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In this Episode of Open Late, Drea reconnects with Jessica, the creator of the podcast! Jessica talks about her journey as a mother and the challenges and joys she has experienced. They also discuss the need for self-care and finding time for oneself amidst the demands of parenthood. The conversation touches on the dynamics of Jessica's relationship with her partner and the importance of keeping the spark alive. They also explore the topic of open relationships and the potential for sexual exploration. Jess also reveals that she is considering taking courses to stimulate her brain and potentially writing a book. She also announces that she will not be returning to host the podcast for the time being, but may consider coming back in the future. She shares her concerns about raising children in a poly household and the potential for outsiders to treat them differently. In the end, Jessica expresses her gratitude and love for the listeners and her excitement for what the future holds. In this Episode of Open Late: Becoming a Mother and the First Night with Twins Self-Care and Finding Time for Oneself Jess Open Relationship and Sexual Exploration Raising Children in a Poly Household Mentioned in This Episode: “Untrue” By Dr. Wednesday Martin: https://a.co/d/fTuD0j4 Connect With Jess: • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/journey.with.jessica/?hl=es Connect With Drea: • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/openlatethepodcast/  https://www.instagram.com/thedrearenee/  • Website:  https://www.openlatepodcast.com/  • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@openlatepodcast/videos 5:46 We set it up in a way that made us feel cozy, confident, like we had everything we needed. And that did nothing for the fact that you are so terrified when you bring your kids home for the first time. -Jessica Esfandiary 9:59 My interactions with anyone outside sort of my very inner circle have been very limited. Like I will go days, sometimes like weeks or maybe never texting somebody back. And I like feel bad a little bit, but I also don't have the capacity to think about that interaction or those feelings or that person because my life is so full on 24 seven. - Jessica Esfandiary 11:25 I think my perspective on the world has changed a lot too, being a parent, like I feel deeper for the problems of the world, like the children that are like, you know, traumatized or hurt or misplaced because of like all the war that's going on and happening in like so many different countries. - Jessica Esfandiary 22:28 And If you are having good sex, you probably are not on antidepressants. - Jessica Esfandiary 24:23 The interesting thing that I have found over the years when people are in disbelief about being open, it is mostly because in their experience on any long term relationship that they have ever been in, the spice dies, and the happiness generally fades, unless a couple find ways to become mutually excited about things. - Jessica Esfandiary 30:27 Some people will use a situation to sort of get unhealthy needs met, like people can come into non monogamy, in a way, because they have all these needs, and they're trying to meet them with like lots of different partners, you know, that's like a big intersection of love dependency or sex addiction and non monogamy. - Jessica Esfandiary 39:34 People get so stuck in their boxes, and I've done this too. And I think just being in our community has helped me so much, especially coming from Texas of all that you should, you're supposed to, you have to, and you really don't have to do anything. You can make your life how you want to make it. -Drea Renee 42:56 Do I have any concerns? I am kind of concerned that outsiders or society or teachers, other kids, might be awful to my children. - Jessica Esfandiary Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Open Late Quickie, Drea discusses the importance of taking responsibility for one's part in various situations. She emphasizes the need to look at how we show up and what we do in situations that cause discomfort or conflict. Drea explores the role of choices and communication in relationships and highlights the significance of recognizing mistakes and not giving too many chances. She also discusses the accountability in confusing situationships and the importance of stepping away from unfavorable situations. Take ownership, compartmentalize responsibility, and surround yourself with a supportive network. In this Episode of Open Late: The Importance of Choices and Communication in Relationships Overcomplicating Situations and Seeing the Good in People Taking Ownership and Separating Responsibility Self-Growth and Admitting Fault Connect with Drea: • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/openlatethepodcast/  https://www.instagram.com/thedrearenee/  • Website:  https://www.openlatepodcast.com/  • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@openlatepodcast/videos 2:18 When we are putting this towards the view of relationships, our choices that we make in the beginning are so important. The conversations that we're having are so important. Listening to what our partners are saying is so important, especially when things go sour and they don't work out and you look back and you think, hmm, what did they tell me? What did I ignore? How did I continue showing up? How is this person showing up for me? And this goes for all relationships - Drea Renee 3:02 I know it begins with understanding and realizing that we play a part in every situation or experience and have some degree of responsibility over the outcomes and consequences. - Drea Renee 7:05 But you got to take responsibility for looking at what part of your trauma, what part of your history, what part of your own self-worth, your self-esteem is allowing you to show up into situations that aren't serving you. - Drea Renee 11: 44 It will always go back to taking ownership for your part and also forgiving yourself - Drea Renee Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Drea discusses the importance of leaving closed doors closed and not obsessing over why they were closed. She emphasizes the need for closure and the desire to know why things happen. Drea explores the concept of running from ourselves and the various ways we try to fill the void within us. She also talks about the difficulty of focusing on ourselves and the tendency to focus on others instead. It's time to love and accept ourselves. In this Episode of Open Late: The Need for Closure The Answer is in the “No” Answer Acceptance, Self-Control and Respecting Ourselves Connect with Drea: • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/openlatethepodcast/  https://www.instagram.com/thedrearenee/  • Website:  https://www.openlatepodcast.com/  • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@openlatepodcast/videos 02:00 Running from ourselves. You want to run from yourself. Why would you want to deal with yourself? Right? Because that would be really confronting, and that's really scary for us. Right? It's easier just like in romantic relationships, just like in friendships, just like in family relationships, all the relationships, it's a lot easier to focus on others instead of focusing on yourself. -Drea Renee 2:07 Anything to keep us from ourselves so bringing that energy that we so freely give to others to ourselves is What we actually need to get to that next level of growth that next level of validation that we're seeking from everybody else and The core of it all is to give that love to yourself give that love to yourself. - Drea Renee 4:24 But I think there is this run towards this chasing, if you will, towards figuring out why they said it, how they said it, why are they not calling, and all the things. And it can be really easy to get caught up in that. And at the end of the day, this all comes down to control. We cannot control other people. - Dtea Renee 4:34 See this episode this open like quickie It's all about coming back to yourself and when those doors are closing for you. The universe wants to open other doors. It's hard as that is to believe. -Drea Renee 4:43 When you're looking for those answers, the answer is in the no answer. The answer, my friends, is in the no response in the text. The answer is the no invitation. Those are the answers. But a lot of times we get caught up in the why, why. And when you're focused on all of those things, you're just taking away energy from yourself, energy from yourself. - Drea Renee 09:17 I make a point to wake up and say, acceptance is the answer to all of my problems today. Because it is, it is, especially when I cannot control things. - Drea Renee Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Episode of Open Late, Drea interviews Cassandra House, a transformational coach that helps people Monetize Your Genius, about balancing a career and a marriage. They discuss the challenges they faced in past relationships, and the importance of conflict resolution in a marriage. Cassandra shares her personal journey of self-discovery and the role of childhood wounds in relationships, and the significance of maintaining self-care and boundaries in order to have a healthy and fulfilling marriage. They also talk about Cassandra's upcoming projects, including turning her show into a TV show and helping people monetize their genius. Cassandra shares her passion for helping others turn their ideas into fully functioning businesses and finding funding for inventions and entrepreneurial ventures. In this Episode of Open Late: Balancing Career and Marriage The Worthiness Wound and Relationships Self-Care and Boundaries Helping Others Monetize Their Genius: Finding Funding  Connect with Cassandra: • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cassandrahouse_/ https://www.instagram.com/iamcassandrahouse/ • Website: https://monetizeyourgenius.com/  Connect with Drea: • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/openlatethepodcast/  https://www.instagram.com/thedrearenee/  • Website:  https://www.openlatepodcast.com/  • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@openlatepodcast/videos 2:56 You don't just marry into like the neighborhood and your family's all around and it's all happy days. If there's a lot of distance has a lot of, you know, different things you've got to navigate together. - Cassandra House 5:23 Yes, I think Josh is the husband because he was the first one that didn't want to keep me small and he let me fly. - Cassandra House 14:57 I think my one of my biggest things is like an abandonment a fear of abandonment Which is probably why I dated so many people that weren't great because I didn't want to be alone, right? - Cassandra House 16:05 I think when you aren't emotionally evolved and you're walking around the world and you're unaware of how you're showing up to people, because I would go on dates with my seven-year-old self. I didn't go on my adult self. My seven-year-old was going on dates and she's like, hi, can you see me? - Drea Renne 16:58 I say like people are waiting for the wound to be away or gone or healed to move towards their dreams, but really anyone that's really successful it means that they've been able to operate and move towards their goals and dreams and love and all of that in spite of the wound. - Cassandra House 17: 05 Act in spite of the worthiness wound, not because of it. - Cassandra House  18: 58 I feel like when you're dating, you really are meeting at the worthiness wound level. Like it's that person's wounds are out, your wounds are out and you're sort of dancing with the wound in the middle. When you're married, you've got each other's wounds to deal with as well. So I'm always like, be really careful of the wound you want to take on because it becomes a part of what you deal with all the time. - Cassandra House 20: 57 I can be married and strive in my career. - Cassandra House 21:36 In business even tough you love it and you are all in, it will never fulfill you like marriage and love will. - Cassandra House  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Episode of Open Late, Drea connects with Michelle Murad to break down the perceptions surrounding the glamour and perfection often portrayed in the creative industry. With a deep-dive into mental health and the less visible realities behind the filtered lens of social media, the discussion turns to the ongoing struggle for those battling to maintain their personal brand in the authentic and vulnerable landscape of mental battles. They also shed light on the complexities of self-identity within social contexts, as individuals grapple with the balance between staying true to their core identity and adapting to fit in with societal and professional expectations. In this Episode of Open Late: Michelle's New Movement: “Behind the Smile” Reflections on Relationship Growth  Personal Growth - Speaking Mind to Everyone Our Subconscious Influences Social Media and Mental Health Mentioned in the Episode: Book “The Power of Your Subconscious Mind” https://www.amazon.com/Power-Your-Subconscious-Mind/dp/1614270198 Connect with Drea: • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/openlatethepodcast/  https://www.instagram.com/thedrearenee/  • Website:  https://www.openlatepodcast.com/  • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@openlatepodcast/videos Connect with Michelle Murad: • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelleamurad/  • YouTube “The Charlotte Chronicles”:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHku9ZdBEE47wU6GgUpEnxA 3: 34 And so I remember just looking at all these posts of people doing what I wanted to do, and I remember telling myself, when I get to that point in life, I will be honest that it's not perfect. - Michelle Murad 5: 56 I was looking, trying to show that, hey, even when you see a picture of someone or you see them doing whatever it is that you aspire to do, life is not exactly.That's their life. That's not your life. And I just want to make sure people know that we're all putting up a front on social media. - Michelle Murad 9: 46 Especially when we're in the process of growing and dealing with all of these things where we are hiding behind the smile and trying to show up for people as what they need and listening to what their feedback is about us and forgetting that when you are going to these relationships, you really have to have your own foundation. -Drea Renee  11:49 learning in relationships doesn't always have to be painful, it can be powerful, it can have a beautiful ending, it was sad, but it wasn't something toxic.- Drea Renee 13:11 You have the relationship, and then if things aren't working, caring about that person enough to be like, hey, we can part, but I don't hate you. We just don't vibe. I think that is, honestly, like you said, the true definition of love, where you're like, I love you enough to still want to see you thrive, still want to see you do great things. -Drea Renee  24:58 I attract people based of my authenticity and repel people that are not based of my authenticity because that's not my tribe . We are so afraid to not be liked, to not be invited its rooted in us that we are trying to rewire and reprogram - Michelle Murad 26: 35 I think what's important is to take up space and be yourself. And if that relationship doesn't allow it, that relationship is not for you. - Michelle Murad 29:56 I think such a good question to ask yourself. Anyone listening is like, if something is bringing you closer to your joy or your misery, like, everything we do, is it bringing you closer? Every single thing you do, is this bringing you closer to your goals and your joy? - Michelle Murad  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Episode of Open Late, Drea introduce you to Quené Forée: a remarkable personality with a wealth of professions. As an author, content creator and spiritual healer, Quené embodies the essence of living authentically and passionately. Join her today, as they unravel the concept of "staying wild at heart," which she lives by, signifying the power and significance of expressing oneself and extending our spirit to the world. Quené's journey is not an outward show; it's the profound journey of self-discovery that she embodies. Her infectious spirit of positivity and joy have dominated every space she steps in, which is evidenced in her work. Today, they dive deep into this journey, which is not just a journey of transformation but a message she lives and breathes, inspiring many to follow their hearts. In this Episode of Open Late: The importance of self-trust and instincts The concept of “marrying oneself” Boundaries for personal energy preservation Struggles with codependency in relationships: The “Broken Bird Syndrome”  Introduction to Quené's book "Spiritually LIT” Connect with Drea: • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/openlatethepodcast/  https://www.instagram.com/thedrearenee/  • Website:  https://www.openlatepodcast.com/  • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@openlatepodcast/videos Connect with Quené Forée: • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/queneforee?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== • P's and Q's Podcast:  https://psandqspodcast.buzzsprout.com/share • YouTube:  https://youtube.com/@PsandQs?si=Z6pztcAP7_BSSXvA •Book “Spiritually LIT”: https://amzn.to/3ROXDQt 3:27 But I have found that the more I practice that practice of saying no with love, of prioritizing my mental health, prioritizing my self-care, the more the people around me respect those boundaries. Because if you don't set the boundary, no one knows what your boundary is. - Quené Forée  4:29 The people who really care about you, they want you to be happy, they want you to be whole. They want you to feel good. And if you don't trust them with your truth, then you never give them the opportunity to support you in your truth. - Quené Forée  6:55 We'd be surprised how many things we're doing, thinking if we don't, the other person is going to be extraordinarily upset when that's not necessarily the case. We create a lot of stories on our own. We create a lot of outcomes in our mind that don't exist. - Quené Forée  16:13 And I think the beauty of relationships is that they offer you a mirror and an opportunity for your personal growth. They will shine light on your imperfections, on your insecurities, on your opportunities as well. And if we choose to take them, they can be a great place for exponential growth. - Quené Forée  19:00 But have we taken the time to make those promises to ourselves? And I think that's something that. You're your best friend. - Quené Forée  19:41 And that is how you build that self-esteem and that worth and that value system for yourself by keeping those promises to yourself, even if it's something as simple as I'm going to make my bed every single day this week. And what's so interesting about something so small like that is that you may think in your mind initially, oh, that's not that big of a deal. 19:58 But when you actually take the action to do it and you see how you feel, just like you took the steps to take those vows to Quené, and that was probably really transformative. - Drea Renee 37:14 You can say no, you can take care of yourself. Because the codependency isn't just stopping at romantic relationships. This goes over into friendships, too. - Drea Renee Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Episode of Open Late, Drea discusses the importance of believing people when they tell you who they are. She emphasizes the need to pay attention to red flags and not make excuses for someone's behavior. This principle applies not only to romantic relationships but also to friendships and family dynamics. Drea encourages listeners to cut toxic people out of their lives and surround themselves with supportive friends. By choosing their circle wisely, individuals can create healthier and more fulfilling relationships. In this Episode of Open Late: The Temptation to Change Someone Recognizing Red Flags in Relationships Choosing Your Circle Wisely Believing People When They Show You Who They Are Connect with Drea: • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/openlatethepodcast/  https://www.instagram.com/thedrearenee/  • Website:  https://www.openlatepodcast.com/  • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@openlatepodcast/videos 3:12 We all have to ask ourselves, how are people showing up for others? What information open did they give us in the beginning? Friendships to my friends and even with our family members. If we can take a look at patterns of how they've been showing up in their lives. 6:11 So when you were on your journey of dating someone, think about what are they saying to me? How are they talking about their past relationships? How are they speaking about their families? How are they speaking about their friends? These are things that we need to take note of when we are deciding if someone should be our partners 14:21 When you do meet somebody, that's your match. That is sometimes, especially for people that are coming from this long history of toxic relationships. It can be scary. It can be scary. But there is beauty and joy in having a healthy relationship. Someone who's communicating with you, someone who cares about your day, calling you back, texting you back, all those beautiful things communicating with you, showing you that you can be seen, that you can be seen. 15:21 So if you have low self-esteem, you believe you're not worth it, you're not worth being seen. Nine times out of ten, you are going to attract and entertain a person that's going to reinforce that belief system about yourself. So we have to get right within our own worthiness, our own value. 19:48 Believe them. Don't try to figure it out. Don't try to ask them why. Don't try to make excuses for their trauma. Don't say, it's because his mom did this or it's her dad left and then all the things. No, no, no. Believe them. And if they are not interested in healing these parts of themselves, it's going to come out and their relationship with you. 20:49 This is the place of love and acceptance. The Hot mess expresses the black sheets of love. You are welcome here.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Episode of Open Late, Drea focuses on the pain of loving the wrong person and the struggle of letting go. She discusses the science and chemical aspects of attachment and trauma bonding. Also, she emphasizes the importance of recognizing unhealed wounds and taking responsibility for one's part in unhealthy relationships. The roller coaster of unhealthy relationships and the attraction to chaos are explored. The episode also offers advice on seeking support, practicing self-care, expressing oneself, and journaling. The journey of healing and self-worth is highlighted, along with the importance of planting seeds for change and treating oneself well. In this Episode of Open Late: The Pain of Loving the Wrong Person Unhealed Wounds and Trauma Bonding The Roller Coaster of Unhealthy Relationships Support and Self-Care Support Group: Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (S.L.A.A.) https://slaafws.org/ Books: Love is a Choice https://a.co/d/50Y9mUG When You Love Too Much https://a.co/d/atg9Zci Connect with Drea: • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/openlatethepodcast/  https://www.instagram.com/thedrearenee/  • Website:  https://www.openlatepodcast.com/  • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@openlatepodcast/videos 5:58 If it's reinforcing the beliefs that you have about yourself, then you know, we're going to go towards it. And I can tell you, in my experience when I've had these moments in my life, I always knew in the beginning and I think there was a part of me, like I said before, that wanted to just run for myself and said, person gave me something to do, and I want to give grace to everyone that's in the beginning of this, or just kind of starting the awareness of these patterns in your life because this isn't a conscious thing. 10:12 That's the true LARC, love and relationship codependency aspect. That is it right there. It consumes everything. It's the first thing you think about. You know, you can't eat, you can't move, can't go to work, you can't do the things it's taking over your life. And I know what that's like. As I was on that journey, I definitely realized those moments where it was getting better, but I'm still in the throes of it. 11:22 I remember waking up and you just feel like and elephant is on your chest. Like taking a shower and just having the hardest cry of all time. And it seemed like that pain was just never, ever going to go away and your brain is just on loop, constantly trying to figure out how you got there, what happened, what you could have done differently 12:08 The rollercoaster can be exciting sometimes, right? You're up now down. They're telling you it's over. You're telling them it's over. You're back together. Nobody knows. But then it's like, Is that it? Is that your life? And I'm sure some of us have asked ourselves, are we ever going to be in a healthy place? 19:30 When you start engaging in those self esteem acts, that's when that stuff starts to change and it's organic. It's like when these things start to happen, you almost don't even know. What ends up happening Is those actions no longer feel in alignment in your self, which is growing. You want to find your power within yourself.  22:30 If you are experiencing that immense pain of letting someone go, you are not alone. And there are things that you can do to get yourself through this space in your life and just remember like it does not have to be perfect motion changes emotion 100%. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Episode of Open Late, Drea answers questions from listeners about love and relationship codependency. She shares her personal journey of becoming aware of codependency and the impact it had on her relationships. Drea also discusses the turning point and breakthrough moment she had with codependency, as well as how it affected her professional environment. She provides advice on establishing healthy boundaries, reclaiming independence in a relationship, addressing the fear of abandonment, and expressing needs without creating tension. There is hope for change, prioritize self-care and self-love always! In this Episode of Open Late: Becoming Aware of Codependency Impact on Professional Environment Establishing Healthy Boundaries and Reclaiming Independence  Expressing Needs Without Creating Tension Hope for Change Connect with Drea: • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/openlatethepodcast/  https://www.instagram.com/thedrearenee/  • Website:  https://www.openlatepodcast.com/  • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@openlatepodcast/videos 3:28 This shows up in work, relationships, this shows up in friendships, this shows up in even simply something as simple as the groceries .I don't want them to have to wait too long. If I'm looking for something in my purse, I'm always thinking about other people, always thinking about other people and putting myself on the back burner.  7:38 That was a big turning point for me because there was really a time and space where I felt really crazy in my behavior in that I was the only person in the world that was experiencing that. So that was a major turning point for me to go to those meetings and think to myself, my God, there are other people who are experiencing this exact same thing. 10:07 Just calling in and changing my schedule, asking people to pick up my shifts, all the things now take out the love and relationship part and just talk about codependency. my gosh, It absolutely affected me at work because when you are a people pleaser and you struggle to say, No, I can't work that shift, or no, I can't do that. 11:35 You do not want to give a person a laundry list of things to do when you're working on shifting your behavior that can be very overwhelming and you go into shock mode and then you just end up not doing anything. That's usually how that lands where you think there's, okay, I'm not, I can't do all that. 13:55 There is a space in a relationship to have some healthy independence and it really helps you get back to yourself if you are lost in a relationship. And sometimes when it's two people that are just full on that way, you don't even know that you're lost until something happens and you look up and you haven't spoken to your family, you haven't spoken to your friends because you're completely enmeshed. 17:07 The tighter you hold on to something, the more it's going to want to just get away from you and people are not attracted to that energy. People are not attracted to that energy. Having self-respect, having boundaries, creating your space. That is what's attractive, that is what is attractive. And if you are feeling those feelings of being abandoned, you have to do your own self work. 23:28 You can't love your way into their hearts if they don't want you there. You cannot love your way into someone's heart if they don't want you there. It's there for it's not there. And it's the most painful realization, but it's a true realization.  23:43 Time does heal. It. Does things change. I mean, thank God I'm not still crying about the guy I was upset about. It was 17. And I remember that cry very vividly as well. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Episode of Open Late, Drea interviews Brian and Audrey, a couple who met on TikTok and quickly moved in together. They discuss their journey, the reactions from friends and family, and how they keep their relationship fresh. They also talk about their communication styles, avoiding toxic behaviors, and the importance of privacy in the age of social media. Likewise, they share their thoughts on ethical non-monogamy and discuss their love languages and how they express affection. In this conversation, Brian and Audrey discuss their relationship and offer insights into navigating personal challenges, balancing individuality and togetherness, working together and their favorite things about each other.  In this Episode of Open Late: Moving in Within the First Months of Knowing Each Other Keeping the Relationship Fresh  Maintaining Privacy in the Age of Social Media Navigating Gender Roles and Expectations Advice for Relationships in Today's Society Connect with Brian and Audrey: https://www.instagram.com/brianathey2/ https://www.instagram.com/audreymittel/ https://www.tiktok.com/@brian_athey2?lang=es https://www.tiktok.com/@audreymittel?lang=es Connect with Drea: • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/openlatethepodcast/  https://www.instagram.com/thedrearenee/  • Website:  https://www.openlatepodcast.com/  • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@openlatepodcast/videos 09:47 I'm like grunting huffs every now and then, like I might get a little pissed off, but like, we're human. We don't get disrespectful. Stop disrespecting your partner. - Brian Athey 13:27 Find new things to do together and stop being so terrified of everything or people are lazy. That's where the boring comes in. Like that's where people get bored because they just expect something exciting -Audrey Mittel 22:00 I can do it all by myself, you know, and not realizing that when you are in a relationship with someone, it is important to feel needed by your partner, right? Like you want to feel like you're useful, and then you are both doing things for each other. And so those little moments of like just greeting each other when you see each other, like if you start dropping that, then that's when the relationship starts to fall apart. -Drea Renee 22:32 No matter how long you've been with your partner, you should still continue to date your partner.-Audrey Mittel  42:22 Stop trying to race each other to a finish line. There is no finish line whatsoever. And the only finish line is when you're six feet under. Like, that's it. Like so I don't know why you're racing to that. So it's like when you stop competing and you start completing each other and like, just complete the circuit. -Brian Athey 43:27 Find your friend in your person, you know? Don't just find your person like find your friend. -Audrey Mittel 19:01 Whatever our roles are that we can still even if we can double up on a role, then we'll fill it. Like if you can do something better than I can, that's cool. I'll find something else that I could do better than you, got somebody rowing a boat now, I guess my steering it. -Brian Athey 19:17 Now we got this boat actually moving. We're not fighting each other for who's going to do this, Who's going to do that.-Brian Athey 30:51 If you're listening, that means you're having to learn. So you're learning how to make it happen all the time.-Brian Athey Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of Open Late, Drea discusses the struggle of wanting to reach out to someone you know you shouldn't be contacting. She shares personal experiences and provides advice on how to manage the anxiety and feelings associated with love dependency. The importance of giving yourself grace and understanding that feelings are not facts is crucial on this process. Also, there is a key component of finding support through podcasts, support groups, and therapy. Drea also encourages asking yourself important questions about the person and the relationship, and recognizing the patterns and triggers that contribute to the love dependency cycle. She concludes by reminding listeners that it's okay to have setbacks and to be on their own journey. In this Episode of Open Late: How feelings are not facts Finding support to resist contacting an ex Recognizing codependency patterns and triggers Embracing setbacks in personal growth Mentioned in This Episode: Books about Love Codependency and Addiction https://a.co/d/hzrU91V  https://a.co/d/9Vr3YIc  Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (S.L.A.A.) https://slaafws.org/  Connect with Drea: • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/openlatethepodcast/  https://www.instagram.com/thedrearenee/  • Website: https://www.openlatepodcast.com/ • YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@openlatepodcast/videos 02:12 Don't send that text. Don't send that meme, because I know we do that, too. We've seen the meme, and the meme feels safe because it's not a phone call. It's not a text. It's just a meme. Right? What's the harm? No, don't do it. 02:57 They all change. I think that was one of the biggest lessons I've learned in my life. Feelings are not facts, unfortunately. I wish the good ones could just stay right, but they don't. And that's okay. So even if you're waking up today, and you're feeling so bad about yourself, or you're feeling bad about the situation, you're feeling bad about that person that you really want to call, just know this is not the end at all. 05:10 When you don't get something, or you don't know when you're going to get it, it creates that excitement. And that's how those toxic relationships start.  07:14 Start paying attention to what's happening in your body and start asking yourself, those big questions of who is this person? How are they making me feel? How are they showing up in my life? 09:14 So once you've gotten clear on some of these things that you can sort of intellectualize you kind of know what is a healthy relationship, what does that look like? 09:28 Sometimes it can feel boring. It just can. And that's just the truth, right? And when you're used to being triggered and the adrenaline and all the ups and the downs, and then you find somebody who's showing up for you consistently, you will not know what to do with that energy. 11:46 The energy that you have for them is just ready to go, which is that's a telltale sign as well. When you can override what your body and your mind is trying to tell you for that person, that's a telltale sign of like, okay, I'm maybe going into some interesting territory or I'm crossing my boundaries because my body's clearly trying to tell me something. 14:28 This is mine, this is theirs and this is ours. There are times when things show up for me, where I'm thinking to myself, okay, this is not our problem. This is a past projection. This is something I need to work on that I'm putting on my partner. 16:25 Drea, you wasted four years. I don't, I don't view it that way. I can't do it that way. I got four years of interesting lessons, that's for sure. And if it wasn't him, that taught me that somebody else would, that is how I see it.  18:18 Motion does change emotion.  19:53 Agnes, Not today. We're going to go on a walk and then you could come back. You can tell Agnes that they can come back later. Because that's the thing, you guys. It's all about managing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/ad

In this episode of the Open Late Podcast, Drea Renee, your new host, shares her journey with love codependency and the process of rediscovering self-love. Returning to the studio, Drea delves into her personal history, tracing the origins of her love codependency to a childhood fascination with love and the challenges arising from her parents' divorce. Drea recounts experiences of navigating unhealthy relationships, grappling with boundary-setting issues, and neglecting self-care. She also thoroughly explores the signs of love codependency, including obsession, persistent validation seeking, and a fear of solitude. On the other hand, Drea highlights the emotional roller coaster of extreme highs and lows, the compromise of personal values, and the neglect of friendships and family. Throughout the episode, Drea encourages listeners to recognize these signs as the first step in a challenging yet crucial journey toward overcoming love codependency and fostering personal growth. In this Episode of Open Late: Introduction to Love Codependency Journey Childhood Impact on Love Views Unhealthy Relationship Patterns Recognizing Signs of Love Codependency Encouragement for Personal Growth Connect with Drea: • Instagram: @thedrearenee | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com  • YouTube: Open Late Podcast • Open Late Dictionary 8:10 It isn't easy to walk away, somebody can come up to you, huge red flag and this guy said to me “Drea, I don't want to be in a relationship” all I hear is a challenge, okay lets get it. - Drea Renee 10:08 My moment for me, my AHA moment was when I was driving late at night, I was crying hysterically. I had to be at work the next day. I had no sleep. I hadn't spoken to my friends or my family. All I wanted to do is get this guy to do what I wanted him to do, which was call me back, come see me, you know, whatever the thing is, text me back, whatever. And I thought to myself, I was like, wow, this is really taking over my life. - Drea Renee 11:04 When I'm in that space, I call her Agnes. And when Agnes comes out, it's just like, forget it. I mean, there really isn't anything that anyone can do. And that is how codependency works. It doesn't matter who's in your way. It doesn't matter what anybody says. You're gonna go do whatever you need to do to get that text, to get that person to see you, to get them to respond. - Drea Renee 12:53 That love codependency journey really started for me again when I was young and also me wanting to create this relationship that I didn't see with my parents. I just fell in love with this idea of love. And I still am in love with that idea of love, but it's more healthy now. - Drea Renee 16:11 Now I definitely have stayed in some relationships longer than I should have because I did not want to be alone I didn't want to get off work and come home to an empty house I didn't want the weekends to come and go to the farmers market by myself But at the end of the day and I used to hate hearing this. - Drea Renee 23:58 Do not take for granted getting entangled with someone. If you know you have a hard time letting people go, really stay vigilant and conscious of who are you attaching yourself to. - Drea Renee 27:48 I think being aware of your patterns when they become harmful, and they are interfering with your well-being and ability to live a balance life, that's where we can start from - Drea Renee Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices