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Hey everyone! Welcome back to the Sonia and Carolyn Podcast.  Today we're gonna talk about taking action. How can we actually bridge the gap in our relationships? We take action by speaking up, by being honest and asking for what we need. Let's get closer with each other and make this happen! We are so excited to launch Bridging The Gap which will begin on July 19.  We will meet every Tuesday for 4 week, so if you and your person are ready to take action and bridge your gap e-mail us!  Oh and if you put PODCAST in the subject line you will get 50% off the registration fee xo Carolyn and Sonia xo --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/soniaandcarolyn/support

WHAT DO YOU BOTH NEED RIGHT NOW? When we ask for what we need its important to recognize the place you’re in right at that moment. The pressing need will allow a pathway for other needs to be discussed at a latter time. Meaning, if intimacy is the most pressing need then the conversation can start out with the level of commitment and accountability needed from both parties for that connection. Maybe, the answer is be intentional and to not over think having sex. If we have to start some where, then have sex and ask questions later. This sounds good to me right at this moment. Again, being in action. The point here is to understand without a doubt that each person is just as important as the other in a relationship. We are always worth everything we ask for. Remember that asking is the action step here and that’s important. Should we expect every item on our list to be fulfilled all at once? No, but its definitely a start in the right direction. The bottom line is that if we never ask the question then the answer will always be NO! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/soniaandcarolyn/support

What does it take to get your person to listen to you? For Sonia, making eye contact is a way that let’s her know she is being heard. For others, it may be repeating back what is being said and so on. The question is what are you use to hearing versus what are you currently hearing in that moment. Ask yourself; ‘am I being present, am I listening?’ Often, we hear what sounds familiar and assume what the other person is going to say. But, how many times did you assume wrong? It happens because we are not truly listening in the moment. What happens when we feel that we are not being heard? We tend to talk louder thinking the words will sink in better. Well, we know that only leads to a shouting match and no one wins. Not that we are keeping score here. The fix is to listen with new ears and don’t assume. Be patient and be open to the conversation. I promise, the conversation will go smoother. Make it a point to know what type of communicator your person is; ‘A story teller’ or a ‘just the facts ma’am’ type. Make space to listen to the person you LOVE. Effective communication is important in a relationship. Seriously, if you want to be heard then learn to be a good listener. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/soniaandcarolyn/support

Share Fears? Be vulnerable? Yes, yes, and yes. We all have a level of fear because we are humans and we can't change that no matter how hard we try to pretend. The fact of the matter is that it's okay to be fearful because there are things to be fearful for. Specifically in a realationship we fear how the other person is going to receive, react or run when we share our fears with them. Just remember they are intitled to their feelings, thoughts and actions. Its what you decide to do together that matters once the fears are shared.  The upside to sharing our fears is that no matter the action from the other person it is indeed an action and now you actually have a direction in which to address the issue. Also, honor their fears. But what if, the fear you feared the most was merely an assumption because you took it upon yourself to think for your partner?  One very important lesson Carolyn and I learned early in our relationship was to allow each other to be responsible for our own actions, feelings and fears. Never to assume how the other is going to react to a certain situation, suggestions or a needed change. When it happens we remind each other by saying; "Get out of my head." (lovingly of course) It's a quick reminder and we move on.  This practice foster's a positive environment for each of us to not be fearful to talk, ask or suggest anything regarding our intimate relationship or work relationship.  Fearful or not, sharing is absolutely the best way to build trust when you are vulnerable with your partner.  XO Sonia & Carolyn Join our FB Community: Hey, Sonia & Carolyn Check out our website: SoniaandCarolyn.com Email us at: [email protected] --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/soniaandcarolyn/support

BE HONEST Meaning that being honest starts with self. The reasoning is that if we believe ourselves to be honest then others will too. Being honest about who you are and what you need in a relationship is crucial. We also have to remember that our words need to match our actions. With that being said, if you honestly want certain things to change in your relationship then mirror those wants with actions to reach that change. Make them attainable as so to not set yourself or your partner up for failure. Keep your promises and don’t make excuses. One important key that we have known to work for us is to not exaggerate. Say what is true to you, especially when it comes to your own feelings. Meaning, don’t stretch the true for attention or worse sympathy. Again, just be honest. Honesty is usually at the top of the list when we look for traits in a person. So, its our responsibility to be accountable for ourselves even when its difficult.   xo Sonia & Carolyn Join our FB Community: Hey, Sonia & Carolyn Check out our website: SoniaandCarolyn.com Email us at: [email protected] --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/soniaandcarolyn/support

Sonia and I want to wish all the mom's a Happy Mother's Day so in this episode we talk about Mom's.  All kinds of mom's from birth mom's, to bonus mom's and mom's of choice.  Each mom brings something special to the lives of those she touches.  However we want to recognize that being a mom is not the only roll that women play.   In our relationship we have learned to celebrate each other for all that we bring into our relationship, family, and all that we do outside of the home as students, friends, employee's, business owners and beyond. So today we celebrate YOU as a mom and so much more! Celebrating enriches our lives, stops us from focusing on the negative, and empowers us to notice what others see in us.  So Celebrate all you are, and all you bring into every aspect of your life on top of being a mom xo Carolyn and Sonia xo --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/soniaandcarolyn/support

Here's a great definition for being confident that we found in a google search. I really like this. Confidence means: feeling sure of yourself and your abilities — not in an arrogant way, but in a realistic, secure way. Confidence isn't about feeling superior to others. It's a quiet inner knowledge that you're capable. We are so capable of doing everything anything we desire. With that being said, we're confident already. Meaning, learning and knowing a skill set builds our confidence level. Knowing self, improving our weaknesses and capitalize on our strengths.  As children, we are either supported or not with our confidence. Meaning, 'Don't climb that because you will get hurt.' How about allowing one to explore what they are capable of on their own. This helps to build a positive confidence level.  Confidence to me is a practicing skill for gaining knowledge and being secure in knowing what you are capable of doing.    What is your confience level in your life? How do you improve on your confidence daily?  Share your secret sauce with us and the community. Be bold, be confident!  --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/soniaandcarolyn/support

Life is shaped from the inside out. Meaning, we spend our lives being influenced by first our parents, siblings, school mates, friends and hero's. Eventually, we develop our individual identity, well most of us do.  Carolyn and I grew up in the 70's/80's and so our influences came to us via school yard, television, and people we met face to face. We didn't have the social media connection that is available today.  How does social media affect how we shape our life today? Its instant! Today we have Instagram, Tic-Tok, Youtube, FB, twitter, and a host of individuals that post daily with their own unique brands. Basically, there's a plethora of ways to be easily influenced to live a certain lifestyle or be a certain type of person. In my opinion this makes it a challenge for us to be ourselves fear of not leveling up to others on social media creating an illusion of epic living! Listen in as Carolyn and I discuss the changes from time we grew up to the now. Leave us comments and/or share what you believe is different today as far as influences that keep us from being our own.   'Be yourself, because everyone else is taken'   --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/soniaandcarolyn/support

Contemplation or Lack of Motivation, Which is it? The answer will come once you take the time to differentiate between the both. For me, I was feeling unmotivated for the past few weeks but now that I think about it, it was more of deep contemplation for a re-direct for our business and more specifically my photography strategy. Honestly, I was feeling unmotivated but digging deeper is was due to not knowing where to start up again now that we are taking a new approach with our business. The thing is, we take a deep breath and remember what our 'Why' was in the beginning of this whole journey. Its always a good place to start because its that 'Why' that got you started in the first place right?  The point is: Look at your 'Why' and remember what that was. Utilize your down time (contemplation/lack of motivation) how ever you title not being in action. And most importantly decide to get back in the game or not. We always have options to do what we want to do. We hope you decide what's best for you and those closes to you. Until then keep exploring your world! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/soniaandcarolyn/support

When we lose our motivation it takes a minute or two to get back in the game. It's especially important to get back in the game when others are dependent on you. However, what we discovered in this episode are steps to get motivated and the right words to encourage each other.  It's good to take a break to evaluate, reflect and prioritize as necessary from time to time. Whether the cause is from a lack of motivation or a need to redirect. The point is to find your motivation and get back in the game.   --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/soniaandcarolyn/support

Have you ever had a bad day? Of course you have, we've all had a bad day. It would be like asking if you breath. The point being here is that we do have bad days, and we lash out to the people closes to us. Why is that? For me Sonia, Carolyn is the one person I spend almost 100% with so its inventible that she would  be there to witness to my bad day. It's not personal and this is a point I Sonia would like to drive home in this episode. The other point is that if we are having a bad day the whole world doesn't have to have one with you! Did you hear me? Your bad day is not sharable unless the other person agrees to be misarable with you. Consent to be misable and if this will help the other person. Carolyn and I have learned over the years to give each other space when we are not feeling out of sorts. I, Sonia have learned to look inward and basically do some deep self talk to figure my out of sorts feeling.  It's my own process that works the majority of the time.  Carolyn has learned not to take things personal when I get in a funk mood because it's not about her, its about me and my Funk. The best advice we have for everyone, if you chose to accept it is to know yourself well enough to do one or two or three things:  -Give yourself space and ask others to give you the same space you need to brew in your own funk.  -Figure our a process that works for you. Ex: self-talk, distraction by going somewhere you enjoy, or spend time alone to think things through -Acknowledge that you are having a bad day and let others know as well so they can chose to run far away until you are okay (LOL)  -Don't take it out on those you Love. The day will end and you get to start all over again.  --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/soniaandcarolyn/support

I choose me first, even when you disagree. This is so true and it works! We have come a long way baby!  In many of our conversations I'm first to say, Me First and not feel guilty in any way. Its self love and not selfish. Have you heard of this? Now is the time to really think about it. When we take care of ourselves everything and everyone will fall right in place.   A good example of this is when we are about to take flight and the flight attendant says to the adults to dawn there oxygen mask first then the childs. This makes sense. You couldn't possibly be of any help to your child if you are struggling to breath. It really is that simple. When we are fully charged and ready to go then we are very capable to help others if that's what needs to be done. Not only are we ready but now we are setting the standard for those who follow or are watching us. Do it for YOU first. In our twenty years together, Carolyn and I have learned to respect ourselves and eachother for the needs we both require and/or demand in our lives together and as individuals.  A clear line makes situations and living together less complicated most of the time.  I say most of the time only because lets face it, we are humans and as humans we make mistakes all the time. My point is to take care of yourself first because honestly, no one else will do a better job than you. Who knows you better? YOU  Who knows what you want? YOU It comes down to taking responsibility for yourself and not being dependant on others to do what is your job in the first place. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/soniaandcarolyn/support