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Blowjobs & Granola: What Keeps Couples Connected What actually keeps desire alive in a long-term relationship? Sex therapist Vanessa Cushing joins Jen and Noelle for a candid conversation about desire discrepancies, painful sex, safety, sexual trauma, menopause, touch, and what happens when couples slowly stop feeling connected. Vanessa walks us through some of the questions she asks couples in sex therapy—and Jen and Noelle volunteer themselves as very willing guinea pigs. The conversation gets personal as they explore low desire, pain during sex, feeling safe with a partner, different needs for touch, and how positive anticipation can help rebuild desire. And then there are blowjobs and granola. Vanessa shares a deceptively simple story about how couples become disconnected: we gradually stop noticing and doing the little things that make our partner feel seen, wanted, and loved. The way back may have much less to do with having more sex than with rebuilding connection, pleasure, consideration, and appreciation. ABOUT VANESSA Vanessa Cushing is a Licensed Professional Counselor and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists), and the founder of Cushing Counseling LLC. She specializes in sexual health, trauma, intimacy, and relationships, working with individuals and couples on everything from sexual dysfunction and desire discrepancies to LGBTQ+ affirming care and out-of-control sexual behaviors. Vanessa trained at Johns Hopkins University and the University of Virginia, and she is the founder of Sex Therapy Pro, an AI platform built to make expert sexual health guidance more accessible. Her work sits at the intersection of clinical expertise, lived experience, and a deep commitment to the people most often left out of the conversation. CONNECT WITH VANESSA CUSHING Cushing Counseling: https://www.cushingcounseling.com/ Sex Therapy Pro: https://sextherapypro.ai/ Instagram: @cushingcounseling Facebook: @cushingcounseling YouTube: @vanessacushing Instagram: @VaginaWhispering Email Jen and Noelle at [email protected] Website: www.VaginaWhispering.com Disclaimer: While Noelle Deane is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in the state of California, she does not provide any psychotherapy or other licensed health care services as the host. Any action you take based on the information contained herein is strictly at your own risk. Please refer to the Podcast disclaimer in the show notes for further information.   Music from #Uppbeat https://uppbeat.io/t/corals/blossom License code: WUMBPOWTLJJPNZ0F

Could wearable technology change the future of women's health? In this episode of Vagina Whispering, Noelle Deane and Jen sit down with emergency physician, inventor, and FirmTech founder Dr. Elliot Justin to explore how objective data may reshape conversations about sexual wellness, aging, and overall health. Together they discuss:  The connection between sexual health and cardiovascular health  The surprising anatomy and physiology of the clitoris  Why blood flow matters  How wearable technology is changing healthcare  Menopause, intimacy, and honest conversations about our changing bodies Rather than relying on assumptions, this conversation explores how better information can help people ask better questions and make more informed decisions about their health. Connect with Dr. Elliot Justin Website: https://myfirmtech.com Women's Health: https://myfemmetech.com Learn more about the Tech Ring, RingMate, and the upcoming Clitique health monitor. Disclaimer: The information presented in this episode is educational in nature and is not medical or psychological advice, nor is it a substitute for seeking licensed healthcare services. Instagram: @VaginaWhispering Email Jen and Noelle at [email protected] Website: www.VaginaWhispering.com Disclaimer: While Noelle Deane is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in the state of California, she does not provide any psychotherapy or other licensed health care services as the host. Any action you take based on the information contained herein is strictly at your own risk. Please refer to the Podcast disclaimer in the show notes for further information.   Music from #Uppbeat https://uppbeat.io/t/corals/blossom License code: WUMBPOWTLJJPNZ0F

What happens when the words coming out of your mouth aren't the words you intended to say? In this candid conversation, Jennifer shares how a simple five-minute misunderstanding with her husband turned into a much bigger discussion about communication, perimenopause, emotional regulation, and what it takes to keep choosing each other in a long-term relationship. We explore: • The emotional impact of perimenopause on relationships  • Why communication can suddenly feel impossible  • Using AI to help explain complex emotions to a partner  • The difference between red flags and deal breakers  • Shared values and relationship longevity  • The role of grace, patience, and willingness in marriage  • Why successful couples continue evolving together We also discuss one of our favorite relationship truths: "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." Whether you're navigating menopause, marriage, partnership, or personal growth, this episode offers an honest look at what it means to keep showing up for each other through life's changes. Email us: [email protected] Instagram: @VaginaWhispering Email Jen and Noelle at [email protected] Website: www.VaginaWhispering.com Disclaimer: While Noelle Deane is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in the state of California, she does not provide any psychotherapy or other licensed health care services as the host. Any action you take based on the information contained herein is strictly at your own risk. Please refer to the Podcast disclaimer in the show notes for further information.   Music from #Uppbeat https://uppbeat.io/t/corals/blossom License code: WUMBPOWTLJJPNZ0F

What happens when you realize you've been giving your energy away without even knowing it? In this deeply personal conversation, Noelle explores what it means to call her sexual energy back to herself after menopause, years of change, and a lifetime of complicated experiences around intimacy. We discuss reconnecting with an old flame, alternate life paths, attraction, flirting, marriage, emotional integrity, and the difference between assigning our energy to someone else versus reclaiming it as our own. This is an honest conversation about desire, self-awareness, boundaries, long-term relationships, and creating intimacy intentionally rather than simply accepting its decline. If you've ever wondered whether desire can be rediscovered, reclaimed, or reimagined, this episode offers a thoughtful and vulnerable exploration of that question. Instagram: @VaginaWhispering Email Jen and Noelle at [email protected] Website: www.VaginaWhispering.com Disclaimer: While Noelle Deane is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in the state of California, she does not provide any psychotherapy or other licensed health care services as the host. Any action you take based on the information contained herein is strictly at your own risk. Please refer to the Podcast disclaimer in the show notes for further information.   Music from #Uppbeat https://uppbeat.io/t/corals/blossom License code: WUMBPOWTLJJPNZ0F

What happens when you stop trying to avoid failure and start allowing yourself to be seen? In this episode, Jen shares the story of a difficult musical audition that almost sent her running in the opposite direction. Instead, it became an unexpected lesson in courage, resilience, and what she calls "failing up." Along the way, we explore singing, finding your voice, taking risks later in life, trusting yourself, and why some of the most meaningful growth happens when things don't go according to plan. We also talk about mediumship, connection after death, and the surprising ways our willingness to show up imperfectly can move us forward. If you've been waiting until you're ready, confident, or guaranteed success, this conversation is for you. Instagram: @VaginaWhispering Email Jen and Noelle at [email protected] Website: www.VaginaWhispering.com Disclaimer: While Noelle Deane is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in the state of California, she does not provide any psychotherapy or other licensed health care services as the host. Any action you take based on the information contained herein is strictly at your own risk. Please refer to the Podcast disclaimer in the show notes for further information.   Music from #Uppbeat https://uppbeat.io/t/corals/blossom License code: WUMBPOWTLJJPNZ0F

In this episode of Vagina Whispering, we explore soul cats, spirit signs, intuitive children, manifestation, creativity, and the courage to stretch beyond familiar versions of ourselves. The conversation begins with a surprising story about a beloved cat who may still be participating in life from the spirit world and evolves into a discussion about channeled writing, signs, synchronicities, and the unexpected ways guidance can show up around us. We also talk about parenting an intuitive child, stepping outside our comfort zones, auditioning for something that feels both exciting and terrifying, and the difference between striving for perfection and allowing ourselves to be authentically seen. At its heart, this episode is about paying attention, remaining open to possibility, and becoming more of who you already are. In this episode: • Soul cats and animal communication • Channeled writing and creative inspiration • Children and intuitive awareness • Signs, synchronicities, and spirit connection • Manifestation and visualization practices • Audition anxiety and self-expression • Authenticity versus perfection • Stretching beyond your comfort zone • Following recurring visions and inner nudges • Becoming more of yourself Important Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and spiritual discussion purposes only and is not a substitute for medical, psychological, or mental health care. While Noelle Deane is a licensed therapist, she does not provide therapy through this podcast. Instagram: @VaginaWhispering Email Jen and Noelle at [email protected] Website: www.VaginaWhispering.com Disclaimer: While Noelle Deane is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in the state of California, she does not provide any psychotherapy or other licensed health care services as the host. Any action you take based on the information contained herein is strictly at your own risk. Please refer to the Podcast disclaimer in the show notes for further information.   Music from #Uppbeat https://uppbeat.io/t/corals/blossom License code: WUMBPOWTLJJPNZ0F

How often do we wait to feel confident before taking a chance? In this heartfelt conversation, Jen shares her decision to audition for a musical despite fears, self-doubt, and the very real possibility of embarrassment. What follows becomes a much deeper discussion about confidence, visibility, aging, self-esteem, creativity, and the courage to be seen. As the conversation unfolds, spirit guidance offers a powerful reminder: sometimes the accomplishment isn't getting the role—it's becoming the person willing to step forward and try. Whether you're considering a new chapter, a creative pursuit, or simply showing up more fully as yourself, this episode is an invitation to stop waiting for confidence and begin anyway. Topics include: • Midlife confidence and self-esteem • Auditioning despite fear • Learning to sing and embracing vulnerability • Being seen after years of self-doubt • Spiritual growth through new experiences • Messages from loved ones in spirit • Divine feminine empowerment • Reinvention and personal growth Instagram: @VaginaWhispering Email Jen and Noelle at [email protected] Website: www.VaginaWhispering.com Disclaimer: While Noelle Deane is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in the state of California, she does not provide any psychotherapy or other licensed health care services as the host. Any action you take based on the information contained herein is strictly at your own risk. Please refer to the Podcast disclaimer in the show notes for further information.   Music from #Uppbeat https://uppbeat.io/t/corals/blossom License code: WUMBPOWTLJJPNZ0F

What happens when your desire doesn't disappear—but simply stops showing up when you expect it to? In this candid conversation, we explore what it means to reconnect with sexual energy during menopause, navigate intimacy when your body is changing, and find new ways of relating to desire without pressure or shame. Noelle shares a simple practice she has been experimenting with: intentionally calling her sexual energy back to herself. Together, we discuss intimacy after menopause, painful sex, hot flashes, sleep disruption, body awareness, and the challenge of staying connected to both ourselves and our partners during times of change. This conversation is honest, vulnerable, funny, and deeply relatable for anyone navigating midlife, menopause, changing desire, or long-term relationships. Topics include: • Calling your sexual energy back to yourself • Reconnecting with desire during menopause • Painful sex and vaginal changes • Intimacy in long-term relationships • Hot flashes and sleep disruption • Body awareness and self-compassion • Alternative approaches to menopause support Instagram: @VaginaWhispering Email Jen and Noelle at [email protected] Website: www.VaginaWhispering.com Disclaimer: While Noelle Deane is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in the state of California, she does not provide any psychotherapy or other licensed health care services as the host. Any action you take based on the information contained herein is strictly at your own risk. Please refer to the Podcast disclaimer in the show notes for further information.   Music from #Uppbeat https://uppbeat.io/t/corals/blossom License code: WUMBPOWTLJJPNZ0F

What happens when motivation disappears and life suddenly feels emotionally heavy? In this vulnerable continuation of our conversation, we explore purpose, depression, emotional numbness, spirituality, self-worth, relationships, burnout, and the complicated experience of trying to feel useful in the world. We talk honestly about: emotional exhaustion and overwhelmdepression and apathyspiritual connection during difficult seasonsself-worth and productivitypurpose and meaningintuition and emotional healingasking spirit for supportrelationships during emotional strugglesupport versus fixingreconnecting with yourselfemotional vulnerability and healingThis episode also explores mediumship, spirit teams, emotional sensitivity, and the challenge of staying emotionally open in a world that often feels overwhelming. If you’ve been feeling disconnected, emotionally numb, spiritually exhausted, or uncertain about your purpose lately, you are not alone. Honoring Intuition. Connecting with Spirit. Healing through Love. #VaginaWhispering #Depression #Spirituality #Purpose #EmotionalHealing #SelfWorth #MentalHealth #Intuition #Mediumship #HealingJourney Instagram: @VaginaWhispering Email Jen and Noelle at [email protected] Website: www.VaginaWhispering.com Disclaimer: While Noelle Deane is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in the state of California, she does not provide any psychotherapy or other licensed health care services as the host. Any action you take based on the information contained herein is strictly at your own risk. Please refer to the Podcast disclaimer in the show notes for further information.   Music from #Uppbeat https://uppbeat.io/t/corals/blossom License code: WUMBPOWTLJJPNZ0F

What happens when your body changes faster than your identity can keep up? In this deeply honest and unexpectedly funny conversation, we talk openly about menopause, hot flashes, painful intimacy, emotional overwhelm, body changes, relationships, self-worth, and learning how to care for ourselves through major life transitions. From airport hot flashes and vaginal moisturizers to emotional support cats and relationship vulnerability, this episode moves between humor and depth in a way that feels refreshingly human. In this episode we discuss: menopause and hormonal shiftspainful sex and vaginal drynessemotional exhaustion and overwhelmintimacy and relationships during midlifebody image and identity changesself-care during hormonal changesemotional support and communicationfinding humor during difficult seasonslearning to listen to your bodynavigating midlife transitions with compassionThis conversation is candid, vulnerable, funny, messy, and deeply real. Honoring Intuition. Connecting with Spirit. Healing through Love. #VaginaWhispering #Menopause #MidlifeWomen #HotFlashes #WomenOver40 #Intimacy #Relationships #Hormones #EmotionalHealth #FemaleWellness Instagram: @VaginaWhispering Email Jen and Noelle at [email protected] Website: www.VaginaWhispering.com Disclaimer: While Noelle Deane is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in the state of California, she does not provide any psychotherapy or other licensed health care services as the host. Any action you take based on the information contained herein is strictly at your own risk. Please refer to the Podcast disclaimer in the show notes for further information.   Music from #Uppbeat https://uppbeat.io/t/corals/blossom License code: WUMBPOWTLJJPNZ0F

This one’s a little extra woo-woo—and also deeply human. A real conversation about loving someone who may be nearing the end of their life, and the emotions that come with it. We talk about the question “Did I do enough?”, what it means to be present when you can’t fix anything, and how love shows up in those moments. Take the intuitive parts however they land for you.  At its core, this is about connection, vulnerability, and being there when it matters. Instagram: @VaginaWhispering Email Jen and Noelle at [email protected] Website: www.VaginaWhispering.com Disclaimer: While Noelle Deane is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in the state of California, she does not provide any psychotherapy or other licensed health care services as the host. Any action you take based on the information contained herein is strictly at your own risk. Please refer to the Podcast disclaimer in the show notes for further information.   Music from #Uppbeat https://uppbeat.io/t/corals/blossom License code: WUMBPOWTLJJPNZ0F

What if one of the most freeing realizations is that… no one is actually paying that much attention to you? In this episode, we explore self-image, aging, and the pressure to look or be a certain way—and how much of that pressure is actually internal. From makeup and confidence to body image and self-talk, this conversation looks at how we relate to ourselves and how we can begin to soften that relationship. We also explore:  Why we assume others are judging us  How aging changes self-perception  The difference between self-expression and seeking approval  Letting go of perfection and embracing authenticity  Finding peace in discomfort (yin yoga and beyond) A grounded, honest conversation about learning to feel more comfortable in your own skin—without needing to be perfect. Instagram: @VaginaWhispering Email Jen and Noelle at [email protected] Website: www.VaginaWhispering.com Disclaimer: While Noelle Deane is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in the state of California, she does not provide any psychotherapy or other licensed health care services as the host. Any action you take based on the information contained herein is strictly at your own risk. Please refer to the Podcast disclaimer in the show notes for further information.   Music from #Uppbeat https://uppbeat.io/t/corals/blossom License code: WUMBPOWTLJJPNZ0F

In this episode of Vagina Whispering, we have a wide-ranging, deeply honest conversation about listening to the body—physically, emotionally, and energetically. We talk about creativity as medicine, perimenopause and depression, guilt around rest and money, the consciousness of the body, and how naming what we feel can begin to loosen its grip. We explore past-life memory, grief held in the land, caring for ourselves from the inside out, and what it means to “begin again” without shame. This is not a polished or prescriptive conversation—it’s a real one. A reminder that our bodies are not problems to fix, but allies that carry wisdom, memory, and compassion. Instagram: @VaginaWhispering Email Jen and Noelle at [email protected] Website: www.VaginaWhispering.com Disclaimer: While Noelle Deane is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in the state of California, she does not provide any psychotherapy or other licensed health care services as the host. Any action you take based on the information contained herein is strictly at your own risk. Please refer to the Podcast disclaimer in the show notes for further information.   Music from #Uppbeat https://uppbeat.io/t/corals/blossom License code: WUMBPOWTLJJPNZ0F

Is he a “bad man”… or just honest about sex? A real conversation about desire, rejection, and what happens when sexual needs don’t match—especially in the context of low libido, pain, and long-term relationships. Instagram: @VaginaWhispering Email Jen and Noelle at [email protected] Website: www.VaginaWhispering.com Disclaimer: While Noelle Deane is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in the state of California, she does not provide any psychotherapy or other licensed health care services as the host. Any action you take based on the information contained herein is strictly at your own risk. Please refer to the Podcast disclaimer in the show notes for further information.   Music from #Uppbeat https://uppbeat.io/t/corals/blossom License code: WUMBPOWTLJJPNZ0F

This episode of Vagina Whispering is a candid, wide-ranging conversation about life, relationships, and the process of becoming more honest with yourself over time. We move between humor and reflection as we talk about aging, communication, anger, intimacy, and the everyday moments that shape how we feel about ourselves and our lives. This isn’t a structured or polished discussion—it’s real, honest, and evolving. Instagram: @VaginaWhispering Email Jen and Noelle at [email protected] Website: www.VaginaWhispering.com Disclaimer: While Noelle Deane is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in the state of California, she does not provide any psychotherapy or other licensed health care services as the host. Any action you take based on the information contained herein is strictly at your own risk. Please refer to the Podcast disclaimer in the show notes for further information.   Music from #Uppbeat https://uppbeat.io/t/corals/blossom License code: WUMBPOWTLJJPNZ0F