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Today, in the month of love, we talk about sacrificial love in your neurodiverse marriage. Many view this month of love and Valentine's Day as a day for big romantic gestures, but what about living out love every day? How is your love beneficial and sacrificial without giving up yourself? Dying to yourself does mean abandonment of self, but often there are competing needs and wants in an ND marriage. Part 2 will be on Patreon, and we will share more of what is going on in our personal lives, how, and what this means for us right now! Are you able to join hands or lock arms in hard times? Are you walking through life as friends, lovers, enemies, or strangers?

Summary:   In this first episode of the year, the guys crack open the idea of what it means to be new—not just with gym memberships and resolutions, but deep in the rewiring of old patterns, assumptions, and emotional blind spots.  Dan kicks things off by admitting his old “default setting” was to walk in the door wondering what he’d done wrong—proof that sometimes the battlefield is the hallway between the garage and the living room. From there, Jeremy confesses his own default: being right about everything. But a surprising comment from his son at a hockey game (“There’s so much more going on than what’s on TV”) hits him like a puck to the head and opens up a whole new way of seeing relationships.  Kevin brings in the pastor’s line, “Do you want to be right, or do you want to win?”—and discovers that relational victory doesn’t always mean keeping score. Dan, meanwhile, reflects on curiosity as an antidote to assumption, while Jeff learns that geology may rock, but people matter more.  Between dad jokes about rock stars, cul-de-sacs, and Fraggle Rock sing-alongs, the group lands somewhere between reflection and revelation:  Becoming aware of your patterns. Accepting feedback without self-defense. Taking action toward connection, not correction.   By the end, they circle back to hope. If yesterday was about living on autopilot, this year is about choosing manual drive. “Participating in my own discovery,” Dan quips, “gives me the opportunity to participate in my own recovery.”  So whether you’re trying to read a face, repair a marriage, or just survive mornings before coffee, this conversation reminds you—every default can be rewritten.  Pull Quotes  “There’s so much more going on than what’s on the screen.” “Do you want to be right, or do you want to win?” “Participating in my own discovery gives me the opportunity to participate in my own recovery.”  #justtheguys #danholmes #actuallyautistic #neurodiversecoupletips #neurodiverse men  

New year - new you- or at least a new perspective of yourself and your neurodiverse marriage! So many times, once the diagnosis is made, the sole focus can become the autism/neurodiversity, but Dr. Stephanie & Barbara talk about the many complexities that make up a neurodiverse Christian marriage!

 It's 2026, and Dan and Stephanie start our podcast series this year on Atomic Habits. The month of January is all about NEW! Remember, Patreon is new! Part 2 of the discussion is on Patreon. In Atomic Habits, James Clear reminds us that real change doesn’t come from dramatic overhauls but from small, consistent actions that add up over time. For neurodiverse marriages, this principle is especially powerful. Many couples feel stuck because change seems overwhelming or unpredictable. But Clear’s 1% rule—tiny improvements repeated daily—offers a realistic, hopeful path forward for both partners. Clear also emphasizes identity formation, teaching that habits don’t just shape what we do; they shape who we believe we are. “Every action is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.” This aligns beautifully with the work Dan and Stephanie bring in from Dr. Jim Wilder, who teaches that identity is formed through relational attachment, joy, and repeated experiences of being our best self with others. When neurodiverse couples practice small relational habits—brief check-ins, shared cues, predictable routines—they aren’t only improving communication; they're also building trust. They are reinforcing a shared identity as a couple who grow, learns, and repair together. Starting small is essential for neurodiverse relationships. A five-minute conversation, one shared calendar habit, a single expression of appreciation, or one consistent environmental cue (like a reminder note or visual schedule) can be far more effective than trying to overhaul everything at once. Slow, steady repetition makes habits dependable, which builds trust and safety—core needs for both neurodiverse and neurotypical partners. The message is simple and deeply encouraging: meaningful change in a neurodiverse marriage doesn’t require perfection or intensity. It requires small, steady steps and a shared commitment to becoming the couple God is forming you to be—one daily habit at a time.

Today, Dr. Holmes talks with neurodivergent psychiatrist, Dr. Stacy Greeter. Topics discussed: Dr. Greeter's diagnosis journey at the age of 40 as a practicing psychiatrist. Growing understanding of Autism Myths about Autism Different presentations of girls/women in Autism Gender Fluidity & Autism Medications and How to be a psychiatric patient and advocate for yourself as an autistic patient  About our Guest: Dr. Stacy Greeter is board-certified in both child/adolescent and adult psychiatry. She collaborates with children, adults, and their families to design a comprehensive individualized treatment plan.  Dr. Greeter graduated summa cum laude from Duke University, where she was inducted into the Phi Beta Kappa Honor Society and received her Doctor of Medicine degree from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill under the Morehead Medical Scholarship. During her undergraduate and medical training, Dr. Greeter conducted extensive clinical research funded by the Howard Hughes Medical Institute on autism and on OCD. She completed both her adult studies and her child and adolescent subspecialty training at Northwestern University in Chicago, where she trained with nationally and internationally renowned psychiatrists. She is also certified in Internal Family Systems Therapy.  More info: https://www.stacygreetermd.com/about-us  Disclaimer: When we have guests on the ASR podcast, they are recognized for their expertise in autism as advocates, self-advocates, clinicians, parents, or other professionals in the field. They may or may not be part of the faith community; having a guest on the broader topic of autism does not reflect complete agreement with the guest, just as many guests may disagree with our faith perspective. Guests are chosen by topic for the selected podcast discussion and are not necessarily in complete agreement with all the beliefs of the selected guest(s).

In this powerful and deeply introspective episode of Just the Guys, host Dan Holmes sits down with pastor, musician, and spiritual director Josh Davis—also known as the “Autistic Pastor.” Josh shares his personal journey from a masked life of ministry and performance to one of authenticity, self-discovery, and spiritual transformation following his autism and ADHD diagnosis in adulthood.  Together, they explore themes such as:  The mental toll of lifelong masking and how dropping the mask opened up a more vivid, emotionally connected life. Discovering new ways to connect with God that honor neurodivergent wiring—including journaling, songwriting, and contemplative walking. Reimagining spiritual practices beyond traditional “quiet time” models and embracing embodied faith. The role of music, special interests, and authentic emotional expression in spiritual growth. What it means to show up to God—and others—with your own face, not someone else’s version of what faith should look like.   This is a rich conversation for anyone exploring their identity, navigating neurodivergence, or longing to experience God in more personal, integrated ways.  📌 Resources Mentioned:  Josh’s podcast: Neurodivergent Faith Series: “Connecting with God in Neurodivergent Ways” Book: Practicing the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence  

About: Today, Dan and Stephanie interview Jon Seidl, author of Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic. Neurodivergent men are 9 times more likely than their non-neurodivergent peers to develop an alcohol or substance use/abuse problem. The later in life diagnosed neurodivergent man (with ADHD or ASD) with a co-occurring issue of anxiety and or depression is the most vulnerable to alcohol or substance use, and the risk is higher for those who have suffered untreated childhood trauma. Hear our heart- this is not about shaming or blaming, this is about your healing and being set free! Jon talks about getting to the root of the problem: "Drinking is not the problem to solve- the unresolved issue that leads you to drinking is the problem to solve." As Leslie Vernick has said, "Drinking is not a marriage work issue. It is an individual issue that causes marriage problems." Dan and Stephanie feel passionately that marriage work should not be the focus of a couple if there is an active alcohol or substance issue. For the last 15 years, Jonathon M. Seidl (Jon) has been telling stories. In fact, he’s written over 10,000 posts in his lifetime, first after helping start the top-50 news site TheBlaze in 2010, then as the editor-in-chief of the popular non-profit I Am Second. He writes, speaks, and consults on the power of storytelling, radical vulnerability, faith, mental health, and addiction. In 2024, he revealed his own struggle with alcohol, explaining how he was the Christian who became an alcoholic, not the other way around. His personal story—from spiraling into addiction to how he climbed out of it— is the focus of his next book, “Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic,” slated for release on October 7, 2025. His previous book on anxiety, “Finding Rest,” instantly became a #1 Amazon bestseller, topping the charts in several categories like anxieties and phobias, mood disorders, and obsessive compulsive disorder. In fact, it shot up to become the #17 new release on all of Amazon and became a top 100 bestseller on all of Amazon as well. Jon has seen how the power of storytelling and radical vulnerability can transform people, businesses, and culture, especially after sharing his own story of battling anxiety, OCD, and alcoholism. His passion is to help people with mental health struggles and addictions, while also sharing what he’s learned, telling stories for—and working with—some of the media’s biggest names and organizations, including Arthur Brooks, Glenn Beck, Kirk Cameron, and Chip and Joanna Gaines. In addition to his writing, he consults businesses, leaders, and non-profits on how to tell their stories through his digital media and content creation firm, The Veritas Network, and runs a daily devotional called The Veritas Daily. He’s also currently finishing his master's in theological studies from Southwestern Seminary (SWBTS) and will graduate in December 2025. Originally from Wisconsin, he lives in Frisco, TX, with his wife, Brett, and his young children, Annie and Jack.  

Today on Coaches' Corner, we discuss burnout vs. autism burnout and the impact on neurodiverse marriage and family systems. What is burnout, and how is it different than autism burnout? When are neurodiverse couples most vulnerable? When the autistic spouse is in burnout, the impact on the non-autistic. Holidays are always a time that can bring on burnout- both positive and negative changes can bring about burnout.  Resources mentioned: Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily and Amelia Nagoski  Blog: https://embrace-autism.com/burnout-vs-autistic-burnout/ https://embrace-autism.com/preventing-audhd-burnout/  Book: https://embrace-autism-store.myshopify.com/products/the-ultimate-guide-to-autistic-burnout-e-book  About Dr. Mona Kay: Mona Kay, MSW, Ph.D., is the founder of the Neurodiverse Love community, the host of the Neurodiverse Love Podcast, and the creator of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards. She was in a mixed-neurotype marriage for 30 years but didn't discover this until her 29th year of marriage. Mona has been divorced since 2018, and her mission is to increase understanding and acceptance of the strengths, differences, and challenges in mixed-neurotype relationships.  She hosted the first virtual “Neurodiverse Love Conference” in February 2023, and more than 350 people from around the world attended. In addition, she facilitates online support groups for mixed-neurotype couples and neurotypical/non-autistic partners and shares lots of valuable resources on her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com.

As we enter the Advent season, we pause to remember the beautiful rhythms God gives us through the four candles of Advent—Hope, Peace, Joy, and Love—all pointing us toward the final candle: the Light of Christ. In the weeks leading up to Christmas, we are invited to not only celebrate these truths but to practice them in our daily life, our relationships, and our marriages. In this podcast, Dan and Stephanie will guide you through how each Advent theme can become a spiritual anchor for your heart and your neurodiverse marriage.  Christmas50 Use this code on special courses selected for 50% off! https://www.christianneurodiversemarriage.com/courses Courses included: Struggling to Connect Autism & Neurobiology Autism Female Phenotype Marriage & Family 22 sessions

 Today, Dr. Holmes talks to Heidi and Robin about AVA: Autistic Voiceover Artists. What if there were a place- a program- a community for autistic adults who want to use their voice talents in the voiceover industry? THERE IS! Have you thought about all the ways voiceover work is possible?  About our Guests: Heidi S. Hackney MS, PCC, Co-Founder Certified Autism Coach, ICF Accredited Life Coach, Masters in Human Development    Robin Brooke SAG-AFTRA, AEA, Co-Founder Professional Voiceover Talent of 20+ Years. Established VO Instructor and Coach. AVA Program Director.  How to contact: https://autisticvoiceoverartists.org/ About the Program Here at AVA, our mission is to empower autistic adults in the voiceover industry, redefine the creative community, and inspire positive change in the way society perceives and embraces neurodiversity.  Please join us! Together, we can make voices heard, dreams realized, and a more inclusive world for all.  Live classes led by voiceover professionals Elevate your artistry with specialty workshops Access voiceover video courses 24/7 A subscription program designed to work for you  The program is affordable!

Today, Dr. Stephanie Holmes talks with Occupational Therapist, Kelly Mahler. The topic is interoception! Every neurotype can struggle with it, but we find neurodivergent folks can have a few more challenges with interoception. Defined by Kelly's website: Many people notice these feelings in their body with the help of an important sense… a sense called… interoception. Don’t let the name fool you. The word interoception might not sound very sexy or important. But this sense is a really big deal. Interoception has a huge influence on many areas of our lives, like self-regulation, mental health, and social connection.  About our Guest: Kelly Mahler, OTD, OTR/L, earned a Doctorate in Occupational Therapy from Misericordia University, Dallas, PA. She has been an occupational therapist for 20 years, serving school-aged children and adults. Kelly is the winner of multiple awards, including the 2020 American Occupational Therapy Association Emerging and Innovative Practice Award & a Mom’s Choice Gold Medal. She is an adjunct faculty member at Elizabethtown College, Elizabethtown, PA as well as at Misericordia University, Dallas, PA. Kelly is a co-principal investigator in several research projects pertaining to topics such as interoception, self-regulation, trauma & autism.

In this holiday-themed episode of Just the Guys, the conversation centers on thankfulness—not as a sentimental add-on to Thanksgiving, but as a practical tool for navigating the chaos of family gatherings. Drawing from Dr. Jim Wilder’s teaching on appreciation as the spark that “turns on our relational circuits,” the guys explore how gratitude transforms not just moods but entire relationships.  Greg admits that even when overstimulated, “I still made the turkey; it’s my job”—a wry reminder that responsibility and love can coexist with limits and self-awareness. Jeremy reflects on the sobering truth that “what you complain about today might be someone else’s answered prayer,” while Kevin shares how recovery and thankfulness helped him replace counterfeit joys with authentic connection. Dan rounds out the discussion with insights on starting the day with intentional gratitude as a way to short-circuit negativity before it starts.  From Western novels as an escape hatch to unexpected hugs from kids, from box breathing to pecan pie, the guys trade stories of how thankfulness shows up in real life—sometimes messy, sometimes humorous, but always transformative. With family gatherings looming, they offer encouragement to embrace both the people you love and the people who stretch your patience, not as problems to solve but as relationships to nurture.  The takeaway? Joy rarely arrives by accident—it’s cultivated, like Greg’s turkey, with intentional care.

 Today, Dr. Stephanie and Barb talk with Dr. Jill Corvelli about the ND Compass charting stages of relationship progression for ND couples. Stages of Relationship Progression: Romance Power Struggle Stability Commitment Co-Creation   About Our Guest: Jill Corvelli, PhD, LPC, is the creator of ND Compass, a structured methodology designed to support neurodiverse couples in relational healing. With over a decade of experience working with hundreds of couples in thousands of sessions, she has developed a systematic approach that integrates Liberating Structures, Differentiation, and Somatic Self-Energy Activation into a phased, neuroaffirming therapeutic framework. Originally developed to stabilize couples during the Power Struggle stage of relational development, ND Compass has expanded to support couples across all five stages of relational growth. Dr. Corvelli is a University Supervisor at Northwestern University’s Family Institute, where she trains and mentors graduate-level clinicians. She is experienced in Internal Family Systems (IFS), EMDR, and Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy (KAP), and has extensive experience integrating neuroscience, somatic work, and relational models into therapy. As a national trainer and consultant, she teaches therapists how to bridge the gap between relational stabilization and deeper inner differentiation work, ensuring that neurodiverse couples experience developmental growth in a way that is accessible, paced for their nervous systems, and structured to honor their unique lived experiences. Couples Institute: https://www.couplesinstitute.com/therapists-toolkit-for-neurodiverse-couples/?srsltid=AfmBOorpmFwzP_PTwfWel2FDkhyt83uX3mD94qGEseYBQxdEliisZmYi  ND Compass: https://www.ndpartnersinstitute.com/about