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Sometimes, a beautiful experience can open a part of us we didn’t even realize had closed. After an unexpected trip to the beach left me overwhelmed with joy and feeling deeply cared for, I began reflecting on the words of Julia Alvarez, Ram Dass, Audre Lorde, Rumi, and Henry David Thoreau. Their insights led me to a surprising realization: life’s unexpected moments, whether challenging or wonderful, can reveal strengths we didn’t know we had and beauty we may have forgotten how to see. In this episode, I explore the connections between gratitude, vulnerability, love, and the barriers we build around our hearts. I’m discovering that being open to life means allowing ourselves to receive as much as we give, to say “I love you” more freely, and to welcome joy without needing to explain it away. Perhaps the secret isn’t changing what life brings us, but learning to see it differently. As Thoreau reminds us, it’s not what we look at, but what we see that matters. Akasha’s Book A spirited memoir of bold adventures, unexpected detours, and one woman’s journey to create a life on her own terms, “Unbecoming Behavior, A Southern Memoir of Adventurous Choices by Akasha Halsey.” is now available! Learn more and purchase here:  https://nowthatyouaskpodcast.com/unbecoming-behavior/ About the Show Now That You Ask is a podcast that looks at topics that range from death to desire, and from wondrous to downright whacky. Join host, Akasha Halsey as she takes listeners on a journey through her writing and experience with life’s most persistent questions. Thank you for listening! Listen to more episodes like this and subscribe to updates at https://nowthatyouaskpodcast.com

At 80, I’ve been thinking more about death and realizing that talking about aging has sometimes been my way of avoiding the subject altogether. I’ve planned my memorial and organized my affairs, but there’s one thing I can’t plan for: the experience of dying itself. How do we face the unknown, and can we ever truly prepare for a journey none of us understands? In this episode, I share my personal, sometimes uncomfortable thoughts about death, from my fears of pain and losing control to the unexpected moments of calm that remind me I may not need all the answers. Perhaps the path will reveal itself when the time comes. I don’t know, but I suspect I’m not alone in wondering. Akasha’s Book A spirited memoir of bold adventures, unexpected detours, and one woman’s journey to create a life on her own terms, “Unbecoming Behavior, A Southern Memoir of Adventurous Choices by Akasha Halsey.” is now available! Learn more and purchase here:  https://nowthatyouaskpodcast.com/unbecoming-behavior/ About the Show Now That You Ask is a podcast that looks at topics that range from death to desire, and from wondrous to downright whacky. Join host, Akasha Halsey as she takes listeners on a journey through her writing and experience with life’s most persistent questions. Thank you for listening! Listen to more episodes like this and subscribe to updates at https://nowthatyouaskpodcast.com

“The person who sets out on the journey is not the one who arrives.” This David Whyte quote has me thinking about how every journey changes us, whether we realize it or not. From leaving home for college, living on a spiritual commune, traveling the world, publishing my memoir, buying a new home, and turning eighty, each chapter has asked me to see myself differently. Some changes have been joyful, some humbling, and some difficult, but all have shaped the person I am today. I’m beginning to understand that there is no final destination where everything is figured out and life becomes perfect. The line I spent so many years trying to reach simply keeps moving forward. And perhaps that is the gift. Life will continue to change me through its challenges, surprises, losses, and joys. My work now is to stay open, relax my need to control the outcome, and trust that the answers will arrive when they’re ready. I look forward to discovering who I become along the way. Akasha’s Book A spirited memoir of bold adventures, unexpected detours, and one woman’s journey to create a life on her own terms, “Unbecoming Behavior, A Southern Memoir of Adventurous Choices by Akasha Halsey.” is now available! Learn more and purchase here:  https://nowthatyouaskpodcast.com/unbecoming-behavior/ About the Show Now That You Ask is a podcast that looks at topics that range from death to desire, and from wondrous to downright whacky. Join host, Akasha Halsey as she takes listeners on a journey through her writing and experience with life’s most persistent questions. Thank you for listening! Listen to more episodes like this and subscribe to updates at https://nowthatyouaskpodcast.com

After my first conversation with a group of women who had read my memoir, I found myself reflecting on what it means to tell our stories and allow ourselves to be truly seen. Their questions brought me back to the experiences that shaped me and reminded me why writing them down mattered. Our memories can reveal our strengths, our struggles, and even the parts of ourselves we might prefer to overlook. I’ve come to believe that knowing ourselves is a lifelong practice. For me, it means slowing down long enough to listen to my inner wisdom, accepting that I’m still a work in progress, and learning to offer myself the same kindness I give to others. This beautiful conversation left me feeling seen, grateful, and reminded that sometimes the wisdom we’re looking for is already within us. Akasha’s Book A spirited memoir of bold adventures, unexpected detours, and one woman’s journey to create a life on her own terms, “Unbecoming Behavior, A Southern Memoir of Adventurous Choices by Akasha Halsey.” is now available! Learn more and purchase here:  https://nowthatyouaskpodcast.com/unbecoming-behavior/ About the Show Now That You Ask is a podcast that looks at topics that range from death to desire, and from wondrous to downright whacky. Join host, Akasha Halsey as she takes listeners on a journey through her writing and experience with life’s most persistent questions. Thank you for listening! Listen to more episodes like this and subscribe to updates at https://nowthatyouaskpodcast.com

What if the qualities we already possess are enough to help us navigate whatever life throws at us? A quote from Marcus Aurelius got me thinking about gratitude, kindness, resilience, and the things within us that we might overlook until we need them. I found myself especially taken with his advice to “take full account of the excellences which you do possess,” although, naturally, I got a little distracted by his use of the word “hanker.” As a Southerner, I have questions. The older I get, the more I understand that living well has less to do with controlling what happens around me and more to do with remembering who I want to be when it does. Life will always deliver its unexpected attacks, and I won't always handle them gracefully. But when I can return to the values that matter to me, I find my footing again. Kindness, helping others, staying open to beauty, and learning from the hard moments have become their own kind of compass. Maybe being a good person isn't something we need to spend so much time defining. Maybe we just need to practice being one. Akasha’s Book A spirited memoir of bold adventures, unexpected detours, and one woman’s journey to create a life on her own terms, “Unbecoming Behavior, A Southern Memoir of Adventurous Choices by Akasha Halsey.” is now available! Learn more and purchase here:  https://nowthatyouaskpodcast.com/unbecoming-behavior/ About the Show Now That You Ask is a podcast that looks at topics that range from death to desire, and from wondrous to downright whacky. Join host, Akasha Halsey as she takes listeners on a journey through her writing and experience with life’s most persistent questions. Thank you for listening! Listen to more episodes like this and subscribe to updates at https://nowthatyouaskpodcast.com

What happens when life refuses to give us the answers, the timeline, or the sense of control we desperately want? Lately, I’ve been finding out. Between unexpected house repairs, a flooded yard, expensive appliances, and a tooth implant that has left me a little worse for wear, I’ve been feeling like I’ve temporarily lost my footing. Then I came across a simple quote: “The human wants answers. The soul wants awe. The human wants control. The soul wants surrender.” It stopped me in my tracks. Maybe there is another way to move through the messy, uncomfortable stretches of life. Instead of demanding a timeline or proof that everything will turn out okay, perhaps I can pause long enough to notice what is still beautiful.. At 80, I know being here is a gift, even when being here hurts. I may be a master complainer, but I’m also a master at stopping to smell the roses. And sometimes, that is enough to help me find my footing again, listen to my soul, and revive my roar. Akasha’s Book A spirited memoir of bold adventures, unexpected detours, and one woman’s journey to create a life on her own terms, “Unbecoming Behavior, A Southern Memoir of Adventurous Choices by Akasha Halsey.” is now available! Learn more and purchase here:  ⁠https://nowthatyouaskpodcast.com/unbecoming-behavior/⁠ About the Show Now That You Ask is a podcast that looks at topics that range from death to desire, and from wondrous to downright whacky. Join host, Akasha Halsey as she takes listeners on a journey through her writing and experience with life’s most persistent questions. Thank you for listening! Listen to more episodes like this and subscribe to updates at https://nowthatyouaskpodcast.com

Over the years, certain writers have become companions of sorts, people whose words made me laugh, think, feel more connected, and sometimes see the world a little differently. In this episode, I share the stories of three San Francisco Chronicle writers who inspired me in very different ways. Then I came across an unexpected quote from Muhammad Ali: “The work of the heart is never done.” It made me think about what these writers were really giving us when they shared their lives and perspectives. We never know who is listening, or how something we say might reach someone at exactly the right moment. Perhaps one of our greatest gifts is simply having the courage to let ourselves be seen, soft heart and all, and to meet one another with a little more kindness along the way. Akasha’s Book A spirited memoir of bold adventures, unexpected detours, and one woman’s journey to create a life on her own terms, “Unbecoming Behavior, A Southern Memoir of Adventurous Choices by Akasha Halsey.” is now available! Learn more and purchase here:  https://nowthatyouaskpodcast.com/unbecoming-behavior/ About the Show Now That You Ask is a podcast that looks at topics that range from death to desire, and from wondrous to downright whacky. Join host, Akasha Halsey as she takes listeners on a journey through her writing and experience with life’s most persistent questions. Thank you for listening! Listen to more episodes like this and subscribe to updates at https://nowthatyouaskpodcast.com

What does it really mean to be authentic? For most of my life, I thought being myself simply meant being honest, kind, and dependable. But over time, through heartbreak, travel, self-discovery, and a willingness to look more closely at who I really am, I began to realize that authenticity is something much deeper. It means letting go of who I think I’m supposed to be and making room for all the parts of myself, even the imperfect, quirky, impatient, and vulnerable ones. In this episode, I reflect on the lifelong process of discovering who I am and the freedom that comes from finally embracing that person. Authenticity isn't a destination or a lesson we learn once and move on from. It’s a daily practice of noticing when we’ve drifted away from ourselves and finding our way back. And when we give ourselves permission to show up fully as we are, we create something beautiful: a space where others feel free to do the same. Akasha’s Book A spirited memoir of bold adventures, unexpected detours, and one woman’s journey to create a life on her own terms, “Unbecoming Behavior, A Southern Memoir of Adventurous Choices by Akasha Halsey.” is now available! Learn more and purchase here:  https://nowthatyouaskpodcast.com/unbecoming-behavior/ About the Show Now That You Ask is a podcast that looks at topics that range from death to desire, and from wondrous to downright whacky. Join host, Akasha Halsey as she takes listeners on a journey through her writing and experience with life’s most persistent questions. Thank you for listening! Listen to more episodes like this and subscribe to updates at https://nowthatyouaskpodcast.com

After discovering that my attempts at assembling a garage shelf are better left to someone with actual expertise, I started wondering what tools might help me when I’m stressed, grumpy, or impatient. So I’m building a personal toolkit, one small strategy at a time. A little self-forgiveness, a good laugh at my own behavior, a favorite song sung loudly in the car, and a few reminders to help me shift my perspective before frustration takes over. Because perhaps being prepared for life isn’t about having the right answer or the perfect tool. Maybe it’s about knowing what helps us find our way back to ourselves. Akasha’s Book A spirited memoir of bold adventures, unexpected detours, and one woman’s journey to create a life on her own terms, “Unbecoming Behavior, A Southern Memoir of Adventurous Choices by Akasha Halsey.” is now available! Learn more and purchase here:  https://nowthatyouaskpodcast.com/unbecoming-behavior/ About the Show Now That You Ask is a podcast that looks at topics that range from death to desire, and from wondrous to downright whacky. Join host, Akasha Halsey as she takes listeners on a journey through her writing and experience with life’s most persistent questions. Thank you for listening! Listen to more episodes like this and subscribe to updates at https://nowthatyouaskpodcast.com

Recently, while I was moving, I stumbled across a “Notebook for Success” I created in 1995. Filled with quotes, pictures, monthly rewards, and plenty of optimism, it made me laugh, reflect, and wonder how much of that younger version of me is still around. Looking back, I can see that even then, I was trying to understand myself and trust that life would somehow lead me where I needed to go. More than 30 years later, I’m still learning, still wandering, and still occasionally making choices that surprise even me. In this episode, I reflect on the lessons hidden in my younger self’s words, the choices that shaped who I am today, and the comfort of knowing that no matter where I find myself, there is always something I can do next. Akasha’s Book A spirited memoir of bold adventures, unexpected detours, and one woman’s journey to create a life on her own terms, “Unbecoming Behavior, A Southern Memoir of Adventurous Choices by Akasha Halsey.” is now available! Learn more and purchase here:  https://nowthatyouaskpodcast.com/unbecoming-behavior/ About the Show Now That You Ask is a podcast that looks at topics that range from death to desire, and from wondrous to downright whacky. Join host, Akasha Halsey as she takes listeners on a journey through her writing and experience with life’s most persistent questions. Thank you for listening! Listen to more episodes like this and subscribe to updates at https://nowthatyouaskpodcast.com

What if we could trust what we sense, even when we cannot fully explain it? From the suffering and uncertainty I see in the world to the quiet pull of intuition and inner knowing. What happens when I stop demanding answers and simply pay attention to what I feel? Moving into a new home has become an unexpected lesson in trusting that inner voice. I may not understand why this house called to me, or why so many things that once felt right no longer belong, but I am learning to let the space, and life itself, reveal what comes next. Perhaps there is freedom in accepting that we don't have to understand everything we see. Sometimes we simply need to trust what we know, remain open to the adventure, and let the next chapter unfold. Akasha’s Book A spirited memoir of bold adventures, unexpected detours, and one woman’s journey to create a life on her own terms, “Unbecoming Behavior, A Southern Memoir of Adventurous Choices by Akasha Halsey.” is now available! Learn more and purchase here:  https://nowthatyouaskpodcast.com/unbecoming-behavior/ About the Show Now That You Ask is a podcast that looks at topics that range from death to desire, and from wondrous to downright whacky. Join host, Akasha Halsey as she takes listeners on a journey through her writing and experience with life’s most persistent questions. Thank you for listening! Listen to more episodes like this and subscribe to updates at https://nowthatyouaskpodcast.com

Moving into a new home has stirred up more than boxes and to do lists. It has uncovered old fears, impossible expectations, and the quiet voice that sometimes tells me I'm not enough. IWhat if my worthiness does not disappear just because I'm overwhelmed, anxious, or struggling? What if the way I speak to myself during life's hardest moments matters more than whether I get everything right? As I wrestle with garage shelving, missing paperwork, and my need to stay in control, I begin to see myself through a gentler lens. I explore what it means to accept both my strengths and my shortcomings without letting either define my value. Akasha’s Book A spirited memoir of bold adventures, unexpected detours, and one woman’s journey to create a life on her own terms, “Unbecoming Behavior, A Southern Memoir of Adventurous Choices by Akasha Halsey.” is now available! Learn more and purchase here:  https://nowthatyouaskpodcast.com/unbecoming-behavior/ About the Show Now That You Ask is a podcast that looks at topics that range from death to desire, and from wondrous to downright whacky. Join host, Akasha Halsey as she takes listeners on a journey through her writing and experience with life’s most persistent questions. Thank you for listening! Listen to more episodes like this and subscribe to updates at https://nowthatyouaskpodcast.com

Moving to a new home has reminded me that even the best planned adventures come with a healthy dose of chaos. As I settle into unfamiliar surroundings, I find myself learning far more than how to operate a new stove or toaster oven. I'm learning how to live with the unexpected, laugh at myself, and trust that things eventually find their proper place. Every box I open seems to hold a lesson in patience, resilience, and letting go of the need for everything to go according to plan. While this transition has tested me in ways I never anticipated, it has also filled me with gratitude for new beginnings and the quiet joy of creating a home. Sometimes the unexpected isn't there to derail us. Sometimes it's there to remind us that life is still full of surprises, and that we are more capable of adapting than we ever imagined. Akasha’s Book A spirited memoir of bold adventures, unexpected detours, and one woman’s journey to create a life on her own terms, “Unbecoming Behavior, A Southern Memoir of Adventurous Choices by Akasha Halsey.” is now available! Learn more and purchase here:  https://nowthatyouaskpodcast.com/unbecoming-behavior/ About the Show Now That You Ask is a podcast that looks at topics that range from death to desire, and from wondrous to downright whacky. Join host, Akasha Halsey as she takes listeners on a journey through her writing and experience with life’s most persistent questions. Thank you for listening! Listen to more episodes like this and subscribe to updates at https://nowthatyouaskpodcast.com

Some of the most meaningful moments in my life arrived disguised as interruptions to my carefully made plans. As my memoir was released, I also bought a new home, celebrated my 80th birthday, and found myself overwhelmed by change, gratitude, and the realization that life's greatest gifts rarely unfold on my schedule. Looking back, I can see that every unexpected twist, whether joyful or difficult, carried me somewhere I never could have planned on my own. Learning to loosen my grip on the outcome has become one of the hardest and most rewarding lessons of my life. Akasha’s Book A spirited memoir of bold adventures, unexpected detours, and one woman’s journey to create a life on her own terms, “Unbecoming Behavior, A Southern Memoir of Adventurous Choices by Akasha Halsey.” is now available! Learn more and purchase here:  https://nowthatyouaskpodcast.com/unbecoming-behavior/ About the Show Now That You Ask is a podcast that looks at topics that range from death to desire, and from wondrous to downright whacky. Join host, Akasha Halsey as she takes listeners on a journey through her writing and experience with life’s most persistent questions. Thank you for listening! Listen to more episodes like this and subscribe to updates at https://nowthatyouaskpodcast.com

What starts as the disappearance of my favorite birthday dessert becomes something much more unexpected. In this episode, I reflect on why our personal preferences matter, how certain foods become woven into our happiest memories, and why letting go of even the smallest traditions can feel surprisingly profound. Sometimes it's never really about the dessert. It's about the love, comfort, and sense of home it represents. As I search for a new birthday tradition, I'm reminded that change has a way of finding us, whether we're ready for it or not. Akasha’s Book A spirited memoir of bold adventures, unexpected detours, and one woman’s journey to create a life on her own terms, “Unbecoming Behavior, A Southern Memoir of Adventurous Choices by Akasha Halsey.” is now available! Learn more and purchase here:  https://nowthatyouaskpodcast.com/unbecoming-behavior/ About the Show Now That You Ask is a podcast that looks at topics that range from death to desire, and from wondrous to downright whacky. Join host, Akasha Halsey as she takes listeners on a journey through her writing and experience with life’s most persistent questions. Thank you for listening! Listen to more episodes like this and subscribe to updates at https://nowthatyouaskpodcast.com