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Sam's brother, Alex, died and she shares her experience of the ups and downs of grief since it happened. In conversation, we tackle: The messy middle of grief that nobody really talks about (when the immediate crisis is over, but you're nowhere near okay) Sam's complicated mix of devastation, relief, anger, and guilt after her brother Alex's sudden death What happens when being a caregiver has become part of your identity, and the person at the center of that identity is gone The guilt of feeling relief when someone you love is no longer suffering, and why you don't need to be more devastated to prove you loved them Why people stop asking about your grief, and how much it matters when someone is willing to talk about the person who died Why you don't need to have answers about your grief right now. Sometimes you just have to sit with the fact that everything has changed. WE ARE NOW ON SUBSTACK with bonus episodes, pep talks, episode guides, and so much more! Join us at nuanceneeded.substack.com To learn more about therapy reach out to Therapy for Women Center, therapyforwomencenter.com. We have therapists licensed in 42 states across the country and have offices if you are local to the Philadelphia area. Want to join the conversation? EMAIL- [email protected] or LEAVE US A MESSAGE at 813-444-8683. We'd love to hear what you think!

In this episode Amanda sits down with Kayleigh Summers, to discuss birth trauma, grief, having one child and so much other nuance.  Kayleigh’s story is about grief, acceptance, and discovering that the life she didn’t choose might actually be better than the one she had planned. This realization really surprised her and was fascinating to hear about. Content warning: This episode discusses cardiac arrest, near-death experience, traumatic birth, hysterectomy, and medical trauma. Some highlights from our conversation: How Kayleigh always assumed she’d have two children The process of waking up six days after giving birth to learn she’d had a hysterectomy The initial response of avoiding grief through action: “I couldn’t touch the white hot grief of not being able to have another child... so I was like, yes, no, I’m gonna have another child. Like you’re not gonna stop me” How pursuing surrogacy strained her marriage The slow journey to acceptance The unexpected shift in perspective: “What’s interesting is where I’m at now... it’s shifted majorly in the last year or two... I like our life better than I think I would if we had another kid” On the power of questioning parenthood Perhaps most powerfully, Kayleigh reflects on how trauma forced her to pause: “I would have never paused to say, hey, is another child a good idea for our family and our marriage? That would have never happened... I have had the opportunity to think very deeply about what it means to add a second kid.” This is truly one of my FAVORITE conversations I have had on this podcast. Kayleigh’s story is so unique and filled with nuance and surprisingly a lot of hope. Don’t be scared by the content warning, its such a great episode! You can follow Kayleigh on social media @birthtrauma_mama and online at thebirthtraumamama.com. WE ARE NOW ON SUBSTACK with bonus episodes, pep talks, episode guides, and so much more! Join us at nuanceneeded.substack.com To learn more about therapy reach out to Therapy for Women Center, therapyforwomencenter.com. We have therapists licensed in 42 states across the country and have offices if you are local to the Philadelphia area. Want to join the conversation? EMAIL- [email protected] or LEAVE US A MESSAGE at 813-444-8683. We'd love to hear what you think!

Tired of hearing that “the way things used to be” was somehow better? A lot of what we romanticize as tradition is actually a tiny blip in history—and women have been paying the price for it. In conversation, we tackle: Why the 1950s weren’t the “traditional” family structure we think they were (and how weirdly specific that period actually was) The wild history of dating, including the fact that some of the first women going on public dates were arrested for prostitution How women became the default safety net for everyone from husbands to children to aging parents The uncomfortable question: if your adult children are your retirement plan, what exactly did you do to prepare for your own life? Why “I raised you” is NOT a lifetime debt—and what actual reciprocity between parents and adult children looks like The connection between estrangement, divorce, and the classic “this came out of nowhere” excuse Why community keeps getting asked to pick up the slack for men who simply aren’t showing up at home WE ARE NOW ON SUBSTACK with bonus episodes, pep talks, episode guides, and so much more! Join us at nuanceneeded.substack.com To learn more about therapy reach out to Therapy for Women Center, therapyforwomencenter.com. We have therapists licensed in 42 states across the country and have offices if you are local to the Philadelphia area. Want to join the conversation? EMAIL- [email protected] or LEAVE US A MESSAGE at 813-444-8683. We'd love to hear what you think!

What does accountability look like when the systems meant to provide it don't? In this episode, we're talking about the Cornell fraternity case and the culture around it, including why we keep having the wrong conversation. In conversation, we tackle: Why "but she said she was fine" tells you nothing, and what most women already know about that Sam's accountability video and the comment section that proved her point ("women don't take accountability either!") The problem with teaching consent as a box to check How brotherhood, hazing, and party culture set everyone up to fail Jessica Valenti's call to get rid of frats entirely, and whether Greek life can be reformed at all "Where were their mothers?" (funny how it always comes back to women) What to do with the rage when you can't fix the whole thing WE ARE NOW ON SUBSTACK with bonus episodes, pep talks, episode guides, and so much more! Join us at nuanceneeded.substack.com To learn more about therapy reach out to Therapy for Women Center, therapyforwomencenter.com. We have therapists licensed in 42 states across the country and have offices if you are local to the Philadelphia area. Want to join the conversation? EMAIL- [email protected] or LEAVE US A MESSAGE at 813-444-8683. We'd love to hear what you think!

When did friendship become something we have to optimize? In this episode, Amanda sits down with friendship specialist Blake Blankenbecler to talk about why we’re overthinking our friendships—and how therapy speak, social media, and the pressure to have “perfect” relationships might be getting in the way of actually enjoying them. In conversation, we tackle: Why your friends don’t need to be your therapists (and why that doesn't mean you shouldn't vent) The friendship “test” that tells you to stop reaching out and see who comes looking for you Why “I miss you” is often more vulnerable (and more useful) than a perfectly worded conversation about your unmet needs The five-person “core friendship” idea—and why not every friend needs to know everything about you Why “your friends like you” might be the radical reassurance we actually need The case for bringing back hosting friends, parallel play, dumb jokes, snacks, and being together without turning every interaction into emotional work Blake Blankenbecler is a therapist and friendship specialist. She is the creator of the Friendship Deck and practices at Fig Therapy. Follow her on social media @blakeblankenbecler and find her online at blakeblankenbecler.com.  WE ARE NOW ON SUBSTACK with bonus episodes, pep talks, episode guides, and so much more! Join us at nuanceneeded.substack.com To learn more about therapy reach out to Therapy for Women Center, therapyforwomencenter.com. We have therapists licensed in 43 states across the country and have offices if you are local to the Philadelphia area. Want to join the conversation? EMAIL- [email protected] or LEAVE US A MESSAGE at 813-444-8683. We'd love to hear what you think!

In this episode we're getting into the pressure to be best friends with your sibling, why forcing it backfires, and why it's okay if you just don't like yours. In conversation, we tackle: Why Sam spent her entire childhood wishing her sister ill — and what shifted in 2020 Our advice to parents who want close kids: it has to be their idea, or do something dumb enough that you become the common enemy Why treating "eldest daughter" as your whole personality is a horoscope with better branding "That's cute when you're four. That's not cute when you're a grown adult with a functioning frontal lobe" Why your memory of who was the good sibling and who was the mean one is basically worthless How we've self-helped our way into believing any contention in a relationship is a red flag Regulation is not perpetual calm — it's sitting in the feeling of wanting to throw up while you have the repair conversation WE ARE NOW ON SUBSTACK with bonus episodes, pep talks, episode guides, and so much more! Join us at nuanceneeded.substack.com To learn more about therapy reach out to Therapy for Women Center, therapyforwomencenter.com. We have therapists licensed in 43 states across the country and have offices if you are local to the Philadelphia area. Want to join the conversation? EMAIL- [email protected] or LEAVE US A MESSAGE at 813-444-8683. We'd love to hear what you think!

In this episode, we're tackling the internet phenomenon that's ruining actual discourse: the bean soup theory, aka "what about me-ism." * The viral bean soup recipe that broke the internet—and why people demanding a bean-free bean soup is the perfect metaphor for online discourse right now* How performative advocacy is drowning out actual advocacy * The self-centered arrogance of assuming every piece of content must be caveated for YOUR specific experience* How left-leaning echo chambers have created a "gotcha culture" where pointing out what someone missed becomes performative activism* Why your anxiety is making you think everything is a mortal threat * The difference between actually dangerous content and content you simply disagree with* How we've weaponized words like "accountability" and "responsibility" so much that we can't talk about agency anymore* The radical truth: not everything applies to you, and that's okay* Why distraction is a valid coping skill  If you’d like to support the show one of the best things you can do is leave us a review and share the pod! THANK YOU! We have some incredible BONUS episodes on our SUBSTACK! nuanceneeded.substack.com To learn more about therapy reach out to Therapy for Women Center, therapyforwomencenter.com. We have therapists licensed in 42 states across the country and have offices if you are local to the Philadelphia area. Want to join the conversation? You can email us [email protected] or LEAVE US A MESSAGE at 813-444-8683. We’d love to hear what you think!

What starts as our reaction to a lunchbox dispute turns into a conversation about how much of the world you're allowed to rearrange so you never have to be uncomfortable. In conversation, we tackle: The leaked group chat where a mom asked five other moms to stop packing Oreos because her daughter got jealous and the reply that ended it Why this is a textbook case of weaponized boundaries (she never used the word, but she didn't have to) Sam's distinction between access and imposition  Why "my kid came home upset" is a you problem, and the conversation you're avoiding having with them How the internet convinced parents that knowing about a risk makes them responsible for preventing it Sam on her religious upbringing: nobody ever called her friends' parents to ban coffee Why we both ended the episode deciding we're also the problem WE ARE NOW ON SUBSTACK with bonus episodes, pep talks, episode guides, and so much more! Join us at nuanceneeded.substack.com To learn more about therapy reach out to Therapy for Women Center, therapyforwomencenter.com. We have therapists licensed in 42 states across the country and have offices if you are local to the Philadelphia area. Want to join the conversation? EMAIL- [email protected] or LEAVE US A MESSAGE at 813-444-8683. We'd love to hear what you think!

What if the thing making your life harder isn’t a sign that something is wrong — but proof that you’re actually doing something that matters? We’re talking about our obsession with eliminating friction, why “life hacks” can leave us less capable of handling life, and why the hard part might be the whole point. In conversation, we tackle: Why “friction maxxing” is an oxymoron (and why adding “maxxing” to everything turns even anti-optimization ideas into optimization) The self-help pendulum from hustle culture to “rest more” — and what happens when you’re an ambitious person who actually wants to do more Sam’s realization that the friction was the point while launching her group program Why trying to fast-forward through the hard parts of life means you also fast-forward through the parts that make life meaningful The uncomfortable question behind every goal: What are you willing to sacrifice for this?  Why getting stuck often has less to do with having no options and more to do with not taking the first step If you’d like to support the show one of the best things you can do is leave us a review and share the pod! THANK YOU! We have some incredible BONUS episodes on our SUBSTACK! nuanceneeded.substack.com To learn more about therapy reach out to Therapy for Women Center, therapyforwomencenter.com. We have therapists licensed in 43 states across the country and have offices if you are local to the Philadelphia area.

Are you actually listening to your intuition—or is your anxiety just screaming louder? Amanda and Sam get into the messy reality of telling the difference, especially when trauma, intrusive thoughts, and fear are in the mix. In conversation, we tackle: The problem with treating every intense thought or body sensation like it's a message you need to obey How intrusive thoughts can convince you that a completely random thought says something terrifying about who you are Why your values matter more than the intensity of a feeling when you're trying to figure out what you actually want Sam's controversial realization that she does not want a dog (and why saying it out loud was weirdly freeing) The pressure to make the "right" decision—and why most decisions aren't nearly as permanent or life-altering as social media makes them seem Why trying to predict your entire future is useless, and how committing to the next step instead of the final outcome helped Sam completely rebuild her life If you’d like to support the show one of the best things you can do is leave us a review and share the pod! THANK YOU! We have some incredible BONUS episodes on our SUBSTACK! nuanceneeded.substack.com To learn more about therapy reach out to Therapy for Women Center, therapyforwomencenter.com. We have therapists licensed in 43 states across the country and have offices if you are local to the Philadelphia area.

We're not talking about Ariana Grande's body. We're talking about the environment that's renormalizing the single biggest trigger for an eating disorder and what a public figure does or doesn't owe the rest of us. * Why the total silence from her team might be the loudest part of this whole thing* We banned the pro-ana sites in the 2000s. Now the algorithm just serves it to you and there's nothing to unfollow* Karen Carpenter died at the exact age Ariana is right now* The problem with GLP-1s and eating disorders * The part nobody says out loud: eating disorders are addictive, and being told you look good is part of the high* Where the responsibility of a tour manager, a wardrobe department, a music video set actually starts This episode discusses eating disorders and disordered eating. Please take care of yourself and skip it if you need to. WE ARE NOW ON SUBSTACK with bonus episodes, pep talks, episode guides, and so much more! Join us at nuanceneeded.substack.com To learn more about therapy reach out to Therapy for Women Center, therapyforwomencenter.com. We have therapists licensed in 43 states across the country and have offices if you are local to the Philadelphia area. Want to join the conversation? EMAIL- [email protected] or LEAVE US A MESSAGE at 813-444-8683. We'd love to hear what you think!

This week we get into AI avatars, fake doctors, and why we're all grieving the internet we used to have. In conversation, we tackle: The New York Times expose on AI "doctors" with fake diplomas on the walls of their fake offices — 1,200 of these videos produced a day, at ten bucks each Sam's rule: if you can't find one actual human being willing to sell your product, that's your answer Meta won't stop men from recording women with their smart glasses, but play a Disney song and watch how fast they move How "putting yourself first" turned into an accountability avoidance loop Struggling and suffering are not the same sentence, and we're all using them like they are Why 90s nostalgia content is everywhere right now (we're in the bargaining stage of grief) WE ARE NOW ON SUBSTACK with bonus episodes, pep talks, episode guides, and so much more! Join us at nuanceneeded.substack.com To learn more about therapy reach out to Therapy for Women Center, therapyforwomencenter.com. We have therapists licensed in 42 states across the country and have offices if you are local to the Philadelphia area. Want to join the conversation? EMAIL- [email protected] or LEAVE US A MESSAGE at 813-444-8683. We'd love to hear what you think!

Therapy speak is taking over everything including dating. This week therapist Todd Baratz joins us to talk about how anxiety got rebranded as discernment — and why knowing every term hasn't made a single one of us better at relationships. In conversation, we tackle: * Todd's call on which diagnosis goes viral next now that narcissism has had its run* Why everyone is avoidant, and how you can't tell if you feel safe with someone when you show up guarded by 25,000 memes* The reason insight feels like a solution when it isn't (and why collecting it is the same high as online shopping)* Todd on why everything feels like a scam right now * What Todd actually tells parents who ask him what to say when their kid asks about sex You can follow Todd on Instagram @yourdiagnonsense. Find his work, including his book "How To Love Someone Without Losing Your Mind", online at toddsbaratz.com. WE ARE NOW ON SUBSTACK with bonus episodes, pep talks, episode guides, and so much more! Join us at nuanceneeded.substack.com To learn more about therapy reach out to Therapy for Women Center, therapyforwomencenter.com. We have therapists licensed in 43 states across the country and have offices if you are local to the Philadelphia area. Want to join the conversation? EMAIL- [email protected] or LEAVE US A MESSAGE at 813-444-8683. We'd love to hear what you think!

What if everything you're doing to fix your pain is making it worse? In part two of Amanda's chronic pain story, she gets into the years of massages, dry needling, and stretching that were actively breaking her body — and the diagnosis that finally explained why. In conversation, we discuss: How Amanda's obsession with "fixing" her pain became its own addictive pattern (and why her PT had to stage an intervention about the massages) The hypermobility discovery that explained the swelling joints, the rebound pain, and why loosening up was the worst thing she could do Neuroplastic pain: why your brain can keep producing pain long after the physical cause is gone, and the specific signs that yours might be doing it The moment Amanda realized "this is soreness, not pain" and started talking back to her own nervous system Sam's ER take on why pain is subjective, how the opiate crisis actually started, and why doctors still don't know what to do with pain they can't measure Sam's pyramid: why boundaries feel impossible when you don't know what you're protecting WE ARE NOW ON SUBSTACK with bonus episodes, pep talks, episode guides, and so much more! Join us at nuanceneeded.substack.com To learn more about therapy reach out to Therapy for Women Center, therapyforwomencenter.com. We have therapists licensed in 43 states across the country and have offices if you are local to the Philadelphia area. Want to join the conversation? EMAIL- [email protected] or LEAVE US A MESSAGE at 813-444-8683. We'd love to hear what you think!

"Your body's just preparing for labor." That's what doctors told Amanda while she was in liver failure. In this episode, Amanda finally shares part one of her chronic pain story — and it starts with a pregnancy and birth experience that shows exactly how the medical system fails women. Trigger warning for birth trauma and suicidal thoughts. If you are interested in just the chornic pain part, you can just listen next week to part 2!  In conversation, we discuss:  How Amanda's "worst pain of my life" got dismissed for weeks before an emergency diagnosis of HELLP syndrome and a C-section under general anesthesia The paternity test spiral: what happens when neither parent sees the baby being born Why a social worker kept pressuring Amanda to pump while she was hallucinating on a magnesium drip  The back surgery double standard: why Amanda's sister-in-law got PT, prep, and compassion for the same incision Amanda was told to walk off Sam's rant on "a woman dies and a mother is born" and why she's done telling women to push through pain (spoiler: men aren't) The psychiatrist who said "you might not be a good candidate for breastfeeding" and why that sentence was the best informed consent Amanda ever got The book that Amanda referenced is called "The Way Out" by Alan Gordon. This is part one of two — next week we get into the chronic pain itself and what actually helped. WE ARE NOW ON SUBSTACK with bonus episodes, pep talks, episode guides, and so much more! Join us at nuanceneeded.substack.com To learn more about therapy reach out to Therapy for Women Center, therapyforwomencenter.com. We have therapists licensed in 43 states across the country and have offices if you are local to the Philadelphia area. Want to join the conversation? EMAIL- [email protected] or LEAVE US A MESSAGE at 813-444-8683. We'd love to hear what you think!