Advertise on podcast: Our TFMR Stories | Our decisions, our grief, real true parent stories
Rating
5from
This podcast has
84 episodes
Language
EnglishExplicit
Yes
Date created
2022/01/04
Latest episode
2026/09/25
Average duration
34 min.
Release period
7 days
Description
Pregnancy loss grief support for parents who terminated a wanted pregnancy for medical reasons. Real TFMR stories, decision support, and understanding in the isolation.Host Sabrina Fletcher is a TFMR loss mom & pregnancy loss doula who understands your choice and experience. Episodes include real TFMR parent stories + support from grief therapists & baby loss professionals.Facing a TFMR decision or grieving after, you'll find community here:Support & connection: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/facebookgroup.htmlDecision Support call: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/decision-support.html
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Check latest episodes from Our TFMR Stories | Our decisions, our grief, real true parent stories podcast
What to expect with spiritual healing after termination │ Layers of Recovery after TFMR (Part 3 of 3)
2026/09/25
I was angry at God, the Universe, Mother Nature, Everything! after my TFMR. My spiritual life was turned upside down after going through ending a wanted pregnancy. The diagnosis, the decision, the termination - it ripped my heart and soul into a thousand pieces. In this episode I talk about my spiritual recovery after TFMR, what that looked like, what you may experience as well, what to expect after a termination for medical reasons.
Listen in if you are wondering how to heal spiritually, if your soul feels wounded after losing a baby in such a heartbreaking and misunderstood way. It can shine some light on what you are going through and give you some hope that you too can recover after terminating a wanted pregnancy.
In this 3-part series, I'm sharing how we *really* heal - physically, emotionally, and spiritually after TFMR.
Part 1 (previous episode) - Physical Recovery
Part 2 (previous episode) - Emotional Recovery
Part 3 (THIS EPISODE) - Spiritual Recovery
TODAY: What to expect with spirituall healing after termination │Layers of Recovery after TFMR (Day 3 of 3)
And for more care and support through your own recovery, you are invited to our small group, next rounds of Ascend TFMR Grief Circle now open. We have a spot for you: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/ascend-apply - the next groups are starting October 11th (Noon Eastern time) and October 14th (7pm Eastern time)
If you want to join in the live streams of these episodes we are in the Facebook group “Our TFMR Stories” - to become a free member join us here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/facebookgroup
🎙 Want to share your story on the podcast? Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com
Music credit: "Pamgaea" Kevin MacLeod ( https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search ) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
What to expect with emotional healing after termination │Layers of Recovery after TFMR (Part 2 of 3)
2026/09/23
Baby loss, let alone TFMR!, is rarely talked about so of course you may feel in the dark about what your emotional healing and recovery may look like afterwards. Many of the distressing and hard emotions of termination pregnancy loss - guilt, what-ifs, despair, exhaustion, jealousy - may feel shocking and like they are coming at you all at once and all together. In this episode I gently detangle where and why you may be feeling what you are after ending a wanted pregnancy and how to move towards emotional recovery.
I also talk about why acknowledging and caring for the toughest emotions is a KEY first step in your healing after TFMR.
In this 3-part series, I'm sharing how we *really* heal - physically, emotionally, and spiritually after TFMR.
Part 1 (previous episode) - Physical Recovery
Part 2 (TODAY'S EPISODE) - Emotional Recovery
Part 3 (Thurs. Sept. 24th) - Spiritual Recovery
TODAY: What to expect with emotional healing after termination │Layers of Recovery after TFMR (Day 2 of 3)
And for more care and support through your own recovery, you are invited to our small group, next rounds of Ascend TFMR Grief Circle now open. We have a spot for you: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/ascend-apply - the next groups are starting October 11th (Noon Eastern time) and October 14th (7pm Eastern time)
If you want to join in the live streams of these episodes we are in the Facebook group “Our TFMR Stories” - to become a free member join us here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/facebookgroup
🎙 Want to share your story on the podcast? Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com
Music credit: "Pamgaea" Kevin MacLeod ( https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search ) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
What to expect with physical healing after termination │ Layers of Recovery after TFMR (Part 1 of 3)
2026/09/22
We’re sharing what we wished someone would have told us about what to expect healing-wise after your TFMR. I’m listing out all the physical affects of ending a wanted pregnancy and reading stories from the group about their physical recover after termination baby loss.
'Cause I know for me the "call if the bleeding is heavier than a period" and nothing more was NOT enough info. We deserve SOOOO much better.
So in this 3-part series, I'm sharing how we *really* heal - physically, emotionally and spiritually after TFMR.
Part 1 (this episode) - Physical Recovery
Part 2 (Wed. Sept. 23rd) - Emotional Recovery
Part 3 (Thurs. Sept. 24th) - Spiritual Recovery
TODAY: What to expect with physical healing after termination │Layers of Recovery after TFMR (Day 1 of 3)
And for more care and support through your own recovery, you are invited to our small group, next rounds of Ascend TFMR Grief Circle now open. We have a spot for you: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/ascend-apply - some of the information was cut off in this recording since I was streaming live, but the next groups are starting October 11th (Noon Eastern time) and October 14th (7pm Eastern time)
If you want to join in the live streams of these episodes we are in the Facebook group “Our TFMR Stories” - to become a free member join us here: Join Facebook TFMR support group
Other links mentioned:
FOR HELP PACKING/PREPARING FOR A TFMR
https://www.messypregnancy.com/post/supplies-for-a-termination-for-medical-reasons Robin Imholte
https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/birth-plans-download.html (D&E and labor plans BOTH available + packing list)
FOR PELVIC FLOOR SUPPORT AFTER TFMR
Tenae Bascherini https://www.instagram.com/tenaebascherini/
🎙 Want to share your story on the podcast? Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com
Music credit: "Pamgaea" Kevin MacLeod ( https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search ) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
TFMR procedures - what we wish medical professionals would have explained
2026/09/12
After and within the huge decision to end a wanted pregnancy for health reasons, you have to make many many micro-decisions. And you can't know what you don't know - cue medical staff who can orient and guide us through it in the best of cases.
In this episode I share from the community about procedure & memory making options you wish the doctors/staff/social workers/bereavement midwives did or could have EXPLAINED better, or OFFERED, or SAID through the whole diagnosis/termination.
TFMR parents share their experiences with termination procedures and what they wished medical staff had explained & offered - as well as what did go right and what was the most helpful.
I also talk about rituals/remembrance items/right language that ARE offered and used at many place people have terminations for medical reasons & what was the most impactful.
To see the reviews of U.S. TFMR Hospitals and Clinics I am talking about in this episode go here: www.thetfmrdoula.com/reviews
...
And in this episode I talk about all the TFMR circles and communities I gather. You're invited to join the space that could work for you, places just for TFMR parents:
TFMR GRIEF CIRCLE PROGRAM:
If you're longing for intimate, ongoing support with the same small group, apply now for the Ascend TFMR Grief Circle
💜 Small, intimate groups of 5–6 people, we stay together for 3 months
💬 Real conversations, healing practices, and community support
🌿 Wed. 7pm Eastern time round begins Oct. 7th, Sun. Noon Eastern time round begins Oct. 11th
👉 Info & joining us: http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/ascend-apply
THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARY:
The TFMR Support Sanctuary: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby.
💜 A safe place to feel whole again and honor your baby & feel the strength to get through another day
💬 Live circles every couple of weeks, replays always available and JUST as powerful
💜 Month-to-month, as you need support
🌸 $55/month
Join us: http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/join
FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:
Join other TFMR parents who just GET it and are here to listen and hold you. PLUS you'll get early access to new podcast episodes just like this one and a chance to ask questions live or have your comment/story be part of an episode. All in our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle.
Witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. Share your story in our CLOSED group, and hear how others like you are getting through.
Application only, free membership: http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup
🎙 Want to share your story on the podcast? Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com
Music credit: "Pamgaea" Kevin MacLeod ( https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search ) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
(Part 2 of 2) Life & recovery after TFMR for T21 & hydrops with Catt Gibbons
2026/09/09
Catt Gibbons shares (Part 2 of 2) about her mental and physical recovery after TFMR for T21 & hydrops, and how having so much compassion for herself after the decision has helped the most in her life after terminating her wanted pregnancy for health reasons.
Catt talks about finding TFMR support groups as KEY to her healing. Advocating for herself and getting follow-up care with bleeding and retained placenta helped her physical recovery. Taking time to cry and to listen to music, and speaking out about TFMR has helped her so much. Being kind with herself when she finds herself feeling guilt or what-ifs, especially when reading miraculous survival stories, that are not our stories or reality.
You can find Catt on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/catt.gibbons/
And you’re invited to join us in these TFMR spaces, just for parents who have had to end a wanted pregnancy for their or baby’s health:
TFMR GRIEF CIRCLE PROGRAM:
If you're longing for intimate, ongoing support with the same small group, apply now for the Ascend TFMR Grief Circle
💜 Small, intimate groups of 5–6 people, we stay together for 3 months
💬 Real conversations, healing practices, and community support
🌿 Wed. 7pm Eastern time round begins Oct. 7th, Sun. Noon Eastern time round begins Oct. 11th
👉 Info & joining us: http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/ascend-apply
FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:
Join other TFMR parents who just GET it and are here to listen and hold you.
PLUS you'll get early access to new podcast episodes just like this one and a chance to ask questions live or have your comment/story be part of an episode. All in our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. Witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. Share your story in our CLOSED group, and hear how others like you are getting through.
Application only, free membership:
http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup
🎙 Want to share your story on the podcast?
Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com
Music credit:
"Pamgaea" Kevin MacLeod ( https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search )
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
(Part 1 of 2) How Catt Gibbons decided to end her wanted pregnancy for T21 and hydrops | TFMR for Down's Syndrome & Hydrops
2026/09/08
Catt Gibbons shares (Part 1 of 2) how to be so kind and compassionate to yourself after TFMR. The compassion and care stared in how she decided to TFMR and the care she received through the process and procedure.
Catt went through TFMR for her little boy Noah for a T21 and hydrops diagnosis. She found out her baby was poorly in pregnancy at 12 weeks along. From there the prenatal diagnosis of T21 followed, and follow-up for hydrops in the weeks that followed led Catt to need to end her wanted pregnancy.
Listen in to Part 2 of 2 (coming out tomorrow) to hear about Catt’s mental and physical recovery after TFMR baby loss.
You can find Catt on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/catt.gibbons/
And you’re invited to join us in these TFMR spaces, just for parents who have had to end a wanted pregnancy for their or baby’s health:
TFMR GRIEF CIRCLE PROGRAM:
If you're longing for intimate, ongoing support with the same small group, apply now for the Ascend TFMR Grief Circle
💜 Small, intimate groups of 5–6 people, we stay together for 3 months
💬 Real conversations, healing practices, and community support
🌿 Wed. 7pm Eastern time round begins Oct. 7th, Sun. Noon Eastern time round begins Oct. 11th
👉 Info & joining us: http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/ascend-apply
FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:
Join other TFMR parents who just GET it and are here to listen and hold you.
PLUS you'll get early access to new podcast episodes just like this one and a chance to ask questions live or have your comment/story be part of an episode. All in our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. Witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. Share your story in our CLOSED group, and hear how others like you are getting through.
Application only, free membership:
http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup
🎙 Want to share your story on the podcast?
Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com
Music credit:
"Pamgaea" Kevin MacLeod ( https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search )
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
TFMR is intentional birth - TFMR parents share their birth choice stories
2026/09/04
I recently watched an interview of someone who had carried to term after a grave diagnosis, and the interviewer kept going on and on about how “intentional” this choice was. Which, yes, it IS an intentional choice, but I was stuck by how TFMR is rarely seen as “so intentional and wonderful” AS WELL AS CTT (continuing to term).
So I decided to bring light to the deep INTENTION within the termination for medical reasons experience, since it is so often not spoken about or very misunderstood.
I went into our TFMR Support Circle Facebook group and asked fellow parents/moms/dads in there about THEIR stories of the intention in their decisions and births and birthing choices.
This episode is for you if you’ve been feeling how TFMR is often misunderstood or seen as “less than.” You’ll hear me talk about why and where this systemic misunderstanding is coming from, and how that can even hurt us after the fact and make us question the love and intentionality in our loving choices.
And in this episode we invite you to join us in the TFMR space that could work for you, places just for TFMR parents:
TFMR GRIEF CIRCLE PROGRAM:
If you're longing for intimate, ongoing support with the same small group, apply now for the Ascend TFMR Grief Circle
💜 Small, intimate groups of 5–6 people, we stay together for 3 months
💬 Real conversations, healing practices, and community support
🌿 Wed. 7pm Eastern time round begins Oct. 7th, Sun. Noon Eastern time round begins Oct. 11th
👉 Info & joining us: http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/ascend-apply
THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARY:
The TFMR Support Sanctuary: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby.
💜 A safe place to feel whole again and honor your baby & feel the strength to get through another day
💬 Live circles every couple of weeks, replays always available and JUST as powerful
💜 Month-to-month, as you need support
🌸 $55/month
Join us: www.theTFMRdoula.com/join
FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:
Join other TFMR parents who just GET it and are here to listen and hold you.
PLUS you'll get early access to new podcast episodes just like this one and a chance to ask questions live or have your comment/story be part of an episode. All in our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. Witness the raw, unedited version of solo episodes like this one before anyone else. Share your story in our CLOSED group, and hear how others like you are getting through.
Application only, free membership:
http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup
🎙 Want to share your story on the podcast?
Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com
Music credit:
"Pamgaea" Kevin MacLeod ( https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search )
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Getting through the grief after a TFMR for brain anomalies & rare genetic condition - Morgan Meaut shares her baby Collins' story (part 2 of 2)
2026/08/10
Morgan continues sharing her story (part 2 of 2) of life and grief and healing after a termination for medical reasons for a rare genetic disorder in her baby girl Collins.
…
Morgan shares how this podcast and the community has helped immensely throughout her grief and TFMR journey over the months since her loss.
Living in Atlanta, Georgia, Morgan faced steep legal difficulties to obtain a termination at nearly 24 weeks gestation. Ultimately, the state of Georgia approved her case, and she underwent a termination at 23 weeks and 6 days at an abortion clinic. It was the worst day of her life.
Since the death of her daughter, Morgan has been on a journey of learning how to survive unimaginable grief while still showing up as a mother to her living child, and also learning how to continue being a mother to Collins — honoring her, loving her, and carrying her, even though she is no longer earthside.
Resources mentioned:
Self-care guide: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/tfmr-self-care.html
Morgan's Instagram: www.instagram.com/morgan_love_11
Morgan's email: [email protected]
To meet with Sabrina schedule your Connect Chat and find * your * way through with groups/1on1: http://www.thetfmrdoula.com/schedule-call
And in this episode we invite you to join us in this space, just for TFMR parents:
THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARY
If you're carrying the weight of your TFMR alone... you don't have to anymore.
The TFMR Support Sanctuary: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby.
💜 A safe place to feel whole again and honor your baby & feel the strength to get through another day
💬 Live circles every couple of weeks, replays always available and JUST as powerful
💜 Month-to-month, as you need support
🌸 $55/month
Join us: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/join
...
FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:
Join other TFMR parents who just GET it and are here to listen and hold you.
PLUS you'll get early access to new podcast episodes and a chance to ask questions live. All in our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. You'll get to witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. You can also join in live and share your comments and get your questions answered to shape the episodes.
Application only, free membership:
http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup
...
🎙 Want to share your story?
Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com
...
Music credit:
"Pamgaea" Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search
)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
How Morgan Meaut decided to TFMR for brain anomalies & worst case scenario rare genetic condition in her baby Collins (part 1 of 2)
2026/08/10
Morgan Meaut shares her story of needing to terminate her wanted pregnancy for a rare genetic condition: 8p inverted duplication deletion syndrome, on the 23rd chromosome. Needing to make this decision for her baby girl Collins was one of the worst things she has ever been through.
At the 20-week anatomy scan Morgan and her husband received the devastating news. The ultrasound showed severe swelling, ventriculomegaly and single cord. A follow up MRI of the brain showed missing corpus collosum in Collins’ brain
This devastating diagnosis in pregnancy sent the couple on a four-week journey meeting with MFMs, genetic counselors, pediatric cardiologists, neurologists, and other specialists. Ultimately, through a genetic microarray they learned that Collins was worst case scenario. She had an extremely rare genetic condition: 8p inverted & duplication & deletion all on the 23rd chromosome. A very rare and large triple condition.
Morgan was told that if Collins survived birth and infancy, she would be profoundly disabled — likely nonverbal, unable to live independently, and requiring lifelong full-time care.
Morgan knew that was not the life they wanted for their baby.
She was living in the state of Georgia at the time of her TFMR and had to pass a state board to approve the abortion.
This is part 1 of 2 of Morgan's story where she shares how they made their decision to end their much wanted pregnancy.
Morgan's Instagram: www.instagram.com/morgan_love_11
Morgan's email: [email protected]
....
To meet with Sabrina schedule your Connect Chat and find * your * way through with groups/1on1: http://www.thetfmrdoula.com/schedule-call
And in this episode we invite you to join us in this space, just for TFMR parents:
THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARY
If you're carrying the weight of your TFMR alone... you don't have to anymore.
The TFMR Support Sanctuary: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby.
💜 A safe place to feel whole again and honor your baby & feel the strength to get through another day
💬 Live circles every couple of weeks, replays always available and JUST as powerful
💜 Month-to-month, as you need support
🌸 $55/month
Join us: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/join
FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:
Join other TFMR parents who just GET it and are here to listen and hold you.
PLUS you'll get early access to new podcast episodes and a chance to ask questions live. All in our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. You'll get to witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. You can also join in live and share your comments and get your questions answered to shape the episodes.
Application only, free membership:
http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup
🎙 Want to share your story?
Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com
Music credit:
"Pamgaea" Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search
)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
(Part 2 of 2) Grew up "pro-life" & now a repro freedom advocate, Jayme Serbell | Life after TFMR and traumatic reproductive experiences
2026/07/23
Jayme shares about life after TFMR, after miscarriages, after ectopic loss.
Jayme shares her two biggest anchors that have helped her healing and grief after ending a wanted pregnancy (selective reduction) and all her reproductive losses. The unhelpful things that people say DO NOT help "at least you know you can get pregnant" ...and Jayme shares what does, her meditation practices, writing, advocacy, a storytelling. If you've been wondering "how will I get through the grief? How can I get through this?" this episode is for you.
Jayme loves connecting and wants to share her Instagram page with you, so reach out to her there:
www.instagram.com/jaymesharesthings
She recently shared her story in Vogue magazine: https://www.vogue.com/article/the-abortion-that-made-me-a-parent
...
To meet with Sabrina schedule your Connect Chat and find * your * way through with groups/1on1: http://www.thetfmrdoula.com/schedule-call
And in this episode we invite you to join us in this space, just for TFMR parents:
THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARY
If you're carrying the weight of your TFMR alone... you don't have to anymore.
The TFMR Support Sanctuary: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby.
💜 A safe place to feel whole again and honor your baby & feel the strength to get through another day
💬 Live circles every couple of weeks, replays always available and JUST as powerful
💜 Month-to-month, as you need support
🌸 $55/month
Join us: www.theTFMRdoula.com/join
FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:
Join other TFMR parents who just GET it and are here to listen and hold you.
PLUS you'll get early access to new podcast episodes and a chance to ask questions live. All in our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. You'll get to witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. You can also join in live and share your comments and get your questions answered to shape the episodes.
Application only, free membership:
http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup
🎙 Want to share your story?
Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com
Music credit:
"Pamgaea" Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search
)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
(Part 1 of 2) TFMR for TTTS - twin to twin transfusion syndrome, & ectopic abortion with Jayme Serbell | How she decided to have a selective reduction
2026/07/23
After 3 miscarriages, Jayme found out she was pregnant with twins. They were overjoyed, but then around 17 weeks a poor prenatal diagnosis was found in one baby, and eventually an even worse condition TTTS (twin to twin transfusion syndrome) was found and one baby was actively dying 💔 The only way to save the other baby was to intervene with a termination, also called "selective reduction." The delivery of the babies ended up in complications that no one saw coming.
Jayme also shares how the grief and trauma affected her postpartum period. She found it very hard to find grief spaces that could hold ALL her losses and all the details of the termination intervention.
Her next pregnancy also ended in tragedy, with a surgical intervention for an ectopic.
This is part 1 of 2 with Jayme Serbell
Jayme loves connecting and wants to share her Instagram page with you, so reach out to her there:
www.instagram.com/jaymesharesthings
She recently shared her story in Vogue magazine: https://www.vogue.com/article/the-abortion-that-made-me-a-parent
...
To meet with Sabrina schedule your Connect Chat and find * your * way through with groups/1on1: http://www.thetfmrdoula.com/schedule-call
And in this episode we invite you to join us in this space, just for TFMR parents:
THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARY
If you're carrying the weight of your TFMR alone... you don't have to anymore.
The TFMR Support Sanctuary: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby.
💜 A safe place to feel whole again and honor your baby & feel the strength to get through another day
💬 Live circles every couple of weeks, replays always available and JUST as powerful
💜 Month-to-month, as you need support
🌸 $55/month
Join us: www.theTFMRdoula.com/join
FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:
Join other TFMR parents who just GET it and are here to listen and hold you.
PLUS you'll get early access to new podcast episodes and a chance to ask questions live. All in our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. You'll get to witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. You can also join in live and share your comments and get your questions answered to shape the episodes.
Application only, free membership:
http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup
🎙 Want to share your story?
Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com
Music credit:
"Pamgaea" Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search
)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Regret after TFMR | Coping with the big and small decisions of termination baby loss
2026/07/15
Sabrina talks about regret after ending a wanted pregnancy and how it rarely looks the way people expect. Sometimes it's not regret over the decision to interrupt the pregnancy, but over the “smaller” (still huge) pieces around it... not taking enough pictures, not holding your baby long enough, declining genetic testing in a moment you weren't in the right headspace for. Sometimes the regret is about how you were treated during your termination for medical reasons... coerced, under-informed, never told what a labor and delivery induction would actually feel like, or that a funeral was even an option. And sometimes it's that tight, familiar pit in your stomach: what if my baby’s condition had changed, was the diagnosis severe enough to choose TFMR, could I have handled a "good enough" outcome after all.
If you've been Googling “how to cope with regret after TFMR” or "is it normal to regret my TFMR”, or you swing back and forth between peace and guilt sometimes in the same breath, you're not broken and you didn't make the wrong call. Sabrina gets into why TFMR grief and regret get weaponized against parents online, why gray diagnoses and "good enough" outcomes can torture us just as much as a fatal one, and the reframe that's helped her most in her own healing... that regret, underneath all of it, IS love and comes from love.
And in this episode we invite you to join us in this space, just for TFMR parents:
THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARY
If you're carrying the weight of your TFMR alone... you don't have to anymore.
The TFMR Support Sanctuary: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby.
💜 A safe place to feel whole again and honor your baby & feel the strength to get through another day
💬 Live circles every couple of weeks, replays always available and JUST as powerful
💜 Month-to-month, as you need support
🌸 $55/month
Join us: www.theTFMRdoula.com/join
FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:
Join other TFMR parents who just GET it and are here to listen and hold you.
PLUS you'll get early access to new podcast episodes just like this one and a chance to ask questions live or have your comment/story be part of an episode. All in our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. Witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. Share your story in our CLOSED group, and hear how others like you are getting through.
Application only, free membership:
http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup
🎙 Want to share your story on the podcast?
Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com
Music credit:
"Pamgaea" Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search )
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Obvious & subtle ways grief spaces fail TFMR parents
2026/07/08
Sabrina shares the unfortunate comments she and others in the community have heard about TFMR: "But how old were you when it happened?" "Well that's not reeeeally an abortion." "I would never..."
Comments like these can actually feel MORE harmful that direct insults to TFMR/baby loss/abortion. Because other people around, or group leaders, or fellow general grievers might not "get" how painful these subtle things feel to TFMR parents. So we're talking about it!
SMALL GROUP TFMR GRIEF CIRCLE
If you are looking for care and love and tools for the shame, guilt, longing & grief after TFMR, you are invited to join us. Our upcoming grief circles are open July 8th & July 12th start dates: small group in Ascend http://www.thetfmrdoula.com/ascend-apply
To meet with Sabrina schedule your Connect Chat and find * your * way through with groups/1on1: http://www.thetfmrdoula.com/schedule-call
FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:
Join other TFMR parents who just GET it and are here to listen and hold you.
PLUS you'll get early access to new podcast episodes and a chance to ask questions live. All in our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. You'll get to witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. You can also join in live and share your comments and get your questions answered to shape the episodes.
Application only, free membership:
http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup
🎙 Want to share your story?
Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com
Music credit:
"Pamgaea" Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search )
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
How we decided - TFMR for T21 with Bianca Johnson (Part 1 of 2)
2026/07/05
How we decided - TFMR for T21 & grey diagnosis. Bianca Johnson shares her baby boy's down syndrome diagnosis and all the other pregnancy complications that came into play on her decision and more. Sabrina also shares lots of stories from other TFMR parents who also had a T21 diagnosis and how they decided to end their wanted pregnancies too.
Bianca Johnson had already been through 6 pregnancy losses when she found herself in the impossible space of a T21 down syndrome diagnosis. What guided her decision to terminate wasn't just the medical appointments, CVS test results, or the terrifying words from a maternal-fetal medicine specialist who listed every way this pregnancy could kill her. It was a dream she'd had weeks before... a child standing at a crossroads, refusing to cross, saying simply: this is as far as I go.
When the T21 diagnosis finally came, Bianca already knew. The baby had told her.
In this Part 1 of 2, Bianca, empowerment coach and author of All of These Lines, shares the raw, layered story of how she and her husband decided to have an abortion in their T21 pregnancy in South Africa. If you're in the middle of a gray diagnosis and wondering how anyone ever makes this decision... this episode is for you.
You can find Part 2 of 2: "Life after TFMR for T21 & grey diagnosis" on Bianca's pregnancy loss and healing YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePOCM0HZPVQ so follow over there too 💜 https://www.youtube.com/@i.am.biancajohnson
And to get Bianca's book "All of These Lines" here:
https://bookshop.org/p/books/all-of-these-lines-my-story-of-pregnancy-loss-and-hope-bianca-johnson/eb6882e3d9dda91f?ean=9781049206943&next=t
https://www.amazon.com/All-These-Lines-Story-Pregnancy-ebook/dp/B0FTCWPRQZ/
And if you are ready for more holding, our small group Ascend TFMR Grief Circle is starting in July 8th. Your story, T21, chromosomal defects, grey through fatal, medically necessary for your body or mental health, WELCOME with us. We want to light a candle for your baby https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/ascend-apply
Want early access to new podcast episodes and a chance to ask questions live? Join our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. You'll get to witness the raw, unedited version of my solo episodes before anyone else. You can also join in live and share your comments and get your questions answered to shape the episodes.Application only, free membership:
http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup
🎙 Want to share your story?
Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com
Music credit:
"Pamgaea" Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search )
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Brain abnormalities at 20 week scan: Katie's TFMR story for corpus callosum agenesis, hydrocephalus and small cerebellum
2026/07/01
Katie, a TFMR and multiple miscarriage mom and mom to two living kids shares her baby's story. Her daughter had a constellation of brain abnormalities - absent corpus callosum, fluid in the brain, and a small cerebellum - discovered at the 20 week scan.
Katie knew something was off before the doctor had even spoke. At this 20-week anatomy scan, Katie caught a measurement on the screen that said 16 weeks... and then the doctor delivered the devastating news that her daughter’s brain abnormalities would mean congenital blindness and severe mobility disabilities.
Because of abortion restrictions in Florida, Katie had to figure out how to leave the state to say goodbye to her daughter the way she chose.
Katie shares her story just 2.5 weeks out - raw, clear, and utterly without shame. She talks about navigating a gray diagnosis with no guarantees, flying to Virginia for her D&E while visibly pregnant, telling her living children the truth, and what it means to stand behind a decision that the world keeps trying to make complicated. For Katie the decision was clear, this is how she decided to end her wanted pregnancy.
Katie received help with funding for travel through The Brigid Alliance: https://brigidalliance.org/
MORE TFMR GRIEF SUPPORT:
If you are looking for care and love and tools for the shame, guilt, longing & grief after TFMR, you are invited to join us. Our upcoming grief circles are open: small group in Ascend http://www.thetfmrdoula.com/ascend-apply We start in July 2026
To meet with Sabrina schedule your Connect Chat and find * your * way through with groups/1on1: http://www.thetfmrdoula.com/schedule-call
FREE FACEBOOK GROUP:
Join other TFMR parents who just GET it and are here to listen and hold you.
PLUS you'll get early access to new podcast episodes and a chance to ask questions live. All in our private Facebook group, the TFMR Support Circle. Application only, free membership:
http://www.theTFMRdoula.com/facebookgroup
🎙 Want to share your story?
Email Sabrina to be featured on the podcast: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com
Music credit:
"Pamgaea" Kevin MacLeod (https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300036&Search=Search )
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Podcast reviews
Read Our TFMR Stories | Our decisions, our grief, real true parent stories podcast reviews
Sakeena A. 2024/06/26
Fantastic podcast! Highly recommend
Absolutely wonderful podcast! I am not going through this situation but wanted to educate myself ❤️ thank you for this! If I may give one piece of con...
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