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More schools than ever are taking two weeks off in October, so where does the extra week come from? Dylan explains how his old school swapped INSET days for twilights, why it can cut term-time holidays, and Hayden asks the obvious question about day one safeguarding training. Then it's your school trip stories, and you sent thousands. A Year 3 child leaves a trail through the British Museum and a teacher ends up in Primark buying emergency trousers. An NQT counts 60 kids into the wrong museum. A head teacher puts on gloves to search a sick bucket for a retainer. Two Year 7s lick their way round a botanical garden and end up in A&E. Along the way: when you can actually say no to the toilet on a trip, watching England v Brazil on a coach in 2002, how classes derail lessons on purpose, and why real children's authors might be fed up with celebrity picture books. Join the Teach Sleep Repeat WhatsApp community: https://chat.whatsapp.com/HB7n1PNGdGL5STACssEH1s More from us: www.teachsleeprepeatpodcast.com Instagram: @teachsleeprepeatpodcast Enquiries and sponsorship: [email protected] If the show is useful to you, a rating and a follow genuinely helps more people find it.

It’s nearly the end of Term 1, which means the first parents’ evening of the year, usually when you’re shattered and losing your voice. Dylan and Hayden talk about why it’s still worth doing, what parents actually want to hear (whether their child is happy, not fronted adverbials), and whether teachers should be stricter about keeping to time. Then a quick-fire round: online or in person, one long night or two, 5, 10 or 15 minute slots, chasing no-shows, and whether the child should sit in. In the second half we read out your most unhinged parents’ evening stories. There’s the parent who called a Welsh teacher a nationalist for saying Wales has a capital city, an MFL teacher insulted as a “Europhile”, a parent who doesn’t believe in detention, a five-minute rant aimed at the wrong teacher, and Marjorie, who says hello even though she’s no longer with us. Along the way there’s a row about whether mediums are a con, and Hayden still can’t get over the Nectar card incident. Join the Teach Sleep Repeat WhatsApp community: https://chat.whatsapp.com/HB7n1PNGdGL5STACssEH1s More from us: www.teachsleeprepeatpodcast.comInstagram: @teachsleeprepeatpodcastEnquiries and sponsorship: [email protected] If the show is useful to you, a rating and a follow genuinely helps more people find it.

Hayden plans the episode this week, which means you get a game. He opens with a bedtime story about his nearly-three-year-old that ends with the question no parent wants to hear: “Dad, where am I going to put my bogey?” Then Blind Rank is back by listener request. Dylan has to rank playground duty, parents’ evening, teaching art, the staffroom and one more mystery job without knowing what’s coming next. He gets badly stitched up at number one. Next, Dylan drove past two primary schools on the way to the new office and counted more than a dozen parents vaping on the school run. Is that just normal now? The boys get into what kids pick up from it, vaping in secondary toilets, the generational smoking ban and whether it’s a nanny state, and vapes made to look like highlighters. In the Q&A, a listener asks what you’d buy if you had to stock a brand new school with maths resources from scratch. Dienes, Cuisenaire rods, multilink cubes, real clock faces, plenty of 3D shapes, and the place value sliders you should never pay for. That turns into a proper conversation about using CPA flexibly and the links in maths that actually make a difference. Join the Teach Sleep Repeat WhatsApp community: https://chat.whatsapp.com/HB7n1PNGdGL5STACssEH1s Instagram: @teachsleeprepeatpodcast Enquiries and sponsorship: [email protected] If the show is useful to you, a rating and a follow genuinely helps more people find it.

Hayden is back after one whole week of paternity leave, with a 10-day-old son called Albie (who Dylan has already renamed Albatross). We talk about how much calmer you are second time round, which parenting "rules" turn out not to matter and which ones really do, then get properly stuck into why children are so gross: snot bubbles in Reception, the Year 6 residential room nobody wants to open on day three, and a crisp eaten straight out of the bin. Then your questions. One listener's school has put a twilight, a parents evening and an open evening in the same week. Is that unreasonable? Short answer: yes. We get into directed time, why an open evening should replace something rather than just be added on, and whether teaching really is harder than other jobs. Plus, after our Bridget Phillipson interview, would new Education Secretary Lucy Powell ever come on the show? Lucy, the invite is open. 🐘 Free Maths Zoo arithmetic worksheet generator: tools.mathszoo.app Join the Teach Sleep Repeat WhatsApp community: https://chat.whatsapp.com/HB7n1PNGdGL5STACssEH1s More from us: www.teachsleeprepeatpodcast.com Instagram: @teachsleeprepeatpodcast Enquiries and sponsorship: [email protected] If the show is useful to you, a rating and a follow genuinely helps more people find it.

Once a year we ask you for your school's biggest red flags, and once a year you absolutely bury us. Nearly a thousand comments on Facebook alone, so we've pulled out the worst of them and gone through them one by one. A memo banning anyone below SLT from drinking ground coffee, after a colleague was caught with a filter mug. A member of leadership asking a teacher if she knew what "professional" meant. A skirts-only school that told an NQT to leave the interview there and then if she'd rather wear trousers. An open plan school with no staff room and hot desking, which sets Dylan off on private schools, class sizes and what the people with actual money choose to do. Staples that had to match the backing paper, coloured in with permanent pen. A fire alarm set off to stop a lunchtime union meeting. Five compulsory parent phone calls a week, logged in three places, because nobody wants to pay for an attendance officer. A suit jacket rule enforced on a woman eight months pregnant. Being told to call the children "clients". And a school where teachers weren't allowed a sip of water in front of a class. Somewhere in the middle of it Hayden runs a riled-up meter on Dylan and gets him from a two to a nine, and there's some baby news too. Fair warning, the language gets away from us on this one. Free Maths Zoo arithmetic worksheet generator: tools.mathszoo.appJoin the Whatsapp Community: https://chat.whatsapp.com/HB7n1PNGdGL5STACssEH1s

🧮 Free for school staff: generate arithmetic worksheets in seconds at tools.mathszoo.app England has just landed in the world's top ten for reading, maths and science. Good news, surely? Dylan and Hayden are not so sure, because the same PISA results show reading ability falling off a cliff worldwide, and the countries where children use AI the most are falling behind the fastest. Here's the article: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cvgy6n0l4rdo First, though, it is episode one from the new office, complete with a slight echo and a metal works next door. Dylan is fresh off a sleeper train to Edinburgh (think bunk beds, a shower that doubles as the toilet, and a mate who is six foot three), and he has some explaining to do about that Scottish teacher pay post that got a few people worked up. Then two listener questions. With AI able to manipulate images, should schools stop publishing pupil photos altogether? And which subject did each of them love teaching far more than they expected? Hayden's answer says a lot about what league tables miss. Dylan's ends up in a confession about marking writing without actually reading it. Honest, a bit echoey, and back in business. 🎧 New episodes every week. Leave us a review if you enjoy the show! 🔢 Want to boost maths fluency in your school? Book a free Maths Zoo trial at www.mathszoo.org 💬 Join our completely free WhatsApp community and connect with teachers from across the UK: https://chat.whatsapp.com/HB7n1PNGdGL5STACssEH1s

🧮 Free for school staff: generate arithmetic worksheets in seconds at tools.mathszoo.app One day into the new year, and a listener is already drained. Not the big stuff. The whispering, the fiddling, the constant "low level" disruption that never quite stops. She doesn't want to moan all year, but it's looking that way. Hayden has a story about the one thing a leader said to him that made stop-start teaching feel like the right call, and both lads are clear that "low level" is the wrong name for it. Before that, some news. Dylan and Hayden are moving into an office, which is not the same as buying a flat together, whatever Instagram decided. They talk candidly about a year of working from home, cabin fever, and why no combination of teaching, business and podcast has ever felt perfect. Also this week: a Jen Foster post on what to ask instead of "how was your summer?", and why the "just get over it" crowd wind Dylan up. A holiday poll (six weeks, or four plus two-week breaks all year?). And Dylan's worry that AI lesson generators are pushing "save time" ahead of "good lesson", with Hayden pushing back. Plus the eternal question: is there anything wrong with sending emails at 8pm? Honest, funny, and a proper first-week-back listen. 🎧 New episodes every week. Leave us a review if you enjoy the show!🔢 Want to boost maths fluency in your school? Book a free Maths Zoo trial at www.mathszoo.org💬 Join our completely free WhatsApp community and connect with teachers from across the UK: https://chat.whatsapp.com/HB7n1PNGdGL5STACssEH1s

🧮 Free for school staff: generate arithmetic worksheets in seconds at tools.mathszoo.app An ECT one week in, a class sat well below the expected level, and a head already spinning with schemes, planning and new information. What do you actually say to them? Season 5 opens with a full back to school Q&A. Hayden defends the horseshoe seating plan, and Dylan has to break it to him that what he ran for years was, in fact, a staple. From there it turns properly useful: mixed attainment seating, whether pairing your high attainers with your low attainers every single day is really helping either of them, and the moment a child offered to hand out the support sheets and reeled off exactly the right six names. Then the ideal INSET day, which mostly means giving staff the time and putting the sugar paper away. When normal lessons should resume. Icebreakers and register games that genuinely work. And a new senior leader asking how to deliver the SIP in September without flattening everyone, which leads to a change policy most schools should probably steal. Honest, funny, and timed for the walk in on Tuesday morning. 🎧 New episodes every week. Leave us a review if you enjoy the show!🔢 Want to boost maths fluency in your school? Book a free Maths Zoo trial at www.mathszoo.org💬 Join our completely free WhatsApp community and connect with teachers from across the UK: https://chat.whatsapp.com/HB7n1PNGdGL5STACssEH1s

🧮 Free for school staff: generate arithmetic worksheets in seconds at tools.mathszoo.app Five weeks of rehearsals. Year Six production. Opening night a few hours away. And then the head teacher decides the children cannot stand on the benches, for health and safety reasons. The same benches the school uses for bench ball. Before that, a cracking question from a newly qualified teacher whose university swapped the 5,000 word essay for a shorter portfolio and a recorded presentation. Could schools do something similar? Dylan and Hayden get into timed reading comprehension, why pace is weighted so heavily, and the trap of fixing assessment for one group by quietly breaking it for another. There is also a listener asking whether they would have a Reform politician on the show. That one turns into an honest conversation about platforming, accountability and where the line actually sits. Honest, funny, and a gentle way back in before September. 🎧 New episodes every week. Leave us a review if you enjoy the show!🔢 Want to boost maths fluency in your school? Book a free Maths Zoo trial at www.mathszoo.org💬 Join our completely free WhatsApp community and connect with teachers from across the UK: https://chat.whatsapp.com/HB7n1PNGdGL5STACssEH1s

🧮 Free for school staff: generate arithmetic worksheets in seconds at tools.mathszoo.app A Year 1 teacher has been told her school is bringing in continuous provision from September, and she is quietly worried her class will not be where they should be by July. Dylan and Hayden take that worry seriously, because badly implemented provision is a real risk. Then they ask the harder question. Where does "where they should be" actually come from, and who decided it? That spirals into knives and forks, shoelaces and shared responsibility, and where the line sits between what a school should help with and what it genuinely cannot take on. Hayden also gets asked when Halloween is. It goes about as well as you would expect, and there is now a poll. Elsewhere, honest assembly tips including the one thing their old head did every single day without fail, and a straight answer on why Wednesday episodes disappeared. Then the big one. Andy Burnham's new technical routes for Year 10, and why both hosts want it to work but are braced for schools to game it. Honest, funny, and a proper end of summer listen. 🎧 New episodes every week. Leave us a review if you enjoy the show! 🔢 Want to boost maths fluency in your school? Book a free Maths Zoo trial at www.mathszoo.org 💬 Join our completely free WhatsApp community and connect with teachers from across the UK: https://chat.whatsapp.com/HB7n1PNGdGL5STACssEH1s

Hayden turns up in a Nike sweatband, insists it is not cosplay, and claims his paddle sponsorship money is not far off Tiger Woods territory. It goes downhill from there. Dylan sets a test to work out exactly which decade Hayden's sports knowledge stopped in, then gives listeners a guided tour of the podcast room, recently tidied in the loosest possible sense of the word. Five things you can see, including a box from a school Dylan left roughly eight years ago. There is also a confession involving a games controller, a pair of scissors and a level of competitiveness that arguably should have flagged on a DBS check. Then it turns properly honest. A year on from leaving the classroom, the lads are weighing up renting an office space, with a baby six weeks away and a decision needed that day. They are genuinely split, and they want your take. Daft, honest, and a proper break from the to do list. 🎧 New episodes every week. Leave us a review if you enjoy the show! 🔢 Want to boost maths fluency in your school? Book a free Maths Zoo trial at www.mathszoo.org 💬 Join our completely free WhatsApp community and connect with teachers from across the UK: https://chat.whatsapp.com/HB7n1PNGdGL5STACssEH1s

Dylan spent half a wedding being blamed for something he definitely did not do, and there were witnesses. It is a strong opening to a Q&A that gets serious surprisingly fast. A listener kicks things off by challenging Hayden to trigger Dylan in the shortest possible time. The broken oven, the door handle, the garden. Only one line actually lands. Then the big one. Is school leadership genuinely incompatible with having young children? Dylan makes the case that the job was built around a household model that stopped existing sixty years ago, and explains why that shows up in exactly who ends up applying for leadership roles. An English lead asks whether English is a bigger subject to lead than maths, and whether the TLR should say so. Lucy wants to know if her PPA actually hits ten per cent, and the maths is worth doing on your own timetable. Harrison asks about Forest School, which turns into something much bigger about school refusers and what school is even for. And James, newly qualified with eleven years of teaching behind him, keeps being told his experience abroad does not count. Honest, funny, and a bit spikier than your average mailbag. 🎧 New episodes every week. Leave us a review if you enjoy the show! 🧮 Free for school staff: generate arithmetic worksheets in seconds at tools.mathszoo.app 🔢 Want to boost maths fluency in your school? Book a free Maths Zoo trial at www.mathszoo.org 💬 Join our completely free WhatsApp community and connect with teachers from across the UK: https://chat.whatsapp.com/HB7n1PNGdGL5STACssEH1s

🧮 Free for school staff: generate arithmetic worksheets in seconds at tools.mathszoo.app Bridget Phillipson is out, Lucy Powell is in, and most teachers could not pick her out of a lineup. So this is the crash course. Moss Side, state educated all the way, a year reading chemistry at Oxford before she walked away from it, a family full of teachers, and her own children at the primary she went to herself. Then the harder question. Does "her mum was a headteacher" actually count as experience in education? Dylan is not having it. And should working in a school be a flat prerequisite for the job? Hayden lands somewhere the internet will hate, and Dylan surprises himself by agreeing with him. Her record is plain to see. Anti academisation, primary SPaG tests called ridiculous, league tables and Progress 8 taken apart. Dylan makes a prediction about how much of that survives contact with the Treasury. Sceptical, hopeful, and worth a listen before you make your mind up about her. 🎧 New episodes every week. Leave us a review if you enjoy the show!🔢 Want to boost maths fluency in your school? Book a free Maths Zoo trial at www.mathszoo.org💬 Join our completely free WhatsApp community and connect with teachers from across the UK: https://chat.whatsapp.com/HB7n1PNGdGL5STACssEH1s

🧮 Free for school staff: generate arithmetic worksheets in seconds at tools.mathszoo.app Seven sessions. That is how much rehearsal time one Year 6 team was given for their end of year production, after leadership insisted English and maths carried on every single day. Hayden, who has run more than a few of these, has a fairly clear view on where that ends up. That question from Izzy opens the episode and it goes well beyond jazz hands. What actually happens to the curriculum in production season, what the other seventy odd children are doing while the leads rehearse, and the uncomfortable truth about the one person quietly working every evening to make the whole thing exist. Dylan and Hayden talk about what schools could reasonably offer that person in return. Then it is school trips and enrichment, where Dylan gets properly wound up about the maths behind the latest pay award and what the people asking for more enrichment are actually funding. There is also a question about what you cared about as an NQT and have since let go, PPA from home and why it should always be a choice, and the summer holiday debate that returns every July like clockwork. Honest, funny, and exactly the episode for anyone limping over the finish line. 🎧 New episodes every week. Leave us a review if you enjoy the show!🔢 Want to boost maths fluency in your school? Book a free Maths Zoo trial at www.mathszoo.org💬 Join our completely free WhatsApp community and connect with teachers from across the UK: https://chat.whatsapp.com/HB7n1PNGdGL5STACssEH1s

🧮 Free for school staff: generate arithmetic worksheets in seconds at tools.mathszoo.app A second year teacher writes in wanting to know when everything you have to do in a day finally becomes manageable. Dylan opens with some news she probably did not want to hear, and then turns it into something genuinely useful about the difference between getting faster at your job and quietly deciding what is no longer worth doing at all. That leads into what Dylan would actually bring in if he were a head teacher, including a one in one out rule on workload and a school with no written marking policy whatsoever. Hayden puts the head teacher's real fear straight back to him. If nothing is written in the books, how do you know any of it is happening? Then the big one, and the one Dylan gets most fired up about. Is it fair that ECTs get paid thousands less for a job that looks almost identical? Dylan thinks the entire pay scale is built on the wrong idea, and he has a full replacement in mind. Plus Tom asks which school rule would cause complete societal collapse if applied to adults, and the pair finish with an honest, surprisingly nuanced conversation about private schools, class sizes and privilege. Honest, funny, and a bit spikier than usual once money comes up. 🎧 New episodes every week. Leave us a review if you enjoy the show!🔢 Want to boost maths fluency in your school? Book a free Maths Zoo trial at www.mathszoo.org💬 Join our completely free WhatsApp community and connect with teachers from across the UK: https://chat.whatsapp.com/HB7n1PNGdGL5STACssEH1s