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THE BLEDISLOE IS SAFE, BABY! 🏆🍻 After weeks of doom, gloom, injuries, nervousness and general All Blacks-induced depression, we headed into the fortress that is Eden Park with the Bledisloe Cup on the line and absolutely no idea what to expect. Well, after a lightning start, a bit of a scare from the Wallabies up front, and some genuinely outstanding rugby, the All Blacks absolutely PUMPED the Aussies. And my God, we actually caught some aerial balls! That's right. AERIAL BALLS. IN THE AIR. CAUGHT BY ALL BLACKS PLAYERS. WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE! We won the aerial battle, dominated up front, and put together the kind of performance we've been crying out for. For the first time in what feels like an eternity, we're actually happy! And naturally, we've decided to sit down and talk about it. Which probably means nobody will watch this episode, because apparently you sadistic bastards only tune in when we're miserable. Not that many of you watch us anyway, but still. We appreciate the suffering. We break down the big win, look ahead to Bledisloe number two, talk our usual mountain of absolute b******t, and bring back everyone's favourite utterly ridiculous game show: Post-Game Predictions of the URC! It's a rare episode featuring two relatively happy All Blacks fans. Make the most of it. Who knows how long it'll last? Grab a beer and enjoy! 🍻

Not a massive week of international rugby… so naturally, we got distracted. With not too much happening on the Test rugby front, we take a slight detour this week. There’s a bit of chat about the NRL Grand Final, a quick look ahead to the Bledisloe Cup, Ardie Savea signing with the Blues, and the growing excitement around getting back to Eden Park. But really, this episode belongs to you lot. We dive into a stack of listener questions covering everything from the very real financial struggles facing New Zealand Rugby, to what our try celebrations would look like if either of us ever managed to score one. Some questions get serious answers. Others… considerably less so. And before any of that, Tony takes everyone on an unnecessarily long journey through the mystery of a horrific smell that appeared in his car — and the increasingly desperate hunt to find out where the hell it was coming from. A quick warning: we had a couple of audio gremlins right at the start of this one. Bear with us for the first five minutes or so and everything sorts itself out. Grab a beer, send in your questions, and enjoy.

Australia did the unthinkable this week and beat South Africa. Yes, yes, we know — “it was basically a B team.” But it was still the team Rassie put out there to win the game, and they couldn’t get it done. So perhaps that much-vaunted South African depth isn’t quite as deep as advertised. There were still some seriously good players in that Springbok side, but throwing them all together and expecting instant cohesion proved a little ambitious. That said… they very nearly bloody won it anyway. Australia completely imploded late in the game, the communications at Optus Stadium completely shat the bed, Andrea Piardi appeared to spend half the match on the phone, and cards started flying out like it was Christmas. Four cards in a ridiculously short space of time somehow left Australia down to 11 men. South Africa naturally piled on the pressure, but somehow the Wallabies held on for what has to go down as both a famous win and one of the most farcical, entertaining and downright absurd games of rugby we’ve seen in a while. Elsewhere, we get into the newly named All Blacks squad. Frizell is back. Barrett is back. Darries — thanks for coming. Ruben Love has unfortunately done himself a mischief and is out, but overall the squad is looking pretty strong. And Australia suddenly don’t look like the easy beats some people might have expected either. Under Les Kiss, there are signs that something pretty interesting might be building. We talk about all of it, have a couple of beers, go wildly off topic and talk plenty of b******t — exactly as you’d expect from Rugby’s Greatest Podcast. Grab a beer and enjoy. Two Cents Gets Distracted.

In another deeply upsetting week, the All Blacks blew their chance to square the Greatest Rivalry Series at 2–2 and were instead wholly and completely beaten by the Springboks, who deservedly wrapped things up 3–1. Much to our disappointment and dismay, the right team won. Despite what some might call a few 50–50 calls. Were they really 50–50 calls, though? Or is Tony just a bit sour? Who knows, really. Anyway, we go deep on the final Test, assess where both squads are at, lick our wounds, talk some b******t, and then finally look beyond the Greatest Rivalry Series at what else is happening in the wonderful world of rugby. Hopefully, at some point soon, we can stop making thumbnails with sad faces. Getting a bit sick of this. Grab a beer and enjoy. Thanks to Severn River Rugby Football Club for the beers. https://www.severnriverrugby.org/

One of the most depressing weeks we’ve ever had to record Two Cents Gets Distracted. Soak it up, Springbok fans. Your team was better. You won the series in South Africa, and we are very, very sad. Despite a pretty decent effort from the All Blacks and a cracking start, the Springboks eventually proved their class — particularly at set piece, where we had absolutely no answers. And then came the moment. Will Jordan scores. For a few glorious seconds, we tasted hope. Joy. Possibility. Then it all turned to ashes in our mouths as we sat through perhaps the most painful 15 minutes of Springbok dominance imaginable, watching them completely take the game away from us. So, naturally, we talk about it. We unload. We grieve. We attempt to process what happened. It is a bitter, bitter pill to swallow. We also cover Argentina vs Australia — a draw that, from Tony’s perspective at least, was pretty hard to get too excited about after everything we’d just witnessed. And a massive thanks to Four Paws for sponsoring the NPC segment. What an absolute champion that bloke is. Grab a beer, Springbok fans enjoy our sadness, and let’s get into it. Masiev thanks Again to 4paws!!

A very sad week in the 2CGD household as the Springboks get up and beat the All Blacks in Test Two of the greatest rivalry in rugby. And, annoyingly, it was an absolute cracker. Two contrasting styles, two heavyweight teams going at each other, and another reminder of exactly why this rivalry is so bloody good. Unfortunately, this one didn’t go our way, which leaves the series locked at 1–1 and sets up a massive, mouth-watering Game Three — the unofficial decider at FNB Stadium in the Republic. Far more important, obviously, than that little moneymaker happening in Baltimore. We go deep on the second Test: where it was won and lost, what the Boks did well, what the All Blacks will be kicking themselves about, and what needs to change ahead of the big one. Tony also goes on a completely calm and measured rant about the outrage surrounding Dave Rennie having the sheer audacity to mention something to the media. We certainly can’t think of any other international rugby coach whose name begins with R who might occasionally use the media to apply a little pressure… Cough cough, Rassie. Cough cough. We also touch on the Lions v All Blacks opportunity that popped up during the week, start building toward the enormous third Test, and — because we’re nothing if not thorough — try not to completely forget about our friends in Australia and Argentina. The Wallabies are quietly putting together something resembling a winning streak. What a time to be alive. It’s a bit of a doozy. Grab a beer, settle in, and enjoy.

What. A. Weekend. The All Blacks have drawn first blood in the Greatest Rivalry Series, knocking over the much-vaunted Springboks in a result that has Tony desperately attempting to remain humble and gracious in victory. Unfortunately, humility has never really been his strong suit. Mark is much better at that sort of thing. And somehow, the All Blacks actually f*****g did it. For long periods, it felt like the Boks had them under enormous pressure. The scrum was creaking, the high-ball battle was brutal, and physically South Africa seemed to have the upper hand. But instead of folding, the All Blacks did something we haven't seen nearly enough of lately: they played like an All Blacks team. They absorbed the pressure. They stayed in the fight. And when opportunities appeared, they absolutely feasted. Five tries to one tells part of the story, but the bigger story was efficiency. South Africa had pressure, territory and dominance in key areas, but couldn't turn enough of it into points. New Zealand, meanwhile, lived off scraps and somehow made every post a winner. Give them half a sniff and — by God — they took it. We break down all the ins, outs, heroes, concerns and glorious moments from Test One before turning our attention to Cape Town, where a wounded Springbok side will undoubtedly be waiting with violence in their hearts. It is going to be significantly harder. And yet... We're quietly starting to think the All Blacks might be able to f*****g do this again. Plus, in considerably less important but equally satisfying news, Tony's North Harbour got one over Mark's Auckland in the Battle of the Bridge. The All Blacks win. Harbour win. Tony wins. It's all coming up Milhouse. Springbok fans: commiserations. We're trying not to be smug. Grab a beer and enjoy.

Two Cents Gets Distracted – Greatest Rivalry Series Preview In a week where the hype is about as hyped as it can possibly be, the speculation is about as speculative as it can possibly be, and our b******t talking is about as b******t as it can possibly be… we are finally here. We sit on the precipice of one of the biggest rugby events in recent memory — more than 30 years in the making — as Test One of the Greatest Rivalry Series: All Blacks vs South Africa is about to kick off. The All Blacks arrive after three relatively straightforward outings against South African opposition. There was a bit of a wobble against the Stormers early doors, but the Sharks and Bulls were dispatched without too much drama. So… should New Zealand be feeling confident? Or has Rassie Erasmus been playing 4D chess again, deliberately lulling the All Blacks into a false sense of security? Were the South African franchises mysteriously instructed not to box kick so the All Blacks wouldn't get any proper preparation? Conspiracy theories? Absolutely. Any chance we actually know what we're talking about? Probably not. Then there are the Boks themselves — back-to-back world champions, as they very much enjoy reminding everybody, over and over and over again. They've been relatively quiet, relatively private, but now it's all starting to come to the fore. Are they slightly undercooked? Could there be some rust after their last showing against Argentina? Or was the evil mastermind Rassie simply keeping his powder dry for the series that really matters? The b******t is high. The speculation is higher. And the hype is very, very real. And it's about to get even more real. Grab a beer and enjoy. A massive thank you to metal's greatest band, Sorcerot, for sponsoring the podcast. Go check out their album Rotten Magic at the link below, and tell them you were sent by the good fellas at Two Cents Gets Distracted.. Go here to here their awesome Album Rotten Magick - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiWye7-B2es&list=RDLiWye7-B2es&start_radio=1&t=1318s

The Greatest Rivalry Tour is officially underway, and naturally that means it’s time for everyone to start drawing enormous conclusions from a handful of rugby games that probably don’t deserve enormous conclusions. First up, the All Blacks took on the Stormers in Cape Town and, for a good chunk of the game, it was a seriously butt-puckering affair. The All Blacks stuttered, spluttered and at times played more like poo than an international rugby side, while an under-strength Stormers team — missing their Springboks — gave them absolute hell. The ageless Deon Fourie was somehow still out there causing problems, before the All Blacks eventually located their rugby brains, pulled away late and finished with a 38–21 win. Then it was the Springboks’ turn, heading to Argentina with plenty of big names left back in South Africa but still carrying some serious quality. Against an under-strength Pumas side, however, they made life look considerably harder than anyone expected. Cue several days of South African fans and pundits performing Olympic-level mental gymnastics explaining why the Bok performance was actually encouraging while the All Blacks’ was apparently evidence that New Zealand rugby had entered its final death spiral. The more boring answer? There probably wasn’t that much to read into either game. Then came Durban. On a sodden track, the All Blacks faced the Sharks in game two of the Greatest Rivalry series — and suddenly Ma’a Nonu appeared in a Sharks jersey. Because apparently 2026 has completely stopped obeying the normal laws of rugby. Before kick-off, Nonu produced one of the most surreal and memorable moments of the tour so far, standing alone and returning Kapa o Pango with a one-man haka. Unfortunately for the Sharks, that was about as competitive as the evening got. The All Blacks absolutely pumped a young Sharks side 54–0 in what eventually became more training run than test of character. Nonu arrived around the 60-minute mark, produced a couple of nice touches, and reminded everyone that he remains approximately 400 years old and still capable of playing professional rugby. Elsewhere, Australia edged Japan in a relatively tight affair, we attempt to decide whether anything we’ve seen so far actually matters, and begin the inevitable overanalysis as the real meat of the Greatest Rivalry Tour creeps closer. Sorry this one’s a little late. Massive thanks to Sports4cast.com for the beers. Grab a beer and Enjoy

We are officially sitting on the precipice of the Greatest Rivalry Tour — South Africa versus New Zealand — and, quite frankly, everybody is starting to lose their minds. The All Blacks are in South Africa. The tour is happening. The hype machine is fully operational. And with the first Test still a good few weeks away, we have reached that wonderful stage where there is almost no actual rugby to analyse, so naturally everybody is just speculating about absolutely everything. The South Africans, in particular, are talking an extraordinary amount of shit about how dominant they're going to be. In some quarters, the All Blacks have already been written off completely. And then you've got people like Tony, who for reasons that may or may not be grounded in reality, are starting to feel... quietly confident. Is that confidence justified? Is it delusion? We'll find out soon enough. Until then, this podcast is basically speculation about speculation, followed by some more speculation, as everybody gets increasingly worked up about a series that hasn't even bloody started yet. There is, however, some actual rugby to talk about. The All Blacks take on the Stormers this weekend in the first little taste of the Greatest Rivalry Tour. What sort of team do the All Blacks put out? What do the Stormers look like without their Springboks? And why, despite all of that, are we still weirdly nervous about it? Meanwhile, the Boks are just popping over to Argentina for a casual one-off Test against a slightly depleted Los Pumas side — which, let's be honest, they will probably absolutely rinse. But all of that is merely the entrée. The real thing is coming. The All Blacks are in South Africa. The Springboks are waiting. The shit-talking has begun. The nerves are building. The optimism is getting dangerously high. It's stressful. It's exciting. And it is officially on like Donkey Kong.

The first block of the Nations Championship is done, and the All Blacks—much to our delight—finally played like bloody All Blacks. For 40 glorious minutes at Eden Park, they were all over a slightly flailing Irish side. Ireland fought their way back into it after halftime, but putting 41 points on them and winning by 19 is a bloody good result. More importantly, it gives us a little bit of—keyword—optimism heading into the Greatest Rivalry Series. Speaking of which, the Boks—or the B-Boks, C-Boks, or whatever version of the Boks was rolled out this week—put Wales away without too much trouble. South African fans weren’t exactly thrilled by the dropped ball and generally ordinary-looking performance, but they still won 43–0, and that scrum somehow looks even more terrifying than ever. So, naturally, we dive into the All Blacks–Springboks rivalry and start looking ahead to the series we’ve all been waiting for. Tony throws a little chum into the water, so try not to bite too hard. It’s all banter at the end of the day. Probably. Rassie is definitely in our heads. Elsewhere, Australia gave Joe Schmidt a fitting send-off by dominating Italy, Fiji scored some absolutely ridiculous tries despite losing to Scotland, and England and Argentina appeared to cram an entire year’s worth of yellow cards into one fiery, chaotic match. Coming on the back of the spicy England–Argentina Football World Cup semifinal, the whole thing felt suitably hostile, slightly unhinged and, eventually, pretty entertaining. We cover all of that, talk plenty of rugby and sprinkle in the usual amount of b******t. There’s no episode next week, but after the break, we’re going deep into South African content as the Greatest Rivalry Series finally arrives. Grab a beer and enjoy.

Week two of the Nations Championship delivered some incredible rugby, some average rugby, a few near-upsets, several glorious “could-have-beens,” and more than a handful of “why now?” and “why on earth are they playing there?” moments. The All Blacks kicked things off against Italy in a match we were desperately hoping would be the moment Dave Rennie’s new team finally clicked. That may be a little demanding in only week two, but they certainly didn’t click during a fairly shambolic opening 40 minutes. Things improved dramatically for about 15 minutes in the second half, when New Zealand suddenly piled on the points and eventually cruised to a 30-point victory. Will Jordan scored his 50th Test try, reaching the mark faster than any All Black before him, while Anton Segner made his long-awaited debut and Moby provided a tidy little cameo off the bench in his first Test as well. Australia then produced a genuinely excellent first half against France, followed by an absolute dog-shit second half against France. What began as a hugely encouraging performance became another deeply deflating evening for Wallabies supporters around the world. Ireland faced Japan in that famous fortress of Japanese rugby: Newcastle, Australia. Why Newcastle, Australia, you may ask? Excellent question. Apparently Ireland didn’t fancy travelling to Japan, pushed their weight around and got their way. Japan made the match considerably tighter than expected, but Ireland eventually showed their class and pulled away. England absolutely pumped Fiji, while the game of the round may have come in South Africa, where Scotland the Brave were once again incredibly brave. The Springboks may not have fielded their absolute strongest side, but they were still expected to dominate. Instead, Scotland pushed them far closer than the final score suggests. With a little more clinical finishing, a bit more composure near the line and perhaps slightly more defence, this genuinely could have been the day Scotland finally won in the Republic. Sadly, it wasn’t to be. This week’s beers were kindly supplied by the great Andrew Stark from Tempo Rehab. Check out his work at temporehab.com and have a look at the Tempo Rehab YouTube channel as well. https://www.youtube.com/@tempo_rehab Grab a beer and enjoy.

A weekend of pumpings. Leinster pumped the Bulls in Ireland to claim the URC title. Our friends the Hurricanes looked incredible and gale-forced their way to a totally, utterly, humiliating pumping of the Chiefs in a frankly silly 60–50 loss. And in what is usually a bit of a laugh, the Barbarians taking on South Africa in the Republic looked slightly less like a laugh this time, as the Baa-Baas also received a reasonably serious pumping. So if you were in dire need of some tight rugby, like some of us were, this was absolutely not the weekend for you. That brings the domestic season to a close, with a little sprinkling of international flavour thrown in. But maybe the biggest story of the week eclipsed all of that: Dave Rennie naming his inaugural All Blacks squad. Four new names were included, perhaps none more interesting than Anton Segner. The German-born loose forward came to New Zealand as a 15 or 16-year-old on what was basically a student exchange, and now, ten years later, he’s in the All Blacks. Quite an incredible story — especially after standing out in a poorly performing Blues outfit like a diamond in a sea of poo. Stop it. Also, a massive thanks to Allouran for the wine. We appreciate it very, very much. Grab a beer and enjoy. Or, in this case, maybe a wine.

A weekend of pumpings. Leinster pumped the Bulls in Ireland to claim the URC title. Our friends the Hurricanes looked incredible and gale-forced their way to a totally, utterly, humiliating pumping of the Chiefs in a frankly silly 60–50 loss. And in what is usually a bit of a laugh, the Barbarians taking on South Africa in the Republic looked slightly less like a laugh this time, as the Baa-Baas also received a reasonably serious pumping. So if you were in dire need of some tight rugby, like some of us were, this was absolutely not the weekend for you. That brings the domestic season to a close, with a little sprinkling of international flavour thrown in. But maybe the biggest story of the week eclipsed all of that: Dave Rennie naming his inaugural All Blacks squad. Four new names were included, perhaps none more interesting than Anton Segner. The German-born loose forward came to New Zealand as a 15 or 16-year-old on what was basically a student exchange, and now, ten years later, he’s in the All Blacks. Quite an incredible story — especially after standing out in a poorly performing Blues outfit like a diamond in a sea of poo. Also, a massive thanks to Allouran for the wine. We appreciate it very, very much. Grab a beer and enjoy. Or, in this case, maybe a wine.

Two Cents Gets Distracted is back for Super Rugby semifinal weekend — a weekend where we were promised tension, drama, heartbreak, and possibly a couple of classic playoff arm-wrestles. Instead, we got two absolute pumpings. First up, the Crusaders — the playoff specialists, the heartbreak merchants, the team who have ruined so many perfectly good weekends for so many perfectly decent rugby fans — went up against one of the four teams of the year, the Chiefs. We were all set for a tight one. A proper semifinal. A clash of heavyweights. What we got was the Chiefs putting 30-plus points on them in the first half and turning the whole thing into something closer to a public execution than a rugby match. The score settled a little in the second half, but let’s be honest, the damage was done. As neutrals, we probably wanted a contest. As people who have watched the Crusaders cause untold emotional damage for years, we also didn’t entirely hate seeing them get pumped. Then it was time for our Blues, who had absolutely no business being anywhere near a semifinal, but through the luck of some playoff-format nonsense found themselves lining up against the high-flying Harlem Hurricanes — or, frankly, the Harlem Globetrotter Hurricanes. The Canes were slick. They were sharp. They were ridiculous. There was a touch of skulduggery from our man Cam Roigard, but he got on with it, lifted the tempo, and the Hurricanes started doing Hurricanes things. To be fair to the Blues, the first half was at least a little tighter than the Chiefs-Crusaders game, with only four points in it at the break. Then the second half happened. The Hurricanes showed their class, the Blues forgot how defence works, and the Canes ended up putting 50-plus on them. Mercifully, the Blues’ season is now over, and we can all move on with our lives. So now we get the final the competition probably needed: Chiefs vs Hurricanes at the Cake Tin. The two best, most in-form teams in Super Rugby going head-to-head. Will they fill the tin to the brim? Who knows. Can we please, for the love of all things holy, get a competitive game? We also have a chat about the URC final coming up, with Leinster taking on the Bulls, and because this is Two Cents Gets Distracted, there are naturally a couple of technical difficulties to keep things spicy. Grab a beer and enjoy. Massive thanks as well to Carl from Republic Home and his dad David for sponsoring the podcast. You can get 10% off by using the code 2CGD at republichome.com. Thanks for the beers, lads.