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What does helpful therapy look like when the goal is not simply more eye contact, fewer autistic traits, or appearing more comfortable than you actually feel? In this episode of Adulting with Autism, I talk with autistic psychotherapist and author Sean Inderbitzen about feeling stuck, rumination, body awareness, connection, and the importance of having a real voice in your own care. Sean introduces the approach he calls applied neural exercises: practices that invite curiosity and nonjudgmental attention to bodily experience. We discuss his use of polyvagal theory as a therapeutic framework, while exploring a broader question: what does this particular person want help with, and how will we know whether the support is working? We also talk about masking in context, sensory environments, basic needs, and why an approach that helps one person may not fit another. During the conversation, I demonstrate the movement I use while interviewing—and we notice what happens when I pay attention to how it feels. One of the most useful questions from the episode is one you can bring to a prospective therapist: "How do you respond when a client tells you that you're wrong?" Because support should include room to disagree, correct a misunderstanding, change direction, and say when something is not helping. Content note: This conversation includes grief, trauma, and brief discussion of suicidal thoughts and a potentially distressing clinical example. In This Episode, We Cover p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Sean's experience as an autistic psychotherapist and author. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why he wishes autism had been discussed more openly earlier in his life. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The personal vulnerability involved in writing about his own experience. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> What he means by "neural exercises." p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Flexibility and connection as individualized goals—not universal demands. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Looking at wellbeing across a person's relationship with themselves, close relationships, wider social life, and life overall. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why the context of masking matters to the person making that choice. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Sean's explanation of polyvagal theory and how he applies it in therapy. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Exploring both internal distress and external conditions rather than assuming one explanation. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Food, sleep, shelter, sensory needs, and readiness for therapeutic work. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Approaching body awareness gradually when it feels difficult or overwhelming. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Stimming and movement as possible resources for noticing comfort, relaxation, or joy. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> April's standing-and-swiveling interview setup. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Discussing rumination as an experience someone wants help with—not simply as a diagnostic label. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Feedback-informed treatment and asking whether sessions address the client's priorities. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> What happens when a therapist's interpretation misses the mark. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Apologizing, repairing misunderstandings, and adjusting the work. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Questions to ask a prospective therapist about disagreement and feedback. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Supporting someone's regulation without trying to manage every aspect of their experience. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Using workbook exercises selectively while recognizing the role of their wider context. About the Guest Sean Inderbitzen is an autistic psychotherapist and author who writes for W. W. Norton about autism and applications of polyvagal theory. In this interview, he discusses Neural Exercises for Autism, his earlier work, and how personal experience has informed his approach to therapy. His discussion emphasizes curiosity, the therapeutic relationship, client feedback, and exploring what supports a person's wellbeing in their own circumstances. He describes applied neural exercises as tools for bringing mindful attention to bodily experience and exploring flexibility and connection. Sean directs listeners to his books through major retailers and to Instagram and LinkedIn to follow his work or ask questions. Search his name as Sean Inderbitzen; confirm exact profile links before adding them to the published show notes. Key Takeaways p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Progress should relate to the person's own goals—not automatically to appearing less autistic. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> A supportive therapeutic relationship leaves room for correction and disagreement. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Body-awareness practices should be approached with attention to comfort, choice, and pacing. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Movement someone already enjoys can be a starting point for noticing what feels helpful. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Sensory conditions and basic needs belong in conversations about distress. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> A therapist's personal experience is not a substitute for understanding the client's experience. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Repair includes acknowledging when an interpretation was invalidating and changing course. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Tools are possibilities to explore—not promises that every person will respond the same wa

I thought I would spend my career treating patients, become a director of rehab, and eventually retire. Apparently, life had other plans. In this solo episode of Adulting with Autism, I'm sharing what I have learned about becoming an entrepreneur while working full-time as an occupational therapist—and why you do not need a business degree or a perfect plan before you explore an idea. I started this podcast because I was frustrated by the lack of resources for my autistic son as he entered adulthood. I knew the problem I wanted to address. Running a podcast as a business? That part I had to learn. We're talking about doing too much, trying to be on every platform, buying equipment before you need it, comparing yourself to established creators, setting interview boundaries, and figuring out which services are actually worth paying for. I also share how I use ChatGPT—yes, her name is Shonda—to organize ideas and support my workflow, along with the deeply unfortunate moment I copied our entire conversation into a professional email. Including the profanity. This is not a blueprint for overnight success. It is an honest look at starting small, making mistakes, protecting your capacity, asking questions, and building systems that help you function instead of just making you look productive. In This Episode, We Cover p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why my original career plan did not include becoming a podcast entrepreneur. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Starting Adulting with Autism to address a need I experienced as a parent. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Learning business skills after launching rather than waiting to know everything. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why publishing a podcast and helping people discover it are different jobs. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Building an episode catalog and improving through practice. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Figuring out where your audience spends time. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Trying Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, blogs—and handmade T-shirts—while working full-time. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How doing too much can turn meaningful work into another obligation. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Starting with available equipment and upgrading within your budget. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Comparing your early-stage project with someone else's established platform. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Rejection, guest outreach, connections, and opportunities that take time. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How I use AI for guest research, interview preparation, organization, and brainstorming. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why AI output still needs review and verification. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The copy-and-paste email mistake I will never forget. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Interview limits, weekend boundaries, and protecting my social battery. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Recognizing that loving the work does not make it cost-free. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Changing systems when they stop working. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Learning about business expenses, cash flow, taxes, contracts, and paid support. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Asking questions and choosing learning methods you can actually use. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Giving yourself permission to build something imperfect. About the Host April Ratchford, MS, OT/L, is an autistic occupational therapist, parent of an autistic young adult, and host of Adulting with Autism. She launched the podcast on January 1, 2024, after struggling to find relevant resources for her son's transition into adulthood. Through interviews and solo episodes, April shares conversations about work, healthcare, relationships, executive function, self-advocacy, community, and everyday adult life. In this episode, she discusses the business side of that work: building an audience, managing a growing workload, using tools, making financial decisions, and developing more sustainable boundaries while continuing in direct patient care. Connect: p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Website: adultingwithautism.com p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Email: [email protected] p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Social links and direct messages: available through the website. Key Takeaways p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> You can begin exploring a business idea without knowing every part of business management. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Knowing who you want to serve gives you a useful starting point. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> A limited budget is a reason to make deliberate choices—not to buy a professional-looking setup before testing the idea. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Being everywhere can become more work than your capacity allows. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> AI can support a workflow, but reviewing its output remains your responsibility. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Business income and money available for personal spending are not the same thing. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Enjoying your work does not eliminate your need for rest. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Systems can change as your responsibilities, capacity, and business change. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Mistakes can become lessons without becoming a permanent judgment about your ability. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Starting small and asking questions count as doing the work.

Autistic children become autistic adults. But who explains friendship, attraction, changing relationships, consent, sensory preferences, and boundaries when so much support still focuses on childhood? In this episode of Adulting with Autism, I talk with Trishta Villalta, a Board Certified Behavior Analyst and creator of Capable Hearts, a friendship and dating platform for adults with optional coaching support. The platform describes its mission as helping adults connect while maintaining choice over who they speak with and what they share. Trishta shares how supporting a client from childhood into adulthood revealed gaps in relationship education. We discuss direct ways to express interest, ask whether someone wants to meet again, communicate touch preferences, and clarify misunderstandings without assuming every interaction should follow a neurotypical script. We also explore ongoing consent, pressure versus disappointment, protecting alone time, and what it means for adult coaching to follow the person's own goals—including their right to change direction or stop. This episode is for autistic adults seeking friendship or dating, partners, families, and professionals who want relationship support to respect autonomy rather than reward compliance. In This Episode, We Cover p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why Trishta chose to develop support for adults alongside her work with children. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The problem with viewing autistic people as "forever children." p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Relationship questions that can remain unanswered when adults assume someone already understands. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why withholding information about sexual health and boundaries is not the same as protecting someone. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Adult-directed coaching: working on the goals a person chooses. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The difference between communication support and pressure to perform a different social identity. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Asking directly whether someone wants to keep talking or meet again. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Expressing romantic interest without relying only on hints. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Clarifying meaning and apologizing after an unintended hurtful comment. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Navigating uncertainty without repeatedly seeking reassurance. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Choosing meeting locations around both people's sensory preferences. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Discussing touch, textures, sounds, and personal space. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Consent as an ongoing conversation—not permanent permission. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Recognizing discomfort and pausing when someone appears unsure. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Pressure, guilt, fear of losing a relationship, and the right to refuse. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Capable Hearts' friendship/dating features and separate coaching options. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Trishta's description of reporting and blocking within the app. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Respecting an adult's right to decline coaching or change their goals. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Communicating a need for alone time and recovery after work or school. About the Guest Trishta Villalta is a Board Certified Behavior Analyst who says she has held the credential since approximately 2018. In this interview, she describes how her experience supporting clients into adulthood led her to create Capable Hearts. Capable Hearts is an adults-only friendship and dating platform with optional BCBA coaching. Its website describes features including profiles, accessibility preferences, reporting, privacy controls, and opportunities to develop social connections. Trishta's stated approach to adult coaching centers on what the individual wants to work on, rather than having the professional choose goals on their behalf. Find the platform and contact information at capablehearts.com. Contact email listed on the website: [email protected]. Key Takeaways p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Autistic adults deserve clear, respectful relationship education—not assumptions that they are uninterested or already know everything. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Direct questions can make intentions clearer, although another person may still respond ambiguously. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Friendship, dating, physical affection, and coaching are separate choices. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Someone can enjoy your company without wanting touch, romance, or sexual contact. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> A boundary does not need an elaborate explanation to deserve respect. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Consent can change. Silence, freezing, or uncertainty should not be treated as permission. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Another person's disappointment does not create an obligation to agree. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Adult support should leave room for refusal, revised goals, and stopping. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Needing quiet or time alone is compatible with wanting connection.

What if healthy living did not require following the latest trend, tolerating someone else's workout music, or pretending every day comes with the same amount of energy? In this episode of Adulting with Autism, I talk with Jimmy Clare, an autistic keynote speaker, autism advocate, podcaster, livestream host, and founder of CrazyFitnessGuy. He created the platform to share healthy living through autistic eyes, with an emphasis on practical support rather than pressure or perfection.:not([hidden])~:not([hidden]))]:border-soft bg-soft">crazyfitnessguy+1 Jimmy shares how exercise became part of his response to years of bullying, why sensory details matter in movement, and how he uses reminders, distraction blockers, and his most productive hours to structure his work. He also gets honest about what he has not figured out yet: adapting to pain, changing capacity, medication side effects, and difficult days. We discuss reducing expectations when you are unwell, finding enjoyable activities, communicating concerns to healthcare professionals, and stepping away from comparison. Jimmy speaks from lived experience—not as a certified fitness professional. This episode explores his personal approach to wellness, not an exercise prescription or individualized medical advice. In This Episode, We Cover p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Jimmy's work as a speaker, advocate, podcast host, and founder of CrazyFitnessGuy. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How years of bullying shaped his relationship with exercise, stress, and belonging. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> What "healthy living your way" means to him. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why one exercise modification may not meet everyone's needs. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> His approach to trying products before endorsing them. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> To-do apps, persistent reminders, and reducing reliance on other people's prompts. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Blocking distracting websites during his most productive hours. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Designing a workspace around attention rather than other people's preferences. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why Jimmy prefers control over workout music and volume. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Adapting routines while dealing with a protruding disc and fluctuating wellbeing. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> His prediction about AI and personalized fitness—and the distinction between speculation and current professional guidance. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why he separates lived-experience advice from fitness qualifications. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Recording symptoms and communicating with clinicians through patient portals. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Convenience, food planning, and the tools he personally uses. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Reducing a difficult day to one manageable priority. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why rest does not need to be earned through constant productivity. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Learning from podcast guests without assuming every suggestion applies to him. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Starting with activities you enjoy. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Replacing business comparison with attention to his own progress. About the Guest Jimmy Clare is an autistic professional keynote speaker, autism advocate, podcaster, and livestream host. He founded CrazyFitnessGuy in 2017 to share healthy living through autistic eyes and encourage sustainable habits rooted in lived experience. Through his platform and The CrazyFitnessGuy Show, he explores autism, sensory needs, routines, mental health, burnout, and everyday wellbeing. His speaking work addresses inclusion, resilience, and realistic self-care.:not([hidden])~:not([hidden]))]:border-soft bg-soft">jimmyclarespeaks+1 In this interview, Jimmy explicitly states that he is not a certified fitness professional or personal trainer. His contribution is his own experience of finding tools and approaches that work for him. Resources: p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> CrazyFitnessGuy: podcast and wellness resources.crazyfitnessguy p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Jimmy Clare's speaking services.jimmyclarespeaks Key Takeaways p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> A wellness routine can account for sensory preferences, access, enjoyment, and changing capacity. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> A tool that helps one person is an option to explore—not a rule for everyone. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Jimmy's routine includes reducing distractions and matching demanding work to his better-focus hours. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> He does not present himself as having every difficult day figured out. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Rest can be part of looking after yourself rather than a prize awarded after completing a task list. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Sharing lived experience and providing professional exercise or medical guidance are different roles. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Comparison can become another demand that takes attention away from your own needs and progress.

Hey squad—it's Throwback Tuesday. Monday came, I was exhausted, and I decided not to force an episode when my brain had already clocked out. Instead, we're revisiting a conversation many of you will appreciate after Professor Sol Smith's recent return to the podcast: his very first interview on Adulting with Autism. In this original conversation, Sol discusses his journey to an autism diagnosis, his experience as a college professor, and the thinking behind The Autistic's Guide to Self-Discovery. We explore masking, rumination, burnout, individualized support, community, and the question so many late-identified autistic adults face: "Now that I understand this about myself, what happens next?"paste.txt We also talk about supporting strengths instead of spending every moment correcting weaknesses, how parents can move from guilt toward repair, and why special interests can open unexpected doors to confidence and connection. Sol shares a memorable story about his child discovering speedcubing—and how that interest became a pathway into a supportive community.paste.txt If you enjoyed his recent episode about ADHD self-discovery, this is your chance to hear where our conversation began. Grab your drink of choice—absolutely no judgment—and welcome back Professor Sol. Archive note: This is a replay of an earlier interview. References to ages, book-release timing, community offerings, and personal circumstances reflect when the original conversation was recorded. In This Episode p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why a clearly defined teaching role felt more comfortable for Sol than unstructured social interaction. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> His path to an autism assessment and the assumptions he had about what an autistic adult could look like. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why "we're all a little autistic" can miss the meaning of the autism spectrum. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How rumination can feel like solving a problem while repeatedly returning to a painful experience. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Sol's discussion of immediate coping tools and longer-term support. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why he wanted to create a self-discovery roadmap for late-identified autistic adults. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The gap between receiving a diagnosis and finding useful adult support. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why individualized support matters when strengths and difficulties are uneven. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Coaching that responds to the person rather than following a fixed weekly formula. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Seeking help with draining tasks while making more room for strengths. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The importance of cultural fit, access, and recognizing that one coach will not suit everyone. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Community as a place to explore identity, unmasking, and belonging. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why autism education should involve people around autistic adults—not only autistic adults themselves. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Moving beyond parental guilt toward accountability and changed support. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Sol's family story about speedcubing, friendship, confidence, and special interests.paste.txt About Professor Sol Sol Smith is an autistic and ADHD coach, author, and educator. In this first interview, he shares his experience as a longtime college professor, his late autism diagnosis, and his work creating resources for autistic self-understanding. His book, The Autistic's Guide to Self-Discovery, is the focus of this archive conversation. He also discusses individualized coaching and the Neurospicy Community, which he developed as a more accessible way for people to find support and connection. You can direct listeners to the resource links included with his recent return episode for updated information about his books, coaching, and community. Key Takeaways p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> A clear role can make one kind of social interaction feel very different from another. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> A diagnosis can provide context without automatically supplying the support someone needs next. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Repeatedly revisiting a painful event is not always the same as making progress on it. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Support should respond to a person's actual strengths, needs, circumstances, and preferences. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Needing help with one area of life does not erase competence in another. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Parents can acknowledge what they did not understand and change how they support their child now. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Special interests can be meaningful routes into connection—not simply distractions to remove. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Self-discovery does not have to happen alone.

The promotions were there. The pay was good. The team was successful. So why didn't it feel like success? In this episode of Adulting with Autism, I talk with executive coach and author Chad Betz about the moment he sat in a parking garage after work and realized that the life he had built no longer matched what success meant to him. We explore the difference between pursuing something you genuinely want and following expectations inherited from family, coworkers, social media, or an earlier version of yourself. Chad shares how informational interviews, small experiments, trusted support, and reflection can help you explore a new direction without immediately quitting your job or taking on another degree. For autistic, ADHD, and other neurodivergent adults reassessing life after late identification, this conversation makes room for an important possibility: learning more about yourself can change your goals—and changing direction does not erase everything you have already accomplished. We also discuss Chad's 20-goal exercise, his use of the OODA loop—Observe, Orient, Decide, Act—and why coaching should help you identify your own direction rather than hand you another person's definition of success. In This Episode, We Cover p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Chad's parking-garage realization: professional achievement did not automatically create personal fulfillment. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The shift from reacting to circumstances toward identifying choices within his control. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why success does not have to happen by a particular age. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How experience can provide useful skills while also making it harder to change direction. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Exploring whether difficult work still connects with your sense of purpose. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why leaving a field does not mean your education and experience were wasted. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> A criminal-justice graduate's exploration of banking, legal support, and alternative career paths. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Informational interviews: learning what a role actually involves before committing. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Coaches, mentors, and trusted advisers as outside perspectives. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Testing an idea through a hobby, volunteer opportunity, or side project. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Fear of uncertainty versus the feeling that leaving means losing your past investment. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Building confidence through manageable action and learning. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Coaching that draws out your goals instead of imposing new ones. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The 20-goal exercise: identifying recurring interests and priorities. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Reassessing work after learning something significant about yourself. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Distinguishing genuine ambition from pressure to prove yourself. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why protection and support are not always the same thing. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Accountability, habits, and giving yourself room for difficult days. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Using Observe, Orient, Decide, Act to revisit your direction. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Questions to ask before accepting a promotion or new responsibility. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Allowing your definition of success to evolve. About the Guest Chad Betz is an executive coach and author who helps people explore success that is personally meaningful to them. He works with individuals who feel stuck, uncertain about their next step, or disconnected from a career that may appear successful from the outside. In this episode, Chad shares how his own professional dissatisfaction led him to reconsider his values, goals, and relationship with work. His approach emphasizes reflection, practical exploration, informational interviews, and small steps toward change. Find Chad's coaching information, books, social links, and free content through the website he names in the interview: An Authentic Success. Publishing note: The spoken website address sounds like "an authentic success dot com." Confirm the exact URL with Chad before adding a clickable link. The transcript also does not identify a specific book title. Key Takeaways p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> External achievement and personal fulfillment are not necessarily the same thing. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Your education and experience remain part of your skill set even if you change direction. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> A new chapter can begin with an experiment—not an immediate resignation. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Informational interviews can help replace an imagined career with a clearer picture of daily work. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Coaching should support your choices rather than create another set of expectations to satisfy. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Confidence can grow through small actions; it does not have to arrive before you begin. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> A promotion deserves evaluation, not automatic acceptance. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Your goals can change as your needs, priorities, and self-understanding change. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> A hard period is a reason to investigate—not proof that your whole career was a mistake.

A company can celebrate neurodiversity, hire neurodivergent employees, and still create a workplace where those employees burn out trying to stay. So what does inclusion look like after the interview? In this episode of Adulting with Autism, I talk with Nat Hawley, founder of Divergent Thinking, a UK-based workplace neuroinclusion consultancy. Nat combines lived experience of autism, dyslexia, and dyspraxia with professional experience and a master's degree in applied neuroscience. His organization supports workplaces through training, coaching, needs assessments, and reviews of recruitment, communication, policies, and everyday practice. We discuss the difference between awareness and embedded inclusion, why accessible recruitment must lead to sustainable employment, and how workplaces can remove unnecessary barriers before employees have to ask. Nat also shares a practical approach to feedback: describe what happened, avoid assuming the worst, explain the impact, and work together on a way forward. We explore disclosure as a personal decision, asking for support, workplace needs passports, and why promotion should recognize results—not require everyone to follow one narrow path. This episode is for neurodivergent employees, job seekers, managers, HR teams, parents supporting young adults, and anyone tired of hearing "read the room" instead of receiving clear instructions. In this episode p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Nat's journey from understanding himself through limitations to recognizing his strengths. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Combining lived experience, professional practice, and neuroscience. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Universal design: starting with how people work rather than requiring people to fit existing processes. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why celebrating neurodiversity is different from embedding inclusion into everyday decisions. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Moving from reactive support toward proactive, sustainable workplace practices. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The difference between getting someone hired and helping them stay without exhausting themselves. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Recruitment processes that reward familiarity and social performance rather than revealing talent. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Written communication, quiet spaces, and accessible onboarding as everyday design choices. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Checking staffing, training, workload, and time expectations before blaming an employee. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Questions job seekers can ask about policies, employee networks, and leadership. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Nat's explanation of double empathy as a two-way effort to understand different communication styles. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why "be more proactive," "it's obvious," and "read the room" can leave employees guessing. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> A feedback approach built around observation, impact, curiosity, and collaboration. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Framing support requests around what helps you contribute effectively. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why disclosure is personal—not a requirement to become the office's neurodiversity spokesperson. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Workplace needs assessments and passports as ways to document practical support. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Recognizing when repeated unmet needs may indicate a workplace mismatch. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Career progression through different methods, including assistive technology. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Nat's example of using audio to improve his understanding and retention of written material. About Nat Hawley Nat Hawley is the founder of Divergent Thinking, a UK-based workplace neuroinclusion consultancy. In this conversation, he shares his lived experience of autism, dyslexia, and dyspraxia and describes a decade of supporting neurodivergent people with employment, purpose, and self-understanding. A TEDx speaker with an MSc in Applied Neuroscience, Nat brings together personal experience and workplace expertise. Divergent Thinking offers consultancy, workplace needs assessments, strengths-based coaching, audits, manager training, workshops, and speaking services. Find Nat's resources, training, coaching, workshops, and contact information at divergentthinking.uk—not ".co.uk." Key takeaways p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> An accessible interview is a beginning, not the end of inclusion. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Sustainable employment matters as much as recruitment. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Before judging performance, investigate the instructions, training, workload, environment, and available support. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Clear feedback describes behavior and impact rather than assigning a negative personality label. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Understanding communication differences should be a shared effort. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> People can discuss work preferences without making their whole identity available for public discussion. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Different methods can lead to the same valuable outcome. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Workplace inclusion should be built into everyday systems—not restarted every awareness week.

What if understanding your energy, attention, and daily struggles does not require another expensive wearable—or tracking every 15 minutes of your life? In this episode of Adulting with Autism, I talk with science writer Gary Wolf, co-founder of the Quantified Self movement and author of The Quantified Self: Learning to Observe. His work explores how people can use their own observations and data to answer questions that matter in their everyday lives.:not([hidden])~:not([hidden]))]:border-soft bg-soft">workman+1 We discuss how to start with one concrete question: Do I have energy left after work? When do I crash? What makes me late? What helps me recover? Gary explains why personal observations matter, how wearables can provide context without telling the whole story, and why an experiment that does not work is information—not proof that you failed. We also walk through my hypothetical work-crash pattern and explore how to investigate it without immediately turning my entire life upside down. This conversation is for autistic, ADHD, and neurodivergent adults who want to understand themselves without creating another overwhelming productivity system. In this episode p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How a gathering organized by Gary and Kevin Kelly became a worldwide self-research community. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The three Quantified Self show-and-tell questions: "What did I do? How did I do it? What did I learn?" p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why tracking attention or energy does not have to mean recording every moment. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Starting with one daily observation rather than a complicated dashboard. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Gary's practical starting suggestion of approximately six weeks of daily observations—not a universal threshold for proving a result. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why "I had energy left after work" is a meaningful observation. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Refining vague measures into something easier to notice. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Investigating specific difficulties instead of trying to measure "executive function" as one giant concept. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Foreground data: the question or experience you actually care about. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Background data: context from wearables, calendars, messages, and other existing records. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The difference between noticing a useful personal pattern and proving an intervention works for everyone. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> When tracking becomes more burdensome than useful. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The role of clinician collaboration when questions involve symptoms, medication, or health decisions. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> April's hypothetical question: "Why do I crash every third workday?" p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Observing a pattern before choosing a change. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Using what you learn to select a small, relevant experiment. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why curiosity can help replace the story "This system failed, so I'm a failure." p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Learning from other people's self-research without assuming their solution will fit your life. About Gary Gary Wolf is a science and technology writer based in Berkeley, California. A former executive editor of Wired Digital and contributing editor at Wired, he co-founded the Quantified Self movement in 2008.workman He now works with the Personal Science Research Group to develop methods, tools, and case studies that support small-scale empirical research. His book, The Quantified Self: Learning to Observe, brings together personal stories and scientific reasoning methods for exploring questions about mood, cognition, sleep, pain, digestion, and other areas of life.:not([hidden])~:not([hidden]))]:border-soft bg-soft">workman+1 Resources: p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Gary's website.antephase p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Quantified Self and book information.quantifiedself p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Publisher's book page.workman Release note: The publisher lists October 6, 2026, as the book's release date. Use "available for preorder" if the episode publishes before then, and "available now" afterward.workman Key takeaways p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Start with a question that matters to you—not whatever your device happens to measure. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> One useful observation can be more manageable than a complicated tracking system. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Your experience belongs in the picture; a wearable score is not the whole story. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Personal patterns can guide questions and decisions without establishing universal cause and effect. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Tracking should serve your life. Reassess when its burden exceeds its usefulness. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> An unsuccessful experiment can still teach you something. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Health-related tracking can support a clinical conversation; it is not a substitute for medical evaluation or guidance on medication changes.

What if you spent years believing you were lazy, disorganized, not smart enough, too emotional, not trying hard enough, or "not living up to your potential"—only to discover that ADHD, executive-function differences, anxiety, and a learning disability were shaping your experience the entire time? In this episode of Adulting with Autism, I talk with Marvie Corbett, clinical therapist, social worker, author, ADHD adult, parent of three, and educational advocate in the DC/Virginia area. Marvie shares how postpartum depression and anxiety led to cognitive testing—and how those results gave her language for a lifetime of struggles with focus, math, organization, task initiation, academic pressure, self-doubt, and masking.paste.txt We talk about bright kids who can compensate until executive-function demands rise, the overlap between ADHD and anxiety, why girls are often labeled anxious or depressed before anyone looks at ADHD, and how families can support neurodivergent children without turning every struggle into a moral failure. This is a conversation about replacing shame with context, building systems around your actual brain, and learning how to be the boss of your executive functioning instead of feeling controlled by it. In This Episode, We Cover p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Who Marvie Corbett is: clinical therapist, social worker, author, parent of three, ADHD adult, educational advocate, and clinician in the DC/Virginia area.paste.txt p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why "bright but struggling," "lazy," "not trying," "unmotivated," and "not living up to your potential" are harmful labels for ADHD adults and children. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Executive functioning as a collection of skills or "muscles," not one single ability. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Different executive-function areas: task initiation, sustained attention, working memory, organization, planning, emotional regulation, impulse control, flexibility, prioritization, and follow-through. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why task initiation gets so much attention: people can see that you are not starting the report, assignment, homework, email, or household task—but they cannot see the effort it takes to begin. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Marvie's late ADHD discovery after postpartum depression and anxiety with her second child. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How cognitive testing helped separate sleep deprivation, anxiety, depression, focus difficulties, learning differences, and underlying ADHD patterns. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why a good assessment can create a "lightbulb moment" for adults who have spent decades blaming themselves. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The grief and relief of realizing, "I am actually smart. It was just really hard." p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How ADHD and learning differences can remain hidden in academically bright children who compensate through intelligence, perfectionism, people-pleasing, overworking, anxiety, and last-minute effort. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why executive-function demands often increase sharply around third and fourth grade, sixth grade, ninth grade, college, parenting, postpartum life, and high-pressure careers. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why a child can do well in early grades and then "hit a wall" as organization, multi-step assignments, independent work, social complexity, and workload demands increase. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Marvie's realization that she also had a math learning disability and how that reframed years of frustration with math homework and academics. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why girls are often diagnosed first with anxiety or depression while ADHD goes unseen. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why anxiety and ADHD can become intertwined: behavioral feedback, rejection, impulsivity, overstimulation, fast thinking, threat scanning, perfectionism, and fear of disappointing people. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> ADHD and anxiety as "friends nobody asked for." p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why highly capable ADHD adults may create elaborate systems, lists, reminders, alarms, notes, and organization hacks without realizing they are compensating for executive-function needs. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Neurodivergent and neurotypical relationships: why people can care deeply about each other while using different "operating systems." p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why forgetfulness, missed dates, incomplete tasks, topic-switching, and delayed follow-through can hurt loved ones even when they are not intentional. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why neurotypical people may need to pause before personalizing executive-function challenges. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why neurodivergent people still need to take responsibility for creating systems that help them show up in relationships. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Batching: pairing a task you need to do with something more enjoyable or rewarding to make it easier to start. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why neurotypical people do not always need to understand every neurodivergent brain hack in order to respect it. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How ADHD masking differs from autistic masking. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> ADHD masking as overworking, people-pleasing, running too hot, striving for approval, overperforming, compensating, and pushing yourself beyond sustainable capacity. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Autistic masking as navigating social cues, performing expected behavior, modifying communication, managing eye contact, decoding indirect language, and suppressing natural responses. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why "doing your best" should include leaving enough energy for home, rest, relationships, hobbies, and life outside work. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How to distinguish your actual goals from conventional success, prestige, family expectations, income pressure, achievement culture, and "more, more, more." p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why a sustainable job may matter more than a prestigious job. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Questions to ask about career fit: p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Will I have energy after work? p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Can I work at a pace that fits my brain? p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Do I have autonomy? p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Is there meaning behind the work? p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Is the environment tolerable? p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Can I build a contented life around this role? p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Time blindness: struggling to estimate time, track time passing, plan ahead, understand duration, or accurately predict how long something will take. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why always arriving 15–30 minutes early can actually be a coping strategy for time blindness. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Visual time tools: analog clocks, visual timers, color-based timers, countdowns, routines, and external time cues. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Biological time versus clock time: working around hunger, fatigue, energy, interest, and internal rhythm rather than only arbitrary clock expectations. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Strategic avoidance: avoiding emails, bank accounts, grading, paperwork, difficult conversations, medical appointments, and other emotionally threatening tasks. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How to tell the difference between avoiding something because it is boring and avoiding it because it triggers shame, rejection sensitivity, fear, guilt, or past negative experiences. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why scheduling work and scheduling fun can reduce guilt and make rest more restorative. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Sensory regulation for ADHD adults: movement, fidgeting, cardiovascular exercise, music, novelty, physical activity, stimulation, and intentional sensory input. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why fidgeting may support focus and retention. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why ADHD adults may need stimulation to regulate rather than needing only quiet rest. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why exercise can help reduce anxiety and improve executive functioning. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Body doubling as adult parallel play: working near another person, even on different tasks, to support activation, accountability, and focus. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> What supportive relationships with ADHD adults can look like: curiosity, humor, realistic time expectations, reminders, acceptance, communication, and not taking every interruption personally. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why ADHD interruptions can be about working memory and connection rather than disrespect. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How to communicate when interruptions hurt: name the impact without assuming malicious intent. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why neurodivergence should not become a moral failure or an excuse. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How to own your needs while also accepting responsibility for the systems, supports, and strategies that help you participate in relationships and daily life. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why newly diagnosed ADHD adults should begin with reflection instead of immediately redesigning their entire lives. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The importance of looking back at your history with curiosity: school, relationships, work, childhood feedback, academic shifts, anxiety, depression, burnout, and patterns of self-blame. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Self-compassion versus self-esteem: why worth should not depend on achievement, success, being "good enough," or proving yourself. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why you should treat yourself as you would treat a good friend who is struggling. p]:pt-0 [

What if one of the most effective ways to support a neurodivergent child is not starting with the child at all? What if it starts with the adult learning to regulate themselves first? In this episode of Adulting with Autism, I talk with fellow occupational therapist Colleen about self-regulation, co-regulation, sensory processing, meltdowns, shutdowns, boundaries, parent burnout, repair conversations, and helping neurodivergent children build confidence without being punished for nervous-system responses.paste.txt Colleen shares why every behavior is communication, why meltdowns are not manipulation, why shutdowns can be missed because they are quieter, and why "defiance" is often a poor explanation for what is actually happening. We also talk about the difference between being firm and being harsh, being flexible and being permissive, holding a boundary and dismissing a feeling, and helping your child develop independence without rescuing them from every hard moment. This episode is for parents, caregivers, neurodivergent adults, occupational therapists, educators, and anyone who has ever thought: "I know what I should do, but I am overstimulated, dysregulated, and my kid just pushed every button I have." In This Episode, We Cover p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Who Colleen is: pediatric occupational therapist, self-regulation specialist, parent educator, creator of Growing Butterflies OT, and founder of Creations With Colleen.paste.txt p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why she moved to California—and why good weather was part of the decision. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The guiding question behind her work: "What if the most effective way to support your child is to regulate yourself first?"paste.txt p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How Colleen's pediatric OT work led her to focus on supporting adults and parents before expecting them to co-regulate a child. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Self-regulation in ordinary language: feeling as okay as possible while navigating the hard, uncomfortable, stressful, overwhelming, or unexpected parts of life. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why emotional regulation is not about never having feelings—it is about understanding feelings, noticing them, and choosing what to do next. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The difference between self-regulation and co-regulation. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Self-regulation: how you care for yourself, understand your body, identify your needs, and move through difficult moments. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Co-regulation: how your regulated nervous system influences and supports another person's nervous system. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Sensory processing and self-regulation: why hunger, fatigue, transitions, sounds, smells, light, food textures, social demands, and sensory overload can affect behavior. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why smell sensitivity, noise sensitivity, light sensitivity, food aversions, movement needs, and sensory preferences can all affect emotional regulation. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why some people need more intentional sensory support to feel calm, safe, alert, focused, or organized. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why "defiance" may be a misleading label for a child who is overwhelmed, dysregulated, lacking a skill, anxious, sensory overloaded, confused, or feeling powerless. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why some children born after COVID may show more intense preferences, stronger opinions, and less willingness to simply "go with the flow." p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How to honor a child's voice while also accepting that some tasks are non-negotiable. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The balance between accommodating children and helping them learn to do hard things. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why a child's meltdown is communication—not proof of bad intentions. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> What meltdowns may communicate: overwhelm, lack of control, sensory overload, frustration, fear, perceived unfairness, exhaustion, lack of communication tools, or a nervous system that has reached capacity. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why children often have their biggest meltdowns with parents or caregivers because they feel safest there. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why shutdowns are just as important as meltdowns, even when they are quieter and easier to miss. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Shutdown signs: becoming quiet, withdrawing, disengaging, appearing to "give up," becoming less verbal, avoiding interaction, zoning out, or losing access to previously available skills. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why confidence-building can protect against shutdown by helping children feel capable of working through difficult moments. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Common adult reactions that accidentally increase dysregulation: saying no without explanation, piling on language, arguing, escalating, demanding compliance in the heat of the moment, or ignoring a child's need for control. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why children may interpret "no" as permanent unless adults clearly explain the boundary and offer future options. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Effective co-regulation: adults learning their own triggers, sensory needs, anxiety patterns, exhaustion signals, and capacity limits. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why many adults were never taught emotional regulation in childhood and are now expected to teach it to their children. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Colleen's coffee story: missing a needed second cup of coffee before a demanding preschool observation and then realizing how quickly neglecting her own needs affected her capacity. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why taking care of yourself first is not selfish—it allows you to show up with more patience, discernment, flexibility, and emotional room for others. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Boundaries: the difference between harshness, permissiveness, overgiving, self-abandonment, loving limits, and firm guidance. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why setting boundaries is especially difficult when parents are tired, triggered, guilty, people-pleasing, sensory overloaded, or afraid of upsetting their children. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why feelings are always valid, but not every behavior is okay. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> A simple core message: "You are allowed to feel angry. You are not allowed to hurt someone because you are angry." p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How to prepare for hard moments before they happen rather than trying to teach new skills at the peak of a meltdown. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why a dysregulated child is not ready for a long lesson, reasoning, negotiation, or behavior analysis. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why co-regulation with autistic and ADHD teens may look like space, quiet presence, patience, offering options, respecting no-touch preferences, and waiting for communication in its own form. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why nonverbal, minimally speaking, or differently communicating children are still communicating constantly through behavior, facial expression, movement, proximity, withdrawal, sensory seeking, and choices. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How to create sensory-supportive spaces without spending huge amounts of money on specialized equipment. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Low-cost sensory supports: noise-canceling headphones, spinning chairs, therapy balls, trampolines, movement breaks, jumping, safe pressure, music, massage, fidgets, household items, weighted blankets, and sensory routines. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why sensory support does not need to come from expensive products with the word "sensory" printed on the label. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why older kids, teens, and adults should be taught to identify their own sensory needs instead of relying on others to identify them forever. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why self-awareness is one of the most valuable long-term OT goals. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> What power struggles often communicate: a child needs more autonomy, clarity, predictability, connection, choices, or emotional support. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why offering more small choices throughout the day can reduce later power struggles. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Examples of small choices: red cup or blue cup, shower before or after dinner, homework before or after snack, which shirt, which activity, which order. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Inner authority: building trust in your own ability to decide whether a strategy is working, whether it needs more time, or whether it is not the right fit for your family. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why families need to listen to advice without losing their own discernment. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Repair after conflict: why it is not enough to just move on after a big feeling moment. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> When to repair: after everyone has settled, not at the peak of distress. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> A repair script: name what happened, acknowledge feelings, identify the behavior, hold the boundary, ask for the child's perspective, and make a plan for next time. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why "I'm sorry" alone may not feel meaningful to children without explanation, accountability, connection, and changed behavior. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How adult children can work toward repair with parents even if they did not grow up in regulation-focused homes. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why adult children today are more willing to name past harm, ask hard questions, and refuse to pretend childhood experiences were okay when they were not. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why repair requires self-reflection, honest communicati

What if your ADHD, autism, executive dysfunction, sensory sensitivity, sleep issues, burnout, mood shifts, and inability to "keep masking" are not suddenly getting worse because you are failing? What if your hormones, nervous system, sleep, nutrient status, stress load, and neurodivergent brain are all interacting at the same time? In this episode of Adulting with Autism, I talk with Dr. Sarah, a board-certified physician and neurodivergent woman in midlife who focuses on precision-guided, personalized care for neurodivergent women through perimenopause, menopause, and beyond.paste.txt We talk about why neurodivergent women may experience perimenopausal symptoms earlier, why estrogen and testosterone affect executive function, how disrupted sleep amplifies everything, and why standard medical approaches often miss the bigger picture. Dr. Sarah also explains why ferritin, B vitamins, progesterone, cortisol, circadian rhythm, food aversions, sensory needs, stress, burnout, libido, relationships, and masking can all be part of the same conversation. This episode is for every neurodivergent woman who has been told, "Your labs are normal," "You're too young for perimenopause," "It's just stress," or "You just need to sleep more"—while internally feeling like a raccoon in a dumpster fire. In This Episode, We Cover p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Who Dr. Sarah is: board-certified physician, neurodivergent woman in midlife, and provider focused on precision-guided, personalized care for neurodivergent women.paste.txt p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why neurodivergent women often face multiple overlapping challenges across the lifespan: PMDD, difficult menstrual cycles, postpartum changes, hormonal shifts, perimenopause, menopause, sensory overload, executive dysfunction, masking, burnout, and medical dismissal.paste.txt p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The difference between menopause and perimenopause. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Menopause as one point in time: the point after 12 months without a menstrual period, followed by postmenopause. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why perimenopausal symptoms can begin years before menopause. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why neurodivergent women may notice perimenopausal symptoms much earlier than expected, sometimes in their 30s. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why women may be dismissed with: "You're too young for perimenopause." p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Estrogen's wide-ranging role in the body, including the brain, executive function, memory, motivation, mood, and cognition. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why fluctuating estrogen can be particularly difficult for neurodivergent brains that are sensitive to unpredictable highs, lows, changes, and internal instability. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How perimenopause can make autism and ADHD traits feel more intense. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why masking, camouflaging, stimming, focus strategies, emotional regulation, and coping systems that once worked may stop working in midlife. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Dopamine and estrogen: why falling estrogen can affect attention, motivation, executive function, and ADHD symptoms. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Testosterone and the neurodivergent brain: energy, confidence, drive, executive function, communication, and the ability to show up in a meeting, make a pitch, or advocate for yourself. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why testosterone often receives less discussion than estrogen despite its role in women's health and cognition. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Hormonal birth control, testosterone, and why some women may have low hormone levels earlier than they realize. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why hormone treatment for neurodivergent women may need a slower, more individualized approach rather than one standard dose or protocol. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why some neurodivergent women may be more sensitive to estrogen, progesterone, hormonal shifts, medication changes, and side effects. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The role of ferritin, iron, B6, B12, magnesium, nutrient absorption, food aversions, menstrual bleeding, gut health, and mitochondrial function. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why low ferritin can affect energy, dopamine pathways, cognition, thyroid function, mood, and executive function. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why simply being told to take an iron supplement or receive an infusion may not address the underlying cause of low ferritin. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The importance of asking why a lab value is low: menstrual bleeding, absorption issues, diet, food aversion, gut issues, hormone changes, or other causes. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Sleep as the most important foundational system for brain function, nervous-system regulation, mood, executive function, hormones, cellular repair, and chronic illness prevention. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why disrupted sleep can worsen ADHD symptoms, emotional regulation, memory, executive dysfunction, anxiety, fatigue, and sensory sensitivity. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Circadian rhythm support: getting light exposure into the eyes soon after waking to help regulate cortisol, energy, melatonin, and sleep timing. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why morning cortisol is not always the enemy—it is part of helping the body wake, activate, and generate energy. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Sleep latency, rumination, racing thoughts, early waking, deep sleep, REM sleep, and why neurodivergent women may struggle with all of them. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Progesterone, GABA, and why hormonal shifts can influence calming, rumination, sleep, and nervous-system regulation. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Long-term masking and chronic stress: the "sympathetic spiral of doom." p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why neurodivergent brains can feel like Ferrari engines with weak brakes: high output, high sensitivity, and difficulty downshifting. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How chronic sympathetic activation can affect cortisol, metabolism, insulin sensitivity, weight changes, sleep, burnout, and overall capacity. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why "normal" lab ranges are not always the same as optimal functioning for a specific person. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The limitations of reference ranges that include broad populations across large age spans and different levels of health. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why "your labs are normal" can fail to capture how a patient actually feels and functions. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Subclinical patterns: why a result may technically fall inside a reference range while still warranting a deeper look in context. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How to advocate at medical appointments without needing to become a hormone, lab, or supplement expert. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why it helps to arrive with a written symptom list, specific questions, a brief timeline, and a clear request. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Useful self-advocacy language: p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> "These are the symptoms I am experiencing." p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> "This is how they are affecting my daily function." p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> "I would like to explore possible causes." p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> "If you do not think this is the cause, can you explain what else we should investigate?" p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> "If this is outside your area of practice, can you refer me to someone else?" p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How ADHD medications may need adjustments during perimenopause and menopause due to changing estrogen, testosterone, dopamine, sleep, stress, and executive-function needs. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why some women may need different medication doses at different points in the menstrual cycle or hormonal transition. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why treatment should be individualized rather than assuming every woman needs the same medication, supplement, hormone protocol, diet, workout, or "biohack." p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why wellness trends can become another source of failure and shame for neurodivergent women. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The difference between understanding a wellness principle and forcing yourself to use it in a way that does not fit your sensory needs, energy, food preferences, schedule, or nervous system. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why "food prep" may be a great concept but still fail if eating food prepared days earlier is a sensory nonstarter. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why gym culture may be overwhelming for a neurodivergent person even if movement itself is beneficial. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Low-hanging-fruit supports: sleep, morning light, nervous-system regulation, nutrient evaluation, realistic food support, and reducing sympathetic overdrive. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Early signs that your current pace may no longer be sustainable: sleep changes, afternoon crashes, worsening focus, reduced masking capacity, cognitive slowing, more sensory overwhelm, short temper, and feeling unlike yourself. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why "I cannot get past 3:30 p.m." can be useful health information, not simply laziness. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Energy mapping: identifying peak, neutral, and depleted periods in your day. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How to rearrange tasks around energy instead of forcing executive-function-heavy work into your lowest-capacity hours. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why taking a nap, lying down, using a weighted blanket, stimming, breathing, closing the door, or taking a true break may make the rest of the day more manageable. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Relationships, parenting, com

What if a student who appears to be "struggling" is not showing you their full potential because the environment, instruction style, expectations, or support system is not working for their brain? In this episode of Adulting with Autism, I talk with Joie, Senior Director of Teaching and Learning at Fusion Academy. Joie has spent more than 15 years working in personalized education, including special education, campus leadership, teaching and learning strategy, social-emotional development, and support for neurodivergent students.paste.txt Fusion Academy uses a one teacher-to-one student model, where teachers serve as both instructors and mentors. Joie explains what educators can learn in that environment that may be invisible in a traditional classroom—and why strong relationships, clear expectations, individualized executive-function support, and high standards can coexist.paste.txt We discuss adolescence as a complicated but formative time, the hidden curriculum that makes school hard for autistic and ADHD students, why "just use a planner" often fails, how to support self-advocacy, and why parents must gradually move from standing in front of their kids to standing beside them. In This Episode, We Cover p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Who Joie is: Senior Director of Teaching and Learning at Fusion Academy, longtime educator, former special education lead, parent, reader, runner, and advocate for personalized education.paste.txt p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Her 15-plus-year journey with Fusion Academy, including campus leadership and national teaching-and-learning work.paste.txt p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why adolescence is complicated: hormones, identity, peer relationships, brain development, academic expectations, family dynamics, self-discovery, and the transition toward adulthood. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Fusion Academy's reminder for educators: "We know—we were there. It's our job to remember."paste.txt p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why every adult in a school should remember what it felt like to be a teenager before assuming a student is just being difficult, disengaged, dramatic, or lazy. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How a psychology background encourages curiosity: asking "Why is this happening?" instead of making assumptions based on behavior. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why behavior is not always a direct reflection of capacity, intelligence, motivation, or future potential. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The danger of letting a diagnosis, behavior pattern, or school history become a ceiling on what a student can do. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why neuroplasticity matters in adolescence: skills, habits, confidence, coping strategies, academic patterns, and self-awareness can still develop significantly. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why traditional education sometimes focuses more on performance and compliance than potential, connection, environment, and individualized access. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Fusion Academy's one teacher-to-one student model and the learning advantages of focused individual attention.paste.txt p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> What teachers can discover in a one-to-one setting: interests, goals, sensory needs, learning preferences, motivation, anxiety patterns, barriers to engagement, and the unique ways a student connects with content. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why relationship-building can improve academic engagement and willingness to take risks in learning. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Fusion's "Love, Motivate, Teach" educational approach.paste.txt p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why supportive learning does not mean reducing expectations or enabling avoidance. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How one-to-one instruction can make expectations clearer because a student cannot disappear into the back of the classroom or rely on peers to answer every question. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why high expectations can be an act of care when they are paired with support, clarity, patience, connection, and belief in the student. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The hidden curriculum of school: transitions, group work, unclear expectations, ambiguous instructions, reading between the lines, perspective taking, self-management, organization, social performance, and asking for help. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why group work can be especially difficult for students who need clear roles, predictable expectations, direct communication, and structured collaboration. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How ambiguous assignments can trigger anxiety, perfectionism, avoidance, shutdown, or task paralysis. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why rubrics, exemplars, models, visual roadmaps, and multiple examples of successful work can reduce anxiety while preserving creativity. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The difference between showing a student an example and removing their ability to think creatively. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Executive-function support: identifying whether the core challenge is organization, task initiation, planning, prioritization, time management, working memory, emotional regulation, or following through. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why individualized executive-function support starts with observing where frustration actually occurs—not giving every student the same planner, checklist, app, or productivity system. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How to gradually build skills: work on one routine or tool at a time, practice it long enough to become usable, then add the next support. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why "just break it down" fails when a student is already overwhelmed by 10 new systems, planners, calendars, checklists, expectations, and adult pressure. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How to make executive-function struggles less shameful: "You are not chaos. We may just need support with organization." p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why self-advocacy needs to be made visible, practiced, named, and explained before students transition to adulthood. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The difference between adults quietly doing things for students and students understanding what supports they need and how to ask for them. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why social-emotional learning is not just a generic curriculum—it should be individualized, explicit, student-directed, skill-based, and connected to real-life goals. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Fusion's school-wide learner outcomes: inclusivity, resourcefulness, critical thinking, and self-awareness.paste.txt p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why neurodivergent students should help choose their own social-emotional learning focus, such as communication, perspective taking, connection, self-awareness, advocacy, confidence, or group participation. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why teachers should not assume that social-emotional skills are intuitive for every learner. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Skills that supportive middle and high schools should help neurodivergent students develop before graduation: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, communication, executive function, resilience, advocacy, and practical independence. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How parents can support growing independence without rescuing, controlling, or removing every obstacle. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The shift from standing in front of your child to standing beside them. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why the parent role may evolve from "I will do it for you" to "I will help you prepare to do it yourself." p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How parents can observe school struggles, communicate with teachers, watch engagement patterns, and seek the right supports. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why educational therapists can be especially helpful for neurodivergent students working on executive function, academic skills, cognition, and learning strategies. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How a student can assess whether they need to leave a school environment or whether they need stronger supports within that environment. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The first question to ask: "Who are my supports, and have I actually used them?" p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Fusion Academy's in-person and virtual programming, with more than 80 physical campuses across the country and virtual options for families.paste.txt About the Guest Joie is the Senior Director of Teaching and Learning at Fusion Academy. She has spent more than 15 years in personalized education, beginning as a special education lead at Fusion's first replication campus in Los Angeles before moving into campus administration and national education leadership.paste.txt Her work focuses on personalized learning, educator development, neurodivergent student support, executive function, social-emotional learning, mentoring, and helping schools create environments where students feel seen, valued, challenged, and capable.paste.txt At Fusion Academy, Joie supports an educational model built around one teacher and one student per class. This model allows teachers to develop deeper understanding of a student's learning style, interests, goals, strengths, barriers, and support needs.paste.txt To learn more about Fusion Academy, its in-person campuses, virtual options, personalized learning model, family resources, and events, visit fusionacademy.com. Key Takeaways p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Adolescence is not a problem to survive; it is a complicated, formative period where identity, independence, relationships, learning, and future direction are still developing. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> A diagnosis, behavior pattern, or history of school struggle should never be used as a ceiling on a student's potential. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:m

What if the problem is not that ADHDers are lazy, irresponsible, unmotivated, disorganized, or "not trying hard enough"? What if the problem is that modern school, work, productivity, and social systems were built around a different type of brain? In this episode of Adulting with Autism, Sol Smith returns to talk about his new book, The ADHDer's Guide to Self-Discovery. Sol is an autistic and ADHD life coach, former college professor, author of The Autistic's Guide to Self-Discovery, and founder of the Neurospicy Community.paste.txt We talk about ADHD beyond generic productivity advice. This conversation gets into dopamine, cortisol, procrastination, masking, rejection sensitivity, time blindness, sensory regulation, people-pleasing, burnout, body doubling, self-compassion, and why ADHD adults need systems that work with their brains instead of systems designed to make them look more neurotypical. Sol also explains why ADHD is not always a "superpower," why the "fish climbing a tree" metaphor needs an update, and why a better goal is to lean into your strengths while finding enough support around the things that drain you. In This Episode, We Cover p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Who Sol Smith is: autistic and ADHD life coach, former college professor, late-identified AuDHD adult, author, and founder of the Neurospicy Community.paste.txt p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Sol's new book, The ADHDer's Guide to Self-Discovery, and why he wrote a self-understanding book rather than another shame-based guide to "fixing" ADHD behavior.paste.txt p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why many ADHD resources still focus too much on changing the person to meet external standards instead of changing environments and expectations to reveal ADHD strengths. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Autism and ADHD overlap: shared executive-function challenges, task initiation difficulties, burnout, masking, rejection sensitivity, and living in systems made for someone else's neurotype. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why autism and ADHD statistics remain incomplete, especially when research has historically centered white male participants. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The high co-occurrence of autism and ADHD, and why many autistic adults are discovering ADHD later in life. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The difference between autism and ADHD social experiences: overlap in rejection and misunderstanding, but often different patterns of reading social expectations. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Rejection sensitivity and "lowercase t trauma": repeated small rejections, exclusion, marginalization, being in trouble, disappointing others, and being pushed out of groups. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The research Sol discusses on early peer rejection and how quickly ADHD children may be excluded or marginalized in group settings.paste.txt p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The Mario-in-a-Sonic-world metaphor: being capable, creative, and valuable while being judged by standards designed for a different neurotype.paste.txt p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> ADHD motivation and dopamine: why completing an uninteresting task may not provide the same internal reward it does for a neurotypical person. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The elephant metaphor for motivation: leading yourself with a carrot, a stick, urgency, meaning, novelty, interest, or emotional stakes. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Cortisol-driven productivity: procrastinating until urgency floods the system with stress and makes action possible. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why last-minute work can sometimes be excellent work, but still come at a physical and emotional cost. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The hidden costs of relying on stress to make things happen: anxiety, immune-system strain, soft-tissue stress, exhaustion, and burnout. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> People-pleasing as a coping system: doing work for praise, approval, teacher validation, or parental acceptance when the work itself is not rewarding. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why people-pleasing can eventually collapse when praise disappears or external validation no longer feels sufficient. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why ADHDers often excel in urgent, hands-on, fast-moving work, including emergency medicine, surgery, crisis response, and jobs where needs are immediate and concrete. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why "ADHD is a superpower" can be invalidating for people who have not yet found their strengths or are still struggling with disability, shame, and burnout. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> A revised fish metaphor: an ADHDer may be a fish that cannot swim very fast but can climb trees—and fish school never teaches tree climbing.paste.txt p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why the goal is not to become better at every weakness, but to lean into strengths and create support, delegation, trade-offs, or outsourcing around what drains you. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How ADHD masking differs from and overlaps with autistic masking. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Autistic masking as consciously or unconsciously decoding social expectations and trying to perform them correctly. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> ADHD masking as running too hot, overworking, striving for approval, trying to prove worth, and putting in extreme effort to appear neurotypical, competent, and reliable. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why the right definition of "doing your best" includes leaving enough energy for your life outside of work. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How to distinguish between an authentic goal and a performance of conventional success. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why ADHD adults may absorb other people's ideas of prestige, success, money, career, productivity, and "more" before identifying what they actually want. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why sustainable success is a better question than status: What job, schedule, role, environment, or life lets you remain content and still have energy at the end of the day? p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Time blindness: difficulty estimating how long something will take, sensing the passage of time, being on time, understanding future consequences, or balancing "now" versus "later." p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why being 15–30 minutes early can be a sophisticated coping strategy for chronic lateness rather than proof that someone "doesn't have time blindness." p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Visual time supports: analog clocks, visual timers, countdowns, color blocks, and timers that make the passage of time more concrete.paste.txt p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Biological time versus clock time: hunger, fatigue, interest, energy, and internal rhythms can be more intuitive than arbitrary clock-based expectations. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Strategic avoidance: avoiding money, emails, schoolwork, difficult conversations, boss meetings, emotionally loaded tasks, and other areas that trigger stress or rejection sensitivity. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How to distinguish boring-task avoidance from emotionally threatening avoidance. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why scheduling the work and scheduling the fun can reduce guilt and help ADHD adults actually rest. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Sensory regulation and focus: fidgeting, movement, exercise, music, novelty, stimulation, cardiovascular activity, and intentional sensory input. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why fidgeting may improve focus and retention for ADHD learners rather than prove they are "not paying attention." p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why ADHD adults may need stimulation to regulate instead of needing only quiet downtime. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Body doubling and autistic "parallel play": working near another person, even on separate tasks, to create structure, support task initiation, and reduce the cognitive load of starting. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Supportive relationships for ADHD adults: realistic expectations, curiosity, patience, humor, clearer time expectations, and understanding that tangents may be a chain of real associations rather than inattention. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why interruptions can signal comfort and connection for ADHDers, while still requiring communication and respect for the other person's feelings. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The importance of explaining impact: "When you interrupt me, it hurts my feelings," rather than assigning malicious intent. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The unmasking roadmap in Sol's book, based on Dabrowski's positive disintegration framework. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why unmasking and self-discovery can bring grief, sadness, identity disruption, and discomfort before leading to more contentment and control. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> A first step for newly diagnosed or self-recognizing ADHD adults: look back at your history, identify patterns, and replace blame with context before trying to redesign your entire life. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Self-compassion versus self-esteem: why worth should not depend on productivity, perfection, achievement, or proving yourself. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Sol's closing message: treat yourself the way you would treat a good friend who was struggling. About the Guest Sol Smith is an autistic and ADHD life coach, former college professor, author, speaker, and founder of the Neurospicy Community. After being late identified as autistic and ADHD, Sol focused his psychology studies and coaching work on self-understanding, unmasking, neurodivergent identity, executive function, relationships, and building sustainable systems around the actual needs of autistic and ADHD adults.paste.txt He is the author of The Autistic's Guide to Self-Discovery and the newly releas

What if pacing yourself does not mean doing less, lowering your ambition, quiet quitting, or giving up on the things you care about? What if it means learning how to keep going without destroying yourself in the process? In this episode of Adulting with Autism, I talk with science writer Elizabeth Svoboda, author of The Art of Pacing. Elizabeth explores why so many of us get stuck in a cycle of intense effort, overwork, procrastination, anxiety, burnout, collapse, recovery, and then doing the entire thing all over again.simonandschuster+1 We discuss pacing as energy management rather than rigid time management, why your natural rhythms matter, how to recognize your "pulse points," and why rest is not the same as doomscrolling or numbing out. Elizabeth also introduces some of her most useful concepts: rigid flexibility, brief candle moments, selective mediocrity, and the Hero's Journey Restorying Exercise. This episode is for autistic, ADHD, AuDHD, and neurodivergent adults—as well as anyone else who has ever gone too hard, crashed too hard, and wondered why "just manage your time better" never seems to fix the real issue. In This Episode, We Cover p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Who Elizabeth Svoboda is: science writer, contributor to outlets including Scientific American, Greater Good, and Boston Globe Ideas, and author of The Art of Pacing.elizabethsvoboda+1 p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The "ping-pong" cycle between intense effort and lethargy, withdrawal, depression, anxiety, burnout, and recovery. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why many people learn early that working harder, giving 110 percent, and pushing through are the only acceptable ways to pursue success. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The absence of cultural messages about protecting health, nervous-system regulation, sleep, sanity, capacity, and sustainable effort. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why pacing is not giving up, withdrawal, laziness, quiet quitting, or abandoning meaningful goals. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Pacing as learning to navigate the full range of possible speeds instead of constantly bouncing between overdrive and collapse.simonandschuster+1 p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why sustainable pacing requires self-knowledge: what is manageable for one person may not work for another. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The difference between pacing and procrastination. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why procrastination often involves avoidance behaviors that drain energy rather than restore it. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Doomscrolling, social comparison, political stress, endless feeds, and why scrolling can feel like rest while leaving you more depleted. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Pacing as deliberately scheduling real recovery in advance so you can continue doing the things that matter. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Early warning signs that you are pushing beyond capacity: sleep changes, insomnia, waking too early, free-floating anxiety, a racing heart, nervous-system activation, inability to nap, and changes in circadian rhythm. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why physical warning signs can show up before burnout fully takes over. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Healthy ambition: staying engaged in purposeful work, creative pursuits, activism, community involvement, and meaningful goals—without turning exhaustion into a status symbol. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why purposeful activity can be fulfilling and energizing, while relentless overwork can destroy the ability to stay connected to what you care about. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Capacity as individual rather than moral: some people recharge through packed weekends, while others need significant quiet recovery time. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why needing downtime is not laziness, disengagement, or failure. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why rigid time-management systems often fail for neurodivergent adults. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Energy management: identifying when you naturally have more focus, engagement, capacity, and access to flow. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why your best work may happen in the morning, late afternoon, evening, or even late at night—and why your schedule should work with your actual rhythm when possible. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> What "flow" feels like: becoming deeply engaged, losing track of time, feeling pulled forward by meaningful work, and experiencing focus with less forced effort. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why working against natural energy rhythms often requires adrenaline and brute force, making work feel heavier and more draining. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> "Pulse points": the natural high-energy moments in your day when demanding tasks, creative work, problem-solving, or important conversations may fit best.elizabethsvoboda p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> A low-effort capacity audit: asking yourself whether you can realistically keep your current pace for one year, three years, or five years. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why dread about maintaining your current pace can be useful information. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Incremental pacing: reducing one commitment, one hour, one volunteer responsibility, or one unnecessary demand instead of dropping out of everything. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> "Rigid flexibility," inspired by Olympic middle-distance runner Ajee' Wilson: protecting important non-negotiables while allowing flexible timing around them. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> What elite athletes understand about recovery: intense effort requires equally intentional rest. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why recovery is not an indulgence—it is part of maintaining long-term performance. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Brief candle moments: short but deeply meaningful encounters that can change the trajectory of someone's day, identity, confidence, or future. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why giving back does not require taking on a massive, life-consuming commitment. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How a five- or ten-minute conversation, encouragement, mentorship moment, or act of connection can make a real difference. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Selective mediocrity: intentionally doing "good enough" work on low-value tasks so you can reserve real energy for the work and people that matter most.elizabethsvoboda p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why Type A, perfectionistic, high-achieving, and neurodivergent people may need permission to be strategically mediocre. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The concept of doing something "half-assed on purpose" when it is necessary but not meaningful enough to deserve your best energy. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Restorative rest versus numbing avoidance. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why a good break is often very different from the work you were doing: physical movement after desk work, time outdoors, walking, music, stretching, quiet, or play. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why time limits alone may not stop doomscrolling. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Identity-based screen boundaries: asking what you are actually trying to do online and choosing a restorative alternative when there is no useful answer. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why external achievement metrics can signal "success chasing" rather than meaningful work: awards, promotions, praise, titles, likes, and approval. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How meaningful work may focus more on connection, contribution, legacy, relationships, and impact. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why meaningful work can still lead to burnout if you never protect your own needs. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Healthy selfishness: caring for yourself enough to sustain the work you care about over the long term. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> What to do after burnout: rest enough to think clearly, reconnect with purpose, and use the Hero's Journey Restorying Exercise to identify your values, helpers, obstacles, and legacy. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why granular pacing strategies work better after you reconnect with what you actually want your life to stand for. About the Guest Elizabeth Svoboda is a science writer, author, speaker, and researcher who translates psychology, neuroscience, behavior, motivation, resilience, selflessness, creativity, and human thriving into accessible language. Her writing has appeared in Scientific American, Greater Good, The Boston Globe, Psychology Today, and The New York Times, among other publications.elizabethsvoboda+1 Her latest book, The Art of Pacing: A Guide to Balancing Short-Term Demands with Long-Term Thriving, blends research, memoir, and interviews with Olympic athletes, coaches, entrepreneurs, performers, and psychologists to explore how people can balance ambition and rest without burning out.simonandschuster The book introduces tools including energy management, pulse points, modulation, brief candle moments, selective mediocrity, and narrative reflection to help readers make meaningful progress at a sustainable pace.elizabethsvoboda Find Elizabeth's writing, book information, speaking resources, and newsletter at elizabethsvoboda.com. Follow her on Instagram at @svobodster.elizabethsvoboda Key Takeaways p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Pacing is not giving up. It is learning to manage your energy so you can sustain the work, relationships, creative pursuits, and community commitments that matter to you. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Procrastination usually drains energy; pacing intentionally restores energy before you reach a crisis point. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Your capacity is individual. A schedule that energizes someone else may overload you. p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Time management is often too rigid for real lif