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#166: On today's episode, Han is joined by psychologist Dr. Jacob Ambrose for a conversation about ADHD, neurodivergence, complex trauma, dating, attachment styles, trauma responses, and why healing often requires us to get deeply uncomfortable. Dr. Jacob explains how growing up feeling different, misunderstood, or repeatedly rejected can shape our identity, our ability to form relationships, and the way we behave when we start dating someone we actually care about. He and Han break down anxious vs. avoidant attachment, why some of us become desperate for closeness while others instinctively pull away, and what people on either side of that spectrum can actually do differently when dating and building healthy relationships. They also talk about why people with ADHD and complex trauma may experience limerence or obsessive relationship patterns, feel chronically unseen, end up in unhealthy or toxic relationships, or struggle to know when they should actually trust their gut. Dr. Jacob and Han also unpack intellectualizing your emotions, the difference between understanding your patterns and actually changing them, and one of the hardest questions that can come up during the healing process: What is actually me, and what is a trauma response? We get into: ADHD, neurodivergence, and growing up feeling differentHow repeated micro-rejections can impact identity and self-worthMissed ADHD, depression, shame, and feeling misunderstoodDating and forming relationships with complex traumaAnxious vs. avoidant attachment in datingWhy anxious attachment can make us desperate for closenessWhy avoidant attachment can make us pull away when intimacy increasesWhat anxious and avoidant people can actually do differently when datingWhat is limerance?Why people with complex trauma can feel chronically unseenWhy complex trauma can make it difficult to trust your gutThe cost of intellectualizing your emotions instead of feeling themWhy understanding your trauma isn’t always the same thing as healing itWhat’s authentically you vs. what may be a trauma responseWhy healing and self-growth require discomfortCreating healthier experiences of love, intimacy, and connection& MORE! This episode is for you if you have ADHD or identify as neurodivergent, are dating or trying to form healthier relationships while healing complex trauma, struggle with anxious or avoidant attachment, or are trying to understand what is authentically you versus what may be a trauma response. CONNECT BELOW: Follow Dr Jacob ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Work with Dr Jacob here Listen to his podcast Two Dudes Talking Therapy here CONNECT with HAN: Follow Han ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow HOW I SEE IT ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Han on Substack ⁠⁠here⁠⁠ Watch HOW I SEE IT on YouTube ⁠⁠here⁠⁠ Shop the podcast merch ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Work with Han: [email protected]

#165: On today's episode, Han is joined by actress, comedian, creator, and the podcast host of Life's A Joke, Christina Kirkman, for a conversation about therapy, burnout, perfectionism, killing your ego, letting go of control, and learning to trust the unfolding of your life. Christina opens up about how she entered the entertainment industry, and how her relationship with expressing herself started, evolved, and has grown. She and Han talk about starting therapy, and the grief that can come with healing. They also get into using work, creativity, and humor to cope, what happens when burnout catches up with even the most driven people, and why sometimes the biggest shift comes from loosening your grip on the life you thought you were supposed to have. Christina shares how she reached a point where the version of success she had been chasing stopped working, forcing her to kill her ego, start showing up online, and allow her creativity to evolve into something she never originally planned for. The girls get into: Growing up in entertainment and Christina’s early start on All That How our relationship with self-expression changes as we get older Starting therapy, and the grief that can come with healing Why therapy can hurt before it starts to feel freeing Perfectionism, ambition, and the inability to admit defeat Why burnout eventually catches up with even the most driven people Using work and creativity to cope with what’s happening underneath Humor as both a coping mechanism and survival tactic Why you can’t outrun your triggers or your own mind Killing your ego and surrendering the version of success you thought you were supposed to have Letting go of control and allowing life to unfold differently than you planned What happened when Christina stopped trying to be the version of herself Hollywood wanted Building an influencing and creator career she never originally planned for Following life’s calling instead of gripping onto your own definition of success Why violating your authenticity eventually shows up in your body, mind, and spirit Reconciling with the fact that you may not get to do everything you dreamed of Following your whimsy and trusting where it leads This episode is for you if: You’ve always been driven, ambitious, or deeply attached to a certain version of what your life and success were supposed to look like. If you’re navigating burnout, learning how to loosen your grip on control, grieving old versions of yourself, or realizing that the path you planned may not actually be the one meant for you, this conversation is for you. CONNECT BELOW: Follow Christina ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Life's A Joke ⁠here⁠ Listen to Life's A Joke here CONNECT with HAN: Follow Han ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow HOW I SEE IT ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Han on Substack ⁠here⁠ Watch HOW I SEE IT on YouTube ⁠here⁠ Shop the podcast merch ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Work with Han: [email protected]

#164: On today’s solo episode, Han is back from New York Fashion Week, after making some really expensive entrepreneurial mistakes and leaving New York feeling more disillusioned with the influencer industry than ever. Han is popping the bubble on the things we put on pedestals and questioning everything we've been taught to believe about success. We all have these imaginary markers of success. The things we convince ourselves we need to achieve, the rooms we think we need to be in, and the milestones we assume will finally make us feel like we've made it. But how much of what we're chasing is what we genuinely want, and how much of it is simply what we've been taught successful people are supposed to want? From the realities of influencer culture to confronting her own desire for fame, Han gets honest about the expectations we create for ourselves, the relationship between ego and ambition, and what happens when the things we've spent years putting on pedestals turn out to be very different from what we imagined. Han gets into: The expensive entrepreneurial mistakes she made during New York Fashion Week (including hiring PR) Popping the bubble on the things we put on pedestals in our careers The imaginary markers of success we create in our heads Why we equate certain achievements, recognition, and status with having "made it" The realities of influencer culture and why followers don't equal money Wanting to be famous and the deeper desire to feel seen and heard The relationship between ego, ambition, and external validation The difference between making a mistake and letting effect your perception on your self worth Questioning whether you're chasing what you genuinely want or what you've been taught to want Redefining success without giving up your ambition & MORE! This episode is for: The highly ambitious women navigating entrepreneurship, self-worth, and the uncomfortable parts of the healing journey that force us to confront our own ego. For anyone questioning what success actually looks like for them, learning to separate their self-worth from their accomplishments, or realizing that the life they've been working so hard to build might not actually be the life they want. Episode Chapters: 00:00 New York chewed me up and spit me out 04:07 The reality of influencer culture 06:55 My expensive entrepreneurial mistakes 09:16 Are we chasing the wrong things? 12:23 Fame, ego, and wanting to be seen 23:07 Making mistakes vs. having regrets CONNECT with HAN: follow Han ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow HOW I SEE IT ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Han on Substack ⁠here⁠ watch HOW I SEE IT on YouTube ⁠here⁠ shop the podcast merch ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ work with Han: [email protected]

#163: On today’s episode, Serena Kerrigan, founder of Let’s F****g Date and author of Let’s F****g Date: Become the Prize, Enjoy the Ride, and Never Settle Again, jumps on the podcast to talk about dating, self-worth, situationships, confidence, boundaries, and what it actually takes to stop trying to earn love. Serena gets incredibly honest about her own healing journey, the childhood wounds that followed her into her adult relationships, and the core wound underneath the over-the-top, performative version of herself she became known for. She opens up about building an entire brand around confidence and dating while privately struggling to believe she was deserving of a healthy relationship, and what finally forced her to look at the parts of herself she had spent years avoiding. The girls unpack how our wounds shape the way we date, the relationships we choose, and the versions of ourselves we become in an attempt to feel loved. The girls get into: Why trying to earn love can keep us attracted to people who reinforce what we already believe about ourselves How she leaned on an over-the-top, performative version of yourself as a form of protection—and what was really underneath “Serena F*****g Kerrigan” The difference between being afraid of being alone and being afraid of actually being loved Serena’s equine therapy experience and the moment she realized there were things she still wasn’t fully dealing with Confidence vs. performance, and why being wildly confident in your career doesn’t mean you won’t self-abandon in relationships Why chaos, volatility, inconsistency, and the push-pull dynamic can feel like chemistry when your core wound is rooted in earning and seeking love Situationships, ghosting, dating boundaries, and why Serena believes follow-through matters more than overanalyzing someone’s behavior What it looks like to date from abundance rather than scarcity and the fear that there are “no good men left” Why “nice guys finish last” is terrible dating advice—and why kindness and consistency should be the bare minimum The pressure of the biological clock, the fear of running out of time, and why settling for the wrong relationship can cost you more in the long run The difference between wanting a boyfriend and actually waiting for your person The importance in addressing your past trauma, pursuing healing, and taking action even when its uncomfortable & MORE This episode is for you if you keep repeating the same dating patterns and don’t understand why; you’ve ever felt like you had to become a bigger, louder, more confident version of yourself to feel worthy; or you’ve confused chasing someone with chemistry. It’s for you if you’re ready to stop trying to earn love and start choosing relationships from self-worth. CONNECT BELOW: Follow Serena here Buy Serena’s book here CONNECT with HAN: follow Han ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow HOW I SEE IT ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Han on Substack ⁠here⁠ watch HOW I SEE IT on YouTube ⁠here⁠ shop the podcast merch ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ work with Han: [email protected]

#162: On today’s episode, Jade Beguelin and Sabrina Sade, co-founders of 4AM, join me to talk about entrepreneurship, resilience, overcoming fear of failure, managing anxiety, trusting yourself, and continuing to build even when you have no guarantee it’s going to work. After five years of building 4AM, Jade and Sabrina recently launched their skincare brand across over 1700 Target locations and raised over $4 million, but only weeks before launching Clean Sheets, they were having very real conversations about whether it would even work out! We talk about moving the needle even in uncertainty, the illusion of the  “overnight success”, the mindset shifts that helped them keep going, and what it takes mentally and emotionally to pursue an ambitious life when there is constantly something on the line. The girls get into: The five years behind 4AM’s success Building a business when you don’t know if it’s going to work What it truly means to “fail" Overcoming fear of failure and making imperfect decisions Managing anxiety in high-pressure situations Raising $4M while preparing for a major Target launch Building resilience when entrepreneurship starts to feel overwhelming Learning whose criticism actually deserves your attention Why other people’s negativity is often projection Signs it’s time to leave your corporate jobDeveloping self-trust when other people don’t understand your decisions Why ambitious women have to get comfortable being misunderstood The difference between wanting something and actually doing the work Why there usually isn’t a “secret sauce” to success Taking risks when the safer path no longer feels aligned Giving yourself more without losing your ambition How the girls leveraged Tik Tok as their growth strategyReminders when it comes to prioritizing your health and mental health while building a company & MORE This episode is for anyone pursuing more, building something of their own, navigating anxiety while chasing big goals, questioning whether they should keep going, or learning how to trust themselves through seasons where the outcome still feels uncertain! CONNECT BELOW: Follow Jade here Follow Sabrina here Follow 4am here Shop 4am here CONNECT with HAN: Follow Han ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow HOW I SEE IT ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Han on Substack ⁠here⁠ Watch HOW I SEE IT on YouTube ⁠here⁠ Shop the podcast merch ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Work with Han: [email protected]

#161: On this week's episode, Han sits down with Meg Reynolds, host of Not The Girl Next Door Podcast, for a raw conversation about what it actually looks like to heal loudly, break the relationship patterns we learned in childhood, and finally choose ourselves. Meg opens up about leaving an abusive relationship, and recognizing the patterns that kept pulling her toward emotionally unavailable people. The girls talk about childhood trauma, specifically what it looks like to navigate going no contact with a parent, and why sometimes the strongest expression of self-worth is having enough courage to walk away. The girls get into: What it actually means to heal loudlyWhy silence can keep us stuck in sufferingHealing after an abusive relationshipRepeating unhealthy relationship patternsDating emotionally unavailable peopleHow relationships can mirror our unhealed woundsGoing no contact with a parentWhy no contact is a boundary—not a punishmentSetting boundaries with people you loveRaising your standards in datingWhy women sometimes treat men like projectsWhy your worth is not determined by how much pain you can endureLetting go of the need to fix someoneHaving enough courage to walk away& MORE! This episode is for anyone who is trying to understand their relationship patterns, healing from childhood trauma, struggling to walk away from someone they love, navigating boundaries or no contact with family, or learning that choosing yourself is not the same thing as giving up. CONNECT BELOW: Follow Meg ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Not The Girl Next Door Podcast here CONNECT with HAN: follow Han ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow HOW I SEE IT ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Han on Substack ⁠here⁠ watch HOW I SEE IT on YouTube ⁠here⁠ shop the podcast merch ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ work with Han: [email protected]

#160: On this episode of HOW I SEE IT, Han sits down with content creator, podcast host, and YouTuber Taylor King for a conversation about what it actually looks like to build confidence, bet on yourself, and create a life that feels aligned, through your career, your relationships, your community, and the way you show up for yourself. Taylor and Han talk about why confidence is built through keeping promises to yourself, and why sometimes hearing “no” just means finding another way forward. They get into embracing discomfort, taking risks without making failure feel so high-stakes, and learning to trust that you’ll figure things out along the way. The girls also unpack the nuance between self-acceptance and self-improvement—especially when it comes to body image, beauty, and taking agency over the things that are actually within your control. Taylor shares her experience struggling to post herself online. They also talk about the relationships that have shaped Taylor’s career, why so many opportunities come from simply being someone people trust and feel seen by. Taylor, also, opens up about building a life she loved before finding her relationship. The girls get into: Building confidence by keeping promises to yourselfBetting on yourself even when the outcome isn’t guaranteedWhy hearing “no” doesn’t have to mean you’re on the wrong pathTaking action instead of spiraling when something doesn’t work outWhy discomfort is necessary for growthSelf-acceptance vs. self-improvementBody image, beauty, and taking agency over how you want to look and feelSeparating your appearance from your self-worthBuilding a career through genuine relationships and connectionBuilding the community you want by showing up for other peopleCreating a full life before finding a relationshipWanting a partner without centering your entire life around oneInfluencer icks, relationship hard launches, and what should stay offline& MORE This episode is for anyone who needs a confidence boost, wants to feel inspired to go after their goals, is looking to build stronger community and relationships, is learning how to bet on themselves, or just feels uninspired to bet on themselves. CONNECT BELOW: Follow TK ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Onze here Follow TK on Youtube here CONNECT with HAN: follow Han ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow HOW I SEE IT ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Han on Substack ⁠here⁠ watch HOW I SEE IT on YouTube ⁠here⁠ shop the podcast merch ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ work with Han: [email protected]

#159: On today’s episode, Han jumps on for a SOLO episode all about discipline: how to build success, why discipline is a skill you can actually develop, and how staying present can completely change the way you view discipline as you approach personal growth, success, and your mental health. Han gets into one of the questions she gets asked most: how do you stay so motivated? The truth is, she doesn’t. Motivation comes and goes. But when motivation falters, discipline is something you can learn to rely on. She breaks down why she doesn’t believe disciplined people are simply born that way, why discipline is a skill that can be strengthened and flexed over time, and why so much of building discipline comes down to staying present and learning to keep promises to yourself. Han gets into: Why discipline matters more than motivation How discipline can actually be developed and strengthened over time Why consistency often matters more than talent, intelligence, or qualification Building confidence and self-trust by keeping small promises to yourself Why the promises you make to yourself don’t need to be massive to create meaningful change Creating consistency through small, low-stakes daily actions Why staying present is one of the most important parts of becoming disciplined How constantly thinking about where you “should” be can make it harder to take action The pressure to be more successful, make more money, feel more healed, or be further along than you are Why obsessing over the end goal can actually work against your personal growth How to know where you’re going without thinking about the destination every single day Focusing on what actually moves the needle forward today How small, consistent actions compound over time Adjusting your expectations of what the journey toward success is supposed to look and feel like Learning to trust yourself and the process even when you can’t see immediate results Small ways that Han stays disciplined in her mental health and wellnesss routines & MORE! This episode is for anyone who is struggling to stay consistent, who's procrastinating on taking action, or feeling overwhelmed by how far they still have to go. If you’re working toward becoming more successful, mentally well, confident, disciplined, or simply becoming someone you can rely on, this episode is a reminder to know where you’re going, come back to today, and trust that what you do consistently will compound over time. CONNECT with HAN: follow Han ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow HOW I SEE IT ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Han on Substack ⁠here⁠ watch HOW I SEE IT on YouTube ⁠here⁠ shop the podcast merch ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ work with Han: [email protected] TIMESTAMPS:00:00 — Discipline, Success & Staying Present00:30 — Welcome Back / Feeling Better01:45 — Why I’m Talking About Discipline02:13 — Motivation vs. Discipline03:15 — Discipline Is a Skill You Can Develop03:35 — Why Consistent Action Creates Success04:15 — Building Confidence by Keeping Small Promises04:43 — Why Success Requires Staying Present05:53 — Stop Living in the “Helicopter View”06:11 — Why Obsessing Over the End Goal Makes Discipline Harder07:20 — Daily Action & the Compound Effect08:07 — Changing Your Expectations of the Journey09:26 — Starting Before You Have Everything Figured Out09:46 — Procrastination, Overthinking & Getting Stuck in the Big Picture11:46 — How I Build Discipline in Business12:44 — Structure, Scheduling & Staying Organized13:55 — The Daily To-Do List & Keeping Promises to Yourself17:04 — Discipline in Mental Health & Therapy18:03 — Discipline With Fitness & Physical Health19:37 — Supplements, Skincare & Everyday Commitments21:40 — The Compound Effect Beyond Money22:50 — Anyone Can Build Discipline24:26 — The Real Key: Showing Up for Yourself24:40 — Why Success Is in the Journey, Not the End Goal25:00 — Applying Discipline to Healing, Happiness & Being Present25:31 — Final Thoughts26:01 — Outro

#158: On today’s episode, Han sits down with MJ Gray, content creator and host of the Maneater podcast, as she shares her personal healing journey: discovering the power of her mind and learning how to reprogram the beliefs that had shaped her life. After years of trying to get sober, and living through what she describes as a continuous dark night of the soul, MJ realized sobriety would require more than willpower. MJ and Han unpack manifestation, addiction, childhood trauma, people pleasing, self-love, accountability, decentering men, and why accepting the discomfort of life may be the key to finally finding peace. The girls get into: the power of your mind and reprogramming deeply rooted beliefs and childhood conditioningWhy changing your life can initially feel irrational or delusionalHow addiction and unhealthy coping mechanisms can change formsMJ’s spiritual awakening and relationship with manifestationUsing meditation and mindset to create a different realityHow the expectation to always be happy makes us unhappyTaking accountability for your healing without invalidating your traumaMoving beyond victimhood while maintaining compassion for yourselfLetting go of guilt, jealousy, anger, and self-hatredHealing patterns created by narcissistic or emotionally unhealthy parentsBreaking free from people pleasing and the need to be likedLearning to genuinely love yourself and embrace who you areHow unresolved trauma can recreate familiar relationshipsDecentering men and creating fulfillment outside of relationships& MORE! This episode is for anyone navigating sobriety, childhood trauma, people pleasing, self-doubt, or a difficult mental health journey. It is for the woman learning how to reprogram negative beliefs. TIMESTAMPS: 00:00:00 — Introduction 00:05:32 — Getting existential and questioning everything 00:05:44 — How sobriety led MJ to social media 00:06:18 — The desire to feel seen and understood 00:06:48 — MJ’s sobriety journey 00:07:05 — Experiencing a continuous dark night of the soul 00:09:58 — Why addiction can change forms 00:10:26 — Coping with the discomfort of being human 00:11:17 — Why expecting constant happiness makes us unhappy 00:12:26 — Childhood trauma, victimhood, and personal accountability 00:14:33 — Falling down, trying again, and releasing guilt 00:15:07 — Why guilt can create more self-hatred 00:15:41 — MJ’s spiritual awakening after getting sober 00:16:16 — Discovering meditation and spirituality 00:16:55 — Relapse and discovering the power of the mind 00:17:28 — Applying manifestation and mindset to sobriety 00:17:44 — The day MJ quit drinking and smoking 00:18:12 — Convincing herself she no longer liked alcohol 00:19:03 — Reprogramming beliefs created by a narcissistic parent 00:20:00 — Why transforming your life can feel delusional 00:20:57 — Resetting your childhood programming 00:23:25 — Does MJ care what other people think? 00:24:10 — Why people pleasing never worked 00:24:53 — Self-love, insecurity, and genuinely liking yourself 00:25:19 — Learning to water the lawn you already have 00:25:44 — Releasing the things you cannot control 00:26:07 — Why peace has to begin within you 00:27:13 — Life gets easier to carry 00:28:56 — Where your attention goes, your energy flows 00:29:17 — Moving beyond rumination and self-pity 00:29:35 — Why traumatic patterns can feel like home 00:30:04 — Taking accountability for repeated patterns 00:34:08 — Why women need to start decentering men 00:34:47 — Creating fulfillment outside of relationships 00:35:56 — Loving men without centering them 00:36:12 — The risks women face within relationships 00:36:34 — Expecting romantic partners to add value to your life CONNECT BELOW Follow MJ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow MANEATER here CONNECT with HAN: follow Han ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow HOW I SEE IT ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Han on Substack ⁠here⁠ watch HOW I SEE IT on YouTube ⁠here⁠ work with Han: [email protected]

#157: On today’s episode, Han sits down with Isaac Hindin-Miller, a fashion journalist turned DJ, interviewer, content creator, and founder of I LIKE YOU!, for an honest conversation about external validation, low self-worth, negative self-talk, and the lifelong work of learning how to feel whole within yourself. Isaac and Han unpack the realization that no amount of attention, achievement, access, popularity, or external approval can fill an internal void. They discuss what it actually takes to rebuild your self-esteem, interrupt destructive thought patterns, stop outsourcing your worth, and choose peace and acceptance instead of constantly chasing happiness. They get into: Why external approval can never create lasting self-worthWhy happiness cannot be contingent on external validationChoosing acceptance and peace instead of chasing constant happinessNavigating imposter syndrome and self doubtHow to interrupt cruel and destructive negative self-talkThe problem with finding validation elsewhereDepression, sobriety, and breaking cycles of self-destructive behaviorThe connection between low self-esteem and unhealthy coping mechanisms Social media, comparison, and attaching your value to your workIntellectualizing trauma instead of allowing yourself to feel itWhy understanding your emotions is different from actually feeling themHow choosing a different behavior can lead to a healthier mindsetFinding identity, hobbies, and joy outside of your careerHow relationships act as mirrors for the parts of ourselves that still need healing& MORE! This episode is for anyone who has ever looked outside of themselves for proof that they are worthy, lovable, important, or enough. This is a conversation for those doing the daily work to quiet the voices that tear you down, and learning to build a sense of self-worth that does not depend on attention, accomplishments, or validation. TIMESTAMPS: 00:57 Isaac joins the podcast 04:25 Is the life he dreamed about everything he thought it would be? 05:21 Why reaching the top does not fill the internal void 05:40 The daily work required to feel whole 06:02 Accepting the human condition 06:13 Finding peace within the mundanity of life 06:26 Chasing happiness versus choosing acceptance 06:44 Redefining happiness as peace 07:06 Why happiness cannot be contingent on something happening 07:42 Isaac’s drive to reach the top 08:37 Experiencing bullying and rejection growing up 09:56 Building your self-worth on a foundation of sand 16:02 Growing the I LIKE YOU! parties from 800 to 3,000 people in New York City 16:33 Imposter syndrome, self-doubt, and feeling like a fraud 16:57 Feeling isolated while surrounded by crowds 17:05 The conversation with Isaac’s dad that changed his perspective 17:46 Becoming a victim to your own story 18:07 The danger of constantly thinking about yourself 18:20 Learning to interrupt negative self-talk 19:35 Accepting that the negative voices may never fully disappear 19:59 Moving toward something positive or negative 20:14 Depression and self-destructive coping mechanisms 21:20 Rebuilding self-esteem from within 21:32 The connection between mental health and low self-worth 22:47 Social media, validation, and mental health 23:55 Attaching your personal value to your business 24:42 Sobriety and learning how to feel 27:12 Intellectualizing emotions and suppressing vulnerability 27:52 Understanding yourself versus feeling your emotions 28:28 Changing your behavior to change your mindset 33:51 The importance in finding a hobby 34:53 Having the courage to redefine who you are 48:18 How relationships act as mirrors CONNECT BELOW: Follow Isaac here Follow I Like You here Read Isaac's Substack here CONNECT with HAN: Follow Han ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow HOW I SEE IT ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Han on Substack ⁠here⁠ Watch HOW I SEE IT on YouTube ⁠here⁠ Shop the podcast merch ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Work with Han: [email protected]

#156: This week, Han sits down with Jess Windell, founder of Maven PR and a public relations expert to investigate what it takes to build a foundation of self-trust through acts of courage. Jess and Han have an honest conversation about the psychology behind confidence, courage, risk, productivity, ambition, and creating a life that feels meaningful beyond your career. Jess shares how calling off her wedding four months before it was supposed to happen became the catalyst for nearly every major decision that followed, and taught her that doing the hardest thing can open the door to an entirely different life. The girls get into: Why confidence is the outcome of courageHow taking risks builds self-trustCalling off a wedding when nothing was “wrong,” but it still wasn’t rightWhy comfort can keep you trapped in the wrong lifeLetting go of the timeline and future you plannedNavigating rejection, uncertainty, and unexpected changesManifestation beyond material goalsThe pressure to always be productiveWhy traditional ideas of rest do not work for everyoneSeparating your worth from your career, relationship, or motherhoodCreating a full life before finding a partner or having childrenWhy placing your entire identity into one area of your life can be dangerousAllowing different parts of your life to thrive during different seasonsThe psychology, vulnerability, and human connection behind PRWhy audiences are craving more truth and authenticityHow Jess went from never wanting to own a business to founding Maven ConsultingWhy many businesses are not ready for traditional full-service PRDemocratizing PR and making the industry more accessible& MORE! This episode is for anyone learning how to trust themselves, make a difficult decision, leave something that is comfortable but no longer aligned, or release the pressure to have their entire life figured out. Jess and Han remind us that confidence does not always come before the leap—sometimes, confidence is built by proving to yourself that you are capable of taking it. TIMESTAMPS: 00:53 — Welcome Jess to the podcast 01:07 — The psychology and human connection behind PR 02:40 — Was Jess always confident? 03:32 — Confidence is the outcome of courage 05:30 — Why your life can become better when you take risks 06:45 — How Jess learned to trust herself 07:13 — Calling off her wedding four months before it happened 08:43 — Leaving when nothing is wrong, but it is not right 09:15 — How uncertainty keeps us trapped 09:29 — Getting uncomfortable to find true comfort 11:25 — Discovering a new life on the other side of fear 12:06 — Manifesting the feelings you want to experience 13:30 — Becoming too attached to the life you planned 13:57 — Letting go of control and welcoming change 15:35 — Finding balance within the gray areas 16:05 — Productivity, anxiety, and the pressure to always be doing more 19:12 — Why rest looks different for everyone 22:03 — Would Jess make the same decision nine years later? 23:05 — The conversation around whether women can “have it all” 24:11 — Creating a full life outside of a partner and children 24:43 — Why your entire identity cannot live in one area 25:22 — Nothing in life will be a 10 out of 10 all the time 27:08 — Understanding the different seasons of life 29:02 — Why Jess never planned to start a business 29:40 — Her desire to transform the PR industry 30:00 — Building an in-house PR team at Perfect Bar 31:30 — Earning a seat at the table 34:10 — The meaning behind the name Maven 36:00 — Why audiences are craving truth and vulnerability 38:32 — Why Jess turns away potential clients 39:20 — Democratizing and demystifying PR CONNECT BELOW: follow Jess ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ check out Jess's PR program Catalyst here CONNECT with HAN: follow Han ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow HOW I SEE IT ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Han on Substack ⁠here⁠ watch HOW I SEE IT on YouTube ⁠here⁠ shop the podcast merch ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ work with Han: [email protected]

#155: On today’s episode, Han sits down with actress, founder, and breast cancer survivor Miranda McKeon for a conversation around mental health, grief, identity, and what it means to surrender. At 19 years old, Miranda had just come off the Netflix series Anne with an E when she discovered a small lump in her breast. She quickly was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer. Miranda and Han explore how trauma changes your relationship with mental health, and how Miranda reclaimed a sense of agency. The girls get into: Being diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer and how she navigated eight rounds of chemotherapy, a double mastectomy, and 25 rounds of radiationThe mental, physical, and spiritual toll of cancer treatmentThe grief that comes when the future you imagined suddenly disappearsHaving to surrender when you are someone who craves controlLearning to speak to yourself like someone who will always have your backnavigating depression as someone who never struggled with mental health issuesthe problem with outsourcing comfort and validationhow women tether themselves to our physical appearance The complicated relationship women have with beauty, value, and appearanceMoving away from a “why me?” mentality and the art of reframingHow changing your language can help you reclaim agencyWhy surrendering can still be an intentional choiceHow facing mortality changed the way Miranda values her time and her lifeLearning not to waste energy obsessing over things you cannot controlTherapy, journaling, and returning to the tools that support your mental healthThe breast cancer signs and symptoms young women need to knowThe rise of breast cancer diagnoses among young women& MORE! This episode is for anyone navigating grief, depression, trauma, illness, or a season of life that has forced them to release control. If you're looking to feel inspired to move through your trauma, this episode is for you! TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 – Introduction 05:21 – Coming off Anne with an E and believing her career was just beginning 05:40 – Being diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer at 19 06:00 – Finding a lump during a breast self-exam 07:55 – The immediate mental-health impact of a cancer diagnosis 08:25 – Surrendering control when your future feels uncertain 11:07 – Why your relationship with mental health changes over time 11:35 – Egg freezing, chemotherapy, a double mastectomy, and radiation 11:50 – The mental, physical, and spiritual toll of cancer treatment 12:30 – Depression and losing hope for the future 15:00 – Grieving the life and future you thought you were going to have 16:20 – Why mental-health struggles can feel so isolating 18:04 – Outsourcing comfort and validation when you feel alone 19:40 – The wounds cancer brought to the surface 20:35 – Why women are taught to use beauty as an asset 21:58 – Why losing her hair did not feel empowering 22:30 – Moving away from a “why me?” mentality 25:00 – Reframing the way you speak about difficult experiences 25:15 – Changing “I have to” into “I get to” 25:39 – Using language to reclaim agency and control 27:13 – How surrendering can still be a choice 31:35 – Why Miranda no longer perseverates on everything that goes wrong 32:00 – How facing mortality changed the way she values her life 32:20 – What Lexapro and antidepressants actually changed 34:29 – Learning how to live with the unknown 35:07 – Struggling to release control 35:33 – Why obsessing over what you cannot change only wastes your energy 36:00 – Returning to the mental-health tools that support you 36:43 – Therapy as a tool for healing 40:22 – Creating resources for women navigating breast cancer 42:30 – The rise of breast cancer among young women CONNECT BELOW: follow Miranda ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Fill Your Tank here CONNECT with HAN: follow Han ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow HOW I SEE IT ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Han on Substack ⁠here⁠ watch HOW I SEE IT on YouTube ⁠here⁠

#154: On today's episode, Han sits down with the creator and dating coach behind The Daddy Academy, Niko Emanuilidis, for the first-ever dating conversation with a man on the podcast. The girls wanted to know about modern dating, relationships, red flags, what men actually think, and what women should be looking for in a healthy partner... and Niko unapologetically gets into it. Han and Niko explore the male perspective on dating so women can better understand the other side, while also breaking down what it actually looks like to date a healthy, emotionally mature man. This episode covers why so many of us keep repeating the same relationship patterns, why healing doesn't always stop you from attracting unhealthy partners, and why the real work is learning to recognize and reject what no longer aligns with you. Niko and Han get into: How childhood wounds shape who you're attracted toWhy healing doesn't stop you from attracting unhealthy people—you simply have to stop choosing themWhy a healthy man can embody both masculine and feminine energyWhat emotional regulation actually looks like in a relationship, especially when looking for a boyfriend/long term partnerWhy women are evolving emotionally faster than menWhy relationships often become the next stage of healingThe five conversations every couple should have within the first few datesHow to know if someone is dating intentionallyThe difference between chemistry and compatibilityWhat men wish women better understood about datingWhat women should actually look for in a healthy partnerThe biggest red flags women consistently missHow to recognize love bombing before it's too lateWhy healthy love feels calm instead of chaoticThe importance of pacing and boundaries in early datingFinding your core wound and breaking unhealthy dating patternsWhat it actually takes to attract the relationship you deserveThe importance of being seen& MORE! This episode is for anyone who feels stuck in unhealthy dating patterns, struggles with attachment wounds, or wants to build a secure, emotionally healthy relationship. If you're navigating dating anxiety, love bombing, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, emotional unavailability, or the fear of being fully seen, this conversation will completely change the way you think about love. TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 – Introduction01:02 – Meet Niko from The Daddy Academy02:53 – What healthy masculine energy actually looks like04:45 – Why emotionally available men are the most attractive07:06 – Why women are evolving emotionally faster than men08:57 – Do you have to heal before entering a healthy relationship?10:10 – Why you date your unfinished business10:26 – Why healing doesn't stop emotionally unavailable people from showing up17:02 – What women are really looking for in men today20:27 – The five conversations every couple should have early on23:24 – How to know if someone is dating intentionally25:33 – Why talking about past relationships matters29:09 – Learning to be fully seen in relationships32:45 – Identifying your core wound and attachment patterns33:16 – What men wish women understood about dating39:02 – The biggest dating red flags women miss39:23 – How love bombing starts with high chemistry and obsession40:00 – Why you can't rush the dating process40:58 – The difference between calm love and anxious chemistry41:22 – What healthy obsession actually looks like42:33 – Why pacing and boundaries matter in early dating46:26 – Why you should never date someone's potential48:10 – Why your time is your greatest asset while dating53:05 – How to attract the healthy relationship you deserve54:50 – Why being fully seen helps you find your person1:00:24 – Stop chasing your future spouse and start loving your own life CONNECT BELOW: Follow Niko here Follow the Daddy Academy here Join his Dating program here follow Han ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow HOW I SEE IT ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Han on Substack ⁠here⁠

#153: On today's solo episode, Han opens up about one of the hardest seasons of her life and the question she's been asking: What actually makes life worth living? Despite experiencing the most success she's ever had in her career, Han shares why she's simultaneously been navigating one of the darkest chapters of her personal life. She reflects on returning to therapy, her experience with MDMA-assisted therapy, healing from complex trauma, and why she believes so much of our suffering comes from resisting life's inevitable dualities rather than learning to hold them. This episode is an honest conversation about mental health, depression, healing, fear, and learning to find freedom even when life feels uncertain. Han explores why happiness can actually feel more frightening than pain after trauma, why control keeps us stuck, and why true healing begins the moment we stop trying to escape discomfort and start embracing life's gray areas. Han gets into: what actually makes life worth livingwhy success doesn't always equal happinessreturning to therapy and pursuing deeper healingMDMA-assisted therapy and reconnecting to your bodyintellectualizing your emotions vs. actually feeling themaccepting life's dualities instead of resisting themlearning to live in the grayperfectionism, overachievement, and the need for controlwhy happiness can feel scarier than traumaexploring happiness after traumafinding safety outside of your identity as someone who has sufferedletting go of the stories you've had to carry to survivewhy avoiding discomfort creates more sufferingthe truth behind fearwhy trying to escape fear becomes its own prisonnavigating depression through acceptance rather than avoidanceletting go of control and choosing freedom over certaintywhat it really means to build a life worth livingHappiness as a brave choice& MORE! This episode is for anyone who is having a hard time accepting the dualities of life. If you've been navigating depression, complex trauma, burnout, or a season where life feels both beautiful and incredibly difficult, this conversation is for you. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is allow yourself to explore what happiness can truly feel like. TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 – Introduction 00:43 – Why I've been putting off this solo episode 01:25 – Going back to therapy to heal deeper layers of trauma 02:11 – The paradox of success: Why achievement doesn't always bring happiness 03:40 – Learning to accept life's dualities and live in the gray 04:00 – Growing up around narcissism and how it shaped the way I cope 05:13 – What actually makes life worth living? 06:30 – My experience with MDMA-assisted therapy 07:08 – Intellectualizing emotions vs. feeling them in your body 08:07 – The perfectionism I didn't realize I had 09:19 – Can we sit with life's uncertainty instead of trying to escape it? 10:28 – Why discomfort makes us retreat 11:24 – Letting go of control instead of avoiding your feelings 11:43 – How accepting ambiguity creates freedom 13:02 – Why happiness can feel scarier than trauma 14:46 – Letting go of an identity rooted in suffering 15:29 – Why acceptance can transform your relationships and career 17:38 – Navigating a dark night of the soul 19:48 – The vulnerability of exploring happiness 20:10 – When discomfort becomes familiar 24:27 – Why external validation never creates lasting safety 25:19 – Fear, discomfort, and why we struggle to sit with uncertainty 27:22 – How trying to escape fear becomes its own prison CONNECT with HAN: follow Han ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow HOW I SEE IT ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Han on Substack ⁠here⁠ watch HOW I SEE IT on YouTube ⁠here⁠ shop the podcast merch ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ work with Han: [email protected]

#152: On today's episode, psychotherapist and founder of Therapy in the City,  joins the podcast for a conversation about what it actually means to heal. So many of us spend our lives chasing happiness while trying to avoid pain, but what if the very thing we're resisting is what allows us to experience the deepest joy? Aliza explains why healing isn't about becoming happy all the time, but about learning to embrace the full human experience. The girls unpack why discomfort isn't something to escape, why uncertainty is one of life's greatest teachers, and how letting go of control can completely transform the way we experience life. The girls get into: why pain is required for joywhy avoiding your emotions creates more sufferingprocessing your feelings instead of escaping themaccepting the full human experienceembracing life's dualitieswhy happiness isn't the goal of healingletting go of control and embracing uncertaintywhy some people naturally experience emotions more intenselythe Biosocial Theory and why mental health isn't always rooted in traumawhy you are not your thoughts, emotions, or past experiencesthe difference between your first thought and your second thought (more on rewiring the brain)why high achievers often struggle to feel their emotionsslowing down, stillness, and the power of the pauseunderstanding shame and where it stems fromwhat Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is and how it helps us healpsychology and spirituality... why healing requires bothredefining what true joy actually looks likedating, attachment styles, and choosing relationships that align with your values& MORE! This episode is for anyone who struggles to relinquish control, finds themselves in patterns of emotional avoidance, or is constantly chasing happiness while resisting pain. If you've ever felt overwhelmed by uncertainty, uncomfortable emotions, or the inevitable ups and downs of life, this conversation will completely reframe what healing actually looks like. Because true joy isn't found in avoiding pain... it's found in learning how to hold both. TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 – Introduction01:09 – What actually brings people to therapy?04:49 – Feeling emotions deeply and learning how to process them05:53 – The Biosocial Theory: Why some people feel emotions more intensely07:03 – Healing isn't only for people with trauma08:04 – You are not your thoughts, emotions, or past experiences09:38 – Stop trying to control what you can't control10:39 – Why healing is about beginning again13:29 – Learning to embrace uncertainty16:48 – Why happiness isn't the destination17:19 – Why pain is required for joy18:05 – Emotional avoidance: Why avoiding your feelings creates more suffering20:26 – You can be self-aware and still be emotionally unavailable21:40 – Logic vs. emotion: Learning to actually feel23:01 – The science behind emotions and slowing them down24:11 – The healing power of the pause, silence, and stillness27:01 – Shame, secrecy, and why they always go together27:48 – What is Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)?34:40 – Becoming comfortable with life's ambiguity36:15 – Psychology, spirituality, and trusting something bigger than yourself37:25 – The three things anxiety usually comes back to38:42 – Why external achievement can never replace internal healing40:27 – What is joy, really?48:21 – Dating, attachment, and choosing relationships that align with your values CONNECT BELOW: Follow Aliza here Visit Therapy in the City here CONNECT WITH HAN: follow Han ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow HOW I SEE IT ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ follow Han on Substack ⁠here⁠ watch HOW I SEE IT on YouTube ⁠here⁠ shop the podcast merch ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ work with Han: [email protected]