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If things feel safe in person but the moment you’re apart your brain goes into panic mode… this is the episode to save, replay, and send to your bestie. In this episode I share: ✨ Why your brain goes into “red alert” even when there’s no actual danger ✨ What overthinking is really trying to protect you from ✨ How anxious attachment can show up as avoidant behavior ✨ The sneaky ways your anxiety becomes a compulsion (yes, like gambling) ✨ What finally helped me stop trying to micromanage my relationship This one’s personal... I also share how the same overthinking loop showed up in planning my trip to the Philippines (including seeing my dad for the first time in years)… and what finally helped me feel safe enough to stop trying to figure it all out. And if you feel like you logically know there’s no threat but your body still freaks out? You're not broken. You're running an old system. Inside The Healing Girl Gang, we don’t just talk about the theory, we practice the new pattern. 🎧 So if you’re tired of always waiting for the other shoe to drop, this is your sign to listen. 🦋 Ready for the deeper work?  🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥  💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖 🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕 FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

In today’s episode, I’m getting real about the moment I didn’t look at the facts and how my relationship paid the price. If you’re an overthinker, a scenario-maker, a “what if” queen, or someone who keeps searching for problems when there are none… this episode is for you. Because here’s the hard truth: 👉 Overthinking in relationships isn’t emotional intelligence. 👉 It’s avoidance. 👉 And it quietly pushes safe, loving partners away. If you’ve ever wondered, “Wait… am I the drama?” (lovingly), you’re in the right place. In this episode we talk about: ✨ Why anxious attachment makes you question healthy relationships ✨ How self-sabotage shows up as “being logical” or “being cautious” ✨ The difference between facts vs. stories your anxiety creates ✨ Why safe love can feel boring, uncomfortable, or “wrong” at first ✨ How trying to control conversations and outcomes kills intimacy ✨ What it actually takes to stop pushing good people away   I also share a personal update after my hysterectomy recovery, how this same self-sabotage pattern showed up in my health journey, and why anxious attachment isn’t just about dating... it’s about how we avoid deeper emotional truth in every area of life. If you’re a high-achieving woman who is crushing it in your career but spiraling in your relationship… I see you. You are not broken. You’re just running an outdated emotional system. 🦋 Ready for the deeper work?  🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥  💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖 🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕 FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

Welcome back to the Be That Healing Girl podcast! 🧠💘 Today’s episode is for the girlies who are exhausted from being the emotional project manager of their relationship. You know the one: the planner, the fixer, the emotional laborer, the one Googling “how to stop being anxious but still be lovable.” If your brain tells you, “If I stop trying, nothing will happen,” and you're scared your relationship will crumble unless you give 200% every second… this episode will hit. hard. 👀 We’re talking: - The lie anxious attachment tells you about effort = love - How overfunctioning is killing your vibe and your connection - What it actually means to feel safe and loved without working overtime - And why letting your partner choose you requires you to chill (even if it makes you twitchy) Plus... an update from my hysterectomy recovery era and how Head Nurse Craig is thriving, and I am deeply humbled and deeply moisturized. 🎧 And don’t forget: if you’re tired of the spiral, the resentment, and the fake chill girl act, the Healing Girl Gang is where we turn information into actual transformation. It’s not just “awareness,” babe. It’s reps, it’s nervous system work, it’s receipts. Come do the work and feel good doing it! 🦋 Ready for the deeper work?  🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥  💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖 🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕 FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

If your brain goes from 0 to 100 the second something feels “off” ... if you replay conversations, wait for texts, or feel that frantic “I have to fix this” energy... this episode is for you! In today's podcast I’m walking you through a simple, science‑backed breathing tool you can use right now to slow down an anxious spiral and bring your nervous system back online. This is the tool I personally use when: • I feel the urge to check my phone • My thoughts start racing • My body feels buzzy, panicky, or unsafe • My anxious attachment is running the show Inside this episode, you’ll learn: ✨ Why anxiety and anxious attachment thrive on speed ✨ What a “psychological sigh” is and how it calms your nervous system ✨ A step‑by‑step breathing technique to use when you’re spiraling ✨ The difference between calming a symptom vs. rewiring the system And I’m also going to be real with you: This tool will slow the spiral, but it won’t heal anxious attachment by itself. That happens when you change the system your nervous system is running on. That’s exactly what we do inside Healing Girl Gang through reps, structure, and real‑life nervous system retraining, not just mindset hacks. And just know: You are not broken. You are not too much. Your nervous system learned a pattern... and it can learn a new one.   🦋 Ready for the deeper work?  🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥  💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖 🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕 FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

If you’ve ever said *“I’m gonna be the BEST partner ever and do all the right things”… and then wondered why you still feel anxious, on edge, or like you're constantly spiraling... this episode is for you. Today, I’m breaking down why over-focusing on your relationship is actually making you feel less secure, more anxious, and totally disconnected from yourself. Inside this episode, we dive into: 💔 The sneaky anxious attachment loop that leads to emotional burnout 🔁 Why logic alone won’t soothe your nervous system 🧠 How hyper-focusing on your partner creates fragility in your relationship 📱 The role your phone (yep!) plays in your spirals 🌱 What “watering your own garden” actually looks like when you have anxious tendencies Plus, I share a personal story about going to the movies alone (and loving it!) something old-me would never have done, and why this tiny moment marked a huge healing milestone. This episode is part love letter, part wake-up call and it’s the kind of grounded nervous system reframe I wish I had years ago. If you’re an anxious achiever, a closeted overfunctioner, or a recovering people-pleaser who’s tired of trying to “fix” your relationship by fixing yourself... listen to this one all the way through. There’s no shame here, just clarity, tools, and space to breathe again. 👇 Let me know in the comments if this hit home, and say “girlgang” if you’re ready to rewire this pattern with me inside The Healing Girl Gang.   🦋 Ready for the deeper work?  🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥  💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖 🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕 FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

In this episode we’re breaking down the 3 most common (but sneaky) anxious attachment habits that slowly destroy connection over time... even in loving relationships! If you: - Feel like you’re too much or never enough - Constantly overanalyze texts, tone, or timing - Chase closeness, but end up feeling even more alone… This episode is your wake-up call and your path to healing!   We’ll dive into: 💔 The hidden habits rooted in fear of abandonment 🧠 Why “logic” won’t save you from spiraling 💡 What to do instead to create security, closeness, and calm   Whether you’re currently in a relationship or just trying to break old patterns before your next one, this is a must-listen! 🎧 Save it, share it, and come back when you need the reminder. P.s. If you're new here, this is exactly the kind of deep nervous system work we do inside of my community, the Healing Girl Gang - because healing anxious attachment doesn’t just change your relationships… it changes you. Let me know which habit resonated most in the comments 💬👇   🦋 Ready for the deeper work?  🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥  💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖 🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕 FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

If your thoughts are spiraling… If you’re checking your phone again… If your brain won’t slow down and it feels like your nervous system is in overdrive… This episode is your quick reset. 🤍 In today’s episode I’m walking you through the fastest and most effective tool I use to calm an anxious spiral (especially when I don’t have the luxury of sitting in it). This isn’t a long list of coping strategies. It’s one tool. One moment. One practice. To bring you back to yourself. We’ll cover: ✨ How to disrupt an anxious overthinking loop in real time ✨ Why your chest breath might be making things worse ✨ The underrated ancient practice that resets your nervous system ✨ How to be present when you feel totally out of control If your texts are open, your heart is pounding, and you’re stuck refreshing their story or waiting for a reply… you’re not alone! I’ve been there. This is exactly the kind of moment where this tool matters most. 🎧 Save this episode. Come back to it. Share it with a friend who spirals too. And if you’re listening while I’m recovering from surgery (yep, hysterectomy time), send some love my way. I’ll take all the healing vibes you’ve got. 💌 As always, this is the kind of real, grounded, nervous system support we do inside the Healing Girl Gang. You are so not alone.   🦋 Ready for the deeper work?  🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥  💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖 🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕 FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

In today’s episode I’m breaking down why your nervous system reacts so intensely to your partner’s mood, distance, or emotional shifts... and more importantly, how to stay grounded instead of spiraling. This one is especially for my high‑achieving, high‑functioning girlies who are crushing it at work… but feel like they’re one unread message away from losing their peace in love. We’re talking about: ✨ Why “the vibes feel off” can completely derail your nervous system ✨ The difference between reacting from fear vs responding from regulation ✨ Why reassurance only works temporarily (and what actually creates safety) ✨ How anxious attachment keeps you stuck trying to outthink or outwork your emotions ✨ The nervous system mistake high achievers make in relationships ✨ How to stay grounded (even when there is distance, silence, or uncertainty) I also share personal updates around my upcoming hysterectomy and how physical discomfort, overstimulation, and stress lower our emotional threshold - making relationship anxiety feel louder and harder to manage. (Spoiler: this isn’t about “doing more,” it’s about reducing the load.) Plus, I’m celebrating a HUGE win from a client who is navigating dating without losing herself! Proof that healing anxious attachment isn’t about perfection, it’s about recommitment. Sending you so much love, Clare 🤍   🦋 Ready for the deeper work?  🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥  💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖 🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕 FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

🦋 Ready for the deeper work?  🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥  💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖 🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕 FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

You say “I’m fine”… But your stomach’s in knots. Your voice is quieter than usual. You’re spinning in your head while trying to act chill on the outside. Sound familiar? In this episode, I’m breaking down what really happens in your body, your brain, and your relationships when you keep pretending everything’s okay… especially when it’s not! This is for the high-achieving girlies who can hold it all together at work, but are overthinking up a storm in their relationships. The ones who’ve been told they’re “too much” and the ones who’ve been praised for being “so strong” (but you’re exhausted). 🫠 Yeah, this one’s for you. We’ll talk about: ✨ What your nervous system is doing when you default to “I’m fine” ✨ Why this pattern is common for anxiously attached, people-pleasing girlies like us. ✨ How to gently shift toward safety, visibility, and actually being known 🦋 Ready for the deeper work?  🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥  💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖 🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕 FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

We’ve always agreed we didn’t want kids.
But suddenly, with a hysterectomy on the table…
I felt wobbly.
And there was this tiny part of me whispering, “If I bring up my 'unsureness'… is everything going to change?” In my past relationships, feeling unsure or changing my mind felt like a no-go zone.
 I could be decisive and confident everywhere else… (hello career overachiever with receipts) 
but inside my relationships, I was terrified that my truth would ruin everything. My inner perfectionist would jump straight into action:
“Nothing to see here! I’m calm! I’m chill!”
 Meanwhile my body was in a full panic on the inside. And the thing I learned the hard way in those old push-pull dynamics was this:
the more honest I was (with him and myself), the closer we became.
Pretending never protected anything 🚨NEWS FLASH🚨 it just protects our fear. So when I finally got real with Craig about how this news made me feel…
how something inside of me shifted around the idea of kids now that the option might be taken away…
he didn’t freak out.
He didn’t it shut down.
He didn’t make it weird. He listened.
 He stayed with me.
He held the moment instead of turning away from it. And that’s when it hit me more clearly than ever hiding never helps.
It only hurts. Because the second you start censoring yourself to “keep the peace,” the peace is already gone.
You can’t stay connected AND abandon yourself at the same time. Changing your mind isn’t wrong.
Feeling something new isn’t wrong.
Saying it out loud is what keeps you close, to your partner and to yourself. 🦋 Ready for the deeper work?  🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥  💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖 🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕 FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

This week, we’re diving deep into a topic I know hits home for so many high-achieving, anxious girlies: why stillness can feel so unsafe when you have relationship anxiety. If you ever catch yourself spiraling because the vibe feels “off,” or if a little space in communication has you convinced the whole relationship is doomed…this episode is for you. Inside this episode, I’m sharing: ✨ Why anxious attachment makes rest and stillness feel dangerous ✨ How I learned to stop overfunctioning and start receiving love (hint: it took surgery and a lot of surrender) ✨ What my explant and fibroid journeys taught me about safety, slowing down, and trusting myself ✨ The belief I had to UNLEARN in order to feel secure in my body and my relationships   ✨ Why stillness is a skill (especially if you grew up in a high-pressure, achievement-driven household)   ✨ How I support Healing Girl Gang members in rewiring their nervous systems for safety and self-trust ✨ A powerful listener Q&A about breaking the cycle of anxious spiraling in a secure relationship Whether you’re a career rockstar, business owner, or have a few letters behind your name (MD, RN, Esq, PhD…) — and yet still feel like a mess when someone doesn’t text back, you’re in the right place. This episode isn’t about fixing you... it’s about helping you feel safe enough to finally rest, receive, and trust yourself and your partner. If you’re ready to learn how to stop self-sabotaging and start feeling safe in love, hit play. And if you’re craving step-by-step support, come join us inside The Healing Girl Gang (where we practice these tools every single month!)   🦋 Ready for the deeper work?  🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥  💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖 🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕 FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

If you're constantly planning, smoothing things over, doing the most in your relationship while low-key wondering “Why can’t they just do more??” — this episode is for you. 💥 If you're a high-achieving, hyper-capable girly who’s exhausted from holding it all together in love, this is your sign to stop performing and start receiving. Period. 👀 In this episode, I break down: • The sneaky ways anxious attachment disguises itself as “being helpful” • Why trying to “earn love through effort” is killing your intimacy • How overgiving actually blocks your partner from stepping up • What it really means to feel chosen without performing • How to stop managing your relationship like a second job • What to do instead — so you feel prioritized and adored 🎧 We also get into: • A client win that had me in my feels 🥹 (from overthinking queen to secure & supported) • A peek inside what’s working inside Healing Girl Gang • How my husband Craig reminded me (with an accent wall no less 😅) what can happen when we let go and receive This one’s part tough love, part best friend pep talk, and all soul truth. Because you don’t need to earn love. You deserve to feel it, just as you are. 👇 JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG Weekly trainings, nervous system resets, and live support so you stop spiraling and start receiving: HealingGirlGang.com 🦋 Ready for the deeper work?  🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥  💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖 🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕 FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

In this episoe we’re talking about how to feel like a priority in your relationship... without slipping into overthinking, over‑analyzing every text, or feeling like you’re “asking for too much.” This episode is for you if: • You know they care about you… but you can’t always feel it • You find yourself checking for proof or reassurance • You are tired of being the one initiating, planning, or emotionally leading • Your brain does wind sprints when there’s space or distance in the relationship • You’re successful in every other area of life, but your nervous system goes ✨ feral✨ in love   Trust me, I’ve lived this. I went from anxiously attached (and chronically exhausted from managing the relationship in my head) to actually feeling chosen, safe, and prioritized in a secure partnership. And we’re unpacking exactly how that shift happens today. 💛 🌙 If you're new: I’m Clare! Relationship and attachment coach for high‑achieving women who are incredible at life… but feel wobbly in love. MDs, founders, attorneys, academics, corporate powerhouses - the girlies who “have their life together” but still spiral at the slow text response? Yep. You’re home. Love you, mean it. x Clare 🤍 🦋 Ready for the deeper work?  🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥  💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖 🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕 FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session

You're not needy. You're just healing! In this episode, I’m sharing how I accidentally rewired my anxious attachment into a secure one...without forcing it, faking it, or labeling myself as “crazy.” If you’ve ever found yourself wondering: “Why am I spiraling when everything is fine?” “Why do I panic when things finally feel safe?” …or “Why can’t I just stay calm in a good relationship?” This one’s for you, bb 🫶 👇Here’s what we’re unpacking today: ✨ Why your brain freaks out when your body finally relaxes ✨ How “self-awareness” can actually be a form of over-control ✨ Why you still feel unsafe in a healthy relationship ✨ What it really means to self-regulate vs. spiral ✨ The power of experiencing consistent love (instead of just talking about it) ✨ And how your partner’s stability can rewire your nervous system—if you let it PLUS: real wins from the Healing Girl Gang! 💌 If you’re a high-achieving, emotionally intelligent woman who crushes it at work but crumbles inside a text bubble… this one’s for you. 🫶 Whether you’re newly dating, navigating relationship anxiety, or trying to trust your GOOD partner, this episode will give you the real talk, mindset shifts, and embodiment work you didn’t know you needed. 🦋 Ready for the deeper work?  🔥Click here to grab the Relationship Glow-up Guide! 🔥  💖JOIN THE HEALING GIRL GANG!💖 🔥CONFIDENCE CODE 💕 FOLLOW CLARE ON Instagram, TikTok or YouTube WORK WITH ME: VIP 1:1 Session