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Carrie is back! Between the two of us, we have 54 years of recovery—and a lot to say about AA old-timers. What even makes someone an old-timer, and why does time sober so often translate into authority? We talk about the hierarchy around sober time, “AA math,” sponsorship and service, the difference between longevity and expertise, predatory old-timers, and the recovery beliefs we once accepted and passed on ourselves. We also get into what happens when you stop treating sober time as a measure of wisdom, healing, or how much someone else should listen to you. Carrie's Substack Timestamps: 00:00 What AA Old Timers Get Wrong Intro 04:24 Good People In AA 07:53 54 Years of Recovery 14:48 Sober As Long As You Drank 16:23 Counting Recovery Time 22:22 Quitting w/o Centering It 25:19 Sponsors Who Shame You 30:16 What is an AA Old Timer? 42:31 AA Gurus and AA Hierarchy 46:50 AA Sober Time vs. Addiction Expertise 56:15 Bill W Says Recovery Requires Religion 56:51 When Old Timers Hit On You 1:01:54 What Half a Century of Recovery Means 1:08:58 Getting an AA Old Timer to Leave AA 1:22:14 Saying "AA is BS" Out Loud 1:33:10 Old Timer One Liners 1:35:49 Sobriety Chips and AA Tattoos 1:46:31 Good AA Old Timers 🔥 Free Deprogram Course + leaving AA resources → here 🧠 Brain optimization tools → here ❤️‍🔥 If you’re ready to stop holding yourself back → here Come vibe with me: Kirsten's Facebook Kirsten's Instagram Kirsten's TikTok 📱 My content creation setup (camera, mic, lighting, etc.) → here 💻 Tools + software I use to run my business and create online → here ⚠️ Disclaimer: I’m not a therapist, doctor, or licensed healthcare provider. Everything shared is for educational purposes only and not a substitute for professional care. 💖 Some links may be affiliate links. I only share what I genuinely use and love.

Today I join Victor from Quackaholics Anonymous for a wide-ranging conversation about Alcoholics Anonymous, indoctrination, and what happens when recovery becomes an identity. We talk about why people are drawn into AA, love bombing and belonging, shame and the “alcoholic” identity, neurodivergence and mental health being mislabeled as alcoholism, the religious and cult dynamics of the program, predatory behavior and accountability, amends, and the difficulty of questioning a system you were taught you needed to survive. We also explore what it means to deprogram, rebuild trust in your own experience, and speak openly about both the help—and the harm—people can experience in AA. 🔥 Free Deprogram Course + leaving AA resources → here 🧠 Brain optimization tools → here ❤️‍🔥 If you’re ready to stop holding yourself back → here Come vibe with me: Kirsten's Facebook Kirsten's Instagram Kirsten's TikTok 📱 My content creation setup (camera, mic, lighting, etc.) → here 💻 Tools + software I use to run my business and create online → here ⚠️ Disclaimer: I’m not a therapist, doctor, or licensed healthcare provider. Everything shared is for educational purposes only and not a substitute for professional care. 💖 Some links may be affiliate links. I only share what I genuinely use and love.

Why are conversations about leaving AA suddenly going viral? People who have left are speaking openly about deprogramming, shunning, fear, loss—and the relief of realizing they’re not alone. Meanwhile, AA defenders are flooding the comments with personal attacks and “conspiracy theories” about dissenters. Is a cultural shift happening? Timestamps: 00:00 Leaving AA Going Viral Intro 00:48 Facebook comment section 02:36 1 - Feeling Validated 13:55 2 - Leaving is Frightening 18:20 3 - Years of Deprogramming 22:20 4 - AA Made Recovery Harder 26:11 5 - Someone in AA Died 30:49 6 - We Are All Powerful 31:57 AA Members Make Deprogramming Viral 35:55 AA Troll Conspiracy Theory # 1 38:10 AA Troll Conspiracy Theory # 2 41:48 AA Troll Conspiracy Theory # 3 43:05 Hyper Agressive AA Trolls 43:55 Does The Algorithm Spark Hostility? 45:48 Dissenting For The Clicks? 🔥 Free Deprogram Course + leaving AA resources → here 🧠 Brain optimization tools → here ❤️‍🔥 If you’re ready to stop holding yourself back → here Come vibe with me: Kirsten's Facebook Kirsten's Instagram Kirsten's TikTok 📱 My content creation setup (camera, mic, lighting, etc.) → here 💻 Tools + software I use to run my business and create online → here ⚠️ Disclaimer: I’m not a therapist, doctor, or licensed healthcare provider. Everything shared is for educational purposes only and not a substitute for professional care. 💖 Some links may be affiliate links. I only share what I genuinely use and love.

What happens when a leading addiction expert acknowledges that AA is a cult, says that’s precisely why it works, and then dismisses criticism of 12-step programs as “bashing”? In this episode, I examine the dangerous blind spot around AA in the addiction field, how the language of “AA bashing” turns people raising concerns into the aggressors, and why openly discussing risks and harms is essential for harm reduction and informed consent. Timestamps: 00:00 Intro experts dangerous AA blind spot 01:47 Critiquing a cult is "bashing?" 03:10 AA works because it's a cult 07:02 Calling criticism "bashing" 11:05 Anti-harm reduction centering 14:31 Applying the same logic to cults 19:10 Recovery narrative needs updating Sources: Why 12-step programs work for addictions | Peter Attia and Anna Lembke Understanding & Treating Addiction | Dr. Anna Lembke 🔥 Free Deprogram Course + leaving AA resources → here 🧠 Brain optimization tools → here ❤️‍🔥 If you’re ready to stop holding yourself back → here Come vibe with me: Kirsten's Facebook Kirsten's Instagram Kirsten's TikTok 📱 My content creation setup (camera, mic, lighting, etc.) → here 💻 Tools + software I use to run my business and create online → here ⚠️ Disclaimer: I’m not a therapist, doctor, or licensed healthcare provider. Everything shared is for educational purposes only and not a substitute for professional care. 💖 Some links may be affiliate links. I only share what I genuinely use and love.

I read an interesting piece of AA history this week and thought I'd share it with you to see what you think. The book is Not-God: A History of Alcoholics Anonymous book by historian Ernest Kurtz. 🔥 Free Deprogram Course + leaving AA resources → here 🧠 Brain optimization tools → here ❤️‍🔥 If you’re ready to stop holding yourself back → here Come vibe with me: Kirsten's Facebook Kirsten's Instagram Kirsten's TikTok 📱 My content creation setup (camera, mic, lighting, etc.) → here 💻 Tools + software I use to run my business and create online → here ⚠️ Disclaimer: I’m not a therapist, doctor, or licensed healthcare provider. Everything shared is for educational purposes only and not a substitute for professional care. 💖 Some links may be affiliate links. I only share what I genuinely use and love.

What if the way we’ve been taught to think about addiction and recovery is actually getting in the way of helping people? In this episode, I sit down with harm reduction pioneer DeeDee Stout to talk about autonomy, moderation, abstinence, AA, treatment, and why meeting people where they are can make the difference. Timestamps: 00:00 Change your drinking intro 06:21 S*icide in AA 09:09 Unraveling AA beliefs about recovery 16:36 How AA became the default 20:17 Relapse prevention, harm reduction + abstinence 28:22 Addiction treatment w/o abstinence 36:00 AA: mainstream recovery narrative + policy 46:39 D*ath threats from AA members 53:16 Brad Pitt drinking moderately 58:14 Thinking about drinking again 1:00:00 Bill W was her grand sponsor 1:04:24 Getting support w alcohol addiction + moderation 1:14:15 S*xual trauma, addiction + recovery 1:21:39 Informed consent: addiction recovery + AA 1:41:35 A shift in the recovery world 1:51:14 Books to help change your drinking 1:56:00 Working with Dee-Dee Stout 🔥 Free Deprogram Course + leaving AA resources → here 🧠 Brain optimization tools → here ❤️‍🔥 If you’re ready to stop holding yourself back → here Come vibe with me: Kirsten's Facebook Kirsten's Instagram Kirsten's TikTok 📱 My content creation setup (camera, mic, lighting, etc.) → here 💻 Tools + software I use to run my business and create online → here ⚠️ Disclaimer: I’m not a therapist, doctor, or licensed healthcare provider. Everything shared is for educational purposes only and not a substitute for professional care. 💖 Some links may be affiliate links. I only share what I genuinely use and love.

Today we're unpacking a #CultyComment I got recently. To me, this is the biggest (or one of them!) mindf*cks in AA ideology. Timestamps: 00:00 Biggest Mindf*ck in AA Ideology intro 03:22 1 - Disagreement is used as proof 06:14 2 - Denial isn't a diagnostic criterion 11:05 3 - Doubt as a symptom is a trap 🔥 Free Deprogram Course + leaving AA resources → here 🧠 Brain optimization tools → here ❤️‍🔥 If you’re ready to stop holding yourself back → here Come vibe with me: Kirsten's Facebook Kirsten's Instagram Kirsten's TikTok 📱 My content creation setup (camera, mic, lighting, etc.) → here 💻 Tools + software I use to run my business and create online → here ⚠️ Disclaimer: I’m not a therapist, doctor, or licensed healthcare provider. Everything shared is for educational purposes only and not a substitute for professional care. 💖 Some links may be affiliate links. I only share what I genuinely use and love.

HAMS (Harm Reduction, Abstinence, and Moderation Support) is a peer-led and free-of-charge support and informational group for anyone who wants to change their drinking habits for the better. Kenneth Anderson founded HAMS in 2006 / 2007. There's free downloadable worksheets on the HAMS website, there's a HAMS Facebook group which is also where they announce their Zoom meetings, and there is a HAMS book "How to Change Your Drinking" that details the HAMS principles and information about alcohol in general. Timestamps: 00:00 HAMS intro 01:15 What is harm reduction? 03:24 How to drink less 06:43 Harm reduction + moderation difference 10:15 Why Ken started HAMS 17:15 The "choice" theory of addition 27:06 History of addiction treatment, Prohibition + AA 38:33 Substance use harm reduction 41:49 Mainstream addiction narrative misleading 50:06 How to get started with HAMS 57:19 Treatment history + belladonna 1:04:32 Can you cure alcoholism / addiction? 1:16:08 Harm reduction, moderation or abstinence? 1:18:00 Most surprising things since starting HAMS 🔥 Free Deprogram Course + leaving AA resources → here 🧠 Brain optimization tools → here ❤️‍🔥 If you’re ready to stop holding yourself back → here Come vibe with me: Kirsten's Facebook Kirsten's Instagram Kirsten's TikTok 📱 My content creation setup (camera, mic, lighting, etc.) → here 💻 Tools + software I use to run my business and create online → here ⚠️ Disclaimer: I’m not a therapist, doctor, or licensed healthcare provider. Everything shared is for educational purposes only and not a substitute for professional care. 💖 Some links may be affiliate links. I only share what I genuinely use and love.

Brad Pitt announced today in Esquire magazine that he's drinking again after 7 years sober. This comes after last year when he said on Dax Sheppard's podcast that he went to Alcoholics Anonymous. So today we're talking about how influential people, here specifically Brad Pitt, indeed to contribute to the public narrative on alcohol addiction recovery. 🔥 Free Deprogram Course + leaving AA resources → here 🧠 Brain optimization tools → here ❤️‍🔥 If you’re ready to stop holding yourself back → here Come vibe with me: Kirsten's Facebook Kirsten's Instagram Kirsten's TikTok 📱 My content creation setup (camera, mic, lighting, etc.) → here 💻 Tools + software I use to run my business and create online → here ⚠️ Disclaimer: I’m not a therapist, doctor, or licensed healthcare provider. Everything shared is for educational purposes only and not a substitute for professional care. 💖 Some links may be affiliate links. I only share what I genuinely use and love.

Today we have Tara Grace from Burn The Stigma back on the pod to talk about harm reduction including how Naloxone saved her life. Timestamps: 00:00 Live saving convo intro 00:33 What is harm reduction? 03:10 Harm reduction goal 04:10: Who benefits from harm reduction 08:00 Alcohol harm reduction 12:39 Abstinence violation effect 13:49 Naloxone (Narcan) saves lives 1 7:43 How to respond to an overdose 24:54 Meeting people where they're at 30:14 Harm reduction advice + services 34:47 Harm reduction for loved ones 36:37 Harm reduction stigma 38:28 Harm reduction easier ask than abstinence 🔥 Free Deprogram Course + leaving AA resources → here 🧠 Brain optimization tools → here ❤️‍🔥 If you’re ready to stop holding yourself back → here Come vibe with me: Kirsten's Facebook Kirsten's Instagram Kirsten's TikTok 📱 My content creation setup (camera, mic, lighting, etc.) → here 💻 Tools + software I use to run my business and create online → here ⚠️ Disclaimer: I’m not a therapist, doctor, or licensed healthcare provider. Everything shared is for educational purposes only and not a substitute for professional care. 💖 Some links may be affiliate links. I only share what I genuinely use and love.

Tara Grace from Burn The Stigma and I are diving into AA ideology's doctrine to "look for the similarities, not the differences" - and how this can delay understanding of who or how we are and therefore adequate support, strip us of our individuality, and block us from getting better. Timestamps: 00:00 Similarities not differences intro 01:22 Differences + getting better 03:44 Neurodivergent differences 05:31 Terminal uniqueness 13:25 Being told who you are 16:04 Belonging, connection, acceptance 23:16 The differences are interesting 🔥 Free Deprogram Course + leaving AA resources → here 🧠 Brain optimization tools → here ❤️‍🔥 If you’re ready to stop holding yourself back → here Come vibe with me: Kirsten's Facebook Kirsten's Instagram Kirsten's TikTok 📱 My content creation setup (camera, mic, lighting, etc.) → here 💻 Tools + software I use to run my business and create online → here ⚠️ Disclaimer: I’m not a therapist, doctor, or licensed healthcare provider. Everything shared is for educational purposes only and not a substitute for professional care. 💖 Some links may be affiliate links. I only share what I genuinely use and love.

Today we're exploring the top 5 things I wish I had known when I left AA. Feel free to join the conversation in the YouTube comments if you'd like to share what you wish you'd known when you left. Timestamps: 00:00 Leaving AA Intro 01:11 It's safe to leave AA 06:51 Most people leave AA 09:29 AA is a cult religion 13:08 Deprogramming can set you free 19:02 Speaking about it can transform you 🔥 Free Deprogram Course + leaving AA resources → here 🧠 Brain optimization tools → here ❤️‍🔥 If you’re ready to stop holding yourself back → here Come vibe with me: Kirsten's Facebook Kirsten's Instagram Kirsten's TikTok 📱 My content creation setup (camera, mic, lighting, etc.) → here 💻 Tools + software I use to run my business and create online → here ⚠️ Disclaimer: I’m not a therapist, doctor, or licensed healthcare provider. Everything shared is for educational purposes only and not a substitute for professional care. 💖 Some links may be affiliate links. I only share what I genuinely use and love.

When I got to AA, like in my first week, I heard people saying "we're not a cult but we need the brainwashing" or "I needed brainwashing when I got here." But what does that actually mean? And what are the potential longer term consequences or downside? And what do AA members and deprogrammers think about this now? Timestamps: 00:00 Do AA Members Know It's Brainwashing Intro 0:54 What is Brainwashing? 6:02 Can brainwashing help someone sober from alcohol? 9:05 The Costs of AA Brainwashing 11:25 What Do People Think of AA Brainwashing? 34:27 What Do You Think About Brainwashing? 🔥 Free Deprogram Course + leaving AA resources → here 🧠 Brain optimization tools → here ❤️‍🔥 If you’re ready to stop holding yourself back → here Come vibe with me: Kirsten's Facebook Kirsten's Instagram Kirsten's TikTok 📱 My content creation setup (camera, mic, lighting, etc.) → here 💻 Tools + software I use to run my business and create online → here ⚠️ Disclaimer: I’m not a therapist, doctor, or licensed healthcare provider. Everything shared is for educational purposes only and not a substitute for professional care. 💖 Some links may be affiliate links. I only share what I genuinely use and love.

This week we're diving into AA ideology's claim that selfishness and self centeredness are the root of the "alcoholic's" problem. Timestamps: 00:00 AA Says You’re Selfish Intro 01:08 1. Self Centered In The Extreme 03:29 2. Self-Will Run Riot 05:36 3. Running The Show 07:59 4. You Make Your Problems 16:04 5. Getting Out Of Self As Solution 20:33 Recovery or Anti-Self? 🔥 Free Deprogram Course + leaving AA resources → here 🧠 Brain optimization tools → here ❤️‍🔥 If you’re ready to stop holding yourself back → here Come vibe with me: Kirsten's Facebook Kirsten's Instagram Kirsten's TikTok 📱 My content creation setup (camera, mic, lighting, etc.) → here 💻 Tools + software I use to run my business and create online → here ⚠️ Disclaimer: I’m not a therapist, doctor, or licensed healthcare provider. Everything shared is for educational purposes only and not a substitute for professional care. 💖 Some links may be affiliate links. I only share what I genuinely use and love.

Last week we explored some of the doomsday prophecies in AA's Big Book. This week we're diving deep into death threats that come from AA members directly. I do believe most of these people have good intentions and say that leaving will kill us because they actually believe it. The problem, of course, is that the fear AA instills in us isn't a fact. Leaving AA does not mean we are going to die, even if some do. Leaving AA and "graduating" recovery is something I believe should be celebrated. We finished our addiction recovery journey. This is great news. A huge victory in fact. Or some may decide to always have support. Also great. The point is that we have choice. Recovery is so individual. Timestamps: 00:00 AA Member Death Threats Intro 04:01 AA Member Threatened I'd Die 07:14 The Actual Comment 08:30 1. Leaving is equivalent to drinking again 09:15 2. Leaving means death 11:11 3. There are only two outcomes: stay in AA or die 12:08 4. Your judgment can't be trusted 14:43 5. The AA member knows your future 15:32 6. Your fate is already determined 16:40 7. Fear is an appropriate tool of persuasion 20:03 8. Staying doesn't lead to funerals 24:13 9. Survivorship bias in the funerals 27:01 Believing The Threats Traps Us 🔥 Deprogram Course + leaving AA resources → here 🧠 Brain optimization tools → here ❤️‍🔥 If you’re ready to stop holding yourself back → here Come vibe with me: Kirsten's Facebook Kirsten's Instagram Kirsten's TikTok 📱 My content creation setup (camera, mic, lighting, etc.) → here 💻 Tools + software I use to run my business and create online → here ⚠️ Disclaimer: I’m not a therapist, doctor, or licensed healthcare provider. Everything shared is for educational purposes only and not a substitute for professional care. 💖 Some links may be affiliate links. I only share what I genuinely use and love.