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Questions or feedback? Leave your email here. Host Jonathan L., an addict in recovery, interviews Marcus H., a recovering sexual addict, about developing a “willing heart” by overcoming pride, shame, and hiding. Marcus describes decades of secrecy, shame, and compartmentalization, believing milestones like marriage, children, or church callings would be “magic portals” that would fix him, while repeated counsel to “try harder” led to white-knuckle sobriety and relapse. He explains how hiding damaged his relationships, fueled fear and control at home, and split his sense of self, until a rock-bottom disclosure to his wife triggered a crisis that revealed the harm to his family. Marcus recounts finding SAL through his mother-in-law and therapist, meeting program founder Steven at his first meeting, and learning to “want” recovery, keep coming back, and trust the process. Fear initially brought him into SAL 12-Step, where admitting “I am an addict,” connecting with other men, therapy, sponsorship, humility, accountability, and surrender to God replaced willpower. He emphasizes that worth remains constant and divine, sobriety is important but not a ranking, and recovery is a lifelong, non-linear lifestyle that applies to all character weaknesses.  Register for the 2026 S.A. Lifeline Conference Learn more about our conference sponsor Circles of Grace Support the show SA Lifeline Foundation SAL 12 Step Find an SAL12Step Meeting Donate Contact to ask questions or make comments Transcripts

Questions or feedback? Leave your email here. Host Tara McCausland interviews therapist Jed Anderson about attachment theory and how it relates to sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. Anderson explains secure attachment as meeting needs for safety, belonging, and esteem, and outlines insecure styles: avoidant (disconnection and withdrawal), anxious (reactive, controlling pursuit when something feels “off”), and disorganized (terror and conflicted approach-avoidance). He describes the common anxious-avoidant “pursue-withdraw” couple dynamic, how avoidant attachment can increase reliance on addictive “shortcut” relief that becomes a counterfeit attachment, and how discovery/disclosure can create major attachment ruptures and trauma. He emphasizes patience and empathy for betrayed partners, links recovery to developing secure attachment with God via the 12 steps, shares his own pornography exposure and recovery journey. Connect with Jed Anderson REGISTER for the 2026 S.A. Lifeline Virtual Conference 00:00 Patience in Healing 00:47 Meet the Host and Guest 01:00 Why Attachment Matters 02:28 Jed Anderson Background 03:11 Attachment Theory Basics 05:07 Secure Attachment Needs 08:47 Insecure Styles Explained 15:21 Addiction and Betrayal Patterns 17:28 Addiction as Attachment Shortcut 24:20 Porn Vulnerability Trap 26:27 Healing Childhood Attachment Wounds 28:12 Early Exposure and Shame 29:52 Admitting Addiction and Getting Help 30:36 Attachment Wounds and God 32:31 Couples Recovery Timing Mismatch 36:05 Empathy and Trauma 41:22 Secure Attachment Checklist 45:00 Step Two and Conscious Prayer 48:49 Recovery Gratitude and Surrender 50:28 Advice for New and Seasoned 53:41 Closing Thanks and Farewell Support the show SA Lifeline Foundation SAL 12 Step Find an SAL12Step Meeting Donate Contact to ask questions or make comments Transcripts

Questions or feedback? Leave your email here. Host Tara McCausland shares a 2024 SA Lifeline Virtual Conference presentation by Dr. Jill Manning on the impact of snooping after sexual betrayal. Manning explains she chose the topic because snooping is often quickly labeled “safety seeking” without addressing how it can keep people stuck in trauma and reveal deeper issues like attachment, self-trust, and communication problems. She outlines why she supports the SAL 12-step model, including its roadmap for healing, marriage-honoring sobriety definition, gender-segregated groups, and emphasis on detaching from negative control. She defines snooping as seeking information without direct confrontation and lists examples, noting some can be illegal, and describes drivers such as pain, distrust, anxiety, and entitlement to information. She distinguishes short-term feelings of empowerment from long-term effects like prolonged fight-or-flight, trauma symptoms, secondary trauma, exhaustion, mistrust, indirect communication, victim-offending, and enabling dishonesty. Citing a 2015 University of Houston study, she links distrust, anxious attachment, snooping, jealousy, and psychological abuse, and discusses attachment styles and resources for assessment. Manning recommends alternatives such as direct communication, firm boundaries, self-care, trusting one’s gut, therapeutic disclosure, agreed protocols for suspicions, trusted support, and optional polygraph use, and closes with quotes encouraging “going in the front door” and focusing on recovery-based self-worth and integrity. Support the show SA Lifeline Foundation SAL 12 Step Find an SAL12Step Meeting Donate Contact to ask questions or make comments Transcripts

Questions or feedback? Leave your email here. Host Tara McCausland interviews Josh Otani  about why people feel stuck in recovery from pornography addiction  and how rebuilding self-trust is central to lasting change. Otani explains that many clients pursue sobriety goals with performance-based, perfectionistic expectations, but recovery requires clarifying a personal “why” and addressing underlying roots like shame, insecurity, and negative sexual self-image. He contrasts an abstinence-focused recovery with a broader recovery mindset that treats healing as a lifestyle affecting relationships, work, and self-worth. Otani encourages focusing on small, present-day steps, reframing slip-ups as learning rather than “resetting the clock,” and celebrating small wins. He describes internal conflict as two parts—wanting change and wanting old coping relief—and teaches acknowledging cravings with self-compassion, somatic awareness, and values-based redirection to reduce shame. He shares that learning his worth was unconditional reshaped his approach, recommends noticing and reframing harsh self-talk to build internal safety, and advises newcomers to take one step at a time while long-term participants practice kindness and recognize progress. Connect with Josh Otani HERE.   Support the show SA Lifeline Foundation SAL 12 Step Find an SAL12Step Meeting Donate Contact to ask questions or make comments Transcripts

Questions or feedback? Leave your email here. Tara McCausland shares the final Q&A from the April 2026 SAL 12 Step Conference and announces registration for the 2026 SA Lifeline Women’s Workshop (September 18–19 in Mapleton, Utah). Panelists discuss how addicts can own harm  by listening, staying regulated, and doing shame work, often with therapeutic support. They address sitting with discomfort through sponsor help, prayer, and “pendulation,” and clarify surrender as active trust in a higher power rather than apathy. Steven distinguishes lapse (timely honesty and accountability) from relapse (secrecy and misrepresentation). The panel notes limited women-specific addiction groups and recommends SA plus qualified therapy. Betrayed partners are urged to disclose to safe people (often group, sponsors, therapists), set boundaries, and focus on their own recovery when disclosure feels incomplete. They cover defensiveness, step four challenges, deepening connection with God, reframing holidays and anniversaries after discovery, and the importance of sponsorship, humility, and ongoing meetings to heal individuals and families. Register for the S.A. Lifeline Women's Workshop HERE. 02:32 How to Own the Harm 04:22 Sitting With Discomfort 06:35 Pendulation and Regulation 08:04 Surrender Without Apathy 10:42 Lapse vs Relapse 14:27 Women and Addiction Resources 16:01 Safe Disclosure and Support 20:37 Step Four Balanced Inventory 22:22 When Disclosure Feels Incomplete 25:41 Honesty After a Lapse 27:20 Holding Space Not Fixing 27:58 Defensiveness And Regulation 30:39 Working Steps With Sponsor 34:18 Reframing Holidays After D Day 38:03 Anniversaries And Honest Disclosure 42:27 Connecting With the God of Your Understanding 46:53 Why Step Four Feels Brutal 50:47 Closing Hope And Keep Coming Support the show SA Lifeline Foundation SAL 12 Step Find an SAL12Step Meeting Donate Contact to ask questions or make comments Transcripts

Questions or feedback? Leave your email here. Host Tara McCausland shares presentations from the 2026 SAL 12-Step Conference starting with two personal shares from SAL 12-Steppers Brandon P. and Bing H. Brandon P., a recovering sex addict, describes decades of secrecy and shame, hitting rock bottom two years earlier, and learning that turning to God is a daily decision sustained by grace and community. Bing H. shares her experience with betrayal trauma including disorientation, triggers, and despair, and explains how SAL 12-Step, therapy, sponsors, and surrender brought hope, emotional grounding, and a desire to break generational cycles. Next,  you will hear a Healing Couples presentation from Heather and Justin B. which focuses on healing the marriage, focusing on one’s own healing, the messiness of recovery, and placing God at the center. Using the SAL Circle Models, they contrast the drama triangle with healthier patterns and explain how to  rebuild trust and connection over time. They highlight boundaries as “if/then” statements and emphasize that they are self-protective actions rather than walls, and stress ongoing step work, prayer, support, and taking action on spiritual promptings. View the S.A. Lifeline Circle Models HERE. Register for the 2026 Women's Workshop HERE. Support the show SA Lifeline Foundation SAL 12 Step Find an SAL12Step Meeting Donate Contact to ask questions or make comments Transcripts

Questions or feedback? Leave your email here. Therapist and 12-stepper Josh Walpole shares his personal history with pornography and sexual addiction, and how recovery led him to become a therapist at Circles of Grace (formerly Lifestar). He explores how stories shape recovery, contrasts lying with acceptance and radical honesty, and connects the hero’s journey and redemption arcs to change. He outlines 12-step themes, therapeutic recovery elements, nervous-system regulation and “recognize, respect, regulate, re-story,” and emphasizes sponsorship and hope that recovery is real and possible. Apply to become a volunteer S.A. Lifeline Ambassador 00:00 Welcome and Keynote Intro 02:26 Meet Josh Walpole 04:13 Buffalo Storm Metaphor 06:09 Why Stories Matter 08:30 Josh's Recovery Story 14:34 Lies to Radical Honesty 19:24 Hero's Journey in Recovery 25:29 Villains and Redemption Arcs 30:08 Pivot Moments and Rock Bottom 33:16 Founders Stories and Pain 38:20 Twelve Steps as a Story 41:19 Therapy Roadmap to Healing 46:19 Brain and Nervous System Stories 51:12 Closing Stories and Sponsorship 55:39 Recovery Is Possible Support the show SA Lifeline Foundation SAL 12 Step Find an SAL12Step Meeting Donate Contact to ask questions or make comments Transcripts

Questions or feedback? Leave your email here. Tara McCausland shares an SAL 12 Step Conference keynote presentation by therapist and 12-step participant Amanda Christensen. Amanda explains how childhood power dynamics, explicit and implicit family rules, and family systems patterns can shape secrecy, emotional neglect, perfectionism, and vulnerability to sexual acting out. Amanda shares her own discovery trauma and distinguishes sexual acting-out trauma from deception trauma, emphasizing how secrets and manipulation undermine the betrayed partner’s reality, self-trust, and attachment safety. She outlines common power struggles in couples and within oneself, urging people to exit power battles and move toward surrender and “healthy powerlessness.” She recommends deeper work on underlying wounds through 12-step and therapy, therapeutic disclosure, steps one, four, and nine, transparency agreements, boundaries, and ongoing connection to support healing and choice. Apply to become an S.A. Lifeline Ambassador Understanding Pornography use, Problematic Sexual Behavior and Betrayal Trauma Digital Manual Support the show SA Lifeline Foundation SAL 12 Step Find an SAL12Step Meeting Donate Contact to ask questions or make comments Transcripts

Questions or feedback? Leave your email here. Host Jonathan L. interviews LMSW Courtney Weaver about finding quality education and qualified therapy for sex addiction and betrayal trauma recovery. Courtney explains key certifications (CSAT, APSAT, CPTT, C-BIRT), how to choose a therapist based on whether someone is an addict or betrayed partner, and what to ask therapists, including their understanding of pornography’s impact, betrayal trauma, and whether they recognize sex addiction as an addiction; she warns against codependency-based approaches that harm partners. They discuss how therapy and 12-step work can complement each other, when sponsors should defer to therapists (especially for trauma and relationship decisions), and how therapy helps identify underlying belief systems, coping patterns, and childhood roots that often stall progress in recovery work. Courtney outlines best practices for full therapeutic disclosure, recommends research-based resources, and suggests telehealth, podcasts, and community supports while seeking qualified care. See the full list of questions to qualify a therapist HERE.  00:00 Welcome and Guest Intro 01:28 Why Therapist Choice Matters 02:06 Decoding the Acronymns 03:24 Picking the Right Therapist For You 04:24 First Therapy Session Questions 06:29 Therapy Modalities Explained 08:53 12 Steps and Therapy Complement Each Other 10:28 Sponsor vs. Therapist Roles 11:57 Surrender and Learning What to Surrender 13:40 Uncovering Trauma  17:17 Full Therapeutic Disclosure Explained 22:00 Finding Quality Education 23:49 SAL and Community Recovery 25:31 Telehealth and Extra Supports 27:04 Closing Encouragement Support the show SA Lifeline Foundation SAL 12 Step Find an SAL12Step Meeting Donate Contact to ask questions or make comments Transcripts

Questions or feedback? Leave your email here. Host Tara McCausland interviews Debbie Laaser about understanding and managing triggers after betrayal.  Laaser explains that distress from triggers is shaped by perceptions and encourages slowing down reactive fight-or-flight responses. Using her “seven desires” model (to be heard/understood, affirmed, blessed/loved unconditionally, safe, healthily touched, chosen, and included), she suggests identifying which unmet desires a trigger activates, noting that unmet needs intensify pain and that past experiences influence present reactions. She recommends journaling triggers with guided questions, offloading anger safely, and communicating practical needs rather than reacting. Laaser emphasizes wives are not responsible for husbands’ acting out behaviors, highlights post-traumatic growth, points listeners to seeking God to meet ultimate desires, and advises early professional help, community support, and a three-part recovery approach: his, hers, and eventually couples work after sobriety and truth-telling. Connect with Debbie at faithfulandtrue.com. 00:00 Welcome and Topic Setup 01:57 Meet Debbie Laser 02:51 Triggers and Trauma 03:42 Why Triggers Hurt 07:14 Perception vs Truth 09:43 Seven Desires Framework 14:02 Restaurant Trigger Example 17:17 How Past Wounds Amplify Triggers 21:00 Working Through Triggers Process 27:36 Safe Anger Release 32:08 Needs and Boundaries 36:13 Daily Growth and God 43:42  Final Advice   Support the show SA Lifeline Foundation SAL 12 Step Find an SAL12Step Meeting Donate Contact to ask questions or make comments Transcripts

Questions or feedback? Leave your email here. Host Tara McCausland speaks with Pathway to Recovery co-host Jonathan L. Jonathan starts by sharing his adolescent internet porn exposure and how curiosity eventually led to  pornography addiction. He shares how his behavior intensified after his mother died when he was 14, and produced shame, compartmentalization, lying. After marriage, he disclosed to his wife, relapsed, hid again, and later experienced suicidal ideation.  This was followed by Divine help that came after a heartfelt prayer. He was soon after introduced to SAL 12-Step and has been working recovery since 2021. Tara and Jonathan define top lines, bottom lines, and boundaries, and discuss creative top-line practices to build trust, raise bottom lines (e.g., removing social media), and emphasize incremental progress, accountability, celebrating wins, and choosing recovery over addiction. 00:00 Welcome and Guest Intro 01:14 Podcast Milestones and Listener Shoutout 02:39  03:06 Early Exposure and Addiction Roots 04:41 Loss, Grief, and a Double Life 05:44 Mission, Marriage, and First Disclosure 08:50 Suicidal Ideation and Turning Point 10:35 Recovery Begins - Participating in SAL 12-Step and Therapy 13:35 Compassion for Younger Self 18:27 Defining Top Lines, Bottom Lines, Boundaries 21:54   22:44 Turning Alone Time into Trust Building Moments 24:05 Celebrating Progress 25:13  26:35 Sponsor Vision Exercise 27:06 Positive Recovery Mindset - Living by Top Lines 30:02 Weeds vs Flowers Reframe 30:36 Bottom Lines as Guardrails 31:17 Raising Bottom Lines  34:33 Addressing Overwhelm and Striving for 1% Better 37:44 Celebrate Wins Together 40:45 Intentional Recovery Work 42:22 Discipline Over Regret 43:38 Advice for New and the Tired Support the show SA Lifeline Foundation SAL 12 Step Find an SAL12Step Meeting Donate Contact to ask questions or make comments Transcripts

Questions or feedback? Leave your email here. Host Tara McCausland interviews psychotherapist Scott Stolarick, who shares how his work in corrections and with  sex offenders led him to recognize trauma as a driver of maladaptive behavior and the need for both accountability and support rather than shame. They discuss common misconceptions about trauma, differences between recent and historical trauma, and how childhood coping strategies can become harmful in adult relationships. Scott emphasizes trauma’s personal nature, the importance of validating first disclosures, building safety and trust, careful history-taking, and thoughtful use of modalities like EMDR with informed consent, concluding with encouragement for those beginning or continuing recovery. 00:00 Conference Invitation 01:40 Meet the Host and Guest 03:49 Scott’s Background 04:43 Seeing Trauma in Sex Offenders 09:44 Myths About Trauma 13:05 Fresh vs Historical Trauma 14:19 Trauma for Addicts vs Partners 17:54 Childhood Maladaptive Coping Skills Brought into Adulthood 21:32 What Counts as Trauma 25:06 Building Resilience 28:33 Why Trauma Awareness Matters 31:17 Healing Order of Operations 35:54 Effective Trauma Modalities 37:25 Closing Advice for Recovery 38:36 Final Thanks and Wrap Support the show SA Lifeline Foundation SAL 12 Step Find an SAL12Step Meeting Donate Contact to ask questions or make comments Transcripts

Questions or feedback? Leave your email here. Host Jonathan L.  interviews guest Heather B. about surrender as a key recovery principle. Heather shares formative experiences where prayer was her refuge amid family abuse and dysfunction, her brother’s fatal accident, and a first marriage marked by discoveries of multiple addictions that led to her choosing divorce. Heather describes healing trauma through therapy and shares how applying SAL’s three-step surrender process (“on the phone, on my knees, in the box”), has helped her learn to relinquish control and trust God, allowing her to find peace amidst many of life's challenges.   00:00 Conference Announcement 02:03 Meet the Host and Guest 02:40 Early Experiences with the Power of Prayer 05:15 First Marriage and Betrayal 08:03 Miracles and a New Path 09:28 Second Marriage Growth 12:37 Therapy and Trauma Healing 14:22 Learning the Surrender Process 16:38 What is Surrender? 19:17 Phone Knees Box Method 23:23 Letting Go of Outcomes 28:27 Regulating Big Emotions 30:40 Handling Intrusive Thoughts 32:30 Daily Spiritual Practice 35:33 Advice for Newcomers 37:22 Encouragement to Return 38:56 Closing Thanks and Wrap Support the show SA Lifeline Foundation SAL 12 Step Find an SAL12Step Meeting Donate Contact to ask questions or make comments Transcripts

Questions or feedback? Leave your email here. Host Tara McCausland welcomes Dr. Jill Manning for part two of a discussion on pornography and dating. This episode covers what to do when a dating relationship is already affected by pornography. Manning advises an immediate “slow down,” warning against the myth that marriage or sex will solve pornography or sexual addiction, and urges partners not to proceed toward engagement or marriage while addiction is active; she cites guidance that a year of sobriety and recovery work is ideally established first. They discuss avoiding codependent “fixing” by the non-using partner,  clarifying responsibility, and how marriage stress can escalate compulsive behavior. Manning describes recovery markers beyond abstinence—insight, humility, openness, honesty, transparency, firm boundaries, and emotional maturity—and notes compulsive sexual behavior often co-occurs with mental health issues. 00:00 Conference Announcement 01:19 Podcast Welcome 03:41 Slow Down First 08:46 Boundaries Not Fixing 11:16 Marriage Myth Debunked 19:33 Leverage Before Marriage 26:18 Mental Health Underneath 28:41 Signs of Real Recovery 36:03 Avoid Codependency 40:15 Hopeful Closing Support the show SA Lifeline Foundation SAL 12 Step Find an SAL12Step Meeting Donate Contact to ask questions or make comments Transcripts

Questions or feedback? Leave your email here. Host Tara McCausland speaks with Dr. Jill Manning about empowering singles to prevent pornography problems through education, value clarification, and open communication. Manning rejects the narrative that “all men look at porn,” noting both genders can struggle and that “common” doesn’t mean healthy; she warns that this belief enables use and often causes individuals to abandon personal values or ignore discomfort around pornography use. She advises bringing the topic up in dating situations after some trust is built, prepping with other meaningful discussion topics, and paying attention to a person's comfort and authenticity around the subject of pornography. Manning explains pornography use is never a "small issue" because it consistently undermines healthy relationship development citing research linked to porn use and relationship dissatisfaction and increased divorce risk. 00:00 Conference Announcement 01:20 Meet Dr. Jill Manning 02:36 Why This Topic Matters 05:20 Jill’s Experience: Dating and Talking About Pornography 10:21 Myth: Everyone Does Porn 15:36 Clarifying Values and Ethics 25:23 Research and Real World Harms 28:40 How to Bring It Up in Dating 36:47 Why It’s Never a Small Issue 42:05 Part Two Teaser and Wrap Support the show SA Lifeline Foundation SAL 12 Step Find an SAL12Step Meeting Donate Contact to ask questions or make comments Transcripts