Advertise on podcast: Hangin' Out with the Old Fellas

Barry states the obvious: we're all gunna die. Jerry states the even more obvious ... There's a tax for that. Yes, that's right - greedy bastards are everywhere. Thankfully, there's always Jerry's silver bullet. Right in ya ear.

It's all happening - all at once. Yes! Spindly Pines! Attrick-mania! Fritz on the turret! Can Barry and Jerry find an angle through it all? And seriously - what does it matter if they can't? We all come to the same end ... more or less. Only a couple of ultimate decisions to make: is there a God? Pine box or cardboard? And how much sedation is kosher?!

Ok - we 'fess up ... We've gone all Phil Spector! Without the murder conviction. Although, that seemed like a pretty good option. We go into the recording booth and some numpty's stolen the second microphone! It was probably Fritz on the Turret - he uses it for karaoke mime. So! Mono it is! I mean, it's a long way to the shop to buy a microphone! Cue the bagpipes, hangers!

Who woulda thought - five years got past and nobody noticed! Five years of pants-on-pants-off, denture ventures and getting the gravy to stick. A quick sports wrap, an exploding cetacean, followed by an eerie silence - the perfect podcast.

Yes! Alfred Hitchcock and Tippi Hedren were right! Just not about that. If only the mighty Albo had paid attention. Meanwhile, in New York, the unbridled bridal waltz continued. Break out the Spam!!! The Attrick body count rises. Jerry would be arrest but there's no constabulary left.

Eurovision! They'll let anyone in - Israel! Australia! Kazakhstan! Meryl Streep! This is your behind the screens lowdown on all your high-end Euro-skuttlebutt! What happens under the sequins - shall be exposed! Nothing left to the imagination. No wonder we're falling in love again!

Despite what the papers say ... Don't panic! Oh ok - just a bit. But if in the middle of the panic, you happen to win Powerball, remember it's often more trouble than it's worth. And as Frente always said - keep ya shoes on! Ummm - I think it was Frente ...

Fisticuffs in the Middle East?!!! A bit of Attrick diplomacy will fix it. Trouble with the wowsers at the bowsers? Send in the schnauzers! Abracadabra! Everything wrong is right again!

Ok Spiders - what did Episode 84 ever do to you? Well, whatever it was, the copyright crawlers didn't like it one byte! So, we remixed it, in a vain attempt to erase the offending naughtiness. Enjoy this, our second try at getting Ep 84 into your earbuds. Help me, Obi Won Kenobe! You're my only hope!

From one April fool to another - Barry and Jerry are up to their old Attricks. Dead celebrities everywhere - some making a comeback ... and that's no punking. Jerry had a personal emergency. But he made it out - with a bull clip in his back!

2025 - gone! Good thing too ... It was becoming a very ugly habit. And New Years are all about renouncing bad habits. To make way for even worse ones. Well, if you're short of a few nasty habits for the new year, look no further than the Attrick Empire. For example: Jerry's channeling the Skyliners, Don McLean and Art Garfunkel - all in one hit! You'll never get nastier than that!

We're putting some old bits of old fellas under the microscope. Pants down. Magnification up. Washed, pressed, folded and top drawer. The bits the judges liked until Barry fell off the catwalk. You know - that split second when you wobble on your high heels and you can't decide whether to attempt a spectacular recovery or just go with the plummet. Old bitz of Old Fellas - you just can't look away.

Hey! Remember those early episodes? Yeah - neither do we. But librarian went up into the attic and found these loose bits inside some old Lego boxes. Nurse Bukesham rescued a few used band aids out of the sick bay waste basket and stuck it all together. Headphones on. Earbuds in. Pants optional.

It's not pretty. It's not cuddly. It's not particularly photogenic. But enough about Jerry's mole. These are the off-cutz. From a year that produced its fair share, we can now reveal the bitz that didn't make it. The McMerkin Sisters retrieved random tapes from the waste paper, untangled them, tumbled them in the dryer, got the cat to eat and then extrude them, then they stuck 'em together with Perkins paste. A sumptuous school project that got a D minus and a place of pride on the fridge.

Another solar sojourn done. And guess what! We're back where we started. Wishing you a Jerry Barry Christmas. May your mistletoe bare fruit and multiply. May your Yuletide Pine be Spindly. And may 20-26 be full of Attricks. Yes - holiday idiots everywhere.