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This week, it’s our most politically-charged and divisive topic yet: Carrot Cake. We’re joined by Alex “Kozibear” Kozina, long time friend of the show and culinary adventurer, to discuss the history and appeal of this vegetable-based confection. If you have any doubt of Kozi’s expertise on the matter, he further demonstrates his familiarity of the matter while making Snake Quake: The Official Cake: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wk8nwCMpAk Intro contains clip from Looney Tunes

It’s another grab bag of odds and ends that we love: lizards, those dogs of the reptile kingdom, tunnels, those underground bridges, and Bubble Bobble, which is sort of about lizards in a tunnel, among other things. Which is your favorite thing? Intro contains clips from Daylight, a David Attenborough nature film, and Bubble Bobble.

Easily one of the top 5 best dark rooms you pay money to sit inside for several hours, movie theaters make for a singular experience, where people flock together to sit in silence and social interaction is generally frowned upon during the proceedings. We’ve seen this form of entertainment undergo some pretty major changes in our lifetimes, in some ways for the worse, but many for the better. Still, as increasingly expensive and sometimes distracting and occasionally tedious as the theater experience may be, we hope it’s still a thing long after we’re dead. Intro contains various clips from old movie theater promos and the 1976 film “Murder By Death”

Roald Dahl’s child-endangering chocolatier is one of the most beloved literary characters, turned into an iconic film character by Gene Wilder. We’ve gotten a Timothée Chalamet prequel that’s better than it should be and a Johnny Depp remake that we don’t need to talk about, but let’s unwrap this weirdo. Sure, he’s immensely problematic, but he also makes some cool candy, and he also happens to be rooted in some real world confectionary history.  Intro contains clips from various films in which Willy Wonka appears.

This episode, we’re joined by our most Santa Claus-like friend, Jared Petty, to discuss the night before Christmas. Like, the actual night, not the poem. We share some of our favorite memories, traditions, weird trivia, and learn a thing or two about the less family friendly ways it’s observed in some other parts of the world. Intro contains clips from Tenacious D & Sum 41’s “Things I Want,” Bad Santa, Norah Jones’ “Caga Tio,” and Home Alone 2: Lost in New York

This week we’re taking a little off the top, and tipping our hat to the age-old ceremony of lowering one’s ears. Or, in laymen’s terms, getting a haircut. We recount some of our proudest coiffures and worst folicular debacles, and lament the challenges of not knowing what to do with the stuff on top of your head as you grow older. It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at [email protected] Intro contains clips from Paddington 2, “Devil’s Haircut” by Beck and “Cut The Mullet” by Wesley Willis.

Almost the weekend! Friday is technically a weekday, but it’s not like the other weekdays: it’s a COOL weekday. We discuss the origins, pop cultural significance, and our own personal feelings about this weekly light at the end of the tunnel. It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at [email protected] Intro contains clips of Ice Cube’s “Friday,” Loverboy’s “Workin’ For The Weekend” and The Aquabats’ “Pizza Day”

Or wait, is it fall? Whichever, it's great, and not just because of Halloween. You know, aside from our vestigial back-to-school anxiety, rapidly approaching seasonal depression, the looming threat of bad weather, and the fact that we have no idea what time of year at any given point anyway because California barely has seasons. In any case, it’s a chance to talk about changing holiday traditions, pagan rituals and our kids’ classmates with stupid names.  It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at [email protected] Intro contains clips from Over The Garden Wall, “November Has Come” by Gorillaz, and The Simpsons.

This week, Max has a surprise grab bag for Brian! Will he think these things rule as much as Max does? We discuss everyone’s favorite flying rodent that isn’t a flying squirrel, gum of the chewing and blowing variety, and the thrill of getting a nice new writing implement.  It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at [email protected] Intro contains clips of actual bats, a Fruit Stripe Gum commercial, and Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas.

This week, Brian prepared a special surprise variety pack grab bag of things that he thinks Max might be a big fan of. Gingerbread Houses, those once-seasonal edible wiccan domiciles that have since become a year-round architectural novelty, Snaggletooth, who is one (or two) of the most iconic cantina aliens from Star Wars, and Stegosaurses. A dinosaur, that probably had feathers but almost definitely didn’t have long flowing hair like a beautiful woman or a show dog. It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at [email protected] Intro contains clips from The Simpsons, Figrin D’an and the Modal Nodes hit song “Mad About Me,” and a toy commercial for The Lost World action figures.

How music looks isn’t as important as how it sounds, but it certainly plays a role. This episode, we talk about our relationship with album covers, which sometimes look like the music they’re promoting, sometimes look like something else entirely, and sometimes don’t look like anything at all. Huge thanks to Patreon backer Thijis Van Sise for suggesting the topic. It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at [email protected] Intro contains clips from This Is Spinal Tap, an interview with Iron Maiden cover artist Derek Riggs and Saturday Night Live.

At one point, using fire to cook stuff outside was part of daily life, but now it’s just a way of microdosing caveman life. Whether you’re using gas, charcoal, or a hot sidewalk, there’s something wonderful about preparing food outdoors, so crack open a cold one and join us as we discuss our favorite recipes, methods, anecdotes, near-disasters, and questionable tips about this great pastime.  It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at [email protected] Intro contains clips from Fenslerfilm’s GI Joe Porkchop Sandwiches PSA, National Lampoon’s Vacation, an Australian tourism commercial hosted by Paul Hogan, and King of the Hill.

This week, we’re delving into a very special sort of generational brain damage that we can specifically blame/thank the Reagan administration for: toy commercials! Growing up the 80s and 90s, children’s programming was practically indistinguishable from advertising, so why shouldn’t we have equal amounts of nostalgia for this particular type of bite-sized marketings? Let’s take a look back at some of the most infamous toy ads, the most famous people who popped up in them, and of course, Judge Reinhold’s Weenie Whistle. This episode’s topic was suggested by Patreon backer Matt Schottroff. Good call! It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at [email protected] Intro contains clips from Mighty Max, WWF, and GI Joe toy commercials, Vin Diesel’s infamous viral Toy Fair video, and The Santa Clause.

This episode, we tried something new and recorded on location from a restaurant in Düsseldorf, Germany. We sampled the local beer and talked about some of our adventures in Deutschland, including regional varieties of gummi candy, museums, kiosks, cities in which you can actually get around on foot, bees, yellow jackets, and other stuff. Apologies for the background noise, this was an experiment! We’ll be back to normal next episode.

This week, we’re tackling a few extremely unrelated things that rule: fire (the element), Keith David (the actor) and bread bag clips (the clips that come on bags of bread.) Why, you ask? Well, it was your idea - specifically, the suggestions of our Patreon members Mikhail Kaban, Krystal Stewart, SuperMecha, Bruce Wayne Brady and Jack Peterman.  It would totally rule if you helped support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, You can also show your support by following us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcast’s Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, we’re always happy to get email from listeners at [email protected] Intro contains clips from a YouTube short about bread bags, The Prodigy’s “Fire (Sunrise Version),” Beavis & Butt-Head, Disney’s Gargoyles and They Live.