Advertise on podcast: The Kink Perspective

On today's show, I'm discussing the difference between a safeguard and a wall, and how the things we build to protect ourselves can sometimes begin keeping connection out. I look at boundaries, vetting, trust, and what happens when reasonable caution becomes a search for certainty. I also explore whether our safeguards are helping us decide who to let closer, or making sure we never have to decide at all. This episode is supported by Enhanced-Mind Counseling. If you’re looking to understand the patterns behind your relationships, attachment, or the dynamics you find yourself in, you can reach out through my website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind Don’t forget to follow the show and leave a 5-star rating so others can find it. Want to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode?Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. You can find it where you purchase most eBooks. Print version available now. #Psychology #Safeguard #Walls #Boundaries

On today's show, I'm talking about classical conditioning and how we learn to respond to certain cues. I look at how those associations develop in kink and relationships, and what happens when their meaning changes. I also discuss whether learned responses can change and what that might look like. This episode is supported by Enhanced-Mind Counseling. If you’re looking to understand the patterns behind your relationships, attachment, or the dynamics you find yourself in, you can reach out through my website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind Don’t forget to follow the show and leave a 5-star rating so others can find it. Want to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode?Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. You can find it where you purchase most eBooks. Print version available now. #Psychology #conditioning #ques

On today's show, I'm talking about what happens when fear starts influencing the power inside a D/s dynamic. I look at how obedience, control, service, and responsibility can still look exactly like the roles we chose, even when the reasons underneath them begin to change. I also get into what happens when saying no, disagreeing, or changing what we need starts feeling like it could cost us the relationship. This episode is supported by Enhanced-Mind Counseling. If you’re looking to understand the patterns behind your relationships, attachment, or the dynamics you find yourself in, you can reach out through my website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind Don’t forget to follow the show and leave a 5-star rating so others can find it. Want to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode?Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. You can find it where you purchase most eBooks. Print version available now. #Psychology #Fear #Relationships

On today's show, I'm talking about chronic shame and what happens when it stops being about something we did and starts shaping how we see ourselves. I get into how those judgments become internalized, how they can attach themselves to desire and kink, and why feeling accepted does not always mean the shame is gone. This episode is supported by Enhanced-Mind Counseling. If you’re looking to understand the patterns behind your relationships, attachment, or the dynamics you find yourself in, you can reach out through my website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind Don’t forget to follow the show and leave a 5-star rating so others can find it. Want to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode?Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. You can find it where you purchase most eBooks. Print version available now. #Psychology #Shame #Identity

On today's show, I'm talking about how kink changes as we age, and what happens when the roles, desires, or identities that once fit us start to shift. I’m also looking at the physical changes that come with time, and whether adapting means we are losing part of ourselves or simply becoming more honest about who we are now. This episode is supported by Enhanced-Mind Counseling. If you’re looking to understand the patterns behind your relationships, attachment, or the dynamics you find yourself in, you can reach out through my website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind Don’t forget to follow the show and leave a 5-star rating so others can find it. Want to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode?Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. You can find it where you purchase most eBooks. Print version available now. #Psychology #Aging #Time

On today’s show, I’m talking about race play and what it actually is. I’ll look at its history, why some people are drawn to it, and how consent changes the discussion. I also want to look at what gets missed when the subject is reduced to Black and white dynamics. And finally, where personal objection ends and control over other adults begins. This episode is supported by Enhanced-Mind Counseling. If you’re looking to understand the patterns behind your relationships, attachment, or the dynamics you find yourself in, you can reach out through my website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind Don’t forget to follow the show and leave a 5-star rating so others can find it. Want to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode?Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. You can find it where you purchase most eBooks. Print version available now. #Psychology #Power #Race #Consent

On today's show, I'm talking about politics and kink, and why those two worlds seem increasingly difficult to separate. I explore what happens when political beliefs begin shaping how we see one another and who we believe belongs in the community. Maybe the bigger question isn't whether kink is political, but what politics is doing to us. This episode is supported by Enhanced-Mind Counseling. If you’re looking to understand the patterns behind your relationships, attachment, or the dynamics you find yourself in, you can reach out through my website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind Don’t forget to follow the show and leave a 5-star rating so others can find it. Want to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode?Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. You can find it where you purchase most eBooks. Print version available now. #Psychology #Politics #Community

On today's show, I'm talking about what happens when criticism of religion crosses the line into contempt for the people who hold those beliefs. Together, we'll explore how that shift affects belonging within the kink community and what it says about the values we claim to hold. This isn't a debate about religion. It's a conversation about identity, acceptance, and the kind of community we're building. This episode is supported by Enhanced-Mind Counseling. If you’re looking to understand the patterns behind your relationships, attachment, or the dynamics you find yourself in, you can reach out through my website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind Don’t forget to follow the show and leave a 5-star rating so others can find it. Want to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode?Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. You can find it where you purchase most eBooks. Print version available now. #Psychology #Religion #Identity #Community

On today’s show, I’m talking about what happens when attraction to someone because of their race turns into fetishizing them, and what can happen when that fantasy meets rejection. I’m looking at the psychology behind racial stereotypes, sexual expectation, entitlement, and why desire and contempt can sometimes exist in the same place. This episode is supported by Enhanced-Mind Counseling. If you’re looking to understand the patterns behind your relationships, attachment, or the dynamics you find yourself in, you can reach out through my website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind Don’t forget to follow the show and leave a 5-star rating so others can find it. Want to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode?Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. You can find it where you purchase most eBooks. Print version available now. #Psychology #Desire #Attraction #Entitlement

On today’s show, I’m talking about what happens when context disappears and people start responding to what they think someone represents instead of what was actually said or done. I look at how missing information turns into certainty, how labels replace the individual, and why context can matter without excusing harmful behavior. This episode is supported by Enhanced-Mind Counseling. If you’re looking to understand the patterns behind your relationships, attachment, or the dynamics you find yourself in, you can reach out through my website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind Don’t forget to follow the show and leave a 5-star rating so others can find it. Want to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode?Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. You can find it where you purchase most eBooks. Print version available now. #Psychology #Context #Control #Language

On today’s show, I’m discussing what happens when the language of consent, safety, trauma, and boundaries stops protecting people and starts controlling the room. I explore how personal reactions can become treated as proof, why certain accusations become almost impossible to question, and how kink communities can end up enforcing a version of events before anyone has looked closely at what actually happened. This episode is supported by Enhanced-Mind Counseling. If you’re looking to understand the patterns behind your relationships, attachment, or the dynamics you find yourself in, you can reach out through my website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind Don’t forget to follow the show and leave a 5-star rating so others can find it. Want to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode?Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. You can find it where you purchase most eBooks. Print version available now. #Psychology #Consent #Control #Language

On today's show, I'm talking about the difference between wanting to understand someone's past and wanting that past to have belonged to you. We explore why our minds can become attached to experiences we never lived, how curiosity can quietly turn into ownership, and why real intimacy isn't about rewriting someone's history. It's about accepting that the life which shaped the person you love was never yours to possess. This episode is supported by Enhanced-Mind Counseling. If you’re looking to understand the patterns behind your relationships, attachment, or the dynamics you find yourself in, you can reach out through my website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind Don’t forget to follow the show and leave a 5-star rating so others can find it. Want to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode?Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. You can find it where you purchase most eBooks. Print version available now. #Psychology #Past #Relationships #Life

On today's show, I'm talking about the moment pain stops being something we carry and starts becoming something we use against the people trying to love us. We explore how legitimate emotional wounds can quietly become shields from accountability and, in some relationships, swords against intimacy. This episode is supported by Enhanced-Mind Counseling. If you’re looking to understand the patterns behind your relationships, attachment, or the dynamics you find yourself in, you can reach out through my website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind Don’t forget to follow the show and leave a 5-star rating so others can find it. Want to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode?Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. You can find it where you purchase most eBooks. Print version available now. #Psychology #Closure #accountability

On today's show, I'm talking about the psychological difference between responsibility and obligation, and why they aren't always the same thing. We'll explore how people gradually lose their sense of choice, why so many remain in situations they've outgrown, and how understanding the reasons behind our decisions can change the way we see ourselves, our relationships, and the lives we're building. This episode is supported by Enhanced-Mind Counseling. If you’re looking to understand the patterns behind your relationships, attachment, or the dynamics you find yourself in, you can reach out through my website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind Don’t forget to follow the show and leave a 5-star rating so others can find it. Want to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode?Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. You can find it where you purchase most eBooks. Print version available now. #Psychology #Duty #Obligation

On today's show, I'm discussing the psychology of punishment and why stopping a behavior isn't always the same as creating lasting change. We explore operant conditioning, what punishment actually teaches, and why fear, trust, and understanding can lead people to learn very different lessons. Whether you're a parent, leader, partner, or part of a D/s relationship, this episode challenges us to ask a different question: not simply whether punishment worked, but what someone actually learned from it. This episode is supported by Enhanced-Mind Counseling. If you’re looking to understand the patterns behind your relationships, attachment, or the dynamics you find yourself in, you can reach out through my website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://enhanced-mind.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Continue the discussion on Fetlife: @Enhanced-Mind Don’t forget to follow the show and leave a 5-star rating so others can find it. Want to be on the show or have an idea for an upcoming episode?Email me at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find me on Substack - Enhanced-Mind's Substack | Chris C. | Substack I have a book out, Tangled Desires: Exploring the Intersection of BDSM and Psychology. You can find it where you purchase most eBooks. Print version available now. #Psychology #Punishment #OperantConditioning