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Why can your ADHD brain receive 10 lovely comments… then obsess over the ONE person who criticised you? In this episode, we’re talking about RSD, its lesser-known flip side RRE (Recognition Responsive Euphoria) & why genuine recognition can have such a powerful impact on ADHD brains. We’ll cover: Why rejection & criticism can hit so bloody hardWhy ADHD brains can forget the good & cling to the badHow recognition can boost motivation, energy & confidenceWhy you need to create your own File of Fantastic ShitWhat to put in it & when to use it Because sometimes your brain needs reminding of the evidence it conveniently forgot… LINKS TO GOOD SH*T FROM XENA: *Join Adulting with ADHD your ADHD toolbox & everything you need to work with your brain *Get our ADHD Coach in your pocket! + the ADHD Goal Setting Workbook (life planner tool) *12 Things I wished my Doctor had told me about Adult ADHD *Find out if you might be living with ADHD - Download Symptoms List *Check out Courses & Coaching with Xena *Learn, Inspire, Share & Connect inside our Facebook Community  *Come hang out with me on Instagram!

Ever wondered why one tiny thing can suddenly send you from “I’m fine” to “I absolutely cannot deal with this”? In this episode, we’re talking about the Window of Tolerance & why understanding this is incredibly helpful when you have ADHD. You’ll learn: Why your capacity can look completely different from one day to the nextThe difference between the red zone, blue zone & being inside your windowHow stress, sensory overload, emotions and everyday ADHD demands can push us outside itWhy feeling safe matters to our nervous systemSimple ways to regulate, build capacity & widen your window of tolerance Resource mentioned:  Breathing Techniques to Reduce Stress and Anxiety - Dr. Andrew Huberman on the Physiological Sigh CONNECT WITH & WORK WITH XENA: *Join Adulting with ADHD your ADHD toolbox & everything you need to work with your brain *Get our ADHD Coach in your pocket! + the ADHD Goal Setting Workbook (life planner tool) *12 Things I wished my Doctor had told me about Adult ADHD *Find out if you might be living with ADHD - Download Symptoms List *Check out Courses & Coaching with Xena *Learn, Inspire, Share & Connect inside our Facebook Community  *Come hang out with me on Instagram!

Dopamine gets ALL the attention in the ADHD world… but what about endorphins? These little feel-good chemicals can help take the edge off stress, support your mood & make life feel just a bit easier. And the best part? Some of the easiest ways to get them are actually pretty fun. In this episode, we’re talking about: What endorphins actually are & why they matterWhy movement can help shift your ADHD stateThe very legitimate benefits of laughing your arse offHow singing, music & dancing can help when you’re stressed or stuckWhy doing something slightly hard can leave you feeling surprisingly goodHow to bring more play into your life  Plus, I’m setting you a simple 7-day Endorphin Experiment so you can find out what genuinely helps YOU feel better. LINKS TO MORE GOOD SH*T FROM XENA: *Join Adulting with ADHD your ADHD toolbox & everything you need to work with your brain *Get our ADHD Coach in your pocket! + the ADHD Goal Setting Workbook (life planner tool) *12 Things I wished my Doctor had told me about Adult ADHD *Find out if you might be living with ADHD - Download Symptoms List *Check out Courses & Coaching with Xena *Learn, Inspire, Share & Connect inside our Facebook Community  *Come hang out with me on Instagram!

One Saturday morning, I ended up in the ER saying, “I think I’m having a heart attack.” Two weeks later, I had a diagnosis I’d barely heard of: POTS, Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. In this episode, I’m sharing what happened, what POTS actually is & the interesting overlap researchers are seeing between POTS, ADHD & other neurodivergent conditions. We’ll talk about: The weird symptoms that finally made me realise something wasn’t rightWhat POTS actually does to your bodyThe connection between POTS and neurodivergenceCommon symptoms, triggers and co-occurring conditionsWhat diagnosis & management can look likeWhy understanding what your body is doing can change everything If you’ve ever thought, “Why does my body do this weird sh*t?” this one is worth a listen. RESOURCE MENTIONED: https://www.dysautonomianz.co.nz/ Important: POTS symptoms can overlap with other medical conditions, so please don’t diagnose yourself from a podcast or smartwatch. If something here sounds familiar, speak with your doctor. LINKS TO MORE GOOD SH*T FROM XENA: *Join Adulting with ADHD your ADHD toolbox & everything you need to work with your brain *Get our ADHD Coach in your pocket! + the ADHD Goal Setting Workbook (life planner tool) *12 Things I wished my Doctor had told me about Adult ADHD *Find out if you might be living with ADHD - Download Symptoms List *Check out Courses & Coaching with Xena *Learn, Inspire, Share & Connect inside our Facebook Community  *Come hang out with me on Instagram!

Your brain does some weird shit. The good news? A lot of it makes more sense once you understand what’s actually going on behind the scenes. In this episode, I’m sharing 15 fascinating brain facts, psychology quirks & simple hacks that explain why we think, feel & behave the way we do. We cover: Why asking someone for a small favour can actually make them like you moreWhy embarrassing memories seem to stick around foreverThe spotlight effect & why people notice you far less than you thinkHow naming an emotion can help turn down its intensityWhy walking can boost creativity & help you get unstuckA few surprisingly simple ways to support focus, memory & learning (including chewing gum!) Basically, your brain is doing weird sh*t for surprisingly logical reasons. And once you know what it’s up to, you can start working with it. WANT MORE? *Join Adulting with ADHD your ADHD toolbox & everything you need to work with your brain *Get our ADHD Coach in your pocket! + the ADHD Goal Setting Workbook (life planner tool) *12 Things I wished my Doctor had told me about Adult ADHD *Find out if you might be living with ADHD - Download Symptoms List *Check out Courses & Coaching with Xena *Learn, Inspire, Share & Connect inside our Facebook Community  *Come hang out with me on Instagram!

I named my ADHD brain Kevin. Why? Because when Kevin tells me I’m a failure, catastrophises over one tiny mistake or starts replaying something embarrassing I said three days ago, it’s much easier to go, “Yep, Kevin’s being dramatic again”… And create some separation. In this episode, I’m sharing why naming your brain can be such a powerful way to create distance from your inner critic, reduce rumination & stop treating yourself like an a*****e. We cover: Why that mean voice in your head can slowly erode your self-esteemThe science & psychology behind naming your brainHow naming your brain helps you separate you from the mental noiseThe 3 simple steps to name your own brain, notice its patterns & talk back to it Because your brain is a storyteller, not a fortune teller. And sometimes Kevin needs to sit the f*ck down. WANT TO WORK WITH XENA? *Join Adulting with ADHD your ADHD toolbox & everything you need to work with your brain *Get our ADHD Coach in your pocket! + the ADHD Goal Setting Workbook (life planner tool) *12 Things I wished my Doctor had told me about Adult ADHD *Find out if you might be living with ADHD - Download Symptoms List *Check out Courses & Coaching with Xena *Learn, Inspire, Share & Connect inside our Facebook Community  *Come hang out with me on Instagram!

When both partners have ADHD, relationships can be full of fun, spontaneity, creativity & a deep sense of “you just get me.”  But two ADHD brains can also mean double the executive dysfunction, emotional dysregulation, RSD, impulsivity & forgotten life admin. In this episode, I’m exploring what happens when ADHD meets ADHD in a relationship & why having the same diagnosis doesn’t mean having the same brain. We’ll talk about: Why RSD + RSD can turn a conversation about dirty dishes into a full-blown relationship argumentWhat happens when two emotionally dysregulated brains trigger each otherExecutive dysfunction, unequal mental loads and the dreaded “I thought YOU were doing it”How completely different ADHD profiles can clashMoney, impulsivity, sex & intimacy The genuinely GOOD parts of being with someone whose brain works a little like yours8 practical tools to help you communicate, regulate, stay connected & build systems that actually work for both of you FOR MORE GOOD SH*T FROM US - CHECK OUT:  *Join Adulting with ADHD your ADHD toolbox & everything you need to work with your brain *Get our ADHD Coach in your pocket! + the ADHD Goal Setting Workbook (life planner tool) *12 Things I wished my Doctor had told me about Adult ADHD *Find out if you might be living with ADHD - Download Symptoms List *Check out Courses & Coaching with Xena *Learn, Inspire, Share & Connect inside our Facebook Community  *Come hang out with me on Instagram!

When we talk about ADHD, we spend a lot of time talking about dopamine... but what if we've been overlooking another brain chemical that could make a real difference? In this episode, we're exploring oxytocin. Often called the connection chemical or the love drug,  oxytocin plays an important role in helping us feel safe & connected. It also works closely alongside dopamine, making it especially relevant for ADHD brains. We'll unpack what oxytocin is, why it matters & simple, practical ways you can increase it in everyday life. From hugs & pets to voice notes, nature walks & meaningful conversations, you'll discover why connection isn't just a nice idea... it may actually help support your ADHD brain. In this episode you'll learn: How oxytocin and dopamine work together in the ADHD brainWhy connection can support emotional regulation, relationships, motivation & impulse controlThe surprising difference between texting & hearing someone's voiceWhy walking with a friend might be one of the best things you can do for your brainSimple, ADHD-friendly ways to increase oxytocin every day LINKS TO MORE GOOD SH*T FROM US: *Join Adulting with ADHD your ADHD toolbox & everything you need to work with your brain *Get our ADHD Coach in your pocket! + the ADHD Goal Setting Workbook (life planner tool) *12 Things I wished my Doctor had told me about Adult ADHD *Find out if you might be living with ADHD - Download Symptoms List *Check out Courses & Coaching with Xena *Learn, Inspire, Share & Connect inside our Facebook Community  *Come hang out with me on Instagram!

Why is it that we can be calm, focused & capable in a crisis, but feel completely paralysed by a simple phone call? In this episode, I share the story of breaking down alone on a pitch-black country road & how I handled it like a f*cking boss.  In this episode, we cover: Why ADHD brains can work better in a crisisThe role of dopamine, norepinephrine & stimulationWhy clear, urgent problems can feel easier than vague everyday tasksHow relying on panic & last-minute pressure can lead to burnoutWhy coping well in the moment does not mean your body is not stressedHow to borrow from “crisis mode” without creating an actual crisis HERE'S MORE GOOD SH*T FROM NAVIGATING ADULT ADHD: *Join Adulting with ADHD your ADHD toolbox & everything you need to work with your brain *Get our ADHD Coach in your pocket! + the ADHD Goal Setting Workbook (life planner tool) *12 Things I wished my Doctor had told me about Adult ADHD *Find out if you might be living with ADHD - Download Symptoms List *Check out Courses & Coaching with Xena *Learn, Inspire, Share & Connect inside our Facebook Community  *Come hang out with me on Instagram!

ADHD is often described as a problem with focus, organisation & hyperactivity, but that leaves out a huge part of the picture. In this episode, we are exploring five things doctors can still get wrong about adult ADHD, including: Why emotional dysregulation is a major part of ADHDWhy success does not rule out a diagnosisHow ADHD in women can hide behind anxiety, depression & competenceThe impact hormones can have on symptoms & medicationWhy ADHD is not an inability to pay attention We also look at why lived experience matters, how outdated assumptions can lead to people being dismissed & what a fuller understanding of ADHD can look like. LINKS TO MORE GOOD SH*T FROM US: *Join Adulting with ADHD your ADHD toolbox & everything you need to work with your brain *Get our ADHD Coach in your pocket! + the ADHD Goal Setting Workbook (life planner tool) *12 Things I wished my Doctor had told me about Adult ADHD *Find out if you might be living with ADHD - Download Symptoms List *Check out Courses & Coaching with Xena *Learn, Inspire, Share & Connect inside our Facebook Community  *Come hang out with me on Instagram!

Where’s the line between being authentically yourself and oversharing because… Hi we have ADHD! In this episode, I’m unpacking why so many ADHDers share deeply, quickly & sometimes before we’ve checked whether we actually want to.  We’ll explore: Why ADHD can make us crave fast connectionHow impulsivity, dysregulation, shame & masking can fuel oversharingThe difference between authenticity & urgencyWhy privacy & boundaries do not mean you’re being fake or inauthenticQuestions to help reflect on what you choose to share You can be open, honest and completely yourself without giving everyone immediate access to every part of you. LINKS TO MORE GOOD SH*T FROM NAVIGATING ADULT ADHD: *Join Adulting with ADHD your ADHD toolbox & everything you need to work with your brain *Get our ADHD Coach in your pocket! + the ADHD Goal Setting Workbook (life planner tool) *12 Things I wished my Doctor had told me about Adult ADHD *Find out if you might be living with ADHD - Download Symptoms List *Check out Courses & Coaching with Xena *Learn, Inspire, Share & Connect inside our Facebook Community  *Come hang out with me on Instagram!

ADHD can show up in the bedroom in ways we don’t always talk about. For some ADHDers, it might look like a high sex drive, chasing novelty, impulsive decisions, risky behaviour, or seeking dopamine through sex and attention. For others, it might look like low libido, getting bored, feeling disconnected, sensory overwhelm, distraction, or struggling to stay present. In this episode, we’re unpacking: Hypersexuality and hyposexualityWhy novelty, dopamine and “the chase” can feel so powerfulHow impulsivity can show up around all things sexDistraction, sensory needs & struggling to stay presentLow libido, pressure, resentment & emotional disconnectionWhy intimacy is about so much more than sexHow awareness, communication & support can help us create more choice This is a shame-free, vulnerable conversation about understanding the ADHD patterns that can show up in the bedroom.  LINKS TO MORE GOOD SH*T FROM US: *Join Adulting with ADHD your ADHD toolbox & everything you need to work with your brain *Get our ADHD Coach in your pocket! + the ADHD Goal Setting Workbook (life planner tool) *12 Things I wished my Doctor had told me about Adult ADHD *Find out if you might be living with ADHD - Download Symptoms List *Check out Courses & Coaching with Xena *Learn, Inspire, Share & Connect inside our Facebook Community  *Come hang out with me on Instagram!

Anxiety is incredibly common for adults with ADHD & in this episode we are unpacking the messy, layered relationship between ADHD & anxiety. We cover: Why ADHD can create the perfect conditions for anxiety to thriveHow ADHD symptoms & anxiety symptoms can look almost identicalWhy anxiety may be a coping mechanism your brain developed to keep you safeThe difference between ADHD-driven anxiety & a separate anxiety disorderWhy so many women are diagnosed with anxiety before ADHDWhat can actually help, from brain dumps to emotional regulation tools & ADHD-informed support This episode is for anyone who has ever felt like they’re constantly bracing for something to go wrong, overthinking everything or swimming against a current they couldn’t explain. FOR MORE SUPPORT & OTHER GOOD SH*T: *Join Adulting with ADHD your ADHD toolbox & everything you need to work with your brain *Get our ADHD Coach in your pocket! + the ADHD Goal Setting Workbook (life planner tool) *12 Things I wished my Doctor had told me about Adult ADHD *Find out if you might be living with ADHD - Download Symptoms List *Check out Courses & Coaching with Xena *Learn, Inspire, Share & Connect inside our Facebook Community  *Come hang out with me on Instagram!

Ever felt hurt because someone didn’t reply the “right” way, remember the thing, or show up how you hoped? In this episode, we’re talking about the manual - the invisible rule book we carry around for how other people should behave so we can feel loved, supported, or okay. We’ll explore: • What “the manual” is  • Why ADHD brains can turn unmet expectations into rejection stories  • The difference between making a request and trying to control someone  • How to take back the emotional remote for your life  • Why boundaries are not the same as manuals This one is an absolute game changer for your relationships AND your emotional life!  FOR MORE SUPPORT & OTHER GOOD SH*T: *Join Adulting with ADHD your ADHD toolbox & everything you need to work with your brain *Get our ADHD Coach in your pocket! + the ADHD Goal Setting Workbook (life planner tool) *12 Things I wished my Doctor had told me about Adult ADHD *Find out if you might be living with ADHD - Download Symptoms List *Check out Courses & Coaching with Xena *Learn, Inspire, Share & Connect inside our Facebook Community  *Come hang out with me on Instagram!

In this episode, we’re unpacking why friendships can feel so hard for ADHDers, from forgetting to reply & losing track of time, to rejection sensitivity, masking, emotional dysregulation & the dreaded doom spiral. We’ll explore: • Why caring about someone & initiating contact are not the same skill • How ADHD can make small friendship wobbles feel like full-blown rejection • Why your brain might turn one painful moment into “they don’t care about me” • The role of RSD, emotional dysregulation & masking in friendship struggles • Why not every friendship needs to be saved, but some may be worth repairing • Simple scripts for reconnecting, repairing & being honest without over-explaining This episode is not about becoming a perfect friend. It’s about understanding your brain, checking the story before you act from it & remembering that one tiny honest message can reopen a door you thought was closed. Also check out episode #23 ADHD & friendships  FOR MORE GOOD SH*T... *Join Adulting with ADHD your ADHD toolbox & everything you need to work with your brain *Get our ADHD Coach in your pocket! + the ADHD Goal Setting Workbook (life planner tool) *12 Things I wished my Doctor had told me about Adult ADHD *Find out if you might be living with ADHD - Download Symptoms List *Check out Courses & Coaching with Xena *Learn, Inspire, Share & Connect inside our Facebook Community  *Come hang out with me on Instagram!