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Blessings! My sanghas are currently practicing autumn Ango, a period of more intensified practice together in community. Here in Columbus the Mud Lotus Sangha did a half-day retreat, which consisted of five hours of zazen and walking meditation. We sat for 50-minutes, walked for 10 minutes and then repeated for a full afternoon. Sitting in the silence of mind’s nature as the city stirred. The vow of loving kindness illuminating my heart, as the body sat upright and we peered together into our aliveness. The Zen Community of Oregon is studying the Diamond Sutra this Ango. This dharma talk explores the first chapter of that sutra. This is what I once heard said. The Most Honored was residing near Shravasti in Jeta’s Grove at the Provider for the Defenseless Park along with a large gathering of twelve hundred and fifty monks and a great many bodhisattva-mahasattvas. That morning the Most Honored put on his robes, picked up his alms bowl, and went to the city of Shravasti to seek alms. When he returned from his alms round in Shravasti, he made offerings with the alms food, ate what remained, put away his robes and bowl, and washed his feet. He sat down on the seat prepared for him, crossed his legs, straightened his body, and rested in clear presence. Then many monks gathered around him. They bowed, touched their heads to his feet, walked around him three times, and sat down together. Here we witness the Buddha performing ordinary daily life tasks. He puts on his clothes, he picks up his bowl, he walks, he has exchanges of giving and receiving on his alms round, he makes offerings, he eats, he puts away his robe and bow, he washes his feet. Many of these activities are part of the flow of our daily life. Part of the mythology surrounding the historical Buddha was that before he went on his alms round (which he did daily), he would scan the local area in the depth of his meditation and see if there was a being in the need of his visit. The Buddha was considered an unsurpassable field of merit. To give to the Buddha could transform someone’s life. To meet the Buddha may be healing, it may inspire someone to take refuge in the dharma, or to ordain, it might help them have an insight into the nature of suffering and thereby experience liberation. In exchange for food, the Buddha taught the dharma. The Buddha offered the medicine of these teachings of compassion and wisdom. In this practice of alms, the giver was invited into generosity. They were invited to make an offering of food. Generosity was regarded as a practice that calms the heart and awakens faith. This story isn’t just about the Buddha going on alms round. It’s about the alms round of our daily life. It’s an invitation to notice all of these exchanges we are a part of. How we give and receive, how we make offerings—what are the ways you practice generosity? Does it calm your heart, does giving awaken faith? How are you the recipient of generosity? This passage of the sutra also encourages us to attend to the details of our daily life as dharma activity, as compassionate activity. To care for our bodies, our clothes, our bowls, our food, our relationships, our activity. This life is a ritual. This life is a sutra. We are writing this sutra with each breath, with each gesture, with each word we speak. This sutra is being chanted, being sung by all the beings that make up our life. Listen! Listen! Weekly Online Meditation Event through ZCO Monday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. We are currently exploring the Diamond Sutra Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINK In-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus Sangha Weekly Meditations every morning, Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday I’m back in Columbus for a while, and we have a lot happening. Check out our website for retreats, weekly meditations and other events. The Central Ohio Astrology Group is hosting our first big event a Venus Retrograde Gathering: An Immersive Evening of Astrology, Collage, Meditation & Ritual at ILLIO 17 E Tulane Rd on Saturday November 7 from 3P - 6:30P 1 Invocation of Venus with astrologer and astromage Eli Gamble 2 The Venus archetype and your natal Venus with astrologer Shawn Casey 3 Meditation on the retrograde cycle with astrologer Amy Kisei 4 Collage workshop with artist Alissa Ohashi By the end of the afternoon, you’ll have created a unique planetary card filled with images and symbols that speak to Venus’s themes and your own experiences. Please RSVP by email to [email protected] I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amykisei.substack.com/subscribe

If we really allow ourselves to reflect on our direct experience of interconnection we can realize that this world is completely entangled with our own awareness. One analogy I appreciate is the analogy of bundles of reeds leaning against each other for support. If you remove one of the bundles, the others fall down. We lean together in a tilty world. Interconnection can be explored through each one of our senses. Notice how the world blossoms in your seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting. Shitou says in the Sandokai: All of the senses, all the things sensed— they interact without interaction. Interacting, they permeate one another. yet each remains in its own place. Notice how thoughts proliferate, taking us sometimes deeper into experience and other times down roads of confusion, anxiety, meanness. Elizabeth Namgyal Mattis says this about interdepdence: Since everything arises in dependence upon other factors, we can’t identify where one thing ends and another begins. We can’t find the edges of anything, and we begin to see that the world resists definition. This doesn’t mean our perceptions or thoughts are muddled. It’s just that, as much as we attempt to reach definitive conclusions about our selves, others, and our world, life continuously bursts from the seams of our beliefs and ideas. Because all things rely upon the ever-shifting nature of other elements, they will always remain uncapturable, beyond our ability to fathom them…. Yet because we are a part of the great nature of interdependence, everything we do influences life—everything matters. In a leaning, tilty world your compassionate vow to liberate all beings from suffering goes deep. This is Jizo’s vow, and something trustworthy that we can lean into. Weekly Online Meditation Event through ZCO Monday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. We are currently exploring the Identity of Relative and Absolute. Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINK In-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus Sangha Weekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday I’m back in Columbus for a while, and we have a lot happening. Check out our website for retreats, weekly meditations and other events. I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amykisei.substack.com/subscribe

Greetings! I am beginning a series of talks exploring the wisdom of Zen Master Shitou’s Sandokai, which is translated in various ways including: The Identity of Relative and Absolute, Being One and Many, The Harmony of Difference and Sameness. In this podcast dharma talk I explore the first stanza of the poem using Nelson Foster’s translation: The mind (heart) of the great sage of India was intimately conveyed (transmitted) from west to east. Though people may be sharp-witted or dull, there's no north and south in the Way. The deep spring sparkles in the pure light, its branches streaming through the darkness. Grasping at phenomena is the source of delusion; uniting with the absolute falls short of awakening. We explore the various ways one can point to our true nature— May these pointings aid in the recognition of what you already deeply know—the freedom and love of your own heart-mind. Dharma Talks from the Grasses, Trees and Great Earth Sesshin at Great Vow Zen Monastery are now posted. You can find them on the Zen Community of Oregon Website, as well as wherever you listen to podcasts. Research Participant Request I am taking classes in Buddhist Studies to complete my Mdiv. I am currently taking a class on Medicine and Healing, and one of my assignments is to conduct ethnographic research. I am looking for one volunteer who would be willing to be interviewed for three, 60-minute sessions. I will ask you questions about your experience with sickness, medicine and healing over the course of your life (this may be at times broad and at times specific). And I will hold space for you to tell your story. Please contact me if you are interested or if you have questions. Weekly Online Meditation Event through ZCO Monday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. We are currently exploring the Identity of Relative and Absolute. Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINK In-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus Sangha Weekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday I’m back in Columbus for a while, and we have a lot happening. Check out our website for retreats, weekly meditations and other events. I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amykisei.substack.com/subscribe

Greetings Friends, I am returning from the Grasses, Trees and Great Earth Sesshin at Great Vow Zen Monastery. An outdoor sesshin I have had the deep pleasure of co-leading for the past six years. During the sesshin we practiced various ways of listening to the dharma of the natural world, including: * Hearing with the eyes, heart, whole body. * Letting ourselves be seen by the sky, ferns, rocks and queen ann’s lace. * Becoming tree, black-berry, forest, ground. The great earth and sky speak the dharma through their constancy, reminding us that we too belong to this world, that our presence is medicine, that we aren’t separate or alone. Have you ever…(a poem) Have you ever, sat down with a tree and said hello, as if greeting a friend? And then listened to her story? Have you ever gazed into the face of a flower, with wonder and delight and asked how are you today? Have you ever laid down on the earth, and kissed her dry grasses, or soggy soils and let her touch you in 10k different ways? Have you ever held open your heart to the sky, in astonishment of their vastness and let them fill you with their roaring absence? Have you ever quieted your mind, and listened to the bird’s song how it accompanies the wind --as the grasses, leaves, flowers and trees all add their music? The natural world speaks in a voice before human words it is our native tongue Listen And you can almost remember how to hear it Another dharma theme that we explored during the sesshin was recognizing the contentment, pleasure and joy of meditation. This is a teaching that transformed the Buddha’s own path to liberation, and is such an important resource in our own practice. To know the satisfaction of not seeking satisfaction elsewhere. Are you afraid of this happiness? Lastly, I want to share the story of Senjo and her soul are separated, which is what we explore in this dharma talk. It is a Chinese folk-tale turned koan, that speaks to the sense of living a divided life and remembering home. The koan and it’s poem can be found below. Once, in a village by a river, a girl and a boy, second cousins, grew up together as inseparable companions. They were so close that the girl’s father once joked that they seemed married already. Eventually, they did fall in love. However, the girl’s father announced that she was to marry a different man. The girl, Senjo, and her sweetheart, Ochu, were devastated, and Ochu was so upset that he decided to take his boat and leave the village. Just as he began to sail down the river, he saw a shadowy figure standing on the riverbank. Senjo stepped into the boat and they escaped down river together. Five years passed. They had two children and were very happy, except that from time to time Senjo would burst into tears because she missed her family. They decided to return, and when they arrived home, Ochu went up to Senjo’s house to ask forgiveness for leaving with her. Her father seemed surprised, and said, “What? From the day you left, Senjo has been upstairs lying on her bed, looking so sad, and she’s never said a word.” Just then, Senjo from the boat arrived at the door, and suddenly the Senjo from upstairs appeared, smiling. The two Senjos looked at one another, smiled, and walked right into one another. Instantly, they became one. So the question is: “Senjo and her soul are separated. Which is the true one?” Mumon's Poem The moon above the clouds is ever the same mountains and valleys are separate from each other all is blessed, all is blessed are they one, or two? Have you ever felt like you were living two lives? What has helped you resolve this tension? What helps you return home? Weekly Online Meditation Event Monday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. We are currently exploring the Identity of Relative and Absolute. Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINK In-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus Sangha Weekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday I’m back in Columbus for a while, and we have a lot happening. Check out our website for retreats, weekly meditations and other events. I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amykisei.substack.com/subscribe

Greetings! It’s Leo season (how is it the over 50% of people I know are Leos?) I have had the joy of some travel over the past month—Mud Lotus Sangha did our first weeklong sesshin at Saranam Retreat Center in WV, I saw Bob Dylan in concert in Cincinnati and spent a few days on the Atlantic shore immersed in Ocean Mudra Samadhi. I’m back in Ohio for a couple of weeks and then I will be heading to Great Vow Zen Monastery for a jukai ceremony and our Grasses, Trees and the Great Earth Sesshin followed by a week of residency. Today though I want to share a koan that has been a companion for these last few weeks. It’s Case 36 in the Hidden Lamp: The Old Woman, Joshu and the Tiger. One day wehn Master Joshu was outside the monastery, he saw an old woman hoeing a field. He asked her, “What would you do if you suddenly met a fierce tiger?” She replied, “Nothing in this world frightens me,” and turned back to her hoeing. Joshu roared like a tiger. She roared back at him. Joshu said, “There’s still this.” One thing I love about koans like this is that they speak the language of awakening, right in the everyday activities of life. Imagine weeding in your garden, and someone came up to you and said. What would you do if you suddenly met a fierce tiger? What would you do? So Joshu is a seasoned Zen teacher, and this old woman is seasoned in the wisdom of life and may also be a Zen master. What is Joshu doing? Who is this tiger? Is he talking about her? About himself? Another teacher with insight? Tigers can refer to a zen adapt/teacher who is wise, fierce—dangerous for the ego. He also could be testing her. How do you stand with yourself? How do you stand with this fierce wilderness we call life/the world/spiritual path? He is also talking to us. How do you stand with the wild unknown? Nothing in this world frightens me. She says. She may also be saying, you don’t frighten me. I don’t frighten me. Here is someone seasoned in the wisdom of life, loss, change. She has lived through the death of loved ones, famines, wars, times of abundance. She has been child, maiden, mother, sister, friend, elder. And yet, she says, nothing in the world frightens me. That’s a powerful statement for anyone. Feel into that for a moment. Try it on. Say the words. Nothing in the world frightens me. Could that be true for you? Where do the words come from when you say them? What happens? Is there a place in you that is fearless? That doesn’t suppress fear, but also isn’t afraid of it? Or does the statement invoke fear, call forward the things that are unsettled in your heart? This koan invites us to study the dharma gate of fear. To truly study fear means we also study liberation, compassion, the refuge of the dharma, and everything else that is connected to fear. In my experience some fears are hidden, they arise in the moment—a living tiger comes (ever have an encounter with a wild animal?) or it comes in the form of diagnosis, job loss, stomach sickness. When fear arises we get to see its shape, and what else arises in its wake. Some fears arise in relationship to other emotions, some fears wake us up and connect us to what matters most, some leave us deeply present, some send us worrying or bring the body into a panic state. Other fears are more front and center. They are in response to the life we are living now. Do you have fears that you are navigating in your life now? How does fear arise? Do they come as images? Well acquainted worries? Memories? Parts of yourself? What happens in your body? What does fear feel like? Are other emotions present as well? How does the mind react to fear? Rilke says it this way in letters to a young poet, “Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love.” Dharma practice offers us supports in meeting fear. All the practices we have can be supports: mantra, breath, grounding in the senses, opening to spaciousness, feeling fear directly in the body. Often when we stay with fear and try to get to know it we see that it too is made of sensations, thoughts, memories, feelings—that arise and pass. Sometimes compassion arises or we have insights about the nature of fear and what is it connected to. As we practice with fear, confidence develops that we can feel fear. That we don’t have to be afraid of it. Tremendous inner power can come from this. Throughout spiritual traditions we see depictions of sages, buddhas, bodhisattvas, shamans, gods who have relationships with fierce animals, with tigers, lions, snakes, elephants. When we are no longer afraid of our fear. We can roar. Nothing in the world can frighten you. What is your experience practicing with fear? What practices support you in meeting the fears in your life? I had the opportunity to talk to Father John Gribowich (a friend/mentor from my high school days at Central Catholic, before either of us were priests) and David Plisky about my spiritual path, Zen Buddhist practice and its intersections with Catholicism in a episode entitled: Finding God in the Zendo , as part of their Religion to Reality podcast that is themed around listening and interfaith dialogue. Weekly Online Meditation Event Monday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. We are currently exploring the Hidden Lamp: Teaching from the Buddhist Women Ancestors Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINK In-Person in Oregon Grasses, Trees and the Great Earth Sesshin— August 10 - 16 at Great Vow Zen Monastery In-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus Sangha Weekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday Retreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website. I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amykisei.substack.com/subscribe

Greetings Friends, I have been reflecting on the art of living a life of attention and intention. This is an art form I have dedicated much of my life to, and one that continues to bear fruit as I continue to practice it. What is the art of living? How is attention an art? Last night I was walking home with my partner from meditation, it was dusk. The fire flies had just started to flutter about, offering their pulsating flashes of illumination. The air was warm, a gentle breeze. We took the “longer” route, through residential roads where cone flowers, milk weed, bee balm, lilies and zinnia are brimming and blooming in hell strips and front yards. My body felt satisfied. My heart was full. Appreciation stirred in my cells. As the world darkened and the moon beamed brighter. The art of attention opens us to the magic and mystery of this world we live in, this life that we inhabit. Without thinking about it, we experience a life-world-self that is interconnected, emergent, alive. The art of attention also allows us to actually experience our lives, to let things flow, change. To feel the processes that move through us, to notice when we are hooked into a limiting belief or narrative about ourselves and the world. To notice when we are shutting down a particular feeling or emotion. the art of feeling our lives This past Monday during our live online meditation group we read from the Hidden Lamp Case 23: Jiao-an’s Sand in the Eye. In it Jiao-an is told by her teacher Yuanwu, that she must, “erase all views” and then she “will finally be free.” Jiao-an responds to this in a verse: the pillar pulls out a bone sideways; the void shows its claws and fangs; even if one profoundly understands, there is still sand in the eye. In her commentary to the koan, Zenki Mary Mocine Roshi writes: When I began practice I struggled with what I took to be the instruction to suppress emotions. I heard that I would find equanimity by not having views, or emotions, and it seemed to me that I was being asked to give up my humanity and my personality. There may have been some such flavor to the teachings I heard, but I think I exaggerated it out of my own fear of the teaching of “no-self” and my own need to do it “right.” I have found that my life works when I do not try to suppress emotions or deny that I have views. When I deny them, they just sneak up on me later and cause problems. She goes on to share a memory about her early years of training at Tassajara where she did practice suppressing an emotion. She reflects: Had I allowed myself to feel the pain, to really physically experience it, I would have been able to let it go rather quickly. This is the emptiness of emotions. They arise, abide and pass away, but only if we allow them to arise in the first place. It is human to have emotions. However, it is our practice to not let them have us. In the years since that experience at Tassajara, I have learned to pay attention to my breath and my body. Then I’m suppressing something, my body feels heavy and my belly feels tense. Then I know to stop, breathe, and ask myself, “What is this?” I really appreciate how Zenki describes the emptiness of emotion, the tendency to suppress and how a certain hearing of the teachings/or experiences of emptiness or equanimity may lead us down the road to suppression. Part of the art of attention is the art of recognizing and then familiarizing ourselves with the empty yet apparent nature of experience. Sensations, thoughts, feelings, emotions, physical discomforts arise through the various causes and conditions that make-up our human life. We, as practitioners, as artists of the Way—can notice the composition of these sensations, feelings, thoughts and emotions. This is the courageous act of feeling our embodied experience, allowing emotions to arise and experiencing our lives. While this may seem simple in written word form—truly it is an embodied art. For we, as humans have developed habits for managing our experience. We have learned that certain feeling states are “bad” or “wrong” or “dangerous”. And have developed skill in ignoring, suppressing or pushing certain emotions away. On the other side there are feeling states, emotions, sensations, thoughts that we have deep habitual tendencies towards entertaining, getting identified with, and believing. The practice of emptiness is the art of experiencing life as it is. To allow what is happening to happen. To trust that we can feel our lives. I always love the analogy of experience being like weather, in that it is always moving through. Some feelings are stormy, some are bright, some emotions feel like layers of gray clouds, others like a light mist. Just like the sky allows the weather to pass through it—the sky of awareness allows the weather of emotion and feeling to move through us. The sky’s spaciousness is unobstructed by the weather, the clarity and openness of awareness is unobstructed by the panic, grief, fear, pain that passes through us. the many faces of suppression Sometimes on the road to realizing emptiness, we practice suppression. This could be because we want to do it right or good. Because we think we shouldn’t be feeling certain things or because certain feelings are uncomfortable. Also, because we are trying not to indulge or get hooked by the story and we haven’t quite learned or don’t quite trust that we can feel it and it will liberate itself. Or maybe we have experience of parts of us doing or saying really painful unskillful things, and at present the tool we have for working with them is to suppress or push them down. The art of attention is the art of noticing. As Zenki says in her commentary, we can begin to notice the tendency to suppress, the beliefs that surround this tendency and from there we can start to get curious about actually feeling the feeling itself. Practice is a practice of self-study, of awareness. There is not a set method for feeling our lives. Sometimes the path to feeling is through self-compassion and loving kindness, sometimes through including them in the breath, sometimes opening to the space around them, sometimes as we courageously open to our direct experience the way opens up—something unexpected arises to meet us. My experience is there are feelings I am not used to feeling and when they arise my mind can get really active about trying to figure out, fix or solve them. Sadness came up a few weeks ago when a client’s story touched something personal that was similar enough to something happening in the collective. After I finished my sessions for the evening, I watched my mind bounce into anger, blame, and then search and search for a story, a reason I was feeling the way I was feeling. But as I let myself feel the feelings themselves—tears came, then compassion and peace. Another more common way I experience this is I can get frustrated with certain people, and stay in the story of what they did or didn’t do. When I notice that I am doing this and let myself feel the feeling underneath I often discover that the feeling is really different then the story I am telling myself. I also find that through feeling the feelings, often clarity arises about how to respond in the relationship. Do you have experiences of turning towards a feeling or emotion that you did’t want to feel? What happened? What does suppression feel like, sound like or look like for you? What practices support you in feeling difficult emotions or sensations? Weekly Online Meditation Event Monday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. We are currently exploring the Hidden Lamp: Teaching from the Buddhist Women Ancestors Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINK In-Person in Oregon Grasses, Trees and the Great Earth Sesshin— August 10 - 16 at Great Vow Zen Monastery In-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus Sangha Weekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday Retreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website. I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amykisei.substack.com/subscribe

Greetings Friends, Happy Solstice! Here in the northern hemisphere it is the longest day of the year, one of two days of the year where the sun appears to stand still on the horizon. I feel interested in that teaching, here in what sometimes feels like the most active or busiest of seasons—what is stillness? where is stillness? What does it look like to let your inner sun rest, or to recognize that it’s already still, shining brightly—no matter what. This week’s koan from the Hidden Lamp is about big and small enlightenments. I’ll let you listen to the podcast for the case and reflection this time. In celebration of the solstice, I would like to share a passage from Dogen Zenji’s Genjo Koan, sometimes translated as “the way of everyday life.” The Mud Lotus Sangha has been exploring this teaching over the course of the last month. Sitting with the different images and passages. Gaining enlightenment is like the moon reflecting in the water. The moon does not get wet nor is the water disturbed. Although its light is extensive and great, the moon is reflected even in a puddle an inch across. The whole moon and the whole sky are reflected in a dewdrop in the grass, in one drop of water. Enlightenment does not disturb the person just as the moon does not disturb the water. A person does not hinder enlightenment just as a dewdrop does not hinder the moon in the sky. The depth of the drop is the height of the moon. I invite you to spend sometime today in stillness. Take a moment to open your awareness to the entire moon, the entire sky. Remember that you are one dew drop among many, reflecting vastness. You can not hinder awakening, it is your nature. As one teacher said, “so get used to it!” As always, I would love to hear your reflections! Weekly Online Meditation Event Monday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. We are currently exploring the Hidden Lamp: Teaching from the Buddhist Women Ancestors Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINK In-Person in Oregon Grasses, Trees and the Great Earth Sesshin— August 10 - 16 at Great Vow Zen Monastery In-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus Sangha Weekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday Retreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website. Upcoming Sesshins at Saranam Retreat Center in West Virginia Interdependence Sesshin June 29 - July 5 (Registration is now open!) I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amykisei.substack.com/subscribe

Greetings Friends, Happy New Moon! This past week we explored the Hidden Lamp Case 21: Linji Meets the Old Woman Driving the Ox. Linji Meets the Old Woman Driving the Ox China, ninth century Master Linji Yixuan went to see Master Bingdian An. On the way he met an old woman driving an ox in a field. Linji asked her, “Which way is the road to Bingdian?” The woman hit the ox with her stick and said, “This animal! It walks all over the place without even recognizing the road.” Linji repeated, “I asked you, which way is the road to Bingdian?” The woman said, “This beast! It’s five years old and still can’t be put to use.” Linji said to himself, “If you want to learn something from the person in front of you, first observe what the person does.” And he had the feeling that his sticking-point had been removed. Then, when he reached Master An, An asked him, “Have you seen my sister-in-law?” Linji said, “Yes, I’ve already been taken in tow.” I’m curious when you read this exchange is there a line or phrase that interests you, or that you have some sort of reaction to? Feel free to share. What touches you, what are you curious about? What feels aversive? What questions come up for you? How is this exchange relevant for your life and practice? These koans are teaching stories. And often what stirs in us is our way into them. If you are interested in hearing a little more about Master Linji and his origin story, as well as my comments on the koan, including being useless—listen to the audio recording. The Soft Animal of the Body I am always curious when animals show up in koans. In reflecting on this koan, I got interested in the Ox. The Ox is a symbol for our true nature in the Zen tradition. There are a series of images called the Ox-herding pictures that portray important elements on this path of practice-awakening. They depict the movement from searching for our nature, to having a glimpse, to training ourselves to recognize and abide here, to eventually seeing through ideas of self/true nature, and living fully as we are in service to all beings. This week though, as I sat with the koan—a line from Mary Oliver’s poem Wild Geese came to heart, “let the soft animal of your body, love what it loves.” This is such a deep invitation into presence. To feel our lives. To feel our bodies. To recognize the pleasure, the bliss of embodiment—right here, right now. I can notice how my mind wants to come in and fantasize about the things my body might want or long for, but part of what I am interested in is how the body can only love what is. Our bodies are always in the present moment. Our bodies speak the language of sensation, feeling, movement, texture, touch. Our bodies love through experiencing. Notice right now— what does your body love, in this moment? To ask, we need to sink into to our embodied life. To feel the changes in air temperature, the movement of breath, the touch of clothing, the pulsing and flickering of sensation. To hear and see, to smell and taste—to open the senses. For this sense world is our embodied life. When we let ourselves abide fully in our sense experience, we naturally open to the truth of interconnection. We feel ourselves as part of this great earth and in community with all, truly our lives are interpermeated—our bodies are the body of the entire world. So this week, today, right now—sit like an ox, here in your own body—loving what you love. Be the animal walking all over the place, the beast that can’t be put to use! Weekly Online Meditation Event Monday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. We are currently exploring the Hidden Lamp: Teaching from the Buddhist Women Ancestors Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINK In-Person in Oregon Grasses, Trees and the Great Earth Sesshin— August 10 - 16 at Great Vow Zen Monastery In-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus Sangha Weekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday Retreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website. Upcoming Sesshins at Saranam Retreat Center in West Virginia Interdependence Sesshin June 29 - July 5 (Registration is now open!) I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amykisei.substack.com/subscribe

Greetings Friends, We are moving through this wonderful collection of encounters with Buddhist Women found in the book The Hidden Lamp for our Summer Read. This week we met Keizan Zenji and Mokufu Sonin engaged in the dialogue below: Hidden Lamp Case 20: Sonin’s Shadeless Tree Master Keizan Jokin asked the nun Mokufu Sonin, “The winter is coming to an end and the springtime is arriving. There is an order to this. What is your understanding?” Sonin replied, “In the braches of a tree without shade, how could there be any seasons?” These two people are very important figures in the history of Zen Buddhism. They are direct Ancestors in our Soto Zen lineage tree. So, they are our Ancestors. What is an Ancestor? One way we understand Ancestor in Buddhism is someone who aligns their heart and mind with the aspiration to awaken and liberate all beings from suffering. So, someone who wants to help us wake up! But one Zen teacher says in actuality —all beings are your ancestor. What would it be like to truly see the world this way? Are all beings trying to awaken us? Is everyone we meet helping us on this path of liberation from suffering? Are they, through their words, thoughts and actions aiding us in opening our own hearts and minds to the love, compassion and wisdom of this universe? It may not always feel that way. But we can aspire to practice as if it were true, this is taking the view of bodhicitta— the great compassion unfolding this life. Connecting to the Zen Ancestors can remind us that humans have been walking this path of awakening for a long time. They were shaped by the path and they also shaped or opened new dimensions of the path through their embodied walking. I find that hearing the ancestor’s stories is a lot like pulling a tarot card, or reading a myth or fairytale. Their life stories usually contain dharma teachings, universal themes about the path, but also personal dimensions that may resonate with our own struggles, questions, doubts, curiosities or lived experience. Keizan’s Path Keizan Zenji is a great example of this. Considered the “mother of Soto Zen”, he was born in the early years of Soto Zen in Japan, just eleven years after Dogen Zenji (the founder) died. His mother and his grandmother were both Zen practitioners, but also embodied and practiced a more ancient form of spirituality that was common amongst women at the time—a form of spirituality we might call “folk” or “shamanistic” or “animist”. (In her recent books, Bringing Zen Home and The Little Book of Zen Healing Paula Arai explores how the blend of Zen and shamanism is still alive in how many lay women engage in dharma practice). Below is an excerpt from Sallie Tisdale’s book Women of the Way, here she shares the story of Keizan’s birth. This short selection introduces us to some of the people and practices that influenced Keizan throughout his life. Many years later, when Ekan Daishi was thirty-seven years old, she had a dream. She swallowed the morning light, warm and as soft as silk, and it filled her entire body. A few days later she realized she was pregnant. Then she prayed, as she had often prayed, to the beloved statue of Kannon: “May this child be a spiritual leader, a benefit to all, and please, may the delivery be easy.” For the next seven months, she bowed 1,333 times each day and recited the Kannon Sutra. The baby was born on the property of the Kannon Temple in the province of Echizen, without pain. A short while later Daishi took vows as a nun, and the baby’s grandmother, Myōchi, helped raise him. So Keizan was raised with a deep connection to both his mother and grandmother and to the Bodhisattva Kannon (who is the bodhisattva of compassion). He was brought up in an enchanted world, where kami (spirits) filled the natural world, where Buddha’s and Bodhisattva’s appeared in dreams, where even the mundane aspects of life were part of the art, the ritual of living in an interconnected world of mutual reciprocity. A world emerging from the great compassion of Kannon. Keizan also listened to the wisdom of his dreams, practiced Buddhist astrology and geomancy. He was instrumental in creating and recording the ceremonies we have throughout the Buddhist liturgical year. His love for the ancestors, led him to gather the stories of the Zen Buddhist lineage dating back to Shakyamuni Buddha. Creating a mythological retelling of their lives, and giving teachings inspired by their stories. This collection of his dharma talks on the ancestors, is called the Denkuroku, the Transmission of the Light. Here’s another selection from Women of the Way revealing some of the ways he practiced and saw the world, and how he carried his mother’s vow forward after she died. His dreams about Yōkōji were strong and good, filled with spirits and buddhas. Even the stars overhead, streaming slowly between the black branches of the pines, were correctly aligned. The hills were no more beautiful than other nearby hills, but he could see through these particular hills to the hidden hills beneath. He believed that he could see the true monastery already there, the one belonging to the other world—the world of protectors and guides. In this place, where the boundary between worlds was very thin, he would build the Monastery of the Eternal Light. A year later Daishi died. Almost at the moment of her death she reached for her son’s hand. “I made a vow to Kannon,” she said. “You must continue it. You must help all beings come to the Dharma. Especially, most especially, because you can, you must help all women of the three worlds and the ten directions. “Take the little statue,” she added, nodding toward the Kannon she had found all those years ago in the mud. “Take care of it forever.” In her memory, Keizan ordered that a Sōtō women’s temple, Hōō-ji, be built in the province of Kaga. Keizan and Sonin’s Dharma Friendship One of the most remarkable aspects of Keizan, is that he really took this vow to heart. Sonin was a patron, she donated the mountain where Keizan built Yokoji, one of the many monasteries he helped found, and the one where he spent most of his time. After Sonin’s husband died, she went to Keizan to ask for ordination. The night before Keizan had a dream that his beloved deceased grandmother came to him and asked for ordination. From this point on he regarded Sonin as a reincarnation of his grandmother, and the two were very close as teacher and student, and then as friends and collaborators. Keizan wrote that the two of them were like, “magnet and iron.” Keizan wrote that Sonin’s aspiration for awakening “clarifies each day”, that “she radiates kindness” and that her “insight is ripening”, shortly before the dialogue above took place. He had asked her about, “temporal existence” and she was unable to answer. She let this question work on her. And sometime later asked Keizan to engage in dharma combat. That is when he asked her about the seasons changing from winter to spring. Sonin’s understanding was clear, and she was able to meet Keizan in the place with neither light or shadow. Sonin is the first woman in the Soto Zen lineage of Japan to receive full dharma transmission. Keizan gave transmission to two other women, Konto Ekyu and Myosho Ekan, before he died. (Keizan’s mother Ekan Daishi, Mokufu Sonin, Konto Ekyu and Myosho Ekan are all part of the Women’s Lineage found in the ZCO chant book, at the monastery we would chant their names as part of morning service twice a week.) In closing, this short snapshot into the lives of Keizan and Sonin, I want to share another excerpt from the Women of the Way. In 1322 Keizan and the nuns founded Enzūin, the Temple of All Pervading Perfection, across the stream from the mountain gate, hidden in the trees. Enzūin was dedicated to the well-being of women forever, and it was most especially meant as an honor to his grandmother and in keeping the promise he made to his mother Ekan Daishi when she died. At the dedication, the statue of Kanzeon, with its eleven serene faces, was installed as the main image. It had come to seem like an animate thing, hearing and acting on the prayers of its bearers. In its base Keizan placed a lock of his own baby hair and his umbilical cord, which his mother had preserved. In this way, he gave his own life to this women’s hermitage in the trees. Sonin was the first living abbot there, although Ekan Daishi was considered the first ancestoral abbot. There is still a portrait of Ekan Daishi, Keizan’s mother and Sonin as the first abbots on the Yokoji temple property. So, here is a story of the legacy of two Zen Ancestors. If you want to learn more, listen to the podcast where I also explore this short koan exchange and how we too are shadeless trees, in the midst of the changing seasons of our lives. If you are curious to learn more about Keizan and Sonin, there is this great resource here. Is there are any aspects of Keizan and Sonin’s story that piqued your interest or felt resonate with your own life and practice? Hope to see you for one of our live online gatherings or in person for a retreat this summer! Weekly Online Meditation Event Monday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. We are currently exploring the Hidden Lamp: Teaching from the Buddhist Women Ancestors Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINK In-Person in Oregon Grasses, Trees and the Great Earth Sesshin— August 10 - 16 at Great Vow Zen Monastery In-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus Sangha Weekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday Retreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website. Upcoming Sesshins at Saranam Retreat Center in West Virginia Interdependence Sesshin June 29 - July 5 (Registration is now open!) I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist T

Greetings and Happy Early Summer! We are continuing our Summer Read of the Hidden Lamp again this year. Every week we will explore a different koan story from the collection. If you would like to follow along, check out the calendar page for up to date information on the koan selections. On Monday night during the live online meditation event, I will give a dharma talk themed around the reading for the week and then we will have time for discussion. I will post the talk here too. This past Monday we started the Summer Read with Case 19 from the Hidden Lamp: The Flower Hall on the Buddha’s Birthday. The nuns of Tokeiji were famous for their beautiful and elaborate flower decorations on the Buddha’s birthday. Master Yodo, the abbess of Tokeiji wrote a verse for this occasion: Decorate the heart of the beholder, for the Buddha of the flower hallis no where else. The Buddha’s birthday, also called Hanna Matsuri or the flower festival, usually takes place when the flowers of Spring are in full bloom. In the ceremony we decorate a flower bower with fresh flowers (in Oregon we would do this on Mother’s Day and the rhododendron’s were often a main feature). The baby buddha is placed in the center of the flower bower, in a bowl of sweet tea. During the ceremony each participant is invited up to the altar to bathe the baby buddha, while we chant a simple mantra together. To me this ceremony feels ancient. I imagine it is an evolution of a much older ceremony celebrating mid-spring, the abundance of new life, flowers and perhaps the Great Mother. For the story of the Buddha’s birth starts with Maha Maya, the Buddha’s mother. It starts with Maha Maya’s great dream, reminding us that this very life, this very moment is sourced from the great mystery and is dream-like in its nature. As many of you know, I could dwell on this theme of dream and the Great Mother for a long time. But today, I want to highlight another aspect of this koan—the quality of care. We meet Yodo and the nuns of Tokeiji decorating the buddha hall. Taking great care to make a beautiful and elaborate offering of flowers. Flowers which will start to whither and die as the ceremony ends. Flowers that speak the language of beauty and innocence, of desire and abundance, of the purity of our buddha-nature. The activity that the nuns are engaged in is the activity of their life. We often wonder how to bring our meditation practice off of the cushion into our daily lives. Here the nuns demonstrate this—with care—they say through their actions. Care is how love is expressed. Care involves attending, meeting the moment. Care awakens appreciation. Through our care, our life becomes an offering, a gift. And we are the recipients as well as the ones making the offering. In monastic life we have ceremonies and activities that give form to the expression of care. From the way we place our shoes on the shoe rack, to choosing the serving dishes for a meal to making flower arrangements for the altars, we have these opportunities to express love through our actions. I was never formally trained in the art of Ikebana, flower arranging. But I did learn some basics over the years, two of which stick with me and can be applied to so many areas of life in exploring care and beauty. The first is that space is just as important as the physical elements of the flower arrangement. So as you choose your vessel, and begin to arrange the flowers you also consider the space between the flowers, leaves and branches. In flower arranging the space is alive. The second principle is that you appreciate how the different elements grow in nature and accentuate them. You recognize that you are also an active participant in creation, so you listen to how the elements are in relationship to each other and respond. I find these two principles invite care, attention, love, appreciation and open me up to seeing the beauty in life itself. What if we moved through our days with an awareness of the space that surrounds us, with an appreciation that we are in relationship with everything we encounter. That it is our life. Listen to the dharma talk for more explorations of this koan in relationship to care, nurturing the heart and seeing our buddha nature. And as always you are invited to take this story and practice into your life. This week notice beauty, practice appreciating your life, see your life as an offering, a gift. What happens when you do? Awakening happens in relationship. Hope to see you in-person or on zoom sometime soon. Starting this coming Monday, we will return to studying the teaching stories of the women ancestors found in The Hidden Lamp. Weekly Online Meditation Event Monday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. We are currently exploring the Hidden Lamp: Teaching from the Buddhist Women Ancestors Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINK In-Person in Oregon Grasses, Trees and the Great Earth Sesshin— August 10 - 16 at Great Vow Zen Monastery In-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus Sangha Weekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday Retreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website. Upcoming Sesshins at Saranam Retreat Center in West Virginia Interdependence Sesshin June 29 - July 5 (Registration is now open!) I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amykisei.substack.com/subscribe

Greetings Friends, I am returning from the Light of the Ancestors Sesshin at Great Vow Zen Monastery and feeling deep gratitude for this path of practice and all the people who have walked this path— discovering freedom and love in their own lives. Over the past few months the Monday night online Sangha through ZCO has been exploring The Mountains and Rivers Sutra by Dogen Zenji. In wrapping up our study of the sutra, we explored the last two stanzas from the version of the sutra that is often chanted in ZCO. Mountains have been the abode of great sages from the limitless past to the limitless present. Wise people and sages all have mountains in their inner chamber, as their body and mind. You may think that in mountains many wise people and great sages are assembled, but after entering the mountains, not a single person meets another. There is just the activity of mountains. There is no trace of anyone having entered the mountains. Although mountains belong to the nation, mountains belong to people who love them. You should know that mountains are fond of wise people and sages. From ancient times people and sages have often lived near water. When they live near water they catch fish, catch human beings, and catch the Way. Therefore, thoroughly investigate mountains, thoroughly investigate water. When you investigate thoroughly, it is the work of mountains and water. Then mountains and waters of themselves become wise persons and sages. When Dogen Zenji refers to mountains, he is inviting us to observe and contemplate actual mountains, to recognize and reflect on the constancy, stillness, presence and teachings of the mountains in the natural world and he is also inviting us to observe and contemplate our true nature. You can try reading the above paragraph substituting the words “true nature”, “the Way”, “awakening/enlightenment” or “practice-realization” for mountains. What opens up as you reflect on these different readings of the teaching of this sutra? How does the Way or practice-realization belong to those who love it? What is your experience of your life being the great activity of awakening? During the Light of the Ancestors sesshin, my co-teacher Bansho, Sensei referenced a koan from the Zen school, where a person is taking leave of the monastery and is asked by the teacher, “Where are you going?” The student replies, “around on pilgrimage.” The teacher then asks, “what is the purpose of pilgrimage?” The student replies, “I don’t know.” The teacher responds, “Not-knowing is nearness.” We might also say, “not-knowing is love.” In a world where we are taught to fear the unknown, to always have a plan or purpose—what would it be like, instead, to see not-knowing as an invitation to love? To meet the unknown with curiosity? To be intimate with the mystery? Can not-knowing invite us in to the embrace of this life? Can the practice of not-knowing create space for love to arise? Is not-knowing an expression of love? On this path of practice-awakening we are constantly being invited to love. To recognize that we are loved, to recognize that we belong to this life. Another time a student asked, “what is the essence of the path?” A teacher replied, “whatever arises, love that.” Not-knowing makes us fetch-able, the way rises up and meets us, catches us in the openness of our curiosity. We become mountain, we become river just as mountains and rivers become us. Listen to the Dharma Talk for a more in-depth exploration of these last paragraphs from the Mountains and Rivers Sutra, and for reflections on coming home to ourselves, not-knowing, love and belonging on the path. Awakening happens in relationship. Hope to see you in-person or on zoom sometime soon. Starting this coming Monday, we will return to studying the teaching stories of the women ancestors found in The Hidden Lamp. Weekly Online Meditation Event Monday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. We are currently exploring the Hidden Lamp: Teaching from the Buddhist Women Ancestors Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINK In-Person in Oregon Grasses, Trees and the Great Earth Sesshin— August 10 - 16 at Great Vow Zen Monastery In-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus Sangha Weekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday Retreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website. Upcoming Sesshins at Saranam Retreat Center in West Virginia Interdependence Sesshin June 29 - July 5 (Registration is now open!) I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amykisei.substack.com/subscribe

Greetings Friends, I’m a lover of poetry. A sometimes writer of poems. A sometimes reader. Poetry for me is more of a way of being, a willingness to be carried across by metaphor, to be turned inside out by image, to sit in the silence, to not know and to be transformed through the art of attention. The best poetry is wordless attention. And, also. Some poems really act as an arrow, straight to the heart of it and allow what is often inexpressible—a moment of shared recognition. April was national poetry month, and one of the ways I celebrated was to reflect on poetry in the buddhist and zen tradition. I looked at the different kinds of poetry and its function. In doing so, I recognized four functions of poetry: enlightenment poems, death poems, capping phrases and poems of intimacy with what is. Listen to the talk for more exploration of these four functions, with examples from some of my favorite poems from the tradition. Below are a few favorites for your reading pleasure. Dongshan’s Enlightenment Poem Long seeking it from others, I was far from reaching it. Now I go by myself, and I find it everywhere. It is just I myself, but I am not itself. Understanding in this way, I can be as I am. Ikkyu’s Death Poem I won’t die. I won’t go anywhere. I’ll be here. But don’t ask me anything. I won’t answer. Mitta’s Enlightenment Poem (From the translation/interpretation the first free women) Full of trust you left home, and soon learned to walk the Path— making yourself a friend to everyone and making everyone a friend. When the whole world is your friend, fear will find no place to call home. And when you make the mind your friend, you’ll know what trust really means. Listen. I have followed this Path of friendship to its end. And I can say with absolute certainty— it will lead you home. On this spiritual path, poetry has been an inspiration for me. Not just the poetry of the ancestors, but so many other poems have graced me with their invitations to wonder and open to a world that is alive, and inviting. Do you have a poem that has inspired or transformed you? Do you have a poem you keep coming back to? Feel free to share it here. Weekly Online Meditation Event Monday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. We are currently exploring the Mountains and Waters Sutra by Dogen Zenji. Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINK In-Person in Oregon Light of the Ancestors Sesshin—May 11 - 17 at Great Vow Zen Monastery Grasses, Trees and the Great Earth Sesshin— August 10 - 16 at Great Vow Zen Monastery In-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus Sangha Weekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday Retreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website. Upcoming Sesshins at Saranam Retreat Center in West Virginia Interdependence Sesshin June 29 - July 5 (Registration is now open!) I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amykisei.substack.com/subscribe

One of the figures that we encounter in the Zen literature is the stone woman. In the Precious Mirror Samadhi we find her dancing, in another story she calls us back from our dream of the world. In the study of the Mountains and Rivers Sutra, she shows up early on when Dogen quotes Furong Daokai. “The green mountains are always moving, a stone woman gives birth to a child at night.” He then comments on the stone woman, saying: “A stone woman gives birth to a child at night” means that the moment when a barren woman gives birth to a child is called “night.” There are male stones, female stones, and nonmale, nonfemale stones. (13) They are placed in the sky and in the earth and are called heavenly stones and earthly stones. These are explained in the ordinary world, but not many people actually know about it. You should understand the meaning of giving birth to a child. At the moment of giving birth to a child, is the mother separate from the child? You should study not only that you become a mother when your child is born, but also that you become a child. (14) This is the actualization of giving birth in practice-realization. You should study and investigate this thoroughly. So, who is this stone woman? Have you met her? Have you taken the time to hear the stories of the mountains, the stars, the river rocks, the stones you encounter on your walk? What is their experience of night? Of birth? Of silence, life, time and human? The Stone Woman Speaks There are stories told throughout the world, throughout time about the lives of mountains, stones, trees and the natural world. Stories of how the mountains were made. How the world was made, stories of creation. There are even stories of women being turned to stone. When I was living in the Pacific Northwest, I learned some of the creation myths of the indigenous people who live in the region. In the telling, the local mountains have a prominent role. The Chinook tell of Thunderbird laying eggs on top of Saddle Mountain, which an ogress will then throw down the Mountain, peopling the area. The Klickitat story involves the formation of Wy’east (Mt. Hood), Pahto (Mt. Adams) and Loo-wit (Mt. St. Helen’s). In this story Loo-wit is a beautiful woman, who once guarded the first fire for the Great Spirit. Wy’east and Pahto were brother warriors who both fell in love with Loo-wit, and started fighting over her by spitting fireballs over the land. Eventually Great Spirit turned them into stone, mountain-volcanoes—banishing the Stone Woman Loo-wit up to the northern regions. Do you know some of the stories about the mountains, rivers or landforms in your area? Or ones you have visited? Have you ever listened to or heard the story of a tree, rock, flower, river or some other being in the natural world? During the Grasses and Trees Sesshin at Great Vow Zen Monastery on the fourth full-day of the retreat we often invite participants to have sanzen with a being in the natural world. Sanzen, which means sitting zen together, is what we call the 1:1 practice meetings in Zen. We are invited to meet a blade of grass, a pond, a noble fire, sky with an open mind, a question, a willingness to listen and learn from. Often people come back with a story of transmission. Something happened in the encounter, often part of the practice involves a willingness to listen to the silence—for the natural world often doesn’t speak in human language. Mysterious Transmissions This image of the stone woman is also pointing to prajna paramita, the mother of all buddhas, wisdom beyond wisdom. To encounter the stone woman, is to meet the night, the darkness of not-knowing, the pure potential energy that we are—the great mystery. We are invited into the dark-unknowing, the womb of pure potential—where we become one with the wisdom of the ancestors, where we are born anew. From this place our life emerges, from this place it is fulfilled. —Hongzhi For more explorations of the stone woman giving birth at night, listen to the dharma talk. I would love to hear any reflections that you have. It’s poetry month, and I am also exploring encounters with the stone woman through poetry. The Stone Woman Speaks(a poem) the stone woman lives in the foundation of my house but also, in the potholed alley the river bed & on the rock face of the glen. she who was —before— people, animal, name. she who will be here —after— we are no longer. she speaks in cool, smooth ancient sounds the kind that turn you around and let you hear the voice of your own —inner silence. Weekly Online Meditation Event Monday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. We are currently exploring the Mountains and Waters Sutra by Dogen Zenji. Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINK In-Person in Oregon Light of the Ancestors Sesshin—May 11 - 17 at Great Vow Zen Monastery Grasses, Trees and the Great Earth Sesshin— August 10 - 16 at Great Vow Zen Monastery In-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus Sangha Weekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday Retreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website. Upcoming Sesshins at Saranam Retreat Center in West Virginia Interdependence Sesshin June 29 - July 5 (Registration is now open!) I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amykisei.substack.com/subscribe

Greetings Friends, Happy April Fool’s Day! Last week I had the opportunity to co-facilitate a Zen sesshin in the mountains of West Virginia at Saranam Retreat Center. Sesshin, a zen-style silent meditation retreat which translates as touching the heart-mind, has been a huge part of my adult life. While living at Great Vow Zen Monastery, I practiced sesshin together in sangha for a week every month. Such is the rhythm of monastic life we enter this cauldron of awakening together and let our hearts and minds simplify to reveal their true nature. Preparing for sesshin has a feeling of preparing for death— for opening to oneness is not the ego’s domain. Sesshin is grounded in the aspiration to awaken with all beings. An impossible vow that truly we are entangled in, this springing forth of great love is actualized through our practice—realized in this heart. For the dharma teachings are not just “good ideas” but insights we can come to know in our bones, as our body-mind. There is something utterly incomprehensible about sitting together in silence and allowing ourselves to be touched by the great mystery. To return from sesshin is impossible, and yet—here we are. Back from the dead, changed, transformed. Heart’s silent presence alive in our inter-relations. Vow awakened and lived into here-and-now. This is compassion! During sesshin we practiced with Dogen Zenji’s Mountains and Waters Sutra. Which I have been giving dharma talks on over the last few weeks, during the online Monday Night Dharma. This week we explored the practice of circling back to study ourselves. In the Mountains and Waters Sutra, Dogen says: The blue mountains devote themselves to the investigation of walking; the East Mountain studies “moving over the water.” Hence, this study is the mountain’s own study. The mountains, without altering their own body and mind, with their own mountain countenance, have always been circling back to study themselves. We encounter circles throughout this path of practice. As I said above, I circle back to sesshin regularly. Many of you have the experience of circling back to this practice of zazen-meditation. The study of the mountains and rivers sutra is a circling back to a teaching I have practiced with for over a decade. What do you find yourself circling back to in your practice-life? As we enter the season of Spring, what is beginning again for you? How are you circling back to yourself? This circling back to study ourselves is one of the core instructions for zazen practice—to recognize our original self, the unborn buddha mind. Listen to the Dharma talk for more explorations of this teaching in the Mountains and Rivers Sutra. I reference the chant-able version of the Mountains and Waters Sutra which you can find here. Below is a poem inspired by the practice of circling. Mountains Circling Back to Realize Themselves Circle back study yourself Who are you? What hears? Who is breathing this breath? What feels the heart beating, the touch of clothing, longing, aspiration? Circle back and listen to yourself What is your heart’s song? Do you know the compassion that you are? Are you in touch with this aspiration to awaken, to liberate all beings? What is the shape of your vow? What is the size of your heart? Can you see that it truly includes the entire world? Circle back and be yourself See that you too are mountain, and flowing You were never born, you will not die Circle back and love yourself For you are dying, too Wonder at this Self This miracle that you are Let yourself be amazed By this life you live Appreciate the challenges, the joys, all the happenings That make you — you Circle back, greet yourself For you are ancestor Parent, protector, caregiver, teacher, friend, guide To this earth, your family, community, all beings And you are also child A student of life, learning, being guided, protected Cared for by this earth, and all your inter-relations Circle back and meet yourself As you are born, from the stone woman From the dark Even as you age You are new Like spring Like a flower budding Circle back home to yourself Rest In the vast openness Of your original Heart-mind Always right here Becoming Circle What must relax in you To become a circle? What assumptions made about who we are and why we are here Must dissolve So that feet can walk back towards head as ground rises up To meet the sky We who once stood erect in the middle Like pillar or tree Like mountain Now find ourselves Turning inside-out Walking backward as we move forward Being planet Or globe Flower Or mandala Or something else entirely Weekly Online Meditation Event Monday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. We are currently exploring the Mountains and Waters Sutra by Dogen Zenji. Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINK In-Person in Oregon Light of the Ancestors Sesshin—May 11 - 17 at Great Vow Zen Monastery Grasses, Trees and the Great Earth Sesshin— August 10 - 16 at Great Vow Zen Monastery In-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus Sangha Weekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday Retreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website. Upcoming Sesshins at Saranam Retreat Center in West Virginia Interdependence Sesshin June 29 - July 5 (Registration is now open!) I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amykisei.substack.com/subscribe

I will be joining the Mud Lotus Sangha in West Virginia for our first sesshin of the year. Sesshin is now often translated as a Zen-style meditation retreat. But the words meditation and retreat are mis-leading. It is in its truest sense a practice of recognizing our true nature, of touching, encountering the heart-mind that abides everywhere. We are going to the mountains of West Virginia to practice. Stepping back into Mountain time to learn from the mountains, waters and great earth. To be students to the world before thought, which continues to blossom in the midst of all our human-made problems. Preparing for sesshin is like preparing for death. It is preparing for the unknown, for encountering the mystery. It is a practice and path of discovering who and what we are when we aren’t engaging constantly in the impulses and desires of modern life—with its near endless supply of surface level distractions and pleasures—that often keep us from encountering the deep questions and true satisfaction of our being. During sesshin we will be exploring the Mountains and Waters Sutra by Dogen Zenji. And we are also taking up this sutra on Monday nights, as part of the Monday Night Dharma teaching offered weekly on zoom (more info below). It is a beautiful teaching that scholars, ecologists, practitioners, artists, mystics, activists, poets have turned to over the centuries for inspiration on this path of being human, of living awake to our deep interconnection with all beings. So for the next couple months, we will be walking in the mountains together. We will be journeying in Mountain Time, studying the teachings of mountains and waters and how they are relevant in our own lives as modern, urban, technological beings. One of my questions is, can the teachings of mountains and waters, the teachings in this sutra and other teachings we find throughout buddhism about mountains—can they meet us in this current moment? Can they meet us here in what feels apocalyptic? What do the mountains and waters have to teach us about hope/fear, gain/loss, life/death, awakening/delusion, joy, compassion, equanimity, freedom and how to live together on this earth or even in this cosmos? The first line of the sutra says: These mountains and rivers right now are an actualization of the ancient buddha way. Pay attention to the mountains and waters, they are teaching us, they are the expression of the awakened ones, they are the way! People throughout cultures and traditions regard the mountains as sacred, regard the natural world as sacred— as teachers, as expressions-embodiments of our true nature. Mountains are mythic and evoke the spirit. They are often personified as spirit beings, praised, worshiped and prayed to. Many mountains are pilgrimage sites, temples were built on them, ceremonies are conducted on them. To live on the mountains, is to live with the mountains, to simplify—to be humbled and vulnerable in the mountains presence. To take up mountains and waters as sutra, is to encounter this ancient way of being, is to connect with our ancestors, is to connect with the Earth as ancestor and realize our deep inter-being with all of life. Are we willing to humble ourselves before the mountains and waters? Are we willing to hear their teachings? What kind of listening is required—to encounter earth as ancestor, lover, friend, mother, as the way, the path, true nature itself? Are we willing to abide in mountain time, to open to the deep time, presence and pace of mountains? Can we do this as modern people? Is this teaching relevant to us as people who are intertwined with technology and the creature comforts of urban life? What might we have to change, give-up, surrender or open to? Is it possible to study the sutra of mountains and rivers, right here—in our daily lives? Throughout the study and practice of reading this sutra, contemplating it and putting it into practice—we will encounter these questions and more. We will get to experience a new appreciation for what the mountains and waters are, how they are teachers, buddhas, and the way. The first paragraph of the sutra says: Mountains and waters right now are the actualization of the ancient Buddha way. Each, abiding in its phenomenal expression, realizes completeness. Because mountains and waters have been active since before the Empty Eon, they are alive at this moment. Because they have been the self since before form arose they are emancipation-realization. And I will leave it there for today. Listen to the podcast episode for more and join us tomorrow as we dive deeper into the sutra and the practice of mountain-walking. Feel free to share any comments or thoughts below! Weekly Online Meditation Event Monday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. We are currently exploring the Mountains and Waters Sutra by Dogen Zenji. Feel free to join anytime. Event lasts about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINK In-Person in Oregon Light of the Ancestors Sesshin—May 11 - 17 at Great Vow Zen Monastery Grasses, Trees and the Great Earth— In-Person in Columbus, Ohio through Mud Lotus Sangha Weekly Meditations on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday Retreats, Meditation instruction and other events can be found on our website. Upcoming Sesshins at Saranam Retreat Center in West Virginia Mountains and Rivers Sesshin March 18 - 22 (Registration is now open!) Mountains are high and wide. The movement of clouds and the inconceivable power of soaring in the wind comes freely from the mountains. —Dogen Zenji, Mountains and Waters Sutra During this silent, Zen-style retreat we will practice with the mountains and waters, opening to our own mountain-stability and the flowing nature of all experience. Meditation provides the opportunity for intimacy with self and world, recognizing the interconnectedness of this very life. Healing and transformation happen as we abide in the mystery of who we truly are. This will be a silent meditation retreat. After an initial meal, set-up and orientation we will enter noble silence. Supporting each other in connecting with our own inner silence, stability and confidence. We will follow a rigorous daily schedule which includes roughly seven hours of seated meditation, interspersed with periods of walking meditation, chanting practice, dharma talks, opportunities to check-in with one of the practice leaders, outdoor meditation sessions, mindful eating practice during meals, a late morning care-taking practice and breaks where participants have the opportunity to rest, exercise and explore the beautiful grounds and nature. Interdependence Sesshin June 29 - July 5 (save the date, registration opens soon!) I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions using IFS and Hakomi (somatic mindfulness). I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more. I currently live in Columbus, OH and am a supporting teacher for the Mud Lotus Sangha. Earth Dreams is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amykisei.substack.com/subscribe