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Send us Fan Mail Being a parent doesn't mean you're always right. And being your child doesn't mean their boundaries don't matter. Where do you draw the line between parenting and control? What happens when your children grow up, start making their own decisions, and expect the same respect you've always demanded from them? In this episode of The Mental Health Janitors, Sgt. Q and Doc Jess tackle the uncomfortable side of parenting, family boundaries, and personal accountability. From Sgt. Q's experience in the Marine Corps to a family conflict that pushes an 18-year-old to move out of his parents' home, this conversation challenges how we think about respect, authority, and responsibility. When a young adult starts paying rent but is still expected to surrender his personal space whenever relatives visit, is it a matter of respecting his parents' house or standing up for his own boundaries? Sgt. Q and Doc Jess examine both sides of the situation and explain why unclear expectations and broken agreements can damage family relationships. But this episode goes beyond one family's disagreement. Doc Jess explains why parenting needs to change as children grow older. The goal isn't to control every decision they make. It's to prepare them to make responsible decisions on their own. And that starts with parents being willing to recognize their mistakes, take ownership, and model the behavior they expect from their children. Because you can't teach accountability while refusing to practice it yourself. Episode Highlights 03:38 – When Your Personal Space Is Disrespected06:00 – Faith, Truth, and Taking Personal Accountability13:19 – When Parents Refuse to Respect Boundaries17:04 – Family Conflict: There's Always Another Side19:25 – Setting Boundaries Means Taking Ownership20:39 – Unspoken Expectations Can Destroy Family Trust23:49 – Stop Controlling Your Teens. Start Guiding Them.30:24 – Parents Make Mistakes Too. Own Them.Join the Conversation Be part of a growing community having real conversations about mental health, emotional intelligence, emotional regulation, anger management, relationships, parenting, therapy, trauma, PTSD, veteran mental health, healthy communication, boundaries, and personal growth. 🔗 Join our community: Facebook Group Listen on: 🎧 Spotify: The Mental Health Janitors 🎧 Website: thementalhealthjanitors.com 🎧 Apple Podcasts: The Mental Health Janitors Connect with Aaron "Sgt Q" Quinonez Website: sgtq.net Facebook: SgtQ13 LinkedIn: Aaron "Sgt Q" Quinonez Support the show

Send us Fan Mail What happens when you stop performing, stop carrying everything alone, and finally give yourself permission to be honest about what you’re feeling? In this episode of The Mental Health Janitors, Sgt. Q sits down with fellow Marine, coach, and founder of Contagious Healer, Minhdoan Ngo, for an honest conversation about vulnerability, trauma, emotional availability, brotherhood, and what it really takes to become a healthier version of yourself. Minhdoan shares how losing his father at a young age led both him and his brother to join the Marine Corps after high school. Although they both served, their experiences were very different. After returning home, Minhdoan watched his brother silently carry the weight of his deployment for nearly a decade before finally opening up about what he had experienced. That moment showed Minhdoan just how powerful vulnerability can be when someone finally feels safe enough to tell the truth about what they are carrying. Edit---Minhdoan-Ngo-Podcast That lesson became personal when Minhdoan's wife told him that although he was succeeding professionally, he was not emotionally available at home. He realized he had spent years looking for external validation, checking boxes, performing, and giving his best energy to everyone else while leaving very little for the person closest to him.  Throughout the conversation, they explore: How losing a parent can shape identity, direction, and the need for validationMinhdoan and his brother's very different experiences serving in the Marine CorpsWhy his brother kept his trauma and PTSD experiences private for nearly 10 yearsHow finding a safe community helped his brother finally share what he had been carryingWhy vulnerability can create space for healing, love, energy, and creativityThe difference between performing for others and becoming emotionally availableWhy men often feel like they have to carry everything aloneHow brotherhood and accountability can help men recognize unhealthy patternsWhy awareness is the first step toward creating a new story for yourselfHow unresolved emotions can show up in the bodyWhat it means to release emotion in a healthier, more intentional wayHow to respond differently when something triggers your fight-or-flight responseWhy learning to pause before reacting can change your relationshipsHow accountability groups can help men become better husbands, fathers, friends, and leadersThe importance of becoming the version of yourself you actually want your family to experienceMinhdoan also shares his Five-Minute Trigger Reset, a practical tool designed to help people slow down when they feel emotionally triggered instead of immediately fighting back, shutting down, or walking away. The goal is to stay present long enough for the emotional intensity to pass so you can respond as the version of yourself you actually want to be.  Later, he uses a powerful analogy for understanding the different parts of ourselves: imagine your mind as a boardroom filled with different versions of you, but there is only one microphone. The question becomes: Which version of yourself are you going to give the mic to? Whether you're carrying trauma from your past, struggling to be emotionally present in your relationships, trying to become a stronger husband or father, or simply tired of feeling like you have to figure everything out alone, this episode is a reminder that healing does not have to happen in isolation. 🎧 Tune in to discover how vulnerability, emotional awareness, brotherhood, and accountability can help you stop carrying everything alone and start becoming the person you were meant to be. Episode Highlights 01:38 – Why Sharing Your Story Can Help Someone Else Heal 02:09 – Meet Minhdoan Ngo 03:29 – Losing His Father & Joining the Marines With His Brother 04:57 – Two Brothers, Two Very Different Deployment Experiences 06:37 – The Moment His Brother Realized He Wasn't Alone 08:27 – Sgt. Q on Vulnerability, Service & Sharing Your Testimony 13:47 – Discovering the Power of Vulnerability 14:08 – External Validation, People-Pleasing & Emotional Availability 18:00 – Why Trauma Needs a Healthy Outlet 19:42 – Building Brotherhood, Accountability & New Patterns 21:19 – The Five-Minute Trigger Reset 25:57 – The “Boardroom in Your Mind” & Choosing Who Gets the Mic 27:26 – Creating a Brotherhood Where Men Feel Seen & Heard 29:50 – Minhdoan's Final Message of Hope Join the Conversation Be part of a growing community having honest conversations about mental health, trauma recovery, emotional resilience, leadership, relationships, faith, and personal growth. 🔗 Join our Facebook community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1988960518109166/ Listen to The Mental Health Janitors 🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0nPegvqPi1AO47Xbx3EvNz/ 🎧 Website: https://thementalhealthjanitors.com/ 🎧 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/the-mental-health-janitors/ Connect with Minhdoan Ngo 🌐 Website: https://www.contagioushealer.com/ 💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/minhdoanngo 🤝 Contagious Healer / Brotherhood: https://www.contagioushealer.com/ 🎁 Five-Minute Trigger Reset:  Minhdoan shares his Five-Minute Trigger Reset as a free resource and invites listeners who feel called to take the next step to explore his Brotherhood and schedule a discovery call.  Connect with Aaron "Sgt. Q" Quinonez 🌐 Website: https://sgtq.net/ 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SgtQ13 💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/keynotespeakerbusinessscalingcoachbetabloxjudgerealitystarpodcaster/ #TheMentalHealthJanitors #MensMentalHealth #VeteranMentalHealth #Brotherhood #Vulnerability #TraumaRecovery #PTSD #EmotionalHealth #MentalHealth #PersonalGrowth #Resilience #Leadership #EmotionalIntelligence #MentalWellness #SgtQ Support the show

Send us Fan Mail Who are you when your job, title, or past accomplishments no longer define you? In this episode of The Mental Health Janitors, Sgt. Q sits down with author, speaker, coach, and TEDx speaker David Chametzky for an honest conversation about identity, resilience, mental health, and the power of investing in yourself. Drawing from his own journey through therapy, personal struggles, and years of helping others, David shares why lasting transformation begins with clarity. Together, he and Sgt. Q explore how discovering your identity can change the direction of your life and why healing requires more than simply waiting for things to improve. Throughout the conversation, they explore: Why identity is the foundation of personal growthHow investing in yourself can change every area of your lifeThe difference between gathering information and taking actionWhy resilience is built through life's challengesHow small daily habits create lasting transformationThe importance of recognizing mental health struggles without shamePractical ways to reset during overwhelming momentsWhy purpose often becomes clearer after seasons of adversityDavid also shares one simple technique he teaches people to help them pause, refocus, and navigate stressful situations, but you'll have to listen to the full episode to discover how it works and why it has helped so many people. Whether you're rebuilding after hardship, searching for greater purpose, navigating anxiety, or simply wanting to become a stronger leader in your family, business, or community, this episode offers practical wisdom and hope for the journey ahead. 🎧 Tune in to discover how clarity, resilience, intentional action, and investing in yourself can help you build a healthier mind and a more purposeful life. Episode Highlights 00:00 – Finding Your Identity Beyond Performance 01:10 – Welcome to The Mental Health Janitors 02:15 – Meet David Chametzky 05:18 – Why Investing in Yourself Changes Everything 09:42 – Building Resilience Through Hardship 13:18 – A Practical Reset for Stress and Anxiety 17:02 – Turning Awareness into Action 20:41 – Why Clarity Creates Purpose 24:15 – David's Free Gift for the Audience 27:12 – A Final Message of Hope Join the Conversation Be part of a growing community having honest conversations about mental health, trauma recovery, emotional resilience, leadership, relationships, faith, and personal growth. 🔗 Join our Facebook community:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1988960518109166/ Listen to The Mental Health Janitors 🎧 Spotify:  https://open.spotify.com/show/0nPegvqPi1AO47Xbx3EvNz/ 🎧 Website:  https://thementalhealthjanitors.com/ 🎧 Apple Podcasts:  https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/the-mental-health-janitors/ Connect with David Chametzky 🌐 Website:  https://davidchametzky.com 🎙️ Podcast: Peace, Love & Bring a Bat Connect with Aaron "Sgt. Q" Quinonez Website:  https://sgtq.net/ Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/SgtQ13 LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/keynotespeakerbusinessscalingcoachbetabloxjudgerealitystarpodcaster/ #TheMentalHealthJanitors #MentalHealth #PersonalGrowth #Identity #Resilience #Leadership #SelfDevelopment #Purpose #MentalWellness #TraumaRecovery Support the show

Send us Fan Mail How do you clean up the mess in your head when your job, training, and past accomplishments are suddenly put to the ultimate test? In this episode of The Mental Health Janitors, Sgt. Q sits down with 24-year law enforcement veteran, author, and speaker Tom Lee for an honest conversation about trauma, resilience, and the profound power of faith in the aftermath of a life-or-death situation. Drawing from his own harrowing experience, Tom shares the true story of a 2019 mental health welfare check that escalated into a fight for his life against a suspect armed with a crossbow and a machete. Together, he and Sgt. Q, a disabled combat veteran who has faced his own battles with PTSD and homelessness, explore the heavy, often hidden toll of critical incidents.  They discuss the isolating reality of officer-involved shootings, the danger of maladaptive coping mechanisms, and why true healing requires more than just waiting for the physical wounds to close. Throughout the conversation, they explore: Why suppressing trauma is like putting a lid on a boiling pot (and how to finally turn down the heat).The grim reality of officer-involved shootings and the psychological isolation of subsequent criminal investigations.How split-second tactical decisions impact first responders long after the scene is cleared.The danger of bad coping habits and the importance of seeking healthy support.Why resilience is built through surrendering control and leaning on faith, not just trying to earn it through "good works."How reading scripture and understanding neuroscience can mirror each other in rewiring a traumatized brain.The human side of law enforcement and the universal journey we all share.Tom also shares the pivotal moment he realized he couldn't heal on his own, and the simple, profound shift in perspective that finally brought him peace, but you'll have to listen to the full episode to discover how this mindset change can transform your own mental health journey. Whether you're a first responder rebuilding after a critical incident, a veteran navigating PTSD, someone struggling with anxiety, or simply seeking hope and practical wisdom for your own mental health journey, this episode offers powerful encouragement for the road ahead. 🎧 Tune in to discover how faith, resilience, and honest conversation can help you clean up the mess in your head and build a healthier, more purposeful life. Episode Highlights 00:00 – How Do You Clean Up the Mess in Your Head? 01:13 – The 2019 Mental Health Call: A Dangerous Delusion 03:46 – The Attack: Crossbows, Machetes, and Split-Second Survival 06:20 – The Aftermath: Isolation and the Texas Rangers Investigation 09:10 – The Danger of Bad Coping Mechanisms 12:33 – The Turning Point: Finding Healing Through Faith 15:01 – Grace vs. Works: Why You Don’t Have to "Get It Together" First 18:00 – Inside "Scars of the Badge": Humanizing the First Responder Journey 19:27 – Tom’s Free Gift for the Audience 21:04 – A Final Message of Hope Join the Conversation Be part of a growing community having honest conversations about mental health, trauma recovery, emotional resilience, leadership, relationships, faith, and personal growth. 🔗 Join our Facebook community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1988960518109166/ Listen to The Mental Health Janitors 🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0nPegvqPi1AO47Xbx3EvNz/ 🎧 Website: https://thementalhealthjanitors.com/ 🎧 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/the-mental-health-janitors/ Connect with Tom Lee 🌐 Website & Free Book Chapter: www.scarsofthebadge.com 🎤 Book Tom for speaking engagements: [Placeholder] 📱 Social Media: [Placeholder] Connect with Aaron "Sgt. Q" Quinonez 🌐 Website: https://sgtq.net/ 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SgtQ13 💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/keynotespeakerbusinessscalingcoachbetabloxjudgerealitystarpodcaster/ #TheMentalHealthJanitors #MentalHealth #TraumaRecovery #FirstResponders #PTSD #FaithAndHealing #LawEnforcement #Resilience #PersonalGrowth #ScarsOfTheBadge #SpiritualGrowth #MentalWellness #SurvivalStory #SgtQ Support the show

Send us Fan Mail In this special episode of The Mental Health Janitors Podcast, Sgt Q sits down with eighth-grade student leaders from Mill Creek Middle School’s Class of 2030 for an honest conversation about mental health, leadership, and what it means to make a difference right now. These young leaders share the initiatives they care about, including clean water, teacher appreciation, mental health awareness, human trafficking awareness, and creating a stronger school community. But the conversation quickly goes deeper as the students open up about friendships, family communication, stress, grief, emotional expression, and what they wish adults better understood about teen mental health. Sgt Q also shares lessons from his own experiences with homelessness, mental health struggles, advocacy, and imposter syndrome, reminding the students that leadership does not begin someday in the future. It begins with the choices we make and the way we treat people today. In This Episode 2:04 – Why these students wanted to use their voices to make a difference 2:17 – Student-led initiatives focused on clean water, teacher appreciation, mental health, and human trafficking awareness   6:09 – How helping others can positively affect our own mental health 14:30 – Why young people need safe spaces to express what they are feeling 12:09 – The danger of constantly bottling up emotions 21:50 – What teens wish parents and adults understood about their mental health 23:17 – How family patterns around emotions can carry from one generation to the next 22:29 – Why listening without judgment can make such a difference 26:29 – The importance of giving young people grace and spending meaningful time with them 17:56 – How even a small conversation, smile, hug, or high five can impact someone’s day 18:58 – Sgt Q’s experience facing imposter syndrome and other emotional “giants” 20:54 – The power our words can have in helping someone see themselves differently A Message for Adults One of the strongest themes throughout the conversation is simple: be present and listen. The students share that sometimes they do not need someone to immediately fix the problem. They need someone who will sit with them, hear what they are feeling, and create a space where they can speak honestly without feeling judged or dismissed. As one student puts it, small conversations can have a huge impact. Leadership Starts Now These students are already showing that leadership is not about age or position. It can look like helping someone feel included, supporting a teacher, standing up for an important cause, raising awareness, checking on a friend, or simply choosing to treat someone with kindness. Their voices are a reminder that young people do not have to wait until adulthood to make an impact. Episode Dedication This episode is dedicated to the memory of Savali Kraft, an Air Force veteran and member of the Bulldog community. Sgt Q closes the episode by honoring her life, service, and the efforts of her family and community to advocate for her during a serious illness. The episode begins with a quote shared in her memory: “If life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, give life a thousand reasons to laugh.” Content Note This episode includes conversations about mental health, suicide loss, grief, human trafficking, homelessness, family conflict, and emotional distress. Some topics may be difficult for certain listeners. About The Mental Health Janitors The Mental Health Janitors Podcast is hosted by Aaron “Sgt Q” Quinonez and is focused on helping people clean up the mess in their head through real conversations about mental health, resilience, leadership, and personal growth. The mission is to educate, empower, and encourage listeners on their mental health journey. Join the Conversation Be part of a growing community having honest conversations about mental health, trauma recovery, emotional resilience, leadership, relationships, faith, and personal growth. 🔗 Join our Facebook community:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1988960518109166/ Listen to The Mental Health Janitors 🎧 Spotify:  https://open.spotify.com/show/0nPegvqPi1AO47Xbx3EvNz/ 🎧 Website:  https://thementalhealthjanitors.com/ 🎧 Apple Podcasts:  https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/the-mental-health-janitors/ Connect with Aaron "Sgt. Q" Quinonez Website:  https://sgtq.net/ Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/SgtQ13 LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/keynotespeakerbusinessscalingcoachbetabloxjudgerealitystarpodcaster/ Support the show

Send us Fan Mail What if music could do more than change your mood? In this episode of The Mental Health Janitors, Sgt. Q sits down with mental health professional, speaker, and music-based wellness educator Casey Muze for a powerful conversation about the connection between music, neuroscience, trauma recovery, and emotional well-being. Casey shares how his background in music, substance-use counseling, trauma support, and cognitive development led him to explore a different approach to mental health, one that brings together rhythm, body awareness, breathwork, and practical daily habits. Sgt. Q and Casey also discuss why healing is not simply about finding the right information. It requires consistency, action, and a willingness to keep practicing even when life feels calm. Throughout the conversation, they explore: How music may support the brain-body connectionWhy the words we use can influence the way we experience mental healthWhat happens when emotional reactions become part of our identityHow rhythm and repetition may support emotional regulationWhy healing looks different for every personThe role of faith, neuroscience, and practical action in personal growthHow to recognize what your body may be communicating during stressful momentsWhy healthy boundaries are an important part of emotional stabilityCasey also introduces a simple mental reset practice designed for moments of stress, confusion, or emotional overwhelm—but you’ll need to listen to the full conversation to learn how it works and how it connects with Sgt. Q’s own experience. Whether you are navigating anxiety, trauma, recovery, emotional triggers, or simply looking for healthier ways to manage stress, this episode offers a fresh perspective on what healing can look like. 🎧 Tune in to discover how music, movement, language, faith, and daily practice may help you develop your own rhythm for healing. Episode Highlights 00:00 – Finding Hope After the Struggle 01:18 – Welcome to The Mental Health Janitors 03:02 – Meet Casey Muze and His Journey 05:47 – The Moment Everything Changed 08:36 – Why Healing Requires Consistency 11:42 – Music, the Brain, and Emotional Wellness 14:38 – The Power of Language in Mental Health 18:01 – A Practical Tool for Stress and Emotional Regulation 21:09 – Faith, Neuroscience, and Personal Growth 24:47 – Casey's Final Message of Hope Join the Conversation Be part of a growing community having honest conversations about mental health, trauma recovery, emotional regulation, faith, relationships, leadership, and personal growth. 🔗 Join our Facebook community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1988960518109166/ Listen to The Mental Health Janitors 🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0nPegvqPi1AO47Xbx3EvNz 🎧 Website: https://thementalhealthjanitors.com/ 🎧 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/the-mental-health-janitors/ Connect with Casey Muze Learn more about Casey’s interactive Braced No More experience Website: https://caseyscadence.info Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/caseymuze/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CaseyMuzetheroyalspeaker https://bracednomore.info Connect with Aaron “Sgt. Q” Quinonez Website: https://sgtq.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SgtQ13 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/keynotespeakerbusinessscalingcoachbetabloxjudgerealitystarpodcaster/ #TheMentalHealthJanitors #MentalHealth #MusicTherapy #TraumaHealing #Neuroscience #EmotionalRegulation #BrainBodyConnection #Breathwork #FaithAndMentalHealth #PersonalGrowth Support the show

Send us Fan Mail Are You Creating Battles That Were Never There? What happens when a simple misunderstanding turns into a full-blown emotional battle? In this episode of The Mental Health Janitors, Sgt. Q and Doc Jess get real about emotional regulation, emotional maturity, anger management, assumptions, parenting, therapy, and the stories our brains create when we don't have all the information. The conversation starts with a real-life veteran community conflict where a simple Facebook interaction spirals into accusations, defensiveness, and escalating emotions. Sgt. Q steps in with a powerful reminder: “Many of us veterans already carry enough battles with us. We don't need to create new ones with people who were never fighting us in the first place.” From there, they unpack why we assign motives to other people, how our brains fill in the gaps when information is missing, and why emotional maturity means learning to pause before reacting. The conversation then takes a deeper turn into therapy and counter-transference, exploring why therapists need self-awareness and why even mental-health professionals can struggle with emotional regulation. Then comes an “Am I the A-hole?” story about a 17-year-old who destroys an expensive gaming chair in anger—and then asks his parents to replace it. Sgt. Q and Doc Jess break down teenage anger, parenting, boundaries, consequences, gaming, emotional control, and parental responsibility, including one of the most important lessons of the episode: All feelings are welcome. Not all behaviors are. And ultimately, this episode isn't just about a Facebook argument, a broken gaming chair, or an angry teenager. It's about learning to recognize when your emotions are driving the story—and taking responsibility for what you do next. 🎧 Tune in for a conversation about emotional regulation, mental health, parenting, relationships, therapy, and learning how to stop fighting battles that were never yours. Episode Highlights • 01:00 How One Video Triggered a Powerful Memory • 02:45 From Spiraling Down to Spiraling Up • 04:00 Turning Painful Experiences Into Stories That Help Others • 10:03 When a Simple Facebook Post Turns Into a Conflict • 12:23 The Danger of Assuming Malicious Intent • 18:23 Sgt. Q Steps Into the Battle • 23:09 Why Sometimes Someone Needs to Speak Up • 27:43 The Shocking “Future Therapist” Reveal • 30:57 Can an Emotionally Immature Person Help Others Heal? • 33:18 Counter-Transference and Therapist Self-Awareness • 35:37 Why Your Brain Fills in the Gaps • 37:57 Emotional Maturity Means Taking Ownership • 40:18 Feelings Are Welcome—But Not All Behaviors Are • 41:00 The Broken Gaming Chair: “Am I the A-hole?” • 44:59 Anger, Parenting & Consequences • 47:18 The Different Stages of Parenting • 49:24 Coaching Your Teen Instead of Controlling Them • 51:48 Is the Parent Responsible for the Problem? • 54:12 Setting Healthy Boundaries With Teenagers • 56:37 Why Teaching Others Helps You Learn • 58:55 The Lesson Behind the “Future Therapist” Join the Conversation Be part of a growing community having real conversations about mental health, emotional intelligence, emotional regulation, anger management, relationships, parenting, therapy, trauma, PTSD, veteran mental health, healthy communication, boundaries, and personal growth. 🔗 Join our community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1988960518109166/ Listen on: 🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0nPegvqPi1AO47Xbx3EvNz?si=d2cdfa086c32460c 🎧 Website: https://thementalhealthjanitors.com/ 🎧 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/the-mental-health-janitors/ Connect with Aaron "Sgt Q" Quinonez: Website: https://sgtq.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SgtQ13 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/keynotespeakerbusinessscalingcoachbetabloxjudgerealitystarpodcaster/ Support the show

Send us Fan Mail What do you do when the person who has always been the "strong one" suddenly needs you, and the moment the crisis passes, you completely fall apart?  In this powerful episode of *The Mental Health Janitors*, host Sgt. Q sits down with author and mental health advocate Pamela J. Wells for an honest conversation about severe depression, the hidden toll of caregiver burnout, and the profound power of simply being present.  Pam shares her deeply personal journey that began with her husband’s unexpected quintuple bypass surgery. While she rose to the occasion as a caregiver, the aftermath left her battling uncontrollable depression rooted in childhood trauma, ultimately leading to a suicide attempt and an eight-week hospitalization. Together, Pam and Sgt. Q, a combat veteran who has navigated his own battles with PTSD and suicidal ideation, explore why mental health must be treated with the same urgency as physical health. Pam also reveals how she turned her darkest season into a beacon of hope by interviewing nearly 30 people she met in the hospital, uncovering the universal truth about what people in crisis actually need. Throughout the conversation, they explore: Why caregiver burnout and suppressed trauma often lead to a delayed, severe mental health collapse.The importance of "firing" a therapist if you don't click, finding the right fit is crucial for healing.The #1 common thread among people with depression: the desire to be believed and treated with respect, not pity.Practical things to say (and NOT say) to someone struggling with depression.The neuroscience-backed power of a 15-to-20-second hug to release oxytocin and create genuine safety.Why you can't "fix" someone's depression, but you can love them through it.Pam reveals the one-word text her brother sent her after reading her book, and Sgt. Q shares a fascinating neuroscience "experiment" you can try with your own family today to instantly shift your nervous system from tense to relaxed. You won’t want to miss this simple, life-changing tool. 🎧 Tune in to discover how clarity, compassion, and intentional presence can help you or your loved ones navigate the darkest seasons of mental health and find a path toward healing. Episode Highlights 00:00 – Welcome to The Mental Health Janitors 00:11 – Pam’s Journey: Caregiver Burnout and Severe Depression 02:52 – The Breaking Point: Why We Must Seek Therapy Early 04:11 – Why Mental Health Belongs in School Curriculums 05:01 – Writing "In Their Shoes": Gathering 30 Unique Perspectives 07:25 – The #1 Thing People with Depression Actually Want 09:37 – Practical Tools: What to Say (and NOT Say) to a Depressed Loved One 11:05 – The Neuroscience of a 20-Second Hug (Oxytocin Release) 16:56 – Why This Book is for the Friends and Family, Too 18:42 – "Loving Me Through It": How Pam’s Husband Learned to Help 20:55 – Pam’s Book & Future Group Coaching Opportunities Join the Conversation Be part of a growing community having honest conversations about mental health, trauma recovery, emotional resilience, leadership, relationships, faith, and personal growth. 🔗 Join our Facebook community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1988960518109166/ Listen to The Mental Health Janitors 🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0nPegvqPi1AO47Xbx3EvNz/ 🎧 Website: https://thementalhealthjanitors.com/ 🎧 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/the-mental-health-janitors/ Connect with Pamela J. Wells Book: In Their Shoes by Pamela J. Wells (Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo) Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/ptwells Amazon Link: https://www.amazon.com/stores/Pamela-Wells/author/B0089QMFN2?ref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share&shoppingPortalEnabled=true Connect with Aaron "Sgt. Q" Quinonez Website: https://sgtq.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SgtQ13 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/keynotespeakerbusinessscalingcoachbetabloxjudgerealitystarpodcaster/ #TheMentalHealthJanitors #DepressionRecovery #MentalHealthAwareness #CaregiverBurnout #TraumaHealing #SuicidePrevention #MentalWellness #Oxytocin #PersonalGrowth #InTheirShoes #PamelaJWells #SgtQ #MentalHealthSupport #NeuroscienceOfHealing #EndTheStigma Support the show

Send us Fan Mail When Does Helping Your Child Become Hurting Them? What happens when a family getaway turns into an unexpected injury, a hospital visit, and a powerful lesson about accepting help? In this episode of The Mental Health Janitors, Sgt. Q and Doc Jess get real about community, resilience, parenting, independence, and emotional boundaries. The conversation takes a surprising turn with an “Am I the A-hole?” story about a mother who steps into her college-aged son’s job interview. Was she protecting him… or holding him back? They unpack the line between supporting and meddling, why parents struggle to let go, and how independence is built through experience. And the biggest lesson? You can’t control everything that happens. But you can control what you choose to carry. 🎧 Tune in for a conversation that might make you rethink how you help, parent, and handle life’s unexpected challenges. Episode Highlights • 07:29 When a Mental Health Getaway Goes Wrong • 13:32 Finding Connection Through Grief and Prayer • 21:01 An Unexpected Health Crisis • 28:17 The Power of Community • 31:20 Did Mom Go Too Far? • 37:08 When Protecting Your Child Becomes Meddling • 41:28 Nurturing vs. Overstepping • 50:58 Stop Carrying What You Can’t Control Join the Conversation Be part of a growing community having real conversations about mental health, emotional intelligence, relationships, conflict resolution, healthy communication, marriage, trauma, and personal growth. 🔗 Join our community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1988960518109166/ Listen on: 🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0nPegvqPi1AO47Xbx3EvNz?si=d2cdfa086c32460c 🎧 Website: https://thementalhealthjanitors.com/ 🎧 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/the-mental-health-janitors/ Connect with Aaron "Sgt Q" Quinonez: Website: https://sgtq.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SgtQ13 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/keynotespeakerbusinessscalingcoachbetabloxjudgerealitystarpodcaster/ Support the show

Send us Fan Mail What happens when the person tasked with taking care of everyone else completely forgets to take care of themselves? In this powerful episode of The Mental Health Janitors, host Sgt. Q sits down with Tammy Ward, a 24-year veteran of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP), for a raw and honest conversation about first responder trauma, the dangerous myth of "sucking it up," and the neurobiological power of speaking your truth. In 2014, Tammy faced a devastating shooting incident in her hometown that claimed the lives of three officers. As the operational NCO, she poured everything into supporting her team, masking her own pain with extreme running and suppressed emotions, until her body literally forced her to stop. Joining Sgt. Q, a combat veteran who has navigated his own battles with compounding trauma, Tammy breaks down why "silence is not resilience." Together, they explore how simply naming your emotions can reduce their negative impact by up to 50%, and why asking for help is the bravest thing you can do. Throughout the conversation, they explore: The hidden danger of "high-functioning" trauma responses, like over-exercising or emotional isolation.Why trauma has no hierarchy: Your worst day is your worst day, and your pain is always valid.The neurobiology of healing: How saying "A part of me feels..." instead of "I am..." can reduce symptom severity by 30–50%.The life-saving power of presence: Why a simple text message or showing up can break a destructive spiral of loneliness.Why refusing to ask for help actually robs your friends and family of the opportunity to strengthen their own mental resilience.Tammy also reveals a simple, free tool she uses to help busy humans reset their nervous systems in just seven days, including a specific journaling prompt that changes everything about how you carry other people's burdens. Plus, get an exclusive sneak peek into her upcoming book, The Unseen Scar. 🎧 Tune in to discover how brave conversations, intentional gratitude, and the simple act of showing up can help you or a loved one navigate the darkest seasons of trauma and find a path toward true healing. Episode Highlights 00:00 – The Struggle of Life After the Uniform 01:02 – Welcome to The Mental Health Janitors 01:33 – Tammy’s 24-Year RCMP Journey & The 2014 Tragedy 03:10 – The Breaking Point: When "Sucking It Up" Finally Fails 05:08 – The Myth of the "High-Functioning" Shell 07:44 – Trauma Has No Hierarchy: Validating Your Pain 09:35 – The Neuroscience of Naming Your Emotions (30–50% Reduction!) 12:30 – The Power of Presence: Why "Just Showing Up" Saves Lives 15:08 – The Bravest Thing You Can Do: Asking for Help 18:29 – Tammy’s Free Tool: The 7-Day Reset for Busy Humans 22:19 – Upcoming Book: The Unseen Scar Join the Conversation Be part of a growing community having honest conversations about mental health, trauma recovery, emotional resilience, leadership, relationships, faith, and personal growth. 🔗 Join our Facebook community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1988960518109166/ Listen to The Mental Health Janitors 🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0nPegvqPi1AO47Xbx3EvNz/ 🎧 Website: https://thementalhealthjanitors.com/ 🎧 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/the-mental-health-janitors/ Connect with Tammy Ward 🌐 Website: https://tammywardspeaks.com/ 💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tammy-ward-speaks/ 📖 Upcoming Book: The Unseen Scar (Coming Fall 2024) 🎤 Keynote Speaking & Coaching Inquiries: https://tammywardspeaks.com/keynotes-and-workshops/ Connect with Aaron "Sgt. Q" Quinonez 🌐 Website: https://sgtq.net/ 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SgtQ13 💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/keynotespeakerbusinessscalingcoachbetabloxjudgerealitystarpodcaster/ #TheMentalHealthJanitors #FirstResponderMentalHealth #RCMP #TraumaRecovery #SilenceIsNotResilience #PTSDAwareness #MentalHealthMatters #NeuroscienceOfHealing #EmotionalResilience #TammyWard #TheUnseenScar #SgtQ #MentalWellness #EndTheStigma #BraveConversations Support the show

Send us Fan Mail What happens when your life is suddenly upended, and you are forced to become the primary caregiver for an aging parent with no preparation or roadmap?  In this deeply empathetic episode of The Mental Health Janitors, host Sgt. Q sits down with caregiver advocate and coach Lydia Dyhin to discuss the overwhelming, often invisible reality of unexpected caregiving. Lydia shares her personal story of abruptly relocating her entire family to care for her mother after a sudden vascular dementia diagnosis. What began as an act of love quickly turned into a relentless cycle of mental overload, physical depletion, and emotional overwhelm.  Together, Lydia and Sgt. Q’a combat veteran who intimately understands the compounding weight of trauma,breaks down the dangerous myth that caregivers must reach a breaking point before seeking help. They explore the profound power dynamic shift that occurs when children become the parents, the insidious nature of "drifted grief," and the neurobiological science behind why simply changing how you name your emotions can reduce their negative impact by up to 50%.  Throughout the conversation, they explore: The sudden, lifealtering reality of the "power dynamic shift" when caring for an aging parent.Why reaching out for resources before you hit a crisis is the ultimate act of prevention.The 4 Pillars of Healing (Body, Mind, Emotions, and Spirit) and why neglecting one causes the whole system to collapse under pressure.The neuroscience of emotional regulation: How saying "A part of me feels..." instead of "I am..." separates emotion from identity, reducing symptom severity by 50%.Practical tools to combat caregiver burnout, including the "Care Command Journal" and daily selfcare resets.How to navigate the intense guilt and family resistance that often accompany tough care decisions, like transitioning a loved one to residential care.Lydia reveals a simple but profound mindset shift that can instantly alleviate the crushing guilt of asking, "Am I doing enough?",plus, she shares details about her transformative workshops and selfpaced programs designed specifically to help caregivers reclaim their identity.  🎧 Tune in to discover how pausing, regulating your nervous system, and embracing the truth that "you are enough" can help you navigate the hardest seasons of caregiving with grace, resilience, and preserved mental health. Episode Highlights 00:00 – The Unexpected Reality of Becoming a Caregiver 01:02 – Welcome to The Mental Health Janitors 02:05 – Lydia’s Story: A Sudden Vascular Dementia Diagnosis 04:02 – The Power Dynamic Shift: When Children Become the Parents 06:37 – Why You Don’t Need to Reach Crisis to Get Help 08:24 – The 4 Pillars of Healing: Body, Mind, Emotions, and Spirit 12:12 – Navigating "DripFed Grief" and Caregiver Resentment 14:12 – Lydia’s Tool: The SelfCare Guide & Care Command Journal 17:01 – Navigating Guilt and the Transition to Residential Care 21:33 – Live Workshops vs. SelfPaced Programs for Caregivers 24:14 – The Neuroscience of Naming Your Emotions (50% Reduction!) 27:08 – A Message of Hope: "You Are Enough" Join the Conversation Be part of a growing community having honest conversations about mental health, trauma recovery, emotional resilience, leadership, relationships, faith, and personal growth. 🔗 Join our Facebook community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1988960518109166/ Listen to The Mental Health Janitors 🎧 Spotify:https://open.spotify.com/show/0nPegvqPi1AO47Xbx3EvNz/ 🎧 Website:https://thementalhealthjanitors.com/ 🎧 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/thementalhealthjanitors/ Connect with Lydia Dyhin 🌐 Website: https://www.calmacaregivers.com 🎓 Caregiver Workshops & Self Paced Programs:  Workshops: https://www.calmacaregivers.com/when-caregiving-feels-heavy Programs: https://www.calmacaregivers.com/calma-caregiver-program-series Contact for Coaching/Support: https://www.calmacaregivers.com/calma-caregiver-mentoring Connect with Aaron "Sgt. Q" Quinonez 🌐 Website: https://sgtq.net/ 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SgtQ13 💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/keynotespeakerbusinessscalingcoachbetabloxjudgerealitystarpodcaster/ Support the show

Send us Fan Mail WHEN SOMEONE BREAKS YOUR TRUST, WHAT DO YOU DO WITH THE HURT? A broken promise can stay with you long after the moment is over. In this episode of The Mental Health Janitors, Sgt. Q and Doc Jess explore how betrayal, childhood trauma, broken trust, and unresolved hurt can shape the way we see people, relationships, and even ourselves. The conversation begins with a deeply personal story about a broken promise that became part of a childhood trauma. Then, a Reddit story about a father and son raises a bigger question about trust, accountability, parenting, and what happens when someone uses a loophole instead of honoring their word. But the conversation goes even deeper. Why do we sometimes start looking for revenge when we've been hurt? Why does our brain fill in the gaps when we don't have all the information? And what does it really take to break the cycle of resentment? Sgt. Q shares a deeply personal story about his own father that brings the conversation full circle and reveals why forgiveness isn't always about what someone deserves. This episode explores emotional intelligence, trauma, family relationships, trust, resentment, forgiveness, emotional resilience, and the choices we make after we've been hurt. If you've ever struggled with betrayal, broken promises, anger, or letting go of something that happened in your past, this conversation may give you a different way to look at your pain. ❤️ 🎧 Listen to the full episode to hear the stories, the lessons, and the unexpected perspective on choosing forgiveness over revenge. Episode Highlights • 00:00 Welcome to The Mental Health Janitors • 01:30 A Childhood Story About Trauma and a Broken Promise • 07:00 When Personal Pain Meets the Mental Bandwidth We Have • 09:00 The Seattle Shooting and Leadership Under Pressure • 18:00 How Economic Stress Can Affect Mental Wellbeing • 28:00 Reddit Story: A Father, Son, and a Shocking Loophole • 35:00 When a Broken Promise Becomes a Broken Relationship • 40:00 Revenge, Resentment, and the “Long Game” • 45:00 Emotional Intelligence and How We Respond to Hurt • 49:00 A Personal Story About Forgiveness and Reconciliation • 55:00 Choosing Forgiveness Over Revenge • 58:00 Educate, Empower, and Encourage Your Mental Health Journey Join the Conversation Be part of a growing community having real conversations about mental health, emotional intelligence, relationships, conflict resolution, healthy communication, marriage, trauma, and personal growth. 🔗 Join our community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1988960518109166/ Listen on: 🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0nPegvqPi1AO47Xbx3EvNz?si=d2cdfa086c32460c 🎧 Website: https://thementalhealthjanitors.com/ 🎧 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/the-mental-health-janitors/ Connect with Aaron "Sgt Q" Quinonez: Website: https://sgtq.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SgtQ13 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/keynotespeakerbusinessscalingcoachbetabloxjudgerealitystarpodcaster/  #MentalHealth #Forgiveness #EmotionalResilience  Support the show

Send us Fan Mail Are You Looking for an Apology… or Are You Holding Onto Hurt? Sometimes the hardest conflicts aren’t about what was said. They’re about what happens inside us after we feel hurt. In this episode of The Mental Health Janitors, Sgt. Q and Doc Jess explore why we often expect people to understand our pain without ever explaining what happened. The conversation starts with Hot Jimothy Summer, a viral raccoon that brought people together through acceptance and community, before leading into a deeper discussion about emotional reactions, assumptions, and why we connect so deeply with stories of being misunderstood. They then break down a Reddit story about a mother demanding an apology from her teenage daughter’s friend after an insensitive comment. But the bigger question is: Are we seeking accountability, or are we holding onto resentment? Together, they explore emotional intelligence, self-reflection, emotional regulation, and why fixing the root cause of our reactions matters more than simply changing the behavior on the surface. If you’ve ever felt offended, struggled to forgive, or found yourself waiting for someone else to make things right, this episode will challenge the way you approach conflict. 🎧 Tune in to learn how self-awareness, healthy communication, and emotional resilience can help you build stronger relationships. Episode Highlights • 00:00 Welcome to The Mental Health Janitors • 15:49 A Personal Story About Hurt and Rebuilding Trust • 17:00 Hot Jimothy Summer: How a Viral Raccoon Created Connection • 19:08 Why People Rally Around Stories of Acceptance • 28:52 The Story of Keaton and How Community Changed His Life • 33:44 Reddit Story: A Mother Demands an Apology From a Teenager • 38:14 When Hurt Feelings Turn Into Long-Term Resentment • 44:28 Why We Expect Others to Know They Hurt Us • 51:18 Emotional Intelligence: Understanding the Why Behind Our Reactions • 53:34 Building Emotional Resilience and Preventing Conflict • 58:07 Educate, Empower, and Encourage Your Mental Health Journey Join the Conversation Be part of a growing community having real conversations about mental health, emotional intelligence, relationships, conflict resolution, healthy communication, marriage, trauma, and personal growth. 🔗 Join our community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1988960518109166/ Listen on: 🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0nPegvqPi1AO47Xbx3EvNz?si=d2cdfa086c32460c 🎧 Website: https://thementalhealthjanitors.com/ 🎧 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/the-mental-health-janitors/ Connect with Aaron "Sgt Q" Quinonez: Website: https://sgtq.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SgtQ13 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/keynotespeakerbusinessscalingcoachbetabloxjudgerealitystarpodcaster/ #MentalHealth #EmotionalIntelligence #EmotionalResilience  Support the show

Send us Fan Mail What do a concert security breach, a broken family heirloom, and your relationships have in common? More than you might think. In this episode of The Mental Health Janitors, Sgt. Q and Doc Jess begin with the viral Jay Z concert incident, where hundreds of people entered the venue without tickets, causing a massive delay and leaving fans frustrated. But beneath the headlines was a much bigger conversation about assumptions, accountability, leadership, and why understanding the full story matters before placing blame. The discussion then shifts to a viral Reddit story about a husband struggling to forgive his wife after she broke an irreplaceable family heirloom during a heated argument. Was it truly an accident, or was it an intentional act fueled by anger? More importantly, what happens when our minds fill in the gaps with assumptions instead of facts? Together, they explore how emotional reactions shape our decisions, why accountability and humility are essential for healthy relationships, and how the stories we tell ourselves can either build trust or create lasting resentment. You'll also learn the powerful Six Pack Method, a practical tool for challenging assumptions, regulating emotions, and creating healthier conversations before conflict spirals out of control. If you've ever struggled to forgive someone, questioned another person's intentions, or found yourself replaying an argument over and over, this episode is for you. 🎧 Tune in to discover how emotional intelligence, healthy communication, personal accountability, and learning to assume the best can strengthen your relationships and protect your mental health. Episode Highlights • 00:00 Welcome to The Mental Health Janitors • 00:18 When One Broken Item Changes Everything • 02:20 The Jay Z Concert Security Breach Explained • 08:45 Why People Blame Before They Know the Truth • 11:20 How One Open Door Became a Massive Safety Risk • 19:16 The Reddit Story That Started the Conversation • 22:30 A Wife Breaks an Irreplaceable Family Heirloom During a Fight • 31:00 Are You Reacting to Facts or Your Assumptions? • 36:30 Why Accountability Matters More Than Being Right • 48:30 The Six Pack Method for Managing Conflict and Challenging Assumptions • 58:00 How Assuming the Best Can Strengthen Your Marriage Join the Conversation Be part of a growing community having real conversations about mental health, emotional intelligence, relationships, conflict resolution, healthy communication, marriage, trauma, and personal growth. 🔗 Join our community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1988960518109166/ Listen on: 🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0nPegvqPi1AO47Xbx3EvNz?si=d2cdfa086c32460c 🎧 Website: https://thementalhealthjanitors.com/ 🎧 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/the-mental-health-janitors/ Connect with Aaron "Sgt Q" Quinonez: Website: https://sgtq.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SgtQ13 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/keynotespeakerbusinessscalingcoachbetabloxjudgerealitystarpodcaster/ Support the show

Send us Fan Mail What do entitled children, family conflict, and marriage have in common? More than you might think. In this episode of The Mental Health Janitors, Sgt. Q and Doc Jess begin with a viral video that sparks a powerful conversation about entitlement, mob mentality, parenting, and the importance of teaching consequences. But the discussion quickly takes a deeper turn with a viral Reddit story about a husband forced to choose between his family and his wife. Together, they explore how childhood environments shape adult relationships, why unresolved resentment can divide families, and how healthy boundaries, accountability, and emotional maturity are essential for protecting both your marriage and your mental health. When family members criticize your spouse or expect you to choose sides, what is the healthiest response? Should you fight for reconciliation, or is creating distance the better path? This episode tackles those difficult questions with practical insight, compassion, and honest conversation. If you've ever struggled with family conflict, questioned where your loyalty belongs, or wondered whether reconciliation is always the right answer, this conversation is for you. 🎧 Tune in to discover how setting healthy boundaries, communicating with emotional maturity, and taking personal responsibility can strengthen your relationships and protect your mental health. Episode Highlights • 00:00 Welcome to The Mental Health Janitors • 00:18 When Family Pits You Against Your Spouse • 02:20 Mob Mentality, Entitlement, and Why Group Behavior Matters • 13:20 Raising Children Who Understand Consequences and Accountability • 19:16 The Reddit Story That Started the Conversation • 21:10 A Birthday Invitation That Divided an Entire Family • 26:05 Should Your Spouse Always Come First? • 31:10 Should You Fight for Reconciliation or Walk Away? • 34:40 Is the Relationship Worth Saving? Join the Conversation Be part of a growing community having real conversations about mental health, relationships, emotional intelligence, family dynamics, healthy boundaries, trauma, and personal growth. 🔗 Join our community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1988960518109166/ Listen on: 🎧 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0nPegvqPi1AO47Xbx3EvNz?si=d2cdfa086c32460c 🎧 Website: https://thementalhealthjanitors.com/ 🎧 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/the-mental-health-janitors/ Connect with Aaron "Sgt Q" Quinonez: Website: https://sgtq.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SgtQ13 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/keynotespeakerbusinessscalingcoachbetabloxjudgerealitystarpodcaster/ Support the show