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SEASON 4 EPISODE 56: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (2:30) SPECIAL COMMENT: In destroying The Washington Post yesterday, Trump-fluffer Jeff Bezos has gone far enough. Democratic leaders must commit to using anti-trust laws to destroy Amazon, Prime, Blue Origin - and Bezos, financially. Every would-be president, senator, representative must vow to break the oligarchs - Bezos, Musk, Trump, and all the rest. Bezos first hollowed out the Post to make it servile to Trump and his gang. Now he's destroyed its foreign and sports desks, and its viability as a counterweight to the anti-democracy forces abroad in the land. All so he could spend $75,000,000 or more on a vanity project designed to tell Trump a life: that his wife is an attractive "movie star." We are not going back to the America of 1885. We must bankrupt Jeff Bezos. (And I apologize for the slipshod nature of this episode. I'm under the weather, throat bad, was planning to postpone this episode but this could not wait. Please forgive for the extemporaneous nature of the commentary; the rest of the show is interesting but not new) B-Block (30:00) OLYMPICS TIME: As the 2026 games begin in Italy let me take you back to the most famous winter games yet: the 1980 Lake Placid Olympics, which I covered as a 21-year old rookie with United Press International (while my bosses tried to teach me how to work and drink at the same time). C-Block (42:00) MORE WITH JAMES THURBER: Continuing the broadcasting theme, his first person story of the timelessness of on-air nerves and the labyrinth that is radio, TV, streaming or any other medium in any century: "How To Relax While Broadcasting." See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SEASON 4 EPISODE 55: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (2:30) SPECIAL COMMENT: So would you like to collapse the Trump Regime? Today? Peacefully? Legally?  You - the White House press corps. It only takes one of you. You go into the next Oval Office Scrum, and you ask him politely for his explanation of something released by his administration, by Pam Bondi’s office, on the government website, and you read – quoting this FBI 302 interview file: “Maxwell presented (her) to Trump…by the things Maxwell said, it was clear that (she) was available…”And don’t stop reading and don’t make eye contact. THEN from the sworn affidavit, reed, quote: “I personally witnessed Defendant Trump telling the plaintiff that she couldn’t ever say anything, if she didn’t want to disappear like the 12-year old female (redacted) and that he was capable of having her whole family killed…” Quote: “the physical and sexual abuse that I personally witnessed of minor females at the hands of Mr. Trump and Mr. Epstein... under penalty of perjury even though I fully understand that the life of myself and my family is now in grave danger” unquote, what SIR is your explanation SIR about when you threatened this girl’s life, sir. Just keep asking. Don't make eye contact, don't stop, don't stop talking when he starts talking. Just reel off those quotes. And the one about becoming fertilizer. And the "Calendar Girls" story (as nonsensical as that probably is). And all the others. Because we don't always see the escape hatch when it appears before us, and it just appeared. Because the Epstein Files are part of an official Department of Justice Document Dump. Their contents are Pam Bondi's problem, not you or your lawyer's. And if you don't bear down and do this job as it was designed by the Founding Fathers, you will sooner or later face one of these outcomes: you'll be arrested, you'll be replaced by some automaton Bari Weiss likes, or the country will survive and the next people running media will never consider you for work because you were cowardly when we needed your courage. Oh and you can peacefully, legally end the careers of Elon Musk and Marco Rubio and Bari Weiss and lots of others. The material is all in front of you. Just have the courage to pick it up and fling it, like he'd fling his poo at you. ALSO: Don Lemon was arrested not because Jesus but because Trump has always hated him. And if you've forgotten, I explained two weeks ago why Trump was trying to restart the 2020 crap, now sending Tulsi Gabbard to Georgia. They're sitting up not a claim that the election was fixed, but that the election was fixed by another country (hey, Nicolas Maduro, you mind taking the rap, in exchange for a pardon?) and there is no statute of limitations on THAT. B-Block (34:55) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Harriet Hageman, the blob they elected to the House from Wyoming to replace Liz Cheney, is now running for Senate. Emphasize "running": she has fled a town hill. The Bill Maher Pretzel Logic: Celebrities should shut up, voters don't listen to TV and movie stars. But Bill, you expect them to listen to you. So you're saying you're not a star? And the latest Bari Weiss firing target is supposedly Face The Nation host Margaret Brennan and one of the names being thrown around (probably nonsensically) is Matt Lauer. C-Block (54:00) MONDAYS WITH THURBER: We need a doubleheader. I heard an audio book with a famous actor doing Thurber's tribute to what would be called Dunning-Kruger Syndrome: "The Macbeth Murder Mystery" and it was one of those rare times when I actually said "No - I did this better." So I bring it to you, and as a bonus, a second great unheralded Thurber story: "Meet Birdey Doggett." Enjoy them at your leisure. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SEASON 4 EPISODE 54: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (2:30) SPECIAL COMMENT: At this moment, the biggest threat to the future of democracy at this minute is Chuck Schumer. He and the other members of the milquetoast caucus of Senate Democrats are ready to give away their chance to turn MAGA's panic over the ICE murders of Renee Good and Alex Pretti (and Keith Porter Jr) into a forced re-structure of the entire damnable structure. Instead of demanding a new organization with bipartisan control and a blanket ban on any activity near polling places or in fact in the week before an election, Schumer is willing to sell that for four trivial concessions. He's willing to forfeit the last chance to get these death squads off our streets in exchange for a "uniform code of conduct," the end of "roving patrols," the discontinuation of masks, and the use of body cameras. Because obviously the threat that ICE's next slaughter of an innocent bystander will be captured on video completely kept these Trump Death Squads from killing Alex Pretti.  It's beyond Schumer's usual naiveté. It's criminally negligent. He shouldn't just be ousted as Minority Leader, he should be expelled from the Senate. Trump blames Bovino. Bovino blames Noem. Noem blames Miller. Miller blames Border Patrol. Roger Stone blames Lewandowski. Trump blames the 2nd Amendment. They're imploding, Chuck. Get out of their way, you moron. ROBERT FICO: Slovakia’s pro-Trump prime minister who last year spoke at CPAC (it's pronounced Fitso) was quoted by five Politico sources as having been shaken after a meeting with Trump on the 17th, alarmed by Trump's "psychological state" and convinced Trump was "out of his mind." Denials all around.  (33:00) BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN: If you didn't know, Saturday he wrote an ICE protest song. Uploaded it to social media yesterday. Calls 'em all out by name, including "King Trump." Chills. With Bruce's kind permission, we're playing it in the podcast. Superb stuff. I wish Bruce were Senate minority leader. B-Block (40:00) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: A News Nation moron reduces the death of Alex Pretti to a "scrum." Melania doesn't know her icons from her iconoclasts. And Katie Miller insists all Conservative women are far more attractive than all Liberal women. You have to give her credit: who knew she had gotten this far with such devastatingly impaired vision? C-Block (50:00) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: Just past the anniversary, now 45 years, since a famed New York morning disc jockey responded to something I said on the air one hour by threatening to kill me, and then responded to something I said on the air the next hour by trying to hire me full-time on his station. The Ted Brown Saga - revisited.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SEASON 4 EPISODE 53: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (2:30) SPECIAL COMMENT: Alex Pretti may not have been murdered by Trump's Paramilitary Death Squad AS a warning to American governors and mayors and citizens, but the Trump Dictatorship is exploiting the state-sponsored terrorism against a VA Nurse to issue that warning anyway: You "better support President Trump," said Attorney General Bondi. The implied threat that followed was easy to decipher: if you don't, ICE won't leave your city alone and it won't leave you ALIVE. Bondi's comment came as she explained her (extortion) letter to Governor Walz, offering to remove ICE and Border Patrol from Minnesota providing Walz gives the DOJ records and data and especially his voter rolls. Because it's easier to fix elections if you have the voter rolls. But behind it was the bigger picture: “We sent Governor Walz a very strong letter today. We got it out saying that he BETTER SUPPORT PRESIDENT TRUMP. He better support the men and women in law enforcement because if he doesn’t, we are, and that’s what we’re doing right now.” The United States of America is at this moment without a functioning government. In place of a government, it has a Trump terrorist organization, enforced by a paramilitary death squad, Proud ICE Boys, masked gunmen, street gangs in Nazi leather trenchcoats. We are without a government and we are without a functioning Constitution and we are without a functioning president. We are destabilized – from within – by state sponsored terrorism. Our OWN state. With our OWN terrorist – the worst terrorist this nation has ever faced: Donald John Trump. What to do about it? It starts with the Democrats in the Senate not just attacking ICE funding but shutting all funding down, indefinitely. This Trump junta must be broken. B-Block (35:00) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: We could devote the segment just to those idiots who defended ICE after the Renee Good murder and are now done, professionally. But we'll limit it to three medalists and some runners-up: two New York Post writers, Tony Dokoupil, Senator Fetterman, Clay Travis, Scott Jennings, Stephen A. Smith C-Block (47:00) COMIC RELIEF: THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: New year, new round-numbered anniversaries. 30 years ago I was wined and dined by a Chicago radio station that was willing to double my salary and build their franchise around me if I quit SportsCenter. And they convinced me to do it. And then half an hour before I was going to say 'let's make it happen' they... took the station off the air. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SEASON 4 EPISODE 52: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (2:30) SPECIAL COMMENT: It's the Big Lie Redux. Trump appears to be planning some kind of SHOW TRIALS over the 2020 Election - and Nicolas Maduro might be his key “witness." He let it slip at the World Economic Forum yesterday. He told the audience in Davos that he will be prosecuting people over the 2020 Election. Never mind that there's nothing to prosecute anybody for; never mind that he lost; never mind that this has already been through the courts: "It was a rigged election. Everybody now knows that. They found out. People will soon be prosecuted for what they did. That's probably breaking news." In the last week, he has twice insisted Joe Biden and his administration ‘should be arrested’ and he has now said "we caught 'em." In his fugue state News Conference Tuesday, Trump had a question planted about ‘finding things out’ from Maduro about 2020. And Maduro's role in some nonsensical conspiracy theory may be the real reason Trump had Maduro renditioned from Venezuela – not drugs. Regardless: all the tea leaves suggest Trump is going to roll out the Big Lie again, this time perhaps with a phony confession from Maduro in exchange for a pardon or something. Trump is insane and desperate, so now he will actually try to focus the Department of Justice and all elected Republicans on prosecuting Biden and others. You think his Greenland Clown Show is crazy? You think his terrorism in Minnesota is crazy? You ain’t seen nothing yet. And god help us if it gets any traction. If media pushback were insufficient to counter the tsunami of propaganda Trump and his criminal gangs could generate, he might try to use the subsequent unrest as an excuse to interfere with the midterms or even rationalize violating the constitution and seeking another term. B-Block (32:30) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Anchors Aweight, Buffalo Bills' owner Terry Pegula, who has fired his coach even though he thinks Sean McDermott did an "admiral" job. Then there's Labor Secretary Lori Chavez DeRemer and the accusations of an affair with a staffer on the public dime. She's chosen to be represented by a lawyer named Dr. Nick. And then there are America's two most overrated journalists Jim "What Is A Woman?" VandeHei, and Anderson "You Really Think Trump Is Insane?" Cooper and yes they each actually asked those questions this week. C-Block (45:00) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: How different was flying nearly half a century ago? There we were, the president of Cornell University and I, waiting to board a plane from New York to Ithaca and there they were, two airline employees, trying to fix a problem in the undercarriage by stuffing paper towels up into it.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SEASON 4 EPISODE 51: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (2:30) SPECIAL COMMENT: In Trump’s War against the United States of America, as he readies 1500 members of the 11th Airborne in Alaska to parachute into Minnesota in a bid to provoke Civil War, as he threatens conflict with NATO while being unable to remember America is IN Nato, is the dictator’s next step an attempt to arrest Joe Biden? To indict Kamala Harris? To convene grand juries to pursue the former First Lady and Jen Psaki and Kareen Jean-Pierre and god knows who else? “Everyone is asking about the Autopen (question mark)” because he’s nearly 80 and he still doesn’t know how to use punctuation marks. It starts with usual Trumpian stupidity and then turns very dark very fast. Quote: “it was an absolutely illegal act perpetrated by the Radical Left Insurrectionists who illegally ran the Biden Administration. Every one of them should be arrested for what they have done… the whole thing was rigged, there must be a price to pay, and it has got to be a big one,” end quote. This is no longer one of those 'signs of his mental illness' from the 1st administration; this is something one of his whores at the Department of Justice will act upon because a) they ARE whores and b) because they are soft and frankly getting an indictment against Joe Biden for something that amounts to “Being President Without Trump’s Permission” is just easier than confronting the whining pants-soiling Jabba the Hutt with bronzer currently occupying the White House – until the floor beneath him collapses. Possibly – given Trump’s weight – LITERALLY. MEANWHILE: We are blackmailing NATO and the EU over Greenland, and he is trying to start a civil war in Minnesota. And his minion is caught on tape ordering CBS to run an interview unedited and this clown Bari Weiss is caught complying.  B-Block (30:00) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: It HAD to happen some day - and this is the day. All three medal winners are either my exes, or connected to my exes. Katy Tur, Megyn Kelly (God no), Laura Ingraham, Kyrsten Sinema. Lawsuits, journalistic disasters, self-contradictions, and me actually defending Katy's husband. C-Block (43:00) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: Just passed the anniversary: the day I met the great '60s-'70s-'80s American actress, star of "Bewitched," portrayer of Lizzie Borden, and instant friend for life, Elizabeth Montgomery. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SEASON 4 EPISODE 50: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (2:30) SPECIAL COMMENT: The newest crimes this week mean he's now committed 32 of the 40 "sins" Thomas Jefferson accused King George III of in The Declaration of Independence: He's telling those protesting the dead on the streets of Iran that he'll defend them while telling those protesting the dead on the streets of Minneapolis that his 'government' was right to kill them. He's raided the home of a journalist, trampling the 1st Amendment He's threatened taxation without representation over sanctuary cities He's unilaterally cut off visas from 75 countries (including thirteen countries headed here in June for soccer's World Cup)  Trump has now lost any remaining moral authority to continue as president of this country.  We must peacefully counteract his increasingly repressive and immoral and violent actions and threats and what looks like only two options regarding the midterms and 2028: he wants to either fix the elections for Trumpists or eliminate them outright. Object? He’ll buy you or blackmail you or hire somebody to KILL you. I mean, what are ICE agents if not private paramilitary gangsters, hired by Trump, to kill you? On what Trump promises is “the day of reckoning and retribution” against Minnesota.  What do we do next? B-Block (30:00) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Bill Maher bristles at a joke (well, when was the last time he actually made, or heard, a joke?) There's another new idiot Congresswoman who wants Tim Walz arrested over the murder of Renee Good. And the Fox News writer who believes we are under attack by gangs of ANTIFA WINE MOMS. C-Block (41:00) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: The "Ford Finger" incident with Trump reminded me of the day the right wing tried to bury Tom Hanks over what they thought was disrespect to staffers at a movie event. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SEASON 4 EPISODE 49: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (2:30) SPECIAL COMMENT: BREAK the cover-up of the ICE murder of Renee Good: 1) INVESTIGATE regardless -on the state and county levels. 2) INDICT and ARREST the ICE shooter, Jonathan Ross (and the Trump militia members who were with him as accessories). 3) IMPEACH Homeland Security Chief Kristi Noem, Ice Director Todd Lyons (and Border Czar Tom Homan. Representative Angie Craig says now the Noem impeachment will proceed). 4) Iif Noem or any other ICE or DHS official continues to stonewall local investigators seeking justice for the murdered women, indict and arrest them for OBSTRUCTION OF JUSTICE. 5) When the Senate takes up the resolution to fund the government past January 30, all Democrats must refuse to vote yes unless ICE is neutered (and Trump's magic war wand as well). This is a pivotal moment in American history. ICE's reaction to its crimes has been to double down. It is now hiding behind this empty, corrupt demand that we all need to improve the “tone” and when they say “we” they mean “you” and when they say “tone” they mean “any criticism at all.” Tom Homan went on Fox and actually added to this bankrupt bromide, NEW threats. "There will be more bloodshed unless we decrease the hateful rhetoric.” Translation: if you keep criticizing us, we will keep shooting you. The acting ICE chief, Lyons, may be even worse. He is daring Minnesota to enforce its laws. “My message to the sheriff is: try and arrest my folks, let’s see what happens.” What should happen is the sheriff serving warrants to Ross, Noem, Lyons and the rest of their ICE street gang - with the Minnesota National Guard standing behind the sheriff. ALSO: Why are these fascists so obsessed with killing Americans? It may be the guns. Not the access to them: the physical impact on a shooter's brain by firing a weapon, as established by new tests. Plus updates on Trump doubling down on his Epstein Cover-up, Jim Jordan's moronic decision to let Jack Smith testify in public, and some Trump madness we should encourage. He wants to repel from a helicopter like Navy Seals. Yes please! Do it! B-Block (32:00) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: How Will Chamberlain, Laura Loomer, Matt Walsh and the philosopher of MAGA, Catturd, 180'd on action in places like Venezuela once they realized Trump had 540'd. The headline says 'Visas for Only Fans Models' but the article does not. And the only person who thinks Stephen A. Smith is a Democrat or a viable presidential candidate is Stephen A. Smith. Up to now it's been funny and a little sad. But now that he has defended the murder of Renee Good and sucked up to Trump and MAGA, it has to be said: to save the brand that they and a lot of people worked their lives to build, Disney chief Bob Iger and ESPN president Jimmy Pitaro have to fire Smith. Oh and - accordingly - I've re-named Stephen. C-Block (45:00) MONDAYS WITH THURBER: Only fitting. Next month it will have been a startling 95 years since James Thurber prophesied the advent of Trump. What would happen when America finally lionized its Worst? "The Greatest Man In The World." See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SEASON 4 EPISODE 48: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (2:30) SPECIAL COMMENT: This is Trump’s terrorism; this is the Kent State of our time. A peaceful, unarmed protestor, murdered by Trump’s ICE, while Trump’s Lie Factory and Trump personally smeared her, blamed her, made up a story of threat where there was no threat, altered images, lied about her, lied about what the Gestapo they sent to kill Americans in American cities did to her. Two weeks from Saturday, it will be ten years since he said it. January 24, 2016: I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose voters.” And once again his stochastic terrorist murderous wish has come true. Only it was on East 34th Street in Minneapolis. One of his Border-Patrol-ICE militia shot and killed Renee Macklin Good. ICE killed her, and then they slandered her. Trump has his wish. The Trump Administration has begun its shooting war, its reign of terror, against the peaceful and unarmed citizens of the United States. It can be disputed whether Renee Macklin Good was the first. It cannot be disputed that unless Trump is legally restrained, she will not be the last. And later, the ICE/Border Control militia attacked a Minneapolis high school. And Trump chose the day of his crime-by-proxy, after the murder, to insist that he has quote “determined” that the military budget for 2027 needs to be increased from the obscene level of one trillion dollars… by FIFTY PERCENT to a trillion and a half. That is the military he wants to use against American civilians on American streets. That is the military he JUST used against American civilians on American streets in Minneapolis. ALSO: I DON'T MAKE THE RULES. Trump's renditioning of Nicolas Maduro from Venezuela means, simply, that any country that would like to send a squad to this country to abduct one of our leaders needs only to have first indicted Trump in their own country - and cut a deal with JD Vance to take over as presidency and swear fealty to their country. B-Block (29:00) POSTSCRIPTS TO THE NEWS: Earlier this week seemed to have been dedicated to Trump's most concentrated revelation of his insanity. Tuesday, at a Republican retreat, he hit all the notes, and pretty much cemented the idea that he indeed suffers from anosognosia (an inability to perceive an illness, especially a dementia-related one). C-Block (37:00) DEATH BY MEDIA: This is just day six of the Tony Dokoupil debacle but if you don't think CBS could bail out of this fast, I was a witness when they took their third most profitable news property - the local CBS News in Los Angeles - and invented a new format called "The News Wheel." It went over so poorly it was cancelled after a month and a day. And since Bari Weiss skipped right past trying to emulate Fox News and went directly to Alex Jones News, they may have to bail out. But there's a whole back story you may not know about. WHY Weiss personally selected Dokoupil to helm this disaster, and why Katy Tur married him. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

BULLETIN PODCAST: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN The Trump Administration has begun its shooting war, its reign of terror, against the peaceful and unarmed citizens of the United States. A woman is dead in Minneapolis, killed by ICE, reportedly a legal observer during a raid in a local neighborhood.  In one statement, ICE claimed the victim was trying to run over an agent; in another it claimed an agent HAD been run over. Neither claim is true. Multiple videos show without a shadow of a doubt that this is a lie. As a car – which was not even blocking a street - moves out of the way of an ICE vehicle, a militia member exits HIS car, approaches the victim’s car from the back and the side, and shoots the driver three times through the driver's window. Reportedly in the face. The shooter is clear of the vehicle.  Mayor Jacob Frey of Minneapolis has told ICE to "get the f***" out of Minneapolis. Minnesota governor Tim Walz has taken a preliminary step towards mobilizing his national guard, issued a so-called “warning order” to the Minnesota National Guard – as he termed it, a “heads up” to its members that he may call up the Guard. A full Countdown podcast will follow at Midnight. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SEASON 4 EPISODE 46: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (2:30) SPECIAL COMMENT: Well, that's it in sum, isn't it? He's "El Presidente" now, isn't he? Military Dictator. Succeeding Maduro. Until he finds somebody else to “run” it. Not the elected Vice President. Not the actual winner of the last election. Not the U-N. Maybe somebody he, in his dysfunctional haze, somebody he can trust. Maybe an oil executive. Or Elon Musk. Or Catturd.  The invasion was illegal there, and illegal here. The kidnapping was illegal. Declaring we would run it is illegal. Naming a proxy dictator is illegal. As was his threat yesterday to the acting president that quote “if she doesn’t do what’s right, she is going to pay a very big price, probably bigger than Maduro” and calling for her belief that her country shouldn’t be invaded by another country breaking its own laws is quote “defiant rejection.” THAT’S illegal. It’s all illegal. That’s a lot of illegal – even for Trump. And I say this, hating Maduro completely. So he needs to be impeached, if not now then a year from now. Rubio can be impeached now for deceiving Congress about its approval. And both of them turned over to the World Court. And the ramifications are almost uncountable, including emboldening them to consider this in Cuba, Greenland, Iran. The poll numbers are terrible, and the risk to Americans of terrorism and violence are just as terrible. And maybe worst of all the evidence of linkage between Putin's strange silence about his ally Maduro, and Trump's dithering about Ukraine, is terrible too.  But at least it produced a pretty good Olivia Nuzzi joke. ALSO: WHY DID THEY CHANGE THE TRUMP HEALTH COVER-UP STORY AGAIN? Five significant changes, about his MRI/CT, his cardiovascular health, and now the total of Cognitive tests he's gotten in just the last nine months. Three? Not two? He's really needed three tests in nine months? To repeat the insightful question from his niece Mary Trump: Why do they have to keep giving him cognitive tests? B-Block (40:00) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: There's begging the new boss to let you keep your current job, then there's what CBS Legal Analyst Jan Crawford is doing for Bari Weiss to try to keep hers. Chuck Schumer comes out firing on Venezuela: with one-millionth of one barrel blazing. And just when you think Cheryl Hines can't get any dumber, Tucker Carlson tries to talk to her about vaccines. C-Block (50:00) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: Will Ferrell did a great comedy bit at the L.A. Kings hockey game on New Year's Day and he did it for the pure joy of it. Which reminded me of the difference between amateurs and pros, and of the days when "Anchorman" was new and Will and I ad libbed a pretty good comedy bit that he said he really loved doing.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

BULLETIN: TRUMP'S ILLEGAL WAR WITH VENEZUELA Two months ago, in an interview, Trump's Chief of Staff Susie Wiles "conceded that attacking targets on Venezuela’s mainland would force Trump to get congressional approval. Quote: "If he were to authorize some activity on land, then it’s war, then [we’d need] Congress.'" She was entirely right. Yet overnight Trump invaded Venezuela and seized its leader Nicolas Maduro. To paraphrase his own chief of staff he DID authorize some activity on land, then it’s war, then [we’d need] Congress.'" AND TRUMP BROKE THE LAW AND BREACHED THE CONSTITUTION.  And this morning he and his hapless Vice President JD Vance confirmed this is as much about seizing oil - as much about increasing the profits of American corporations - as any supposed "narco-terrorism." Without any Congressional consent, Trump did this - anyway - from inside his madness, from within his monomaniacal delusional fog - without any legal right to do so - without any legal right THERE and without any legal right HERE. On his own. Without congressional approval. Without the nation's approval. Without even the flimsiest of the fig leaves of democracy. Without any international consensus. Without any concern for the consequences. Without any consideration of the precedent he provides China in Taiwan and Russia in Poland and any other tyrannical bandit nation anywhere in this world.And we, thanks to Trump, we - the United States of America - are now that tyrannical bandit nation. It is important to note that on the simple, theoretical scale of who should remain as the leader of a failed rogue state, there is no defense for Nicolas Maduro. There is overwhelming evidence that he fabricated his latest quote “re-election” after first denuding the opposition and the law within his country. Again, by those tokens Trump has just put us on that identical path. And the idea that a country is suffering under a dictator who has no moral right to continue can be said even more easily of Putin. And of Xi in China. And dozens of others, many of whom Trump considers friends, about whom he makes no distinction. Maduro has no moral right to continue as president of Venezuela, and Trump has no moral right to act upon that by himself.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SEASON 4 EPISODE 44: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (2:30) SPECIAL COMMENT: Why isn’t Trump bombing RUSSIAN terrorist scum who have been targeting and viciously killing innocent Christians in UKRAINE? I mean now that our White Supremacist Theocratic Bandit government has gone into the Crusades business; now that per Trump we’re bombing to kill ISIS terrorist scum “who have been targeting and viciously killing...innocent Christians” in NIGERIA, shouldn't yesterday's meeting with Zelensky have been about how Trump is going to protect the Christians in Ukraine - and Ukraine is an 85% Christian country - by bombing the Russian terrorist scum who have been targeting and viciously killing innocent Christians IN Ukraine? I'm not holding my breath. But since it's obvious that yesterday all Trump did was stall, just as all he's been doing since he again seized power is stalling on Putin's behalf (he even took a call from Putin 72 minutes before the Zelensky meeting began), isn't this tack supporters of Ukraine and Europe and world freedom who aren't morons like Trump or Rubio who think 'it's not our war because OCEANS' (a logical argument as long as this is the year 1909) should now take? ALSO: THE TRUMP PARDON INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX? It seems brand new. In fact there was a lawsuit alleging Rudy Giuliani told his girlfriend he and Trump were selling pardons for $2,000,000 apiece as long ago as 2019. And we check in MAGA stupidity, how even Brian Krassenstein trolled them, and why on earth Stephen Miller would think the term "sexual matador" is a compliment given how much he hates Mexicans and Spanish-speaking people like, you know, Matadors. B-Block (33:00) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Somebody actually tries to insult the Pope by calling him "Holier Than Thou"; WSJ has a piece blasting Jack Smith written by the first lawyer Trump hired to defend himself against Jack Smith, the ironically named "James Trusty"; Trump is finally hoisted on his lawsuit petard. If we damaged you financially or emotionally, says the Pulitzer Prize Board, we're going to know by how much so we'll need all your fiancial and emotional health records. C-Block (46:00) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: What did you get for Christmas? I got a Baseball Cap! From Ted Turner! Of course, this is Christmas 1982 I'm talking about. The saga of Ted, my first tv job, and what might have been my last tv job after he and I argued in public. But it ended happily - with baseball caps for Christmas. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SEASON 4 EPISODE 43: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (2:30) SPECIAL COMMENT: TRUMP BLOWS UP THE EPSTEIN DEAD WHALE - AND WHY DID HE NAME IT TRUMP MEMORIAL? Remember when they blew up the eight-ton beached whale carcass in Oregon in 1970? Tons of dynamite, they figured it would vaporize the poor dead creature and any pieces left over would be devoured by birds? And instead they sent chunks of hard blubber a hundred feet in the air and actually crushed a car and left debris everywhere? That's what Trump just did to the Epstein Scandal. Trump doxed victims. Published and then deleted photos of himself. Planted photos of Bill Clinton and got caught. It’s raining chunks of Epstein dead whale blubber on the White House AND TRUMP.  And I know this is semantics. But why did Trump re-name it ““The Donald J. Trump and The John F. Kennedy MEMORIAL Center for the Performing Arts”  That means it’s the Donald J. Trump Memorial Center. Why did he name it TRUMP MEMORIAL? Did I miss a bulletin or something? AND IN MEMORY OF PETER ARNETT: A colleague of mine the day I started full time in television at CNN in 1982 and the day I started full time in news in 2003, he was a great reporter because he could tell the truth about Vietnam, sneak into Afghanistan, cheat death, and then when nothing big was happening would go cover a snowstorm in Manhattan or counsel a rookie sportscaster who needed advice.  B-Block (28:00) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Mehmet Oz has an update on the great challenge of inflation in the penis market, Riley Gaines (America's favorite 85th Place Finisher) has podcast news, and Lindsey Halligan misspells "Virginia." At least we THINK she meant Virginia. C-Block (36:00) CHRISTMAS WITH THURBER: Haven't done any lately and there is a holiday coming so here goes. My favorite - and the first Thurber story I ever read aloud ("A Box To Hide In"). His best known ("The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty") and the one that inadvertently brought me into the 'official' Thurber fold ("The Peacelike Mongoose"). See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SEASON 4 EPISODE 42: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN A-Block (2:30) SPECIAL COMMENT: Trump is drowning. Trump’s presidency is DROWNING. Yesterday, it was Republicans forcing a vote to extend Obamacare subsidies. Yesterday, 38 PERCENT approval in the Marist poll. Monday, his Rob Reiner tweet that appalled even the worst of MAGA. Tuesday, Susie Wiles. Friday, the Epstein Files, proving: no, history doesn’t repeat itself but yes, sometimes it LITERALLY rhymes. The Venezuela Wag-The-Dog episode collapsed before it started. It's about Narco-terrorism, whatever the eff that is? Oil? Stuff they stole? Nuh uh. For the first but not the last time we turn to Susie Wiles for the, uh, well, it’s a strange word to use about the Trump administration but here it is: TRUTH. "He wants to keep on blowing boats up until [president Nicolás] Maduro cries uncle. And people way smarter than me on that say that he will." She also single-handedly ended the just-forming prosecution of Jack Smith, and the vowed prosecution of Anthony Fauci, and the already-moribund prosecutions of James Comey and Letitia James and Adam Schiff and and and…All those cases will be thrown out of court. All of them. Because Susie Wiles is on tape saying quote “I don’t think he wakes up thinking about retribution but when there’s an opportunity he will go for it.” About Comey, quote: “I mean, people could think it does look vindictive. I can’t tell you why you shouldn’t think that.” Trump’s chief of staff. Confirming it’s retribution. And retribution means selective prosecution and selective prosecution is illegal and you not only get the case thrown out, if you’ve had to defend yourself or your reputation has been hurt, you can sue the government. And it’s on TAPE. So why did she say it? Why did she think she could get away with it? Because inside the White House even the Chief of Staff knows Trump is drowning. And they are beginning to distance themselves from him. B-Block (27:00) THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: Laura Ingraham doesn't know Niagara Falls is in Ontario or Ontario is in Canada or that Premier Doug Ford isn't an American. I make bad choices in Exes. And these MAGA idiots just cannot see anything in the world any more without trying to force it into their brain-dead templates: it MUST be political and it MUST be an attack on Trump. New York City councilwoman Vickie Paladino "knows" the terrible shooting was an attack on Republicans at Brown University, and the moronic troll "Cat Turd" is sure they're wiping the shooter's social media history clean (which is an idea he should execute). C-Block (37:00) THINGS I PROMISED NOT TO TELL: I'm off by only four days from the exact anniversary, but it is now 42 years since I first met and interviewed Trump and I know most of us who knew him before knew he was nuts, but I must give myself credit. An hour after that meeting I was asking a colleague "what the eff is wrong with THAT guy?" See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.