Ep. 119: Sex Is a Life Force: Why We Need Sexual Vitality as We Age with Dr. Christina Tracy Stein
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Sexual vitality is about more than sex. It’s about feeling alive, connected, present in your body, and engaged with the person you are, not the person you were 20 or 30 years ago.
And if your sex life has changed as you've gotten older, you'll want to hear this conversation before you decide there's something wrong with you. Maybe you want sex more often than your partner. Maybe they want it more than you do. Maybe you rarely feel spontaneous desire anymore and assume your libido has disappeared. Or maybe hormones, medications, stress, health, or changes in your body have made sex feel different than it used to.
Dr. Christina Tracy Stein, author of The Accomplished Woman and a clinical sexologist, explains what's actually going on and offers some surprisingly practical ways to think about desire and intimacy differently. We talk about spontaneous versus responsive desire, why you don't necessarily have to feel horny first to want sex, and why scheduling sex can sometimes reduce rejection and create anticipation instead of killing the romance.
We also get into the bigger picture. Christina talks about sex as life-force energy and why sexual vitality can be an important part of aging well. We talk about novelty, mindfulness, body image, friendship, emotional intimacy, and how couples can stay connected when their bodies, desires, and relationships inevitably change.
Your sex life doesn't have to look like it did at 30 to be satisfying at 58, 68, or 78. And you don't have to be “in the mood” in the way you may have assumed you did.
If you've ever wondered whether your changing desire is normal, why you and your partner seem to be on completely different sexual schedules, or how to keep intimacy alive in a long-term relationship, this episode is for you.
In this episode:
Why desire discrepancy is so common between partnersSpontaneous vs. responsive desire, and why the distinction mattersWhy you don't have to wait until you're spontaneously turned on to initiate intimacyWhy scheduling sex can actually reduce rejection and increase anticipationHow novelty and mindfulness can reignite long-term intimacyThe impact of hormones, medications, health, and lifestyle on sexual desireHow body image can affect intimacyWhy emotional intimacy and friendship matter to a sexual relationshipWhat Christina means when she calls sex life-force energyHow to maintain sexual vitality as you ageAnd why normalizing sexual changes can help us let go of shame
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