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Impulse shopping has never been easier, and in the empty nest it can sneak up on you fast. In this true confessions episode, Clancy asks: am I addicted to shopping, or is it just a phase? A new season, a closet she's rebuilding from scratch, a TikTok feed full of cute finds, and one-tap Apple Pay all lined up to fill our porch with boxes. Nothing on its own was expensive. Together, it was a lot. Rick owns his part too. As the one who handles our finances, he saw the spike and went with passive aggressive comments about the packages instead of a real conversation, even 26 years into our marriage. We talk about why shopping addiction gets a wink and a smile when other habits don't, what happens when you try to scroll your way out of the algorithm, and the three things we’re trying now: friction, transparency, and balance. Dining and travel are on the table too. If your empty nest spending has quietly crept up, this one's for you. In this episode, you'll learn: -The impulse shopping triggers that stack up in the empty nest, like a new season, a changing wardrobe, and shopping with friends, and how fast they add up. -Why TikTok and one-tap Apple Pay make shopping almost frictionless, and how that missing pause turns "that's cute" into another box on the porch. -The early signs your shopping has gone past need, like buying a near duplicate of something you own or borrowing a shoe shelf from your kid's old room. -Why shopping addiction gets laughed off in a way other habits don't, and how the rush of a new outfit and a compliment keeps the cycle going. -How conflict avoidance shows up in marriage, even after 26 years, and why a snarky comment about packages is not the same as an honest money conversation. -Three ways to curb impulse shopping and empty nest spending: add friction, be transparent about where the money goes, and aim for balance instead of going ditch to ditch. Prior Episode mentioned: Empty Nesters Talk Medical Procedures...some necessary, some elective E145 https://youtu.be/W70db0uhd5k 📖 Our book is here! The Loud Quiet – Love, Laughter and Life in the Empty Nest https://www.theloudquiet.com Has your empty nest spending crept up too? Tell us what's helping in the Facebook group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/theloudquiet 🎧 Find all episodes, podcast apps, and YouTube links here: https://www.theloudquiet.com CHAPTERS 00:00 Am I addicted to shopping or is it a phase? 01:21 Fall clothes and starting a closet over 03:56 Shopping from the back seat on vacation 05:00 How TikTok fuels impulse shopping 07:19 Apple Pay and frictionless spending 08:16 A cucumber and a cardigan at Walmart 10:52 When did the shopping become too much? 14:08 Why shopping addiction gets a wink and a smile 17:30 Will the algorithm let you walk away? 20:06 Rick's passive aggressive package comments 25:26 Friction, transparency and balance 31:37 Our book as a holiday gift Want to be a guest on The Loud Quiet - Empty Nest Living? Send Rick and Clancy Denton a message on PodMatch: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/theloudquiethost Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and should not be taken as legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, or other professional regarding your specific situation. The opinions expressed by guests are solely theirs and do not necessarily represent the views or positions of the host(s).  #EmptyNesters #EmptyNesting #EmptyNest #ImpulseShopping #ShoppingAddiction #EmotionalSpending #TikTokMadeMeBuyIt #MoneyAndMarriage #Marriage #Relationships #Lifeafterkidsleave #Newchapterinlife #Reconnectingasacouple #Relationshipafterkids #HolidayGiftIdeas #Podcast #TheLoudQuiet

Acts of kindness are the small, observant choices that take about 30 seconds and can turn someone's day around. So why do they feel so rare right now? On Clancy's morning walks, only about 60 percent of people wave or say hello back. Commutes turn into races, a friendly note on a windshield feels like a scam, and the algorithm keeps feeding us the worst of each other. If you've been wondering where all the kindness went, especially in this empty nest season, you're not imagining it. We're Clancy and Rick Denton, empty nesters and co-authors of The Loud Quiet: Love, Laughter and Life in the Empty Nest, and in this episode we trade the stories that restored a little of our faith in people. A stranger who waved Clancy ahead in the checkout line. A fulfillment center worker who mailed back the truck keys Rick accidentally returned. A quick DM reply from a podcast host that ended with a compliment. We also get honest about how hard it is to be kind to the person you live with, especially during a sick week, and why scheduling kindness works better than waiting to feel it. Clancy reads a passage from Theo of Golden by Allen Levi, and we leave you with a real question: with World Kindness Day coming up on November 13, what could empty nesters do together to bring kindness back? In this episode, you'll learn: Why acts of kindness feel so rare right now, starting with Clancy's morning walk count, where only about 60 percent of people wave or say hello backHow the commute became the place many of us fall short on kindness, and why turning the other cheek on the road could stop most road rage momentsWhy it can be hardest to be kind to the person you live with, and what a sick week and a 5:40 a.m. alarm taught usHow small acts of kindness start with being observant, from a stranger offering her spot in line to a warehouse worker mailing back lost truck keysWhether social media and the algorithm push us toward negativity, and how a 30 second DM reply proved kindness online still existsWhy scheduling kindness works, from a family day of kindness to serving with your life group, plus the easiest daily habit: thanking your serverWhat Theo of Golden by Allen Levi shows about quiet kindness, and our question for you about what empty nesters could do together Mentioned in this episode: Theo of Golden by Allen Levi https://link.amazon/B08aGbrkl (affiliate link) 📖 Our book is here! The Loud Quiet – Love, Laughter and Life in the Empty Nest https://www.theloudquiet.com Got an idea for an act of kindness empty nesters could do together? Tell us in the Facebook group or leave us a voicemail on our website. https://www.facebook.com/groups/theloudquiet 🎧 Find all episodes, podcast apps, and YouTube links here:  https://www.theloudquiet.com CHAPTERS 00:00 Where has all the kindness gone 00:46 Why only 60 percent of people wave back 02:14 Commute kindness and turning the other cheek 06:54 Being kind to the person you live with 10:28 Small acts of kindness in the checkout line 11:29 A company mails back lost truck keys 14:59 Social media, the algorithm and negativity 17:58 A DM reply that made Clancy's day 21:04 Should you schedule kindness 22:02 Why you should always thank your server 27:18 Theo of Golden by Allen Levi 29:30 What can empty nesters do together Want to be a guest on The Loud Quiet - Empty Nest Living? Send Rick and Clancy Denton a message on PodMatch: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/theloudquiethost Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and should not be taken as legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, or other professional regarding your specific situation. The opinions expressed by guests are solely theirs and do not necessarily represent the views or positions of the host(s).

Mid-semester is when a lot of families start asking these questions. What can a parent do after three weeks of silence? Why do so many students start struggling right around week six? And how do you support your student without stepping back into the driver’s seat? Annamarie Tellez is the director for parent and family programs at the University of Arizona, where our daughter is a senior. Annamarie is also the parent of three Wildcats. Her office is where families go when they don’t know who to call, and she sees the same worries come up with every new class. This is our second conversation with a university family engagement leader. What’s in this episode: What to do when you haven’t heard from your studentWho to contact on campus when something feels offWhy homesickness tends to show up around the six-week markWhat helps a student find their people on a big campusHow to support your student without taking overWhy your second kid’s college experience may look nothing like the firstHow often families can expect to hear from the university University of Arizona Parent & Family Programs https://uafamily.arizona.edu 📖 Our book is here! The Loud Quiet – Love, Laughter and Life in the Empty Nest https://www.theloudquiet.com If your student has called home sounding a little different this semester, tell us how you handled it in the Facebook group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/theloudquiet 🎧 Find all episodes, podcast apps, and YouTube links here: https://www.theloudquiet.com CHAPTERS 0:00 Welcome and our University of Arizona connection 1:16 Adjusting when the school updates stop 4:25 Where families turn for campus resources 6:39 Learning to step aside as a parent 9:20 Easing anxiety after you leave campus 11:53 When you haven’t heard from your student 14:40 Supporting your student without taking over 16:36 Why each kid’s college experience differs 19:17 Homesickness and finding a place on campus 22:58 How a club fair helped our daughter 25:17 How often families hear from the university Want to be a guest on The Loud Quiet - Empty Nest Living? Send Rick and Clancy Denton a message on PodMatch: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/theloudquiethost Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and should not be taken as legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, or other professional regarding your specific situation. The opinions expressed by guests are solely theirs and do not necessarily represent the views or positions of the host(s).

We just got back from Arizona. Another parents' weekend, another hike into the Grand Canyon. That trip sent us straight back to Episode 9, so we're bringing it back as a Greatest Hits episode. We recorded it in our first few months as empty nesters, a mile and a half down the trail, not even sure the mics were on. If you can, turn on the video. It was Tanner's last parents' weekend at ASU, and we said yes to everything he wanted to do. Then on to Tucson and Teagan, six weeks into college. This time she had every answer and led us all over campus. What's in this episode: Empty trails on a Monday in SeptemberTanner's final parents' weekend, and thirty-two-ounce buckets at CasaA Sunday with no flight to catchSaguaro National Park outside TucsonTeagan back at the restaurant from drop-off, talking nonstopAll four of us at dinner together, in Arizona 📖 Our book is here! The Loud Quiet – Love, Laughter and Life in the Empty Nest https://www.theloudquiet.com If your kid has started giving you the campus tour instead of the other way around, come tell us about it in the group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/theloudquiet 🎧 Find all episodes, podcast apps, and YouTube links here: https://www.theloudquiet.com CHAPTERS 0:00 Back from Arizona, back to this one 1:02 A mile and a half down the Grand Canyon trail 3:21 Tanner's last parents' weekend at ASU 5:25 Thirty-two-ounce buckets at Casa 8:09 A Sunday with no flight home 11:48 Saguaro National Park outside Tucson 13:40 Working East Coast hours from Scottsdale 19:01 Back to the restaurant from drop-off 20:43 Teagan leads the campus tour 22:40 The last child and what's next 26:22 All four of us at dinner 29:03 Parents' weekend on the U of Arizona quad Want to be a guest on The Loud Quiet - Empty Nest Living? Send Rick and Clancy Denton a message on PodMatch: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/theloudquiethost Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and should not be taken as legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, or other professional regarding your specific situation. The opinions expressed by guests are solely theirs and do not necessarily represent the views or positions of the host(s).

Rick gave Clancy a trip to Los Angeles for Christmas, and we finally took it in September. This is our first trip as just the two of us since Mexico last year. The whole thing was built around one concert. The biggest highlight came from a tour Clancy found the Tuesday before we left, after our original plan fell through. That tour got us into hidden places on the Sunset Strip and the stories behind them, the kind you'd walk right past on your own. We also get into where we stayed, where we ate, and where to sit (and not sit) at the Hollywood Palladium. If you're thinking about a trip for two, especially one that doesn't have to wait for a school break, this is our list. What's in this episode: Our first book club, and the discussion guide we built for book clubsWhy our gifts have shifted toward experiencesThe Sunset Strip rock and roll tour that became the highlight of the tripA rare book store with a signed Jaws screenplayLA's mocktail menus and a cocktail inspired by Dean MartinGriffith Park, the Hollywood sign, and a wander up Rodeo DriveDinner six tables deep in a chef's own kitchenSanta Monica to Venice on foot, and brunchPeter Hook at the Hollywood PalladiumSkip the rental car and fly out of Burbank Places and experiences mentioned in the episode: Rock and Walk Tours https://rocknwalktours.com/ Jeff Lewis Live show https://www.siriusxm.com/channels/the-jeff-lewis-channel BookSoup https://booksoup.com/ Rare book store https://www.mysterypierbooks.com/ Montrose at Beverly Hills https://www.montrosewesthollywood.com/ WeHo Bistro https://www.wehobistro.com/ Bar Next Door https://www.barnextdoor.com/ Da Barbara https://barbarapollastrini.com/ Met Her At A Bar https://www.metheratabar.com/ Katana LA https://www.katanarobata.com/ Book Club Guide (in FAQs) https://theloudquiet.com/book/ 📖 Our book is here! The Loud Quiet – Love, Laughter and Life in the Empty Nest https://www.theloudquiet.com Got your own LA favorites, or questions about ours? Share them with us in the Facebook group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/theloudquiet 🎧 Find all episodes, podcast apps, and YouTube links here: https://www.theloudquiet.com CHAPTERS 00:00 Thank you to our first book club 01:30 A Christmas gift and couples trip 04:15 The Sunset Strip rock and roll tour 10:48 Rare books and a signed Jaws screenplay 14:56 LA's mocktail menus and Bar Next Door 17:21 Griffith Park hike and Beverly Hills 20:56 Dinner in Da Barbara's home kitchen 25:03 Santa Monica, Venice and brunch 27:39 Peter Hook at the Hollywood Palladium 32:37 Uber, Burbank and traveling in September Want to be a guest on The Loud Quiet - Empty Nest Living? Send Rick and Clancy Denton a message on PodMatch: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/theloudquiethost Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and should not be taken as legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, or other professional regarding your specific situation. The opinions expressed by guests are solely theirs and do not necessarily represent the views or positions of the host(s).

John Infortunio writes about his father's Alzheimer's, and he chose fiction over memoir to do it. On this episode, he tells us why a character can hold what a memoir can't. John is a lifelong educator, a native Brooklynite, and the author of two novels drawn from his own life. We get into how he balances that authenticity with fiction, what actually happens in his editing process, and how growing up in a tight-knit Brooklyn neighborhood shaped the way he writes. He also talks about caretaking for his aging parents while raising his son, and what it took to stop comparing his son's twenties to his own. What's in this episode: Why John chose fiction over memoir for his father's Alzheimer'sHow he balances personal authenticity with writing fictionHis editing process, what gets cut and what gets built upGrowing up in a community-rich Brooklyn neighborhoodCaretaking for his parents while raising his son and building a careerLetting go of comparing his son's twenties to his ownWatching his son grow into his own political and social views You can find John's books, Destroyed by the Events of the Day and Today Was Tomorrow, on Amazon https://link.amazon/B0dthUWCe (Amazon affiliate link), barnesandnoble.com, and Walmart.com. Follow him on Instagram @johninfortunio. 📖 Our book is here! The Loud Quiet – Love, Laughter and Life in the Empty Nest https://www.theloudquiet.com Distance, protection, and letting go show up in different ways in this one. Join the conversation in our Facebook group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/theloudquiet 🎧 Find all episodes, podcast apps, and YouTube links here: https://www.theloudquiet.com CHAPTERS 00:00 Why fiction, not memoir, for his father's Alzheimer's 02:58 Hiding behind characters for emotional protection 04:02 Balancing authenticity while still writing fiction 04:21 Editing as the real filter for truth 06:12 Trusting instinct instead of staying guarded 08:23 How teaching shaped his approach to writing 10:44 Growing up in a tight-knit Brooklyn community 14:57 Caretaking for aging parents while raising his son 22:06 Letting go of comparing his son's twenties to his own 25:19 Watching his son grow into social and political awareness 28:22 Healthy disagreement and pushback with grown kids Want to be a guest on The Loud Quiet - Empty Nest Living? Send Rick and Clancy Denton a message on PodMatch: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/theloudquiethost Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and should not be taken as legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, or other professional regarding your specific situation. The opinions expressed by guests are solely theirs and do not necessarily represent the views or positions of the host(s)

This is the second half of their relationship check in, questions Rick and Clancy come back to when it's been too long since the last one. They continue with the 5 love languages conversation, their lowest-ranked ones this time, and move into bigger questions about what the next five to ten years look like. It's easy to assume things are fine because nothing's actively wrong. A check-in surfaces what's actually going on underneath that, the parts that don't come up on their own until someone asks directly. What's in this episode: The different types of physical touch, and why "bedroom touch" isn't the whole pictureRick's lowest love language, receiving gifts, and why he doesn't reach for it naturallyAn old flowers misunderstanding that lasted a lot longer than it should haveTravel, work, retirement, and where they might live nextA timing gap in a relocation decision that came up mid-conversation The check-in questions from this two-part series: 1. Are we still on the same page about how we want to spend our time, such as more togetherness or more independence? 2. What's one thing about our day to day life together that's working really well right now? And what's one thing that you would change? 3. Do we still talk about things other than logistics, the house, the finances, the kids? When is the last time that we've had a conversation that wasn't about a task? 4. What's one way you feel loved right now and one way you wish you felt more loved? 5. What does the next five to ten years look like for us? Travel, work, retirement, relocating. 6. What does staying connected to our now grown kids look like? And are we on the same page around boundaries and involvement? 📖 Our book is here! The Loud Quiet – Love, Laughter and Life in the Empty Nest https://www.theloudquiet.com If this episode has you thinking about your own check-in questions, our Facebook group is a good place to talk through them with other empty nesters. https://www.facebook.com/groups/theloudquiet 🎧 Find all episodes, podcast apps, and YouTube links here: https://www.theloudquiet.com CHAPTERS 00:00 Five Love Languages Recap 03:30 Different Types of Touch Explained 06:00 Clancy's Highest: Comforting Touch 07:06 Rick's Lowest: Receiving Gifts 09:30 The Flowers Misunderstanding 13:30 Looking Toward The Next Decade 15:43 Relocating Versus Staying Near Kids 20:36 The Timing They Hadn't Discussed 21:41 Why The Check-In Matters Want to be a guest on The Loud Quiet - Empty Nest Living? Send Rick and Clancy Denton a message on PodMatch:https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/theloudquiethost Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and should not be taken as legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, or other professional regarding your specific situation. The opinions expressed by guests are solely theirs and do not necessarily represent the views or positions of the host(s).

What does a relationship check-in look like in the empty nest? This episode, Rick and Clancy go through their actual check-in questions. Unrehearsed. Real reactions. They cover togetherness versus independence, what's working day to day and what they'd change, and whether they still talk about anything besides logistics and the kids. Then they get into the five love languages, comparing results and where they overlap and where they don't. Part two picks up with their lowest-ranked love languages and what the next five to ten years might look like. Want to run these check-in questions with your own partner? Here they are: 1. Are we still on the same page about how we want to spend our time, such as more togetherness or more independence? 2. What's one thing about our day to day life together that's working really well right now? And what's one thing that you would change? 3. Do we still talk about things other than logistics, the house, the finances, the kids? When is the last time that we've had a conversation that wasn't about a task? 4. What's one way you feel loved right now and one way you wish you felt more loved? 5. What does the next five to ten years look like for us? Travel, work, retirement, relocating. 6. What does staying connected to our now grown kids look like? And are we on the same page around boundaries and involvement? Want to find your own love language? Take the quiz here: https://5lovelanguages.com/ Our book, The Loud Quiet – Love, Laughter and Life in the Empty Nest, is available now. https://www.theloudquiet.com Join our Facebook group for empty nesters and tell us how your own check-in goes. https://www.facebook.com/groups/theloudquiet 🎧 Find all episodes, podcast apps, and YouTube links here: https://www.theloudquiet.com CHAPTERS 00:00 Why relationship check-ins fade over time 02:15 Pre-crisis intervention vs annual check-in 03:29 Question 1: togetherness or independence 10:19 Question 2: what's working, what they'd change 14:27 Question 3: conversations beyond logistics 19:37 Question 4: how they feel loved, beginning 5 love languages 20:56 Clancy's top love language: acts of service 24:08 Rick's top love language: words of affirmation 26:18 Quality time, dreaming, and shared goals Want to be a guest on The Loud Quiet - Empty Nest Living? Send Rick and Clancy Denton a message on PodMatch: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/theloudquiethost Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and should not be taken as legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, or other professional regarding your specific situation. The opinions expressed by guests are solely theirs and do not necessarily represent the views or positions of the host(s).

Your student isn't the only one at college who has someone in their corner, you might too, if you know who to call. Heather Deere spends her days on the other end of the phone calls families make when they can't tell if their student is really doing okay three states away. She's the Director of Family Engagement & Student Affairs Communications at William & Mary. In this episode, she walks Rick and Clancy through her coaching model, the shift from directing a student to consulting with one, and why she tells every incoming family that senior year is a sweet chapter nobody should rush through. What you'll learn in this episode: Why William & Mary uses a coaching model for their family engagement approachThe most common calls Heather fields from families in the first six weeksHow Heather's own first-gen college experience shapes her advice to families todayWhy she tells families to let their student take their foot off the gas senior yearThe one question to ask before stepping in to handle something for your student Want to learn more about William & Mary's family engagement approach? Visit wm.edu/families or follow along on Instagram at WM_families. 📖 Our book is here! The Loud Quiet – Love, Laughter and Life in the Empty Nest https://www.theloudquiet.com Join the conversation in our Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theloudquiet 🎧 Find all episodes, podcast apps, and YouTube links here: https://www.theloudquiet.com CHAPTERS 00:00 Introducing Heather Deere and William & Mary 01:11 What a coaching model means for families 04:15 Day-to-day calls families actually make 06:26 How differently each kid communicates 08:04 Being a first-gen student shapes her approach 12:10 Encouraging families to enjoy senior year 16:33 What families really feel during move-in 21:14 Common issues in the first semester 23:44 Retroactive guilt over old advice26:31 The question to ask before stepping in 31:55 Where to learn more about William & Mary Want to be a guest on The Loud Quiet - Empty Nest Living? Send Rick and Clancy Denton a message on PodMatch: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/theloudquiethost Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and should not be taken as legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, or other professional regarding your specific situation. The opinions expressed by guests are solely theirs and do not necessarily represent the views or positions of the host(s).

A solo move-in for Teagan and a podcasting conference happened back to back this month, and together they got Rick and Clancy thinking bigger than they have in a while. The move-in was their tenth, routine on paper, but still came with new lessons. The conference is where the muse appeared. Conversations with fellow attendees, several of them empty nesters themselves, left Rick and Clancy with a clearer sense of how much appetite there is for real connection. That's what sparked the idea to take this beyond the microphone. Meetups. Happy hours. Retreats. Group travel. Nothing is decided yet, and that's intentional. What would YOU want to see the empty nest community grow into? Head to the podcast page at https://podcast.theloudquiet.com/ and leave a voicemail. Every one gets listened to, and yours might end up on a future episode. 📖 Our book is here! The Loud Quiet – Love, Laughter and Life in the Empty Nest https://www.theloudquiet.com✈️ Learn more about the brilliant podcast Two Guys On A Plane https://twoguysonaplane.com/ Got an idea for what this community should become? Tell us in the group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/theloudquiet 🎧 Find all episodes, podcast apps, and YouTube links here: https://www.theloudquiet.com CHAPTERS 00:05 Teagan's Solo Move-In Begins 01:35 Lessons From The Tenth Move-In 03:33 Wondering If She'll Want A Roommate Again 05:04 Straight From Move-In To A Conference 06:55 Feeling Re-Energized About The Business 07:59 Gratitude For This Community 09:45 Why Empty Nest Identity Resonates 11:20 New Ideas Start Taking Shape 12:33 Meetups, Retreats, And Real Life Events 13:23 Exploring Group Travel Together 14:41 Leave A Voicemail With Your Ideas Want to be a guest on The Loud Quiet - Empty Nest Living? Send Rick and Clancy Denton a message on PodMatch: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/theloudquiethost Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and should not be taken as legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, or other professional regarding your specific situation. The opinions expressed by guests are solely theirs and do not necessarily represent the views or positions of the host(s).

Rick and Clancy started rewriting their wills this year, and that's what led them to Jill McClennen, a death doula, who says you don't have to be dying to use one. "It's also that with a death doula, you don't actually have to be dying to use a death doula. We really actually are probably more effective if we would work with people earlier on." - Jill In this episode: -Why death doulas are non-medical and work alongside hospice, not in place of it -How to know when it's actually time to bring in hospice or a death doula, and why most families wait too long -What to look for when choosing a death doula, including the questions worth asking before you hire one -How Jill helps families avoid the fighting and conflict that often show up around end-of-life decisions -How faith and religion factor into her work with different families -How she protects her own mental health doing this work full time You can find Jill and her work at End of Life Clarity: https://www.endoflifeclarity.com/ Her podcast, Seeing Death Clearly, is here: https://www.endoflifeclarity.com/seeing-death-clearly-podcast/ 📖 Our book, The Loud Quiet – Love, Laughter and Life in the Empty Nest, is here: https://www.theloudquiet.com Redoing our own wills is what got us into this conversation in the first place, and we know a lot of you are somewhere in that same process. Come talk through it with us in the group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/theloudquiet 🎧 Find all episodes, podcast apps, and YouTube links here: https://www.theloudquiet.com CHAPTERS 00:00 Why we're talking about death doulas 01:52 What led Jill to become a death doula 05:06 What death doula training actually looks like 08:41 Why death doulas are becoming more mainstream 12:03 You don't have to be dying to call one 14:50 How to choose the right death doula 16:31 The hospice timing mistake, and gifting a doula 19:25 Navigating faith and religion at the end of life 21:35 How a death doula works alongside hospice 25:44 Protecting her own mental health in this work 30:10 Why she also hosts a death and dying podcast Want to be a guest on The Loud Quiet - Empty Nest Living? Send Rick and Clancy Denton a message on PodMatch:https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/theloudquiethost Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and should not be taken as legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, or other professional regarding your specific situation. The opinions expressed by guests are solely theirs and do not necessarily represent the views or positions of the host(s).

Busy, or full? Rick and Clancy started using that second word on purpose this episode, and it changes how the whole conversation flows. Rick names a trap he's been stuck in for years: believing that once you get through the next big thing, life will finally calm down. It never does. He's not convinced he'll fix that either, because he knows who he is. Clancy comes up with a different word for the whole thing. Full still has room in it, she says. In this episode, Rick and Clancy talk about: The book launch celebrationThe last-minute decision to go to AustinProtecting time for just the two of themLearning to say no as empty nestersThe pull between constant activity and real stillnessThe difference between becoming happy and being happy "It's full, but there's still room." - Rick📖 Our book is here! The Loud Quiet – Love, Laughter and Life in the Empty Nest https://www.theloudquiet.com If your calendar has felt more busy than full lately, come tell us about it in the Facebook group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/theloudquiet 🎧 Find all episodes, podcast apps, and YouTube links here: https://www.theloudquiet.com CHAPTERS 00:00 Rethinking The "I'm Busy" Reflex 00:54 Book Launch Party Recap 04:20 The Trap Of "Once We're Through This" 05:17 A Last-Minute Trip To Austin 08:16 Forgetting To Prioritize Time Alone 11:42 Learning To Say No 12:48 Errands, Pedicures, And Still Not Stopping 14:25 Overstimulation And The Value Of Quiet 19:43 No Downtime, Even On A Getaway 22:36 Choosing Activities Freely At This Age 24:47 Being Happy Vs. Trying To Become Happy Want to be a guest on The Loud Quiet - Empty Nest Living? Send Rick and Clancy Denton a message on PodMatch: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/theloudquiethost Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and should not be taken as legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, or other professional regarding your specific situation. The opinions expressed by guests are solely theirs and do not necessarily represent the views or positions of the host(s).

Move-in day never quite goes the way you expect, even after doing it more than once. Rick and Clancy walk through what actually shifts each time, from how much to help unpacking a dorm room to when to step in on a rough roommate situation. "Help them, but only as much as they want to be helped" comes up early, and it holds up through the rest of the conversation. Budgeting gets its own segment, including the ten days of DoorDash during a COVID quarantine that no spreadsheet prepared them for. Communication comes up too, and how differently their two kids handled being away, from daily texts to the "proof of life" check-in Clancy had to establish herself. 📖 Our book is here! The Loud Quiet – Love, Laughter and Life in the Empty Nest https://www.theloudquiet.com If you've been through move-in day more than once, or you're staring down your first one, this is exactly the kind of thing we talk through in our Facebook group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/theloudquiet 🎧 Find all episodes, podcast apps, and YouTube links here: https://www.theloudquiet.com CHAPTERS 00:00 Intro And Season Kickoff 01:03 Help Only As Much As Wanted 02:50 Building Furniture And Learning To Step Back 04:00 Get Off Campus, Let Emotions Surface 08:01 Two Kids, Two Very Different Move-Ins 10:06 Budgeting For The Unexpected 14:55 The Proof Of Life Text 17:26 Different Rhythms, Not Rejection 19:12 Communication Hacks That Actually Work 20:37 Listen First, Fix Rarely 21:14 Where The Line Really Sits 27:24 Campus Resources And What's Coming Next Want to be a guest on The Loud Quiet - Empty Nest Living? Send Rick and Clancy Denton a message on PodMatch: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/theloudquiethost Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and should not be taken as legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, or other professional regarding your specific situation. The opinions expressed by guests are solely theirs and do not necessarily represent the views or positions of the host(s).

How is the nest empty if you're still living in it? That question from Hanna Bankier is why we brought her on this week. Hanna runs Birdie Launcher, helping parents navigate launching their kids, and themselves, into whatever comes next. Her focus isn't the packing list. It's the relationship that has to get rebuilt once the packing's done. Hanna's website is a great place to start if any of this sounds familiar: https://www.birdylauncher.com/ Follow her on Instagram at birdylauncher. 📖 Our book is here! The Loud Quiet – Love, Laughter and Life in the Empty Nest https://www.theloudquiet.com If parenting a kid who's about to launch, or already has, sounds familiar, come talk about it with other empty nesters in our Facebook group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/theloudquiet 🎧 Find all episodes, podcast apps, and YouTube links here: https://www.theloudquiet.com CHAPTERS 00:00 Welcome And Meeting Hanna Bankier 01:04 Why She Named It Birdie Launcher 03:31 The Problem With Empty Nest 04:17 Only Seven Percent Of Parents Plan Ahead 07:39 Checklist Culture Versus Relational Work 11:05 Gen X Parents Finally Talking About It 12:35 Parenting Is Managing Your Own Anxiety 18:26 Will I Still Be Needed 20:40 The Pre-Launch Relational Gift Conversation 23:08 Rewriting Your Job Description As Parent 26:33 Marriage, Divorce Risk, And Siblings Left Behind 31:28 Where To Find Birdie Launcher Want to be a guest on The Loud Quiet - Empty Nest Living?Send Rick and Clancy Denton a message on PodMatch: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/theloudquiethost Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and should not be taken as legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, or other professional regarding your specific situation. The opinions expressed by guests are solely theirs and do not necessarily represent the views or positions of the host(s).

We went into a marriage conference this weekend thinking we didn't really need it. Decades of marriage will do that to you. That assumption got proven wrong fast, especially in a breakout session on parenting adult children. Then we capped the weekend off with something completely impulsive that had nothing to do with marriage advice and everything to do with a nineteen dollar ticket. If you want to look into your own love languages, and how they change over time, that's the book we keep coming back to: The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts by Gary Chapman https://amzn.to/3Rhf00d (Amazon affiliate link) Catch the episode mentioned in today's show 🎸I Want to See Them Before One Of Them Dies - E22 https://youtu.be/YG601NqlgW4 📖 Our book is here! The Loud Quiet – Love, Laughter and Life in the Empty Nest https://www.theloudquiet.com If parenting adult kids or getting a marriage tune up of your own sounds familiar, come talk about it with other empty nesters in our Facebook group. https://www.facebook.com/groups/theloudquiet🎧 Find all episodes, podcast apps, and YouTube links here:https://www.theloudquiet.com CHAPTERS 00:00 Nearly Skipping The Marriage Conference 01:32 Feeling Too Experienced To Need Help 04:45 Every Couple Gets Something From It 08:23 Love Languages Now Have Dialects 09:37 How Gift Giving Preferences Change 13:09 Parenting Adult Kids Breakout Session 14:26 Releasing Kids From Holiday Expectations 15:28 Spiritual Intimacy In The Mundane Middle 19:02 The Marriage Tune Up Analogy 21:19 Finally Seeing Air Supply Live 24:24 Crying During Sweet Dreams 26:37 A Fun Night Capping The Weekend Want to be a guest on The Loud Quiet - Empty Nest Living?Send Rick and Clancy Denton a message on PodMatch:https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/theloudquiethost Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and opinions expressed are those of the hosts and guests and should not be taken as legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult with a qualified attorney, financial advisor, or other professional regarding your specific situation. The opinions expressed by guests are solely theirs and do not necessarily represent the views or positions of the host(s).