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What happens when survival mode becomes a way of life? You’ve weathered the hard behaviors, fear, and uncertainty. But somewhere along the way, surviving became the goal. What if God wants more for you—and for your adopted child—than simply surviving? 🌱 Hi Neighbor, Today I’m joined by my neighbor and longtime friend, Erich Nelson. You may remember Erich from Episode 53. He also played an important role in helping my son Jonny during his time in residential treatment. This episode feels less like an interview and more like two friends talking honestly about something we’ve both experienced: getting stuck in survivor mode. Erich explains how early trauma can cause an adopted child to constantly scan for danger and protect themselves from emotional pain. It may even help explain the invisible wall parents sometimes feel despite all the love and support they’re giving. But we also discovered something: Adoptive parents can get stuck in survivor mode too. After years of chaos and uncertainty, you may find yourself waiting for the other shoe to drop—protecting yourself, playing it safe, and simply making it through another day. But are you surviving—or thriving? We talk about: • How trauma can keep adopted children stuck in survival mode. • Why fight, flight, freeze, and fawn are attempts to avoid danger and pain. • Why an adopted child may keep an emotional wall up even when they are safe and loved. ❤️ • How a survivor mindset can become a victim mentality. • Why adoptive parents can become stuck in survival mode too. • How prayer, journaling, intentionality, and a growth mindset can help us move from surviving to thriving. 🙏 My Daily Doable comes at the beginning of this episode: Listen. Really listen. Allow this conversation to take you wherever it does—even if that place makes you uncomfortable. Maybe you’ve spent so much time surviving your adoption journey that you haven’t stopped to ask what thriving could look like. Surviving the hard seasons matters. But surviving doesn’t have to be the destination. Anchors of Hope and Healing are on the way.  Your Neighbor, Tim P.S. If this podcast has given you the courage and confidence to face storms in your life, the number one way you can thank me is to leave a written review on Apple Podcasts. I recorded a quick video to show you how. Thanks so much! If you haven’t joined our private community, consider this an invitation. It’s a safe space to share your struggles and triumphs with fellow adoptive parents who truly understand what you're going through.

What do you do when your family feels like it's falling apart? 💔 The kids are fighting. The stress is rising. You’re exhausted—and running out of patience. 😩 What if you had a system to fall back on when the chaos hits? Hi Neighbor, Today I’m joined by my neighbor and “pod sister,” Katie Keene, host of Simplifying Mom Life. Katie and her husband have spent nearly two decades navigating special needs parenting, raising five children, homeschooling, therapies, and incredibly difficult seasons. Along the way, they discovered the power of family systems—ways of doing things that help their family navigate challenges together instead of constantly reacting to the chaos. 🧩 We talk about: • Building a family culture where everyone works as a team. 🤝 • Setting expectations based on developmental level, not just age. • Protecting your marriage when stress is high. ❤️ • Giving grace to yourself, your spouse, and your children. 🙏 • Looking beneath behavior to discover the root cause. 🔎 • Using faith and Scripture to guide your family. ✝️ Katie leaves us with two simple and powerful Daily Doables. Because sometimes what looks like bad behavior is telling us that something deeper is going on. You don’t need a perfect family. You need a family that knows how to navigate the storms together.  Anchors of Hope and Healing are on the way.  Your Neighbor, Tim P.S. If this podcast has given you the courage and confidence to face storms in your life, the number one way you can thank me is to leave a written review on Apple Podcasts. I recorded a quick video to show you how. Thanks so much! If you haven’t joined our private community, consider this an invitation. It’s a safe space to share your struggles and triumphs with fellow adoptive parents who truly understand what you're going through.

Have you ever looked into someone’s eyes and noticed... The sparkle was gone? ✨ Maybe it was your child. Maybe it was your spouse. Maybe... it was you. Life has a way of wearing us down. The weight of hard seasons, unanswered prayers, and overwhelming circumstances can leave us feeling exhausted and alone. If you’ve ever wondered whether hope can return, this episode is for you. ❤️ Hi Neighbor, In today’s episode, we’re exploring a powerful question: How does God restore the sparkle in our eyes? ✨ We’ll begin in Psalm 13, where David cries out from a place of deep anguish, convinced God has forgotten him. But by the end of the psalm, everything changes. What happened? Then we’ll turn to 2 Corinthians 1, where the Apostle Paul reveals one of God’s most powerful ways of bringing comfort to hurting people. What is that? I’ll also share a conversation from our family camp that reminded me how our adoption stories—both the victories and the struggles—can become a source of hope for other adoptive parents. 🤝 How is that possible? The answers may surprise you! In this episode, you’ll discover three practical ways to become that kind of encouragement: • Be willing to be vulnerable. • Be compassionate. • Hold space for others. Finally, we’ll look at Esther 4 and consider a question that may change the way you see your own story. Because your story may be exactly what someone else needs to hear today. Your struggles don’t have to be wasted. They can become someone else’s hope. 🕊️ Anchors of Hope and Healing are on the way. Your Neighbor, Tim P.S. If this podcast has given you the courage and confidence to face storms in your life, the number one way you can thank me is to leave a written review on Apple Podcasts. I recorded a quick video to show you how. Thanks so much! If you haven’t joined our private community, consider this an invitation. It’s a safe space to share your struggles and triumphs with fellow adoptive parents who truly understand what you're going through.

Have you ever noticed how a simple walk can completely change your perspective?  Sometimes the clearest thinking doesn't happen when we’re trying harder. Sometimes it happens when we simply start walking. 🥾 Hi Neighbor, This episode is a continuation of Episode 243, where we talked about the importance of respite for adoptive parents. After recording that episode at Spring Mill State Park, I wasn’t quite ready to leave. As I made my way to one of the park’s caves, a few unexpected thoughts came to mind that I wanted to share with you. 🏞️ In this short follow-up episode, we focus on one letter from the RESPITE framework—the letter T. For me, T stands for Trails. 🥾 Whenever life feels overwhelming or my mind becomes cluttered, I’ve learned it’s time to hit the trails. Walking through God’s creation, away from notifications, distractions, and the constant demands of life, gives me the space to think, pray, remember, and simply breathe. 🌲 In this episode, I encourage you to discover what your own “trail” might be. It doesn't have to be a state park. Maybe it’s a neighborhood walk. Maybe it’s pacing around your house. Maybe it’s walking through a local park or even the mall. The destination isn’t what matters. Creating space for your mind and heart to decompress is. ❤️ Your Daily Doable: ✍️ Find a trail this week—whatever that looks like for you—and take a walk with no agenda except to clear your head and be present. Small moments of intentional rest can make a big difference in how we show up for ourselves and for our children. 🌱 Anchors of Hope and Healing are on the way.  Your Neighbor, Tim P.S. If this podcast has given you the courage and confidence to face storms in your life, the number one way you can thank me is to leave a written review on Apple Podcasts. I recorded a quick video to show you how. Thanks so much! If you haven’t joined our private community, consider this an invitation. It’s a safe space to share your struggles and triumphs with fellow adoptive parents who truly understand what you're going through.

Have you ever reached the end of the day feeling completely drained? 😔 Maybe you've spent every ounce of energy meeting everyone else’s needs. Maybe you’ve convinced yourself that taking a break is selfish. Maybe you’ve forgotten what it feels like to simply breathe. If that sounds familiar, this episode is for you. Hi Neighbor, Today we’re talking about something many adoptive parents know they need but often struggle to prioritize. Respite. 🌿 As parents, we naturally put our children first. We show up for appointments, therapies, school meetings, and the countless daily challenges that come with the adoption journey. But somewhere along the way, we often neglect ourselves. The truth is, you can’t continue pouring into others if your own cup is empty. In this episode, I recorded from one of my favorite places—Spring Mill State Park in southern Indiana. Surrounded by the sounds of a flowing stream and the beauty of God’s creation, I share why stepping away, even for a short time, has become one of the most important practices in my own life. 🌲 I also walk through a simple framework using the word RESPITE to help you intentionally build moments of rest and renewal into your life. ✍️ As I share some of my own experiences, my hope is that you’ll be encouraged to stop viewing respite as something you’ll get to someday and begin seeing it as an essential part of becoming the parent your child needs. You matter. Your health matters. ❤️ And taking care of yourself is one of the best ways you can continue caring for your family. Anchors of Hope and Healing are on the way. Your Neighbor, Tim P.S. If this podcast has given you the courage and confidence to face storms in your life, the number one way you can thank me is to leave a written review on Apple Podcasts. I recorded a quick video to show you how. Thanks so much!

Have you ever noticed a feeling show up before you understood why? 💭 Maybe your chest felt heavy. Maybe anxiety seemed to appear out of nowhere. Maybe a certain date, holiday, or season affected you more than you expected. And only later did you realize... Your body remembered. If that sounds familiar, this episode is for you. Hi Neighbor, Today’s episode is a little different. I didn't plan to record it. On the anniversary of my mother’s passing, I found myself walking in my backyard, trying to clear my head and give myself some grace on a difficult day. As I walked, thoughts began flooding my mind, and I realized they were worth sharing. So I pulled out my phone and started talking. 🎙️ What followed was a raw and honest reflection on grief, loss, and the way our bodies often remember painful experiences long before our minds catch up. As I share the story of my mother’s final hours and the heaviness I felt on the anniversary of her passing, I also connect those experiences to something many of our adopted children live with every day. Loss. ❤️ Even when they cannot fully explain it. Even when they don't understand why certain days feel harder than others. Their bodies remember. In this episode, you’ll discover why understanding your own experiences with loss can help you better understand your child’s emotions, especially around birthdays, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, holidays, and other significant moments. I also share a simple but powerful tool that helped me process my own grief that day. ✍️ My hope is that this conversation encourages you to show yourself grace, extend grace to your child, and remember that healing often begins when we acknowledge what we’re truly feeling. And if you're carrying something heavy today, I want you to know this: You’re not alone. 🤝 Anchors of Hope and Healing are on the way.  Your Neighbor, Tim P.S. If you haven’t joined our private community, consider this an invitation. It’s a safe space to share your struggles and triumphs with fellow adoptive parents who truly understand what you're going through.

Have you ever walked away from a conflict with your child wondering… “How do I stay connected without making things worse?” 💭 Maybe you've tried to explain. Maybe you've tried to reason. Maybe you've tried to fix the situation. And somehow, the conversation only became more tense. If that sounds familiar, this episode is for you. Hi Neighbor, In today’s episode, we’re wrapping up the PAUSE Plan with the final step: Engage. 🤝 Because eventually, every difficult moment requires a response. The question is not whether you'll engage. The question is how. When emotions are high, our instinct is often to take control, win the argument, or force a resolution. But connection isn't built by controlling the outcome. It’s built by how we show up in the moment. ❤️ In this episode, I share four simple ways to engage that help create safety instead of escalation. I also return once again to the night before Jonny left home and share what I learned about calm leadership in one of the most emotional conversations we've ever had. You'll discover why a soft answer is often stronger than a loud one, why connection matters more than winning, and how your child may remember how they felt with you long after they forget what was said. We'll also take a final look back at the entire PAUSE Framework. And as this series comes to a close, I introduce a brand-new journey we’ll begin together: SHALOM. 🕊️ Because there comes a point in every adoptive parent's story when we must learn how to love deeply while finding peace in outcomes we cannot control. Anchors of Hope and Healing are on the way.  Your Neighbor, Tim P.S. This is just one step in the PAUSE Plan. Don’t skip the earlier episodes. They’ll help this make a lot more sense, Episode 236, Episode 237, Episode 238, and Episode 240. If you haven’t joined our private community, consider this an invitation. It’s a safe space to share your struggles and triumphs with fellow adoptive parents who truly understand what you're going through.

Have you ever walked away from a hard moment with your child thinking… “How did things escalate that fast?” 💭 One minute it’s a conversation. The next, everyone’s overwhelmed, reactive, and saying things they regret. 😞 If that feels familiar, this episode is for you. Hi Neighbor, In today’s episode, we’re continuing the PAUSE Plan with the next step: Slow. 🛑 Because most arguments don’t explode because of what’s said… They explode because of how fast everything happens. ⚡ When emotions rise, our bodies react before our minds can catch up. We rush to defend ourselves, explain, correct, or regain control. But what if slowing the moment down could change everything? 💙 In this episode, I’m sharing a simple tool I call the 30-Second Reset—a practical way to create safety and connection in the middle of emotionally charged moments with your child. You’ll learn how to: 🫁 Slow your breathing so your body can calm down ⏸️ Pause before responding instead of reacting instantly 🗣️ Use fewer, calmer words during conflict 🐢 Stop matching the emotional speed of the moment 🤝 Create safety without giving up your authority as a parent I also take you back again to the night before my son Jonny’s 18th birthday. 🎂 This isn’t about being passive. It’s about refusing to escalate. 🙏 Anchors of Hope and Healing are on the way. Your Neighbor, Tim P.S. This is just one step in the PAUSE Plan. Don’t skip the earlier episodes. They’ll help this make a lot more sense, Episode 236, Episode 237, and Episode 238. If you haven’t joined our private community, consider this an invitation. It’s a safe space to share your struggles and triumphs with fellow adoptive parents who truly understand what you're going through.

Have you ever felt guilty for slowing down… even when your body and mind were clearly telling you that you needed to? 💭 If that feeling hits close to home, this episode is for you. Hi Neighbor, Last week, I had every intention of recording a new episode. But between allergies wrecking my voice 🤧 and life piling up all at once, I realized something important: Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is pause. 🛑 As adoptive parents, we spend so much of our time making sure everyone else is okay that we forget we’re human too. Somewhere along the way, many of us start believing that resting means we’re falling behind. But it doesn’t. ❤️ In today’s short episode, I’m sharing why I decided to step back for a week and how this unexpected pause reminded me of something I’ve been teaching throughout the PAUSE Plan series: Pausing isn’t weakness. It’s wisdom. 🌱 You’ll hear about: 🫶 Why showing yourself grace matters more than pushing through 🔥 How burnout often happens when we ignore our limits too long 🌬️ The difference between quitting and simply taking time to breathe 👨‍👩‍👦 Why adoptive parents especially struggle to give themselves permission to rest 🧠 How pausing can help you respond with intention instead of reacting out of exhaustion Because here’s the truth… You cannot carry everything perfectly every single week. 💔 And sometimes the most responsible thing you can do for your family is take care of yourself before burnout makes the decision for you. Whatever it looks like, I want to encourage you to show yourself some grace. 🤍 Anchors of Hope and Healing are on the way. Your Neighbor, Tim P.S. This is episode isn’t part of the PAUSE Plan. While I am pausing, you can catch up on the earlier episodes. Episodes: 236, 237, and 238. If you haven’t joined our private community, consider this an invitation. It’s a safe space to share your struggles and triumphs with fellow adoptive parents who truly understand what you're going through.

Have you ever stayed calm in the middle of a blow-up with your child… only to realize later you still might’ve missed what was really going on underneath? 💭 If that moment feels familiar, this episode is for you. Hi Neighbor, In today’s episode, we’re continuing the PAUSE Plan with the next step: Understand. I’m taking you back to a moment with my son Jonny, an argument the night before his 18th birthday 🎂 He was angry, pushing hard, and everything in me could’ve reacted the way I used to. But this time, something shifted. Because for the first time, I started to see it differently… This wasn’t just behavior. He was in pain. In this episode, we dig into why understanding what’s underneath your child’s behavior changes everything—and how it keeps you from responding to the wrong thing. You’ll learn how to: 🧠 Recognize when behavior is actually a sign of deeper pain 🛑 Stop taking your child’s reactions personally 🔍 Ask better questions in the heat of the moment 🤝 Move toward your child instead of pulling away 🔁 Shift from reacting to responding with intention Because here’s the truth… What feels like rejection is often hurt. 💔 What looks like defiance can be emotional bleeding. And when you start to see that, your response begins to change. This isn’t something you master overnight ⏳ It’s something you come back to—again and again. Anchors of Hope and Healing are on the way. Your Neighbor, Tim P.S. This is just one step in the PAUSE Plan. Don’t skip the earlier episodes. They’ll help this make a whole lot more sense, Episode 236 and Episode 237. If you haven’t joined our private community, consider this an invitation. It’s a safe space to share your struggles and triumphs with fellow adoptive parents who truly understand what you're going through.

Have you ever had a moment where your adopted child walked out the door and in the silence that followed, your mind wouldn’t stop replaying everything you said, didn’t say, or wish you could take back? If that moment feels familiar, this episode is for you. Hi Neighbor, In today’s episode, we’re continuing the series with Part 2 of the Personal Peace Plan: Assess. You can here Part 1 of this series HERE. I’m sharing a very real moment from my own home—watching my 18-year-old son leave with his birthday cake in hand, and then sitting in the emotional fallout for the next 10 hours, questioning everything I did. Because when things escalate and someone walks away, the hardest part isn’t just the moment, it’s what your mind does after. 💭 In this episode, I walk you through a simple tool to help you stay steady when everything in you wants to react. You’ll learn how to: 🛑 Stop yourself from reacting in a way you’ll regret 🧠 Think clearly when emotions are running high ⏳ Step outside the urgency of the moment 🔁 Avoid escalating a situation you can’t control 🤝 Keep connection open even when things are painful If any of these feel familiar, don’t skip this episode. You’ll also hear a powerful reminder from the Parable of the Prodigal Son 📖 how the father didn’t chase control, but also didn’t shut the door. This isn’t about doing nothing. ❌ It’s about choosing what actually protects the relationship. Because what you do after the pause determines what happens next. Anchors of Hope and Healing are on the way. Your Neighbor, Tim P.S. If you haven’t joined our private community, consider this an invitation. It’s a safe space to share your struggles and triumphs with fellow adoptive parents who truly understand what you're going through.

Have you ever had a moment with your child where you felt the situation escalating… and you knew you had about 10 seconds before everything blew up? ⏳ If that moment feels familiar, this episode is for you. Hi Neighbor,  In today’s episode, I’m giving you a simple, practical plan you can use in real time when emotions rise in your home. 🏠💥 Because when your child is escalating and your heart is pounding ❤️‍🔥, you don’t need theory—you need something you can actually use in the next 10 seconds. ⏱️ This is your Personal Peace Plan, built around one powerful principle: The Power is in the Pause. ✨ Using a simple 5-step acronym, I’ll walk you through how to: 🛑 Stop reacting before things spiral 🧠 Think clearly in high-pressure moments 😌 Regulate your emotions instead of matching theirs 🔽 Lower the intensity without losing authority 🎯 Respond with intention instead of regret If any of these feel familiar, don’t skip this episode: 😟 You feel the tension rising and don’t know how to stop it 😤 You find yourself matching your child’s intensity 😔 You regret what you say in heated moments ⚡ You feel like everything escalates too fast 🕊️ You want to stay calm—but don’t know how in the moment You’ll also hear a powerful example from John chapter 8 📖, where Jesus models exactly what it looks like to pause under pressure—and how that pause changed everything. This isn’t about being passive. ❌ It’s about learning how to lead the moment instead of losing it. 🧭 Anchors of Hope and Healing are on the way.  Your Neighbor, Tim P.S. If you haven’t joined our private community, consider this an invitation. It’s a safe space to share your struggles and triumphs with fellow adoptive parents who truly understand what you're going through.

📖 Have you ever hit a breaking point with your child… where everything feels overwhelming, and you just need a moment to breathe—but don’t even know how to get it? ⚠️ If you’re close to losing it today, don’t skip this episode! Hi Neighbor, In today’s episode, I share 7 practical ways to practice respite—so you can calm your mind, regulate your emotions, and find your footing again on the hardest parenting days. ⚓ When life with your child feels chaotic or unpredictable, it’s easy to stay stuck in survival mode. But respite isn’t just a break—it’s a lifeline. 📖 Using a simple acronym, I walk you through 7 Anchor Points that help you reset physically, emotionally, and spiritually—so you can keep showing up with strength and clarity. 🤔 If any of these feel familiar, this episode is for you: • You feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells in your own home • You reach a point where you’re mentally and emotionally exhausted • You don’t have a clear way to calm down or reset in hard moments • You struggle to find time (or permission) to take a break • You feel guilty stepping away; even when you desperately need it 🧭 In this episode, you’ll discover a simple, repeatable way to create real moments of relief; even in the middle of a hard season. 🤝 You don’t have to wait until burnout to take care of yourself. 💛 Respite is something you can practice; starting today. ⚓ Anchors of Hope and Healing are on the way. Your Neighbor, Tim P.S. If you haven’t joined our private community, consider this an invitation. It’s a safe space to share your struggles and triumphs with fellow adoptive parents who truly understand what you're going through.

📖 Have you ever second-guessed your parenting after someone criticized you? Maybe their words stuck longer than you expected, leaving you wondering if you're getting it all wrong. Hi Neighbor, In today’s episode, I share 3 Anchor Points that can help adoptive parents navigate criticism, self-doubt, and the weight of feeling misunderstood. ⚓ When negative comments come—whether from others or your own inner critic—it’s easy to lose your footing. But these Anchor Points are rooted in Scripture and can help steady your heart in the middle of difficult parenting moments. 📖 We’ll look at Hebrews 12:10, Luke 6:31, and 1 Peter 2:23, and how they guide us toward grace, perspective, and peace when criticism cuts deep. 🤔 If any of these feel familiar, this episode is for you: • Your “happily-ever-after” has turned into something far more difficult than you expected • Your home sometimes feels chaotic, overwhelming, or even unsafe • You lie awake at night replaying criticism or second-guessing your parenting • You’ve been hurt by comments from people who don’t understand your child or your journey 🧭 In this episode, I share a simple, Scripture-centered way to navigate criticism without losing your peace. 🤝 You are not alone in this journey. ⚓ Anchors of Hope and Healing are on the way. Your Neighbor, Tim P.S. I hope you’ll consider leaving a review of the podcast. This short video will show you how. Thanks, Neighbor! If you haven’t joined our private community, consider this an invitation. It’s a safe space to share your struggles and triumphs with fellow adoptive parents who truly understand what you're going through.

📖 Have you ever opened your Bible during a stressful parenting moment and the verse you’re reading just doesn’t make sense? You know the words are important, but the meaning feels confusing or unclear. Hi Neighbor, ⏱️ In today’s episode, I share a simple Bible study tip that takes only a couple of minutes but can help confusing Bible verses suddenly make sense. ⚓ During difficult parenting seasons, Scripture became one of the anchors God used to steady my heart, and this simple practice helped me understand those verses more clearly. 📖 I’ll also walk through Psalm 143:5 and share 3 simple action words that have become an anchor for my own heart during overwhelming seasons. 🤔 If any of these feel familiar, this episode is for you: Your “happily-ever-after” has felt more like survival than joy Your home sometimes feels chaotic or even unsafe You lie awake at night second-guessing your parenting decisions In this episode, I share a simple way to let Scripture steady your heart. You are not alone in this journey.🤝 Anchors of Hope and Healing are on the way. Your Neighbor, Tim P.S. I hope you’ll consider leaving a review of the podcast. This short video will show you how. Thanks, Neighbor! If you haven’t joined our private community, consider this an invitation. It’s a safe space to share your struggles and triumphs with fellow adoptive parents who truly understand what you're going through. Dive deeper into understanding Bible verses by comparing translations to find the wording that resonates with you. Utilize tools like the Blue Letter Bible app for easy comparison.