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In this powerful episode of the Birth Trauma Mama Podcast, Kayleigh sits down with Amber, a midwife and mother of three, to share her story of a life-threatening pregnancy and birth experience with her twins in July 2019. What began as a relatively uneventful twin pregnancy quickly turned into a medical emergency involving acute fatty liver of pregnancy (AFLP), disseminated intravascular coagulation (DIC), and a prolonged ICU stay. Amber shares the terrifying physical and psychological realities of her experience, including ICU delirium, hallucinations, and the lasting impact of feeling betrayed by the people she believed were trying to hurt her. She also opens up about her husband's trauma, the complicated emotions of meeting her babies after being separated from them, and the long road of processing what happened. This conversation highlights the importance of recognizing subtle warning signs, advocating for critically ill obstetric patients, and making space for the emotional aftermath of birth trauma, even years later. In this episode, we discuss: 🤰 Amber’s twin pregnancy: Discovering she was expecting twins as a midwife and navigating the fears and risks she anticipated throughout pregnancy.🚩 The warning signs: How extreme exhaustion, difficulty concentrating, changes in behavior, and trouble communicating were initially attributed to normal pregnancy symptoms.🩺 Acute fatty liver of pregnancy (AFLP): Understanding this rare, serious pregnancy complication and how it affected Amber’s liver, kidneys, and overall health.🩸 Postpartum hemorrhage and DIC: What happened after Amber’s C-section, how severe bleeding and clotting complications developed, and why DIC is so dangerous.🏥 A critical ICU experience: The challenges of coordinating obstetric and critical care, the importance of recognizing obstetric emergencies, and how advocacy from her husband and trusted physicians helped save her life.🧠 ICU delirium and hallucinations: Amber’s vivid, terrifying experiences while intubated and sedated—and why these experiences can feel completely real and contribute to trauma.💔 The impact on relationships: How ICU delirium affected Amber’s trust in her husband, despite his tireless efforts to advocate for her and get her the care she needed.👶 Reuniting with her twins: The emotional complexity of meeting her babies after being separated from them, and the significance of having them brought to her in the ICU.🫂 The postpartum recovery nobody talks about: Struggling with memory, independence, parenting, returning home, and wondering whether her brain would ever feel like itself again.💬 Healing through storytelling: Why talking about her experience, revisiting memories, and continuing to process the trauma have been important parts of Amber’s healing.❤️ Lessons for providers and families: The importance of listening to loved ones when they recognize changes in a patient's behavior and advocating when something doesn't feel right.Content note: This episode includes discussion of life-threatening pregnancy complications, severe hemorrhage, the possibility of death, ICU delirium and hallucinations, and traumatic medical experiences. Thank you to Amber for sharing her story with such honesty, humor, and vulnerability. Her experience is a powerful reminder of the importance of listening, advocacy, and compassionate care for birthing people and their families. 💛 You can follow Amber on Instagram and TikTok: @aflp_midwife Please note: This episode shares Amber’s personal experience and is intended for educational and informational purposes. It is not a substitute for individualized medical advice. For more birth trauma content and a community full of love and support, head to my Instagram at @thebirthtrauma_mama. Learn more about the support and services I offer through The Birth Trauma Mama Therapy & Support Services. Disclaimer - The views and opinions expressed by guests on The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the official stance, views, or positions of The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast. The content shared is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as professional or medical advice and/or endorsement.

If you’re rocking your baby in the middle of the night, replaying your birth experience for what feels like the hundred-thousandth time, this special mini episode of The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast is for you. ❤️‍🩹 In this deeply personal and grounding episode, Kayleigh speaks to the version of herself who once sat in the nursery at 2 AM, overwhelmed by memories, grief, and the fear that she had somehow gotten everything wrong. She offers the words she wishes she could have heard in those moments to anyone navigating the complicated emotions that can follow a traumatic birth. This episode isn’t about fixing your feelings, finding the perfect coping strategy, or figuring everything out tonight. It’s about making the darkness feel a little less lonely, giving yourself permission to feel whatever comes up, and remembering that you don’t have to solve your birth story in the middle of the night. You deserve compassion, care, and support, exactly as you are. And this pain will not last forever. 🤍 ✨ In this special mini episode, we explore: 🌙 Why the quiet of the night can make birth trauma memories and intrusive thoughts feel especially overwhelming.❤️‍🩹 Why your birth experience matters, regardless of how others perceive it or whether you and your baby are physically healthy.🫶 Giving yourself permission to feel grief, anger, fear, gratitude, and love all at the same time.🌿 Gentle grounding reminders for when memories of your birth feel overwhelming.💗 Why struggling with bonding or experiencing complicated feelings toward your birth story does not make you a bad parent.🧡 Releasing the pressure to find answers, make sense of everything, or figure out how to heal right now.🤝 Remembering that you are part of a community of birth trauma survivors who understand, and that you do not have to carry this alone.🕊️ Making space for rest, even when sleep feels impossible, and holding on to the hope that things can feel different with time and support.💌 A reminder to take with you: This was not your fault. You are not failing. You are not alone. You don’t have to feel a certain way, and you don’t have to figure everything out tonight. You deserve care and compassion, and you are doing an incredible job. If you’re listening at 2 AM, 3 AM, or any hour when the rest of the world seems to be asleep, let this episode be a gentle reminder that you are not alone in the darkness. Come back to it as many times as you need. We’re here with you. 🤍 For more birth trauma content and a community full of love and support, head to my Instagram at @thebirthtrauma_mama. Learn more about the support and services I offer through The Birth Trauma Mama Therapy & Support Services. Disclaimer - The views and opinions expressed by guests on The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the official stance, views, or positions of The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast. The content shared is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as professional or medical advice and/or endorsement.

In Honor of National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, we are re-releasing one of our favorite episodes with The Adalyn Rose Foundation.  The Adalyn Rose Foundation was created in 2019 on what would have been Chloe and Adam Ciferri's daughter's second birthday. Chloe was having a seemingly normal pregnancy with her daughter Adayln, until about 20 weeks. Chloe and her husband were moving into a new home when Chloe's health began to decline.  Chloe was admitted to the hospital and when she asked to hear Adalyn's heartbeat, there wasn't one.    The Adalyn Rose Foundation serves families grieving the loss of a baby through miscarriage, stillbirth, or during infancy. They walk families through every step of life after baby loss, from the first moments and all those that follow. Adalyn Rose Foundation is going NATIONWIDE in 2024!! You can learn more about the Adalyn Rose Foundation and the events, fundraising and resources they provide by visiting their website: https://adalynrose.org/ You can find the Adalyn Rose Foundation on Instagram: @adalynrosefoundation Guest Bio: Chloe Ciferri created the Adalyn Rose Foundation with her husband in honor of their daughter, Adalyn, who they lost unexpectedly during pregnancy. She strives to create a community of support for families who have experienced the devastation of baby loss. Chloe was a Special Education teacher for many years, until resigning to work at the foundation and stay home with Addie’s brothers and sister. She earned her Bachelor’s degree in Special and Elementary Education, and her Master’s degree in Educational Leadership. She most recently received her certificate in Non-Profit Leadership from Lasalle University. Aside from the work she does to support baby loss families, she is also passionate about Foster Care. Chloe enjoys spending time with family and going on family adventures with Adam, TJ, Enzo and Elle. For more birth trauma content and a community full of love and support, head to my Instagram at @thebirthtrauma_mama. Learn more about the support and services I offer through The Birth Trauma Mama Therapy & Support Services. For more birth trauma content and a community full of love and support, head to my Instagram at @thebirthtrauma_mama. Learn more about the support and services I offer through The Birth Trauma Mama Therapy & Support Services. Disclaimer - The views and opinions expressed by guests on The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the official stance, views, or positions of The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast. The content shared is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as professional or medical advice and/or endorsement.

In this Mini Series episode, I dive into a nuanced conversation around gratitude practices for perinatal trauma survivors. While gratitude can be a powerful tool for healing, it often becomes complicated when paired with the experiences of trauma, grief, and loss. Whether you’ve felt pressure to “just be grateful” or are searching for ways to reconnect with yourself and your story, this episode offers validation and actionable insight. 🔑 What You’ll Hear in This Episode: The challenges of embracing gratitude after birth traumaWhy traditional gratitude practices can feel dismissive for survivorsHow to reframe gratitude to honor your trauma and truthMaking space for both/and: joy, pain, grief, and healingGiving yourself permission to feel your full experience📲 Connect & Learn More: Follow Kayleigh on Instagram: @thebirthtraumamamaJoin the community at thebirthtraumamama.comExplore resources for birth trauma survivors and trauma-informed careIf this episode resonates with you, share it with a friend or leave a review to help others find this supportive space. 💜 Pugach CP, May CL, Wisco BE. Positive emotion in posttraumatic stress disorder: A global or context-specific problem? J Trauma Stress. 2023 Apr;36(2):444-456. doi: 10.1002/jts.22928. Epub 2023 Mar 29. PMID: 36987701; PMCID: PMC10101918. Korem N, Duek O, Ben-Zion Z, Kaczkurkin AN, Lissek S, Orederu T, Schiller D, Harpaz-Rotem I, Levy I. Emotional numbing in PTSD is associated with lower amygdala reactivity to pain. Neuropsychopharmacology. 2022 Oct;47(11):1913-1921. doi: 10.1038/s41386-022-01405-2. Epub 2022 Aug 9. PMID: 35945274; PMCID: PMC9485255. Litz BT, Litz BT, Gray MJ. Emotional Numbing in Posttraumatic Stress Disorder: Current and Future Research Directions. Australian & New Zealand Journal of Psychiatry. 2002;36(2):198-204. doi:10.1046/j.1440-1614.2002.01002.x For more birth trauma content and a community full of love and support, head to my Instagram at @thebirthtrauma_mama. Learn more about the support and services I offer through The Birth Trauma Mama Therapy & Support Services. Disclaimer - The views and opinions expressed by guests on The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the official stance, views, or positions of The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast. The content shared is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as professional or medical advice and/or endorsement.

In this listener series episode of the Birth Trauma Mama Podcast, Kayleigh sits down with Lauren to hear the story of her traumatic pregnancy, unexpected diagnosis of placenta accreta, life-threatening hemorrhage, emergency hysterectomy, and the premature birth of her daughter at just 23 weeks and 6 days. Lauren shares what it was like to know throughout her pregnancy that her life was at risk, the anticipatory grief she experienced, and the long road of processing what happened after surviving such a traumatic birth. Lauren also opens up about infertility after hysterectomy, IVF, adoption, and ultimately growing her family through a gestational carrier. She shares the complicated emotions that came with surrogacy after birth trauma, including grief, gratitude, anxiety, loss of control, and the powerful experience of being present for her daughter's birth. Her story is a beautiful reminder that healing isn't linear, that grief and gratitude can coexist, and that there is no "right" way to feel after birth trauma. ✨ In this episode, we talk about: 🩸 Lauren's diagnosis of placenta accreta during her second pregnancy🏥 Being told at just under 13 weeks that continuing the pregnancy could put her life at risk🤰 Relocating closer to a specialist and living on bed rest while hoping to reach viability💔 The anticipatory grief of knowing she could lose her life and her fertility🚨 Experiencing an internal hemorrhage and uterine rupture at 23 weeks and 6 days🏥 An emergency hysterectomy and the fight to save both Lauren and her daughter👶 Her daughter's extreme prematurity, 145-day NICU stay, and resulting cerebral palsy🧠 Processing guilt surrounding her daughter's disability and learning to recognize that she did not cause what happened💭 The importance of accepting that life after trauma may look different rather than trying to become the person you were before🌱 Navigating triggers, pregnancy announcements, baby showers, and the ongoing nature of grief🧬 Exploring IVF and adoption after losing the ability to carry another pregnancy🤍 Finding a gestational carrier and the complicated emotions surrounding surrogacy after birth trauma🎢 Learning to navigate anxiety and the loss of control during someone else's pregnancy👩‍🍼 Being present for her daughter's birth and experiencing an unexpectedly powerful and cathartic moment💕 The reality that bonding doesn't always happen instantly even when the love is immediate🌈 Holding grief and gratitude at the same time🫶 Learning that healing is not linear and there is no timeline for grief✨ Finding radical acceptance and recognizing that the person you become after trauma is allowed to be differentLauren's story is a powerful reminder that surviving doesn't mean the experience stops affecting you and that you can be deeply grateful for where you are while still grieving what you lost. For more birth trauma content and a community full of love and support, head to my Instagram at @thebirthtrauma_mama. Learn more about the support and services I offer through The Birth Trauma Mama Therapy & Support Services. Disclaimer - The views and opinions expressed by guests on The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the official stance, views, or positions of The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast. The content shared is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as professional or medical advice and/or endorsement.

What if part of you is actually afraid to heal? We talk about healing from birth trauma as though the goal is to eventually feel completely okay with what happened. But what if healing doesn’t mean that at all? In this solo episode of the Birth Trauma Mama Podcast, Kayleigh explores the complicated relationship many birth trauma survivors have with healing, including the fear that if the pain gets quieter, the experience will somehow matter less. Because what happens when you stop thinking about your birth every day? When you can tell the story without falling apart? When the anger isn't as intense? When you don't feel the same need to explain what happened to everyone around you? And it certainly doesn't mean that what happened to you was okay. In this episode, Kayleigh talks about: Why healing can actually feel scary for trauma survivorsThe fear that if you stop hurting, your experience will stop matteringWhy pain can become a form of evidence after you've been dismissed or minimizedThe difference between remembering your trauma and reliving itWhy you don't have to keep telling your birth story to prove that it happenedWhy you can heal without forgiving the people who hurt youThe pressure to find a “silver lining” in traumatic experiencesWhy healing doesn't mean returning to who you were before your traumaWhat it means to hold complicated truths at the same timeWhy healing may be less about eliminating the impact of trauma and more about reclaiming choiceWhat it can look like to build a life that is bigger than what happened to youYou can be grateful for your baby and devastated by your birth. You can be thankful for the people who saved your life and angry about what happened. You can love motherhood and hate your birth story. You can be okay today and still know that what happened to you was not okay. You don't have to stay in pain to prove that what happened to you mattered. For more birth trauma content and a community full of love and support, head to my Instagram at @thebirthtrauma_mama. Learn more about the support and services I offer through The Birth Trauma Mama Therapy & Support Services. Disclaimer - The views and opinions expressed by guests on The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the official stance, views, or positions of The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast. The content shared is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as professional or medical advice and/or endorsement.

In this episode of the Birth Trauma Mama Podcast, Kayleigh sits down with Brittany to hear about two birth experiences that left a lasting impact on her. Brittany shares her experience with an initial molar pregnancy diagnosis that was later determined to be a healthy pregnancy, followed by a difficult first birth involving a third-degree tear and feelings of invalidation. Years later, Brittany became pregnant again and hoped for a planned C-section because of her previous experience. Instead, she planned for a vaginal birth—and ultimately experienced a true emergency when her baby’s heart rate began to decelerate and an umbilical cord issue was discovered. She was rushed to the operating room and delivered her son under general anesthesia. Brittany opens up about the anger, fear, postpartum disconnect, and delayed bonding that followed, as well as the therapy and time that helped her heal. Her story is also a powerful reminder that missing immediate skin-to-skin or the “golden hour” does not mean you won’t bond with your baby. ✨ In this episode, we talk about: 💔 Experiencing a pregnancy initially diagnosed as a molar pregnancy and the emotional impact of that uncertainty🩹 A first birth involving a third-degree tear and the experience of having her trauma minimized🗣️ How filing a formal complaint and receiving responses from her doctors helped Brittany find validation and closure🤰 Wanting a planned C-section after a difficult previous birth—and navigating a provider who did not agree⏰ How changes to her induction plan affected her sense of safety and control🚨 Experiencing an unexpected emergency when her baby's heart rate began showing concerning changes🏥 Being rushed into an emergency C-section and undergoing general anesthesia💭 The emotional disconnect that can happen when you aren't awake for your baby's birth🤱 Struggling with breastfeeding and holding her baby immediately after birth❤️ How one supportive nurse helped Brittany begin connecting with her baby🌱 Processing birth trauma through therapy, time, and hearing other people's stories✨ Reframing the fear that missing the “golden hour” means you won't bond with your baby💕 Finding reassurance that bonding can happen over time and that a difficult birth does not determine your relationship with your child🌸 Brittany's message to other birth trauma survivors: You're going to be okay. You're going to make it through this.For more birth trauma content and a community full of love and support, head to my Instagram at @thebirthtrauma_mama. Learn more about the support and services I offer through The Birth Trauma Mama Therapy & Support Services. Disclaimer - The views and opinions expressed by guests on The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the official stance, views, or positions of The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast. The content shared is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as professional or medical advice and/or endorsement.

A special re-release: In this episode of The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast, Kayleigh opens a gentle and honest conversation about the journey of considering pregnancy after birth trauma and introduces her new workshop, created specifically for this season. The Pregnancy After Birth Trauma Workshop was designed as a supportive, trauma-informed space for anyone exploring a subsequent pregnancy after a difficult or traumatic birth. It offers guidance, reflection prompts, and tools to help you move through this process with clarity and a sense of agency. Whether you're actively trying, quietly wondering if you're ready, or still holding the question gently from a distance, this workshop honors the complexity of your experience and walks alongside you with care and grounding. In today’s episode, Kayleigh speaks to the emotional landscape that so many survivors navigate when thinking about growing their family again. Rather than rushing answers, she reflects on the fears, hopes, and complicated "maybes" that live in this space, and why this decision deserves slowness, compassion, and support. She explores: 💜 Why mixed emotions about another pregnancy are a completely normal trauma response  🫶 The grief, pressure, and self-doubt that can surface during this decision-making process  🤍 What it means to rebuild trust in your body and the systems that care for you  🧭 How to approach this season at your pace, without urgency or expectation 🌱 A grounding mindset shift to help you feel more supported and less alone This episode is an invitation to breathe, soften around uncertainty, and remember that you don’t have to figure everything out all at once. Considering another pregnancy after trauma isn’t a test of readiness, strength, or certainty. It’s a deeply human process that unfolds in layers. And you deserve a safe place to land inside it. Workshop & Resources ✨ Pregnancy After Birth Trauma Workshop: Get it Here 🌐 Learn more at HoldingHopePerinatal.com 💜 Connect with Kayleigh: @thebirthtrauma_mama For more birth trauma content and a community full of love and support, head to my Instagram at @thebirthtrauma_mama. Learn more about the support and services I offer through The Birth Trauma Mama Therapy & Support Services. Disclaimer - The views and opinions expressed by guests on The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the official stance, views, or positions of The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast. The content shared is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as professional or medical advice and/or endorsement.

In this listener series episode of the Birth Trauma Mama Podcast, Kayleigh sits down with Melissa to hear her story of pregnancy, unexpected complications, premature birth, and an almost six-month NICU stay. Melissa shares how her experience at 25–27 weeks pregnant turned her birth plans upside down and how her son’s congenital heart defect and battle with NEC added layers of fear and uncertainty to an already traumatic experience. But Melissa’s story doesn’t end in the NICU. Six years later, she reflects on the many pieces that have supported her healing: therapy, medication, movement, relationships, community, and ultimately finding meaning in what she experienced. Today, Melissa works as a NICU family support specialist, offering support to families walking through some of the same uncertainty she once experienced herself. This conversation is a beautiful reminder that healing doesn’t erase the pain or grief of what happened. Sometimes, it means learning how to hold the pain and the beauty at the same time. In this episode, we talk about: 💔 Experiencing pregnancy complications and an unexpected hospital admission at 25 weeks🏥 Spending nearly three weeks on antepartum while trying to keep baby inside as long as possible🫀 Finding out her baby had a congenital heart defect and facing uncertainty around his diagnosis🌊 Grieving the birth experience she had envisioned and learning to pivot when circumstances changed🧠 Letting go of the idea that she had somehow caused or manifested her pregnancy complications👶 Giving birth to her son prematurely at 27 weeks and navigating the immediate NICU experience🚨 Her son’s congenital heart defects, surgery, and diagnosis of necrotizing enterocolitis (NEC)🏥 Spending almost six months in the NICU🤍 The complicated emotions of loving your baby while also being surrounded by medical equipment, alarms, and uncertainty🫂 Finding community through other parents and podcasts when she felt isolated during the pandemic🧠 Seeking professional support through therapy and medication💍 How trauma and parenthood changed her marriage, identity, and life🌱 Learning that healing can be made up of many different pieces rather than one single thing✨ Finding meaning in her experience six years later🏥 Melissa’s full-circle journey of now working as a NICU family support specialist🌈 Finding beauty alongside grief and pain without minimizing what happened💛 A reminder that there is no timeline for when someone should be able to find hope or meaning in their birth traumaMelissa’s story is a powerful reminder that you can grieve what happened while also creating a meaningful life beyond it. Healing doesn’t have to mean forgetting, minimizing, or finding a silver lining. Sometimes it simply means becoming curious about who you are now and finding the support you need along the way. For more birth trauma content and a community full of love and support, head to my Instagram at @thebirthtrauma_mama. Learn more about the support and services I offer through The Birth Trauma Mama Therapy & Support Services. Disclaimer - The views and opinions expressed by guests on The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the official stance, views, or positions of The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast. The content shared is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as professional or medical advice and/or endorsement.

In this episode of the Birth Trauma Mama Podcast, Kayleigh sits down with Lo Mansfield, MSN, RNC-OB, CLC, an OB nurse, educator, mom of four, and creator of The Labor Mama. Lo shares her journey into nursing, what she calls the “art of nursing,” and how her experiences both as a nurse and as a mother have shaped the way she thinks about birth. Kayleigh and Lo dive into the importance of nuance, autonomy, and hope in birth education, especially for people planning a hospital birth after a previous traumatic experience. They talk about the ways that interventions can become unnecessarily stigmatized, why informed consent means having choices in both directions, and how education can prepare you for what happens in a hospital without labeling every intervention as inherently good or bad. They also discuss the power of staying curious, asking questions, understanding the physiological process of labor, and remembering that what happened in a previous birth does not necessarily determine what will happen next time. In this episode: 🌿 Lo's journey into nursing — How her mother's experience with cancer opened her eyes to the profound impact healthcare providers can have on patients and families. 🩺 The “art of nursing” — Why the human-to-human connection between a healthcare provider and patient can be just as important as the clinical care itself. 💞 Where magic and trauma can happen — How the way a provider responds to a difficult or imperfect clinical situation can dramatically shape a patient's experience. 👩‍⚕️ Do you have to be a mom to be a great OB nurse? — Lo and Kayleigh discuss the assumption that healthcare providers need to have experienced something personally in order to understand or care for their patients well. 🏥 Can you have a positive hospital birth? — A nuanced conversation about hospital birth, home birth, birth centers, and the importance of respecting different people's choices about where they feel safest. ⚖️ Autonomy in both directions — Why true autonomy means supporting someone's choice to decline an intervention and someone's choice to have one. 💉 Reframing interventions as tools — Inductions, epidurals, cervical exams, and other interventions don't have to be categorized as inherently “good” or “bad.” Understanding the options allows people to make decisions that fit their circumstances. 📚 The importance of birth education — Lo explains why understanding what typically happens when you arrive at a hospital can help you feel more prepared and less overwhelmed. 🌈 Centering hope after birth trauma — Why a previous traumatic birth doesn't mean your next birth will unfold the same way, and why distinguishing between what is possible and what is probable can be so important. 🤝 The value of a doula — How an additional support person can provide advocacy and continuity, particularly for someone entering birth with a history of trauma. ❓ Stay curious — Ask questions, seek clarification, and understand what is happening rather than allowing your brain to fill in the gaps with fear. 🧠 Trauma-informed preparation — Kayleigh and Lo discuss the role that therapy and trauma-specific support can play when preparing for a subsequent birth. ✨ Look for what's going right, too — In the middle of worrying about what could go wrong, don't lose sight of the signs that labor is progressing and things are going well. Connect with Lo Lo Mansfield is an OB nurse, childbirth educator, lactation counselor, mom of four, and the creator of The Labor Mama, where she shares evidence-informed education about pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. 🔗 The Labor Mama: Connect with Lo and explore her birth education resources through her online platform. For more birth trauma content and a community full of love and support, head to my Instagram at @thebirthtrauma_mama. Learn more about the support and services I offer through The Birth Trauma Mama Therapy & Support Services. Disclaimer - The views and opinions expressed by guests on The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the official stance, views, or positions of The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast. The content shared is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as professional or medical advice and/or endorsement.

On today’s listener series episode of the Birth Trauma Mama Podcast, Kayleigh welcomes Shelby  to share the story of her traumatic birth experience and the unexpected complications that changed her life forever. What began as a planned C-section due to placenta previa and cholestasis quickly became a life-threatening emergency involving severe hemorrhaging, multiple interventions, blood transfusions, and ultimately an emergency hysterectomy. Shelby later learned that placenta accreta was the underlying cause of her hemorrhage. Shelby opens up about the physical and emotional aftermath of her birth trauma, including the numbness and shock she experienced, the grief of losing her ability to have more children, the pressure she felt around breastfeeding, and the importance of getting support. She also shares how medication, her husband and family, and hearing other birth trauma stories helped her heal. Most importantly, Shelby reminds us that birth trauma doesn't simply disappear because a healthy baby came home—and that partners can experience trauma, too. In this episode, Shelby and Kayleigh talk about: 🩸 A life-threatening postpartum hemorrhage — Shelby describes losing nearly five liters of blood and requiring multiple blood transfusions and emergency interventions. 🏥 The rapid escalation of her birth experience — From a planned C-section to a room full of doctors, a Bakri balloon, Jada, uterine embolization, and ultimately an emergency hysterectomy. 💔 The emotional impact of an emergency hysterectomy — Shelby talks about the complicated grief of knowing she would not be able to have another child and how difficult it was to process that reality while also caring for her newborn. 🧠 The numbness that can follow birth trauma — Shelby shares how she initially struggled to understand the severity of what had happened to her and how the reality of her trauma slowly began to sink in after she returned home. 🍼 Breastfeeding, formula, and postpartum pressure — Shelby opens up about feeling pressure to pump and breastfeed despite her body recovering from massive blood loss and multiple surgeries, and how she ultimately gave herself permission to prioritize her own healing. 💊 Finding support through medication — Shelby shares why antidepressant medication became an important part of her recovery and why she believes there should be less stigma around getting the help you need. 🤍 The importance of community and hearing other stories — Listening to other birth trauma survivors helped Shelby realize she wasn't alone, and eventually inspired her to share her own story. 👨‍👩‍👦 Supporting partners after traumatic births — Shelby emphasizes that partners can also experience significant trauma while watching someone they love fight for their life, and encourages people to check in on them, too. 🌱 Healing while carrying grief — Even years later, moments involving other babies and the thought of her son not having a sibling can bring up difficult emotions. Shelby talks about learning to hold both the grief and gratitude at the same time. ✨ Finding light after trauma — Shelby reflects on how her experience has changed her as a mother, making her more present and patient, while acknowledging that healing doesn't mean forgetting or erasing the pain. This episode is a powerful reminder that a healthy baby does not erase a traumatic birth. You can be deeply grateful for your child while still grieving what happened to you—and both things can be true at the same time. For more birth trauma content and a community full of love and support, head to my Instagram at @thebirthtrauma_mama. Learn more about the support and services I offer through The Birth Trauma Mama Therapy & Support Services. Disclaimer - The views and opinions expressed by guests on The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the official stance, views, or positions of The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast. The content shared is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as professional or medical advice and/or endorsement.

In this episode of the Birth Trauma Mama Podcast, Kayleigh sits down with Alexsis Gilles, founder of The Postcare, to talk about her experience of birth trauma and the journey that followed. Alexsis shares the story of her daughter Ella’s birth, including a difficult induction, 11 attempts at an epidural, an emergency C-section, a severe hemorrhage, and being separated from her daughter while she received care in the NICU. What became especially difficult was what happened after the emergency was over. Alexsis describes feeling like her traumatic experience was never acknowledged during postpartum care, leaving her to search for answers and support on her own. That experience ultimately became the catalyst for The Postcare, a nonprofit focused on helping people who have experienced traumatic births find community, resources, and meaningful support beyond the traditional postpartum check-in. In this conversation, Alexsis and Kayleigh talk about: 🩷 Alexsis’s traumatic birth experience and emergency C-section🩸 The hemorrhage and terrifying moments she experienced in the operating room👶 Being separated from her daughter for more than 24 hours after birth💔 The grief that can come when the postpartum experience doesn't look anything like you imagined🧠 How birth trauma can intersect with previous childhood and complex trauma🌱 Alexsis’s experience with EMDR and processing the connections between past and present trauma😡 Postpartum rage, health anxiety, OCD, and the emotions that can emerge after a traumatic birth🤝 Why community and a supportive “village” can be such an important part of healing🏥 The gaps Alexsis sees in the healthcare system when it comes to supporting people after traumatic births🍲 The many forms postpartum support can take — from therapy and resources to meals, community, and simply showing up💻 How The Postcare was created to help people find resources without having to desperately Google for help in the middle of the night📣 Alexsis’s hopes for growing The Postcare, partnering with hospitals, increasing access to resources, and advocating for policy change✨ The reminder that you don't have to turn your trauma into something meaningful — surviving it is enough🌻 And, for those who do feel called to create something from their experience, Alexsis shares what it can look like to turn that passion into advocacy and community supportYou can connect with Alexsis and learn more about the work she's building through The Postcare: 🌐 The Postcare: postcare.org📸 Instagram: @thepostcare — Alexsis shares resources, community information, and updates through Instagram. The episode identifies the handle as “the postcare” with an underscore; the website is the most reliable link provided in the episode. 🎵 TikTok: Search The Postcare on TikTok to find Alexsis and her content. This episode is such an important reminder that what happens after a traumatic birth matters, too — and that no one should have to navigate that aftermath alone. For more birth trauma content and a community full of love and support, head to my Instagram at @thebirthtrauma_mama. Learn more about the support and services I offer through The Birth Trauma Mama Therapy & Support Services. Disclaimer - The views and opinions expressed by guests on The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the official stance, views, or positions of The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast. The content shared is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as professional or medical advice and/or endorsement.

In this episode of the Birth Trauma Mama Podcast, Kayleigh sits down with Liz Gray, a fellow perinatal therapist, to hear her deeply personal story of infertility, birth, sexual trauma, and obstetric violence. Liz shares how her history of sexual trauma shaped her experience with fertility treatment and birth, and how moments of dismissal, lack of empathy, and feeling unseen ultimately contributed to her trauma. Liz’s story is also one of advocacy and turning pain into purpose. After struggling to find trauma-informed support during infertility and birth, she helped create the Trauma-Informed Maternal Health Directory, a nationwide resource designed to connect women and birthing people with providers who understand trauma-informed care. This powerful conversation is a reminder that birth trauma isn’t always about what happens medically, it can also come from what is missing: empathy, autonomy, communication, and being treated like a human being. ✨ In this episode, Liz shares: 💔 Her experience as a survivor of sexual trauma and how trauma anniversaries can continue to affect life years later🧬 Navigating infertility and fertility treatments as a survivor of sexual trauma🩺 The lack of trauma-informed resources available to people experiencing infertility after sexual trauma🚩 How a dismissive comment from a fertility doctor became a turning point in Liz’s journey🗣️ Why asking providers how they practice trauma-informed care can be so important🌱 Finding a new fertility provider who made Liz feel seen, heard, and respected🤰 Her journey through IVF and pregnancy after infertility🏡 Planning for a birth center birth and how an unexpected hospital transfer changed everything🚑 The emotional impact of an unexpected transfer from a peaceful birth center environment into a busy hospital🧠 How her history of sexual trauma affected her need for autonomy, choice, and control during labor⚠️ Experiencing dismissive and insensitive treatment from hospital staff during labor📝 Why birth plans can be an important tool for communicating a survivor’s needs—and why they only help if providers actually read them💉 Making the decision to get an epidural after 44 hours of unmedicated labor—and why it was important that the decision remained hers🏥 Experiencing a C-section after her baby’s heart rate dropped💭 Discovering the term obstetric violence and having an “aha” moment that helped her understand what she had experienced❤️ Why birth trauma can come not only from what is done to someone, but also from what is missing—empathy, support, communication, and compassionate care🌿 What healing has looked like for Liz, including therapy, medication, writing, and advocacy🌎 The creation of the Trauma Informed Maternal Health Directory, a nationwide resource connecting women and birthing people with trauma-informed providers🔥 Turning pain into purpose and using her experience to advocate for better care for others📍 Find Liz & the Trauma Informed Maternal Health Directory: maternaltraumasupport.com 📱 Instagram: @MaternalTraumaSupport 📱 Liz’s infertility advocacy Instagram: @infertilityadvocacy For more birth trauma content and a community full of love and support, head to my Instagram at @thebirthtrauma_mama. Learn more about the support and services I offer through The Birth Trauma Mama Therapy & Support Services. Disclaimer - The views and opinions expressed by guests on The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the official stance, views, or positions of The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast. The content shared is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as professional or medical advice and/or endorsement.

What does it actually mean to have a positive pregnancy experience, especially when we know that birth and postpartum don't always go according to plan? In this episode, Kayleigh sits down with Nina Spears, birth and postpartum doula, childbirth educator, and author of Positive Pregnancy, to talk about preparing for pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and everything in between. Nina shares her unexpected journey into birth work, explains the difference between a baby planner and a doula, and discusses why preparation isn't about guaranteeing a certain birth outcome, it's about giving you the knowledge, tools, and support to navigate whatever happens. They also explore the invisible load of pregnancy, the importance of preparing partners to share that load, and how Nina's book can support those preparing for a subsequent pregnancy after a traumatic birth. 💛 In this episode, we talk about: 🌱 Nina's unexpected journey from working in sales to becoming a baby planner, birth doula, postpartum doula, and childbirth educator 👶 What a baby planner is and how that role differs from a birth or postpartum doula 🤝 How baby planners can help families navigate everything from choosing classes and providers to preparing relationships, homes, and support systems 📚 Why Nina wrote Positive Pregnancy as an accessible roadmap for pregnancy that families can use week by week 🧠 The invisible load of pregnancy and why partners need to take ownership before the baby arrives ❤️ Why preparing for birth doesn't mean you can prevent complications or guarantee a particular outcome ⛰️ Nina's powerful analogy of birth as climbing a mountain—you can prepare, bring the right gear, and hire a guide, but you can't control the weather ✨ Why there is no single "right" way to give birth and why what feels empowering and supportive will look different for every family 💬 The difference between being informed and trying to control your birth experience 🫶 How preparation can help you understand what's happening, participate in decisions, communicate with your care team, and advocate for yourself 💔 Why a difficult or unexpected birth outcome isn't automatically traumatic—and why how an experience happens and how you feel throughout it matters 🌸 How Nina's book can support people who are considering another pregnancy after a traumatic birth and want to approach their next experience differently 📖 Why Positive Pregnancy isn't about everything going perfectly, but about feeling informed, supported, respected, and heard 🧘‍♀️ Nina's holistic approach to pregnancy preparation, including mindset, movement, nutrition, relationships, emotional processing, and self-care 🏡 Why building your village before you need it can be such an important part of preparing for pregnancy and postpartum 💛 And the two things Nina believes every pregnant person needs most: education and support Check out Nina's book The Baby Chick Guide to Positive Pregnancy. You can find and follow Nina through her website HERE or message with her on her Instagram. For more birth trauma content and a community full of love and support, head to my Instagram at @thebirthtrauma_mama. Learn more about the support and services I offer through The Birth Trauma Mama Therapy & Support Services. Disclaimer - The views and opinions expressed by guests on The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the official stance, views, or positions of The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast. The content shared is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as professional or medical advice and/or endorsement.

In this episode of the Birth Trauma Mama Podcast, Kayleigh welcomes Stacy to share her powerful story of experiencing birth trauma through two very different pregnancies. As a labor and delivery nurse, Stacy entered motherhood with an understanding of the medical side of birth, but that knowledge made it even more difficult to process what happened when both of her births took unexpected and traumatic turns. Her first daughter was born via C-section after developing gestational hypertension, followed by a significant postpartum hemorrhage, severe anemia, fluid overload, and a difficult recovery during the COVID-19 pandemic. When Stacy became pregnant again, she discovered she was expecting twins. At 33 weeks and 5 days, she was diagnosed with preeclampsia with severe features and underwent an urgent C-section. What followed was a life-threatening postpartum hemorrhage, magnesium toxicity, multiple emergency procedures, and a massive transfusion of 16 units of blood and blood products. Stacy shares what it was like to wake up in the ICU, feel disconnected from her newborn daughters, and later realize just how close she had come to dying. In this vulnerable conversation, Stacy also opens up about the emotional aftermath of her births — postpartum anxiety, grief, guilt, losing her sense of identity, the loneliness of recovering during COVID, and the pressure she felt to simply be grateful because everyone had survived. Ultimately, her healing began when she gave herself permission to acknowledge that what happened was traumatic, without comparing her experience to anyone else's. ✨ In this episode, Stacy shares: 🩺 What it was like experiencing birth trauma as both a patient and a labor and delivery nurse 💔 The grief of having the birth experience she envisioned taken away from her 🩸 Her first postpartum hemorrhage, severe anemia, and difficult recovery 👶 Discovering she was unexpectedly pregnant with twins — and the complicated emotions that came with that news ⚠️ Developing preeclampsia with severe features during her twin pregnancy 🚨 Experiencing a life-threatening postpartum hemorrhage and emergency surgery 🏥 Waking up in the surgical ICU and later learning how serious her condition had been 🩸 Receiving 16 units of blood and blood products after losing more than half of her blood volume 👯‍♀️ The surreal experience of meeting her premature twin daughters after nearly dying 🦠 How the COVID-19 pandemic changed her postpartum experience and limited the support surrounding her family 🧠 Struggling with postpartum anxiety, grief, anger, guilt, and feeling like she had lost herself 💭 The complicated reality of loving your children while still grieving the life and experiences you thought you would have 🤍 Learning that asking for help, setting boundaries, and caring for yourself aren't selfish 🌱 Why trauma doesn't disappear simply because the ending was positive 💬 The importance of sharing your story and hearing others say, “That is exactly how I feel” 🫶 A powerful reminder that you don't have to justify your trauma or compare it to someone else's for it to matter Stacy's story is an important reminder that a positive outcome does not erase a traumatic experience. You can be grateful that your family survived and still be heartbroken about what happened. You can deeply love your children and grieve the motherhood experience you thought you would have. And most importantly, if it changed you, it matters — and you deserve healing. You can follow Stacy on instagram: @thatsmestacy For more birth trauma content and a community full of love and support, head to my Instagram at @thebirthtrauma_mama. Learn more about the support and services I offer through The Birth Trauma Mama Therapy & Support Services. Disclaimer - The views and opinions expressed by guests on The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the official stance, views, or positions of The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast. The content shared is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as professional or medical advice and/or endorsement.