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In this Agony Aunties episode, Sophie and Emily return to answer a deeply thoughtful listener question about feeling second best to a partner’s late spouse. Together, they reflect on communication within relationships, the role of the inner critic, and how comparison often reveals the stories we tell ourselves rather than the truth of how we are seen. The conversation offers gentle reframes, practical ways to step out of self-punishing thought loops, and reassurance that entering a family touched by grief isn’t about replacement but about bringing your own, distinct presence into the system. • Email your questions: [email protected] • DM Julia on Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe If Only If create beautifully made nightwear that feels thoughtful, timeless, and deeply comforting at the end of the day. Their pieces are designed to support women through every stage of life and are made from natural fabrics in small batches. If you’d like to explore their collection, you can visit ifonlyif.co.uk and use the code JULIA15 for 15% off.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

On the first episode of Season 10 of Therapy Works, host Julia Samuel is joined by Dr Alex George for an unusually candid conversation about what happens when your inner world starts to feel like friction you can’t push through. Alex shares that he’s currently being assessed for autism, and reflects on how recent ADHD and OCD diagnoses have helped him make sense of longstanding patterns, from rumination and sensitivity to masking and burnout. Together they explore the difference between “being different” and struggling, how grief and trauma can intensify symptoms, and why understanding yourself is often the first step towards acceptance and peace. Julia and Alex also talk about the cost of becoming the “fixer” in a family after the sudden death of Alex’s brother, and the cumulative impact of public scrutiny and frontline NHS work during the pandemic. In the reflective discussion afterwards, Julia is joined by Sophie and Emily to unpack the debate around diagnosis, why it triggers such strong reactions, and how the most useful question is whether something is genuinely interfering with your life. It’s a moving, hopeful start to the season about naming what hurts, finding the right support, and building a kinder world by starting with compassion for yourself. If Only If create beautifully made nightwear that feels thoughtful, timeless, and deeply comforting at the end of the day. Their pieces are designed to support women through every stage of life and are made from natural fabrics in small batches. If you’d like to explore their collection, you can visit ifonlyif.co.uk and use the code JULIA15 for 15% off.  Find Alex:Website: https://www.dralexgeorge.co.uk/Instagram: @dralexgeorgeBuy His New Book "Am I Normal?": https://amzn.eu/d/aoEqbLDListen to Stompcast: https://www.dralexgeorge.co.uk/podcast More from Therapy Works: Subscribe to the Therapy Works Substack for guidance on everyday struggles and access to Julia’s monthly live webinar: ⁠https://juliasamuel.substack.com/⁠ Follow Julia on Instagram: ⁠@juliasamuelmbe⁠ for tips, tools, and conversations about navigating life’s challenges. If you enjoy this episode, please consider rating, reviewing, and subscribing — it makes a big difference and helps others discover these conversations.If you need help finding a therapist, visit: ⁠The Samuel Therapy Practice⁠ This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapyworks and get on your way to being your best self. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

While Julia recovers from shoulder surgery, Sophie and Emily step in to respond to a painful and familiar dilemma, wanting another child when your partner doesn’t. They explore the emotional deadlock that can arise when a decision feels completely binary, and how the absence of compromise can intensify grief, fear, and resentment on both sides of a relationship.Together, they reflect on how meaningful listening, really hearing what having or not having a baby represents to each person, can soften polarisation and protect connection, even when there is no easy answer. They talk about guilt, longing, fear of resentment, and the importance of staying emotionally connected through difference. This episode offers compassionate guidance for navigating unbearable uncertainty, honouring grief, and finding ways to continue, with yourself and with each other, when life doesn’t unfold as hoped. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this Agony Aunties episode, Julia, Sophie and Emily respond to a brave listener who admits she loves her two adult daughters deeply but often struggles to like them. With one daughter feeling unmotivated and the other frequently hurtful or unpredictable, she asks how to navigate disappointment, set boundaries, and understand what is reasonable to expect from adult children.Together, they explore the unspoken guilt many parents feel, the shift from parent–child to adult–adult relationships, and how old hurts layer into current dynamics. They offer gentle guidance on letting go of control, maintaining connection, managing expectations and finding compassion for yourself as well as your children. A validating, honest conversation for anyone facing complicated family relationships. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this special Agony Aunties episode, we pause our usual listener questions so Julia can share something personal as she prepares for a reverse shoulder replacement after years of complications from Ramsay Hunt syndrome and a serious injury. With Emily and Sophie beside her, she speaks openly about the dread of facing another major operation, the loss of trust in her body, the somatic shock that surfaced when she made the decision, and the uncomfortable confrontation with ageing, vulnerability, and past medical memories. They explore how coping strategies like denial and busyness can feel protective, how therapy can be both helpful and challenging, and how support from others makes an enormous difference even when some parts of the journey are inevitably solitary. It is an honest, tender conversation about fear, resilience, and the deeply human work of accepting help and allowing the body to heal. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this expert episode of the Therapy Works podcast, Julia speaks with psychotherapist Oona Metz, author of Unhitched, about her extensive experience supporting women through divorce. Drawing on over 30 years of clinical practice - including 15 years running divorce support groups - Oona also shares insights from her own personal experience of divorce.Together, they explore the emotional stages of separation, the impact of divorce on children, and the importance of self-care, community and compassion during the process. While acknowledging how painful divorce can be, Oona emphasises that with the right support it can also become a powerful opportunity for growth, healing and new beginnings.Buy her book: https://www.oonametz.com/book-unhitchedResources mentioned:
 Baroness Fiona Shackleton’s 10 questions to ask before embarking on a serious relationship: https://news-archive.exeter.ac.uk/featurednews/title_672700_en.html Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this bonus episode of Therapy Works, I’m joined by Professor Marc Brackett, founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and author of Permission to Feel and Dealing With Feeling. We talk about why so many of us grew up without an emotional ally, how fear stops us asking the people we love how they really feel, and why emotions aren’t something to suppress or fix. They are information we need to listen to.Marc shares a clear, practical framework for emotional regulation, giving ourselves permission to feel, naming emotions, and calming the nervous system, alongside thoughtful ways to navigate family dynamics and become the support we may not have had growing up. It’s a hopeful, grounding conversation about learning emotional skills at any age, and passing them on. You can buy Marc’s latest book Dealing With Feeling here: https://amzn.eu/d/80YxubS This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapyworks and get on your way to being your best self. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, the Agony Aunties respond to a deeply moving question from a widowed father facing his first Christmas after the death of his wife. Six months into grief, he is trying to support three adult children while barely holding himself together, worried he’s failing them and watching one daughter take on too much responsibility as the family adjusts to an unfillable absence. With compassion and clarity, Sophie and Emily explore why trying to replace the person who has died can leave everyone exhausted, how grief reshapes family roles, and why acknowledging the presence of absence can be more healing than trying to make things “normal.” They offer gentle, practical guidance on talking openly about grief, supporting adult children who are grieving in different ways, approaching Christmas with flexibility, creating or changing rituals, and drawing in support rather than doing it all alone 0 reminding us that grief isn’t something to solve, but something to be carried together. Resources: Grief Works App: https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/grief-works-self-care-love/id1558867513 Cruse: https://www.cruse.org.uk/ Child Bereavement UK: https://www.childbereavementuk.org/ This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapyworks and get on your way to being your best self. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this Agony Aunties episode of Therapy Works, Julia, Emily and Sophie respond to a deeply moving letter from a listener questioning whether her long, emotionally disconnected marriage can be saved. They explore the complex layers of love, duty, financial dependence, neurodivergence, resentment, and midlife awakening - offering thoughtful reflections on grief, desire, the cost of staying, and the cost of leaving. With compassion and clarity, they discuss how therapy, imagining possible futures, practical planning, and understanding neurodivergent dynamics can help illuminate a way forward. They also share book and podcast recommendations, discuss the emotional impact on both partners, and remind listeners that meaningful change - whatever form it takes - doesn’t have to be rushed. Links & Resources Mentioned • Email your questions: [email protected] • DM Julia on Instagram: @juliasamuelmbe • The Honesty Box by Lucy Brazier • Therapy Works episode with Lucy Brazier • The Four Minds by Miranda July (book referenced in the discussion) is called All Fours: https://mirandajuly.com/all-fours/ • Esther Perel x Miranda July conversation (podcast interview) • Unhitched: The Essential Divorce Guide for Women by Oona Metz (guest mentioned as upcoming interview) If you need help finding a therapist, visit: ⁠⁠⁠⁠The Samuel Therapy Practice⁠⁠⁠ This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapyworks and get on your way to being your best self. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Emily Samuel engages in a conversation with Dr. Anna Colton about her book, 'How to Talk to Children About Food'. They address common parental fears and misconceptions regarding children's eating habits and emphasise creating a positive, low-stress relationship with food. Dr. Colton highlights the importance of neutral and intuitive eating, discusses the role of family dynamics, and gives practical advice for parents, especially those dealing with their own dietary issues or past eating disorders. They also cover strategies for handling food-related stress during holidays and how to provide a balanced, non-punitive approach to child nutrition. Overall, the episode revolves around fostering healthy attitudes towards food without anxiety, aiming for prevention over correction. Find Anna: Website: https://www.dranna.co.uk/about Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drannacolton Book (Amazon): https://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Children-About-Food/dp/1785120557 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this Agony Aunties episode, Emily, Sophie and Julia respond to a powerful letter from a listener in her fifties who is still grieving the sudden loss of her mother during COVID, while also supporting a teenage daughter who adored her grandmother and coping with a painful fallout with her sister. Together, they explore how trauma can fracture families, why unresolved love has nowhere to go, and how small, gentle rituals can help create meaning when goodbyes were denied. They offer compassionate guidance on rebuilding connection, supporting a grieving teen, and finding personal stability amidst multiple layers of loss - reminding us that healing often begins with tiny steps, openness, and shared humanity. More from Therapy Works: Subscribe to the Therapy Works Substack for guidance on everyday struggles and access to Julia’s monthly live webinar: ⁠⁠⁠https://juliasamuel.substack.com/⁠⁠⁠ Follow Julia on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠@juliasamuelmbe⁠⁠⁠ for tips, tools, and conversations about navigating life’s challenges. If you enjoy this episode, please consider rating, reviewing, and subscribing - it makes a big difference and helps others discover these conversations. If you need help finding a therapist, visit: ⁠⁠⁠The Samuel Therapy Practice⁠⁠ This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapyworks and get on your way to being your best self. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this week’s Agony Aunties episode, Julia, Sophie and Emily answer a painfully relatable listener question about being unable to stop checking an ex’s Instagram — even from a secret second account. They explore why scrolling an ex feels so addictive (spoiler: it’s part heartbreak, part habit, part magical thinking), how it keeps us stuck in the past, and the practical behavioural tools that genuinely help break the cycle. From deleting apps temporarily, to “just for today” thinking, to catching the urge and offering yourself compassion before acting, they unpack why this pattern is so common — and how to gently free yourself from it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode of Therapy Works, Julia Samuel speaks with journalist Archie Bland - not in his role at The Guardian, but as Max’s dad. Archie describes the night his eight-week-old son stopped breathing, the frantic CPR, the ambulance to Great Ormond Street, and the brain injury that followed. He talks with raw honesty about naming it as a “catastrophe,” living with PTSD, the day-to-day realities of parenting a disabled child, and why he refuses the neat, “inspirational” narratives people often project onto families like his. He also shares the fierce love he feels for Max as he is now, the joy and grief of welcoming Max’s little brother Laurie, and the life-changing possibilities of communication technology like eye-gaze devices.After the conversation, Julia, Sophie and Emily reflect on rage in grief, the loneliness of “catastrophe-land,” and what it really means to hold both love and fury at the same time. This episode may be especially resonant for parents, carers and anyone touched by disability, trauma or sudden life change. If you are a parent or carer of a disabled child in the UK and need support, you can find practical help and advice at Contact – the charity for families with disabled children: https://contact.org.uk More from Therapy Works: Subscribe to the Therapy Works Substack for guidance on everyday struggles and access to Julia’s monthly live webinar: ⁠⁠⁠https://juliasamuel.substack.com/⁠⁠⁠ Follow Julia on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠@juliasamuelmbe⁠⁠⁠ for tips, tools, and conversations about navigating life’s challenges. If you enjoy this episode, please consider rating, reviewing, and subscribing - it makes a big difference and helps others discover these conversations. If you need help finding a therapist, visit: ⁠⁠⁠The Samuel Therapy Practice⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode of the Agony Aunties series, the aunties respond to a heartfelt question from a listener about how to rebuild a sense of connection and community in midlife after losing several close friends. They explore the importance of actively nurturing relationships, reaching out to old friends, and embracing vulnerability as a way to form deeper bonds. The aunties share practical ideas - from joining local groups or volunteering to simply saying yes to new invitations - and remind listeners that strong social connections are vital for both emotional and physical wellbeing. Their message is clear: be brave, take small steps, and keep showing up for friendship, even when it feels hard. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode of Therapy Works, Julia is joined by cook, writer and wellbeing advocate Melissa Hemsley for a heartfelt conversation about anxiety, self-compassion and finding steadiness in everyday life. Together, they explore how childhood experiences and family patterns can shape our emotional world, and how learning to live alongside anxiety - rather than fight it - can bring greater peace. Melissa speaks openly about motherhood, IVF and the challenge of slowing down, while Julia offers therapeutic insight into acceptance and emotional regulation.The conversation moves gently between food, feelings and the small rituals that help us feel safe and grounded. From cooking nourishing meals to walking outside or simply pausing for breath, Melissa reflects on how ordinary moments can be acts of care. This honest episode is a reminder that good enough really is enough, and that small kindnesses - to ourselves and others - can make all the difference.Find Melissa: 
Website: https://www.melissahemsley.com/Instagram: @Melissa.hemsleyBooks: https://www.melissahemsley.com/books More from Therapy Works:Subscribe to the Therapy Works Substack for guidance on everyday struggles and access to Julia’s monthly live webinar: ⁠⁠https://juliasamuel.substack.com/⁠⁠ Follow Julia on Instagram: ⁠⁠@juliasamuelmbe⁠⁠ for tips, tools, and conversations about navigating life’s challenges. If you enjoy this episode, please consider rating, reviewing, and subscribing - it makes a big difference and helps others discover these conversations. If you need help finding a therapist, visit: ⁠⁠The Samuel Therapy Practice⁠ This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapyworks and get on your way to being your best self. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices