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Sex After 50 doesn’t have to decline — in fact, for many people, it gets better. In this episode of Ask a Sex Therapist, Heather is joined by Karen Bigman, a sex and relationship coach specializing in midlife and sex after 50, for an honest, funny, and deeply validating conversation about aging, desire, body changes, and intimacy. They explore why so many couples assume that low libido, painful sex, or loss of desire is just “part of getting older” — and why that belief is often what actually harms a sex life the most. From menopause and perimenopause to body image, shame, communication, and emotional intimacy, this episode reframes sex after 50 as something that can be playful, connected, and deeply satisfying. You’ll hear practical insights about: Why sex drive changes with age — and why that doesn’t mean sex is overHow menopause, hormones, and vaginal health affect desire and pleasureWhy mental foreplay, laughter, and connection matter more than performanceHow to talk about sex with a partner when it feels awkward or intimidatingLetting go of obligatory sex and rebuilding pleasure without pressure Why kissing, novelty, and communication are essential for long-term intimacy This conversation is especially helpful for: People navigating midlife, perimenopause, or menopauseCouples wondering how to keep sex fun and connected after 50Anyone struggling with desire discrepancy, body confidence, or sexual shamePeople curious about sex and agingPartners who want to better support each other through aging and change If you’ve ever wondered whether great sex is still possible later in life, this episode offers reassurance, science-backed insight, and permission to stop forcing what doesn’t work — and start enjoying what does. Find out more about Karen Bigman, her podcast, courses and ARYA discount at: https://www.taboototruth.com/podcast Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Sex and Aging 04:03 Debunking Myths About Sex After 50 08:33 The Role of Hormones in Sexual Health 11:56 The Importance of Self-Compassion 14:21 Body Image and Self-Perception 17:16 Common Struggles in Sexuality After 50 21:13 The Necessity of Sex for Health 22:54 Dating and Communication in Later Life 23:33 Navigating Aging and Intimacy 24:28 Emotional Intimacy and Communication 25:48 The Art of Kissing 27:21 Exploring Playfulness in Relationships 28:32 Mental Foreplay and Connection 29:00 Kissing Techniques for Better Connection 31:17 Addressing Kissing Preferences 32:50 Overcoming Communication Barriers 34:29 Small Steps to Enhance Intimacy 36:00 The Importance of Novelty in Relationships 37:28 Quality Over Quantity in Sexual Relationships 39:12 Resources for Enhancing Intimacy This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

Certified Sex Therapist, Heather Shannon explores the common sexual assumptions and misunderstandings that derail couples' sex lives. She discusses how past experiences shape current perceptions, the importance of maintaining a growth mindset, the influence of hedonic conditioning and the need for open communication to navigate assumptions. The conversation emphasizes the role of curiosity in fostering intimacy and understanding between partners. Chapters 00:00 Understanding Sexual Assumptions 05:40 The Impact of Past Experiences on Present Relationships 10:46 Mindset and Its Role in Sexual Communication 14:34 Navigating Assumptions in Long-Term Relationships 20:40 The Importance of Curiosity in Intimacy Work With Heather Want to get out of your sex rut? Request a free consultation for Heather's signature Pathway to Passion coaching program. Unlock Your Passion - Consultation Call Video Version Check out the video version of this epsiode on our YouTube channel here: https://youtu.be/hyyz4ZyY65A This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

In this episode, Heather Shannon delves into the hidden reasons why sex becomes frustrating in long-term relationships. She explores four types of stories and meanings that couples attach to their sex lives, which often lead to emotional suffering. Through examples and frameworks like existential kink and internal family systems, Heather provides insights into how these unconscious belief patterns affect relationships and offers ways to reframe and address them for healthier connections. Looking to get past sexual pressure or frustration and feel authentically close and excited again? Book a free consultation to see if coaching with Heather or a member of her team could be a good fit! Booking A Consultation With The Right Person This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

Want to get personalized coaching to improve your sex life? Book a free consultation with Certified Sex Therapist, Heather Shannon or her team. Booking A Consultation With The Right Person Summary In this conversation, Heather Shannon and Laura Alyn explore the journey of self-discovery in sexuality through self-inquiry and writing. Laura shares insights from her book, 'A Thousand Questions and Activities to Embrace Your Sexuality,' discussing the importance of understanding one's desires, the role of writing in processing thoughts, and the significance of open communication in relationships. They delve into the connection between body and mind, the exploration of kinks, and the necessity of creating a safe space for sexual expression. The discussion emphasizes the ongoing nature of personal growth and the importance of embracing one's sexuality without shame. Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Sexual Self-Discovery 02:47 The Journey of Self-Inquiry 05:44 The Importance of Writing in Self-Discovery 08:48 Exploring Sexual Questions and Preferences 11:05 Diving Deeper into Kinks and Desires 13:46 Understanding Safety in Sexual Exploration 17:40 Connecting the Layers of Self 18:59 The Body-Mind Connection in Sexual Desire 20:31 Overriding Body Signals and Hustle Culture 21:37 Self-Inquiry and Personal Growth 22:28 The Ornelian Framework: A Path to Self-Discovery 23:55 Understanding Soul and Spirit in Intimacy 25:33 Navigating the Anxiety of Self-Inquiry 28:50 Complaints as Indicators of Deeper Desires 31:31 Responsibility in Relationships 32:40 Exploring Intimacy and Connection 34:34 Embracing Adventure in Sexual Exploration Visit Laura Alyn's website and check out her framework here: https://theornelian.com/2025/08/27/framework/ Video Episode Check out the video version of this episode on our YouTube channel: https://youtu.be/GbUngjPy1nQ Keywords sexuality, self-inquiry, communication, desire, intimacy, kinks, writing, personal growth, relationships, self-discovery This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

Sex doesn’t usually disappear because people stop loving each other. It disappears because of emotional mistakes no one teaches us to recognize. In this episode, I’m breaking down five patterns that quietly destroy sex — and what to understand instead Work With Heather Feeling frustrated with your sex life or lack thereof? Book a free consultation with Certified Sex Therapist Heather Shannon or someone from her team! Click here to start. Episode Summary Heather discusses the 5 common emotional mistakes that can negatively impact a couple's sex life. She emphasizes the importance of understanding emotional dynamics rather than focusing solely on physical aspects of intimacy. The conversation covers common pitfalls such as taking a partner's lack of desire personally, moralizing around sex, recognizing emotional wounds, and the expectations surrounding sex in relationships. Heather encourages couples to foster empathy, curiosity, and open communication to enhance their emotional and sexual connection. Chapters 00:00 Understanding Emotional Mistakes in Sex Life 02:05 Taking Desire Personally: A Common Misconception 05:35 Blaming and Moralizing: The Impact on Relationships 10:46 Lack of Empathy for Sexual Wounds 15:11 Expecting Sex as an Obligation 20:35 The Honeymoon Phase: Unmasking Real Issues Keywords emotional mistakes, sex life, relationship advice, intimacy, sexual desire, communication, emotional wounds, libido, sexual health, couples therapy This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

Looking to improve sex and intimacy? Find the right coach or therapist for you here - Book A Free Consultation In this episode, Heather Shannon and Doc Yu Roc (Dr. Yulinda Rahman) explore the therapeutic use of BDSM, discussing how trauma is stored in the body and the importance of intersectionality in healing. They delve into the power dynamics present in everyday life and how understanding these can aid in personal growth. Doc Yu Roc shares insights on the Kink Professional Standards Alliance and the therapeutic potential of kink, emphasizing the need for intentionality and awareness in BDSM practices. Heather and Yulinda also discuss the importance of knowing and expressing your personal boundaries for feeling safe in your body and having positive kink experiences. Find Out More About Dr. Rahman (DocYuRoc) and her programs! General Website: https://docyuroc.org/ Ecosystem Of Excellence: https://ecosystemofexcellence.org/ Chapters 0:00 Intro 2:53 Therapeutic Use Of BDSM 6:03 Understanding Body Based Trauma 9:02 Reconnecting With The Body 12:00 Exploring Kink & Sensation 15:03 Therapeutic Benefits 18:02 Healing Through Touch And Sensation 21:54 Understanding Power Dynamics 25:22 The Importance Of Awareness In Power Dynamics 28:39 Exploring Intersectionality 31:59 A New Approach To Healing 38:56 Resources For Learning More View the video version of this episode at https://youtu.be/avOmaFbntg0 KeywordsBDSM, trauma, intersectionality, power dynamics, therapeutic kink, King Professional Standards Alliance, healing, intentionality, awareness, body-based trauma This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

Looking to get out of your sex rut? Book a free consultation with a member of the Ask A Sex Therapist coaching team! https://form.jotform.com/253156356665060 AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and host Heather Shannon speaks with Naturopathic Doctor Jordin Wiggins about the challenges faced by high achieving women in their intimate relationships. In particular, Jordin share how women's "supertraits" can lead to burnout and hinder their ability to connect emotionally. The discussion covers the importance of understanding emotional needs, setting boundaries, and recognizing coercive control in relationships. Jordin emphasizes the need for self-care and the prioritization of pleasure in both personal and sexual life, offering insights into how women can learn to receive and create fulfilling relationships. Find out more about Dr. Jordin Wiggins and her work with Supertraits here: https://www.thepleasurecollective.com/education Follow Dr. Jordin Wiggins on IG - https://www.instagram.com/drjordinwiggins/ Chapters 00:00 Introduction to High Achieving Women and Pleasure 02:34 Understanding Burnout and the Pleasure Problem 05:27 Super Traits and Their Impact on Relationships 08:08 The Connection Between Childhood and Adult Relationships 10:43 Navigating Boundaries and Emotional Safety 13:27 The Role of Sensitivity and Empathy 16:05 The Importance of Emotional Needs in Relationships 18:42 The Messy Middle of Change 21:15 Learning to Receive and Shift Dynamics 23:37 Creating a Pleasure-Centered Life 31:44 Navigating Life's Pleasures and Challenges 33:38 The Cultural Disconnect from Pleasure 35:46 The Shift Towards a Pleasure-Centered Life 37:42 Understanding Power Dynamics in Relationships 39:55 The Impact of Coercive Control 45:54 Transforming Sexual Relationships 53:44 Finding Support and Resources 58:32 Embracing Change and Vulnerability Check out the video version of this episode on YouTube at: https://youtu.be/bWUnwluNffI Keywords pleasure, high achieving women, super traits, burnout, intimacy, relationships, emotional needs, coercive control, self-care, sexual health This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

If sex is feeling stressful, book a free Unlock Your Passion call with Heather to find out about her Pathway to Passion coaching program. https://HeatherShannon.co. In this episode, Heather introduces Kristin Vyas, a sex and intimacy coach who has joined the Ask A Sex Therapist team. Kristen shares the top sex issues she sees with clients including erectile dysfunction, mismatched libidos and shame around kinks. Heather and Kristen discuss the impact of societal pressures on masculinity. They talk about the importance of open communication about kinks and desires, the role of anxiety in sexual performance, and the necessity of ongoing sex education. The conversation emphasizes the importance of viewing yourself and your partner as a whole person. Learn why curiosity and understanding in relationships can be your secret weapon to a great sex life and start redefining sexual experiences beyond traditional norms. Chapters 00:00 Introduction of Kristin Vyas 01:00 Understanding Erectile Dysfunction 02:41 Redefining Pleasure and Connection 05:47 The Role of Anxiety in Sexual Performance 06:51 The Power of Thoughts in Sexual Experiences 09:18 The Impact of Adult Content on Sexual Expectations 11:56 The Importance of Ongoing Sex Education 15:28 Exploring Kinks and Shame 19:04 The Need for Acceptance in Kink 20:38 Common Kinks and Societal Pressures 23:02 The Pressure on Men in Sexual Relationships 26:11 Exploring Sexuality Beyond Labels 27:38 The Evolution of Sex Education 29:47 The Importance of Communication in Relationships 32:50 Understanding Boundaries and Safety 35:56 Navigating Kinks and Preferences 41:13 The Complexity of Desire 45:53 Rediscovering Core Desires 48:34 Curiosity and Empathy in Relationships Keywords erectile dysfunction, sex therapy, intimacy coaching, sexual health, kink, communication, consent, masculinity, sexual desire, sex education This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

Certified Sex Therapist Heather Shannon discusses ethical non-monogamy, addressing common fears, misconceptions, and the various forms it can take. She emphasizes the importance of timing, communication, and setting boundaries in non-monogamous relationships. The conversation also explores the emotional complexities involved, including jealousy and compersion, and how non-monogamy can serve as a means for individuals to explore their sexuality and identity. Book a free consultation with a coach or therapist from the Ask A Sex Therapist team --> https://form.jotform.com/253156356665060 Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Ethical Non-Monogamy 02:38 Common Fears and Misconceptions 05:26 Understanding Different Types of Non-Monogamy 07:53 Timing and Relationship Readiness 10:46 Setting Boundaries and Parameters 13:31 Navigating Jealousy and Compersion 15:46 The Emotional Work of Non-Monogamy 18:38 Exploring Sexuality and Identity 21:25 Conclusion and Final Thoughts Keywords ethical non-monogamy, polyamory, open relationships, jealousy, boundaries, compersion, relationship advice, sexuality, emotional work, communication This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

Tap into your sexual creativity and get past fear and repression. Embrace your darker fantasies without having to make them real! Certified Sex Therapist & Host, Heather Shannon, interviews guest Bria Rose about her journey from working at Disney to becoming a successful author of dark, sexy fairy tales. She discusses the importance of exploring fantasies through fiction, and her personal journey towards sex positivity. Bria emphasizes the significance of communication in relationships and the need for sexual compatibility. She also shares insights on character creation, overcoming writer's block, and the role of inspiration in sexy writing. The conversation concludes with Bria's advice on navigating relationships and where to find her work. Chapters 00:00 From Disney to Dark Fairy Tales 02:42 Exploring Morality in Storytelling 05:32 The Role of Fantasy in Healing 08:30 Sex Positivity and Personal Growth 10:30 Character Development in Dark Romance 13:20 Reimagining Classic Tales As Dark, Sexy Ones 16:14 Feminism and Modern Storytelling 21:53 Exploring Character Dynamics in Fiction 25:30 Generating Sexy Ideas and Finding Inspiration 28:25 The Importance of Communication in Relationships 34:10 Navigating Personal Growth and Relationship Dynamics 38:34 Creating Characters and Their Therapeutic Journeys Keywords Bria Rose, dark fairy tales, Disney fan fiction, storytelling, morality, erotic novels, sex positivity, character creation, relationships, communication, romance novels, romantasy, sexy books, dark sexual fantasies, sex and healing This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

Learn about Dr. Jack Morin's equation for sexual desire and how you can make that equation work more in your favor! One of the most common things we all want in our sex lives is feeling wanted. And yet it can be elusive! Even when we have mutual physical attraction with our partner, it doesn't always spark sexual desire. Listen in to learn why feeling wanted is important to us, how we feel affected when we don't feel desired and a few things we can do for our partner and for ourselves to turn up the volume on sexual desire. Book A Free Consultation with Heather or one of her team members Keywords belonging, connection, attraction, desire, specialness, relationships, emotional needs, human connection, self-worth, intimacy This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

This week on Ask A Sex Therapist, we explore how aligning with your authentic feminine energy can transform not only your confidence but your sex life. With the help of Inna Segal, an intuitive energy healer and award-winning author of The Secret Language Of Your Body, we break down how polarity builds sexual attraction, why balance within is magnetic, and how shifting your energy can reignite that spark in your relationship. Check out the video version of this episode at https://youtu.be/V98D5jC5_Yo Find out more about intimacy coaching with Heather and her team at https://HeatherShannon.co Learn more about Inna Segal's books and programs at: https://www.innasegal.com/ Chapters 0:00 - About the episode 1:37 - Inna Segal (guest) 9:21 - The importance of feminine energy 14:51 - The importance of sexuality related to age 20:36 - How to have a good sex life with your partner 24:44 - Color as a way to explore your feminine energy 32:16 - Teaching the feminine love 40:16 - Reconnecting with feminine energy after a breakup or divorce 51:21 - Ways to embrace the feminine 59: 18 - Healing with Inna's heart-based card deck Keywords creativity, self-discovery, societal expectations, personal growth, emotional expression, sex therapist, energy healer, intuitive healing, best selling author, award winning author, color therapy This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

Certified Sex Therapist answers questions about strap-ons for double penetration, managing mismatched sex drives, psychological erection issues, and the importance of emotional intimacy in relationships. Heather provides insights and advice on how to navigate these personal challenges, emphasizing communication and mindfulness as key tools for improving sexual health and relationship satisfaction. Chapters00:00 Listener Q&A Introduction 00:27 Exploring Double Penetration with Strap-Ons 05:07 Navigating Mismatched Sex Drives 12:36 Understanding Psychological Erection Issues 19:50 Reclaiming Sexual Desire in Long-Term Relationships KeywordsHeather Shannon, listener Q&A, double penetration, sex drives, sex questions, libido, erection issues, performance anxiety, emotional intimacy, improve communication, mindfulness, sex therapy, sex education, podcast, Ask A Sex Therapist This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

Stop feeling like roommates and start feeling like lovers again! Figure out how you fell into this rut and how to change up your patterns. This solo episode gets into the themes of social dynamics, charisma, and embracing healthy obstacles as a good thing for sexual attraction. Host and Certified Sex Therapist Heather Shannon discusses the importance of healthy boundaries, having your own thing going on and putting your best foot forward no matter how long you've been togehter. She also explores the allure of open relationships, emphasizing the excitement that comes from seeing a partner embrace their sexuality and the dynamics of attraction involved. Join the new Intimacy Collective as a Founding Member --> https://heather-shannon.mykajabi.com/offers/aBom4mE2 Watch the video version on YouTube: https://youtu.be/Bp9YZ4e6et4 Chapters 00:00 From Roommates to Lovers: Understanding the Shift 02:30 Creating Attraction: The Equation of Desire 10:05 Seeing Each Other as Sexual Beings 17:10 Solutions to Rekindle Passion 24:25 Creating Polarity and Space in Relationships Takeaways Being social and charismatic can enhance personal interactions.Compliments can boost confidence and encourage social engagement.Flirting can be a playful exploration of attraction.Open relationships can provide new perspectives on partnership.Seeing a partner's sexuality can be a turn-on for some.The idea of attraction from others can enhance relationship dynamics.Embracing one's own sexuality is important for personal growth.Social interactions can lead to deeper connections.Understanding the nuances of attraction is key in relationships.Exploring boundaries in relationships can lead to fulfillment. Keywords social dynamics, charisma, open relationships, sexuality, flirting, compliments, partner attraction This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

Apply for Founding Member status and help shape Heather's new Intimacy Collective program --> https://forms.gle/hyLr3LSoxadrvusM6 EPISODE SUMMARY In this conversation, Shannon Curtis shares her profound journey of healing from sexual trauma, emphasizing the importance of reclaiming personal power, understanding shame, and fostering intimacy. She discusses her experiences with trauma, the role of forgiveness, and the significance of body awareness in healing. Shannon also highlights the need for curiosity in recognizing signs of trauma and the importance of connecting with nature. Through her work, she aims to empower others to find their authentic selves and heal from their past experiences. CHAPTERS 00:00 Introduction to Healing Sexual Trauma 02:00 Shannon's Personal Journey with Trauma 05:58 Understanding Shame and Its Impact 10:08 The Role of Forgiveness in Healing 12:16 Teaching the Next Generation 16:26 The Importance of Body Awareness 19:40 Healing Through Connection with Nature 22:32 The Power of Intuition in Healing 25:33 Finding Your Path to Healing 29:26 The Journey of Self-Discovery 33:41 Reclaiming Power in Relationships 38:22 Recognizing Signs of Trauma 42:58 The Importance of Curiosity in Healing 47:28 How to Work with Shannon Curtis KEYWORDS sexual trauma, healing, intimacy, forgiveness, body awareness, empowerment, personal growth, trauma signs, self-discovery, coaching This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis: Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp