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein STIM IPI: 572 393 237

What if the desires you’re most afraid to admit are actually the key to your freedom? What if the parts of you you’ve labeled as “too much,” “too weird,” or “too taboo” are the exact places your healing has been waiting for you to look? In this intimate conversation, I sit down with Sharon Marie Scott, Erotic Mystic, author of Forbidden Alchemy, and longtime educator in kink, conscious relating, and ethical non-monogamy. Sharon’s work bridges mysticism, sensual embodiment, psychology, and the sacred-erotic arts… and this episode goes deep in the best possible ways. We explore the intersections of taboo, desire, jealousy, sovereignty, trauma healing, and erotic awakening, especially within the context of non-monogamy. Sharon shares her journey from early monogamy to swinging, polyamory, kink, and ultimately a full spiritual and sensual awakening. She brings a level of clarity, honesty, and grounded erotic wisdom that you can feel in your body while listening. If you’ve ever wrestled with jealousy, judged your own desires, struggled with people-pleasing, or felt confused about what pleasure even looks like when you’ve lived most of your life in survival mode… this episode is going to be a revelation.  Find Sharon’s work, writing, and upcoming events at:  sharonmariescott.com  or https://substack.com/@sharonmariescott Send us a text FLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Support the show 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online 🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/ Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein STIM IPI: 572 393 237

If you’ve ever wondered which relationship skills actually make non-monogamy easier, healthier, and less chaotic, this episode is your new favorite deep dive. Today I’m talking with couples therapist Dr. Dan Sneider, who works with both monogamous and non-monogamous partners and brings a grounded, compassionate, very human approach to communication, trust, and emotional safety. We get into the skills that truly make the biggest difference, including: • How to communicate without spiraling • How to know when you’re going too fast • How to tell old baggage from a real relationship issue • The 5 to 1 positivity ratio and why it matters • What emotional safety feels like in your body • How to navigate the sex and feelings part of non-monogamy without gaslighting each other • Why “go slow to go fast” works every single time Whether you’re opening up, rebuilding trust, or trying to deepen connection, this episode gives you practical, usable tools you can apply right away. 📍 Work with Dr. Dan: intimacyshift.com Send us a text FLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Support the show 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online 🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/ Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein STIM IPI: 572 393 237

Ever tried to think your way out of a feeling? You read the books, have the talks, highlight every chapter on jealousy and self-regulation… and your nervous system just shrugs and says, “That’s cute, I’m still panicking.” This week on Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, I’m getting real about the hilarious (and exhausting) ways we try to outsmart our emotions, and why logic doesn’t work when your body doesn’t feel safe. In this solo episode, I share my own “self-help fails,” the moment I realized you can’t out-think a trauma response, and what actually does help when jealousy, anxiety, or insecurity hit hard in non-monogamous relationships. We’ll talk about what it means to stop fixing and start feeling, to breathe, laugh, and build emotional safety in real time, one micro-moment at a time. What You’ll Learn Why jealousy in polyamory is a nervous system response, not a logic problem.How overthinking and self-help spirals fuel relationship anxiety in non-monogamy.The mind-body disconnect that happens during triggers in open relationships.Simple nervous system regulation tools that actually help with jealousy and insecurity.How laughter and self-compassion reduce emotional overwhelm in polyamorous dynamics.How to use body-based honesty to communicate needs and build trust with partners.Send us a text Support the show 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online 🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/ Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein STIM IPI: 572 393 237

Ever been told that a relationship only “counts” if you stay in it forever? Yeah… hard pass. In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, I sit down with therapist, coach, and relationship anarchist Jessica Morgenthaler to talk about what it actually means to do relationships on purpose, not just by default. Jessica’s been practicing and teaching ethical non-monogamy for over a decade, and the way she talks about relationship design will blow your mind a little (and soothe your inner overthinker a lot). We dig into: → What it means to be a solo polyamorous relationship anarchist with a nesting partner (and how to deconstruct couple’s privilege without losing connection) → Why assumptions, not agreements, are usually what trip us up → How a “relationship user manual” can transform communication, accountability, and self-awareness → And why success in love isn’t about forever, it’s about authenticity, gratitude, and the courage to keep showing up → We also talk about aging, community care, and how to stop outsourcing all your emotional needs to one person (spoiler: your friends deserve a spot on your living will). This conversation is funny, honest, and deeply human, the kind that leaves you breathing a little deeper and feeling less alone in how messy and beautiful relationships can be. Connect with Jessica Morgenthaler, LICSWA, CCTP-I → ICU Transformative Consulting LLC www.icutransform.org Send us a text FLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Support the show 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online 🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/ Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein STIM IPI: 572 393 237

What if the secret to better sex, stronger orgasms, and more confidence isn’t another relationship hack—but your pelvic floor? This week, I’m joined by Jana Danielson, sensual health and pelvic floor wellness expert, Pilates master instructor, and creator of the Cooch Ball (yes, that’s really what it’s called). Jana and I met in a group for sex-positive professionals, and even though she’s delightfully monogamous—we don’t discriminate against the monogamous here—her work is pure gold for every body. We talk about the 14 muscles that literally make or break pleasure, why so many people struggle with tension or numbness “down there,” and how breathwork, movement, and curiosity can completely transform your sensual life. Whether you’re poly, monogamous, or somewhere beautifully in-between, this conversation will help you reconnect with your body, your desire, and your pleasure—because honestly, you deserve to feel amazing in your skin. 💎 In this episode: • The science of the pelvic floor and why it matters for everyone • How stress and tension affect orgasm and desire • What the Cooch Ball actually does (and why you’ll love it) • Simple daily practices to boost blood flow, confidence, and turn-on 💖 Learn more about Jana or get the Cooch Ball at  https://bloombetter.life/ellecia 🌀 Support the show for just $3/month at patreon.com/notmonogamous — it makes a huge difference and keeps these real, open-hearted conversations flowing. Send us a text FLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Support the show 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online 🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/ Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein STIM IPI: 572 393 237

In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, relationship coach Ellecia Paine dives into the emotional cost of silence in open relationships and polyamory. If you’ve ever swallowed your truth to keep the peace, or stayed quiet because you were scared of rocking the boat, this conversation will help you find the courage to speak up with honesty and compassion. You’ll learn how to: → Recognize when you’re betraying yourself by staying quiet → Understand the fears that keep you silent in non-monogamy (rejection, loss, shame) → Speak your truth without exploding or shutting down → Create emotional safety for hard conversations with partners or metamours → Reconnect to your own inner honesty and nervous system safety Because pretending your desires don’t exist won’t protect your relationship, it’ll rot it from the inside. Your truth might hurt for a moment, but hiding it will hurt forever. Send us a text FLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Support the show 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online 🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/ Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein STIM IPI: 572 393 237

You’ve read the books. You’ve had the conversations. You’ve tried to journal your way into compersion. So why does your stomach still drop the moment your partner says they’re heading to someone else’s house? In this episode, I’m unpacking the real reason jealousy sticks around in polyamory — even when you've “done the work.” Spoiler alert: it’s not about logic, it’s about your nervous system. We’ll explore: Why jealousy is a felt experience, not a failureThe toxic pressure to be the “chill poly person”What actually helps (hint: it’s not another script)Real-life signs you’re stuck in a jealousy loopA breathwork practice you can use mid-spiralListener Q&A on compersion, insecurity, and nervous system careIf your brain says “I’m fine” but your body says “I’m not safe,” this one’s for you. 💨 Free breathwork tool mentioned in the episode: https://www.elleciapaine.com/bliss Send us a text FLOW Nitric Oxide BoosterFLOW brings blood where you want it to go — your brain, your heart, and your pleasure zones. Try your first bottle of FLOW FREE — just pay shipping. Experience the results yourself and cancel anytime. We’re confident FLOW will reignite your spark!  Support the show 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online 🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/ Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein STIM IPI: 572 393 237

Are you stuck running relationship patterns you never consciously chose? In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, I’m breaking down how to identify the default “rules” you inherited about love, sex, and partnership, and how to rewrite them so your relationships actually work for YOU. So many of us grew up believing myths like: “If you’re really in love, you won’t be attracted to anyone else.”“To be a good partner, you have to want everything your partner wants.”“Jealousy means love.”The problem? These defaults often create shame, confusion, and conflict in non-monogamous and polyamorous relationships. In this episode, you’ll learn the 5 steps to rewriting your relationship code so you can experience real freedom: Identify the beliefs you inherited.Question what’s actually true for YOU.Create new agreements with intention.Practice new habits until they stick.Celebrate every time you choose yourself.By the end, you’ll see how rewriting your defaults allows you to show up with more confidence, clarity, and joy in every connection. What you’ll take away from this episode: Why inherited relationship beliefs hold us back in non-monogamy.The surprising truths about love, attraction, and jealousy.Practical tools to create new agreements with your partners.How gratitude and celebration make new patterns stick.Why freedom is a daily practice, not a one-time decision.Send us a text https://elleciapaine.com/call Support the show 📰 Subscribe to Not A Monogamous Newsletter to stay up to date with new episodes and offerings from Ellecia. https://elleciapaine.podia.com/newsletter ❤️ Enjoying the show? The best way to thank us is by following and leaving a review or a note. And if you want more, join our Patreon! http://www.patreon.com/notmonogamous 👀 Find Us Online 🌍 Website: https://www.elleciapaine.com 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/elleciapaine 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elleciapaine/ Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein STIM IPI: 572 393 237