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Mark Allen is joined by Terry Lloyd for an honest, insightful and humorous chat about what it feels like to parent neurodivergent kids from a dad’s perspective. They lift the lid on why dads are always “late to the party” when it comes to recognising neurodivergence, struggling to process what it all means, and figuring out how to show up properly for your family - especially when one parent has already been doing the heavy lifting for ages. They also delve into how traditional gender roles can make everything harder, and why guilt, grief and defensiveness can quietly shape how dads respond in the early days. There are also plenty of practical, lived-experience tales about having to unlearn how we were parented, getting on the same page as your co-parent and the challenge of not accidentally becoming the bad cop. A must listen for any dads raising autistic, ADHD or PDA kids, as well as any mums interesting in hearing a different perspective of the challenges men face, but often can't articulate. ⸻ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (ESTIMATED) 00:00:37 – Intro and what’s coming up 00:01:15 – Meet the Guest: Terry Lloyd 00:04:07 – Topic of the Week: Dads and the neurodivergent parenting journey 00:05:36 – Being late to the party spotting neurodivergence (and why dads often miss it) 00:06:05 – Inheriting breadwinner v caregiver roles, and the mental load gap 00:10:47 – When your co-parent says “something’s different” 00:17:03 – Labels, diagnosis, and why denial delays support 00:25:21 – The provider/disciplinarian stereotype (and how it backfires) 00:32:07 – How our own upbringing can influence dads' approach to parenting 00:36:52 – PDA, control, and why authority dynamics don't work 00:48:34 – Before diagnosis: doubt, uncertainty, and needing clarity 00:51:20 – Grief, shame, and the emotional weight of realising your child is neurodivergent  00:55:40 – The importance of finding other dads in the same boat 01:00:07 – Learning the hard way (books and resources that helped) 01:09:54 – Advice for dads needing to get more hands-on 01:21:08 – It’s Not All Rubbish: Finding the positives 01:24:59 – Neurodiversity Champions 01:27:57 – Tiny Epic Wins 01:29:49 – What the Flip Moments 01:34:52 – Outro (how to share your stories, links to the socials and wrap-up) ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE Neuroshambles website – https://www.neuroshambles.com The Journey into SEND Fatherhood (book Mark and Terry contributed to) - https://amzn.eu/d/03g3S0J7 The Explosive Child by Ross W. Greene (book) - https://amzn.eu/d/0az7Uy7e SEND Dads Drop In (Facebook group) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/3100788930061466 PDA Father Figures (Facebook group) - https://www.facebook.com/groups/809973900027348 Lisa Lloyd (@asd_with_a_g_and_t) - https://linktr.ee/ASDwithagandt Raising the SEN-Betweeners by Lisa Lloyd (book) - https://amzn.eu/d/01pvrF2f SAA Clothing (sensory-friendly clothing) - https://www.saaclothing.com/ Let Us Learn Too (parent/carer education campaign) - https://letuslearntoo.wordpress.com/ Amaze Sussex dads support group (run by Darren Walker) - https://amazesussex.org.uk/events/dads-group-east-sussex/ ⸻ 📣 CONTACT NEUROSHAMBLES 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles ⸻ 🎙️ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com  

Episode 50 of this neurodivergent parenting podcast takes a clear, practical look at how families in the UK end up navigating the healthcare system when they suspect their child might be autistic and/or ADHD. Mark is joined by Lucy Pocock, a registered GP and parent of a neurodivergent child, as they pull back the curtain and take a deep dive into how the system works (and why it so often doesn’t).   They talk through the routes families are typically funnelled into when they’re seeking support: school evidence, GP involvement, referrals, and the confusing reality that the pathway can look completely different depending on where you live. It’s the sort of honest, informative discussion many families of autistic, ADHD and PDA kids wish existed when they first started asking questions.   Mark and Lucy also unpack what happens once ADHD enters the mix - including medication pathways, titration, prescribing delays, and the complexities of shared care. Lucy explains why bottlenecks happen, what GPs can and can’t do, and how those constraints land on families already stretched to breaking point.   Along the way, the conversation touches on demand-avoidant (PDA) profiles, why some parents go private, and what families can realistically expect when it comes to letters and evidence for things like EHCP and DLA. It’s the kind of candid, good humoured and insightful chat that this neurodivergency parenting podcast is known for.   CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (ESTIMATED) 00:00:37 - Episode 50 intro 00:01:20 - Meet the Guest (Lucy Pocock) 00:03:07 - Topic of the Week – UK healthcare and ND referrals (the two main routes) 00:09:23 - The postcode lottery, delays, and mismatched pathways 00:17:42 - ADHD medication: shared care, titration, and why CAMHS take so long 00:27:31 - Lucy's journey with her own PDA son's diagnosis as a GP 00:34:00 - Training: Oliver McGowan and the impact within the NHS 00:37:15 - How much neurodiversity scepticism is there within the healthcare system? 00:42:00 - What can you do if your GP is not informed about neurodiversity? 00:46:15 - Are there really parents trying to take advantage of the system? 00:56:00 - What support can we ask for from our GP that we don't know about? 00:59:45 - Could GP's relieve some of the burden from CAMHS? 01:04:30 - GP limitations on prescribing drugs: melatonin and anti-depressants 01:07:00 - Shared care, Right to Choose and commissioning constraints 01:10:45 - Is the system broken? Why is support for neurodivergency such a postcode lottery? 01:20:30 - How can we fix the flaws in the healthcare system? 01:27:00 - Looking at the positives 01:30:03 - Neurodiversity Champions 01:32:27 - Tiny Epic Wins 01:35:26 - What the Flip Moments   LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE Shared care - https://www.wessexlmcs.com/guidance/understanding-shared-care-nhs-right-to-choose-and-private-providers/ Right to choose - https://adhduk.co.uk/right-to-choose/ CAMHS - https://www.youngminds.org.uk/young-person/your-guide-to-support/guide-to-camhs/ Oliver McGowan training - https://www.hee.nhs.uk/our-work/learning-disability/current-projects/oliver-mcgowan-mandatory-training-learning-disability-autism FII (Fabricated and Induced Illness) - https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/fabricated-or-induced-illness/overview/ Neuroshambles: Medicating our children | Danielle Jata-Hall - https://neuroshambles.com/episode/medicating-our-children-danielle-jata-hall Melatonin - https://www.nhs.uk/medicines/melatonin/ Neuroshambles: The Bumpy Road to Diagnosis | Tam - https://neuroshambles.com/episode/the-bumpy-road-to-diagnosis-tam Murmuration Community, Bristol - https://www.murmurationcommunitytherapy.com/ Incredible Kids, Bristol - https://incrediblekids.org.uk/   CONTACT NEUROSHAMBLES 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles   CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com  

If you’ve ever felt like Key Stage 2 at school was when it all got harder - not only for your neurodivergent child, but also for you as a parent - this is the episode for you. Mark is joined by philosophy educator and fellow Neuroshambler Grace Lockrobin for a cathartic look at the ages of 7-11, which is where the wheels can start to wobble more for our autistic, ADHD or PDA kids. Together, they unpack the pressures of conformity, the nightmare of homework and the heartbreak of parents evenings. From school trips and transitions to SATs and navigating playground politics, they shine a light on why this age can be so tough - and why the system often gets it wrong. It’s warm, witty, and full of the kind of honesty that makes you feel just a little less alone when your child doesn’t quite fit the mould.  If you’re searching for an autism parenting podcast or ADHD parenting podcast that actually reflects the messy, hilarious, heartbreaking truth of raising neurodivergent children, you're in the right place. ⸻ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 - Intro and meet the guest 03:30 - What’s changed since we last spoke 05:50 - Intro to topic of the week 23:00 - The challenges of the shift in KS2 teaching style 10:00 - Misguided attempts to get them to "catch up" 13:00 - The role that transitions play in these difficulties 22:15 - Social cliques and friendship dynamics 35:15 - Bullying 43:00 - The difficulty of parents’ evenings 57:15 - Homework nightmares 1:00:40 - The unhelpful pressure of SATs 1:06:25 - School trips 1:12:10 - It's not all rubbish: looking at the positives 1:24:15 - Neurodiversity Champions 1:27:45 - Tiny Epic Wins 1:30:00 - “What the Flip?” Moments 1:33:50 - Wrap-up and where to find us ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: SATs - https://educationhub.blog.gov.uk/2022/05/everything-you-need-to-know-about-sats/ Karate Zone - https://karatezone.com/ PDA Society - https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/ ⸻ CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com    

What do we mean when we describe someone as “severely autistic”? Why is it so hard to explain what being autistic actually means? And how useful (or harmful) are terms like high-functioning, low-functioning, profound autism, or even Asperger’s? Kieran Rose returns for a deep dive into the language we use to describe autism - and why it often does more harm than good. He and Mark explore the flaws in functioning labels, the dangers of ranking autistic traits, and how trying to quantify someone’s autism usually misses the point. In a wide-ranging and compassionate chat, Mark and Kieran explore how complex, deeply personal and often contradictory this topic is - both for parents and for autistic people themselves. What starts as a provocative question ends up as a fascinating conversation about diagnosis, co-occurring conditions, identity, education, eugenics, power, and prejudice. A powerful, enlightening and empowering episode - a must-listen for anyone parenting autistic kids who’s ever felt under pressure to explain, justify or minimise their child’s neurodivergence.   📍 CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 - Intro: Meet Kieran Rose 04:30 - Life in a Fully Neurodivergent Household 08:00 - Topic of the Week: How Autistic Is Your Child? 12:00 - Labels, Bias, and the Stigma Around Autism 18:00 - High vs Low Functioning: Where It Comes From 23:00 - What Even Is Autism? 28:30 - The Flawed Legacy of Asperger’s 35:00 - Identity vs Diagnosis 42:00 - DSM-5 Levels of Autism: Why They Don’t Work 49:00 - Profound Autism and The New York Times Article 55:00 - A Counterpoint: The Voices We Don’t Hear 1:00:00 - Co-occurring Conditions and the Real Source of Needs 1:07:00 - Clinical Labels vs Lived Experience 1:14:00 - Mark’s Imposter Syndrome as an Autism Parent 1:18:00 - What’s the Alternative? 1:23:00 - Final Thoughts: Humanising, Not Diagnosing 1:27:00 - Neurodiversity Champions 1:33:00 - Tiny Epic Wins 1:39:00 - “What the Flip?” Moments 1:43:00 - Wrap-up & Where to Find Us 🔗 LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Kieran Rose website - https://theautisticadvocate.com/ Eugenics - https://www.newscientist.com/definition/eugenics/ Asperger Syndrome - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/what-is-autism/the-history-of-autism/asperger-syndrome Hans Asperger - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hans_Asperger Lorna Wing - https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/news/lorna-wing-an-autism-hero DSM-5 - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DSM-5 PDF Download of DSM-5 - https://ia800707.us.archive.org/15/items/info_munsha_DSM5/DSM-5.pdf New York Times article: The Autism Spectrum Is Too Broad - https://www.nytimes.com/2025/10/16/opinion/autism-diagnosis-category-stigma.html Greta Thunberg - https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-49918719 What is monotropism? - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/what-is-monotropism Ehlers Danlos Syndromes - https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/ehlers-danlos-syndromes/ Communication First - https://communicationfirst.org/ Autism Central - https://www.autismcentral.org.uk/ Kieran Rose Animated Guide to Monotropism - https://youtu.be/qUFDAevkd3E?si=diwlbe4AHRcxfjQF Kieran Rose Animated Guide to The Double Empathy Problem - https://youtu.be/qpXwYD9bGyU?si=7bnGR2UsrCgLa_hL   KIERAN'S HOMEWORK Kieran Rose Blog: Autism, it’s Labels and the Language of Pathologising Rhetoric - https://theautisticadvocate.com/autism-its-labels-and-the-language-of-pathologising-rhetoric/ Sunday Times article: Extra time in exams ‘unhealthy’ for children with ADHD and autism - https://www.thetimes.com/uk/education/article/extra-time-exams-unhealthy-children-adhd-autism-k820s56zh TES magazine article: Sami Timimi: Why ‘invented’ SEND labels are disabling pupils - https://www.tes.com/magazine/teaching-learning/general/sami-timimi-interview-problems-with-send-diagnosis-adhd-autism Yahoo News: Badenoch says motability cars not for people with ADHD - https://uk.news.yahoo.com/badenoch-motability-cars-not-people-135341300.html?guccounter=1 📣 CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles 🎙️ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com

Why won’t our neurodivergent kids just take the bloody Calpol? Michelle Parton joins mark to explore the baffling and emotionally loaded issue of kids who resist medical help. Mark and Michelle swap tales of their kids’ iron-willed resistance to all forms of treatment - even when they’re clearly in pain, bleeding, or itching uncontrollably. Together, they explore the many reasons this might be happening - from sensory issues and PDA to past trauma, masking, and a fundamental lack of trust in strangers in latex gloves. It’s funny, cathartic, at times heartbreaking - definitely one for any parent of autistic, ADHD or PDA kids who have ever tried (and failed) to put a plaster on their dysregulated child before they bleed out! ⸻ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 – Intro & Meet the Guest: Michelle Parton 03:00 – Topic of the Week: Refusing Medical Help 08:00 – Kids hiding injuries 13:00 – Dysregulation about the prospect of going to the doctor 17:30 – Trust issues with medical professionals 23:00 – Lyme disease and the unholy nightmare of blood tests 29:00 – Trying to administer medication 35:00 – The impact of sensory overwhelm: Plasters, creams & the taste of medication 42:00 – The added complication with PDA kids 47:00 – The role that masking might play 54:00 – How alexithymia and interoception can influence things 59:00 – The impact of past traumatic experiences 1:04:00 – The positives 1:06:00 – Neurodiversity Champions 1:10:00 – Tiny Epic Wins 1:14:00 – “What the Flip?” moments 1:18:00 – Wrap-Up & Where to Find Us ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Lyme Disease - https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/lyme-disease/ Alexithymia - https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cg4ky5qgrlpo Interoception - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/interoception-wellbeing Beyond Creative Education - https://www.beyondcreativeeducation.org.uk/ ⸻ CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com  

In part two of this deep dive into transitions, Mark reunites with Pete Wharmby to look at more reasons they can cause such a monumental challenge for autistic, ADHD and PDA kids (and adults). From difficulties pulling our kids away from screen-time and replacing a broken fridge, to the regular flashpoint of brushing teeth, Mark and Pete share real-life strategies that can make these transitions more manageable - or at the very least a bit more fun. Pete shares what he wishes more teachers understood, and Mark reflects on how small wins in transition can change the whole feel of a day. Essential for any parent of neurodivergent kids who has ever said “we need to leave now”… and regretted it instantly. ⸻ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 - Welcome back and reintroducing Pete Wharmby 02:30 - Recap of what we covered in episode 45 and why transitions affect all neurodivergent kids 06:10 - Screen time, flow states and Pete's oil tanker analogy 16:45 - The role that monotropism plays in transitions 27:00 - Strategies: lead-In Times, choice and routines 36:40 - Understanding how PDA affects transitions and why it’s not just defiance 46:00 - Strategies for control-driven transitions (e.g. declarative language) 55:30 - Difficulty throwing stuff away: fridges, crocs and clinging to familiarity 1:04:30 - Schools as the perfect storm of transitional triggers 1:15:20 - The positives 1:18:00 - Neurodiversity Champions 1:20:40 - Tiny Epic Wins 1:23:15 - "What the flip?" moments 1:26:00 - Wrap-up and thanks ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Pete Wharmby website - https://petewharmby.com/ Untypical by Pete Wharmby - https://amzn.eu/d/8gGK6v4 What I Want to Talk About, by Pete Wharmby - https://amzn.eu/d/6tY0kZQ What is monotropism? - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/what-is-monotropism Last One Laughing - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LOL:_Last_One_Laughing_UK Ausome Training, Cothu course - https://ausometraining.com/cothu-with-pete-wharmby Declarative language - https://lifeskillsadvocate.com/blog/declarative-language-for-neurodivergent-communicators/ Anna Freud - https://www.annafreud.org/ Georgia Pavlopoulou (LinkedIn) - https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-georgia-pavlopoulou-651a042a Neuro Nook Storytime - https://www.neuronookstorytime.com/ Bedknobs and Broomsticks - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bedknobs_and_Broomsticks Silksong - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hollow_Knight:_Silksong ⸻ CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay

This episode of Neuroshambles, will resonate will all parents of neurodivergent kids, as Mark discusses difficulties with transition with the wonderful autism advocate, Pete Wharmby. Together, they delve into the messy, stressful, and often misunderstood world of transitions – from seemingly small everyday routines to major life changes. Whether it’s leaving the house, going into school, or prying them away from screen time, transitions can often be a sensory, emotional and logistical nightmare for parents of autistic, ADHD and PDA kids. But why exactly are they so hard – and what can we do to ease the load? In part one if this two part special, they discuss the neurological and emotional roots of transition difficulties, and how demand avoidance, anxiety and executive dysfunction play a role. This is an insightful, heartfelt, and cathartic episode full of insight, compassion and practical suggestions, as well as a much-needed sense of solidarity for anyone who’s ever dreaded their kids being invited to a birthday party. — CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 – Intro and why this is only part one 03:30 – Meet the guest: Pete Wharmby 12:00 – Transitions: What they are and why they’re so difficult 19:00 – Fear of the unknown 25:00 – Why birthday parties can be so anxiety-inducing 32:00 – Strategies for smoother transitions to the unknown 40:00 – School and powerlessness 48:00 – Holidays, Google Earth and visual planning 55:00 – Fear of the Known: Why school can feel like a punishment 1:03:00 – Processing struggles and instruction overload 1:13:00 – Fixable triggers and simple (free) accommodations 1:20:00 – The double-edged sword of hyperfocus 1:24:00 – Neurodiversity Champion: Fight For Ordinary 1:26:30 – Tiny Epic Wins 1:29:00 – What the Flip? Moments 1:33:00 – Wrap-up and tease for part 2 — LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION: Pete Wharmby website - https://petewharmby.com/ Untypical by Pete Wharmby - https://amzn.eu/d/8gGK6v4 What I Want to Talk About, by Pete Wharmby - https://amzn.eu/d/6tY0kZQ Fight for Ordinary - https://disabledchildrenspartnership.org.uk/fight-for-ordinary/ Google Maps Street View - https://www.google.com/streetview/ Google Earth - https://earth.google.com/web/ Ordnance Survey Maps - https://shop.ordnancesurvey.co.uk/ Albion In The Community - https://bhafcfoundation.org.uk/ Monotropism and Autism Theory - https://monotropism.org/ Interoception - https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/interoception-wellbeing — CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles — CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com

How do you hold down a job when your home life is full-on chaos? Mark is joined by fellow dad Mark Holborow to take a refreshingly honest look at the difficulties of holding down a job, while raising neurodivergent kids and trying (often unsuccessfully) to keep those two worlds from colliding.. They explore the dubious benefits of working from home, burnout, discrimination, and what happens when employers don’t understand - or care - about your home life. Mark Holborrow shares his career journey and how he’s built boundaries that actually work. Mark Allen opens up about the guilt of trying to “do it all”. It’s a cathartic, relatable deep dive into the realities of navigating employment when your home life is anything but typical - with plenty of laughs, rants, and candid talk about autism, ADHD, PDA and neurodivergent parenting. ⸻ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 – Intro & Listener Survey Feedback 05:30 – Meet the Guest: Mark Holborough 10:00 – The Challenges of working parents 16:30 – Working from Home with neurodifferent Kids 25:00 – Background chaos, interruptions and client calls 33:00 – The emotional guilt of being the breadwinner 40:00 – Supporting the non-working Parent 53:00 – How open can you be at work? 1:00:00 – Hiding a child at work: Real life stories 1:07:00 – Why parents of neuro-exceptional kids make great employees 1:13:00 – The economic cost of caring 1:26:00 – The Positives 1:29:00 – Neurodiversity Champions 1:33:00 – Tiny Epic Wins 1:37:00 – What the Flip? Moments 1:41:00 – Wrap-up and thanks ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Neuroshambles Listener Survey: https://forms.gle/2wFVupe4HumCYym6A LSE Report – The Economic Case for Prioritising Autism in Policy and Reform: http://lse.ac.uk/cpec/assets/documents/Autismeconomics.pdf The Sunflower Alliance – raising awareness of hidden disabilities: https://hdsunflower.com/ BUPA Medical Insurance: https://www.bupa.co.uk/health/health-insurance-ppc-b  ⸻ CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com  

Why do so many neurodivergent kids swear - loudly, creatively and often at the worst possible moment? Heidi Mavir returns for a lively and cathartic deep dive into swearing. From F-bombs on the trampoline to grandparent-safe alternatives, they explore how language, context, and neurodivergent wiring all shape how (and why) our kids swear. They explore the relationship between swearing and regulation, impulse control, PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance), sensory overload, and social context. Heidi shares her take on separating language from intent, and Mark talks about learning when it's best to simply look the other way. Whether you’re a proudly sweary household or struggling to police your neurodivergent child's potty-mouth moments, this insightful autism parenting podcast episode is packed with nuance, honesty, and a surprising amount of empathy - even for those who hate bad language. ⸻ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 - Welcome Back & Meet the Guest: Heidi Mavir 03:00 - School Turbulence, Burnout & Finding Your Flow 08:00 - Why Swearing Is This Week’s Topic 12:00 - What Is a Swear Word Anyway? 18:00 - Swearing, Context & Cultural Taboos 25:00 - Family Rules: “Nana Swears” vs “F-Bombs at Home” 33:00 - Parenting Through Swearing: Where Do You Draw the Line? 41:00 - PDA, Equalising Behaviour & Rage Rooms 50:00 - When the Swears Are Aimed at You 58:00 - Swearing as a Self-Regulation Strategy 1:03:00 - Should We Be Policing Swearing at All? 1:12:00 - Swearing and Impulse Control in ADHD 1:17:00 - Teaching Context Without Policing Expression 1:25:00 - Workarounds, Wordplay & Sweary Shenanigans 1:30:00 – Tiny Epic Wins 1:35:00 – What the Flip? Moments 1:40:00 - Wrap-Up & Where to Find Heidi ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Heidi Mavir website - https://www.heidimavir.com/ Heidi’s “Your child is not broken” book - https://amzn.eu/d/cjoih9W Eliza Fricker “Can’t not won’t” book - https://amzn.eu/d/91m7voc PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) - https://www.pdasociety.org.uk/what-is-pda/ “F*ck you I won’t do what you tell me”, song lyric by Rage Against The Machine - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWXazVhlyxQ Lindsay McGlone - https://www.instagram.com/rollinwithlindsay_/ Reclaimed Means Business - https://lindsaymcglone.kartra.com/page/RMB2025 ⸻ CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com

The Summer holidays. Six weeks of unstructured time. No routine. No school. Mark and Lisa Galley explore why the this can be such a challenging experience for parents of autistic, ADHD or PDA kids and why the concept of a “relaxing summer” is more often myth than reality. Touching on the common parental feelings of boredom, guilt and the ever-present FOMO, this is a candid, humorous and insightful look at what parents experience over the summer when it seems like we're under house arrest with our neurodivergent kids. Lisa shares strategies for low-demand structure and building in recovery time. Mark opens up about the fantasy of “the perfect summer” and how letting go of that can actually make things more enjoyable. Essential listening for anyone trying to survive the school holidays and come out of it with their sanity (mostly) intact. ⸻ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 - Intro & Meet the Guest: Lisa Galley 04:00 - Introducing the topic of the week 06:30 - The burden of boredom 10:00 - Dealing with guilt of not providing the "perfect" summer 17:00 - The loss of spontaneity and the rampant FOMO 26:30 - The unspoken impact on working parents 30:00 - Attempting to go on holiday 34:00 - The importance of summer holidays for our kids 38:00 - Q&A: Answering listeners' summer holiday questions 41:00 - Testing out home education in the summer 45:00 - How to help yourself as a parent 47:30 - The challenges of co-parenting in the summer holidays 58:00 - Advice from listeners 1:03:00 - The positives of the summer holidays 1:05:00 - Neurodiversity Champions 1:08:30 - Tiny Epic Wins 1:11:30 - "What the Flip?" moments 1:16:30 - Outro and Season Wrap-Up ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Lisa Galley Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/school_run_mum_autism/ Parent Carer Cheerleeding Squad Facebook Group - https://www.facebook.com/parentcarercheerleadingsquad Special Assistance at airports - https://www.caa.co.uk/passengers-and-public/special-assistance/accessing-special-assistance/ We're Not Your Typical Podcast - https://were-not-your-typical-podcast-258bbca3.simplecast.com/ Let’s Talk Neurodivergent Kids Podcast - https://pod.link/1442067009 Legoland Windsor Accessibility Pass - https://www.legoland.co.uk/plan-your-day/before-you-visit/accessibility/ "Holidays" episode of Neuroshambles - https://pod.link/1710455546/episode/2b5dc7973b418c9d6069ced370c409b9 "Hobbies" episode of Neuroshambles - https://pod.link/1710455546/episode/19a31193017cd7413d681ff3b36119eb Lisa Galley's Summer Survival Guide - https://lisagalley.myflodesk.com/survival ⸻ CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: pixabay.com

For autistic children - or those with ADHD, PDA, and other forms of neurodivergency, swimming can be simultaneously a magical sensory experience and an absolute logistical nightmare. Hatty Ashdown joins Mark to dive into the deceptively simple but totally chaotic world of swimming. From the infuriating act of trying to get them to swim in the first place, to negotiating the changing room routine, navigating the lockers and dealing with their antics in the pool, Mark and Hatty share candid and hilarious tales of what it’s like to take your neuro-exceptional brood swimming - and why we keep doing it, despite the enormous faff. This is a funny, heartfelt and painfully relatable episode about parenting neurodivergent kids that is well worth a listen if you've ever had to try to retrieve your child from inside a locker. ⸻ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 - Intro & Meet the Guest: Hatty Ashdown 06:00 - Topic of the Week: Swimming 09:00 - Why do neurodivergent kids love swimming? 15:00 - The challenge of teaching neurodivergent kids to swim 30:30 - The massive faff of a swimming trip: Hatty's routine 37:00 - The massive faff of a swimming trip: Mark's routine 42:00 - The chaos of changing rooms 46:30 - The stress of the lockers 53:00 - Shenanigans in the pool 59:30 - Losing their goggles 1:04:00 - The Positives: the joy of swimming 1:08:00 - Neurodiversity champions 1:12:00 - Tiny epic wins 1:15:00 - What the Flip? Moments 1:20:00 - Wrap-Up and Where to Find Hatty ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: • Hatty Ashdown’s Website – https://hattyashdown.com/ • Funny Mummies Podcast: Basics – https://pod.link/1451332466 • Funny Mummies Podcast: VIP (Patreon) – https://www.patreon.com/FunnyMummiesPodcast • Bella Ramsey (Neurodiversity Champion) – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bella_Ramsey ⸻ CONTACT US 🌐 Website: www.neuroshambles.com 📧 Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com

Following on from part 1, fan favourite Jo Matthews joins Mark once more for another laughter-filled, cathartic rant through the most mind-bogglingly ill-informed things people have said about raising autistic, ADHD, PDA and otherwise neurodivergent kids. In this episode, Mark and Jo go deeper into strategies for pushing back against ignorance without burning out. They discuss when to educate, when to ignore, and how to protect your peace when it feels like the world has no idea what you’re going through. Jo shares practical approaches for raising awareness in schools and extended families, and why some battles just aren’t worth fighting. This one’s full of laughter, reassurance, solidarity and a few tactical comebacks for the next time someone says, “They seem fine to me.” ⸻ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 - Intro & Meet the Guest: Jo Matthews Returns 05:30 - "Have you tried a routine?" 10:30 - "Have you tried a parenting course?" 13:30 - “Have you tried changing their diet?” 17:00 - "Why don't you take their screens away?" 20:00 - "Does he have mild autism?" 25:30 - Good autism v bad autism 29:00 - “We’re all a bit autistic" 34:30 - "ADHD is just an excuse" 37:00 - “It doesn't define him” 41:00 - "There's nothing wrong with him" 43:00 - Medical v Social models of disability 47:30 - "My kid does that" 50:00 - “He'll eat when he's hungry" 52:30 - “He'll grow out of it" 54:30 - “He doesn't look autistic" 56:30 - “But, he can talk, so he can’t be autistic” 59:00 - “ADHD is just for boys” 1:01:30 - "What's wrong with him?" 1:02:30 - "I bet he's good at maths" 1:04:30 - "I don't know how you do it" 1:07:00 - Misguided empathy: "I know how you feel" 1:09:00 - "But I do that and I'm not autistic" 1:14:00 - The completely batshit mental comments 1:20:00 - Neurodiversity Champions 1:21:30 - Tiny Epic Wins 1:25:00 - "What the flip?" moments 1:27:30 - Wrap-up & contact info ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: The medical vs social models of disability: www.scope.org.uk/about-us/social-model-of-disability/ Autism assessments (AQ Test): www.embrace-autism.com/aq-10/#test Bowles Outdoor Centre - www.bowles.rocks ⸻ CONTACT US 📧 Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com

In this episode, Mark is joined once again by the brilliant Jo Matthews for a cathartic, hilarious, and occasionally sweary dive into the unfiltered reality of parenting autistic, ADHD and PDA kids. From "It's just a label" and "He’s fine with me" to "You just need to push them out of their comfort zone", this is part one of a two-part special on the unsolicited commentary we all get, whether it’s from strangers, family members, or well-meaning-but-utterly-wrong professionals. The kind of comments that pretend to be supportive but are really just dismissive, ignorant, or unhelpfully optimistic. Together, Mark and Jo share personal stories, listener submissions, and a few moments of pure rage-laughter, as they unpack why these statements cut so deep - and how to push back with humour, honesty, and the occasional incredulous raise of the eyebrow. If you've ever encountered the ignorance of strangers and you're looking for a neurodivergent parenting podcast that makes you feel seen, this is the one for you. ⸻ CHAPTER TIMESTAMPS (Estimated): 00:00 – Intro & Meet the Guest: Jo Matthews 06:00 – “It's just a label” 08:00 - The story of Rube Waddell 16:00 - "Stop Mollycoddling your child" 21:00 - "You let them win too much" 22:30 - "Can't you just make them do it?" 26:00 - "You should make their home life more unpleasant" 28:00 - "Your parenting is wishy washy" 31:00 - "Children just need boundaries" 36:00 - "You need to push them out of their comfort zone" 43:00 - "Are you too afraid to say no?" 48:00 - "How will they manage in the real world?" 52:00 - "Sometimes, it's a choice" 54:00 - "They're just trying to get their own way" 01:02:00 - "They're fine when they're with me" 01:07:00 - The Positives 01:09:30 - Neurodiversity Champions 01:12:00 - Tiny Epic Wins 01:14:30 - What the Flip? 01:17:00 - Wrap-Up & What’s Coming in Part Two ⸻ LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Rube Waddell - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rube_Waddell "Am I raising an arsehole?" episode of Neuroshambles -https://pod.link/1710455546/episode/a313c1057becbcd2e24d64c5bf94820e "The Explosive Child" book - https://drrossgreene.com/the-explosive-child.htm ⸻ CONTACT US 📧 Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com

In this episode, Nicole Bateman joins Mark to explore why neurodivergent kids often struggle to take up hobbies - those wholesome after-school activities that see neurotypical kids flourish… but which, for many parents of autistic, ADHD or PDA kids are either a logistical nightmare, a sensory minefield, or a fast track to public meltdown. Together, they explore the myths, pressures and downright ridiculousness of what “having hobbies” means when you are parenting neurodivergent children. Nicole shares how she’s reframed success and what helps her child engage without pressure. Mark opens up about the guilt, the frustration and the financial strain of trying to nurture interests that never seem to last past the first session. They cover what actually works, what definitely doesn’t, and the benefits of learning to follow your neurodifferent child's lead, so you can meet them where they're at, rather than where you want them to be. It’s an honest, often funny conversation about persistence, passion and letting go of neurotypical timelines.   STUFF WE COVER: 00:00 – Intro & Meet the Guest: Nicole Bateman 03:00 – The fantasy of hobbies vs the reality 08:00 – Issues with trust and accessibility 13:00 – After-school clubs 18:00 – The Summer holiday hobby void 25:00 – Trying to force your neurodivergent children to have a hobby 33:00 – Social disconnect in group settings 39:00 – When your best intentions fail 44:00 - Environmental barriers to adopting a hobby 47:00 – Competitive Sport: Gift or Curse? 53:00 – Caesar-or-Nothing syndrome & hobby avoidance 59:00 – Drop-off disasters 1:07:00 – What *does* work? 1:12:00 – It's not all rubbish: A look at the positives 1:15:00 – Neurodiversity Champions 1:23:00 – Tiny Epic Wins 1:26:00 – What the Flip? Moments 1:29:00 – Wrap-Up & Where to Find Nicole   LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: Nicole Bateman’s Website – Friendly SEND Advisor and Super Sensory Squad: https://nicolebateman.co.uk/ Conversations with a SEND Mum – Nicole’s podcast: https://conversationswithasendmum.buzzsprout.com/ Super Sensory Squad Book – ‘Buzz’s Birthday’ and other penguin-based sensory tools: https://www.thesupersensorysquad.com/ Cub Scouts: https://www.scouts.org.uk/cubs/being-a-cub/joining-cubs/ Lisa Lloyd reel - Neurotypicals watching what their parents watch: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DIzCFBxNzxT “Why Can’t I Just Enjoy Things?” by Pierre Novellie – Caesar-or-nothing brains and comedy insight: https://amzn.eu/d/dSZA4dC Minecraft Club - Online Social Group for 7-14 year olds: https://minecraftclub.co.uk/ Press Play - Stop frame animation workshops in Sussex: https://pressplayfilms.co.uk/  Boogie Beat - Music and movement classes: https://boogiebeat.co.uk/ Sam Mills – Disability Tennis Brighton: Email [email protected] for information   CONTACT US 📧 Email: [email protected] 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles   CREDITS 🎶 Theme music by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com  

Shopping - whether it’s for clothes, food or shoes - can be a sensory, emotional and logistical nightmare when you’re parenting autistic or ADHD children. Helen Stuart joins Mark to discuss why “just popping to the shops” is a long-held pipedream. They share tales from the front line of their own shopping trip traumas, and discuss how sensory overload, PDA, and unpredictable environments make supermarkets and shopping centres feel like hostile territory. Helen explains the practical steps her family takes to get through it - and when they just opt out entirely. Mark shares how even a trip to the corner shop has to be planned like a military operation, and how public perception adds a whole extra layer of pressure. A funny, honest episode that every neurodivergent parenting family will relate to.   STUFF WE COVER: 00:00 – Intro & Listener Feedback 02:00 – Meet the Guest: Helen Stuart 06:00 – Topic of the Week: Shopping 13:00 – Why Supermarkets Are Sensory Torture 19:00 – The Emotional Toll of Trolleys and Comments 25:00 – PDA Autonomy, Meltdowns, and the Elsa Cup Incident 33:00 – Supermarket Sweep, PDA-Style 39:00 – Self-Checkouts vs Human Interaction 45:00 – Clothing & Footwear Battles 52:00 – Lush, Libraries and Return Rage 59:00 – When Book Tokens Become a Poisoned Chalice 1:04:00 – The Positives (Yes, Really!) 1:10:00 – Neurodiversity Champions 1:16:00 – Tiny Epic Wins 1:20:00 – What the Flip? Moments 1:23:00 – Wrap-Up & Thrive Together Info LINKS TO STUFF WE MENTION IN THIS EPISODE: PDA Society - Support and resources for families living with a PDA profile: https://www.pdasociety.org.uk Supermarket Sweep - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Supermarket_Sweep_(British_game_show) Sunflower Lanyard Scheme - For invisible disabilities: https://hiddendisabilitiesstore.com Waterstones Book Tokens - https://www.waterstones.com/help/gift-cards-and-vouchers/32 H&M - https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/kids.html Skechers - https://www.skechers.co.uk/kids/ Lindsay's Swim School - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063580090089&sk=about Nelson Street Church, Rochdale - https://www.nelsonstreetchurch.org/ Thrive Together Training website – https://thrivetogethertraining.co.uk Thrive Together Training Facebook page – www.facebook.com/thrivetogethertraining Thrive Together Training Instagram account – www.instagram.com/thrivetogethertraining ⸻ CONTACT US 🎧 Do you have a “What the flip?” moment or a tiny epic win to share? 📧 Email us: [email protected] ⸻ FOLLOW US 📸 Instagram: @neuroshambles 🎵 TikTok: @neuroshamblespod 📘 Facebook: Neuroshambles 🧵 Threads: @neuroshambles ⸻ CREDITS 🎶 Theme tune by Skilsel on Pixabay: https://pixabay.com