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On this throwback episode from Shiny Things with Lisa Mitchell, I have not one, but two dating and relationships experts who happen to be married to each other after meeting on Match.com. Coaches Mark & Michaela Logue have an awesome story about how they met, how they got to where they are now, and how they are helping other people find love and healthy relationships in the digital dating space. They spend a lot of time unpacking the process of preparing yourself before you even post a profile and how to be intentional about owning what you really want from the very beginning.  TEXT ME! Let me know what you think of this episode or what topics you would like to see covered next! Want more Divorce Curious goodness? Sign up for my newsletter https://lisamitchell.biz/divorce-curious Have a comment for me or a topic you want to see covered on the podcast? Email me at [email protected] Connect with me on Instagram at @divorcecurioushelp

From the Archives of Lisa Mitchell's previous podcast: "Shiny Things with Lisa Mitchell": Dating and forming relationships can seem like a complete mystery. But there is a science behind it and by understanding what the science tells us, we can better understand what to expect and more importantly, how to act in a way that moves us closer to our desired outcomes. On this episode Duana C. Welch PhD, author of the book Love Factually and founder of the blog LoveScience breaks down what the science tells us to help us be smarter and more clued in when dating and entering into a relationship.  If you're over 50 and ready to find lasting love without settling, Duana offers free, research-based relationship training at LoveScienceMedia.com. You can also learn about working with her personally and follow her on Facebook and Instagram for more relationship science and advice. You can find Dr. Welch in the following places: Website: https://www.lovesciencemedia.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LoveFactuallyAuthor Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/duana_welch/ TEXT ME! Let me know what you think of this episode or what topics you would like to see covered next! Want more Divorce Curious goodness? Sign up for my newsletter https://lisamitchell.biz/divorce-curious Have a comment for me or a topic you want to see covered on the podcast? Email me at [email protected] Connect with me on Instagram at @divorcecurioushelp

Two excellent communicators. Zero good dates. What is happening out there? In the finale of this series, Lisa and Heather DeSiena bring the energy way up — because we're talking modern dating, and honestly, it's a lot. These are two women who are accomplished, self-aware, genuinely curious about other humans, and somehow still eating dinner alone. If that's relatable to you, pull up a chair. In this episode: The false abundance mindset — why infinite swiping has trained everyone to never actually invest in anyone in front of themThe upgrade trap: why "the next one might be better" is keeping everybody perpetually single and perpetually disappointedWhy nobody asks questions anymore (and why a man who can hold a real conversation in real time is apparently a rare and endangered species)Sharp edges vs. soft energy — how building a career in male-dominated spaces quietly rewires how you show up on a first date"My standards are too high" — said by people whose marriages Lisa and Heather would absolutely not wantA live, unscripted matchmaking pitch that you genuinely need to hear to believeFair warning: this episode gets a little silly toward the end. There is a Divorce Curious dating game show concept floated, referrals are solicited, and Lisa volunteers to personally vet all candidates. We are not joking. Drop your nominations in the comments. This is the final episode of the three-part Heather DeSiena series — if you haven't listened to Parts 1 and 2 yet, go back. They're worth it. And if this whole series has you doing some honest reflecting on your own relationship, grab Lisa's free Evaluate Your Relationship workbook at lisamitchell.biz/podcast. Good questions, zero judgment. Connect with Heather: Instagram: @heatherdesciena LinkedIn: Heather DeSiena TEXT ME! Let me know what you think of this episode or what topics you would like to see covered next! Want more Divorce Curious goodness? Sign up for my newsletter https://lisamitchell.biz/divorce-curious Have a comment for me or a topic you want to see covered on the podcast? Email me at [email protected] Connect with me on Instagram at @divorcecurioushelp

You did everything right. You communicated. You tried. You listened to your gut. And it still ended. This week Lisa and Heather DeSiena get into the part nobody really talks about — what happens when a relationship ends not because of some dramatic blow-up, but because you were brave enough to be honest with yourself. Heather opens up about being engaged twice in her thirties, walking away from a wedding with eight weeks to go, and the particular kind of loneliness that comes when the life you planned just... doesn't happen that way. In this episode: The sunk cost trap — why "we've invested so much time" is the worst reason to stayWhat Heather's corporate negotiation career taught her about walking away from a bad deal (yes, even at the altar)The silent treatment: petty power move or nervous system self-preservation? (Spoiler: Lisa and Heather have both done it, and neither is judging you)Why the people you expect to show up when things fall apart are often the first ones to go quiet"No deal is better than a bad deal" — and why this might be the most important relationship advice nobody gives youThis one gets real. Like, really real. Both Lisa and Heather show up as full humans in this conversation, which is exactly what makes it worth your hour. Part 3 is coming — and we're getting into modern dating, the app fatigue spiral, and a live matchmaking situation that you genuinely do not want to miss. If this episode has you doing some honest reflecting, grab Lisa's free Evaluate Your Relationship workbook at lisamitchell.biz/podcast. No judgment. Just good questions. Connect with Heather:  https://www.heatherdesiena.com https://www.instagram.com/heatherdesiena https://www.linkedin.com/in/heatherdesiena TEXT ME! Let me know what you think of this episode or what topics you would like to see covered next! Want more Divorce Curious goodness? Sign up for my newsletter https://lisamitchell.biz/divorce-curious Have a comment for me or a topic you want to see covered on the podcast? Email me at [email protected] Connect with me on Instagram at @divorcecurioushelp

What if the same skills that close a seven-figure deal could also save you from your next kitchen table meltdown? Spoiler: they absolutely can — and this week's guest is living proof. Lisa sits down with Heather DeSiena — former news anchor, corporate negotiator, keynote speaker, and (plot twist) seminary master's degree holder — to talk about what she calls heart-level negotiation. Turns out, whether you're closing a business deal or trying to have a hard conversation with your partner without it going completely sideways, you're working with the exact same stuff: people, emotions, and the desperate hope that someone in the room stays regulated. In this episode: Why "soft skills" is a terrible term — and why these are actually the most important skills you haveHow to enter a hard conversation with intention instead of just feelings and vibesWhat somatic awareness has to do with your next argument (your body knows before your brain does)The pattern interruption trick that can stop a scripted fight before it even startsWhy the more emotionally aware partner carries extra responsibility — unfair as that isHeather is one of those guests who makes you feel like you should be taking notes, and also like it's completely okay that you've been doing some of this wrong. We've all been doing some of this wrong. This is Part 1 of a 3-part series — and yes, it gets considerably more personal from here. If this episode has you doing a little reflecting on your own relationship, the Evaluate Your Relationship workbook is a great place to start. Grab it at lisamitchell.biz/podcast. Connect with Heather:  https://www.heatherdesiena.com https://www.instagram.com/heatherdesiena https://www.linkedin.com/in/heatherdesiena TEXT ME! Let me know what you think of this episode or what topics you would like to see covered next! Want more Divorce Curious goodness? Sign up for my newsletter https://lisamitchell.biz/divorce-curious Have a comment for me or a topic you want to see covered on the podcast? Email me at [email protected] Connect with me on Instagram at @divorcecurioushelp

If you've ever thought "is this really as good as it gets?," this episode is your answer. Lisa sits down with Melissa Divaris Thompson, LMFT, whose no-judgment social media content has been stopping people mid-scroll and mid-spiral for years. Melissa brings the kind of real, digestible wisdom that makes you feel like she was literally sitting in your living room for your last argument. From the pursuer-withdrawer cycle to why healthy couples do fight, to what actually happens when you outgrow each other — this one hits. In This Episode You'll Hear: "Love isn't luck, it's a skill" — what that actually means and why the apps are working against usThe 3 must-haves / 3 can't-stands exercise — the simplest and most powerful filter for dating clarityThe pursuer-withdrawer cycle explained — why you always seem to marry your opposite and what to do about itYour nervous system is running your relationship — what attachment style has to do with how you fightWhy repair doesn't happen — and the exact reason couples wait too long to fix what's brokenThe slow emotional drift — why "nothing's really wrong" can still be a completely valid reason to be unhappyOutgrowing your partner — is it real, is it fair, and what do you actually do with it?Key Takeaways & Actionable Insights Get clear before you get out there. Before downloading the app or gussying up for the grocery store, ask yourself: what do I actually want? Try the 3 must-haves / 3 can't-stands exercise. Boil your relationship non-negotiables down to just six things. Know your conflict style. Are you the one who needs to talk about it right now (pursuer) or the one who needs to step away until things cool down (withdrawer)?Regulate before you communicate. When you feel the script starting, your body will tell you first — heart racing, voice rising, shoulders up around your ears. That's your cue. Repair is not optional. Sweeping it under the rug doesn't end the fight — it just adds it to the pile you'll trip over next time. Healthy couples argue and repair. Both parts matter.Wanting more is not selfish. Wanting to feel desired, connected, and seen in your relationship is not a character flaw. It's a human need. Stop apologizing for having it.Connect with Melissa Divaris Thompson, LMFT 🌐 Practice: embracingjoy.com (NY, NJ & CT clients) 📚 Courses + Free Downloads: embracingjoyconsulting.com 📸 Instagram: @embracingjoypsychotherapy 🎵 TikTok: @embracingjoynyc ▶️ YouTube: Embracing Joy Connect with Lisa Mitchell 🌐 Website: lisamitchell.biz 📲 Everywhere: @divorcecurioushelp 💡 Download: Grab the Evaluate Your Marriage Workbook at lisamitchell.biz  Loved this episode? Leave a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ review on Apple Podcasts — it helps more people find this community when they need it most. #DivorceСurious #CouplesTherapy #RelationshipAdvice #NervousSystemRegulation #AttachmentStyles #PursuerWithdrawer #MarriageHelp #EmotionallyFocusedTherapy #ShouldIGetDivorced #MidlifeRelationships TEXT ME! Let me know what you think of this episode or what topics you would like to see covered next! Want more Divorce Curious goodness? Sign up for my newsletter https://lisamitchell.biz/divorce-curious Have a comment for me or a topic you want to see covered on the podcast? Email me at [email protected] Connect with me on Instagram at @divorcecurioushelp

What if everything you thought a relationship was supposed to look like was just... a story someone else wrote for you? Lisa sits down with the refreshingly honest Melissa McClure — twice-divorced, bisexual, polyamorous, burlesque performer, serial entrepreneur, and San Diego-based truth-teller — for a conversation that will challenge everything you assumed about love, loyalty, jealousy, and how "family" can look different than you might be used to.  Whether you're divorce-curious, newly single, or just quietly wondering if there's more out there for you — this one's for you. In This Episode You'll Hear: The "light bulb moment" that changed everything — how Melissa found her truth and what she did nextA glossary you didn't know you needed — ENM, polyamory vs. open relationships, kitchen table polyamory, parallel polyamory, metas, and moreThe #1 red flag on dating apps that tells you someone is just cheating (hint: three words)Why polyamory doesn't break marriages — it just reveals the cracks that were already thereWhy intentional "relationship check-ins" might be the most underrated tool in any relationship, monogamous or notLeveling up in midlife — why women in perimenopause are outgrowing their marriages, and what to do with thatKey Takeaways & Actionable Insights Know your terms before you act. If you're considering opening your relationship, do the research first. Melissa recommends books and podcasts specifically on ethical non-monogamy — going in without education is how you end up with five partners and a struggling business.Jealousy is data, not a verdict. Instead of weaponizing jealousy, try using it as a mirror. Ask yourself: what need is going unmet right now? Then use your words.Run from "don't ask, don't tell." If someone on a dating app claims to be in an open relationship but uses this phrase — that's not ethical non-monogamy. That's cheating with extra steps.Set the rules of engagement — then revisit them. Every relationship, no matter the structure, benefits from intentional check-ins. When did you last ask your partner (or yourself): is this still working?Opening a struggling marriage won't save it. A Hail Mary pass into polyamory typically accelerates the breakdown, not the healing. The relationship foundation has to be solid first.Connect with Melissa McClure Instagram: @melissamcclure.co 🎵 TikTok: @meldell Melissa shares openly about perimenopause, divorce, polyamory, and life design Connect with Lisa Mitchell Website: lisamitchell.biz 📲 Everywhere: @divorcecurioushelp 💡 Download The "Evaluate Your Marriage" Workbook: Lisa's self-paced relationship evaluation guide is now live on her website — a great starting point if today's episode gave you things to think about. Loved this episode? Leave a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ review on Apple Podcasts — it helps more divorce-curious people find this community. #DivorceСurious #Polyamory #EthicalNonMonogamy #Perimenopause #Divorce #MidlifeWomen #OpenRelationship #SoloLiving #RelationshipAdvice #LivingYourTruth TEXT ME! Let me know what you think of this episode or what topics you would like to see covered next! Want more Divorce Curious goodness? Sign up for my newsletter https://lisamitchell.biz/divorce-curious Have a comment for me or a topic you want to see covered on the podcast? Email me at [email protected] Connect with me on Instagram at @divorcecurioushelp

In Part 2 of Lisa’s conversation with communication strategist Rachel Randolph, the focus shifts from theory to application. This episode is all about reclaiming your voice — especially when you feel stuck waiting for someone else to change, apologize, or participate. Rachel breaks down a powerful mindset shift: Moving from “I can’t because…”To “In order to…, I will…”The conversation explores: How to stop outsourcing your peace to someone else’s behaviorWhy self-compassion is the first step in real changeHow small, everyday moments reveal your deeper communication patternsThe hidden cost of self-abandonment in relationshipsWhy owning your voice doesn’t make you “difficult” — it makes you self-ledThey also discuss the deeper impact of healing foundational relationship wounds and how that work transforms friendships, romantic relationships, and even professional dynamics. If you’ve been feeling stuck, silenced, or hesitant to speak up — especially in the context of marriage or relationship decisions — this episode offers a grounded, practical framework to help you take your next right step. TEXT ME! Let me know what you think of this episode or what topics you would like to see covered next! Want more Divorce Curious goodness? Sign up for my newsletter https://lisamitchell.biz/divorce-curious Have a comment for me or a topic you want to see covered on the podcast? Email me at [email protected] Connect with me on Instagram at @divorcecurioushelp

There's no lack of triggering topics and conversations happening all around you everyday. And while you can't always control what's coming at you, you can have more control over how you respond to those triggers and how you communicate during those situations.  In part 1 of this conversations of the Divorce Curious Podcast, Lisa talks with communications expert Rachel Randolph, founder of the SPEC method, about how our internal experience impacts the way we communicate.  Rachel shares how her family dynamics during her childhood left an imprint on how she views communications, how she's approached managing through the difficult conversations with family members, and how that has led her to develop an effective framework that she now shares with others to empower them to have more control over their inner dialogue and their external communication.   TEXT ME! Let me know what you think of this episode or what topics you would like to see covered next! Want more Divorce Curious goodness? Sign up for my newsletter https://lisamitchell.biz/divorce-curious Have a comment for me or a topic you want to see covered on the podcast? Email me at [email protected] Connect with me on Instagram at @divorcecurioushelp

In this episode of the Divorce Curious Podcast, host Lisa Mitchell and functional medicine expert Sarah Scott-Weaver MSN, FNP-C, IFMPC, HN-BC dive into some seriously life-changing topics for anyone who is going through changes in their health and relationships. They're chatting about how functional medicine and living in a supportive community can totally transform your health journey, especially if you're dealing with stress and big life changes. Trust me, you don't want to miss this! Takeaways Functional medicine is like a holistic health makeover.Stress hormones can mess with your mojo, but there's hope!Find a hormone-savvy healthcare provider who gets to the root of things.Living intentionally in a community can be your emotional safety net.Women are rethinking life choices during health transitions.Your social life is just as important as your physical health.Community living can be more romantic and supportive than you think.Women are craving spaces that feel safe and share the load, and many are finding that through platonic shared living arrangements About Sarah Scott-Weaver: Sarah Scott-Weaver is a functional medicine nurse practitioner who understands firsthand how deeply life transitions—like divorce—can impact a woman’s body, mind, and sense of self. She works with women in midlife who are ready to stop surviving and start caring for themselves more deeply. Through a holistic, compassionate approach, Sarah helps women support their hormones, thyroid, gut, and mental health while embracing root-cause self-care and building a life that truly feels aligned.   You can connect with Sarah and explore her work through her Linktree at https://linktr.ee/entouragefunctionalmedicine. Inside her free Holistic Health Hub, she shares guides, videos, and educational resources on gut health, thyroid health, hormones, and mental well-being. You’ll also find links to her social media and the option to book a complimentary one-on-one call to discuss your health goals and what working together could look like.   TEXT ME! Let me know what you think of this episode or what topics you would like to see covered next! Want more Divorce Curious goodness? Sign up for my newsletter https://lisamitchell.biz/divorce-curious Have a comment for me or a topic you want to see covered on the podcast? Email me at [email protected] Connect with me on Instagram at @divorcecurioushelp

Perimenopause & Divorce: why everyone should care about this.  It can seem like most of our lives as women, we are being controlled by a mysterious power behind the scenes: our periods!  And we're really not wrong for feeling that way. On this episode of the Divorce Curious podcast, I'm joined by the founder of The Agenda Period, Alyx Coble-Frakes, and she is dropping some seriously fascinating knowledge on us about how our cycles impact every part of our lives, including and especially our relationships.  Did you know that 70% of all divorces are filed by women who are in perimenopause? That's just one of the suprising pieces of data that Alyx shares in this episode as we discuss the impact of perimenopause on relationships and so much more!  Give it a listen, leave me a comment, and share this episode with the women and men in your life.  Connect with Alyx Coble-Frakes  www.theagendaperiod.com  Waitlist: https://the-agenda-period-2023.myflodesk.com/bavawaitlist Bio:    Alyx Coble-Frakes is a femtech founder, speaker, and creator of The Agenda., the cycle-based planning platform helping women reclaim their health, energy, and productivity. She is a regular media guest across local and national television and podcasts, known for making the menstrual cycle relatable, actionable, and empowering — especially during the often-ignored perimenopause transition.   TEXT ME! Let me know what you think of this episode or what topics you would like to see covered next! Want more Divorce Curious goodness? Sign up for my newsletter https://lisamitchell.biz/divorce-curious Have a comment for me or a topic you want to see covered on the podcast? Email me at [email protected] Connect with me on Instagram at @divorcecurioushelp

Unmet needs in a relationship create resentment.  Few times make that as apparent as the holidays as social media illustrates with tens of thousands of women sharing their stories of how they are so often forgotten at Christmas and find themselves met with an empty stocking on Christmas morning.  This, after having poured their heart, soul, money and sometimes sanity, into making the holidays magical for their partner and families.  The empty stocking has come to symbolize a deeper issue that many women are having, the struggle between feeling like they shouldn't have to remind their partners or families to think of them versus the hurt and anger that comes from being continually disappointed.  It doesn't have to be this way. There's another option: communicating your needs and expectations clearly and giving your partner the opportunity to succeed.  In this episode, Lisa shares a framework to help get more of the thoughtfulness and outcomes that you want, and less of the hurt and frustration that you don't want.   TEXT ME! Let me know what you think of this episode or what topics you would like to see covered next! Want more Divorce Curious goodness? Sign up for my newsletter https://lisamitchell.biz/divorce-curious Have a comment for me or a topic you want to see covered on the podcast? Email me at [email protected] Connect with me on Instagram at @divorcecurioushelp

Season 2 of the Divorce Curious is coming hot!  Literally.  We're going to be tackling it all: from the growing discussion around the intersection of perimenopause and divorce and what the experts on this topic have to say, to the latest hot take from Vogue that having a boyfriend is embarrassing now and all of the fiery topics in between.  I'm excited to get to introduce you to all of the incredible people that will be sitting down with me this season to share their wisdom, perspective and stories in hope that you'll feel good about making the next best decision for you on your divorce curious journey.  Have a topic that you're burning to know more about? Drop me a message at [email protected] or slide into my DMs @divorcecurioushelp and let me know!  Takeaways The intersection of perimenopause and the rate of divorce are a hot topic these days (even Oprah is talking about it!) You don't need to apologize for being happily partnered or happily single There is a cultural shift from being proud for being partnered to being proud of being single  Happiness and success are individualized concepts. TEXT ME! Let me know what you think of this episode or what topics you would like to see covered next! Want more Divorce Curious goodness? Sign up for my newsletter https://lisamitchell.biz/divorce-curious Have a comment for me or a topic you want to see covered on the podcast? Email me at [email protected] Connect with me on Instagram at @divorcecurioushelp

In part 2 of this important conversation, Family Law Attorney Portland Schnitzius is back with more practical and actionable advice for anyone who is contemplating their best next step to thoughtfully consider before making any big decisions.  *disclaimer: Portland practices in Indiana so this guidance is through her experience with the family law guidelines in that state. This is not specific legal advice, so please consult with your own attorney for next steps and guidance in your specific situation.  Key Takeaways:  What the differences are between custody types (physical, legal, primary custodial, etc) The nuances of parenting time guidelines and how they vary from state-to-stateThe importance of co-parenting dynamics Alternative methods of approaching divorceHow to choose the right divorce attorney for yourself About Portland:  Portland Schnitzius is an attorney licensed in the State of Indiana since 1993. She has been practicing family law for over a decade in areas such as divorces, paternity cases (contested matters between never married parents), adoptions, child custody/parenting time disputes, co-parenting disputes, guardianships and child support. She is a graduate of Indiana University McKinney school of Law in Indianapolis, Indiana and her office is located in a suburb of Indianapolis – Fishers Indiana. She is an Indiana Supreme Court registered domestic mediator, a Guardian Ad Litem, a Parenting Coordinator serving high conflict co-parents, and is trained in collaborative divorce. She enjoys volunteer work with Kids Voice of Indiana serving as an advocate for children and youth in the family court system. TEXT ME! Let me know what you think of this episode or what topics you would like to see covered next! Want more Divorce Curious goodness? Sign up for my newsletter https://lisamitchell.biz/divorce-curious Have a comment for me or a topic you want to see covered on the podcast? Email me at [email protected] Connect with me on Instagram at @divorcecurioushelp

Few things cause as much stress, anxiety and fear as the process of divorce. Much of that comes from the "not knowing" piece of the process and on this episode of Divorce Curious, my goal is to fill in as many blanks for you as possible about what to expect from the process with the expert guidance of Indiana-based family law attorney, and proud mom of 7, Portland Schnitzius.  This isn't just your standard list of do's and don'ts, but a heartfelt and well intentioned conversation to give you a real taste of what to expect if you're considering getting a divorce and how you can best prepare yourself for what may lie ahead in the process for you.  Key themes in this episode include financial control and recognizing emotional abuse in your marriage.  There was so much great info that came during my conversation with Portland that this will be shared in a Part 1/Part 2 style so make sure you listen to both episodes so you can soak in all of Portland's wisdom. You don't want to miss any of this important conversation, I promise you that!  *disclaimer: Portland practices in Indiana so this guidance is through her experience with the family law guidelines in that state. This is not specific legal advice, so please consult with your own attorney for next steps and guidance in your specific situation.  Key Takeaways:  Divorce can be a complex and emotional journey, you don't want to try to navigate it on your own.Understanding financial control and abuse is crucial for those in toxic relationships.Social media has played a significant role in raising awareness about unhealthy relationships.Many individuals feel empowered to seek divorce after recognizing their situation is not normal.The legal landscape of divorce includes both assets and debts, regardless of whose name they are in.Financial independence is essential for anyone considering divorce.The emotional toll of divorce can be mitigated by gathering information and resources.Women often report wishing they had divorced sooner after the process is complete.The level of conflict in divorces has increased since COVID-19.Therapists and legal professionals are increasingly recognizing patterns of emotional abuse.About Portland:  Portland Schnitzius is an attorney licensed in the State of Indiana since 1993. She has been practicing family law for over a decade in areas such as divorces, paternity cases (contested matters between never married parents), adoptions, child custody/parenting time disputes, co-parenting disputes, guardianships and child support. She is a graduate of Indiana University McKinney school of Law in Indianapolis, Indiana and her office is located in a suburb of Indianapolis – Fishers Indiana. She is an Indiana Supreme Court registered domestic mediator, a Guardian Ad Litem, a Parenting Coordinator serving high conflict co-parents, and is trained in collaborative divorce. She enjoys volunteer work with Kids Voice of Indiana serving as an advocate for children and youth in the family court system.   She was born and raised in Southern California and graduated from Pepperdine University, Malibu. She has been married for 37 years, a mother of 7 young adult children and grandmother of one. TEXT ME! Let me know what you think of this episode or what topics you would like to see covered next! Want more Divorce Curious goodness? Sign up for my newsletter https://lisamitchell.biz/divorce-curious Have a comment for me or a topic you want to see covered on the podcast? Email me at [email protected] Connect with me on Instagram at @divorcecurioushelp