Advertise on podcast: Untethered: Healing the Pain from a Sudden Death

Today's episode explores what happens when traumatic loss isn't an isolated event, but something woven into the everyday reality of a community. Big John Harriel Jr. joins us to talk about repeated exposure to violence and loss, what it takes to process grief rather than go numb to it, and how self-esteem, accountability, and healing are connected. He also shares his own journey - from experiencing and causing harm in his community to dedicating his life to helping young people build healthier lives, find meaningful careers, and become builders of their own communities. Key Points: Grief in communities marked by repeated loss. When violence and loss show up again and again in a community, the pain doesn't disappear just because people become accustomed to it - repeated exposure can lead to numbness rather than resolution.   Learning to process grief, not just survive it. A central theme of the conversation is the importance of actively learning how to process grief, rather than letting it go unaddressed or normalized. Self-esteem, accountability, and healing are connected. Big John speaks to how a person's sense of self-worth and their willingness to take accountability for their actions are tied directly to their capacity to heal. From causing harm to building others up. Big John shares his personal journey, including his own experience both experiencing and causing harm in his community, and how that history became the foundation for his current work helping young people find healthier paths, meaningful careers, and a sense of purpose as builders of their communities. Healing begins with acknowledgment. A closing theme: healing isn't automatic just because a community has "gotten used to" loss - it starts with acknowledging what happened, doing the work to process it, and walking alongside one another rather than facing it alone. To learn more, visit Big John’s website: BigJohnKares.com

In this episode I interviewed Caralee Hudson, a retired ICU and CCU nurse and volunteer grief group facilitator, about supporting individuals after sudden and unexpected loss. Key Takeaways:  Sudden loss brings unique challenges, often including trauma, guilt, anger, and unanswered questions that can complicate the grieving process. Healing happens in connection, and grief support groups provide a compassionate space where people feel seen, heard, and understood. You don't have to fix grief to help - simply being present, listening, and bearing witness can be one of the greatest gifts you offer someone who is grieving.

In this episode, I interview Yvette Marintez-Rea, a 52-year-old executive, mother, and widow, who shares what it has been like to rebuild her life after the sudden death of her husband, Andy. Four years into her grief journey, she reflects on loss while raising teenagers, having a full career, and the new financial circumstances she had to learn to navigate. Together, we explore anticipatory grief, the practical realities of widowhood, milestones without a spouse, resilience, and the unexpected growth that can emerge after profound loss. Key Takeaways: Grief is not a linear process and continues to evolve over time. Practical and financial realities can be as challenging as the emotional impact of loss. Parenting through grief requires balancing one's own healing with supporting children. Milestones and transitions often bring renewed waves of grief. It is possible to experience joy, purpose, and growth alongside grief. Resources:  Are You Financially and Legally Prepared for Loss?: Yvette Martinez-Rea

Today’s conversation explores grief that is often overlooked, minimized, or misunderstood - the loss of a close friend. While friendships can be some of the most meaningful relationships in our lives, the grief that follows their loss is not always acknowledged or supported in the ways it deserves.   In this interview, I’m joined by Hannah Rumsey, who shares the story of her friend Lauren and the significant impact her death had on her life. Together, we explore disenfranchised grief; grief that is not fully recognized by society, and how that lack of acknowledgment can deepen feelings of isolation. We also examine how grief evolves over time, how loss can shape identity, and why creating spaces for people to feel seen, heard, and supported is so important.   This episode is a heartfelt conversation about friendship, love, loss, and the courage it takes to move forward when life changes in an instant.   In This Episode, We Discuss: What disenfranchised grief is and why it matters The unique pain of losing a close friend How societal norms can minimize certain types of grief The evolving nature of grief over time Identity shifts after loss The importance of community, validation, and support

In today’s episode, we explore the reality of sudden and unexpected loss, the kind of loss that fractures life into a clear before and after. I’m joined by Dr. Britta Wilson-Uter, who speaks with honesty, depth, and moments of gentle humor about continuing to live after the sudden death of her husband, Jeffrey. Britta offers a powerful and relatable metaphor for traumatic grief, describing it as landing on a new planet that looks familiar but feels completely unfamiliar.  A place where everything appears the same, yet nothing truly is. Together, we discuss the layered experience of grief, including: The shock and disorientation of sudden loss Traumatic grief and its impact on the body and nervous system The often-overlooked reality of secondary losses How relationships change after a death What meaningful support actually looks like in the aftermath of loss - and what doesn’t Britta’s reflections are generous, grounded, and deeply human. This conversation offers validation for those navigating grief, as well as insight for anyone wanting to better support someone who is. I’m deeply grateful to share Britta’s voice, wisdom, and lived experience with you today.

September is National Suicide Prevention and Awareness Month, a time when advocates, organizations, survivors, allies and communities come together to raise awareness and promote prevention. In this episode, Dr. Jennifer R. Levin speaks with Bob O’Brien, who shares the story of his son Aidan, who died by suicide just over six months ago. This conversation is being released on September 10, 2025 - World Suicide Prevention Day, during National Suicide Prevention Week. Together, we shine a light on suicide prevention, to reduce stigma, and encourage open dialogue about mental health and the devastating impact of suicide. In This Episode: Suicide statistics and alarming trends among youth: In 2023, more than 49,300 Americans died by suicide; one every 11 minutes (CDC). Suicide rates among ages 10–24 increased 62% between 2007 and 2021 (CDC). Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death for ages 10-14 and the 3rd for ages 15-24 (NAMI). Why numbers represent not just data, but families and communities forever changed. Bob O’Brien’s personal story of loss and the legacy of his son Aidan. The importance of awareness, prevention, and open conversations around suicide. Resources and support available for those who are struggling or grieving. Resources & Support If you or someone you love is experiencing suicidal thoughts or emotional distress, help is available: Dial or text 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24/7. For more information and resources about coping after suicide, visit www.therapyheals.com. Talking about suicide is not easy, but every conversation matters. Reaching out for help is a sign of strength—and each of us has the power to make a difference.

Today I'm joined by Jana DeCristofaro, Advocacy and Education Manager at Dougy Center: The National Grief Center for Children and Families. For over 20 years, Jana has been a steady presence in the world of grief support, facilitating peer groups, developing trainings and resources, and hosting the highly respected podcast Grief Out Loud. In this episode, Jana shares how she first entered the field of grief work through Dougy Center’s pioneering peer support model, and how that framework continues to shape the compassionate, non-prescriptive way she holds space for children, teens, and adults who are grieving. We also explore: The evolution of Grief Out Loud and what Jana has learned through over 300 conversations about loss Recurring themes that surface in the stories of grief she helps amplify How her own personal losses, especially the death of her dog, have deepened her connection to the work Why she favors offering “permission slips” over advice for those navigating grief This thoughtful, grounded conversation offers deep insight into what it means to support others through grief, and how grief, in turn, shapes us.

In this episode, Dr. Jennifer Levin is joined by grief specialist Erin Gaffney, who shares the personal story of losing her twin sister in a tragic accident 25 years ago. This life-altering loss not only shaped Erin’s own healing journey but also inspired her to support others through similar experiences. Today, she works with individuals grieving the death of a sibling, with a special focus on twin loss. Her personal experience with traumatic grief brings depth, compassion, and meaningful work with her clients.   Key takeaways: Erin opens up about the unique and often misunderstood grief that follows the loss of a twin, and how this traumatic experience led her to a career helping others navigate sibling and twin loss. Jennifer and Erin explore the complexities of this kind of grief, the long-term impact of sudden death, and the paths toward healing and connection.   You can reach out to Erin at [email protected] or learn more by visiting her website: www.mirarigriefcoaching.com.   To learn more about hope and guidance after sudden or unexpected death please visit therapyheals.com and to learn about my new book - The Traumatic Loss Workbook: powerful skills for navigating the grief caused by a sudden or unexpected death at www.therapyheals.com.

Today's interview is with Ed Santos, a business executive whose life was forever altered by the unexpected suicide of his daughter, Sabrina. Ed has contemplated sharing his personal journey to help others who may be facing similar challenges for some time. In this interview he opens up about his understanding of mental health before Sabrina's death, the immediate grief he experienced after her death, and how his coping process has evolved over the course of two years.   Ed shares his beliefs about grief, the role of therapy, and his reflections on the emotional complexities of losing a child. This conversation offers a raw, honest look at the unpredictable nature of traumatic grief and how the bond between a parent and child endures over time.   Key Takeaways: Grief after a suicide loss of a child is life altering and indescribable. It is not always apparent when a loved one is struggling with a mental health challenge. Therapy and support groups can be important tools for processing the changing emotions associated with suicide loss.

Today's interview is with Sara Cobb, who begins her powerful story by sharing that she was born into traumatic grief. Sara explains that her older brother passed away less than a year before she was born, and she reflects on how this loss impacted her and her surviving sibling as they grew up.   Sara goes on to describe how grief shaped her family life, influenced her career choices, and contributed to a second devastating loss she endured later in life. Despite these challenges, Sara has developed an incredible resource to help others who are grieving similar losses. My Grief Connection has played a significant role in her healing and the healing of others also facing multiple losses.   Key Takeaways: Impact on Family Life: The loss of her brother deeply affected not only Sara but also her older sibling. She shares how grief influenced their family dynamic as they grew up and navigated life without their brother. Career Choices and Personal Struggles: Sara reveals how the grief she experienced informed her career path. Additionally, she opens up about the second devastating loss she faced later in her life and how it further shaped her understanding of grief. Developing a Resource for Grievers: One of the most impactful aspects of Sara’s journey is her creation of a resource designed to help others who are grieving similar losses. Mygriefconnection.org has become a valuable tool for many, contributing significantly to their healing process, particularly for those grieving multiple losses.

In today’s podcast I interview Susan Auerbach who shares the struggles her son Noah encountered before his suicide in 2013. Susan discusses the impact of Noah’s death on the different relationships in her life and how she coped with traumatic grief early after his death. Susan also reflects on the 11 years since his death and describes the different milestones that have occurred in her grieving process, and how her grief and her identity in grief has evolved over time. Key Points: If you are living with a loss like Susan’s you know time does not heal traumatic grief. But, as she described, time did provide clairity, perspective, and continues to move her towards healing.  Susan worked hard to process her grief experiences. Her grief work included EMDR, writing, support groups, and learning what worked for her and what did not. Although every grief experience is unique, I have interviewed many individuals living with long term traumatic grief, who are also able to attest to the continued evolution of their grief and how they have also experienced decreases in the intensity symptoms over time. If you would like to reach out to Susan, please join our Facebook group Talking About the Podcast Untethered with Dr. Levin. We have included an article about EMDR which stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Therapy. There is also a link to Susan’s book, I Will Write Your Name on Every Beach: A Mother’s Quest for Comfort, Courage, and Clarity After Suicide Loss, and a link to her blog Walking the Mourner’s Path After a Child’s Suicide.

In today’s podcast I interview Prudence Fenton, who experienced the unexpected death of her partner on Christmas Eve just prior to the beginning of COVID. Like most people who experience a sudden death, Prudence’s loss was a deeply personal, intimate and painful experience. Prudence’s loss was also a very public experience because her partner, Allee Willis, was a well known songwriter and artist. Together we explore Prudence’s grief experiences, her coping mechanisms and how grief has changed her. We talk about how she felt to have the public grieve her partner, what it was like to create her legacy, and where Prudence is in her life right now, four years later. Key Points: Prudence discusses how she relied on her creativity, taking a grief timeout when necessary, connecting with Allee, and receiving support from friends or trusted members of her team to get her through the difficult times. Prudence describes where she is today with a group of new friends and the ability to experience happiness in her life. As she says, “the new Prudence just moves on”, but she always carries Allee with her. Prudence continues to learn and sees life as a constant form of education. If you are interested in learning more about Prudence and Allee’s documentary, The World According to Allee Willis or the foundation Willis Wonderland please join our Facebook group, Talking about the podcast Unteathered with Dr. Levin.

In today’s podcast I interview Leslee Koritzke, who has been my best friend for over 15 years. Leslee shares with us what happened when her husband suddenly died over 14 years ago after playing basketball. We talk about what it was like for her to raise two young children and how she coped with the unexpected legal and financial stressors after his death. She also describes how her involvement in widow groups, fitness, and pottery helped her develop a long-term relationship with grief. Leslee reflects on what it has been like to watch her children grow, achieve important milestones without their father, and whether she thought her life would take it’s current shape. It was a unique experience to interview Leslee, and I have been blessed to be part of her story long before Bob’s death. Key Points: Leslee discusses how she used her sense of humor to help get her through the hard times, while remaining true and authenic to feeling her emotions. Like many who become single parents overnight, Leslee’s first priority was the needs of her children even though she had the additional stessors of unexpected circumstances that sometimes do not arise until after a loved has died. Leslee prioritized the health and well-being of her kids and was committed to keeping family traditions and Bob’s memory alive. Her creativity, love for adventure, and continued love for her husband has been a continued theme throughout her life and contributed to her ability to move towards healing. If you would like to reach out to Leslee, or if you are interested in learning more about her, please join our Facebook group - Talking about the podcast Untethered with Dr. Levin.

In today’s podcast I talk with Dan Baker, whose wife suddenly died on the day he retired from his career in law enforcement. As with all of my podcast participants, Dan’s experiences were powerful and unique. Having an extensive background in law enforcement, Dan provides us with valuable insight about what happens during the investigative process. He also invites us into to the difficult thoughts and emotions that he struggled with and continues to revisit three years after his wife’s death. I am so grateful he shared his perspective on the ins and outs of spousal grief support groups and the lasting relationships that can develop. The love Dan continues to have for his wife Cathy remains present and palpable. Key Points: During our interview we explore Dan’s struggle to cope with two major life stressors; the death of a spouse and retirement at the same time, and the impact it had on his identity. We examine what it was like for Dan to live with the unanswered questions and uncertainty after his wife died. Dan shares the experiences he had participating in a spousal grief group to help him cope and process his wife’s death and how he developed strong bonds and intimate friendships with a subgroup of members that he now considers to be part of his family. If you would like to reach out to Dan, please join our Facebook group – Talking About the Podcast Untethered with Dr. Levin.

In the previous podcast of Untethered, I interviewed Tami Millard, whose husband died suddenly riding his mountain bike the day before their daughter’s 16th birthday. In today’s podcast, I talk with Tami’s daughter, Anya, now 19, about to be 20, almost four years since the day her father died. Anya’s interview not only provides another perspective about what happened after her father’s death, but it’s also insight into the adolescent grief experience after the sudden death of a parent. Together we explore her perception of how grief impacted her mom and how their relationship has evolved through grief and time. Anya shares her thoughts about what she describes as “not being able to have an adult relationship with her dad” and the importance of grace and time in the healing process from traumatic grief.   Key points: The death of a parent forces adolescents to confront some of the harsh realities and challenges that come with being an adult at an early age. Anya acknowledges her awareness of the gaps that existed after her dad’s death and the way her mom “stepped up and stepped in”, in a manner that her peers who had also lost a parent had not. She shares her mom’s efforts to take on specific roles and responsibilities that belonged to her dad, while at the same time managing her grief, financial stressors, working, and parenting, all of which occurred during COVID. Anya talks about the feelings she had about performing or acting a certain way to make the grief experience true. In both Tami’s and Anya’s interviews, they share how quickly Kyron’s existence vanished after his death, how difficult it was to feel his presence at home, and how it felt to watch one another in pain and grief after Kyron’s death. Anya provides valuable insight about how adolescents grieve and how different and often misunderstood their grief can be from the adults around them. She discusses some of the differences she noticed in how adolescents grieve and the expectations she encountered from well-meaning adults around her regarding how she grieved or expressed her emotions at times when she was trying to achieve a sense of normalcy or distance from her grief. It was refreshing to hear her express thoughts such as “can you accept that I am fine and let’s move on?” On the flip side, Anya realized that although these expectations were annoying or that she often felt misunderstood, there are some adolescents without anyone invested in their emotional well-being after the death of a parent. Perhaps the biggest difference in grief between Tami and Anya is the relationship they were grieving. Tami was his wife; his life partner and they had planned to grow old together as a couple. Anya was his daughter, and early in her life, like all children, she was completely dependent on her parents to anticipate and meet her needs while growing up. As she grew from a child to a teenager, her relationship with her mom and dad changed as her identity, beliefs, life-experiences, friends, interests, and dreams were maturing as well. For many, there comes a time in the parent-child relationship when a shift occurs, and the relationship dynamics change. Anya realized that she was not only grieving the death of her father as a person, but she was also grieving a future loss, the loss of having an adult relationship with her father. Please join our Facebook group “Talking about the Podcast Untethered with Dr. Levin.” If you would like to leave a message for Anya, we will make sure that she gets it. There is also family pictures of Tami, Anya and Kyron.