Advertise on podcast: Relationship As Medicine

What happens when two completely different nervous systems try to build a life together? In this episode of Relationship as Medicine, we explore the complex dance of couples navigating neurodivergence, trauma, and different communication capacities. We discuss how to "uncross the wires" and learn your partner's unique language without making either person wrong. We also explore how intergenerational trauma impacts modern love, and how family constellations can help us untangle past family history from present relationship conflict. Tune in to discover how the relationship itself becomes the ultimate space for healing.  Luana Rose is a neurodivergent affirming Nervous System and Relationship Specialist with a seasoned expertise in Somatic Experiencing® and childhood (developmental) trauma resolution, who has helped 2000+ people in 40+ countries worldwide with a variety of mental, physical, emotional and relational problems, supporting her clients to feel safe and at home in their bodies and relationships. Luana has a free workshop coming up in September - find out more and sign up here: https://luma.com/xcsa76pl You can also find Luana in these places: Website: thegoodhumanacademy.com IG: @thegoodhumanacademy FB: @theluanarosecoaching Shelby's offerings: Autism & ADHD assessments: ⁠shelby-leigh.com/autism-and-adhd-assessments Neurocomplexity Group: Beginning in October, I am offering a 6 week guided group for neurodivergent adults (whether you have a diagnosis, self-identify, or are curious and exploring) for self-understanding, nervous system tending, and living more ease-fully inside your own complex wiring. shelby-leigh.com/neurocomplexity-group Embrace: Back for the third time, Embrace is an 8 month, neuro-affirming, trauma-informed group + 1:1 program for people who have done a lot of healing and feel it’s time to shift their focus away from endlessly ‘facing discomfort’ and move towards thriving. Embrace offers space to slow down, soften the edges, tend to your nervous system and meet yourself with profound kindness. shelby-leigh.com/embrace Shelby's website: www.shelby-leigh.com

In part two of my conversation with Nyck Walsh, we continue exploring what it means to approach neurodivergence, therapy, and healing through a more relational, non-pathologizing, and deeply human lens. Nyck is a somatic psychotherapist, counselor educator, and author of Neurodivergent Somatics in Therapy, and this conversation moves through so many important questions: What do we actually mean when we talk about safety? Who gets to define it? What happens when neurodivergent expression is misunderstood through trauma-only or pathology-based frameworks? And what does it look like to support people in ways that are collaborative, affirming, and rooted in curiosity rather than correction? Together, we talk about safer space, trust, masking, diagnosis and self-identification, ableism in therapeutic spaces, the harm of being missed or misunderstood, and the profound freedom that can come when someone is finally able to understand themselves more clearly. We also touch on therapist self-care, power dynamics, and why this work asks all of us to keep learning, unlearning, and listening more deeply. About Nyck Nyck Walsh (he/they) brings a whole person, anti-oppressive, intersectional somatic lens to working with Autistic and KCS/VAST (more affirming language for “ADHD”) folks. A white, Autistic, VAST, queer, and trans counselor, Nyck is the director of the Nyck Walsh Counseling & Training Center and creator of the Neurodivergent Somatics model. He curates reparative experiences for late-identified Autistic and KCS/VAST people to connect with their innate wisdom, dismantle ableism, be supported through challenges, and make meaning of their misunderstood neurodivergent experiences. His counselor education programs have attracted an international following, with both neurodivergent and neurotypical counselors alike reporting that they feel deeply supported and validated by his approach. While being human brings no shortage of complexity, Nyck delights in frolicking in nature and living among the trees with his four-legged bestie in the mountains of what is colonially known as Colorado. Find out more at his website: nyckwalsh.com And you can find his new book, Neurodivergent Somatics in Therapy, An Anti-Oppressive Model for Whole Person Care, via the links below. For US orders, use this link (it includes a 20% discount and free shipping): https://wwnorton.com/books/9781324082910?promo=WALSH20 For orders throughout the UK, Europe and Asia, please use this link and discount code (which includes 30% off): https://wwnorton.co.uk/books/9781324082910-neurodivergent-somatics-in-therapy And the discount code is WN357 You can find Shelby via her website: www.shelby-leigh.com If you're interested in assessment with Shelby, you can find out more here: ⁠shelby-leigh.com/autism-and-adhd-assessments⁠

This episode is a re-release, as it is the perfect entry into Season Two of Relationship As Medicine. What does it mean to choose a wholeness paradigm instead of a pathology lens when it comes to neuro-affirming care? In this episode, I sit down with the brilliant Nyck Walsh to explore what happens when we bring compassion, authenticity, and somatics into the conversation about neurodivergence. Together, we touch into the radical permission it takes to be fully human and to rest into identities that have often been misunderstood or pathologized. We explore the relief, grief, and even terror that can arise with late-in-life neurodivergent identification—and the profound sense of liberation that can come with finally having language for who we are. Nyck shares what it means to honor authenticity beneath masking, to unpack internalized ableism, and to reconnect with innate wisdom that has always been there, waiting to be trusted. Our conversation also weaves in the intersections of privilege and oppression, the deep longing for belonging, and the all-too-common question: “Am I ___ enough?” Together, we name how neurodivergent folks often carry both tremendous courage and tremendous vulnerability as they navigate authenticity, safety, and connection in a neurotypical-dominant world. You’ll also hear about Nyck’s pioneering model of Neurodivergent Somatics, his international counselor education programs, and his forthcoming book with Norton Professional Books, Neurodivergent Somatics and Therapy: an anti-oppressive model for whole person care (March 2026). This is a conversation filled with tenderness, truth, and courage – an invitation to see neurodivergence not as something broken or deficient, but as whole, wise, and worthy. About Nyck Nyck Walsh (he/they) brings a whole person, anti-oppressive, intersectional somatic lens to working with Autistic and KCS/VAST (more affirming language for “ADHD”) folks. A white, Autistic, VAST, queer, and trans counselor, Nyck is the director of the Nyck Walsh Counseling & Training Center and creator of the Neurodivergent Somatics model. He curates reparative experiences for late-identified Autistic and KCS/VAST people to connect with their innate wisdom, dismantle ableism, be supported through challenges, and make meaning of their misunderstood neurodivergent experiences. His counselor education programs have attracted an international following, with both neurodivergent and neurotypical counselors alike reporting that they feel deeply supported and validated by his approach. While being human brings no shortage of complexity, Nyck delights in frolicking in nature and living among the trees with his four-legged bestie in the mountains of what is colonially known as Colorado. Find out more at his website: nyckwalsh.com And you can find his new book, Neurodivergent Somatics in Therapy, An Anti-Oppressive Model for Whole Person Care, here: wwnorton.com/books/9781324082910 You can find Shelby via her website: www.shelby-leigh.com And, if you're interested in an assessment with Shelby, you can find out more here: ⁠shelby-leigh.com/autism-and-adhd-assessments⁠

This episode is a re-release, as it is the perfect entry into Season Two of Relationship As Medicine. After a season of quiet integration, Shelby returns to the mic to share a powerful evolution in her work: the weaving of neurodiversity-affirming assessment into her trauma-healing framework. In this intimate and thoughtful episode, she explores what it means to recognize, affirm, and support neurodivergent and neurocomplex individuals within the healing relationship. Shelby offers grounded definitions of neurodivergence, neurocomplexity, and related terms like AuDHD and giftedness—explaining why this language matters, especially in relational and therapeutic contexts. She reflects on how trauma healing shifts when we stop trying to pathologize difference and instead create space for the many ways nervous systems move through the world. Listeners will walk away with a deeper understanding of: What it means to be neurodivergent or neurocomplex Why so many clients have felt unseen within traditional trauma frameworks How affirming assessments offer a different kind of mirror—one rooted in compassion, nuance, and belonging This episode is an open door into a more inclusive, affirming, and trauma-informed healing space. You can find Shelby via her website: www.shelby-leigh.com

Introducing Season 2 of Relationship as Medicine, hosted by Shelby Leigh. This season expands the conversation beyond pathology and into a more compassionate, empowering and honest exploration of healing, connection, nervous systems, neurodivergence and the many ways relationship can become medicine. Hosted by somatic psychotherapist, educator, writer, and neuro-affirming autism and ADHD assessor Shelby Leigh, Season 2 offers a refuge for therapists, coaches, practitioners, and kindred souls who are curious about their own inner worlds, neurotype, and unique way of being. Through trauma-informed conversations and fresh perspectives from the field, this season reimagines what it means to be in healing relationships that are truly supportive, connected, and empowering. This is a space for those of us who may look like we are doing pretty well on the outside while carrying so much inside. A space to slow down, welcome all parts of ourselves with compassion, and explore healing in ways that feel more whole, relational, and alive. Here, connection itself is the medicine, and fixing is never the goal.

What happens when (as is the focus in most western grad school programs) we emphasize diagnosis and prescription over the therapeutic relationship and holistic healing? We might end up with excellent theoretical knowledge and clinical skills, and while those things are important, they’re only one piece of the support that’s needed to facilitate effective and lasting healing and growth. So how do we start (or continue) to shift the focus of therapeutic work towards a more integrated, accepting and holistic approach? Join Silvana Espinoza and I as we explore what it takes to decolonize therapy and coaching practices. We discuss why the process starts with decolonizing ourselves—examining the values, biases, and systems we’ve unconsciously absorbed. Listen in to discover what grad school didn’t teach you about reclaiming your own healing medicine and approaches that honor community and right relationship, as we envision a future of healing that resists the mental health industrial complex and centers authentic connection and liberation. Through our conversation, you will find some actionable steps and thought-provoking insights for creating a practice rooted in justice, equity, and genuine care. Silvana Espinoza Lau is an embodied liberation and decolonization consultant and coach for therapists, healers, and service providers. Silvana coaches therapists and healers who want to incorporate decolonized, liberation focused and anti-oppressive values in their practices in an embodied way and consults with mental health agencies that want to center therapy seekers with minoritized identities. She also consults with mental health agencies on how to incorporate decolonial mental health practices. Silvana is an LMFT in private practice in unceded Kalapuya territory (Oregon), and a clinical supervisor and consultant to both licensed and prelicensed clinicians with a focus on anti-oppressive and decolonized therapy practice. You can find Silvana in these places: IG: @decolonizeyourpractice FB: www.facebook.com/decolonizeyourpractice Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/silvana-espinoza-lau-906498233

In this episode of Relationship As Medicine, we explore the power of intentional relationships and the ripple effect of our actions. Topics include the pitfalls of spiritual bypassing, the necessity of rest and reciprocity, and how to create a bigger impact by doing less. We also dive into decolonizing coaching & healing relationships and building authentic relationships. I hope this conversation acts as an invitation to you to reflect on how your small ripples can lead to meaningful waves of change. Emily Anne Brant is an Indigenous writer, speaker & mentor working at the intersection of personal development and decolonization. She is Turtle clan, from the Mohawks of the Bay of Quinte First Nation. Emily is on a mission to decolonize the personal development and coaching industry and works with coaches, leaders and all types of therapists and healers to create more inclusive spaces. At the heart of it all is fostering communities where everyone feels seen, safe, and truly supported so that we can grow and rise together! You can find Emily in these places: Emily’s Website: www.emilyannebrant.com Emily’s Instagram: www.instagram.com/emilyannebrant FREE E-BOOK: www.emilyannebrant.com/decolonize The Round Table Replay Box: https://www.emilyannebrant.com/the-round-table-replay-box

In a culture that glorifies self-help, therapy, and coaching as solo journeys to self-improvement, many of us have absorbed the belief that we must “do it all” ourselves. But what does this push for hyper self-reliance cost us? Join me as I speak with Catherine Hale, nervous system coach and educator, as we dive deep into the concept of co-regulation and explore how our tendency toward self-sufficiency often leads to isolation and a sense of separation from our communities. We explore how to know if it’s safe to show up authentically and vulnerably with others, how we can navigate the delicate balance between being open and protecting our boundaries, and, most importantly, what conditions do we need to feel secure enough to bring our whole selves into community? True connection requires a willingness to show up for ourselves and others, rediscovering the healing that can only happen when we’re seen, heard, and supported. Whether you’re curious about building deeper relationships or ready to let go of the pressure to “do it alone,” this episode is your invitation to embrace the power of togetherness. Meet Catherine, a passionate nervous system coach and educator who inspires seasoned change-makers—coaches, healers, and leaders—to unlock their full potential. With her guidance, individuals can tap into the extraordinary power of post-traumatic growth, transforming their healing journey into a path of empowerment and purpose. In 2023, Catherine launched the Culture of Care training, a groundbreaking program that fosters a holistic approach to trauma-informed care. Designed for practitioners and facilitators, this training equips them with the skills to create safe, sensitive environments that honor the diverse needs of individuals and groups. Catherine believes that by mastering trauma-informed techniques and understanding the intricacies of the nervous system, we can collectively cultivate a culture that empowers profound transformations in our lives and work. Together, we can build the beautiful world our hearts know is possible—one that thrives on compassion, resilience, and deep connection. Find Catherine in these places: Website: https://catherinehale.co.uk/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/catherinehaleuk/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/catherinehale.co.uk

Trusting Your Inner Compass: Cultivating Intuition, Clarity, and Confidence In this episode, join Bre and I as we dive deep into the art of trusting your intuition in a society that often values logic and external validation over inner knowing. We discuss how to overcome the stigma around intuition, especially for those who have experienced trauma or oppression, and explore ways to create a sense of safety when reconnecting with your inner voice. We cover practical strategies for those caught in cycles of overthinking and procrastination, offering insights on how to break free and trust yourself in taking the next steps forward. We also unpack the difference between a trauma response and true intuition, helping you recognize signs when you're acting out of fear versus genuine inner wisdom. If you’ve ever felt disconnected from your body as a means of staying safe, we discuss how to gently tap back into bodily sensations and use them as a guide for decision-making. Plus, we share simple practices and visualizations to help you build trust in your intuition and enhance your self-confidence. Tune in for an enlightening conversation full of practical tips and compassionate guidance to support you on your journey back to your own inner compass. Bre Crawford is a Doctor of Physical Therapy and Certified Wholehearted Life Coach and founder of Orchard Physical Therapy + Coaching. Her work as a Doctor of Physical Therapy centers around the belief that our bodies are resilient and capable of healing. She's passionate about co-creating a space for her patients to connect to their bodies through mindfulness, movement, and pain science education. As a Life Coach, she helps folks who feel stuck in overwhelm, uncertainty, and self-doubt find clarity and confidence to live their most fulfilled life - with ease and joy. Bre has a workshop coming up on November 19th, which you can find out about here (live & recorded): Embody Your Intuition: From Overthinking and Uncertainty to Clarity and Confidence www.orchardbend.com/workshop And you can also find her in these places: www.orchardbend.com And you can find Shelby here: www.shelby-leigh.com⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@fierceheart.shelbyleigh⁠⁠

Join us in "Peace with Self, Peace with Food," where we dive deep into the intricate relationship between nourishment, body image, and our nervous systems. This podcast explores the barriers to true nourishment, both physically and emotionally, and how attachment, development, and physiology shape our eating behaviors. We'll uncover why certain behaviors and experiences can't be changed through thinking alone, and how healing can involve profound physiological shifts, as we support the nervous system in regulation and the attachment system with care. You’ll learn how nourishment goes beyond food, touching on boundaries, chronic illness, and even breathing practices that support a deep connection inside and out. Discover a new paradigm emerging in the understanding of nourishment and well-being, and gain practical insights into how to support yourself and others on this journey toward peace with both self and food. While this episode centers around food and body image, Galina's book and this conversation supports healing around many different types of challenges in our lives. We could call it all: tending to nourishment challenges in mind, body and heart. Galina Denzel is a somatic practitioner and author based in Colorado. She helps people who struggle with emotional eating recover and enjoy peace, well-being and authentic connection with themselves and their loved ones.She is the author of Peace with Self Peace with Food - a trauma healing approach for emotional eating. Galina's Current Offerings: Free chapter of Peace with Self, Peace with Food www.purebelonging.com FB: purebelonging IG: @galinadenzel Shelby's Current Offerings: Remembering Who You are: A 3-Part Series on Belonging, Becoming and Being www.shelby-leigh.com ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@fierceheart.shelbyleigh⁠⁠

The result of nervous system regulation isn't just being calm all of the time.  As our regulation increases, we gain range. It gives us this incredible ability to welcome all parts of ourselves and be present for many more experiences.  We get to voraciously experience life's highs and lows without shutting down. Instead we are here for it - grounded, centered and connected to each moment whether it being fast or slow, high or low, pleasant or unpleasant or anywhere in between. My definition of healing trauma is "to embrace." When we are able to slow down enough and allow anything to come up and meet it with warmth and care.  As we begin to practice slowing down, our entire histories tend to show up in our bodies/hearts and minds. In a healing process... we have space to allow all of it and meet it in a new way. We can either do old school pushing into the discomfort and try to dig it to the root OR we could softly welcome it like we were welcoming an old friend and follow the body's wisdom to see what wants to unfold next. When we can allow all parts with this level of spaciousness and range - we don't have to effort to cut out past experiences, try to figure them out or fix them. Instead we have the bandwidth to expand wide enough to be with all that arises - sensations, emotions, experiences... all of it. When we're healing through nervous system regulation work, we're growing a greater sense of somatic safety which brings us a wide range to face all of life's experiences. How do we grow ourselves wide enough to welcome it and be with it just like we would be with an old friend? And that naturally allows for trauma resolution... we come into new relationship to it. We learn that we can be with discomfort, we learn that we can be with pain and suffering and grief because it's part of being human.  And we ALSO learn that we can be with joy and play and pleasure and aliveness. The more we have capacity for one of these, the more we have capacity for all of them. It allows us to have that full spectrum of our humanity. It gives us back who we are, what we want to do and how we want to be. As our trauma physiology gets updated to the safety available in the present moment, we get to exhale into infinite possibilities of how to engage with life, with ourselves and others.  We make empowered choices out of our greatest intentions - moving from an entirely new paradigm. Shelby's Current Offerings: Free 3-Part Training Starting on August 20 - Art of Presence ⁠⁠⁠⁠Body of Work Program⁠⁠⁠⁠ Healing Through Wholeness - Embrace Program ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@fierceheart.shelbyleigh⁠⁠

In a culture that tends to drive a state of urgency and action, it’s an act of rebellion to practice and choose spaciousness.  That old paradigm is one I no longer subscribe to and I’ll tell you why and how. The more regulated our nervous systems get, the easier it is to consciously choose peace and ease within - even amidst challenge. I am adamant about the power of discernment and choice. It’s not easy… especially when our physiology has been conditioned to a state of survival and stress.  It goes against the stream to find ways to pause when we believe we need to be in action. When we can commit ourselves to spaciousness, presence and peace - there are so many possibilities of healing, growth and awakening in ways we may have only dreamed of. Less becomes more.  More wisdom, more precise action, more boundaries, more clarity.  Because when we know how to slow down and come back home to our own center in a moment - everything we need is right there. This is also true of how we sit with our clients as coaches and therapists.  When we learn that slow is the new fast and we go lighter to go deeper we give our clients some of the greatest gifts.  When we push for big transformations out of a state of urgency and wanting to feel helpful, fix or figure out - we’re out of the present moment and we’re possibly putting more pressure on our clients when what would be healing is to take the very familiar pressure off. What might be possible when we’re settled deeply in ourselves and we can trust that state of being fully and completely? When we can learn to sit with the unknown, the discomfort and what’s truly alive here in the present moment (even if we don't’ like it), we have the ultimate super power.  Especially when we can sit with it with curiosity and care.  We can learn to do that for ourselves and others.  This is a revolutionary gift. Too often we’re trying to heal with the same oppressive mechanisms that we were hurt by.  Through standing in this revolutionary commitment to an entirely new way of being with ourselves and others - we are choosing a new paradigm to move from. Connect With Shelby: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Free 1:1 25-Minute Connection Call⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Newsletter Sign Up + Free 7 Day Guided Course⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Body of Work⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@fierceheart.shelbyleigh⁠⁠

Having taught meditation for decades and sharing various practices, I have learned that for me… I need both consistency AND variety.  Others need the same thing every day. And others need to scattered bouts of showing up. Listen in and see if there’s one thing that you can take with you that helps you give yourself permission to see what most supports YOU.  There’s so much space to remember who we are through practice and it doesn’t have to look any particular way.   Practicing what’s nourishing for us brings us towards our highest goals.  Can we do that while putting perfectionism aside and allow it to be a never-ending experiment? It’s easy to get distracted or shut down, especially when practice starts opening us towards what we most want (that old “rubber band” effect).  How do we keep showing up no matter what we’re facing whether pleasant/unpleasant/neither? While life keeps lifing? We’re all different.  We all need different practices and permission to explore where we put comparison and rigidity aside. There is one big thing I share in this podcast about what ultimately helps us return again and again to what helps us expand into our greatest intentions for ourselves.  Listen in and see what that is. Whether your regular or daily practice is meditation, journaling, feeding yourself well, budgeting, showing up for therapy or healing work, a movement practice… can you find a way to fight for yourself and what matters most… whole-heartedly?  Here’s how. Ask yourself… “what is the most loving thing I can do in this moment?” Maybe today it’s 3 breaths and saying “it’s safe to feel this.”  Whatever it is. Start listening in to your mind/heart/body and see if you can show up as best you can.  It takes practice and remind yourself you get to start over and have do-overs anytime. Connect With Shelby: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Free 1:1 25-Minute Connection Call⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Newsletter Sign Up + Free 7 Day Guided Course ⁠⁠Body of Work⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@fierceheart.shelbyleigh⁠⁠

Start here and see where you go with your practice(s). Have you ever started a practice thinking it would help you get to where you want to go?  Only to realize a day or weeks or months in that it felt impossible to keep going?  This applies to everything from exercise to meditation to money management to therapy or coaching or nutrition.  If resistance didn’t exist… there are so many more possibilities of healing.  Check out this episode to learn about how to move from stuck to effortless over time.  I explore concepts around why we stop or get stuck or shut down and how we can compassionately and curiously move towards ease and flow in showing up in our lives in a way that is nourishing and wildly supportive so that we can move towards our greatest goals of self-trust, freedom, awakening, strength, power, steadiness, flow, connection, AND MORE. Connect With Shelby: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Free 1:1 25-Minute Connection Call⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Healing Through Wholeness⁠ ⁠Body of Work⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@fierceheart.shelbyleigh⁠⁠

This episode we bring something different. Mari Mu interviews me, Shelby Leigh on my thoughts and views around a new paradigm of healing. It's a revolutionary path towards trauma healing and beyond. Both practitioners and folks in a process of healing their own trauma will take something meaningful away from this episode. We also talk about an exciting new 9-Month offering that starts in September 2024! Connect With Shelby: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Free 1:1 25-Minute Connection Call⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Healing Through Wholeness Body of Work ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@fierceheart.shelbyleigh⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Connect with Mari: www.mari.mu