Advertise on podcast: Every Man’s Battle Podcast

These October messages are re-broadcasts from our most popular, relevant, and helpful messages that are worth listening to again to stay focused and strong over the changing seasons as you continue fighting Every Man’s Battle.📻 𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙈𝙖𝙣’𝙨 𝘽𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙋𝙤𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙨𝙩 – 𝐄𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐝𝐞 𝟏𝟕 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐍𝐨tesIn this facilitator spotlight, JJ West interviews longtime Every Man’s Battle and Sustained Victory leader Jim Phillis, recorded live at an EMB intensive in Washington, DC. Jim shares his journey from early masturbation and pornography in Peoria, to a dramatic Good Friday conversion, to years of pastoral ministry shadowed by secret acting out, and finally to a life of freedom, transparency, and group leadership through New Life.You’ll hear:How a blunt question from a Campus Life leader and the prayers of his now‑wife Susan led Jim to recognize his addictions as crutches and surrender to Christ.Why a terrifying confession to a prayer partner at a pastors’ conference (“I’m struggling with porn and masturbation”) became the doorway to real accountability and change.What Jim wishes he’d done differently—addressing acting in behaviors and hiding from his wife sooner—and why transparency and ongoing groups like Sustained Victory are now central to his own recovery and ministry to other men.🎟 Use code 𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐏𝐎𝐃 to save $100 when you register for the Every Man’s Battle Intensive, and ask about Sustained Victory and other groups so you don’t try to do this alone.📧 𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐔𝐒 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐅𝐎R EMAIL 𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐒Want extra content to encourage your integrity, delivered via email each month?👉 Email [email protected] with “Bonus Content” in the subject line to receive exclusive Every Man’s Battle Podcast resources.​Have a question about recovery, Sustained Victory, or future topics?👉 Email [email protected] with “Podcast Question” in the subject line.☎️ Need a counselor, coach, or group?👉 Call 800‑NEW‑LIFE or visit NewLife.com to connect with Christian counseling, life coaching, and recovery groups.🎟 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋 𝐎𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐑 – 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐍’𝐒 𝐁𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐒𝐔𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐃 𝐕𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘If Jim’s story resonates—secret porn use, ministry pressure, fear of being found out, and decades of partial measures—it may be time to step into the same path God used to set him free. The Every Man’s Battle Intensive is a 3‑day, Christ‑centered workshop that combines expert teaching and small‑group work to address both the root causes and behaviors of sexual brokenness.After the weekend, Sustained Victory and other New Life recovery groups offer ongoing, structured support so you don’t have to walk the path alone. These groups are made up of EMB alumni and provide a shared language, consistent accountability, and a place to keep practicing transparency long after the workshop ends.💵 Concerned about cost? Scholarships are often available so finances don’t have to be the reason you stay stuck. When you call 800‑NEW‑LIFE, ask about assistance for the Every Man’s Battle Intensive and related groups.Use code 𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐏𝐎𝐃 when you register to save $100 on your Every Man’s Battle tuition.🎧 Discover more ways to listen watch:👉 Every Man’s Battle Podcast hub: https://newlife.com/podcasts/every-mans-battle/👉 New Life LIVE other New Life podcasts: https://newlife.com/podcasts/#EveryMansBattle #SexualIntegrity #PornRecovery #PastorStory #Transparency #SustainedVictory #NewLifeMinistries

These October messages are re-broadcasts from our most popular, relevant, and helpful messages that are worth listening to again to stay focused and strong over the changing seasons as you continue fighting Every Man’s Battle.📻 𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙈𝙖𝙣’𝙨 𝘽𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙋𝙤𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙨𝙩 – 𝐄𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐝𝐞 𝟏𝟔 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐍𝐨tesIn this final installment of the Key Elements of Transformation series, licensed counselors JJ West and Doug Barnes explain why you cannot do sexual integrity recovery alone and why behavior change without heart change eventually fails. Building on earlier episodes about grace, surrender, story work, and compassion, they now unpack how community, confrontation, and honest feedback become instruments of God’s transforming grace.You’ll learn:Why isolation keeps your blind spots hidden, and how safe, truth‑telling brothers (not “yes‑men”) help you see and change destructive patterns.The critical difference between behavior modification (short‑term, performance‑driven) and heart transformation (Spirit‑led, relational, long‑term), and how each impacts your spouse, children, church, and friends.How courageous conversations—like friends confronting JJ about major life decisions or chronic lateness—illustrate the kind of community every man needs for lasting change.🎟 Use code 𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐏𝐎𝐃 to save $100 when you register for the Every Man’s Battle Intensive, and ask about scholarships so finances don’t keep you from the help and community you need.📧 𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐔𝐒 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐅𝐎R EMAIL 𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐒Want extra content to encourage your integrity, delivered via email each month?👉 Email [email protected] with “Bonus Content” in the subject line to receive exclusive Every Man’s Battle Podcast resources.​Have a question, story, or idea for a future episode?👉 Email [email protected] with “Podcast Question” in the subject line so JJ and Doug can consider it for upcoming QA episodes.☎️ Need a counselor, mentor, or group to walk with you?👉 Call 800‑NEW‑LIFE or visit NewLife.com to find Christian counseling and men’s sexual integrity groups (in‑person and online).🎟 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋 𝐎𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐑 – 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐍’𝐒 𝐁𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐌𝐄𝐍’𝐒 𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐏𝐒If this series has highlighted how much you’ve tried to do recovery alone or rely on behavior checklists, it’s time to step into brotherhood and heart transformation. The Every Man’s Battle Intensive is a 3‑day, Christ‑centered workshop where licensed Christian counselors and trained facilitators walk you and a small group of men through teaching, story work, and practical tools you can’t get by yourself.After the workshop, you can plug into Every Man’s Battle groups, Men’s Sexual Integrity groups, and other support/12‑step style groups that New Life offers in person and online, so you’re never walking this path alone again.💵 Worried about cost? Scholarships are available because New Life does not want finances to be the reason you stay in bondage. When you call 800‑NEW‑LIFE, ask about assistance for the Every Man’s Battle Intensive and related groups.Use code 𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐏𝐎𝐃 when you register to save $100 on your Every Man’s Battle tuition.🎧 Discover more ways to listen watch:👉 Every Man’s Battle Podcast hub: https://newlife.com/podcasts/every-mans-battle/👉 New Life LIVE other New Life podcasts: https://newlife.com/podcasts/#EveryMansBattle #SexualIntegrity #Transformation #HeartChangeVsBehaviorChange #Community #BrothersInTheBattle #NewLifeMinistries

These October messages are re-broadcasts from our most popular, relevant, and helpful messages that are worth listening to again to stay focused and strong over the changing seasons as you continue fighting Every Man’s Battle.📻 𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙈𝙖𝙣’𝙨 𝘽𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙋𝙤𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙨𝙩 – 𝐄𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐝𝐞 𝟏𝟓 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐍𝐨𝐓𝐄𝐒In Part 2 of the Key Elements of Transformation series, licensed counselors JJ West and Doug Barnes draw on Gabor Maté’s insight that the real question is not “Why the addiction?” but “Why the pain?” They show how sexual acting out is a flawed attempt to soothe unaddressed childhood wounds, and they model a compassionate, curious way of revisiting those stories instead of piling on more shame.You’ll learn:Why slowing down, journaling, and tracing your last relapse backward in time helps identify emotions, thoughts, and needs that drove the behavior.How JJ’s and Doug’s own stories of public shame and insignificance still echo in adulthood—and how compassionate re‑parenting of their younger selves changes their responses today.Practical first steps for processing acting out (journaling, naming needs, seeking legitimate ways to meet them) and why doing this work in community—through groups like Sustained Victory and other men’s sexual integrity meetings—is essential for lasting transformation.🎟 Use code 𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐏𝐎𝐃 to save $100 when you register for the Every Man’s Battle Intensive, and ask about scholarships so finances don’t keep you from the help you need.📧 𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐔𝐒 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐅𝐎R EMAIL 𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐒Want extra content to encourage your integrity, delivered via email each month?👉 Email [email protected] with “Bonus Content” in the subject line to receive exclusive Every Man’s Battle Podcast resources.​Have questions or feedback, or want JJ and Doug to address your specific struggle in a future episode?👉 Email [email protected] with “Podcast Question” in the subject line.☎️ Need prayer, a counselor, or help finding a group?👉 Call 800‑NEW‑LIFE or visit NewLife.com for counseling, groups, and faith‑based sexual integrity resources.🎟 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋 𝐎𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐑 – 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐍’𝐒 𝐁𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐌𝐄𝐍’𝐒 𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐏𝐒If you’re tired of beating yourself up after each relapse and ready to learn why you keep going back, the Every Man’s Battle Intensive is a crucial next step. This 3‑day, in‑person workshop combines teaching, story work, small‑group interaction, and practical tools so men can address both behaviors and the pain beneath them.After the weekend, Sustained Victory and other New Life men’s sexual integrity groups offer the ongoing support, accountability, and compassionate community needed to keep processing wounds, needs, and triggers in real time.💵 Concerned about cost? Scholarships are available because New Life does not want finances to be the reason you stay stuck. When you call 800‑NEW‑LIFE, ask about assistance for Every Man’s Battle and ongoing groups.Use code 𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐏𝐎𝐃 when you register to save $100 on your Every Man’s Battle registration.🎧 Discover more ways to listen watch:👉 Every Man’s Battle Podcast hub: https://newlife.com/podcasts/every-mans-battle/👉 New Life LIVE other podcasts: https://newlife.com/podcasts/#EveryMansBattle #SexualIntegrity #Transformation #GaborMate #ChildhoodWounds #CompassionateInquiry #Journaling #SustainedVictory #NewLifeMinistries

These October messages are re-broadcasts from our most popular, relevant, and helpful messages that are worth listening to again to stay focused and strong over the changing seasons as you continue fighting Every Man’s Battle.📻 𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙈𝙖𝙣’𝙨 𝘽𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙋𝙤𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙨𝙩 – 𝐄𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐝𝐞 𝟏𝟒 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐍𝐨𝐓𝐄𝐒In Part 1 of a two‑episode series on the key elements of transformation, licensed counselors JJ West and Doug Barnes unpack why sexual integrity is about far more than “not looking at porn” or “trying harder.” They distinguish behavior modification from grace‑centered heart change, emphasizing that without surrender, story work, and community, men will either white‑knuckle sobriety or simply swap one unhealthy behavior for another.You’ll learn:Why surrender to God’s care is not weakness or defeat, but the doorway to freedom and real spiritual transformation.How understanding your story behind your unwanted behaviors—with curiosity and kindness, not contempt—helps you identify the wounds you keep reenacting in adulthood.Why community (Sustained Victory groups, church relationships, brothers in the battle) is essential for lasting change, and how to join the EMB email list and survey so the podcast can better serve you.🎟 Use code 𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐏𝐎𝐃 to save $100 when you register for the Every Man’s Battle Intensive, and ask about scholarships so finances don’t keep you from the help you need.📧 𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐔𝐒 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓, 𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐘 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒JJ pauses mid‑episode to make a specific request:Become part of the EMB email list so the team can better serve you.Complete a short listener survey that will shape future topics and resources.👉 To join: email [email protected] and ask to be added to the Every Man’s Battle Podcast list and receive the survey.Want extra content to encourage your integrity, delivered via email each month?👉 Email [email protected] with “Bonus Content” in the subject line.Have a question or topic suggestion?👉 Email [email protected] with “Podcast Question” in the subject line.☎️ Need prayer, a counselor, or more info on workshops and groups?👉 Call 800‑NEW‑LIFE or visit NewLife.com for counseling, groups, and faith‑based sexual integrity resources.🎟 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋 𝐎𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐑 – 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐍’𝐒 𝐁𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐒𝐔𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐃 𝐕𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘If you’re realizing you’ve tried to white‑knuckle change without surrender, story work, or real community, the Every Man’s Battle Intensive is a vital next step. This 3‑day, in‑person workshop brings together licensed Christian counselors and a small group of men for teaching, story work, and practical tools to move beyond behavior modification into heart‑level transformation.After the weekend, Sustained Victory weekly groups provide the ongoing brotherhood, accountability, and grace‑filled feedback that help men live out what they learned, instead of slipping back into old patterns.💵 Concerned about cost? New Life offers scholarships because finances should never be the reason a man stays stuck. When you call 800‑NEW‑LIFE, ask about assistance for both Every Man’s Battle and Sustained Victory.Use code 𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐏𝐎𝐃 when you register to save $100 on your Every Man’s Battle registration.🎧 Discover more ways to listen watch:👉 Every Man’s Battle Podcast hub: https://newlife.com/podcasts/every-mans-battle/👉 New Life LIVE other podcasts: https://newlife.com/podcasts/#EveryMansBattle #SexualIntegrity #Transformation #Surrender #StoryWork #GraceNotShame #SustainedVictory #EveryMansBattleWorkshop #NewLifeMinistries

These September messages are re-broadcasts from our most popular, relevant, and helpful messages that are worth listening to again to stay focused and strong over the changing seasons as you continue fighting Every Man’s Battle.📻 𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙈𝙖𝙣’𝙨 𝘽𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙋𝙤𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙨𝙩 – 𝐄𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐝𝐞 𝟏𝟑 Show NotesIn this Season 3 “meet the facilitators” episode, licensed counselors JJ West and Doug Barnes interview Joe Elliott, an Every Man’s Battle breakout‑group and Sustained Victory facilitator whose story spans childhood exposure to sexualized media, decades of acting out across nearly all sexual boundaries, and a powerful turn toward freedom and service. Joe first attended EMB in 2011 after his wife, Kyra, confronted his ogling and friends pointed them to New Life.You’ll hear:How early experiences—like a nude portrait in his home, pin‑ups in the closet, and TV “heroes” who slept with every guest star—shaped Joe’s objectification, compulsive masturbation, serial monogamy, and infidelity.Why skipping Sustained Victory after his first EMB led to relapse four years later, and how weekly groups, check‑in calls, journaling, and understanding “eye wounds” now anchor his ongoing recovery and marriage.What Kyra told him about forgiveness vs. trust—and how her recorded prayer for EMB men today reflects God’s grace at work in both of their lives.🎟 Use code 𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐏𝐎𝐃 to save $100 when you register for the Every Man’s Battle Intensive, and ask about scholarships for both EMB and Sustained Victory so cost doesn’t keep you from the help you need.📧 𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐔𝐒 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐅𝐎R EMAIL 𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐒Want extra content to encourage your integrity, delivered via email each month?👉 Email [email protected] with “Bonus Content” in the subject line to receive exclusive Every Man’s Battle Podcast resources.​Have a question or topic suggestion?👉 Email [email protected] with “Podcast Question” in the subject line.☎️ Need prayer, a counselor, or more info on workshops and groups?👉 Call 800‑NEW‑LIFE or visit NewLife.com for counseling, groups, and faith‑based sexual integrity resources.🎟 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋 𝐎𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐑 – 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐍’𝐒 𝐁𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐒𝐔𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐃 𝐕𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘If Joe’s story sounds painfully familiar—early exposure, escalating behaviors, broken promises, and a “white‑knuckled” attempt to fix things alone—the Every Man’s Battle Intensive is where your turnaround can begin. This 3‑day, in‑person workshop provides a safe, shame‑free zone where licensed Christian counselors lead you and a small group of men through story work, biblical teaching, and practical tools for sexual integrity.After the weekend, Sustained Victory weekly groups offer the structured, ongoing support Joe wishes he’d embraced from day one—guided conversations, accountability, and brotherhood that help you maintain momentum long after the event ends.💵 Worried about cost? Joe mentions scholarships because New Life never wants money to be the reason you stay stuck. When you call 800‑NEW‑LIFE, ask about scholarship options for both Every Man’s Battle and Sustained Victory.Use code 𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐏𝐎𝐃 when you register to save $100 on the Every Man’s Battle workshop.🎧 Discover more ways to listen watch:👉 Every Man’s Battle Podcast hub: https://newlife.com/podcasts/every-mans-battle/👉 New Life LIVE other podcasts: https://newlife.com/podcasts/#EveryMansBattle #SexualIntegrity #JoeElliott #FacilitatorStories #PornAddiction #BrothersInTheBattle #SustainedVictory #EveryMansBattleWorkshop #NewLifeMinistries

These September messages are re-broadcasts from our most popular, relevant, and helpful messages that are worth listening to again to stay focused and strong over the changing seasons as you continue fighting Every Man’s Battle.📻 𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙈𝙖𝙣’𝙨 𝘽𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙋𝙤𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙨𝙩 – 𝐄𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐝𝐞 𝟏𝟐 Show NotesFrom Dallas during an Every Man’s Battle Intensive, licensed counselors JJ West and Doug Barnes continue their “Finding What Matters” series—shifting from what to look for in a woman to the deeper question, “What kind of man am I becoming?” They unpack why character, emotional health, and humility matter more than perfection or chemistry, and share candidly what they’d do differently if they could redo their dating years.You’ll learn:Why you must first let God define your identity instead of handing women your “report card” and asking them to tell you who you are.Key traits to look for in a woman: genuine faith, growing character, emotional honesty, and humility—not flawless performance or constant excitement.How mentoring, community feedback, and environments like the Every Man’s Battle Intensive can help both younger and older men walk in greater wisdom in dating and marriage.🎟 Use code 𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐏𝐎𝐃 to save $100 on the Every Man’s Battle Intensive, a 3‑day workshop where men address sexual integrity, grow in character, and learn to pursue relationships that truly reflect God’s design📧 𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐔𝐒 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐅𝐎R EMAIL 𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐒Want extra content to encourage your integrity, delivered via email each month?👉 Email [email protected] with “Bonus Content” in the subject line to receive exclusive Every Man’s Battle Podcast resources.​Have a question or topic suggestion?👉 Email [email protected] with “Podcast Question” in the subject line.​☎️ Need prayer, a counselor, or more info on workshops and groups?👉 Call 800‑NEW‑LIFE or visit NewLife.com for counseling, groups, and faith‑based sexual integrity resources.​🎟 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋 𝐎𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐑 – 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐍’𝐒 𝐁𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐕𝐄If this two‑part series exposed how much your approach to dating and relationships has been driven by feelings, fantasy, or insecurity, the Every Man’s Battle Intensive is a crucial next step. This 3‑day, in‑person workshop creates a no‑shame zone where men confront sexual sin, understand their patterns, and experience mentoring and brotherhood in small groups led by licensed Christian counselors.Use code 𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐏𝐎𝐃 when you register to save $100 on your tuition. If finances are tight, ask about scholarships and financial assistance when you call 800‑NEW‑LIFE—New Life does not want money to be the reason you stay stuck.🎧 Discover more ways to listen watch:👉 Every Man’s Battle Podcast hub:https://newlife.com/podcasts/every-mans-battle/👉 New Life LIVE other podcasts:https://newlife.com/podcasts/#EveryMansBattle #SexualIntegrity #DatingWisdom #Mentoring #ChristianMen #ChoosingASpouse #CharacterOverChemistry #Sanctification #EveryMansBattleWorkshop #NewLifeMinistries

These September messages are re-broadcasts from our most popular, relevant, and helpful messages that are worth listening to again to stay focused and strong over the changing seasons as you continue fighting Every Man’s Battle.📻 𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙈𝙖𝙣’𝙨 𝘽𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙋𝙤𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙨𝙩 – 𝐄𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐝𝐞 𝟏𝟏 Show NotesRecording on the road in Dallas before an Every Man’s Battle Intensive, licensed counselors JJ West and Doug Barnes explore something that shapes both sexual integrity and relationships: mentoring. This episode looks at why so many younger men lack mentors, how that leaves them confused about relationships and values, and why older men often underestimate how much they have to offer.Drawing from Scripture, personal stories, and hard‑earned lessons, JJ and Doug speak directly to two audiences at once: younger men who need guidance and older men who need to step into the calling of mentoring the next generation.You’ll learn:How Scripture frames mentoring (Jesus, Paul–Timothy, Titus) and why it’s essential for sexual integrity and relationships.Three myths that derail men in dating: “attraction = compatibility,” “love must always feel exciting,” and “it’s my job to fix her.”Practical steps for younger men to seek mentors, and for older men to offer their stories and wisdom, plus how environments like the Every Man’s Battle Intensive and Sustained Victory groups foster these relationships.🎟 Use code 𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐏𝐎𝐃 to save $100 on the Every Man’s Battle Intensive, a 3‑day workshop where men break shame, build brotherhood, and receive mentoring that shapes both sexual integrity and relationships📧 𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐔𝐒 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐅𝐎R EMAIL 𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐒Want extra content to encourage your integrity, delivered via email each month?👉 Email [email protected] with “Bonus Content” in the subject line to receive exclusive Every Man’s Battle Podcast resources.​Have a question or topic suggestion?👉 Email [email protected] with “Podcast Question” in the subject line.​☎️ Need prayer, a counselor, or more info on workshops and groups?👉 Call 800‑NEW‑LIFE or visit NewLife.com for counseling, groups, and faith‑based sexual integrity resources.​🎟 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋 𝐎𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐑 – 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐍’𝐒 𝐁𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐕𝐄If this episode surfaces how much you’ve been navigating sexual integrity and relationships alone, the Every Man’s Battle Intensive is a strategic next step. This 3‑day, in‑person workshop helps men bring hidden sexual struggles into the light, break shame, and experience mentoring and brotherhood in small groups led by licensed Christian counselors.Use code 𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐏𝐎𝐃 when you register to save $100 on your tuition. If finances are a barrier, ask about scholarships and financial assistance when you call 800‑NEW‑LIFE—New Life does not want money to be the reason you stay stuck.🎧 Discover more ways to listen watch:👉 Every Man’s Battle Podcast hub:https://newlife.com/podcasts/every-mans-battle/​👉 New Life LIVE other podcasts:https://newlife.com/podcasts/​#EveryMansBattle #SexualIntegrity #Mentoring #ChristianMen #DatingWisdom #ChoosingASpouse #Discipleship #Proverbs31 #EveryMansBattleWorkshop #NewLifeMinistries

These September messages are re-broadcasts from our most popular, relevant, and helpful messages that are worth listening to again to stay focused and strong over the changing seasons as you continue fighting Every Man’s Battle.Licensed counselors JJ West and Doug Barnes equip men for one of the most critical moments in recovery: answering a crisis call from a struggling brother. They show how to respond with a no‑shame posture, deep listening, and practical support instead of panic, lectures, or quick‑fix advice.​You’ll learn:Why your first words should be, “Thank you for calling—you are loved and still part of the herd.”​How to be curious, not judgmental, helping him unpack the small decisions and ignored feelings that led to acting out.​How to blend grace and truth, ask “What kind of man do you want to be?” and collaborate on simple next steps like daily check‑ins and specific prayer and accountability.​📧 𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐔𝐒 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐅𝐎R EMAIL 𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐒Want extra content to encourage your integrity, delivered via email each month?👉 Email [email protected] with “Bonus Content” in the subject line to receive exclusive Every Man’s Battle Podcast resources.​Have a question or topic suggestion?👉 Email [email protected] with “Podcast Question” in the subject line.​☎️ Need prayer, a counselor, or more info on workshops and groups?👉 Call 800‑NEW‑LIFE or visit NewLife.com for counseling, groups, and faith‑based sexual integrity resources.​

These Summer messages are re-broadcasts from our most popular, relevant, and helpful messages that are worth listening to again to stay focused and strong over the Summer as you continue fighting Every Man’s Battle.📻 𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙈𝙖𝙣’𝙨 𝘽𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙋𝙤𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙨𝙩 – 𝐄𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐝𝐞 𝟗 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬Licensed counselors JJ West and Doug Barnes get super practical in this episode, teaching men how to do 5‑minute check‑in calls that actually support sexual integrity instead of turning into 30‑minute gripe sessions or sports talk. They walk through a simple template—feelings, boundaries, triggers, helpful tools, upcoming risks, and a final honesty question—and demonstrate the difference between an unhelpful “check‑in” and a focused, effective one.​You’ll learn:Why brief, regular check‑ins make crisis calls far more likely when temptation hits.​Why you need a network of brothers (group, Sustained Victory, etc.), not just one accountability partner.​How to prep before a call so you can be honest, concise, and clear about your current integrity.​🎟 Use code 𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐏𝐎𝐃 to save on the Every Man’s Battle Intensive, a 3‑day, in‑person workshop for men seeking sexual integrity and brotherhood.​📧 𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐔𝐒 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐅𝐎R EMAIL 𝐒𝐔𝐁𝐒𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐒Want extracontent to encourage your integrity, delivered via email each month?👉 Email [email protected] with “Bonus Content” in the subject line to receive exclusive Every Man’s Battle Podcast resources.​❓ Submit a question or suggest a topic anytime:👉 Email [email protected] (put “Podcast Question” in the subject line).​☎️ Call 800‑NEW‑LIFE for prayer, resources, or to find a Christian counselor.​🎧 Discover more ways to listen watch:👉 Every Man’s Battle Podcast hub:https://newlife.com/podcasts/every-mans-battle/​👉 New Life LIVE other podcasts:https://newlife.com/podcasts/​#EveryMansBattle #SexualIntegrity #ChristianMen #FreedomFromPorn #RecoveryJourney #BiblicalManhood #BrothersInChrist #Accountability #CheckInCalls #BoundariesAndTriggers #ChristianCounseling #SustainedVictory

These Summer messages are re-broadcasts from our most popular, relevant, and helpful messages that are worth listening to again to stay focused and strong over the Summer as you continue fighting Every Man’s Battle.📻 𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙈𝙖𝙣'𝙨 𝘽𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙋𝙤𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙨𝙩 – 𝐄𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐝𝐞 𝟖 Show NotesLicensed counselors JJ West and Doug Barnes kick off a Season 3 mini‑series introducing Every Man's Battle facilitators by sitting down with Eric Thomas, LMFT. Eric shares his powerful story: early exposure to his father's porn stash, NFL dreams shattered by a shooting at 20, years of shame over his scarred body, transactional relationships, and deep isolation—until God met him in an RV in the Eastern Sierras and showed him he was becoming his father: a man who would die alone.​You'll hear:How trauma and resentment fueled years of acting out, self‑soothing with porn, and using women to avoid vulnerability.​The moment Eric realized he'd "booked his yearly vacation with his dog" because he refused to let a woman close enough to reject him.​How God's patient grace brought Eric from brokenness to becoming a facilitator who helps other men find freedom and wholeness.​🎟 Use code 𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐏𝐎𝐃 to save $100 on the Every Man's Battle Intensive—the 3‑day workshop where men like Eric lead you out of isolation and shame into brotherhood, healing, and lasting sexual integrity.📧 𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐔𝐒 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒Want extra tools and follow‑up content for Season 3?👉 [email protected] "Bonus Content" in the subject line to receive exclusive Every Man's Battle Podcast resources.​Have a question, topic suggestion, or your own story to share?👉 [email protected] "Podcast Question" in the subject line. JJ and Doug read and respond to listener emails, and your feedback shapes future episodes.​☎️ Need prayer, a counselor, or more info on workshops and groups?👉 Call 800‑NEW‑LIFE or visit NewLife.com for counseling, groups, and faith‑based sexual integrity resources.​🎟 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋 𝐎𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐑 – 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐍'𝐒 𝐁𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐕𝐄If Eric's story resonates—if you see your own trauma, resentment, isolation, or transactional relationships—the Every Man's Battle Intensive is where healing begins. This 3‑day, in‑person workshop, led by licensed Christian counselors like Eric, creates a no‑shame zone where men bring hidden struggles into the light, find brotherhood, and receive practical tools for lasting sexual integrity.​📅 Upcoming Dates:January 23–25, 2026: Orange County, CAApril 24–26, 2026: Washington, DC (Early Bird discount ends April 10)February 28, 2026: 1‑Day Online Intensive (Early Bird discount ends Feb 13)Use code 𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐏𝐎𝐃 when you register to save $100 on your tuition. If cost is a concern, ask about scholarships and financial assistance when you call 800‑NEW‑LIFE—New Life does not want money to be the reason you stay stuck.​🎧 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐔𝐄𝐃 𝐒𝐔𝐏𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐓: 𝐒𝐔𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐃 𝐕𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐏𝐒After the Every Man's Battle Intensive, ongoing Sustained Victory groups provide weekly virtual coaching, accountability, and deeper healing with other men on the same path. These small groups, led by trained counselors, reinforce biblical truth and help you maintain momentum so you don't go back to isolation, shame, or acting out.​🎧 Discover more ways to listen watch:👉 Every Man's Battle Podcast hub:https://newlife.com/podcasts/every-mans-battle/​👉 New Life LIVE other podcasts:https://newlife.com/podcasts/​#EveryMansBattle #SexualIntegrity #EricThomas #FacilitatorStories #ChristianMen #Trauma #Resentment #Grace #RecoveryJourney #NFLDreams #BrothersInChrist #EveryMansBattleWorkshop #NewLifeMinistries

These Summer messages are re-broadcasts from our most popular, relevant, and helpful messages that are worth listening to again to stay focused and strong over the Summer as you continue fighting Every Man’s Battle.📻 START YOUR WEEK WITH HOPE ON 𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙈𝙖𝙣’𝙨 𝘽𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙋𝙤𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙨𝙩Recording from the Intimacy in Marriage Workshop, licensed counselors JJ West and Doug Barnes continue their conversation on acting in, the quieter counterpart to acting out. In Part 2, they move from definition to application—exploring why acting in matters even if a man has stopped acting out, how it often grows out of childhood trauma responses, and what it looks like to move toward safe, honest, connected relationships instead of isolation and passivity.​In this episode, they:Review acting in as a survival response that pushes people away to avoid shame, fear, and perceived danger.Explain why stopping porn or affairs is not enough if a man keeps hiding emotionally.Offer practical steps for taking small relational risks, finding safe people, and building the kind of community that sustains long‑term sexual integrity.​☎️ 𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝐓𝐎𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐒 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐔𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍:“Why does it matter if I’m acting in if I’ve already stopped acting out?”JJ and Doug address the honest question many men have: “Isn’t it enough that I’m not looking at porn or going to massage parlors anymore?” They explain that authentic recovery has two parts—behavioral sobriety (not acting out) and relational/emotional recovery (learning to connect with God, self, and others). If a man stops acting out but keeps acting in through withdrawal, anger, passivity, or overwork, he remains disconnected and highly vulnerable to relapse or substitute addictions.​“How is acting in a trauma response?”They describe acting in as a protective survival strategy often formed early in life—sometimes in critical homes, sometimes through coaches, teachers, or circumstances that taught a child, “It’s safer to be small, silent, or invisible.” A situation that looks minor to an adult can feel massive to a 5‑ or 9‑year‑old, whose entire world is that classroom, family, or team. Over time, the child learns that staying hidden or compliant feels safer than being seen, challenged, or exposed, and carries this into adulthood as automatic acting‑in behavior.​“What happens internally when I stop acting out but keep acting in?”Doug notes that stopping acting out allows previously numbed emotions—shame, fear, inadequacy—to “bubble up,” raising a man’s internal emotional temperature. Without porn, affairs, or other escapes, he feels the discomfort more intensely, and his brain reflexively reaches for familiar acting‑in patterns like stonewalling, lying, blaming, isolating, or passivity to turn the heat down. If he doesn’t grow in emotional awareness and connection, acting in becomes the new way he medicates his pain until, eventually, sexual acting out often returns.​“What does acting in look like beyond obvious withdrawal?”Beyond classic hiding in the garage or working late, they highlight subtler forms of acting in:Passivity when there is relational risk (“If I don’t say anything, I can’t fail or disappoint”).Getting critical or picking fights to push a spouse away into a familiar script.Over‑serving at work or church to feel safe and in control while avoiding deeper conversations.These behaviors can look “responsible” or “spiritual” on the surface, but are often driven by fear of rejection or exposure underneath.​“How long does it usually take to move from reaction to response?”Drawing from their recovery work, JJ and Doug explain that early on a man only notices acting in after the fact (“I blew up” or “I disappeared again”). With consistent work in recovery groups, counseling, and community, he gradually begins noticing acting‑in impulses while they happen, and eventually learns to anticipate them before high‑risk situations. For many men who engage the process, this shift in awareness and choice typically happens over 12–18 months, with deeper growth continuing beyond that.​“How do I start feeling and naming what’s going on inside me?”They encourage starting small and concrete:Pick one familiar emotion (like anxiety) and practice noticing where it shows up in the body (tight chest, knot in the stomach, clenched fists, shallow breathing).Journal what was happening around you, what you felt, and how intense it was (e.g., “Anxiety 8/10 before a hard conversation; by the end it was 4/10”).Revisit the feelings list often (as used at Every Man’s Battle) and ask, “What do I feel? How strongly? What is it attached to?”This kind of emotional awareness is crucial for recognizing when acting‑in patterns are starting so a man can choose connection instead.​“How can I take relational risks when acting in has always kept me ‘safe’?”JJ and Doug stress that relationships are inherently risky but also where healing happens. They recommend:Starting with one trusted, safe person—not everyone—such as a recovery brother, group leader, or counselor.Taking baby steps of vulnerability instead of cannonballing into full disclosure; for example, sharing a small piece of what you’re feeling or reading a short journal entry.Using feedback to calibrate: “Did that feel like too much sharing? Was it helpful?”Healthy boundaries mean learning what to share, with whom, and when; connection does not mean telling everyone everything.​“What role does self‑compassion play in overcoming acting in?”They emphasize the importance of talking to yourself instead of just listening to shame, reminding your heart it is okay to be seen, heard, and imperfect. Over time, speaking truth and kindness to oneself helps heal younger “parts” that learned they had to be perfect or invisible to belong. This growing internal safety makes it easier to stay present with others, rather than retreating into acting‑in behaviors when conflict or criticism surfaces.​“How do I find the kind of community you’re describing?”JJ and Doug point to the broader New Life ecosystem as a practical on‑ramp. The Every Man’s Battle Intensive offers a structured, three‑day, shame‑free environment where men experience honest connection in small groups led by licensed counselors, and Sustained Victory groups provide weekly, guided follow‑up for ongoing support. For men who feel, “I don’t have anyone safe,” this pathway can become the first place where they are fully known, accepted, and called toward growth.​The episode closes with an invitation to live from courage rather than self‑protection—choosing vulnerability and brotherhood instead of hiding—so that acting in no longer sabotages sexual integrity and intimacy.​📧 𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐔𝐒 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒Want extra tools and follow‑up content for Season 3?👉 [email protected] “Bonus Content” in the subject line to receive exclusive Every Man’s Battle Podcast resources.​Have a question or topic suggestion?👉 [email protected] “Podcast Question” in the subject line.​☎️ Need prayer, a counselor, or more info on workshops and groups?👉 Call 800‑NEW‑LIFE or visit NewLife.com for counseling, groups, and faith‑based sexual integrity resources.​🎟 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋 𝐎𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐑 – 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐍’𝐒 𝐁𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐕𝐄If this episode highlights how much you live in acting in—even after getting sober from acting out—the Every Man’s Battle Intensive is a strategic next step. This 3‑day, Christ‑centered workshop helps men break the secrecy and shame around sexual sin, understand the roots of isolation and self‑protection, and experience brotherhood that models healthy, honest connection.​Use code 𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐏𝐎𝐃 when you register to save on your tuition. If cost is a concern, ask about scholarships and financial assistance when you call 800‑NEW‑LIFE, because New Life does not want money to be the reason you stay stuck.​🎧 Discover more ways to listen watch:👉 Every Man’s Battle Podcast hub:https://newlife.com/podcasts/every-mans-battle/​👉 New Life LIVE other podcasts:https://newlife.com/podcasts/​#EveryMansBattle #SexualIntegrity #ActingIn #ActingOut #ChristianMen #TraumaResponse #Isolation #Community #SustainedVictory #EveryMansBattleWorkshop #NewLifeMinistries

These Summer messages are re-broadcasts from our most popular, relevant, and helpful messages that are worth listening to again to stay focused and strong over the Summer as you continue fighting Every Man’s Battle.📻 𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙈𝙖𝙣’𝙨 𝘽𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙋𝙤𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙨𝙩 – 𝐄𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐝𝐞 𝟔 Show NotesLicensed counselors JJ West and Doug Barnes unpack acting in—the often‑ignored twin of acting out. Instead of running to porn or affairs, many men manage shame and fear by withdrawing, shutting down, stonewalling, or overworking to avoid real connection. This episode helps you recognize those patterns and see how acting in and acting out are two sides of the same coin.​You’ll learn:A clear definition of acting in and how it differs from (but is driven by the same pain as) acting out.​Common acting‑in behaviors: withdrawal, anger, criticism, overwork, and “respectable” isolation.​Why awareness and community are essential for moving from unconscious reactions to intentional, connected responses in your relationships.​🎟 Use code 𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐏𝐎𝐃 to save on the Every Man’s Battle Intensive, a 3‑day, in‑person workshop for men seeking freedom from sexual acting out and the isolation of acting in.📧 𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐔𝐒 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒Want extra tools and follow‑up content for Season 3?👉 [email protected] “Bonus Content” in the subject line to receive exclusive Every Man’s Battle Podcast resources.​Have a question or topic suggestion?👉 [email protected] “Podcast Question” in the subject line.​☎️ Need prayer, a counselor, or more info on workshops and groups?👉 Call 800‑NEW‑LIFE or visit NewLife.com for counseling, groups, and faith‑based sexual integrity resources.​🎟 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋 𝐎𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐑 – 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐍’𝐒 𝐁𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐕𝐄If you’re recognizing both acting out and acting in in your story, the Every Man’s Battle Intensive is a powerful next step. This 3‑day, in‑person workshop helps men confront sexual sin, understand the deeper roots of isolation and withdrawal, and build a band of brothers to walk with them in honest connection.​Use code 𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐏𝐎𝐃 when you register to save on your tuition. If cost is a concern, ask about scholarships and financial assistance when you call 800‑NEW‑LIFE, because New Life does not want money to be the reason you stay stuck.​🎧 Discover more ways to listen watch:👉 Every Man’s Battle Podcast hub:https://newlife.com/podcasts/every-mans-battle/​👉 New Life LIVE other podcasts:https://newlife.com/podcasts/​#EveryMansBattle #SexualIntegrity #ActingOut #ActingIn #ChristianMen #RecoveryJourney #EmotionalAwareness #Isolation #BrothersInChrist #EveryMansBattleWorkshop #NewLifeMinistries

These Summer messages are re-broadcasts from our most popular, relevant, and helpful messages that are worth listening to again to stay focused and strong over the Summer as you continue fighting Every Man’s Battle.📻 START YOUR WEEK WITH HOPE ON 𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙈𝙖𝙣’𝙨 𝘽𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙋𝙤𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙨𝙩Licensed counselors JJ West and Doug Barnes welcome back Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Marc Cameron, New Life LIVE panelist and author of Understanding Your Attachment Style, for part two of their deep dive on attachment styles and sexual propensities. In this episode, they unpack the Vacillator and Chaotic/Disorganized (Controller–Victim) patterns, then paint a hopeful picture of what it looks like to become a secure connector—even if you never had that growing up.​​If you haven’t heard Episode 4 yet (Avoider Pleaser), listen to that first and then jump into this continuation. Together, these episodes help men see why their sexual struggles are not random, but tied to how they learned to relate, attach, and cope long before pornography or affairs entered the picture.​​☎️ 𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝐓𝐎𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐒 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐔𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍:“What does the Vacillator look like sexually?”Marc explains that Vacillators (anxious, preoccupied / ambivalent) grew up with inconsistent connection—a parent who was sometimes very present and sometimes absent due to travel, divorce, deployment, or instability. They learn to idealize connection, then protest when they feel let down, creating a push‑pull dynamic of intense pursuit followed by angry withdrawal. Dating can feel intoxicating: rapid emotional bonding, oversharing, and early sexual involvement, but once real life surfaces and the idealized picture collapses, Vacillators can flip from “you’re my soulmate” to “I’m done” almost overnight, often mistaking dopamine‑driven intensity for true intimacy.​​​“Is the Vacillator more ‘love‑addicted’ than sex‑addicted?”JJ and Marc contrast the Avoider’s tendency toward sex addiction (using porn and sex as stress relief) with the Vacillator’s vulnerability to love addiction—chasing the high of romantic intensity and the fantasy of “the one.” Vacillators often believe there is a single perfect person who will finally meet their every need; when that illusion breaks, they detach and go looking for someone new who reignites the feeling.​​“How does this show up in marriage and affairs?”In marriage, Vacillators may start with high passion and frequent sex, especially as a way to feel reassured that the connection is real and not going away. When disappointment sets in, conflict escalates: the Vacillator protests with criticism and complaints, while an Avoider spouse often shuts down or withdraws, creating a classic Avoider–Vacillator cycle. Vacillator affairs tend to be framed as “I’ve fallen in love with someone else,” not just one‑night stands; they see the affair partner as a new ideal, while their spouse becomes the symbol of disappointment and lost connection.​​“What about the Chaotic/Disorganized style—Controller and Victim?”Marc describes Chaotic/Disorganized attachment as forming in homes marked by danger, abuse, addiction, and neglect, where the child’s primary task is survival. Over time, some become Controllers, having learned that in relationships “one person is in charge and the other is powerless,” while others become Victims, developing learned helplessness and trying to stay under the radar to minimize harm. In adulthood, Controllers and Victims often find each other and repeat the abuse cycle; touch has been paired with fear and adrenaline, so sex may become fused with pain, humiliation, and high‑risk behaviors rather than comfort and connection.​​“How do sexual dynamics work between Controllers and Victims?”For Controllers, sex is unilateral and utilitarian—it is something they demand when they want it, often as a way to discharge anger, exert power, or regulate their own nervous system. Victims may endure degrading or painful sexual acts primarily to stay safe and “keep the abuser calm,” seeing sex as damage control rather than mutual pleasure or intimacy. Marc notes that these patterns are tragically common yet often hidden, and that Controllers and Victims are among the least likely to seek help because of deep shame and an aversion to revisiting their traumatic story.​​“Are my parents just to blame for all this?”Marc is clear: attachment styles are explanations, not excuses. Parents themselves usually carried their own insecure attachment histories, and generational patterns can pass down even without malicious intent. Insecure attachment is not about assigning blame, but about understanding the strategies a child learned to survive—and then taking responsibility, as an adult, to recondition those patterns.​​“So what does a secure connector look like sexually and relationally?”Secure connectors grew up (more often than not) with caregivers who noticed feelings, named them, invited expression, and soothed distress, teaching the child that emotions are manageable and relationships can be safe. These adults can admit mistakes, ask for help, exercise impulse control, set and respect boundaries, and use words—not acting out—to express what’s going on inside. In sex and intimacy, secure connectors can make eye contact, care about their spouse’s experience, accept no, repair conflict, and see sex as the overflow of emotional connection, not just a release or a test of worth.​​​“Can I become secure if I never had that growing up?”Yes. Marc explains earned secure attachment: the process, supported by decades of attachment and neuroscience research, of re‑shaping your relational style in adulthood. The steps include:Recognizing your attachment pattern and how it keeps you stuck.Developing a coherent narrative—making sense of your childhood story instead of avoiding it.Leaning toward the “opposite” growth goals (for Avoiders, learning to feel; for Pleasers, boundaries and voice; for Vacillators, integration and staying; for Controllers/Victims, safety, humility, and help).Practicing new relational behaviors repeatedly, like reps in a gym, until your brain literally rewires.​​“How does all this connect to spiritual growth and sanctification?”Marc and JJ link attachment work to spiritual maturity, arguing that “you can’t be spiritually mature and emotionally insecure at the same time.” God is the ultimate secure connector, parenting his children with attunement, comfort, limits, and steadfast love; learning secure attachment is part of becoming more like Christ in how we relate. They encourage listeners to “pick their pain”—either the pain of staying stuck in old patterns, or the pain of growth that leads to freedom, intimacy, and lasting sexual integrity.​​📚 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐂 𝐂𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐎𝐍’𝐒 𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊 RELATED RESOURCES(Consider linking these in your show notes/store.)𝙐𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙔𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝘼𝙩𝙩𝙖𝙘𝙝𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙎𝙩𝙮𝙡𝙚 – Marc CameronA step‑by‑step guide to identifying your attachment style and “earning” secure attachment in your closest relationships; available through the New Life store and other major booksellers, including an audio version read by Marc.​​ ​​https://store.newlife.com/category/primaryfeature/understanding-your-attachment-style𝙃𝙤𝙬 𝙒𝙚 𝙇𝙤𝙫𝙚 – Milan Kay YerkovichThe foundational “love styles” and attachment resource that shaped New Life’s teaching and undergirds Marc’s work on individual healing.​​ store.newlife.com/purchase/how-we-love-expanded-editionSexual Integrity Resources – New LifeArticles, studies, and tools on breaking sexual strongholds, integrating attachment work, and building healthy intimacy.​ https://newlife.com/blog/category/sexual-integrity/🎟 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋 𝐎𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐑 – 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐍’𝐒 𝐁𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐕𝐄Ready to address the attachment roots of your porn use, affairs, or sexual acting out?Use code 𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐏𝐎𝐃 when you register for the Every Man’s Battle Intensive to save on your tuition. This 3‑day, in‑person workshop helps men confront sexual sin, understand deeper drivers like attachment and trauma, and step into Christ‑centered brotherhood and accountability.​​If finances are a barrier, scholarships and financial assistance may be available—call 800‑NEW‑LIFE to ask about options so cost doesn’t keep you from the help you need.​​📧 𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐔𝐒 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒Want extra tools and follow‑up content for Season 3?👉 [email protected] “Bonus Content” in the subject line to receive exclusive Every Man’s Battle Podcast resources.​​Have a question or topic suggestion?👉 [email protected] “Podcast Question” in the subject line.​​☎️ Need prayer, a counselor, or more info on workshops and groups?👉 Call 800‑NEW‑LIFE or visit NewLife.com.​​🎧 Discover more ways to listen watch:👉 Every Man’s Battle Podcast hub:https://newlife.com/podcasts/every-mans-battle/​👉 New Life LIVE other podcasts:https://newlife.com/pod

These Summer messages are re-broadcasts from our most popular, relevant, and helpful messages that are worth listening to again to stay focused and strong over the Summer as you continue fighting Every Man’s Battle.📻 START YOUR WEEK WITH HOPE ON 𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙈𝙖𝙣’𝙨 𝘽𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙋𝙤𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙨𝙩Licensed counselors JJ West and Doug Barnes welcome back Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Marc Cameron, New Life LIVE co‑host and author of Understanding Your Attachment Style, for a powerful episode on how attachment styles shape sexual behavior and acting out.​In this first of a two‑part conversation, they focus on the Avoider and Pleaser (anxious) attachment styles and how these patterns—formed in your family of origin—often drive pornography use, affairs, sexual shutdown, and “people‑pleasing in the bedroom.”​In this episode, they:Introduce Marc’s new book Understanding Your Attachment Style and how it equips individuals (not just couples) to “earn” a secure attachment in all relationships.​Unpack how Avoiders often use sex or pornography as a non‑relational stress reliever and why their sex life frequently feels disconnected from emotion.​Describe how Pleasers (anxious attachment) can lose their voice, over‑accommodate, and even agree to unwanted sexual acts just to keep the peace.​☎️ 𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐃𝐄 𝐓𝐎𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐒 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐔𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍:“Where did my attachment style come from?”Marc explains that attachment is programming, not personality, formed in the home you grew up in—especially how your caregivers handled emotions, touch, and distress. Avoiders usually come from low‑affection, low‑emotion homes where feelings were minimized or dismissed; Pleasers grow up managing a parent’s mood (anger, anxiety, depression) by being the “good kid.”​“How does the Avoider attachment style play out sexually?”Avoidant men often see sex as a non‑relational “event” rather than emotional connection, with little eye contact, comfort, or nurturing before or after sex. They are especially vulnerable to pornography, because porn offers intense bodily sensation, no emotional risk, no relational maintenance, and a script of hyper‑available, aggressive partners that distorts expectations for marriage.​“What about avoidant women?”Avoidant women frequently dislike or even despise sex, experiencing it as something unnecessary or aversive rather than a place of connection. Some may offer sex only to “get it over with,” or even quietly tolerate their husband’s pornography use because it means less pressure on them—while still carrying buried resentment and unmet longing for true emotional connection.​“Why did porn and masturbation feel like such a perfect escape?”JJ shares how growing up in an emotionally shut‑down, low‑affection home set him up to use pornography and masturbation as a stress reliever and escape from reality. Instead of risking rejection or learning to name feelings, sex became an internal coping mechanism that seemed to “fix” stress without requiring real relational risk.​“How does the Pleaser (anxious) attachment style act out sexually?”Pleasers are wired to calm other people down; they’ve been managing a parent’s mood their whole life, and now they try to manage a spouse’s anger or anxiety through compliance. Pleaser wives may say yes to sexual acts they don’t want, just to avoid conflict, and pleaser husbands may pursue sex for reassurance (“If you’ll have sex with me, we must be okay”).​“What happens when a Pleaser finally hits a breaking point?”Because Pleasers chronically ignore their own needs and voice, they often hit midlife with deep internal resentment and burnout. At that point, sex may be shut off completely—not because they “hate sex,” but because they no longer enjoy it in that relationship—making them especially vulnerable to emotional or sexual affairs where they finally feel seen, safe, and valued.​“Can an Avoider or Pleaser ever become secure?”The good news: attachment styles are how you are, not who you are. Marc describes how research shows adults can earn secure attachment through intentional work—learning to name feelings, develop empathy (“I know what it feels like for me, so I can enter you”), set boundaries, and practice new relational patterns over time. His book lays out concrete steps for that process from a Christian worldview.​📚 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐂 𝐂𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐎𝐍’𝐒 𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊 RELATED RESOURCES(Consider linking these in your show notes/store.)𝙐𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙔𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝘼𝙩𝙩𝙖𝙘𝙝𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙎𝙩𝙮𝙡𝙚 – Marc CameronA practical guide to identifying your attachment style and learning how to “earn” secure attachment in your closest relationships.​𝙃𝙤𝙬 𝙒𝙚 𝙇𝙤𝙫𝙚 – Milan Kay YerkovichThe foundational attachment and “love styles” book (Avoider, Pleaser, Vacillator, Controller, Victim, Secure Connector) that shaped much of New Life’s teaching and inspired Marc’s follow‑up for individuals.​Sexual Integrity Resources – New LifeArticles, devotionals, and tools on breaking sexual strongholds, understanding root issues, and rebuilding intimacy.​🎟 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋 𝐎𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐑 – 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐍’𝐒 𝐁𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐕𝐄Ready to address your attachment wounds and sexual integrity struggles in a shame‑free, Christ‑centered environment?Use code 𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐏𝐎𝐃 when you register for the Every Man’s Battle Intensive to save on your tuition. This 3‑day workshop helps men break free from pornography, affairs, and sexual acting out, while also exploring deeper drivers like attachment, trauma, and family of origin.​If finances are a barrier, scholarships and financial assistance may be available—call 800‑NEW‑LIFE to ask about options.​📧 𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐔𝐒 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒Want extra tools and follow‑up content for Season 3?👉 [email protected] “Bonus Content” in the subject line to receive exclusive Every Man’s Battle Podcast resources.​Have a question or topic suggestion?👉 [email protected] “Podcast Question” in the subject line.​☎️ Need prayer, a counselor, or more info about workshops and groups?👉 Call 800‑NEW‑LIFE or visit NewLife.com.​🎧 Discover more ways to listen watch:👉 Every Man’s Battle Podcast hub:https://newlife.com/podcasts/every-mans-battle/​👉 New Life LIVE other podcasts:https://newlife.com/podcasts/​#EveryMansBattle #SexualIntegrity #AttachmentStyles #Avoider #Pleaser #HowWeLove #UnderstandingYourAttachmentStyle #ChristianMen #FreedomFromPorn #RecoveryJourney #BiblicalManhood #BrothersInChrist #ChristianCounseling

These Summer messages are re-broadcasts from our most popular, relevant, and helpful messages that are worth listening to again to stay focused and strong over the Summer as you continue fighting Every Man’s Battle.START YOUR WEEK WITH HOPE ON 𝙀𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙈𝙖𝙣’𝙨 𝘽𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙋𝙤𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙨𝙩Licensed counselors JJ West and Doug Barnes continue their deep dive into the role of empathy in sexual integrity recovery. Building on last week’s episode, they explore how empathy creates safe spaces, how to practice self‑empathy, and how to sit with a betrayed spouse in her pain without becoming defensive or shutting down.​In this honest conversation, they move from theory to practice—showing how men can learn to feel with others instead of just trying to fix them or escape the discomfort.Why Safe Spaces Matter in RecoveryJJ and Doug explain that empathy is not an outcome but a process—a way of relating heart‑to‑heart that makes recovery groups, counseling, and marriages safer for honesty.​They describe how a man’s history with emotions (rage-filled homes, emotionally numb homes, or shame-based church experiences) shapes his reactions to intense feelings today: shutting down, running away, judging, or shaming.Key idea: Empathy allows men to move from “fix it or flee” to staying present—even when emotions are big and messy.Is Empathy Just Enabling Bad Behavior?Doug tackles a common fear: “If I’m empathetic, am I just giving someone a pass?” He clarifies that behavior and empathy are different categories.​Behavior can be sinful and destructive (porn, affairs, acting out).Empathy is about joining someone in their emotional reality, not excusing their choices.Using the “hole and ladder” picture, they contrast:Sympathy: standing at the top of a 20‑foot hole, saying, “Man, that looks rough. Sorry,” and walking away.Empathy: bringing a ladder, climbing down, sitting knee‑to‑knee, and saying, “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll feel this with you until we climb out together.”Takeaway: Empathy connects to the heart; firm boundaries still address the behavior. Both are needed for real recovery.Learning Self‑Empathy: Seeing Yourself Through God’s EyesJJ and Doug then unpack why the hardest person to empathize with is often yourself—and why that’s dangerous for recovery. Sexual addiction feeds on self‑hatred, guilt, and shame; without self‑empathy, those conditions stay fertile.​They offer practical ways to develop self‑empathy:Meditate on Scripture, not just read itRomans 8:1 – “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”Rather than treating verses like a checklist, they encourage creating a “top 10” list of compassion‑centered scriptures and marinating in them until they sink into the heart.Write your own “Psalm of Compassion”Compile verses that speak to God’s tenderness and forgiveness.Read it when you feel shame, defeat, or the urge to act out, reminding yourself who you are in Christ.Journal your shame and temptations honestlyCapture the lies you’re tempted to believe (“I’m hopeless,” “I’ll always fail”).Counter them with truth from Scripture and from conversations with safe people.Let others speak truth into your shameIn groups, counseling, or trusted friendships, talk openly about self‑hatred and guilt so others can remind you of God’s compassion and your true identity.​Big picture: As men receive empathy from God and others, they become more capable of treating themselves with kindness rather than contempt—undermining the shame cycle that fuels acting out.Empathy Toward a Betrayed SpouseMost listeners have not only sinned sexually; they’ve also deeply wounded someone they love. JJ and Doug spend significant time on why empathy for a betrayed spouse is central—not optional—to sexual integrity recovery.​Why her pain matters for your recovery:Empathy helps a husband validate his wife’s experience: “I see you, I hear you, I recognize the danger and betrayal my choices created for you.”Instead of viewing her triggers and questions as “attacks,” empathy allows him to see them as expressions of real trauma and grief.How to practice this in real life:Name what she is feeling: “I hear how unseen, unsafe, and unprotected you feel because of my choices.”Stay grounded, not defensive:Keep the “connection brain” on instead of flipping into fight/flight/freeze.Remind yourself: God is my shield and defender; I don’t have to self‑protect right now. I can stay present in her pain.​Use “words, eyes, touch” wisely (a phrase they borrow from colleague Laura McDonald):Words: gentle, validating statements that focus on her experience, not your defense.Eyes: soft eye contact that communicates, “I’m here and I’m listening.”Touch: only when appropriate and welcomed, as a connection—not control—gesture.Drop “at me” from your internal script:Instead of “She’s mad at me,” reframe to “She’s in pain.”This shift keeps you from personalizing her emotions and helps you stay with her rather than retreat.Result: Over time, empathy helps rebuild trust—not by erasing consequences, but by consistently joining her in her pain while living out changed behaviors.Practice, Don’t Just “Know” ItJJ closes by challenging listeners not to treat this as interesting information but as a skill to practice:Look for real-life opportunities (in group, with a spouse, with friends) to try empathy—even if it feels clumsy at first.Expect to “miss it” sometimes, and then:Journal what happened.Ask, “Where did I get defensive, shut down, or try to fix instead of feel with?”Adjust and try again next time.Doug compares it to learning a curve ball: understanding the mechanics is helpful, but growth happens through repeated attempts, grace for missteps, and ongoing feedback.Featured Resources Next Steps1. Every Man’s Battle IntensiveA 3‑day, Christ‑centered workshop to:Bring sexual struggles into the lightLearn practical tools for integrity and emotional connectionPractice empathy with trained counselors and a brotherhood that “gets it”​👉 Learn more register:https://newlife.com/workshops/every-mans-battle/​Use promo code 𝐄𝐌𝐁𝐏𝐎𝐃 if you’re a first‑time attendee to receive a discount on your registration.​2. Ongoing Groups ResourcesEvery Man’s Battle Groups Sustained Victory – Weekly groups that help men keep practicing empathy, honesty, and accountability after the workshop.​Sexual Integrity Resources – Articles, tools, and next steps to keep growing in sexual integrity and emotional maturity.​👉 Explore sexual integrity resources:https://newlife.com/blog/category/sexual-integrity/​Bonus Content Ways to Connect📧 Exclusive EMB Bonus ContentGet exercises, questions, and follow-up material for this empathy [email protected] “Bonus Content” in the subject line.​❓ Share a Question or [email protected] with your questions, topic ideas, or feedback.☎️ Need Help Now?Call 800-NEW-LIFE for prayer, counseling referrals, or more information about workshops and groups.​🎧 Listen SubscribeEvery Man’s Battle Podcast hub:https://newlife.com/podcasts/every-mans-battle/All New Life podcasts:https://newlife.com/podcasts/#EveryMansBattle #SexualIntegrity #Empathy #BetrayalTrauma #ChristianMen #RecoveryJourney #MarriageHealing #NoCondemnation #WalkInIntegrity