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What if people-pleasing isn't your personality, but a collection of invisible rules you learned years ago? CBT psychotherapist and confidence coach Ludovica Colella joins me to talk about the beliefs that can keep us prioritising other people at our own expense. In this episode, we discuss: The invisible rules behind people-pleasing How being constantly adaptable can erode your sense of self The difference between genuine kindness and helping to feel safe or accepted Why guilt doesn't necessarily mean you've done something wrong What can happen to relationships when you start setting boundaries Using the "broken record" technique to hold your ground Find Ludovica at lu-cole.com or on Instagram at @permissiontob.me. Find Suzanne at https://www.suzanneculberg.com/  Want to be a guest on The Nope Coach? Send Suzanne Culberg a message on PodMatch, here: https://podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/thenopecoach

What happens when being the reliable one stops being something you do and becomes who you believe you have to be? In this episode of The Nope Coach Podcast, I'm joined by Jennifer Kaufman, who spent more than 25 years in educational leadership while also being a caregiver, advocate, mother, grandmother and the person everyone knew they could rely on. Then, at 61, she walked away from her career as a school principal to pursue the work she truly wanted to do. We talk about burnout, over-functioning, boundaries, identity and what Jennifer calls "burnout dressed up as competence", when you're exhausted but keep proving how capable you are by doing even more. We also talk about: • Why being capable can become a trap • Knowing when it's time to make a change • The difference between helping and rescuing • Why you don't have to keep climbing the career ladder • Making a plan when fear tells you to stay put • Letting go of stuff, responsibilities and identities you've outgrown • Becoming a grandparent to an autistic child and learning to support rather than take over • Why kindness needs to include yourself too Just because you can carry it doesn't mean it's yours to carry. Find out more about Jennifer here: https://jenkaufman.com/ Find out more about Suzanne here: https://www.suzanneculberg.com/  Want to be a guest on The Nope Coach? Send Suzanne Culberg a message on PodMatch, here: https://podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/thenopecoach

What if some of the things you believe about yourself aren't actually facts? "If I say no, I'm difficult." "If I change my mind, I've failed." "I've already put so much time into this, so I have to keep going." They might feel true, especially when you've been telling yourself the same story for years. But feeling true and being true are two very different things. In this episode of The Nope Coach Podcast, I'm joined by Dr. Lauren Fine, a physician, medical educator, coach and recovering people-pleaser, to talk about the stories we mistake for facts and how they can keep us stuck. We talk about people-pleasing, saying no without guilt, changing direction, sunk cost fallacy, identity, overthinking and why highly competent people can be particularly bad at choosing themselves. Lauren also shares her simple "camera test" for separating what actually happened from everything your brain has added afterwards. Because "they haven't replied to my message" is a fact. "They're ignoring me because I've done something wrong" is a story. We also talk about: • Why changing your mind doesn't mean you've failed • The grief that can come with changing careers or identities • Why past experience isn't wasted just because you choose a different path • When saying no needs an explanation and when it doesn't • How to challenge the stories keeping you stuck If there's something you've been telling yourself you can't do, can't change or have to keep doing, this episode might leave you asking: Is that actually true, or is it just a story you've been telling yourself for a really long time? Connect with Lauren here: https://laurenfine.com/ Connect with Suzanne here: https://www.suzanneculberg.com/  Want to be a guest on The Nope Coach? Send Suzanne Culberg a message on PodMatch, here: https://podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/thenopecoach

Have you ever looked after everyone else so well that you forgot how to look after yourself? In this episode of The Nope Coach Podcast, I'm joined by Holly Fair for an honest conversation about self-abandonment, people pleasing, confidence, identity, and what it really takes to start trusting yourself again. After surviving childhood abuse, divorce, infertility and the loss of a baby, Holly found herself disconnected from the person she used to be. Then she made an unexpected decision. She wore a crown every single day for nearly two years. It wasn't about getting attention. It became a daily practice of showing up differently, taking up space, and becoming the person she wanted to be before she fully believed she could. We talk about: what self-abandonment actually looks like why confidence usually comes after action, not before it how people pleasing slowly disconnects you from yourself surviving other people's disappointment when you start setting boundaries why your identity changes through repeated actions, not positive thinking the stories we tell ourselves versus what's actually true finding your own version of "the crown" learning to take up space without apologising for it If you've ever struggled to say no, found yourself shrinking to keep everyone else comfortable, or wondered how to rebuild self-trust after difficult experiences, this conversation is for you. Connect with Holly here: https://www.fireuplife.com Connect with Suzanne here: https://www.suzanneculberg.com

What looks like generosity isn't always generosity. Sometimes it's people-pleasing dressed up as "going above and beyond." In this episode, I'm joined by membership expert Krista Miller to talk about one of the biggest traps online business owners fall into: believing they need to keep adding more content, more calls, more access and more support to make people happy. We explore why overdelivering often leads to burnout rather than better results, how memberships can become unsustainable when they're built around fear instead of confidence, and why your community usually needs less from you than you think. If you've ever caught yourself wondering whether you're doing enough, this conversation is for you. In this episode: Why overdelivering can actually be people-pleasing How to spot when you're building a business you secretly resent The myth that members always want "more" Why community matters more than constant new content How to grow a membership without becoming available 24/7 What healthy boundaries look like inside a business Why experimenting, changing your mind and scaling back is sometimes the best thing you can do Krista Miller helps membership owners attract and retain members through simple, sustainable marketing strategies. She's also the host of the Membership Momentum Summit, register for free here: https://suzanneculberg--summitinabox.thrivecart.com/membership-momentum/665f8ff8164e2/ (affiliate link)

Have you ever tried so hard to say the right thing that you stopped sounding like yourself? After reading yet another polished podcast pitch, I realised the biggest mistake most people make isn't saying the wrong thing. It's editing themselves out of the conversation. In this episode, I explore why people connect with authenticity over perfection, how people-pleasing can creep into the way we communicate, and why being memorable has far more to do with being human than being polished. Whether you're applying for jobs, pitching yourself for opportunities, dating, or simply trying to be understood, this episode will encourage you to stop hiding behind the "perfect" version of yourself. In this episode: Why polished doesn't always mean memorable How people-pleasing shows up in everyday communication The hidden cost of trying to say the "right" thing Why authenticity builds stronger connections A simple mindset shift to help you communicate with more confidence If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love The Done Diaries, my private audio series inside The Done Era, where I share regular solo reflections, insights, and truth bombs you won't hear anywhere else. Join here: https://www.skool.com/the-done-era-9863/about

If you've ever wondered whether you're setting a healthy boundary... or just giving in because you're exhausted, this episode is for you. Nathan Graham, author of Why Won't He Just Log Off?, joins me for a conversation that starts with video games but quickly becomes something much bigger. We explore why excessive gaming is often a symptom rather than the problem itself, how parents accidentally slip into people pleasing with their children, and why keeping the peace isn't always the same as building connection. This isn't an episode about banning screens or blaming parents. It's about understanding what's really going on underneath the behaviour, holding boundaries without guilt, and remembering that being a good parent doesn't mean keeping your child happy every minute of the day. In this episode we discuss: • Parenting and people pleasing • Healthy boundaries with children • Screen time and video game addiction • The emotional needs gaming can fulfil • Why punishment often backfires • Connection versus control • How guilt influences parenting decisions • Why understanding behaviour matters • The difference between hearing and listening • Helping kids build healthy habits around technology • What adults can learn from the way children use screens • Why the game is often the symptom, not the problem Whether you're raising gamers, teenagers, or simply trying to stop carrying everyone else's emotions, this conversation offers practical insights that reach far beyond screen time. Find out more about Nathan here: https://syntheticecho.ca/  Grab a copy of Nathan's book here: https://syntheticecho.ca/why-wont-he-log-off  Find out more about Suzanne here: https://www.suzanneculberg.com/  Want to be a guest on The Nope Coach? Send Suzanne Culberg a message on PodMatch, here: https://podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/thenopecoach

If you've ever felt responsible for everyone else's happiness, struggled to set boundaries, or found yourself saying yes when you really meant no, this conversation is for you. Paula Mathias, author of The Yes Test Method, joins me for a wide-ranging conversation about people pleasing, overcommitment, burnout, confidence, and why being the dependable one can come at a cost. We explore how women are conditioned to prioritise everyone else's comfort, why rejection isn't personal, and how learning to speak up can change everything. In this episode we talk about: • People pleasing and burnout in women • Why saying no feels so uncomfortable • The conditioning behind "good girl" behaviour • Boundaries without guilt • Speaking up and advocating for yourself • Why resentment builds when we avoid discomfort • Overthinking and worst-case scenarios • The fear of rejection and how to stop taking it personally • Why women often underestimate themselves • How to stop saying yes to everything Find out more about Paula here: https://paulamathias.com/  Find out more about Suzanne here: https://www.suzanneculberg.com/  Want to be a guest on The Nope Coach? Send Suzanne Culberg a message on PodMatch, here: https://podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/thenopecoach

Does online therapy actually work? Or is it just a pandemic hangover? Therapist Stephanie McAllister joins me to talk about virtual counselling, finding the right fit, crying on camera, car sessions, and why ChatGPT isn't a substitute for human support. In this episode we talk about: • Online therapy vs in-person counselling • Whether virtual counselling actually works • Doing therapy from your car (yes, really) • Why finding the right therapist matters • One bad experience doesn't mean therapy isn't for you • Small-town privacy and avoiding awkward supermarket encounters • Why tears aren't something to apologise for • The pros and cons of online counselling • Why ChatGPT isn't your therapist • Accessing specialist support from anywhere Find out more about Stephanie here: https://virtualconnect.ca/  Find out more about Suzanne here: https://www.suzanneculberg.com/  Want to be a guest on The Nope Coach? Send Suzanne Culberg a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/thenopecoach

After more than 500 episodes of the Nope Coach Podcast, I found myself reflecting on how much has changed, not just in my business, but in the kinds of conversations I want to have. In this episode I talk about: why public spaces can make deeper conversations harder the difference between reach and resonance the pressure to keep creating for consistency's sake craving smaller, more honest spaces online why I created the Done Diaries inside The Done Era letting things evolve instead of forcing them to stay the same forever This isn't a dramatic goodbye episode. It's more of an honest conversation about creativity, visibility, business, vulnerability, and what happens when you realise you don't want to keep creating the same way just because you always have. If you've been listening and thinking, "I wish there was somewhere for deeper conversations like this," that's honestly what we've been building inside The Done Era. The Done Diaries are private podcast-style episodes where I share the deeper, messier, more human conversations that don't always fit neatly into public content. You can learn more here: https://www.skool.com/the-done-era-9863/about

A few years ago, someone dared me to start doing intuitive readings. I thought it was ridiculous. Somehow, it turned into its own body of work. In this episode I discuss: • How I accidentally started I Know Things • Going from medical school to oracle cards • Why I'm deeply skeptical of performative spirituality • Intuition vs anxiety vs pattern recognition • The weird experience of knowing things before you can explain them • Why I finally created a dedicated I Know Things community Want to join I Know Things? https://www.skool.com/i-know-things-2177/about

Thinking about hiring a coach? Listen to this first. Not all coaching is safe, and the red flags don't always look like red flags. In this episode, I break down what to watch for so you don't abandon yourself in the process. Find out more about Suzanne here: https://www.suzanneculberg.com/ Want to be a guest on The Nope Coach? Send Suzanne Culberg a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/thenopecoach

In this episode I'm joined by Eve Hall and we talk about where people pleasing actually starts and how early messages shape your ability to say no later in life. We cover: how being taught to "be nice" can override your natural boundaries why forcing kids to hug/kiss people isn't as harmless as it seems mixed messages around body autonomy and consent how this shows up in adult relationships and communication why saying no can feel so uncomfortable… especially in intimate situations the link between silence, avoidance, and disconnection Find out more about Eve here: https://pleaseme.online/ Find out more about Suzanne here: https://www.suzanneculberg.com/  Want to be a guest on The Nope Coach? Send Suzanne Culberg a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/thenopecoach

Most people don't have a knowledge problem. They have a follow-through problem. In this episode, I'm calling out the ways we avoid doing what we already know…overthinking, over-planning, and hiding in "learning mode." If you've been circling something for weeks, this is your nudge. Pick one thing. Decide what done looks like. Then do it. Messy counts. Showing up counts. Want help with that? I've created Do The Thing A simple co-working space where you actually follow through. Twice a week: Say what you're doing Mute Do it Report back Join here: https://www.skool.com/do-the-thing-8052/about

Join The Done Era: https://www.skool.com/the-done-era/about  If this resonated, don't just listen. Come inside and be part of the conversation. What if the beliefs shaping your life… aren't actually yours? In this episode I'm joined by writer and decision-making coach Stephanie Polo, and we dive straight into one of the most unexpected stories I've ever heard: the time she showered naked with 50 strangers in the woods… and how that moment completely changed the way she saw her body and belonging. From there the conversation opens up into something much bigger. We talk about the cultural narratives many of us inherit without questioning them. Stories about success, about bodies, about parenting, about careers, about what we're "supposed" to want. Because once you start noticing those stories, you realise something important. You don't actually have to keep living them. This conversation explores how to interrogate those inherited narratives, reconnect with your own values, and make decisions that actually align with the life you want to live. In This Episode We Talk About How diet culture shapes our beliefs about ourselves from a young age The difference between fitting in and belonging Why women are often conditioned to ignore their body's signals The powerful distinction between hurt vs harm How boundaries can hurt people's feelings without harming them Why over-functioning and "helping" can quietly become enabling The sunk cost trap (and why staying miserable isn't the solution) Why so many women struggle to say the words: "I want…" Find out more about Stephanie here: https://www.speirolo.com/ Find out more about Suzanne here: https://www.suzanneculberg.com/