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What if you’re waiting to feel confident or motivated before you’re willing to take the next step—but confidence and momentum actually come after you begin? In this episode, I’m talking about what it really means to start something before you feel ready. We often think confidence is something we need to have before we put ourselves out there. But confidence requires evidence. If I want to believe that I’m someone who is willing to try something new, take a risk, or put myself out there, I have to create that evidence through my actions. The same is true for momentum. We wait for motivation to arrive. We wait until we feel excited, energized, or ready to begin a new chapter. But momentum doesn’t usually come first. Momentum comes from being in motion. In this episode, I connect these ideas to my upcoming group coaching program and speak directly to the woman who may be considering joining but is telling herself: “I’m not confident enough.” “I’m not motivated enough.” “Maybe I should wait until I feel more ready.” What if you don't need to feel ready before you begin? What if taking the first step is how you begin to become the woman who does these things? In this episode, we’ll explore: Why confidence is built through evidence and experience How taking action can change the way you see yourself Why we often wait for motivation before starting something new How momentum is created through movement—not waiting What it means to start before you feel completely ready Why joining something new can feel uncomfortable even when you genuinely want the experience How these ideas apply to entering a new season of life If you’re standing at the edge of something new and telling yourself you need to feel more confident, motivated, or ready first, this episode is for you. You may not need more confidence. You may simply need a first step. And that first step can become the evidence that creates the confidence you were waiting for.

If this episode resonated with you, take a minute to look at the information for MY KIDS ARE GROWN. NOW WHAT? You can scan the QR CODE on the flyer or use this link to access the sign-up page and learn more about this in-person, group coaching experience: My Kids Are Grown - Now What? Group Coaching Program And if you're listening to this and thinking of a friend who might need this conversation… please share this episode with her.  Because sometimes the most comforting thing you can say to another woman is simply: "It's not just you." FREE GUIDE Want a simple way to know when to step in—and when to allow the struggle? Download my free guide: My Adult Child Is Struggling - When Should I Step In? Download the free Window of Tolerance Quick Shot and take a little sip at a time: Window of Tolerance Quick Shot If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who can use support as you navigate a midlife unraveling, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link: Coaching Call with Terri Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected]

The Drama Triangle vs. Empowerment Dynamic The Drama Triangle is a model of relational dynamics created by psychiatrist Stephen Karpman in 1968. It was developed to help us recognize three recurring roles people can fall into during stressful or conflict-filled interactions: Victim, Rescuer, and Persecutor.  The Empowerment Dynamic The Empowerment Dynamic (TED*) was developed by David Emerald as an alternative to the Drama Triangle. It offers three more empowering roles—Creator, Coach, and Challenger—designed to shift relationships away from helplessness, rescuing, and blame and toward agency, ownership, and personal responsibility.  Drama Triangle: “How do we make this problem go away?” Empowerment Dynamic: “How do we help the person develop the capacity to handle this?” One of the most important distinctions in supporting adult children is not simply how much we help, but the role we're stepping into when we help. The Drama Triangle can pull us into three roles: VICTIM: “I can't handle this.” RESCUER: “I'll handle it for you.” PERSECUTOR: “You shouldn't have gotten yourself into this mess.” The Empowerment Dynamic offers a different way of responding: CREATOR: “What can I do about this?” COACH: “How can I support you in figuring this out?” CHALLENGER: “What might you need to take responsibility for here?” The difference isn't helping vs. not helping. It's taking over vs. helping your adult child remain in ownership of their life. AM I HELPING, SUPPORTING & EMPOWERING — OR RESCUING? When you're tempted to jump in, ask yourself: About responsibility Is this my responsibility—or theirs? Could my child reasonably solve this themselves? Have they actually asked for help? About my motivation Am I helping because they genuinely need support—or because I don't want to watch them struggle? Am I responding to their need—or my own discomfort? Am I trying to make the problem go away? About capacity Will my intervention increase or decrease my child's capacity? Will I be helping them think through options—or making the decision for them? Will they remain an active participant in solving the problem? About the nature of the help Is the help temporary, defined, and purposeful? Would they make the same choice if I weren't available to pay for it? Can I stay connected without taking ownership of the problem? And perhaps the hardest question: Am I preventing a genuinely harmful consequence—or am I preventing my child from experiencing discomfort because I can't tolerate watching them struggle? THE NORTH STAR How can I love my adult child in a way that leaves them more capable, not less? That, ultimately, is the shift from rescuing to empowering. Questions to Ask Yourself When you're deciding whether to step in: What exactly is my job now? How can I support my child in becoming more capable of handling this? Is my support helping my child become more capable—or helping my child avoid becoming more capable? Can I afford to help—and more importantly, is helping actually helpful? What do you think you're going to do? Is this an uncomfortable consequence—or is this an unsafe situation? Would you like me to listen, brainstorm with you, or help you think through your options? Questions That Keep Your Adult Child in Ownership What can I do about this? How can I support you in figuring this out? What might you need to take responsibility for here? What do you think you want to do? If you want to be able to cover your rent independently, what needs to change? Does my child have a plan? Is this help temporary or open-ended? Does my child understand what things cost? Are they making reasonable efforts toward independence? Am I helping because they genuinely need help—or because I don't want to watch them struggle? Would they make the same choice if I weren't available to pay for it? Will my intervention increase or decrease my child's capacity? The “Am I Helping or Rescuing?” Check Before you jump in, ask: Is there actual danger? Is this my responsibility or theirs? Could they reasonably solve this themselves? Have they actually asked for help? Will my intervention increase or decrease their capacity? Is the help temporary, defined and purposeful? Am I preventing a genuinely harmful consequence—or am I preventing my child from experiencing discomfort because I can't tolerate watching them struggle? And Maybe the Biggest Question How can I love my adult child in a way that leaves them more capable, not less? FREE GUIDE Want a simple way to know when to step in—and when to allow the struggle? Download my free guide: My Adult Child Is Struggling - When Should I Step In? Download the free Window of Tolerance Quick Shot and take a little sip at a time: Window of Tolerance Quick Shot If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who can use support as you navigate a midlife unraveling, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link: Coaching Call with Terri Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected]

When our kids become adults, our job changes—but our love doesn’t. The challenge is learning how to stay supportive and connected without taking over their lives. In this episode, we talk about: The difference between supporting and rescuing Why allowing normal struggle can help young adults build confidence and capacity The Green Light / Yellow Light / Red Light framework for knowing when to step in The question that can change everything: “Will my intervention increase or decrease my child's capacity?” Here are a list of questions from the episode for your consideration: Questions to Ask Yourself When you're deciding whether to step in: What exactly is my job now? How can I support my child in becoming more capable of handling this? Is my support helping my child become more capable—or helping my child avoid becoming more capable? Can I afford to help—and more importantly, is helping actually helpful? What do you think you're going to do? Is this an uncomfortable consequence—or is this an unsafe situation? Would you like me to listen, brainstorm with you, or help you think through your options? Questions That Keep Your Adult Child in Ownership What can I do about this? How can I support you in figuring this out? What might you need to take responsibility for here? What do you think you want to do? If you want to be able to cover your rent independently, what needs to change? Does my child have a plan? Is this help temporary or open-ended? Does my child understand what things cost? Are they making reasonable efforts toward independence? Am I helping because they genuinely need help—or because I don't want to watch them struggle? Would they make the same choice if I weren't available to pay for it? Will my intervention increase or decrease my child's capacity? The “Am I Helping or Rescuing?” Check Before you jump in, ask: Is there actual danger? Is this my responsibility or theirs? Could they reasonably solve this themselves? Have they actually asked for help? Will my intervention increase or decrease their capacity? Is the help temporary, defined and purposeful? Am I preventing a genuinely harmful consequence—or am I preventing my child from experiencing discomfort because I can't tolerate watching them struggle? And Maybe the Biggest Question How can I love my adult child in a way that leaves them more capable, not less?   Free Guide Want a simple way to know when to step in—and when to allow the struggle? Download my free guide HERE- My Adult Child Is Struggling - When Should I Step In? Download the free Window of Tolerance Quick Shot and take a little sip at a time: Window of Tolerance Quick Shot If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who can use support as you navigate a midlife unraveling, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link: Coaching Call with Terri Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected]

Men Have Crises. Women Unravel. What if what we call a “midlife crisis” is actually something very different for women? Brené Brown describes midlife as an unraveling—a gradual realization that the roles, expectations, and coping strategies that once served us may no longer fit the woman we've become. For women, especially after years of active motherhood, this season can bring some uncomfortable questions: Who am I now? What do I actually want? What no longer fits? What have I been doing because I want to—and what have I been doing because I thought I was supposed to? In this episode, we explore why feeling restless, unsettled, or uncertain doesn't necessarily mean something is wrong. Maybe you're not having a crisis. Maybe you're simply outgrowing an old version of your life. And maybe you don't need to blow everything up. Maybe you just need to get curious. Because the second season isn't necessarily about becoming someone new. It's about becoming more honest about who you've become—and intentionally deciding what comes next. In this episode: Why “midlife crisis” may be the wrong framework for women What it means to unravel rather than fall apart The identities and coping strategies we may have outgrown Why our kids growing up can bring identity questions to the surface How to recognize “this doesn't fit anymore” as information, not failure Questions to help you begin designing your next season The question to take with you: Who am I when I'm not simply being who everyone else needs me to be?   Ever wonder why you sometimes feel overwhelmed and wired, while other times you feel shut down and exhausted? The Window of Tolerance can help you understand what’s happening in your nervous system—and what you can do next. In my new free resource, The Window of Tolerance Quick Shot, I’ll pour you a simple, step-by-step guide designed to help you take little sips of information, notice your personal patterns, and experiment with what helps you regulate. You’ll learn: Why the Window of Tolerance matters The simplest way to use it: Do I have too much energy or too little? How to begin noticing your own signs Why the goal isn't to find the “right” tool—but to discover what works for you Download the free Window of Tolerance Quick Shot and take a little sip at a time: Window of Tolerance Quick Shot If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who can use support as you navigate a midlife unraveling, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link: Coaching Call with Terri Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected]

The Window of Tolerance Quick Shot Ever wonder why you sometimes feel overwhelmed and wired, while other times you feel shut down and exhausted? The Window of Tolerance can help you understand what’s happening in your nervous system—and what you can do next. In this episode, I introduce my new free resource, The Window of Tolerance Quick Shot: a simple, step-by-step guide designed to help you take little sips of information, notice your personal patterns, and experiment with what helps you regulate. In this episode: Why the Window of Tolerance matters The simplest way to use it: Do I have too much energy or too little? How to begin noticing your own signs Why the goal isn't to find the “right” tool—but to discover what works for you Download the free Window of Tolerance Quick Shot and take a little sip at a time: Window of Tolerance Quick Shot If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who can use support as you manage stress in your next chapter, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link: Coaching Call with Terri Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

What if decluttering isn’t really about having a cleaner, more organized home—but about creating space for your next season? Inspired by Somer Lynn’s The Uncluttered Project, we explore her powerful idea: “When your home stops overwhelming you, two doors open.” Door one: the people. More space and mental capacity to be present with the people you love. Door two: the life you’re meaning to create. More room to imagine, choose, and build what’s next. Because your brain can’t build in a buried house. In this episode, we’ll look at what your clutter might be taking up besides physical space—and how clearing what no longer belongs can make room for the life you actually want to create. To find Somer: Instagram: @its.somerlynn I highly recommend her book: The Uncluttered Project Book   If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who can use support as you intentionally craft a new theme for your next chapter, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link: Coaching Call with Terri Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

When your children are grown, the question isn't necessarily “What should I do now?” A more interesting question is: “What do I want this next chapter of my life to be about?” A life theme isn't a goal, a resolution, or a five-year plan. It's a direction. A quality you want to cultivate. A question you want to explore. A way you want to experience this season of your life. For women who spent years organizing their lives around their children, this can be an opportunity to consciously decide what comes next. 1. Identity: Who Am I Now? For years, motherhood may have been the organizing structure of your life. Now you may be asking: Who am I beyond being Mom? What parts of myself got put on hold? What do I like now? What am I curious about? What strengths have I developed that I want to use differently? Who am I becoming? Theme: Moving from identity-by-role to identity-by-choice. 2. Freedom & Choice: What Do I Actually Want? One of the gifts of this stage can be realizing how much choice you have. You don't necessarily have to keep doing things because you've always done them. You can ask: What do I want my days to look like? What would I choose if I didn't have to explain it? What am I doing because I want to—and what am I doing because I feel obligated? Where do I want more freedom? Where am I ready to say no? Theme: Choosing based on desire rather than obligation. 3. Letting Go: What No Longer Fits? A new chapter often requires some editing. That might mean letting go of: An outdated identity A commitment A relationship dynamic Possessions Expectations Guilt Perfectionism The belief that you have to be needed to be valuable Sometimes the most important question isn't “What should I add?” It's: “What am I finished with?” Theme: Creating space for what's next by releasing what no longer belongs. 4. Contribution: What Do I Want to Do With What I Know Now? You have decades of experience, skills, relationships, perspective, and hard-earned wisdom. How might you use that now? Maybe it's: Returning to work Starting a business Mentoring Teaching Volunteering Creating something Leading Supporting a cause Finally pursuing an idea you've carried for years The question becomes: “What still has my name on it?” Theme: Turning experience into meaningful contribution. 5. Relationships: Who Do I Want Around Me Now? This season can change your relationships—not necessarily because something is wrong, but because you are changing. You might want to: Deepen friendships Make new friends Redefine your marriage Develop a different relationship with your adult children Stop over-functioning for other people Create more reciprocal relationships Become more intentional about who gets your time and energy A particularly important shift: Moving from being needed to being connected. 6. Pleasure: What Fills Me Up? Motherhood can make productivity feel like the measure of a good day. This chapter can invite a different question: “What do I enjoy?” Not what is useful. Not what makes you a good wife, mother, or employee. What actually feels good? Think: Travel Friends Food Creativity Music Exercise Beauty Hobbies Adventure Learning Sex Laughter Spontaneity Theme: Building a life that contains pleasure—not just responsibility. 7. Lifestyle: How Do I Want My Life to Feel? This is bigger than what you do. It's about the experience of your everyday life. Ask: What do I want my mornings to feel like? What kind of home do I want to live in? How much structure do I want? How much spontaneity? Do I want to travel more? What rituals do I want? What do I want my calendar to look like? What would make an ordinary Tuesday feel really good? Theme: Designing a lifestyle that fits who you are now. 8. Meaning: What Makes This Chapter Matter? Eventually, the question may move beyond: “What do I want to do?” to: “What do I want my life to mean?” That could involve: Family Community Creativity Service Spirituality Mentoring Legacy Personal growth Making a difference This isn't necessarily about doing something big. It may simply be about creating a life that feels satisfying, enjoyable, and meaningful. 9. Courage & Expansion: What If I Stopped Waiting? There can be a temptation in midlife to make life smaller. But what if this season is actually an invitation to expand? Try something you've never done Be a beginner Take a risk Travel somewhere new Start something Make the decision you've been avoiding Become more visible Say yes to something that scares you Theme: Expansion instead of contraction. The Bigger Question Instead of asking: “What am I supposed to do now that my kids are grown?” Try asking: “What do I want this chapter of my life to be about?” And you don't have to choose one theme forever. Your theme might be: Freedom. Or Adventure. Or Friendship. Or Contribution. Or Creativity. Or Simplification. Or Pleasure. Or Courage. Or maybe it's simply: “I'm figuring out who I am now.” The goal isn't to create a perfect second act. It's to become intentional about the life you're creating now. Closing thought Your children's lives may no longer need to be the organizing principle of yours. That doesn't mean motherhood is over. It means there is room for more. More choice. More identity. More friendship. More pleasure. More purpose. More you. And the question isn't “What should I do next?” It's: “What do I want this next chapter to be about?” If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who can use support as you intentionally craft a new theme for your next chapter, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link: Coaching Call with Terri Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

There’s a particular feeling that happens when your adult child has been home for a while—and suddenly, you realize their time at home is coming to an end. Maybe they’re heading back to college. Maybe they’re going back to their apartment. Maybe they’re leaving for a new job or a new chapter. And you can feel it coming. And there’s this ache. You start noticing the little things you’re going to miss. And there can be this very real sadness. And then… There’s another feeling. One that we don't always talk about. Relief. You might be looking at the calendar and thinking: Okay… three more days. And then immediately feeling guilty because you’re thinking: Wait. Why am I counting down? Maybe you’re ready to get your routine back. You’re ready to eat what you want for dinner. You’re ready to go to bed when you want to go to bed. You’re ready to have the bathroom to yourself. You’re ready to put things where you want them. You’re ready to have your quiet house back. You’re ready to have your space back. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. You can miss your child and be relieved that they’re leaving. Those feelings don't cancel each other out. In fact, I think sometimes we misunderstand relief. We think relief means, I'm glad you're gone. But that's not necessarily what relief means. Sometimes relief simply means: I love having you here, AND I love having my life back. Because when our children come home, even when they're adults, we often shift. We accommodate. We adjust our schedules. We think about what they might want to eat. We listen for the front door. We make room—literally and emotionally. And when they leave, there can be this exhale. Not because we don't love them. But because we're allowed to love our own lives, too. And I think that's one of the beautiful challenges of this second season of motherhood. We're learning that loving our children doesn't require us to abandon ourselves. We can be deeply connected to them without needing them physically present. We can miss them without needing them back. We can be sad when they leave and excited about what we're going to do with the space they've left behind. And maybe that's the invitation here: Instead of judging the feeling, let yourself feel the whole thing. Let yourself be sad. And, then, ask yourself: “Now that I have my space back, what do I want to do with it?” Because maybe this isn't about choosing between missing your child and enjoying your freedom. Maybe this season is about learning that you get to have both. You get to love them. You get to miss them. And you get to love the life you're building when they're not home. And none of that makes you a bad mom. It might actually mean you're becoming a very healthy one. If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who can use support as you navigate grief and welcome relief, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link: Coaching Call with Terri Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

In our friendships and friend groups, we either show up as a liability or an asset. “People don’t like you because they immediately sense that you’re a survival liability.”   Donald Miller   When you are coming across as a survival liability when you are engaging in one of these 4 “N’s”:   You have a pattern of being:   Negative: draining or depleting.  Needy: you require a lot of attention and take up way more “air time” than others. You may be clingy or pushy.  Not safe: others don’t trust you. You might exhibit “black or white” thinking or are repeatedly righteous and judgmental.  Not accountable: you are in the habit of “playing the Victim” and blaming others for your emotions.    In order to be an asset in your friendships, focus on:   Developing the gifts and strengths you can offer to others Be genuinely interested IN others, rather than trying too hard to appear “interesting” TO others Be mindful of granting others equal air time If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who can use support as you develop friendship strategies and strenghts, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link: Coaching Call with Terri Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

So much of our lives happen by default. We inherit beliefs. We inherit traditions. We inherit routines. We inherit friendships. We inherit responsibilities. We inherit identities. Eventually we wake up one day and realize: "I'm managing a life I didn't intentionally create." Rather than endlessly tweaking what's no longer working, sometimes the healthiest thing to do is pause. Empty everything out. Then consciously decide what deserves to come back in. "I think one of the biggest mistakes we make is assuming that because something came into our life naturally, it should stay forever." Examples: Friend groups Volunteer commitments Family roles Morning routines Businesses Book clubs Workout groups Parenting identities Traditions Belief systems Career paths None of these are sacred simply because they've existed a long time. Instead of asking: "How do I make this work?" Ask: "If I were starting from scratch today... would I build this?" Step One Pause Don't redesign while you're emotionally flooded. Create space. Step Two Empty the “Room” Mentally remove everything. Imagine nothing exists. Step Three Choose Intentionally Ask: What deserves to come back? What has earned a place? What no longer fits? Step Four Rebuild on Purpose Now create systems. Boundaries. Expectations. Culture. Don't simply recreate what you've always had. The second season of life isn't just about discovering who you are. It's about becoming the intentional creator of your life instead of the caretaker of a life that accumulated by default.  If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who can use support to discern what no longer fits in your life, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link: Coaching Call with Terri Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

There’s a difference between feel envious of women who are young and experiencing grief over what you didn’t get to experience while you were young.  If you've found yourself feeling unexpectedly emotional while watching younger people live their lives, I want to offer you this thought: Maybe you're not jealous. Maybe you're grieving If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who can use some support and encouragement as you grieve what you didn’t get to experience while you were young, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link: Coaching Call with Terri Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory Episode Show Notes No one prepares us for the complicated emotions that come with parenting adult children.  In this episode, I'm talking honestly about the sting of unmet expectations, broken promises, and the stories we tell ourselves when our kids' choices don't align with what we hoped for. We'll explore the "manuals" we carry about how our adult children should behave, how to separate disappointment from the meaning we assign to it, and why boundaries aren't about controlling our kids—they're about deciding how we want to show up regardless of what they choose. You can love your adult children deeply, celebrate their independence, and still feel hurt when they disappoint you.  If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who can use some support and encouragement as you navigate disappointment in the relationship with your adult children, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link: Coaching Call with Terri Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

When we unintentionally measure our worth by the wrong things, we struggle to feel confident.  For years, I measured my worth by who chose me—and who didn't. No amount of achievement could outweigh the fact that I didn't have a boyfriend until my third year of college. Attending my recent 40th high school reunion led me to a question I think every woman should ask: What are you measuring yourself by? Whether it's your relationships, your children's need for you, other people's approval, or your accomplishments, the "ruler" you use will shape how you see yourself. In this episode, I explore why confidence isn't about what others see—it's about the standard we use to evaluate our own worth, and how choosing a better measuring stick can change the way we experience our second season of life. If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who can use some support and encouragement as you intentionally find better ways to measure your progress, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link: Coaching Call with Terri Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

Why Midlife Moms Struggle to Stay Present Do you find yourself replaying the past or worrying about the future instead of fully experiencing your life right now? In this episode, we're exploring why so many midlife moms get stuck in regret, rumination, and worry—and why staying present can feel surprisingly difficult during this season of life. After spending years caring for others, planning ahead, and anticipating everyone's needs, many women discover that uncertainty feels uncomfortable and the present moment feels unfamiliar. We'll talk about why uncertainty often pulls us out of the present moment and simple questions you can use to help you return to what's happening right now. If you've been feeling distracted by what was or preoccupied with what might be, this episode will help you understand why—and how to reconnect with the life that's unfolding in front of you today. If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who can use some support and encouragement as you navigate uncertainty with your adult children in the second half of life, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link: Coaching Call with Terri Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory

Navigating Difficult Conversations Difficult conversations don't have to turn into battles. A simple framework can help you communicate clearly while staying connected. Share Your Observations Start with what you've noticed, not accusations. "I've noticed that when we have differing opinions, you tend to raise your voice or yell." Address the Impact Explain how their behavior affects you. "When you yell, I feel uncomfortable and notice myself starting to shut down." Get Curious Invite them to share their experience. "Does that make sense to you? Can you help me understand what's going on for you in those moments?" Make a Request Clearly state what you'd like to happen moving forward. "Going forward, if you're not able to discuss something calmly, please let me know. If things become heated, we'll take a break and circle back when we can both discuss it calmly." Most Important: Before initiating any difficult conversation, check in with your own nervous system. If you still feel an urgent need to address it immediately, there's a good chance you haven't fully processed your emotions yet. Regulate first. Then communicate. If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who can use some support and encouragement as you navigate difficult conversations with your adult children, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link: Coaching Call with Terri Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you.  If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast.  Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode.  My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour: Intentional Intoxication Book If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat: [email protected] For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory: Intoxication Inventory