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Same Enneagram number, completely different behavior? Your subtype explains why. Learn the 3 instincts and which one gets your attention and energy. A listener asked us to go deeper on Enneagram subtypes (also called instincts), so we are circling back. Your number tells you what motivates you. Your subtype shows where you naturally focus. Social (the teamers): Asks “Do I belong here?” Reads the room, notices who is included or left out, and cares about group dynamics. The blind spot is overfocusing on fitting in and reputation. One-to-One (the hunters): Looks for chemistry, intensity, and deep connection. Passionate and energized, but can chase intensity or mistake it for intimacy. This is not about sex or romance. It applies to friendships, work, hobbies, and creativity. Self-Preservation (the farmers): Asks “Am I okay?” Focused on resources, comfort, stability, and being prepared. The blind spot is overpreparing and putting comfort ahead of growth. You will also hear:  How the 3 instincts stack in each of us  Why your dominant instinct feels automatic while your third one feels like avoidance  Self-check questions for each instinct to help you find your own  Why the same number can look so different from person to person Damon and Kelly share their own subtype experiences, including how a social 8 can look nothing like the stereotype. Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997 Follow us on Spotify and leave a review: https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Grief isn’t only about death. Every big change can be a loss, and each Enneagram type needs something different to grieve in a healthy way. In part 2 of our grief series, Damon and Kelly walk through all 9 Enneagram types. You’ll hear what each type needs, the invitation each one can accept, and how to use your arrows (growth directions) when grief gets messy. Why change, even happy change, can bring grief: a new house, a different car, an empty nest, a milestone birthday. What each type needs when grieving:  Type 1: Permission to grieve imperfectly, with help from the 4 and the 7  Type 2: Someone who asks how you’re doing, plus boundaries from the 8  Type 3: Rest instead of performing, and a move toward the 9  Type 4: Feeling deeply without becoming the grief  Type 5: Support and connection without isolating  Type 6: Reliable people, honest information, and one small daily action  Type 7: Staying with the hard feeling before reaching for the silver lining  Type 8: Safe people who can see your tender side  Type 9: Taking up emotional space and answering “how are you” honestly If you’re walking through loss right now, or want to support someone who is, this episode gives you practical, type-specific ways to move forward without carrying grief into your next chapter. New episodes of Beyond Your Number every Wednesday. Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997 Follow us on Spotify and leave a review: https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Grief looks different for every Enneagram type. Damon and Kelly walk through how all 9 types cope with loss and what each one needs to heal. Damon's father-in-law recently passed away after a short illness, so this conversation is honest and still raw. Kelly, a former counselor, explains the stages of grief and why they rarely move in a straight line. Grief is not only about death. Moves, lost pets, and changes we can't control all count, so this episode applies even if you haven't had a recent loss. Here is what each type tends to do: Type 1 tries to handle grief "correctly" and can skip the heart. T ype 2 takes care of everyone else and forgets themselves.  Type 3 keeps working through the to-do list and needs rest built in. Type 4 feels the loss deeply but can end up isolated.  Type 5 pulls inward and needs a safe person or group.  Type 6 plans for the worst case and can bypass their feelings. Type 7 keeps things light for everyone and avoids the quiet.  Type 8 stays strong for others and needs space to cry.  Type 9 tries not to make it harder on anyone and can quietly disconnect. You will also hear why grief can show up as anxiety, numbness, brain fog, or physical symptoms, why the second year can be as tender as the first, and why you don't have to walk through it alone. Kelly also shares two short resources, the book Good Grief and the daily meditation guide Praying Through Your Losses. This is Part 1 of a short series on the Enneagram and grief. Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997 Follow us on Spotify and leave a review: https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Enneagram Types 5 through 9 each need a different way to journal. Damon and Kelly break down what actually works for each type. The 5 learns to journal like a researcher, connecting what they notice to how they actually feel. The 6 names fears, separates facts from anxiety, and builds evidence they can trust themselves. The 7 needs journaling to feel like an adventure instead of a chore, with quick prompts instead of a blank page. The 8 just needs permission to write the honest truth, no prompts required. The 9 uses journaling to finally hear their own voice above everyone else's opinion. Kelly shares her own daily journaling practice after almost 20 years, and Damon asks the questions you are probably thinking. Whether you journal every day or have not started yet, this episode gives you a starting point built for your number. This is Part 2 of a two part series. Catch up on Part 1 covering Types 1 through 4 in the previous episode. New episodes of Beyond Your Number drop every Wednesday. Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997 Follow us on Spotify and leave a review: https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Journaling isn't one-size-fits-all. Damon and Kelly break down how each Enneagram type can journal in a way that actually fits how they process life, not a blank page that feels intimidating. Type 1, the editor, often turns journaling into another place to self-critique. Kelly introduces The Appreciation Journal, built around gratitude and release instead of another list of self-improvement goals. Type 2, the relational journaler, tends to fill the page with everyone else. This episode introduces The Me Journal, a space built entirely around a 2's own feelings, needs, and wants. Type 3, the time traveler, is a natural list maker, even in a journal. Kelly shares why The Experience Journal, like a 5-year journal, helps 3s track feelings instead of accomplishments. Type 4, the poet, needs room to create, not a lined page and a prompt. This episode covers The Creative Journal, and why a 4's page might look more like art than words. Damon also shares a story about his wife's six years of daily journaling about their son, and why she stopped exactly when she did. Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997 Follow us on Spotify and leave a review: https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Type 7s avoid pain with positivity. Type 8s avoid vulnerability with anger. Type 9s avoid conflict by disappearing.  Damon and Kelly wrap up the Feelings series by covering three types in one episode. Type 7s outrun grief and sadness by staying focused on the positive, but the difficult emotions catch up eventually. Type 8s use anger as a bodyguard for fear, hurt, and betrayal underneath. Type 9s go quiet on their own preferences and avoid conflict to keep the peace, even internally. For each type, they walk through what the avoidance sounds like day to day, questions to ask yourself, and healthy practices to start processing instead of pushing feelings aside. Kelly's line from this episode says it best: feelings are fast, they catch up. This closes out the four part Feelings series. Catch up on Types 1 and 2, 3 and 4, and 5 and 6 if you missed them. Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997 Follow us on Spotify and leave a review: https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Enneagram 5s and 6s share the same core fear, but it shows up in almost opposite ways. Damon and Kelly dig into what each type quietly avoids feeling and why. For 5s, the struggle is vulnerability and the fear of not knowing. Instead of processing emotions, 5s often retreat into their heads, gather more information, or withdraw and isolate. Damon and Kelly talk through what it actually looks like to notice emotion in the body instead of just thinking about it, and why sharing something before you have it all figured out is a growth step for this type. For 6s, the fear is less obvious. It is not trusting safety or calm when it shows up. Healthy 6s can feel unsettled by good news because their brain is scanning for what could go wrong next. Damon and Kelly unpack the difference between evidence based fear and imagined fear, and how celebrating past resilience helps 6s build real trust in themselves. Whether you are a 5, a 6, or you live or work with one, this episode gives practical language and questions to help both types move toward more emotional health. This episode is part of an ongoing series looking at the feelings each Enneagram type tends to avoid. Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997 Follow us on Spotify and leave a review: https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Threes and Fours process feelings in opposite directions: one moves fast to outrun them, the other gets pulled under by them. This episode breaks down both. For Type 3, failure is the feeling that's hardest to sit with, along with sadness, shame, and a quiet sense of emptiness. Kelly explains why "I'm fine" is rarely the whole story for a Three, and Damon and Kelly dig into questions like who am I without accomplishing something and what emotion did I push aside this week. Type 4 struggles in the opposite direction. Contentment and ordinary happiness are the hard feelings to access. Fours also tend to become their emotions ("I am sad") instead of experiencing them ("I feel sad"), which makes it harder to move through what they're feeling. Kelly offers a reframe that helps separate the emotion from identity. Both types get practical tools: journaling that tracks feelings instead of to-do lists, letting trusted people see the real version of you, and building in rest that doesn't have to be earned. If you're a Three or a Four, or you love one, this episode gives language for what's happening under the surface and a few questions worth asking yourself this week. Next week: Types 5 and 6. Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997 Follow us on Spotify and leave a review: https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Every person has feelings they would rather not feel. This new series starts with Ones and Twos and the emotions running quietly under the surface. For Type 1, anger usually shows up first, but it is a secondary emotion. Underneath it you will often find hurt, exhaustion, and disappointment. Kelly walks through the questions that help a One name what is really going on, like what am I actually angry about and where am I holding myself to an impossible standard. Type 2 tends to track everyone else's feelings while staying disconnected from their own. The tell is a quiet "I'm okay" after a night of pouring into everyone else. The key question for a Two is simple but hard: what do I actually need right now? Damon (a Nine who claims to have no feelings) and Kelly keep it honest and a little funny as they break down what processing an emotion actually looks like: pausing, naming it, noticing it in your body, and taking a next step. If you have a One or a Two in your life, or you are one, this is a practical look at the feelings that drive behavior and how to work with them instead of around them. Next week: Types 3 and 4. Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997 Follow us on Spotify and leave a review: https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Wrapping up the summer series with the final three types: 7, 8, and 9. Learn how Enneagram Sevens, Eights, and Nines each define an ideal summer, and where their growth edge shows up along the way. Sevens want freedom, variety, and adventure. Damon and Kelly talk through last-minute trips, festivals, boat days, and why FOMO hits hard for a Seven stuck in a routine. The growth edge: slow down, stay present, and finish what you start. Eights bring big energy and intensity to everything they do. Lake weekends, competitive games, and international travel are Eight favorites, along with a real need to let others take the lead sometimes. The growth edge: rest without guilt and make space for emotions. Nines crave comfort, ease, and simple pleasures. Think porches, easy road trips, and backyard barbecues. Damon shares a personal story about nearly opting out of a family vacation decision altogether. The growth edge: initiate plans, speak up for what you want, and stay engaged instead of drifting. Whether you're a 7, 8, 9, or just trying to understand the people around you this summer, this episode closes out the series with practical, relatable takeaways for every number. New episodes every Wednesday. Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997 Follow us on Spotify and leave a review: https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

What does a perfect summer look like for Enneagram Types 4, 5, and 6? Damon and Kelly break down how each type actually wants to spend the season, from road trips to rainy days. Type 4s want a summer with depth and beauty, not just another trip everyone else is taking. Kelly shares why Fours crave meaningful experiences over trendy ones, and how to find joy even when plans don't go perfectly. Type 5s need a low key summer with room to recharge. Hear why solo road trips, quiet lake mornings, and stargazing appeal to Fives, plus why connection still matters even for the most independent type. Type 6s want a summer that's planned, prepared, and safe. Damon and Kelly talk contingency plans, dependable traditions, and why a little planned spontaneity might be exactly what a Six needs. Whether you're a 4, 5, 6, or vacationing with one, this episode will help you understand what makes summer feel restful and good for each type. New episodes of Beyond Your Number every Wednesday. Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997 Follow us on Spotify and leave a review: https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Summer brings out a different side of every Enneagram type. In this episode, Damon and Kelly break down how Types 1, 2, and 3 approach summer break, vacations, and rest. Type 1s want a productive, well planned summer that still leaves room to relax. Type 2s crave connection through cookouts, lake days, and girls trips, but need to watch for burnout. Type 3s want a summer that looks as good as it feels, with bucket list trips and fitness goals, while learning to unplug from the need to perform. Damon and Kelly share real examples from their own friends, families, and trips, plus practical tips for each type to enjoy a more balanced summer. This is part one of a series. Types 4 through 9 are coming in future episodes. If you are new to the Enneagram or want help identifying which type fits you, this episode gives a clear picture of how personality shapes the way we rest, plan, and connect during the summer months. Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997 Follow us on Spotify and leave a review: https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Are you an Enneagram 2, 3, or 4? In this live episode, Damon and Kelly break down the heart triad and help you identify your type through a game of Enneagram bingo. Recorded in front of a live audience, this one covers the three heart types in depth. The Type 2 (the loving person), motivated by the need to be loved and to serve others. The Type 3 (the effective person), driven by achievement and the need to avoid failure. And the Type 4 (the original person), motivated by the need to be special and authentically understood. For each type you'll hear the superpower, the kryptonite, and the growth edge. Connection and overextension for 2s. Achievement and performance-based identity for 3s. Creativity and comparison for 4s. Plus practical ways to support each type at work, the difference between a Beaver 3 and a Peacock 3, why a 3's closet tells you they're not a 1, and a quick intro to wings for anyone whose bingo card came up half full. Whether you already know your number or you're still figuring it out, this episode gives you real language for understanding the people you live and work with. New episodes every Wednesday. DOWNLOAD THE HEART TRIAD BINGO CARD HERE Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997 Follow us on Spotify and leave a review: https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Every person you work with has a different way of thinking, deciding, and reacting under stress. The Enneagram gives you a map for all of it. Damon and Kelly recorded this live at the Homebase Conference in Columbia, Missouri, speaking to real estate professionals. But the framework they teach applies anywhere people are making decisions under pressure, whether that's a sales conversation, a negotiation, a team meeting, or a difficult client interaction. Every type shows up differently when the stakes are high. The Type 1 needs things done right. The Type 2 is thinking about everyone else at the table. The Type 3 wants to win and move fast. The Type 6 is already asking what could go wrong. They walk through all 9 types, the 3 centers of intelligence, and a practical framework called DEAL to help you communicate better, build trust faster, and reduce the friction that derails decisions. If you work with people, this one is for you. Topics covered: all 9 Enneagram types, gut/heart/head triads, reading people under stress, communication styles, the DEAL framework, Enneagram motivations. Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997 Follow us on Spotify and leave a review: https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa

Why does the same disagreement feel completely different to a Type 8 versus a Type 9? Your Enneagram type shapes how you react. Damon and Kelly walk through the knee-jerk conflict response for all nine Enneagram types and what to do instead. Plus, the 20-minute rule for getting untriggered. Quick guide to each type's conflict response: Type 1: Criticizes others or themselves  Type 2: Becomes overly helpful or manipulates  Type 3: Spins the situation to avoid failure  Type 4: Withdraws emotionally  Type 5: Detaches and goes silent  Type 6: Fires off endless questions  Type 7: Escapes through distraction or humor  Type 8: Intensifies and pushes harder  Type 9: Avoids, numbs, or accommodates What you will learn: The automatic conflict response baked into each type Why criticism, withdrawal, escape, or accommodation can damage relationships. How to pause and respond instead of react. Damon shares a moment where he told a room full of people "I am not where you all are" and why that one sentence worked better than silence or argument. Kelly explains how knowing your conflict response, and your team's, turns destructive arguments into constructive ones. Whether you are navigating a hard conversation at work, a disagreement with your spouse, or just trying to understand why your coworker shuts down while you want to push forward, this episode gives you a practical map. Mentioned in this episode: The Path Between Us by Suzanne Stabile New episodes every Wednesday. Follow us on Apple Podcasts and leave a review: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enneagramu/id1691530997 Follow us on Spotify and leave a review: https://open.spotify.com/show/2kbIVeByJn4WDoN3kFlUId?si=65a99542c46a49fa