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If intimacy feels harder than it should, this conversation offers a different way of looking at it. This episode is about staying connected through real emotions, real differences, and the very human messiness of long-term relationships. In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with men's and relationship coach Bryan Reeves. Bryan shares the winding path that led him here—from Air Force captain and corporate executive to relationship coach—after realizing in his late 30s that, despite being successful and well-intentioned, he had never actually learned how to create emotional safety or intimacy. That reckoning, and the heartbreak that came with it, shaped the work he now does with men and couples. From that lived experience, our conversation explores what helps relationships work in real life: why rigid masculine/feminine roles often fall apart in practice how emotional disconnection shows up for men, often without them realizing it a simple way of bringing awareness into the body instead of shutting down We talk about shared leadership in relationships, the difference between tolerating and appreciating one another, and why so many long-term conflicts aren't meant to be resolved—but met with more presence, humor, and care. This episode is an invitation to let go of the idea that good relationships are neat or conflict-free, and to approach intimacy with curiosity, compassion, and a willingness to stay on each other's side—even when it's uncomfortable. Connect with Bryan Reeves Website: www.bryanreeves.com Book: Choose Her Every Day (Or Leave Her) Connect with Deborah Substack: https://substack.com/@deborahkat YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@deborahkat9349 Instagram https://www.instagram.com/deborahtantrakat/ Podcast Feedback [email protected]  Book a breakthrough session with Deborah 
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  In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with pleasure advocate and sex educator Melissa Louise. We explore the connection between sexual confidence, creativity, and self-trust, and how owning your sexual energy can change the way you show up in your relationships and your life. Along the way, Melissa shares her personal journey of growing up in a conservative, patriarchal culture in South Australia and navigating cultural shame, sexual trauma, and rigid gender roles. Together, we unpack how both men and women are constrained by societal expectations, how mistrust between genders is reinforced, and what becomes possible when those narratives begin to loosen. Melissa also offers practical teachings and frameworks for expanding pleasure and confidence, including her grounded approach to helping men "masturbate well" as a foundation for sexual mastery and relational presence. This episode offers clear insights and actionable tools to help you reconnect with your desire and show up more fully in your sex life and relationships. Connect with Melissa  Website: https://melissalouise.world Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melissa_louise_intimacy/ Substack: https://melissalouise.substack.com/ Man in control: https://melissalouise.world/man-6739?am_id=deborah5221 Connect with Deborah Substack: https://substack.com/@deborahkat YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@deborahkat9349 Instagram https://www.instagram.com/deborahtantrakat/ Podcast Feedback [email protected]  Book a breakthrough session with Deborah 
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  In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with psychologist and author Dr. Eric Fitz Medrude about what it really means to be "a better man." Together, we explore how cultural conditioning, shame, and lack of real education have left so many men confused about sex, masculinity, and intimacy. Eric shares how his Catholic upbringing and family's unusually frank conversations about sex shaped his perspective, and how those early experiences inspired his book, The Better Man. We dive into common myths about porn, testosterone, and what men are "supposed" to want—and how those beliefs often block real connection and pleasure. Along the way, Eric opens up about the importance of platonic touch, the emotional cost of living inside "the man box," and what it takes to build relationships rooted in honesty and consent. We also talk about resentment, boundaries, and the hard truth that being a better lover starts with being a better human. Connect with Eric  Website: https://www.drericfitz.com/ Book: The Better Man https://www.drericfitz.com/the-better-man/ Connect with Deborah Substack: https://substack.com/@deborahkat YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@deborahkat9349 Instagram https://www.instagram.com/deborahtantrakat/ Podcast Feedback [email protected]  Book a breakthrough session with Deborah 
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In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with elder, teacher, author, and longtime men's work facilitator Dene Maria Sebastiana, author of Fierce & Tender: Healing the Deep Masculine. We explore what really happens inside men's circles—and why emotional maturity, vulnerability, and deep male connection are essential for better sex and healthier relationships. Dene shares his journey from growing up in a hyper-masculine world to leading transformational circles across the U.S. and Mexico. He talks about the power of integrating both the fierce and the tender—the masculine and feminine energies within all of us—and how that integration shapes intimacy, partnership, and personal growth. This conversation is grounded, heart-centered, and full of insight—a reminder that healing the masculine isn't abstract. It's embodied, relational, and deeply human. Connect with Dene Website: https://www.denemariasebastiana.com/ Book Fierce & Tender: Healing The Deep Masculine https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09XSSBGXP Connect with Deborah Substack: https://substack.com/@deborahkat YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@deborahkat9349 Instagram https://www.instagram.com/deborahtantrakat/ Podcast Feedback [email protected]  Book a breakthrough session with Deborah 
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In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with board-certified sexologist Dr. Diane Mueller. She holds doctorates in naturopathy and acupuncture, is the founder of MyLibidoDoc.com, and hosts The Libido Lounge podcast. Together we explore how science, spirituality, and sensuality come together to shape desire—what awakens it, and what quietly turns it off. Throughout our conversation, Dr. Diane shares her journey from a strict Catholic upbringing to reclaiming pleasure as a source of healing and power. Along the way, we talk about what's missing in traditional medical training around sexuality, how arousal cycles differ between men and women, and why libido isn't just hormonal—it's a reflection of vitality, safety, and connection to self. Dr. Diane offers deep insight into why passion fades in long-term relationships and how novelty can reawaken erotic energy. She reminds us that pleasure isn't indulgence—it's nourishment. And she shares grounded, practical tools from her upcoming book, Want to Want It, for reconnecting with your body, expanding curiosity, and creating more joy and intimacy in your sexual lif Connect with Diane Website: MyLibidoDoc.com Preorder the Book Want to Want it https://mylibidodoc.com/want-to-want-it/#a_aid=bettersex&a_bid=b520ee83 Connect with Deborah Substack: https://substack.com/@deborahkat YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@deborahkat9349 Instagram https://www.instagram.com/deborahtantrakat/ Podcast Feedback [email protected]  Book a breakthrough session with Deborah 
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Pelvic Health, Pleasure & the Cooch Ball with Jana Danielson In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with pelvic health expert and creator of the Cooch Ball, Jana Danielson. We explore the connection between pelvic floor health and sexual well-being, and how caring for this overlooked part of the body can unlock more intimacy, pleasure, and vitality. Along the way, Jana shares her journey of pain, incontinence, and dismissal by the medical system—and how discovering Pilates led to her healing and ultimately the creation of the Cooch Ball. We talk about the emotional impact of pelvic floor dysfunction, the difference between hypo- and hypertonic muscles, and surprising links between the jaw, feet, and pelvis. Jana reframes pleasure as a birthright and guides us through a simple breathing practice to release tension and reconnect with the body. You'll walk away from this conversation with inspiration, practical tools, and a fresh perspective on how small daily practices can transform not only pelvic health but also the quality of connection and pleasure in relationships. Connect with Jana Website: https://bloombetter.life/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/thecoochball Youtube https://www.youtube.com/@Jana.Danielson Free Gift: Healthy Pelvic Floor eBook https://info.bloombetter.life/healthy-pelvic-floor-ebook585347 Connect with Deborah 
Questions and Answers  Substack: https://substack.com/@deborahkat YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@deborahkat9349 Instagram https://www.instagram.com/deborahtantrakat/ Podcast Feedback [email protected]  Book a breakthrough session with Deborah 
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In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with sex and relationship coach, Dr. Jeni Wahlig, co-founder of Powerful Love Relationships and creator of the Powerful Love Method. Together we explore how to create "next level love" through radical self-leadership—even when your partner isn't ready or willing to do the work. In this conversation, we dive into Jeni's Awareness → Choice → Power framework and how it helps you stop repeating old patterns, renegotiate agreements with freedom and repair, and reframe conflict as an opportunity for deeper trust. Along the way, Jeni shares her powerful personal story: a seven-year, on-again off-again journey with her partner Cal that spanned other marriages, included the heartbreak of separation, and ultimately led to their reconnection. She describes how shifting from blame to personal leadership not only transformed their relationship but also became the foundation of the Powerful Love Method she now teaches. From there, we open into a candid look at polyamory—not as a lifestyle of multiple partners, but as an identity and a practice of love as something expansive. Jeni explains why this perspective reshapes what it means to have a soulmate, and how embracing fluidity and ongoing repair can create resilience in any relationship, monogamous or not. This episode is your invitation to step into relational leadership—so you can claim your power, create safety for intimacy to grow, and experience the extraordinary love you deserve. Connect with Dr Jeni  Website: https://powerfulove.com Facebook https://www.facebook.com/powerfulove Facebook   https://www.facebook.com/jeni.wahlig Youtube YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3yVd52IcRRG_lljev2BB3A Free Gift https://powerfulove.com/freegift  Connect with Deborah 
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In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with Mel Cassidy, a queer, multidisciplinary somatic practitioner and relationship coach who specializes in supporting queer and questioning folks navigating non-monogamy. Together, we explore the liberating possibilities of honest, consensual non-monogamy—how it works, why it can be both exhilarating and challenging, and what it means to approach relationships with openness and authenticity. Mel's personal journey—from crafting imaginative, non-monogamous love stories as a child to courageously embracing relationship anarchy and becoming their own primary partner—sets the stage for a conversation that is both vulnerable and deeply empowering. As we dive in, Mel shares how colonialism and the nuclear family model have shaped our ideas of love and commitment, why chosen and extended kinship networks are essential, and how perfectionism and societal norms can quietly limit our relational freedom. Along the way, we unpack Mel's unique framework for mapping relational landscapes, explore the nervous system's role in building meaningful connection, and discover how to create space for both autonomy and intimacy. If you're ready to break free from outdated scripts, expand your understanding of love, and build relationships that reflect your truest self, this episode offers both the insight and the tools to begin. Connect with Mel Website: http://radicalrelating.ca Insta: https://www.instagram.com/radicalrelating Free Gift mini-ebook Connection in Disconnected https://radical-relating.kit.com/74882e7ee9 Connect with Deborah 
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In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with Sex, Relationship and Certified Erotic Blueprint Coach Ryan Brown. Together, we explore how understanding the Erotic Blueprints can unlock new ways to experience pleasure, connection, and self-expression. Ryan's own story, from growing up in a conservative, sex-negative environment to embracing their full erotic and gender expansiveness, sets the stage for a conversation that is both honest and inspiring. As we dive deeper, Ryan unpacks what makes the Erotic Blueprints so powerful, explaining how they can be maps to guide us toward a richer, juicier experience of life and intimacy. Along the way, we explore the difference between sexuality and eroticism, how to bring play and curiosity into everyday life, and why dismantling societal boxes around sex and gender is essential to finding authentic joy. Ryan also shares practical tools and coaching insights, from mirror work for healing body image to practices that invite more presence and pleasure into daily routines. They bring a fresh perspective on gender liberation and platonic eroticism, offering a vision of erotic energy that is both expansive and deeply human. If you're ready to break old patterns and discover new pathways to connection and self-discovery, this episode will give you the tools and inspiration to begin. Connect with Ryan  Website:  humxnsx.com Linktree: https://linktr.ee/humxn.sx Connect with Deborah 
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In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with leading Somatic Sex Therapist Susan Morgan Taylor, Ma. We explore how women can reclaim their sexuality—not by waiting for someone else to unlock their pleasure, but by learning to create it for themselves. Susan shares her powerful personal story—how she went from a sexless marriage to discovering deep, full-body pleasure on her own. That awakening became the catalyst for her life's work helping others break free from sexual shame and disconnection. Together, we unpack the common myths about women's sexuality and why so many women lose interest in sex over time. Susan explains how stress, safety, and relationship dynamics shape desire—and why learning your own body is essential for lasting connection. She also introduces her Pleasure Keys framework, rooted in relaxation, presence, and internal awareness. Along the way, we explore how to navigate mismatched libidos, sexual fantasies, and communication challenges with curiosity instead of shame. This conversation is a reminder that great sex starts within. You'll leave with practical tools—like the "pleasure date" practice—and one bold question to ask yourself that can turn your sex life around. Connect with Susan  Website:  https://www.pleasurekeysretreat.com Free Gift: eBook: www.pleasurekeys.com  Free monthly masterclass https://www.pathwaytopleasure.com Connect with Deborah 
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In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with Somatic Sex Coach Danie Bergstrom where we explore what it really means to initiate intimacy with confidence—especially for queer women and AFAB (assigned female at birth) folks navigating trauma, social conditioning, and disconnection from desire. Throughout the conversation, Danie shares her personal journey of coming out after leaving a 7-year marriage with a man—a turning point that led her to discover somatic work and reconnect with her body after years of dissociation. From that work, she began supporting others who feel stuck, unsure how to move from awareness to embodied change. Danie offers insight into how somatics can gently rewire our relationship with pleasure and intimacy. Along the way, we talk about nonverbal consent, how to initiate without anxiety, and why lesbian sex doesn't follow a single script. She also explains why "Where do you feel that in your body?" isn't always the best place to start—and what to ask instead. If you've ever struggled with initiating sex, felt unsure how to communicate boundaries, or wanted a deeper connection with your body—this episode offers practical tools and permission to start small. Connect with Danie Website:  sapphicsexologist.com Free Gift: sapphicsexologist.com/freebie Connect with Deborah 
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In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with clinical psychologist and neurodiversity expert Dr. Matt Zakreski about navigating sex, dating, and relationships through the lens of neurodivergence. From decoding consent to building confidence in communication, Dr. Matt offers real talk, deep insight, and practical tools for connection. In this conversation, we go behind the scenes of the social dynamics most people take for granted—like reading the room, picking up on flirting, or knowing how to initiate intimacy—and what happens when your brain processes the world differently. Dr. Matt breaks down why things like anxiety, social cues, and different ways of developing can make relationships feel especially confusing or overwhelming for neurodivergent folks. We explore how to build social and sexual competence through practice, why naming your needs is powerful, and how embracing your unique wiring can lead to more authentic intimacy. If you've ever felt like dating is confusing, consent is awkward, or you're not doing it "right"—this episode will help you feel seen, empowered, and better equipped to create connection on your terms.   Connect with Dr Matt Zakreski  Website:  https://www.drmattzakreski.com/   The Playbook: https://www.drmattzakreski.com/the-neurodiversity-playbook Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmattzakreski/ Connect with Deborah 
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In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with Adult Film Performer, Producer and CEO of Red MILF Productions, Rachel Steele about the liberating—and often misunderstood—world of sexual fantasy. From taboo storylines to personal empowerment, Rachel shares how her work creates space for people to safely explore their desires without shame. In this fascinating conversation, we take you behind the scenes of the adult film industry—from camming and casting to scripting and shooting—and unpack the difference between sexual entertainment and education. Rachel opens up about how she accidentally entered the industry, why she started her own production company, and the deep psychology behind the fantasies that resonate most. Together, we explore how shame shapes our desires, and how storytelling can actually help release it. Rachel talks candidly about censorship, societal stigma, and the emotional impact her work has on viewers who finally feel seen and accepted. If you've ever wondered what really goes into adult content—or why certain fantasies pull at you—this conversation offers an honest, eye-opening look at how fantasy can be a force for healing, creativity, and connection. Connect with Rachel X: https://x.com/RedMILFRachel Website:  https://www.rachel-steele.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rachel_steelexoxo Connect with Deborah 
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In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with relationship coaches, podcast hosts, and longtime partners Jason and Tina Marie Scott. We explore what it really takes to keep love alive beyond the honeymoon stage—and how a thriving relationship is built not on perfection, but on presence, communication, and intentional care. During this conversation, Jason and Tina Marie discuss the foundation of friendship in their 33-year marriage, how they've redefined traditional roles in their partnership, and why self-awareness is key to lasting intimacy. Along the way, they share their own story—from a bumpy first meeting to creating a life of love, laughter, and growth together. They also introduce their Manifest Method, a practical framework couples can use to strengthen communication, deepen emotional connection, and bring intention into everyday interactions. With tools like their 20 Emotional Intimacy Questions, they offer a clear path for couples to reconnect and evolve—together. This episode is packed with heart, humor, and wisdom—and a reminder that great relationships don't just happen. They're created, moment by moment, with care. Connect with Jason and Tina Marie Scott  Website https://legendaryrelationship.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/legendaryrelationship/ Connect with Deborah 
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In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I chat with Dominatrix and kink educator Miss. Em, who brings over 20 years of experience in the world of BDSM, fetishes, and power dynamics. Hear about how her early curiosity around taboo desires became a calling—and how she uses passion, presence, and emotional intelligence to create safe, transformative experiences. During this conversation, Miss. Em shares her insights on everything from the origins of fetish and submission to the importance of aftercare and the art of psychological play. We explore how kink isn't always about sex—and how rituals, scent, and memory can create deep arousal and connection. Along the way, we talk about what it means to be an ethical Dominant, the surprising challenges of online BDSM, and why honest communication is at the center of any powerful erotic exchange. This episode invites you to drop the shame, get curious, and expand your understanding of intimacy—through the lens of kink, consent, and deep trust. Connect with Miss Em  Website -  https://www.sultrymissem.com/   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sultrymissem/ Connect with Deborah 
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