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In this episode of The Autism Mom Coach Podcast, I’m sharing a conversation from my appearance on Evolve with Dr. Tay with Dr. Taylor Day. We talk about the part of autism parenting that gets overlooked: the parent’s nervous system. Not behavior charts. Not better scripts. The parent. This conversation is about what it actually looks like to be your child’s safe person—without absorbing their distress, trying to fix what’s neurological, or burning yourself out in the process. In This Episode, You’ll Learn:Why parent regulation comes before co-regulationWhat “being the safe person” actually requires (and what it doesn’t)How staying in your own lane reduces escalationWhy behavior is information and how the meaning we attach to it fuels stressWhat it means to lead as the CEO of your autism householdHow acceptance strengthens leadership rather than weakening it Lisa’s TakeawayFor a long time, I thought I needed better answers, better strategies, better plans, better experts. What actually changed things was learning how to regulate myself under pressure. You can still be the safe person. You can still lead. And you don’t have to do everything for your child to do that. About Dr. Taylor DayDr. Taylor Day is a licensed child psychologist and parent coach specializing in neurodivergent-affirming care. She brings both clinical expertise and lived experience as an autism sibling, with a strong focus on supporting the entire family system—not just the child. Resources Mentioned:The Autism Mom Coach: https://theautismmomcoach.comFollow me on Instagram and Facebook: @TheAutismMomCoachFree Resource: The Autism Mom’s Meltdown Plan — a clear Before-During-After framework for supporting your child while staying regulated yourself

In this episode, Lisa talks with filmmaker Tyler Sansom and actor John Wells about the film Learning You. The movie follows a single father and his autistic son after the father removes him from an institution and takes him on an unplanned Christmas road trip. The conversation explores why this story felt different to tell and to watch. Tyler shares how the film came to him through a producer parenting a profoundly autistic daughter and how interviews with families shaped the script. John talks about stepping into the role as a father raising an autistic son himself, and how closely the character’s experiences mirrored his own. They discuss institutions, marriage breakdowns, system failures, meltdowns, and the way autism parenting requires constant recalibration. The focus stays on learning your child over time, reading early cues, and understanding behavior as information rather than something to correct. In This Episode, You’ll Hear and LearnWhat Learning You is about and how the story came to be madeWhy the film centers on institutional decisions and their impact on familiesHow John’s experience parenting an autistic son informed his performanceHow parents learn to recognize early signs before a meltdown escalatesWhy behavior often reflects nervous system overloadHow autism parenting evolves as children grow and change To watch Learning You, visit https://www.learningyoumovie.com to find a theater near you or learn more about the film’s release.

In this episode, Lisa reflects on what parenting her son through years of severe anxiety, OCD, aggression, and hospitalizations taught her as he transitioned into adulthood. She shares three principles that carried her through the darkest seasons—and continue to guide her as an autism mom today. In This Episode, You’ll Learn:How acceptance evolved from a one-time idea into a moment-by-moment practiceWhy resistance to reality can interfere with decision-making during crisisWhat unconditional love looks like when your child feels unfamiliarHow holding hope differs from denial—and why it requires courageWhy clearer advocacy came only after facing what was actually happening Lisa’s Takeaway:The teen years forced me to accept what was happening in real time, love my child without conditions tied to outcomes, and hold hope even when there was no evidence yet. Those three principles changed how I showed up as a parent—and as an advocate. Links Mentioned:Schedule a consultation: https://talkwiththeautismmomcoach.as.me/Email Lisa: [email protected] If this episode resonated and you’re carrying a lot right now—whether you’re in crisis or simply worn down—you don’t have to navigate it alone. Schedule a one-on-one consultation at talkwiththeautismmomcoach.as.me and let’s talk through what support could look like for you.

In this episode, Lisa Candera sits down with autistic actress, writer, and filmmaker Bella Zoe Martinez, star of the short film Once More, Like Rain Man. Bella offers a candid look at what it’s like to navigate Hollywood—and the world—when autism is reduced to a single stereotype. Through humor and honesty, she shares the lived experience behind masking, exhaustion, and being misunderstood before you ever speak. In This Episode, You’ll Learn:Why Rain Man has become shorthand for autism—and why that’s a problemWhat it’s like to live under constant comparison to a stereotypeHow autistic characters are often written as flat or roboticWhat masking actually feels like from the insideWhy kids come home exhausted after holding it together all dayWhy autistic people deserve to tell stories beyond autism Lisa’s Takeaway:Hearing Bella describe masking as acting shifted how I understand what so many kids carry every day. When we see behavior as effort instead of defiance, the picture changes—and so does our response. Links Mentioned:Once More, Like Rain Man If this episode resonated with you, share it with another autism mom who’s tired of stereotypes and surface-level understanding. And if you want deeper support, schedule a consult at talkwiththeautismmomcoach.as.me.

Last week we uncovered the Expectation Trap — the moment you realize you’re holding someone to your internal rulebook and feeling irritated, disappointed, or flat-out furious when they don’t follow it. This week, we take it further. Because once you see the trap clearly, the real question becomes: now what? This episode breaks down your three actual moves when someone’s behavior clashes with your values, standards, or instincts: let it go, make an adjustment, or enforce a boundary. These choices help you reclaim your steadiness, drop unnecessary resentment, and lead your home with more intention, especially during the holiday pressure cooker. In This Episode, You’ll Learn: How your expectations get built — and why the internal ones hit the hardest The power of choosing your battles instead of reacting from urgency or indignation Why “letting it go” is sometimes the most strategic move in an autism household What adjusting looks like when someone simply operates differently than you How to enforce a boundary without drama, panic, or self-judgment When you stop holding people to your personal rulebook, you stop burning energy on the wrong things and free up bandwidth for what actually matters to you. Ready to take this work deeper? Work with Me: This is where we clean up the mental load, the resentment, and the overfunctioning so you have capacity again: https://talkwiththeautismmomcoach.as.me

Holiday season has a way of dragging every unspoken rule you live by straight into the spotlight. In this episode, I’m calling out the Expectation Trap — the moment where your values, routines, and instincts collide with people who make choices that feel completely upside down to you. Here’s the truth: you are never the baseline for anyone else’s behavior. The minute you stop measuring other people’s choices against your internal rulebook, everything from holiday plans to everyday interactions feels lighter and easier to lead through. In This Episode, You’ll Learn: How expectations form through structure, routine, and the rules you carry in your headWhy holiday shifts land harder in autism households and spike nervous system stressThe emotional weight that settles on you when you assume others think like youHow releasing yourself as the “standard” creates breathing room in your body and your mind This shift frees up the mental space you need to guide your home with steadier energy, clearer decisions, and far less resentment. If this work speaks to what you’re living, here are a few ways to go deeper: Schedule a consultation for private coaching and get tailored support for your family: https://talkwiththeautismmomcoach.as.me

Every November, we hear the same message: be grateful, make a list, count your blessings. But for many autism parents, gratitude lists fall flat. You already know what matters—your child, progress, small moments of peace. The problem isn’t awareness; it’s that your nervous system is still stuck in survival mod In this episode, Lisa Candera, autism mom coach and host of The Autism Mom Coach Podcast, shares why savoring—not just gratitude—is the missing piece in emotional regulation for autism parents. You’ll learn how savoring helps your brain record safety and connection as real, not rare, and why that matters for both you and your child’s nervous system health. Lisa explains how constant vigilance wires the body for stress, how negativity bias keeps you scanning for threat, and how brief, intentional pauses can retrain your brain to recognize safety. This isn’t mindset work—it’s nervous system retraining through small, consistent moments that actually stick. By the end, you’ll know how to use savoring as a real-world regulation skill that shifts your body from tension to steadiness—one breath at a time. In This Episode, You’ll Learn: What savoring means and why it matters for autism parentsHow negativity bias keeps your nervous system stuck in threat modeThe science of how savoring rewires the brain for safety and balanceWhy gratitude alone doesn’t create regulation without embodimentSimple ways to practice savoring in daily life without extra effort Lisa’s Takeaway: Savoring is how you remind your body that good moments count too. Each pause, each exhale, each second you let safety land—it all adds up to regulation and resilience. Links Mentioned: Download The Autism Mom’s Meltdown PlanSchedule a consult with Lisa Candera

Before your autistic child can self-regulate, they co-regulate — through you. Your nervous system becomes their roadmap. Your breath, tone, and posture tell their body whether it’s safe or in danger. This is why your steadiness matters more than any script or strategy. In this episode, autism mom coach Lisa Candera breaks down the science and skill of co-regulation for autism parents — how two nervous systems sync, how stress transfers between you and your child, and how to use your own body as the anchor that helps them recover. You’ll learn what’s actually happening in those intense moments — the fight, flight, or freeze responses you both experience — and how to interrupt the cycle by leading with your body’s cues instead of your child’s behavior. Lisa explains why co-regulation is often the missing piece in emotional regulation for autistic children and what it takes to build this skill over time, even when your own nervous system feels maxed out. This episode goes beyond theory. You’ll get specific, repeatable tools for steadying yourself during meltdowns, transitions, or any moment of dysregulation, and see how these small shifts can reduce reactivity, shorten recovery time, and strengthen trust between you and your child. In This Episode, You’ll Learn: What co-regulation means and how it develops before self-regulationWhy your nervous system sets the tone for your child’s emotions and behaviorThe patterns that keep autism parents stuck in survival modeHow your own body history shapes your reactions under stressFive practical ways to use your body cues as steadying signals during meltdowns Links Mentioned: Schedule a consult with Lisa CanderaDownload The Autism Mom’s Meltdown Plan

You’ve heard me say it before: regulation starts with you. But what does that really mean when your child is melting down in front of you, your body tightens, your pulse spikes, and your mind goes straight to “make it stop”? This is not a mindset issue. It’s biology. Your nervous system is wired to mirror your child’s. When they escalate, your body reacts. You feel it. And that’s why prevention and control, as much as we rely on them, only take us so far. You can plan every detail, anticipate every trigger, and still find yourself in the middle of a storm, running on adrenaline. Because in that moment, what matters most isn’t what you do, it’s how you are. In Episode 184 of The Autism Mom Coach Podcast, I talk about what it really means that regulation starts with you. I share what happens when you meet your child’s distress with your own, how your energy shapes the room before you say a word, and how to steady yourself when everything feels like it’s coming apart. You’ll learn: • The difference between reacting and regulating • How your body’s signals matter more than your words • Simple ways to bring yourself back to baseline Regulation is awareness. It’s catching yourself sooner, breathing before you speak, and becoming the steady presence your child can lean on. 🎧 Listen to Episode 184: Why Regulation Starts With You — because your energy teaches your child how to find theirs. Being the Calmest Nervous System in the Room: It’s one of the hardest parts of parenting an autistic child. But this isn’t about being zen or unbothered. It’s about learning how your body reacts, spotting it sooner, and choosing steadiness over reactivity. That’s why working 1:1 with a seasoned autism mom and experienced coach is a game changer! If you’ve been craving support + skills to do tomorrow better, schedule a consult HERE.

Lisa continues her conversation with therapist and autism mom Janeen Herskovitz about the mental-health landscape for teens and young adults with autism. They talk about anxiety, burnout, alexithymia, and how parents can balance support, boundaries, and rest—for their kids and themselves. Key TakeawaysMental-health shifts often begin earlier than we expect.Feelings live in the body; naming them is regulation.“School refusal” is often emotional overload, not defiance.Recovery isn’t avoidance—it’s necessary work. Lisa’s TakeawayWatching your child’s mental health shift can feel disorienting and scary. I know what it’s like to live on alert, waiting for the next crash, trying to keep it all together. What I’ve learned—personally and through coaching—is that recovery isn’t a pause; it’s the work. Rest and regulation are how we rebuild. The same applies to our kids. Links & ResourcesAutism Blueprint Podcast Work with LisaIf your teen or young adult is struggling with anxiety, masking, or emotional overwhelm—and you’re unsure how to help without burning out—support is available. I work 1:1 with autism moms to build calm, clarity, and confidence in the hardest moments. Schedule a private consultation at talkwiththeautismmomcoach.as.me

In this episode of The Autism Mom Coach Podcast, Lisa Candera sits down with therapist and Autism Blueprint host Janine Hershkowitz, LMHC for an honest conversation about the intersection of autism and maternal mental health. Janine—mom of two autistic young adults and a psychotherapist with over 15 years of experience—shares how constant stress, high-alert living, and unprocessed trauma shape the nervous systems of autism parents. Together, Lisa and Janine discuss what healing can look like, how to create boundaries without guilt, and why sustainable self-maintenance is essential for both parent and child. This episode is part one of a two-part series on Autism and Mental Health. In This Episode:How chronic high-alert living impacts the body and mind of autism momsWhat trauma looks like in parents of autistic children—and how EMDR can helpWhy guilt often masquerades as responsibilityHow to shift from fixing your child to leading your household with steadinessReal-life boundary work that protects both parent and relationship Key Takeaways:Regulation first. You can’t pour from an empty nervous system.Behavior is information. Over-functioning hides data about your child’s needs.Boundaries are leadership. Clear limits protect your energy and your child’s stability.Guilt is a false alarm. Learn to tell the difference between true accountability and internalized pressureot always better. Sustainable support beats constant doing. 🔗 https://autismblueprint.com About The Autism Mom Coach:Lisa Candera is a solo mom to a young adult with severe autism and OCD, a practicing attorney, and a certified life coach. Through her coaching programs, she teach moms how to regulate their emotions, reduce anxiety, and parent from steadiness instead of survival. 🔗 Learn more: https://theautismmomcoach.com 🔗 Book a free consultation: https://talkwiththeautismmomcoach.as.me/

ABA Is Not One Size Fits AllApplied Behavior Analysis (ABA) can be one of the most effective tools for helping children with autism—but it’s often misunderstood. In this episode of The Autism Mom Coach, host Lisa Candera talks with Alisha Simpson-Watt, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Board-Certified Behavior Analyst, and Licensed Behavior Analyst who leads Collaborative ABA Services in Middletown, Connecticut. Alisha explains why ABA therapy should never be a one-size-fits-all approach. She shares how modern ABA focuses on individualized treatment plans tailored to the unique needs of each child and family. As both a professional and an autism mom, Alisha offers a compassionate, real-world perspective on what quality ABA looks like today—and how the field has evolved toward trauma-informed, collaborative care. Listeners will learn: What ABA therapy is and how it supports behavior change and skill buildingCommon misconceptions about ABA and how the science has advancedThe importance of parent training and collaboration in every treatment planKey questions to ask when choosing an ABA providerWhy it’s never too late to start ABA therapy—and why parents deserve grace in the process If you’re an autism parent navigating the world of ABA, this episode will help you feel more informed, confident, and empowered to advocate for your child. Alicia's Links: Individual Accounts for Alisha: LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/alisha-simpson-watt-lcsw-bcba-lba-866083280 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/leadingwithalisha/ Collaborative ABA Services, LLC Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100086038215957 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/collaborativeabaservices/ LinkedIn: a href="https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=https-3A__www.linkedin.com_company_collaborative-2Daba-2Dservices-2Dllc_&d=DwMGaQ&c=euGZstcaTDllvimEN8b7jXrwqOf-v5A_CdpgnVfiiMM&r=qQkJG8iN7dFCbwqdpRasVsVp8Tj0RK2ucCnvNCckvuM&m=w1DT58H7pg4Ubzq4mdllgv6bcWkwkLWFvlDQwMF5oQMpHmYLMvRduKg_SyimGcWA&s=b5m-zmx771_hjHfbT9ak4orgNgf0zUK2yHN9XTBrAHI&e=" rel="noopener noreferrer"...

Welcome to Episode 180 of The Autism Mom Coach! This week I am thrilled to bring you my conversation with Melissa Gagne — special education attorney, autism mom, former educator, and the creator of a powerful new program called IEP Slay. When I first saw Melissa sharing about IEP Slay on Instagram, I knew I had to learn more. As special needs parents, we are constantly surrounded by information — but not all of it is complete, accurate, or useful. And when it comes to IEPs and 504 Plans, sifting through endless research, Facebook groups, or Google searches can leave us overwhelmed and exhausted. That’s why IEP Slay caught my attention: a one-stop membership resource curated by a practicing special education attorney, designed to help parents feel educated, prepared, and supported before, during, and after their IEP meetings. In this episode, Melissa shares: Her personal journey from educator to attorney and autism mom.Why she created IEP Slay and how it’s built to empower parents.The tools and resources inside the membership, including legal breakdowns, scripts, templates, and emotional support strategies.How IEP Slay helps parents reduce isolation through a connected community.Details about becoming a founding member — with lifetime pricing and early-bird bonuses. Melissa’s story is inspiring, and her mission to turn IEP advocacy into a movement is something every autism parent will want to hear. 🔗 Learn more & join the IEP Slay waitlist HERE. ✨ If you’re ready to take what you learn on this podcast and apply it to your own life, schedule a consultation with me: https://theautismmomcoach.com/work-with-me

This week on The Autism Mom Coach, I’m talking about the recent announcement linking Tylenol use during pregnancy to autism—and the harmful recommendation for moms to “tough it out.” If you’ve ever blamed yourself for your child’s autism… If you’ve felt judged for your parenting choices… If you’re tired of hearing that moms are at fault… This episode is for you. As autism moms, we are already toughing it out every single day—navigating therapies, schools, meltdowns, doctors, and the constant undercurrent of guilt and shame. The last thing we need is another message telling us we’re to blame. Inside this episode, I share: Why blaming moms for autism is nothing new (hello, “refrigerator mom” theory).The impact these narratives have on our mental health.Why autism is not your fault—and how to remind yourself of that truth.How to stop internalizing guilt and start having your own back. Whether you’re frustrated, angry, or just exhausted from toughing it out, this conversation will give you validation and support. Work with Me Podcasts give you aha moments, but real change happens when you apply these tools in your own life. That’s what we do inside my 1:1 coaching program—helping you regulate your emotions, release the guilt, and show up as the mom you want to be. 📅 Schedule your consultation here: https://theautismmomcoach.com/work-with-me

How much of your child’s autism diagnosis do you share with other people? Some autism moms share openly on social media, while others share only when it feels necessary. In this episode of The Autism Mom Coach Podcast, I give you a simple 3-part framework to help you decide what feels right for you. This is a question autism parents face often: Do I explain my child’s meltdowns or behaviors so others understand?Should I tell neighbors or teachers more to support safety?Can sharing help me feel less alone and more connected? In this episode, I walk you through the three principles I use when deciding what to share and with whom: Clarity, Care, and Connection. What You’ll Learn in This Episode ✅ Why there’s no “right” or “wrong” amount to share about your child’s diagnosis ✅ How this information can help others understand your child’s behaviors ✅ When sharing is important for your child’s safety and care ✅ How sharing can build connection and reduce isolation for autism moms