Advertise on podcast: The Jocular Pugilists

What really determines the relationship you have with your brothers and sisters? Birth order? Parenting? Favoritism? Personality? Or simply surviving childhood together? This week on The Jocular Pugilists, Phil welcomes a very special guest—his younger brother Lou—for a funny, personal and surprisingly revealing conversation about siblings, sibling rivalry, birth order and family dynamics. With 13 years separating them, Phil and Lou grew up in the same family but experienced their parents—and childhood itself—in very different ways. From being the oldest, middle or youngest child to wondering whether parents secretly have a favorite, they look at how our place in the family may influence the adults we eventually become. Along the way, they revisit childhood fights, questionable parenting decisions, musical influences, brotherly protection, family legends and what happens when your older siblings occasionally act more like additional parents. In this episode: How birth order may influence personality and behaviorWhy firstborn, middle and youngest children can have very different childhoodsWhether parents really have a favorite childWhat causes sibling rivalryWhy some brothers and sisters become lifelong friends while others grow apartHow parents change their parenting style from the first child to the lastHow older siblings can become role models, protectors—and occasionally terrible influencesWhy shared childhood experiences can create powerful lifelong bondsHow technology, social media and changing family life may be affecting sibling relationshipsAnd several Giangrande family stories that probably should have remained privateFrom Cain and Abel to fighting over bikes, bedrooms and parental attention, sibling rivalry may be one of the oldest family dynamics in human history—but so is brotherly love. If you grew up with brothers or sisters—or you're raising siblings of your own—this episode may have you looking at your family very differently. The Jocular Pugilists explores the strange, funny and occasionally ridiculous forces that shape our lives, culture and relationships. Let us know what you think. Email Phil or Tomas at:  [email protected] And check out our website at: thejocularpugilists.com

There was a time when nobody wore seatbelts, teachers could hit you, smoking was everywhere, and apparently handing kids handling explosives was considered perfectly reasonable parenting. Tomas and Phil look back at the things that seemed completely normal growing up—and seem completely insane now. Tennis-ball cannons, Catholic school, corporal punishment, bucket seats, smoking in restaurants, dangerous playgrounds, and the brilliant idea of grabbing onto a friend's car while riding a skateboard because you saw it in Back to the Future. Were we tougher back then, or were we all just incredibly lucky to survive? Let us know what you think. Email Phil or Tomas at:  [email protected] And check out our website at: thejocularpugilists.com

While Phil and Stacey celebrate their honeymoon in Italy, we’re raising a glass to the newlyweds with an encore of another adventure they shared: a trip to Scotland’s Edinburgh Castle. Join Phil and Tomas for a ramble through the castle’s Gothic chapels and historic halls, swapping travel stories and exploring the fascinating—and sometimes creepy—history of one of Edinburgh’s most iconic landmarks. Expect curiosity, laughs, and questionable commentary as our intrepid travelers stumble through the ruins of their historical knowledge. Congratulations, Phil and Stacey—here’s to a lifetime of adventures together! Let us know what you think. Email Phil or Tomas at:  [email protected] And check out our website at: thejocularpugilists.com

Healthy eating shouldn’t mean filling your cart with foods you don’t enjoy and hoping willpower gets you through the week. In this episode, the Jocular Pugilists explore how to shop for a way of eating that is both healthy and genuinely delicious. We compare fresh and frozen foods, affordable and premium proteins, conventional and organic produce, convenient ingredients, satisfying snacks, and the products that are—or aren’t—worth the extra money. Along the way, we discuss food safety and processing standards, identify nutritious grocery-store bargains, and determine where spending a little more can make healthy meals easier and more enjoyable. We also build our ideal grocery carts and put popular foods through a rapid-fire round of Buy It, Leave It, or It Depends. The goal isn’t to create the cheapest cart or the most restrictive diet. It’s to bring home flavorful, nourishing food you’ll actually look forward to eating. Let us know what you think. Email Phil or Tomas at:  [email protected] And check out our website at: thejocularpugilists.com

Are we truly better together? Inspired by a celebration of his parents’ 65th wedding anniversary, Tomas and Phil explore why human beings form lasting partnerships—and what having somebody beside us can add to our lives. They discuss companionship, pair bonding, intimacy, shared identity, and the difference between facing a problem alone and saying, “We’ll figure it out together.” They also examine research suggesting that strong social relationships may support better health and a longer life. But is any relationship better than being single? The conversation also considers why the quality of a partnership matters—and whether an unhealthy relationship can be worse than being alone. Let us know what you think. Email Phil or Tomas at:  [email protected] And check out our website at: thejocularpugilists.com

Going out to dinner used to be simple: sit down, order food, eat, pay, leave. Apparently, we’ve made it much more complicated. What happens when your friend shows up 25 minutes late? Do you wait to order—or are the appetizers already coming? Should the person who ordered four martinis really expect everyone else to split the check evenly? Can you send back a steak that’s overcooked? What about a dish you simply don’t like? How much are we tipping now? Is 20% still good, or has society quietly moved the goalposts while nobody was looking? And perhaps the most important question of all: Can everybody PLEASE put their phones away for one meal? In this episode of The Jocular Pugilists, Phil and Tomas dive into the unwritten rules of restaurant etiquette—and discover that dining out may contain more social landmines than international diplomacy. They debate the behaviors that make servers crazy, customers furious, friends uncomfortable and dinner tabs considerably more complicated than they need to be. In this episode: The Great Check-Splitting Debate: Should everyone pay equally when one person ordered considerably more?The Late Friend Rule: How late is too late for a dinner reservation?Tipping in 2026: Is 20% still a good tip—or are expectations getting out of control?Sending Food Back: When you absolutely should—and when you probably shouldn't.Who’s Responsible When Dinner Goes Wrong: The server, the kitchen...or you?Phones at the Table: Harmless habit or the death of human conversation?Kids in Restaurants: What parents owe the other people trying to enjoy their dinner.The “When Harry Met Sally” Problem: How many substitutions are too many?Shared Appetizer Politics: Do you have to pay if you didn't eat any?Double-Dipping: Somehow we still need to discuss this.The Last Slice Rule: Can you just take it—or must you offer it around first?Ordering Right Before Closing: Technically legal. Morally questionable.Canceling Reservations at the Last Minute: Acceptable or unforgivable?Bringing Your Own Birthday Cake: Celebration...or restaurant faux pas?And the restaurant behavior that may tell you everything you need to know about a person: how they treat the staff.Along the way, Tomas recounts an extraordinary example of hospitality at Gramercy Tavern, Phil draws on his years working in restaurants, and both men slowly confront an uncomfortable possibility: They may be turning into the two old guys from The Muppet Show. So grab a table, put your phone away, don't steal the restaurant's pen and for the love of God, don't eat all the cheese off the nachos. Listen now to The Jocular Pugilists and decide for yourself: Which restaurant rules are legitimate etiquette—and which ones are just two increasingly cranky men yelling at the dining room? Let us know what you think. Email Phil or Tomas at:  [email protected] And check out our website at: thejocularpugilists.com

Groceries. Housing. Insurance. Taxes. It seems like everything costs more—and everyone has an explanation for why. But what if we’re diagnosing the problem with the wrong data? In this episode, we dig into some of the most popular claims about CEO pay, worker wages, productivity, corporate profits, and stock buybacks. We look at how perfectly real statistics can be cherry-picked or framed to tell a misleading story—and how a bad diagnosis can lead to even worse economic prescriptions. The cost-of-living problem is real. The question is: Do we actually understand what’s causing it? Let us know what you think. Email Phil or Tomas at:  [email protected] And check out our website at: thejocularpugilists.com

We love a good comeback story. Rocky gets knocked down? We’re cheering for him to get back up. But when someone hurts us? Suddenly, redemption gets a whole lot more complicated. This week on The Jocular Pugilists, Phil and Tomas tackle the messy, uncomfortable question: Does everyone deserve a second chance? From friendships and family to bosses, employees, celebrities—and even ourselves—the Pugilists debate where forgiveness ends and good judgment begins. Along the way, they get into: Why forgiving someone doesn’t mean forgetting what happenedThe difference between a real apology and the infuriating “I’m sorry you feel that way”When a mistake deserves forgiveness—and when it starts revealing someone’s characterWhy changed behavior matters more than wordsWhether you can love someone and still decide they don’t belong in your inner circleWhy disagreement doesn’t have to destroy a friendshipThe surprisingly difficult question of giving yourself another chanceWhether we can—or should—separate the artist from the artMel Gibson, Michael Jackson, Kevin Spacey, Johnny Depp, Eric Clapton and the complicated world of celebrity redemptionBecause second chances probably shouldn’t be automatic. Let us know what you think. Email Phil or Tomas at:  [email protected] And check out our website at: thejocularpugilists.com

From The Jocular Pugilists Archives Phil ran into some technical issues this week, so we’re reaching back into the archives to bring you one of our favorite conversations. Whether you’re hearing it again or discovering it for the first time, we hope you enjoy it. When is honesty helpfuly, and when does it do more harm than good? If you have a friend who’s become arrogant—or maybe you’ve wondered if you’re the one who needs the reality check—this episode explores the fine line between loyalty, honesty, and knowing when to speak up. Tomas and Phil share stories, debate the best approach, and ask whether telling a friend the truth can strengthen a friendship… or end it. It’s one of our favorite evergreen conversations, and it’s just as relevant today as when we first recorded it. Let us know what you think. Email Phil or Tomas at:  [email protected] And check out our website at: thejocularpugilists.com

We're constantly told that technology is making us lonelier, more distracted, and less connected. But is that the whole story? In this episode of The Jocular Pugilists, Tomas and Phil explore the other side of the conversation. From sharing life's everyday moments with family across town or across the world to reconnecting with old friends, discovering new communities, and staying close to loved ones through photos, video calls, and instant communication, technology has also brought us together in ways that were once unimaginable. Yes, there are downsides—but what if we've been overlooking one of the greatest benefits of the digital age? Join us for an optimistic conversation about the apps, devices, and innovations that don't replace human connection—they help create it. Let us know what you think. Email Phil or Tomas at:  [email protected] And check out our website at: thejocularpugilists.com

Nearly 50 years later, Rocky still inspires audiences around the world—not because Rocky Balboa wins, but because he refuses to quit. In this episode of The Jocular Pugilists, Phil and Tomas dive deep into the film that changed Sylvester Stallone's life and became one of Hollywood's greatest underdog stories. From Stallone refusing to sell his script unless he starred in it, to the guerrilla filmmaking techniques that created iconic scenes, they unpack why Rocky remains a cinematic masterpiece. But this conversation goes beyond movie trivia. They explore the emotional core of Rocky, the Hero's Journey, the unforgettable relationship between Rocky and Adrian, Burgess Meredith's incredible performance as Mickey, and why modern movies rarely capture the same authenticity. If you've ever cheered for an underdog—or found yourself tearing up during Rocky's final fight—this episode is for you. In this episode: • Why Rocky became the ultimate underdog story • The incredible true story behind Sylvester Stallone writing the script in just days • Why Stallone turned down hundreds of thousands of dollars to protect his vision • How Rocky changed the image of Italian-Americans in Hollywood • Hidden filmmaking secrets behind the famous training montage • Why Rocky losing the fight actually makes the movie better • The emotional genius of the final scene • The Hero's Journey and why Rocky still resonates today • Rocky vs modern superhero films • Our favorite moments, performances, and behind-the-scenes stories Whether you're a lifelong Rocky fan or discovering the film for the first time, this conversation celebrates one of cinema's greatest achievements. Let us know what you think. Email Phil or Tomas at:  [email protected] And check out our website at: thejocularpugilists.com

The Next Chapter A trip to Savannah turned into something neither of us expected. Watching Gabriel begin his journey at SCAD and prepare for his solo trip to Japan made us realize that one of life’s greatest challenges isn’t change itself—it’s learning to embrace it. As parents, we spend years teaching our children to become independent, but no one tells you how bittersweet it feels when that day finally arrives. This week, we explore the seasons of life, why every new chapter requires letting go of the last one, and how growth often means saying goodbye—not with sadness, but with gratitude. Whether you’re watching your children grow up, changing careers, moving to a new place, or simply entering a new stage of life, this conversation is about recognizing when it’s time to stop holding on and start looking forward. Sometimes the hardest part of life isn’t turning the page. It’s realizing you’re already in the next chapter. Let us know what you think. Email Phil or Tomas at:  [email protected] And check out our website at: thejocularpugilists.com

Journey, Styx, Hall & Oates, ABBA, Toto, Billy Idol, Foreigner, Steely Dan, John Williams, Bugs Bunny classical music—nothing is safe when The Jocular Pugilists take on the hilarious shame and secret joy of guilty pleasure music. In this episode, Phil and Tomas confess the songs, bands, riffs, ballads, and movie scores they once hid from friends but still can’t bring themselves to turn off. From polished ’80s pop and yacht rock to prog, classic rock, arena anthems, shred guitar, and cartoon-fueled classical music appreciation, the guys unpack why musicians can be the harshest judges—and why great songs don’t always need to be “cool” to be unforgettable. A witty, nostalgic, and musically nerdy conversation about taste, embarrassment, production, guilty pleasures, and the earworms that win no matter how hard we fight them. Let us know what you think. Email Phil or Tomas at:  [email protected] And check out our website at: thejocularpugilists.com

Every year, millions of people ask the same question: Where should I live? Whether it’s rising housing costs, changing tax laws, remote work, natural disasters, healthcare, or simply the feeling that there might be a better life somewhere else, more people than ever are rethinking where they call home. But we think most people are asking the wrong question. Instead of searching for the “best” state or country, we’re introducing a new way to think about it: The Life ROI Index. In this episode, we explore the real factors that determine quality of life—not just cost of living. We discuss financial freedom, taxes, healthcare, safety, climate, culture, community, housing, and even how emerging technologies like AI and robotics may reshape where it makes sense to live over the next decade. From Florida to Portugal, Japan to Italy, we’ll examine the strengths and tradeoffs of some of the world’s most desirable places to live, while challenging the idea that there’s one perfect destination for everyone. The goal isn’t to find the cheapest place to live. The goal is to find the place that gives you the greatest return on your life. Let us know what you think. Email Phil or Tomas at:  [email protected] And check out our website at: thejocularpugilists.com

The Jocular Pugilists take an international field trip to Budapest, where the water comes in shot glasses and the showers require an instruction manual. Fresh off a work trip to the Hungarian capital, the crew gets into Budapest’s Buda-versus-Pest personality split, Danube views, towering history, weirdly efficient yellow-cab Ubers, and the terrifying math of paying 5,000 forints for a salad. There is also a crash course in Pálinka—the 50% alcohol “finish it or we’re enemies” drink—and a Hungarian word for kisses that Americans should absolutely approach with caution. Plus: the history of a city in turmoil, why Budapest is becoming a serious production hub, how Dune made Hungary look like Arrakis, and whether a person could realistically trade Los Angeles prices for a year in one of Europe’s most beautiful cities. In this episode:  Budapest travel stories: solo walking, safety, food, tipping, currency, and culture shock  Buda vs. Pest: castles, commerce, hills, history, and the Danube in between  The hotel shower that nearly became an athletic event  A suspiciously empty restaurant, two shaved-head guys, and a salad worth paying cash for  Pálinka etiquette: 50% alcohol and zero room for interpersonal beef  Why “puzzi puzzi” does not mean what American ears initially fear  Budapest’s World War II, Soviet-era, and post-communist history  George H. W. Bush’s unexpected Budapest cameo Dune, Origo Studios, production incentives, and why filmmakers keep looking toward Hungary  The case for moving abroad—or at least putting Budapest on the travel list before your next Volvo service appointmentLet us know what you think. Email Phil or Tomas at:  [email protected] And check out our website at: thejocularpugilists.com