Advertise on podcast: The Other Woman And The Wife

This week on TOWTW Podcast, Chelsea continues her conversation with Claire and gets into the part of their story that is much more personal — how their friendship began during one of the most isolating seasons of Chelsea’s life. After losing her brother, ending her marriage, and watching much of her established community disappear, Chelsea found herself grieving losses the world did not always recognize or make space for. Chelsea and Claire talk about what it means to lose your place in a community, to be seen differently by people who once loved you, and to carry grief that others think you should not be allowed to have. They also unpack why Claire was able to meet Chelsea without judgment — and how Claire’s own family history may have shaped the way she understood a woman whose life no longer fit the acceptable script. This episode is about the people who stay, the people who see you when others cannot, and the kind of friendship that can help rebuild a life after everything familiar has changed. It is also a reminder that the losses you experience after making a difficult choice are still losses — and the grief is still real.  SUBMIT YOUR OWN STORY: https://towtw.com/contact-tell-your-story ASK US A QUESTION: We answer questions from other women and wives on our podcast. Submit yours here: https://towtw.com/ask OFF THE RECORD: Need a place to ask the questions you don’t want to ask publicly? Explore Off the Record here: https://towtw.com/ask-towtw HOW WE CAN HELP: Apply for 1:1 Coaching: https://towtw.com/coaching OUR LINKS: Website: https://towtw.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theowandthewife/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theowandthewife

This week on TOWTW Podcast, Chelsea sits down with her friend Claire to tell the story of a love that was never supposed to happen. Claire’s mom was engaged to someone else when she met Eddie on a cruise — and what started as an unexpected connection became the relationship that changed everything. Claire shares how her parents met, how Eddie pursued her mom from California while she was still trying to make sense of the life she was expected to choose, and the journal he kept while waiting for her to decide what she truly wanted. Chelsea and Claire unpack what it means to choose the life that does not fit the script, what can exist on the other side of an “unacceptable” choice, and why some of the most meaningful parts of our lives may only exist because someone was willing to choose differently. Claire is living proof of that — her life exists because her parents refused the version of the story everyone expected them to follow. SUBMIT YOUR OWN STORY: https://towtw.com/contact-tell-your-story ASK US A QUESTION: We answer questions from other women and wives on our podcast. Submit yours here: https://towtw.com/ask OFF THE RECORD: Need a place to ask the questions you don’t want to ask publicly? Explore Off the Record here: https://towtw.com/ask-towtw HOW WE CAN HELP: Apply for 1:1 Coaching: https://towtw.com/coaching OUR LINKS: Website: https://towtw.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theowandthewife/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theowandthewife

For the final part of the Off the Record series, Chelsea pulls back the curtain on why OTR was built, how it works, and what it is actually designed to do. In this episode, she shares the gap she kept seeing between the hundreds of private messages coming in from women who needed somewhere to say the thing they had never said out loud — and the reality that one person can only be in so many conversations at once. That gap became Off the Record. Chelsea explains why OTR was designed to be anonymous, judgment-free, and centered around helping you find your own clarity instead of telling you what to do. It is built to hold the first room — the place where you can finally say the thought, question, or truth out loud before bringing it into coaching, a conversation with someone you trust, or deeper personal work. She also makes clear what OTR is not. It is not therapy, not a crisis service, and not a replacement for deeper coaching or professional support when that is what you need. Think of it as the room before the room. A private place to say the unsayable without shame, lectures, or judgment. OFF THE RECORD: If you’ve been wondering whether OTR is for you, you can start anonymously here: https://towtw.com/ask-towtw The first 20 messages are free. No login required. — — — SUBMIT YOUR OWN STORY: https://towtw.com/contact-tell-your-story/ ASK US A QUESTION: We answer questions from other women and wives on our podcast. Submit yours here: https://towtw.com/ask HOW WE CAN HELP: Apply for 1:1 Coaching: https://towtw.com/coaching OUR LINKS: Website: https://towtw.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theowandthewife/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theowandthewife

Not every hard moment needs a full coaching session. Sometimes you just need support right when something happens — before one thought turns into hours of spiraling. In this episode, Chelsea talks about the space between “I’m fine” and “I need deeper help.” It’s the moment when you don’t necessarily need a full session, but you also don’t want to sit alone with what you’re feeling until your next appointment. She explains why relying only on friends can create its own pressure. You may start wondering if you’ve reached out too many times, if you’re becoming “too much,” or whether your feelings are worth someone else’s time. That can leave you rationing support when you actually need it. Chelsea also makes an important distinction: Off the Record is not a replacement for coaching, deeper therapeutic work, or crisis support. It’s designed for the in-between moments — when you need somewhere private to process what’s happening right now without worrying about judgment, timing, or someone else’s emotional bandwidth. You shouldn’t have to do math about whether your feelings are worth someone’s time. OFF THE RECORD: Get private, anonymous support when you need somewhere to put the thought down: https://towtw.com/ask-towtw The first 20 messages are free. No login required. Continued access is $19/month. — — — SUBMIT YOUR OWN STORY: https://towtw.com/contact-tell-your-story/ ASK US A QUESTION: We answer questions from other women and wives on our podcast. Submit yours here: https://towtw.com/ask HOW WE CAN HELP: Apply for 1:1 Coaching: https://towtw.com/coaching OUR LINKS: Website: https://towtw.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theowandthewife/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theowandthewife

Some questions feel too uncomfortable, too embarrassing, or too revealing to say out loud. In this episode, Chelsea talks about the thoughts that can feel impossible to admit — wondering whether part of you feels relieved when his wife is difficult, questioning why his affection toward her hurts so much, asking whether you want to be caught, or even wondering if you would still want him if he were fully available. These questions can sound harsh when they stay trapped inside your head, but Chelsea explains why they are often less about being a “bad person” and more about trying to understand what you actually feel, need, and fear. She also explores the question underneath behaviors like checking his wife’s social media. Sometimes the real issue isn’t the wife at all. It’s the uncertainty of not knowing where you stand. The question you’re most afraid to ask may be the one that helps you understand yourself most clearly. OFF THE RECORD: If there’s a question you’ve never felt comfortable saying to another person, ask it anonymously here: https://towtw.com/ask-towtw The first 20 messages are free. No login required. — — — SUBMIT YOUR OWN STORY: https://towtw.com/contact-tell-your-story/ ASK US A QUESTION: We answer questions from other women and wives on our podcast. Submit yours here: https://towtw.com/ask HOW WE CAN HELP: Apply for 1:1 Coaching: https://towtw.com/coaching OUR LINKS: Website: https://towtw.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theowandthewife/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theowandthewife

There’s a difference between being discovered and choosing to disclose something on your own terms. In this episode, Chelsea talks about the constant low-level vigilance that can come with having an affair — the hidden messages, the fear of being found out, and the exhaustion of carrying something no one fully knows. She explains why discovery and disclosure are not the same thing. One happens to you. The other is something you choose, privately and safely, when you’re ready. Chelsea shares why saying the truth plainly, even once, can bring a kind of relief that secrecy never does. You don’t have to start by telling a friend, a sister, or someone in your everyday life. Sometimes the first step is simply letting the sentence exist somewhere outside of your own head. OFF THE RECORD: If there’s something you’ve never been able to say out loud, start anonymously here: https://towtw.com/ask-towtw The first 20 messages are free. No login required. — — — SUBMIT YOUR OWN STORY: https://towtw.com/contact-tell-your-story/ ASK US A QUESTION: We answer questions from other women and wives on our podcast. Submit yours here: https://towtw.com/ask HOW WE CAN HELP: Apply for 1:1 Coaching: https://towtw.com/coaching OUR LINKS: Website: https://towtw.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theowandthewife/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theowandthewife

You’ve typed the message. Your thumb is hovering over send. Maybe it’s angry. Maybe it’s too soft. Maybe it says everything you’ve been trying not to say. In this episode, Chelsea talks about what’s really happening in that moment before you hit send. Often, the urge isn’t just about the message itself. It’s about wanting immediate relief from uncertainty, reassurance, or some kind of reaction that makes the discomfort stop. She breaks down the difference between sending a message because you genuinely need information and sending one because you need an emotional response. Those two intentions can look very similar in the moment, but they usually require very different choices. Before the message goes to him, Chelsea suggests letting the unfiltered version go somewhere else first. Say the raw thing before you edit it, soften it, or turn it into something strategic. Sometimes, once you’ve expressed what you actually mean, the message you thought you needed to send changes completely. OFF THE RECORD: Before you send the text, say the real thing somewhere private first. Start anonymously here: https://towtw.com/ask-towtw The first 20 messages are free. No login required. — — — SUBMIT YOUR OWN STORY: https://towtw.com/contact-tell-your-story/ ASK US A QUESTION: We answer questions from other women and wives on our podcast. Submit yours here: https://towtw.com/ask HOW WE CAN HELP: Apply for 1:1 Coaching: https://towtw.com/coaching OUR LINKS: Website: https://towtw.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theowandthewife/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theowandthewife

Chelsea is kicking off a new six-part Off the Record series with a conversation about what happens when you’re carrying something enormous and have nowhere safe to put it. In this episode, she talks about the isolation that can come with being the other woman, the late-night spirals that happen when there’s no one you feel comfortable calling, and why keeping every thought trapped inside your own head can make it feel even louder. She also shares the story behind building Off the Record, an anonymous space designed for the questions, thoughts, and emotions that feel too difficult, embarrassing, or complicated to say out loud. No judgment, no performance, and no need to explain yourself perfectly. Sometimes you don’t need someone to fix everything. You just need somewhere safe to put the thought down. OFF THE RECORD: Have something you can’t say out loud? Start anonymously here: https://towtw.com/ask-towtw The first 20 messages are free. No login required. — — — SUBMIT YOUR OWN STORY: https://towtw.com/contact-tell-your-story/ ASK US A QUESTION: We answer questions from other women and wives on our podcast. Submit yours here: https://towtw.com/ask HOW WE CAN HELP: Apply for 1:1 Coaching: https://towtw.com/coaching OUR LINKS: Website: https://towtw.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theowandthewife/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theowandthewife

Chelsea is back with a personal update on where she’s been, what’s been happening behind the scenes, and what’s coming next for The Other Woman and The Wife. In this episode, she shares why the podcast has been a little quiet, what she’s been building in the meantime, and what listeners can expect from a new series of mini episodes, future podcast guests, and upcoming retreats in 2027. She also reflects on reaching more than a quarter of a million podcast downloads, the growth of the community, her recent writing on Substack, and some exciting opportunities that may be ahead. Most of all, this episode is a thank-you to everyone who has listened, supported, shared, worked with the team, or simply found something meaningful in this space. — — — SUBMIT YOUR OWN STORY: https://towtw.com/contact-tell-your-story ASK US A QUESTION: We answer questions from other women and wives on our podcast. Submit yours here: https://towtw.com/ask HOW WE CAN HELP: Apply for 1:1 Coaching: https://towtw.com/coaching OUR LINKS: Website: https://towtw.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theowandthewife/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theowandthewife

This week on TOWTW Podcast, Chelsea sits down with Andrew, who spent nearly two decades in a marriage that never gave him what he needed, including eight years watching a woman he had real feelings for come and go from a house across the street, unable to say a word to her. Andrew opens up about the religious upbringing that taught him sex was a sin, the wedding night that told him everything was about to go wrong, and what it's like to wake up every single morning with a pit in your stomach you can't explain. He and Chelsea unpack why men almost never have the language women do to describe what's missing in their marriages, the spiritual awakening that finally cracked him open, and the men's retreat that gave him permission to do what he'd known for years he needed to do. They also get into real friction over disclosure — whether telling the truth when divorce is already decided is integrity or its own form of cruelty. This conversation isn't about whether what Andrew did was right or wrong. It's about what happens when a man finally stops performing the life he was told to want, and starts asking who he actually is underneath it. SUBMIT YOUR OWN STORY: https://www.theotherwomanandthewife.com/submit ASK US A QUESTION: We answer questions from other women and wives on our podcast. Submit yours here: https://towtw.com/ask HOW WE CAN HELP: Apply for 1:1 Coaching: https://towtw.com/coaching OUR LINKS: Website: https://towtw.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theowandthewife/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theowandthewife

This week on TOWTW Podcast, Chelsea gets uncomfortably honest about the thing nobody in your situation is talking about — not what you did, but what it did to your sense of who you are. In this raw, solo episode, she unpacks the mirror moment: that brutal flash of self-recognition when you catch yourself doing something or thinking something and realize you would have judged someone for this a year ago. She breaks down the crucial difference between shame and guilt, why the identity you built on "I would never" was always going to crack under enough pressure, and what integration — not punishment, not performance — actually looks like when you're trying to find your way back to yourself. Because the real question underneath all of it isn't how you go back. It's who you are now that you know what you know. SUBMIT YOUR OWN STORY https://www.theotherwomanandthewife.com/submit OUR LINKS Website: https://towtw.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theowandthewife/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theowandthewife

This week on TOWTW Podcast, Chelsea sits down with Carolina and her husband Antonio — a public figure with a career built on reputation, who once considered becoming a Catholic priest, has been married three times, and has had affairs — and he showed up here, on record, to talk about all of it. This conversation is for the woman trying to decode her married affair partner, for the betrayed wife who keeps asking why, and for anyone who's ever wanted to understand what's actually happening beneath all those layers of conditioning, escape, and silence. They get into what it means to own your decisions publicly when the whole world is watching, why staying in a broken marriage doesn't protect your children — it just teaches them what dysfunction looks like — and why will he choose me? might be the wrong question altogether. Carolina says it best: it's less about you than you think. She means that as a mercy, not a dismissal. SUBMIT YOUR OWN STORY https://www.theotherwomanandthewife.com/submit HOW WE CAN HELP Apply for 1:1 Coaching: https://towtw.com/coaching OUR LINKS Website: https://towtw.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theowandthewife/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theowandthewife

This week on TOWTW Podcast, Chelsea goes solo to dismantle the questions she hears most from smart, self-aware people who are still completely spinning out. "Does he love me or am I delusional?" "Why won't she just let him go?" "What could I be doing differently?" "How could I do this to them?" "How do I prevent the pain for my children?" These questions feel important—like the answer would finally make everything hurt less. But Chelsea breaks down exactly what each one is doing to you, why they keep you stuck, powerless, or frozen in punishment mode instead of moving you forward. And then she hands you something better: the questions that can actually give you information you can use. This one's raw, direct, and deeply compassionate—because you deserve questions that help you see clearly, not ones that keep you analyzing someone else's marriage while your own life waits. SUBMIT YOUR OWN STORY https://www.theotherwomanandthewife.com/submit HOW WE CAN HELP Apply for 1:1 Coaching: https://towtw.com/coaching OUR LINKS Website: https://towtw.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theowandthewife/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theowandthewife

This week on TOWTW Podcast, Chelsea and returning guest Carolina Vilalva are having the conversation nobody wants to have — because it will piss people off. No contact has become the default advice for everything from toxic friendships to affairs, but is it actually healing us or just keeping us comfortable? They dig into the difference between creating space and declaring someone unworthy of repair, how a tool born in abusive relationships has quietly expanded into a cultural exile system, and what we're really teaching people when we call abandonment a boundary. Raw, personal, and more than a little uncomfortable — exactly the way we like it here. SUBMIT YOUR OWN STORY https://www.theotherwomanandthewife.com/submit HOW WE CAN HELP Apply for 1:1 Coaching: https://towtw.com/coaching OUR LINKS Website: https://towtw.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theowandthewife/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theowandthewife

This week on TOWTW Podcast, Chelsea and Carolina Vilalva dig into the jealousy nobody wants to admit they're drowning in—jealous of his wife's access, his timeline you weren't in, the version of him you never got to meet. But here's what jealousy in an affair is really telling you: it's fear of losing what you think you have mixed with desire for what you don't. Carolina breaks down the difference between jealousy (fear-driven) and envy (desire-driven), why affairs start with radical presence but devolve into surveillance and control, and how curiosity is the only antidote to the fear that's eating you alive. If you're spending more time managing jealousy than being present, you're not in a relationship—you're in a control project, and those always fail. SUBMIT YOUR OWN STORY https://www.theotherwomanandthewife.com/submit HOW WE CAN HELP Apply for 1:1 Coaching: https://towtw.com/coaching OUR LINKS Website: https://towtw.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theowandthewife/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theowandthewife