Advertise on podcast: Restorative Grief with Mandy Capehart

"We need to live in a culture that supports that instead of running away from it." What happens when we stop treating grief as something to overcome and start treating it as something worthy of our attention, care, and community? In today's episode, I'm joined by journalist, essayist, and author s.e. smith, whose book All My Dead Cats and Other Losses: Practicing Good Grief in a Culture That Fears Mourning invites us into a larger conversation about loss, mourning, and the ways our culture often struggles to make space for grief. Together, we explore why grief is not a problem to solve, how disenfranchised grief leaves so many people feeling unseen, and what becomes possible when we build communities that can tolerate discomfort instead of rushing people toward resolution. This conversation is thoughtful, honest, and deeply compassionate. Whether you're grieving a person, a pet, a relationship, a former version of yourself, or a loss that others don't fully understand, I think you'll find something here that helps you feel a little less alone. In this episode, we talk about: Why pet loss can open the door to larger conversations about griefWhat disenfranchised grief really meansHow our culture teaches us to avoid discomfort and mourningThe importance of being witnessed in griefWhy grief is not something we fix or completeCommunity as a vital part of mourningThe losses we often overlook or minimizeWhat a more grief-literate culture could look like Links + Resources from this episode: Snag a copy of All My Dead CatsSubscribe to s.e.'s newsletterLearn more about their workConnect with s.e. smith on BlueskyLearn more about Restorative Grief at MandyCapehart.com/coaching

"The laundry was never the problem. The laundry was a reflection of something else." We often expect grief to break our hearts. We don't expect it to disrupt our routines. In this solo episode, I explore one of the most common and misunderstood experiences of loss: the way grief changes our capacity for everyday life. From forgotten appointments to overflowing laundry baskets, grief has a way of showing up in the ordinary rhythms that once felt automatic. Together, we'll look at what science tells us about grief and executive functioning, why routines can feel so difficult after loss, and the restorative grief question at the center of it all: How do I care for myself when my capacity is not what it used to be, not what I wish it were, and not what the world expects it to be? In this episode, we talk about: Why grief affects more than our emotionsThe connection between grief, brain fog, and executive functioningWhat routines can teach us about capacityWhy ordinary tasks become harder after lossTaking morality out of self-care and daily responsibilitiesThe difference between returning to normal and practicing restorationBuilding supportive rhythms for the life you're living now Links + Resources from this episode: Restorative Grief: Embracing Our Losses Without Losing Ourselves by Mandy CapehartMary-Frances O'Connor's The Grieving BrainRestorative Grief Coaching & Resources at MandyCapehart.com

"You can't solve uncertainty, but you can empower people with tools and information to navigate it." What happens when grief, illness, caregiving, or unexpected change disrupt the life you thought you'd have? Dr. Lucy McBride, physician, patient advocate, and author of Beyond the Prescription, joins me for a conversation about health, uncertainty, and the difference between agency and control. We explore how grief reshapes our relationship with our bodies, why health is about more than symptoms and lab results, and what it means to care for ourselves when certainty isn't available. Lucy also shares how the sudden loss of her brother Harry influenced her understanding of impermanence and helped shape the framework at the heart of her work. In this episode, we talk about: Grief and uncertainty as part of the human experienceThe Five-Step Framework from Beyond the PrescriptionThe Four I's model and understanding health in contextGrieving the loss of former identities, abilities, and futuresPatient personalities and our search for certaintyThe difference between agency and controlAsking for help without losing yourselfAcceptance, resilience, and living forward after loss Links + Resources from this episode: Beyond the Prescription by Dr. Lucy McBrideDr. Lucy McBride's websiteLucy's Substack, Are You Okay?Follow Dr. Lucy McBride on social media

"Grief does not require us to become less independent. It gives us an opportunity to become less alone." If you grew up a little feral and learned early how to take care of yourself, grief can create an unexpected challenge: learning how to receive care without feeling like you've lost yourself. In this solo episode, I explore the tension between self-reliance and connection, why grief often changes our relationships, and how restorative grief invites us to build a life that reflects who we are becoming, not who we were before loss. If you've ever struggled to ask for help, felt uncomfortable receiving support, or wondered how grief is reshaping what matters to you, this conversation is for you. In this episode, we talk about: Self-reliance, resilience, and their limitsThe difference between independence and isolationHow grief changes relationships and capacityReceiving care without betraying yourselfBuilding a life that fits who you are now Links + Resources from this episode: Become a Patron/Get the WorkbookConnect with Mandy about coachingFollow Mandy on Instagram/Threads

"When I began to recognize that one step forward, two steps back was part of the work, it was part of the process." What if the moments that feel like setbacks aren't signs you're grieving wrong? In today's conversation, I'm joined by Dr. Jennifer Dall, a grief-informed neurodivergence specialist, educator, ADHD coach, and founder of ADHD Holistically. Together, we explore the intersection of grief, widowhood, ADHD, identity shifts, and the everyday realities of carrying loss while still trying to function. We talk about grief brain, changing capacity, masking, self-compassion, and why so many people mistake overwhelm for personal failure. If you've ever wondered why simple tasks feel harder after loss, this conversation will help you feel a little less alone. In this episode, we talk about: Grief brain and everyday overwhelmThe overlap between grief and neurodivergenceWidowhood and identity shiftsMasking and feeling unseenThe hidden labor that comes with lossChanging capacity and self-compassionWhy setbacks are part of the processWhat restoration can look like after lossLinks + Resources from this episode: Dr. Jennifer Dall, ADHD HolisticallyCurveball Press & Space to GrieveFollow Mandy⁠ on Instagram⁠Become a Patron!

“We accidentally communicate that their feelings are something to be argued with instead of something to be witnessed.” What do you do when someone you love says something that makes you wonder if they might be suicidal? Most of us were never taught how to have this conversation. We’re afraid of saying the wrong thing, making things worse, or asking too directly. In this episode, we talk about how to stay present, why asking directly about suicide matters, how to listen without trying to fix, and what a safety plan can offer when things feel overwhelming. You don’t need perfect words. You need a willingness to stay. In this episode, we talk about: How to ask directly about suicideWhat to say when someone is strugglingWhy connection matters more than fixingSafety planning and creating space for supportLetting go of shame around suicidal thoughts Links + Resources from this episode: Get Lisa Sugarman's book, Surviving: Finding Hope After Suicide LossDownload the free companion conversation guideBecome a Patron/Get the WorkbookLearn more about Restorative Grief and Enneagram CoachingConnect on Instagram/Threads

"No one is actually grading you on your grief." What if the pressure to be "strong" is keeping you from being honest about what grief actually feels like? Today's conversation is with Leslie Harter-Berg, author of You're So Strong: On Grief and Letting Go of My Favorite Compliment. After the sudden death of her husband, Ryan, Leslie found herself trying to live up to everyone's expectations of what a grieving person should look like, until she realized there was no right way to carry loss. If you've ever wondered whether you're grieving "correctly," I hope this conversation offers you permission to let that question go. In this episode, we talk about: Why "you're so strong" can become an impossible expectationLetting go of the idea that grief follows a predictable timelineHow grief shows up in ordinary moments instead of dramatic onesRedefining strength after profound lossWhy failure isn't the opposite of healingThe importance of simply showing up for grieving peopleFood, hospitality, and caring for one another through everyday ritualsLeslie's collaboration with her sister Natalie and The Modern Proper on supporting grieving families Links + Resources from this episode: You're So Strong: On Grief and Letting Go of My Favorite Compliment by Leslie Harter-BergLeslie Harter-Berg: https://www.leslieharterberg.com/Leslie's Substack: https://leslieharterberg.substack.com/Casserole Core with Natalie Mortimer and The Modern ProperVids for Wids: https://vidsforwids.com/Join the Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/mandycapehart

"Maybe that is what these seasonal transitions are really offering us. Not a chance to get back to normal, but a chance to become more honest about what is changing." What if some of the grief in your life is coming from a transition you actually wanted? In this episode, we are talking about the grief that can show up when life changes, even when the change is exciting or necessary. Sending a kid to college, moving, changing jobs, leaving a community, or simply becoming someone new can bring a surprising amount of grief with it. We look at Francis Weller's idea of the descent, what our bodies can tell us during seasons of change, and why we do not have to rush ourselves into whatever comes next. I also share two simple rituals for marking transitions and making a little more room for what we are feeling. In this episode, we talk about: Transitional grief and why we often miss itWhy wanted changes can still hurtFrancis Weller's idea of the descentListening to your body during changeWhy we need other people when life is shiftingTwo simple rituals for marking a transitionMaking room for the in-between Links + Resources from this episode: Become a Patron!Connect with Mandy on InstagramLearn more about coachingGet a copy of Apprenticeship with Sorrow by Francis Weller

"Living a full life, living a beautiful life, means learning how to carry grief." What if grief isn't something we're meant to get over, but something we're meant to learn how to carry? In today's episode, I'm joined by therapist and author Margaret Bryden to explore the intersection of grief, creativity, and the healing power of honest expression. Margaret's upcoming book, How I Understand It: A Bad Poet's Guide to Mental Health and Resilience, offers a refreshing invitation to set aside perfection and discover how writing can help us better understand ourselves and our experiences. In this episode, we talk about: Why grief is an inevitable part of living a full lifeHow "bad poetry" helps quiet perfectionism and self-criticismTurning grief into something tangible we can hold and understandThe role of creativity in restoring agency after lossWhy many people feel pressure to perform griefNarrative authority and reclaiming ownership of your storyThe connection between poetry, self-awareness, and healingWhy resilience is learning how to love differentlyHow creative expression reduces isolation and fosters connectionA simple way to begin writing, even if you've never considered yourself creative Links + Resources from this episode: Buy Margaret's bookConnect with Margaret onlineFollow her on InstagramBecome a PatronLearn more about Restorative Grief

“I’m fine” is often less a truth and more a reflex that pulls us away from what we actually feel. What if that phrase is quietly shaping how you move through grief, stress, and relationship without you realizing the cost? Beneath it, self-abandonment can start to look like stability. Today’s conversation explores what I’m calling high-functioning grief; the kind that runs underneath daily life while everything still looks “fine” on the outside. We look at how this pattern shows up in the nervous system, why grief often hides inside functioning and responsibility, and what it means to stop overriding yourself and come back into contact with your inner experience. In this episode, we talk about: High-functioning grief in everyday lifeWhy “I’m fine” becomes a reflexGrief hidden inside functioning and responsibilityNervous system patterns of self-abandonmentComing back into contact with yourselfHow honesty shifts relationships Links + Resources from this episode: Get Anne Lamott’s book, Almost EverythingBecome a PatronConnect with MandyLearn more about Restorative Grief

“The invitation has always been towards a descent.” Grief is a core human faculty that requires skill development rather than simply passing through. This week, we’re exploring these skills through the lens of an apprenticeship of sorrow with author and teacher Francis Weller. Francis’ work invites us to consider the necessarily communal reality of grief work and in this conversation, we also covered practical advice for those struggling with acute grief, too. In this episode, we talk about: ​Grief as a communal human faculty​The value of community support in our grief work​The expression of vulnerability​Collective ritual practices​Balancing grief and gratitude​Embracing the darkness​Acknowledging and pursuing primary satisfactions for grounding Links + Resources from this episode: ​FrancisWeller.net​Learn more about Restorative Grief Coaching​Become a Patron/Get the workbook​Follow Mandy on Instagram

"Gratitude does not require us to appreciate suffering. Sometimes gratitude simply invites us to notice what is present alongside suffering." What if gratitude was never meant to replace grief, but to sit beside it? In this episode, I'm sharing the story of one of my last visits with my grandfather before his death and exploring why gratitude and grief are not opposites. Together, we'll talk about anticipatory grief, why gratitude is so often used to bypass sorrow, and a simple restorative practice I return to on the days when hope feels far away. In this episode, we explore: Why gratitude and grief can coexistAnticipatory grief and grieving before deathThe difference between gratitude and toxic positivityA simple trauma-informed restorative practice for difficult daysHow grief can deepen our capacity for gratitudeLinks + Resources from this episode: Join the Restorative Grief CommunityBecome a PatronSubscribe to the Restorative Grief NewsletterWork with Mandy

"Most of us spend far more of our lives in the middle than we expect." What happens when grief is not tied to a single event, but to a season of becoming? Today, I'm joined by writer and author Adriel Booker, whose newest book, Tethered to Hope, explores the liminal spaces of life. Those moments when something has ended, something else is beginning, and we find ourselves navigating uncertainty, identity shifts, questions of faith, and the grief that often accompanies change. Together, we explore what it means to live in those in-between spaces with honesty and compassion. Rather than rushing toward resolution, Adriel invites us to consider how hope can remain present even when clarity is not. If you've ever felt suspended between what was and what comes next, this conversation offers language, companionship, and permission to remain present to your own unfolding. In this episode, we talk about: What liminal spaces are and why they matterThe grief that accompanies change and transitionIdentity shifts after lossFaith, doubt, and living with unanswered questionsHope without certaintyLearning to remain present during seasons of becomingThe difference between resolution and transformation Links + Resources from this episode Adriel Booker's websiteTethered to HopeAdriel's SubstackRestorative Grief Community & ResourcesBecome a Patron!

What if the small, everyday signals you’re ignoring are actually wake-up calls from your grief? In this episode we talk about how grief doesn’t always show up in big, obvious ways. Sometimes it shows up as irritation, loss of motivation, dreaming of a different life, or even constant planning. We break down nine common emotional and physical signals you might be brushing off and explore how you can respond with simple, restorative actions instead of pushing them aside. We also walk through three practical ways to interrupt old patterns and begin healing: with presence, expression, and intentional choice. Links + Resources from this episode: MandyCapehart.com/coachingBecome a Patron!Connect with Mandy on InstagramProgressive Muscle Release Practice

"Grief isn't always about losing what was. Sometimes it's grieving what you thought would be." What happens when grief collides with personality, parenting, and identity? Today I'm joined by Enneagram teacher, author, and Type-ish founder Tyler Zach for a conversation about infertility, adoption, parenting through unexpected challenges, and the grief of letting go of the futures we imagined. Together, we explore how personality shapes the way we grieve, why loss often looks different inside relationships, and what it means to honor grief without trying to fix it. In this episode, we talk about: How personality shapes the grieving processInfertility, adoption, and parenting through lossGrieving unmet expectations for ourselves and our childrenShame, achievement, and the Type 3 experienceIdentity shifts and leaving ministryWhy grief looks different for different peopleWhat it means to let go and move forward with honestyLinks + Resources from this episode: Learn more about Type-ish: https://www.typeish.com/Buy a copy of Tyler's booksFollow Mandy on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mandycapehartBecome a Patron / Get the Workbook: https://www.patreon.com/mandycapehart