Advertise on podcast: The Huddle Wisdom Podcast with Dr Davin Tan

The Lindsay Clancy case has generated strong opinions about psychiatric medication, postpartum psychosis, risk assessment and clinical responsibility. It also gives us an opportunity to examine how we think about difficult cases. We know the outcome. The clinicians making decisions at the time did not. That distinction is easy to lose. Once we know what happened, earlier events can appear more predictable than they actually were. Information that seemed insignificant can suddenly look important. Decisions that were reasonable at the time can look obviously wrong. This is hindsight bias. The case also raises difficult questions about causation. A medication may be associated with an event without causing it. A clinical decision can be followed by a tragic outcome without being responsible for that outcome. None of this removes the need to examine what happened. It does mean we need to be careful about the conclusions we draw from it. I discuss these issues in this episode, and why they are relevant to how we think about our children. Because parenting involves the same problem. We make decisions with incomplete information. We interpret behaviour. We try to work out what is happening while we are still in the middle of it. The ability to think clearly under those conditions is one of the things I explore in The Parent’s Mindset. Get the ebook here: https://www.huddlewisdom.com/the-parent-s-mindset-ebook

Have you ever lost your cool over something tiny? I explain why those moments aren't always about your child. We dive deep into the concept of the 'inner child' and how our own unprocessed childhood experiences can hijack our nervous system, causing us to overreact. This isn't about blaming yourself...it's about gaining awareness, taking back control, and building a more connected, calm relationship with your child (and yourself). In This Episode, We Discuss: The "inner child": What it is, why it gets triggered in parenting, and how it can lead to disproportionate reactions. Inner Child vs. Adult Self: The subtle (and sometimes not-so-subtle) battle between these two parts of you and how it plays out in your home. The Power of Awareness: Why simply noticing your triggers is the first step to shifting from a reactive parent to a reflective one. Practical Tools for Parents: Simple, effective strategies to calm your nervous system and respond to your child with more wisdom and less rage.   Find me on Instagram for daily wisdom and community discussion:Huddle Wisdom Parenting   Connect & Subscribe:  If you found this episode helpful, please leave us a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify! It helps other parents find our show. And don't forget to hit "follow" so you never miss an episode. Until next time, take care of yourselves and the young people in your lives. Hosted by Dr. Davin Tan Child Psychiatrist.

Huddle Wisdom: Navigating Exam Season    Exams are looming, and the pressure cooker is on. Not just for our kids, but for parents too. In this episode of Huddle Wisdom, Dr. Davin Tan shares how to help your family navigate this stressful time with grace, calm, and connection. This isn't about micromanaging study sessions; it's about shifting from being a performance manager to being a calm captain.    Key Takeaways   The Myth of Pressure: The idea that pressure equals performance is a myth. When stress tips into anxiety, it hijacks your child's ability to think clearly. The brain's survival mode takes over, not the logical, problem solving part. Your Calm is Contagious: A child's nervous system co regulates with yours. The single most powerful thing you can do is to regulate yourself. Create a calm environment, even if it's just a few minutes of quiet time together. Reframe Anxiety: Anxiety isn't the enemy; it's a signal that something matters. Help your child name their feelings without judgement, which separates the emotion from their identity. Connection Over Correction: Your child's worth is not tied to a grade. Your job is to be their safe harbour and corner, not just their coach. Your presence, like making a snack or just sitting nearby, is often more supportive than any academic advice. For Students: The episode also has a special message for students. Don't look at the big picture, work in small chunks. Sleep is not wasted time; it's when your brain stores what you've learned. And remember, feeling nervous doesn't mean you're doomed; it just means you care.

Parents often wonder why I notice things about their child that they don’t. In this episode, I explain why that happens (hint: it’s not because you’re failing), and I share a simple Jedi-inspired exercise that helps you start noticing the subtle signs of safety, stress, and connection in your child. What you’ll learn in this episode: Why kids act differently with me than with you. How to reframe the “messy” behaviours you see at home. A 5-minute noticing exercise that gives you surprising insights. How tuning in with your heart, not your head, builds connection. Links and Resources: Explore the Making Sense of Anxious Children course: huddlewisdom.com  Follow me on Instagram: @huddle_wisdom_parenting

If you’ve ever been told to “just stay calm” or “be consistent” but no one actually showed you how to do that in the middle of your child’s meltdown, this episode is for you. Child psychiatrist Dr Davin Tan unpacks why simplistic advice leaves so many parents of anxious and neurodivergent kids feeling like they’re not enough. We talk about how chasing perfection can burn you out, why perfection doesn’t actually exist, and how embracing the courage to be imperfect can transform the way you connect with your child. You’ll get real-life strategies you can actually use during those emotional storms, even on your worst parenting days. In this episode you’ll hear:• Why generic parenting advice often backfires• How perfectionism quietly fuels exhaustion and guilt• What the courage to be imperfect looks like in real life• Practical ways to support anxious kids in the heat of the moment• Why repairing after a blow-up matters more than never losing it in the first place Who it’s for:Parents and caregivers raising anxious, sensitive or neurodivergent children who want something more useful than a motivational quote. Keywords:parenting anxious kids, parenting neurodivergent kids, perfectionism in parenting, how to support an anxious child, good enough parenting, helping kids through meltdowns, emotional regulation in children, parental burnout, child psychiatrist tips This episode also features a short clip from the film Anger Management (2003) starring Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson, used here for commentary and educational purposes. Listen now and find out how to parent with presence instead of perfection. LINK to Resource: www.huddlewisdom.com 🎧👍👍👍

In this episode, Dr. Davin Tan helps parents understand what to do when their child is having a meltdown. He explains why our typical response, "calm down," is not only ineffective but can also make things worse. Dr. Tan makes the powerful connection between a body overheating in a heatwave and a child's nervous system going into full activation. In this state, the rational part of their brain is offline, so telling them to "calm down" is like telling someone to "cool down" when they can't. The goal isn't to make their feelings disappear; it's to help them feel safe and understood. Dr. Tan shares five powerful, research-backed phrases to use instead, turning a moment of chaos into a chance for connection and learning. Five Phrases to Try: "Looks like that really got to you." "Take your time. I'm here." "This feels intense, huh?" "This is tough. Want to sit with me for a bit?" "We'll figure this out together." Remember: They're not giving you a hard time; they're having a hard time. By responding with empathy, you can help build your child's resilience and strengthen your bond. Find out more here! www.huddlewisdom.com

Struggling with a child who seems defiant, argumentative, or won't follow simple instructions? Before you assume it's misbehaviour, there might be something deeper going on. In this episode, we explore how childhood anxiety can disguise itself as challenging behaviour and share practical ways to recognise the difference. .... MAKING SENSE OF ANXIOUS KIDS - Enrol Now in the self paced program that will well, help you make a lot of sense of anxious, moody and sensitive kids. Why feel overwhelmed, when you can help that? Check it out. www.huddlewisdom.com

Before we became parents we had all sorts of ideas about what it would be like, stemming from our past experiences, memories, books, hopes and dreams, other peoples ideas...but it's not quite the same thing becoming a parent. I'd personally never have it any other way but there are things we don't anticipate if our children are of a certain sensitive temperament and experience great anxiety; we might not be prepared for the reactivity, the unpredictability of emotional upheaval, the overwhelm, the feeling of 'nothing's working'.  Let me help you out a little bit...there are 3 important mindset shifts or mental models that builds a framework that could turn things around.  1. regulation over reaction 2. curiosity instead of judgement 3. connection before correction Tune in to learn more.  Also go check out the Emotional Storm Module from the Making Sense of Anxious Kids program...you can access that completely free if you sign up on our website : www.huddlewisdom.com You won't regret it!

This episode is about the version of parenting no one talks about. The one where you’re running on almost nothing. Where your child still needs you, and you’re not sure what you have left to give. We’re not talking about burnout as a concept, or fatigue as a buzzword. We’re talking about the real-life moments when you're holding a meltdown with one hand and your own regulation with the other. When you want to be calm, present, available but you’re overstretched and running late and the toast is wrong again. This conversation won’t give you tricks. Just clarity. A way to think about tiredness that doesn’t make it a personal failing. A way to respond to your child without having to pretend you’re okay. For parents who are doing their best, even when their best is quiet, slow, and not very pretty. Mentioned in this episode: Making Sense of Anxious Children A course for parents who want to understand what’s really going on beneath the behaviour Available at www.huddlewisdom.com

Is your child's misbehaviour leaving you frustrated, confused, or exhausted? You're not alone. In this powerful episode of The Huddle Wisdom Podcast, host Dr Tan unpacks a crucial concept that will transform how you view your child's struggles: challenging behaviour is not the problem, it's the signal. Learn why parents often fall into the trap of "fixing the smoke" (addressing outward child behaviour like yelling, tantrums, defiance, or meltdowns) instead of uncovering the true "fire" beneath. Often anxiety, overwhelm, perfectionism, or unmet emotional needs. Learn actionable strategies to: Pause before reacting to your child's difficult moments. Get curious, not furious, about what might be driving their actions. Gently name the underlying emotions or "fire" you observe. Stay present and connect, even when things feel chaotic.   To navigate your anxious child's behavior with confidence and calm, explore Dr Davin Tan's signature online course: "Making Sense of Anxious Children." Learn how to identify those hidden fires, build essential communication skills, and foster a more peaceful home environment. Find out more and enroll today at: www.huddlewisdom.com In this episode, you will learn: Why misbehaviour is a signal, not the core problem. The dangers of "smoke-fixing" in child behavior. How to identify the "fire" (underlying anxiety or needs) beneath challenging behaviors. Practical steps to respond with curiosity and connection instead of frustration. A real-life example of transforming homework meltdowns by addressing underlying perfectionism.

Ever found yourself thinking, “Why is my child acting like this?” In this first episode, we reframe what many of us call "misbehaviour" not as disobedience, but as a signal of stress, overwhelm, or mismatch between a child and their environment. You’ll hear: Why some children “explode” over nothing How stress builds under the surface until it doesn’t Why focusing on behavior misses the point A different way to respond (that actually helps) This isn’t about letting kids off the hook. It’s about understanding what’s actually going on so you can stop firefighting and start connecting. Mentioned in this episode: 🎓 Making Sense of Anxious Children : The self-paced course for parents who are ready to stop reacting and start relating. 👉 Enrol or learn more here   🧠 More resources at huddlewisdom.com

When Connection Feels Impossible: Parenting Through the Disconnection Feeling disconnected from your child? This Huddle Wisdom podcast episode with Dr. Davin Tan explores why kids withdraw and offers practical parenting strategies for staying grounded and fostering connection, even when it feels impossible. Learn the power of presence and how to navigate those challenging moments of silence and emotional distance.  Key Discussion Points: Understanding the frustration and pain of feeling disconnected from your child. Recognising that disconnection isn't always personal rejection but can be a sign of a child's internal struggles. The counterintuitive power of "being there" without demanding a response. Why pushing for conversation or resorting to control can backfire. The importance of creating a safe, non-judgmental space for children to open up when they are ready. The concept of "containment", offering a steady and emotionally regulated presence. Acknowledging the difficulty of remaining present and patient during disconnection. Reframing connection as an ongoing process built through consistent, small acts of support. The enduring impact of a parent's unwavering love and availability, even in silence. Resources Mentioned:  Courses: Parenting for Anxious Children, Making Sense of Anxious Children Actionable Advice: Focus on consistent presence rather than forcing interaction. Offer a calm and reassuring energy in shared spaces. Resist the urge to ask accusatory questions or demand explanations. Practice patience and create a safe space for future communication. Be a steady anchor point, allowing your child to process their emotions. Remember that your consistent support is making a difference, even if it's not immediately visible.

In this episode, Dr. Davin Tan explores a powerful shift in how we respond to anxiety in our children, not by rushing to fix, but by staying present. When your child is overwhelmed, your calm presence, not your solutions can be the most healing thing you offer. Through quiet reflection, grounded insight, and relatable examples, Dr. Tan helps parents understand why emotional safety matters more than strategies, and how doing less can actually help our children feel more seen, safe, and supported. Why “fixing” your child’s anxiety often backfires The deeper message we send when we try to calm emotions quickly What it means to stay present instead of reactive Practical language and mindset shifts that help anxious children feel safe How presence, not perfection, builds emotional resilience       🎧 Audio Course: Parenting for Anxious Children  Website: www.huddlewisdom.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/huddle_wisdom_parenting/  Newsletter: https://www.huddlewisdom.com/14days for insights, and resources

In this episode, Dr. Davin Tan addresses a common but often unspoken fear among parents: "Am I raising a child who lacks empathy?"  He explores the complexities of childhood development, distinguishing between normal behaviors and potential red flags. Dr. Tan explores the neurological basis of empathy, the influence of parenting styles, and practical strategies for nurturing compassion in children. He also discusses when to seek professional help and offers hope for families facing challenging behavioral patterns.   Key Takeaways:   Empathy develops gradually and unevenly throughout childhood. Many behaviors that seem callous are actually developmental or related to anxiety. Authoritative parenting (clear boundaries with high warmth) is most conducive to empathy development. Children learn empathy by experiencing empathy and having their emotions validated. Practical strategies like emotional coaching, perspective-taking, and repair after conflict can nurture empathy. Professional help is beneficial when behavioral concerns persist or significantly change. RESOURCES: www.huddlewisdom.com/courses

Raising children is a unique journey for every family, but when siblings have different neurotypes, the path can feel particularly complex. This insightful episode dives deep into the realities of nurturing neurodivergent children within the same household. Learn practical, actionable strategies to bridge communication gaps, understand and accommodate diverse sensory needs, and navigate the varied ways anxiety can manifest. Discover how to cultivate an environment of open communication, create a truly supportive home sanctuary, and recognize the vital importance of individual decompression time. For parents seeking to move beyond daily challenges and foster profound connection and growth with each of their neurodivergent children, this episode offers essential guidance and heartfelt understanding. Key Takeaways: Reframing Neurodiversity: Understand the fundamental concept of neurodiversity as natural human variation, shifting the focus from "problems" to unique strengths and needs. Beyond "Fair": Individualized Approaches: Explore why treating all children the same isn't always equitable and learn how to implement truly individualized strategies that honor each child's unique profile. Bridging the Divide: Gain practical techniques for effectively addressing communication breakdowns and navigating the often-significant differences in sensory processing. Understanding Anxiety's Many Faces: Learn to recognize and respond to the diverse ways anxiety can present itself in neurodivergent children, moving beyond traditional presentations. Building a Supportive Ecosystem: Discover concrete tips for fostering open dialogue, creating a home environment optimized for diverse needs, and establishing predictable and supportive routines.   Audio Program: https://www.huddlewisdom.com/empathicdiscipline