Advertise on podcast: Coparenting Beyond Conflict: High-Conflict Divorce and Custody Strategies

What if co-parenting conflict didn’t have to be a debate about who is right and who is wrong? In this episode of Coparenting Beyond Conflict, Sol sits down with attorney, former judge, and mediator Sam Imperati to explore a different way of approaching conflict: moving from debate to exploration. Sam shares what he learned from decades in litigation, on the bench, and in mediation—including why even the “winner” in a courtroom battle may walk away feeling depleted. He explains how conflict can become a self-perpetuating cycle of suspicion, documentation, and preparing for the next battle, with children caught in the middle. The conversation centers on Sam’s “umbrella question,” a framework for identifying both parents’ needs while keeping their shared interests—and the best interests of their children—as the true north. Sol and Sam also discuss empathy, reasonableness, mediation, the “co-parent echo,” and how humor can sometimes help reset a tense interaction. Links Learn more about Sam Imperati and ICM Resolutions: https://www.icmresolutions.com/ Get the BestInterest Coparenting App: https://bestinterest.app/ Use code BEYOND10 for $10 off BestInterest. Subscribe to our newsletter to hear about new episodes and build community: https://bestinterest.app/subscribe-podcast/ Keywords co-parenting conflict, high conflict co-parenting, conflict resolution, mediation, co-parenting communication, umbrella question, collaborative co-parenting, divorce mediation, family court, co-parenting disputes, parenting conflict, children and divorce, emotional reactivity, empathy, negotiation, conflict management, parallel parenting, BestInterest, Sam Imperati Key Takeaways Co-parenting conflict can become a cycle of suspicion, documentation, and preparing for the next battle.Focusing on the best interests of the children can provide a shared “true north” during difficult disagreements.The umbrella question shifts a conversation from debating positions to exploring both parents’ underlying needs and interests.Empathy and acknowledging the other parent’s perspective don’t require you to abandon your own position.Reasonableness, balance, and credibility can be powerful tools in conflict.A neutral third party can help create space for productive dialogue when direct negotiation has become difficult.Appropriate humor can sometimes reduce tension and help people reset during conflict.The goal isn’t always to win the argument—it’s to find a solution that works for the people involved.Chapter Highlights 00:00 — Welcome & Meet Sam Imperati 01:05 — Where Sam Finds Peace 01:39 — From “Pit Bull” Attorney to Mediator 02:40 — What Sam Learned From the Bench 04:10 — When Winning Doesn’t Feel Like Winning 05:45 — When Co-Parenting Becomes a Case File 06:41 — Finding Your True North 07:46 — What Are We Teaching Our Kids? 08:35 — The Umbrella Question 11:57 — Who Belongs Under the Umbrella? 12:32 — Does Collaboration Make You Look Weak? 15:10 — The Co-Parent Echo 15:52 — Turning the Echo Into Preparation 18:24 — Why Reasonableness Matters 20:30 — Sam’s Unexpected Career in Comedy 22:18 — Humor in the Courtroom 23:55 — Can Humor Help in Conflict? 24:46 — Using Self-Deprecating Humor 25:48 — Lightning Round 28:18 — When Is a Dispute Resolvable? 28:40 — When One Parent Won’t Collaborate 30:03 — The Value of Reality Therapy 32:04 — Finding a Better Way Forward 32:17 — Where to Find Sam What if your co-parent’s toxic messages never even reached you? Thousands of parents are already finding peace with the BestInterest Coparenting App. As a listener, you can too. Claim 40% off an annual subscription here: https://bestinterest.app/beyond

What happens when divorce doesn’t actually end the conflict? For some families, the dynamics that made a relationship difficult continue long after separation—through communication, finances, the court system, parenting disagreements, and the children. In this episode of Coparenting Beyond Conflict, Sol sits down with high-conflict divorce coach Ksenia Muench to explore whether what we commonly call “high conflict divorce” is sometimes better understood as post-separation abuse. Ksenia shares her own experience navigating a high-conflict divorce and explains how she learned to move from emotional reactivity toward clarity, discipline, and strategy. She and Sol discuss why traditional advice to “just get along for the kids” can sometimes make things worse, how parallel parenting and strong boundaries can reduce conflict, and why learning to disengage can be one of the most powerful things a parent can do. The conversation also explores the practical realities of high-conflict family court cases, choosing an attorney, the Gray Rock method, and the ways AI can help parents communicate more neutrally—while also creating new risks when AI simply validates each parent’s version of events. Ultimately, Ksenia and Sol return to a powerful idea: you may not be able to change the other parent, but you can change your relationship to the conflict and reclaim your own power. Links Thrive Again Divorce Coaching: ThriveAgainDivorceCoaching.comHigh Conflict Playbook: https://www.HighConflictPlaybook.comUncoupled and Unfiltered podcastBestInterest — the co-parenting app: ⁠BestInterestGet 10% off BestInterest: Use code Beyond10Subscribe to our newsletter to hear about new episodes and build community: https://bestinterest.app/subscribe-podcast/Keywords high conflict divorce, post-separation abuse, high conflict co-parenting, parallel parenting, Gray Rock method, divorce, high conflict personality, narcissistic abuse, emotional reactivity, co-parenting communication, family court, divorce attorney, parenting plan, boundaries, financial abuse, child alienation, co-parenting apps, AI and co-parenting, BestInterest, divorce recovery, divorce coaching, Ksenia Muench Key Takeaways High-conflict dynamics don’t necessarily end when a divorce is finalized. Conflict can continue through communication, finances, parenting disputes, and the court system.What is commonly called “high conflict divorce” can sometimes involve patterns of post-separation abuse and continued attempts to maintain control.One of the most important shifts is moving from being reactive to being strategic.Parallel parenting can sometimes be more appropriate than trying to force collaboration between parents who have a highly conflictual relationship.The Gray Rock method can help reduce conflict by making your communication neutral, brief, and uninteresting to someone seeking an emotional reaction.Strong boundaries and disciplined communication can help parents avoid unnecessarily escalating conflict.Choosing the right attorney matters, particularly when a divorce involves significant conflict or safety concerns.AI can help parents neutralize emotionally charged messages and think through difficult situations—but it can also reinforce a person’s existing perspective if used uncritically.You don’t have to change the other parent to change your experience of high-conflict co-parenting.Healing from a high-conflict relationship can ultimately become an opportunity for personal growth, greater self-awareness, and a different way of living.Chapter Highlights 00:00 — Welcome & Meet Ksenia Muench 01:11 — Where Ksenia Finds Peace 04:06 — Ksenia’s Journey Through Divorce 06:22 — Would You Still Get Divorced If You Knew How Hard It Would Be? 07:51 — Why Parenting Plans Can Fail Over Time 08:44 — Should Parallel Parenting Come First? 10:28 — How Ksenia’s Background Helped Her Navigate Divorce 12:12 — What Is High-Conflict Divorce, Really? 14:15 — How to Become Less Reactive 15:58 — How Parents Sabotage Themselves in Court 17:26 — When the Mask Starts to Slip 19:28 — Choosing the Right Divorce Attorney 20:53 — How to Choose an Attorney for a High-Conflict Divorce 22:21 — The High Conflict Playbook 23:40 — Why the Conflict May Continue After Divorce 25:32 — Taking Back Your Power 26:46 — The Gray Rock Method 28:41 — What Happens When You Stop Reacting? 30:18 — Can AI Help With High-Conflict Co-Parenting? 32:32 — The Dark Side of AI Validation 34:22 — Using AI to See Another Perspective 36:45 — Is High-Conflict Divorce Really Abuse? 37:05 — What Divorce Changed About Sol 37:35 — From Survival to Awakening 38:40 — Finding Growth After High-Conflict Divorce 39:42 — You’re Not Alone What if your co-parent’s toxic messages never even reached you? Thousands of parents are already finding peace with the BestInterest Coparenting App. As a listener, you can too. Claim 40% off an annual subscription here: https://bestinterest.app/beyond

What happens when you fall in love with someone who already has a family? In this episode, Sol and Louise sit down with stepmom coach and Stepmom Side podcast host Alicia Krasko to explore the realities of blended family life—including the parts nobody prepares you for. Together, they talk about finding your role as a stepparent, navigating exes and in-laws, managing the emotional intensity of custody transitions, and building a strong partnership when conflict from the other household inevitably affects your family. Alicia shares her own journey from feeling overwhelmed and unsure of her place in her stepfamily to finding confidence, setting boundaries, and learning what she could—and couldn’t—control. She explains why connection needs to come before correction, why stepparents don’t need to be best friends with the other parent, and why the strength of the couple relationship is one of the most important foundations of a peaceful blended family. Whether you’re a stepparent, dating someone with children, or trying to understand how blended family dynamics affect your coparenting relationship, this conversation offers an honest look at the challenges—and the possibility of finding peace without needing everything around you to change. Learn more about Alicia Krasko: https://AliciaKrasko.com Listen to the Stepmom Side podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-stepmom-side-podcast/id1698216989 Get the BestInterest Coparenting App: https://bestinterest.app/ Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/NdWMUVAy3aI Subscribe to our newsletter to hear about new episodes and build community: https://bestinterest.app/subscribe-podcast/ Keywords Blended families, stepparenting, stepmom, high-conflict co-parenting, coparenting, stepparent boundaries, family systems, custody transitions, co-parent communication, parenting after divorce, stepmom burnout, in-law boundaries, parental alienation, emotional regulation, blended family dynamics, child wellbeing Highlights Why Alicia prefers “stepmom” over “bonus mom.” The unexpected challenges of entering a family in the middle of its storyWhy stepparents can feel pressure to immediately love, parent, and fit into an established family system.How insecurity can make ordinary blended-family conflicts feel like emergencies.Why the couple relationship is the foundation of a peaceful blended familyHow asking “How can I support you?” can change the way partners navigate conflict.Why custody exchanges can be emotionally intense for both children and adults.How children can seem like different people as they transition between households.Why clear house expectations can actually help children feel more secure.The difference between connection and correction—and why connection should come first.Why stepparents shouldn’t take either affection or rejection from their stepchildren personally.How to set boundaries with grandparents and in-laws who undermine parental authorityWhy you don’t have to be friends with your partner’s ex to have a healthy coparenting relationshipHow comparing your blended family to seemingly perfect families on social media can create shame.Why trying to control everything can lead to stepmom burnout.How to focus on what you can control when the other household is high conflict.The five-day, five-week, five-year question that can help put conflict into perspective. Chapters 00:00 Introduction 01:07 Meet Alicia Krasko 02:06 Why “Stepmom” Instead of “Bonus Mom”? 03:12 The Biggest Surprise About Becoming a Stepmom 05:08 Navigating the Ex and Finding Your Role 08:41 What Changes in a High-Conflict Situation? 09:01 Keeping the Couple Relationship Strong 11:14 How Partners Can Support Each Other 13:41 The Emotional Intensity of Custody Transitions 16:36 How Kids Adapt Between Two Households 18:23 House Rules, Structure, and Boundaries 20:26 When a New Stepparent Changes the Family Dynamic 24:29 BestInterest AI Coparenting App 25:11 Grandparents and In-Law Dynamics 29:24 Setting Boundaries With Extended Family 33:16 Alienation and Grandparents Choosing Sides 36:20 Stepmom Lightning Round 36:41 The Biggest Mistake Stepmoms Make 37:28 What to Do When a Stepchild Pushes Back 38:14 Does a Stepmom Need a Relationship With the Biomom? 40:55 How Stepparent Burnout Happens 41:16 Building Connection With a Stepchild  43:08 Alicia’s Advice for Stepparents in the Thick of It 43:48 Where to Find Alicia Krasko 44:18 Closing What if your co-parent’s toxic messages never even reached you? Thousands of parents are already finding peace with the BestInterest Coparenting App. As a listener, you can too. Claim 40% off an annual subscription here: https://bestinterest.app/beyond

What happens when the conflict between co-parents becomes the center of family life—and the kids get caught in the middle? In this episode, Sol sits down with Hallie Strauss and Kate Alcamo, co-founders of The Co-Parent Collective, to explore how parents can reduce conflict, protect their children’s emotional wellbeing, and build healthier post-divorce family dynamics. Hallie brings the perspective of a psychologist, parenting coordinator, custody evaluator, and mediator who works with families navigating high-conflict dynamics. Kate is a licensed marriage and family therapist and child specialist who helps parents understand divorce from the child’s perspective. Together, they offer complementary insights into everything from parenting coordination and parallel parenting to communication, identity shifts, and the ways children experience parental conflict. They discuss why “spouse mind” can keep parents stuck in old relationship dynamics, why parallel parenting can sometimes be a healthy stepping stone rather than a failure, and how one parent de-escalating can dramatically change the temperature of a co-parenting relationship. They also share practical communication strategies, including BIFF (Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm), writing messages as though a judge—or your child—might read them, and using technology to create boundaries around difficult communication. The conversation also explores AI and co-parenting, the growing role of parenting coordinators, when professional teams can help support families, and The Co-Parent Collective’s Child-Centered Divorce Playbook. Links Watch the full episode on YouTubeLearn more about the Co-Parent Collective: ⁠thecoparentcollective.comFollow the Co-Parent Collective on Instagram: ⁠@TheCoparentCollectiveBestInterest — the co-parenting app: ⁠BestInterestGet 10% off BestInterest: Use code Beyond10Coparenting Beyond Conflict: ⁠CoparentingBeyondConflict.comSubscribe to our newsletter to hear about new episodes and build community: https://bestinterest.app/subscribe-podcast/Keywords co-parenting, high-conflict co-parenting, divorce, parenting coordination, parenting coordinator, parallel parenting, collaborative parenting, child-centered divorce, child specialist, custody evaluation, co-parenting communication, BIFF communication, spouse mind, parent mind, emotional regulation, divorce and children, co-parenting apps, AI and co-parenting, identity shifts after divorce, conflict de-escalation, parenting plans Key Takeaways Kids are affected more by how parents navigate divorce than by divorce itself. Shift from spouse mind to parent mind. Parallel parenting isn’t necessarily a failure. You don’t have to engage in every conflict. De-escalation can start with one parent. Write every message as if someone else will read it. BIFF can help keep communication focused: Regulate before you respond.Children may know more than parents realize. Children have their own divorce timeline.Parenting coordinators can provide structure and help keep professionals out of the conflict.Acceptance can be empowering. When a child shares something alarming, start with validation. Self-regulation and connection are powerful first steps. Chapter Highlights 00:00 — Welcome to Coparenting Beyond Conflict 01:04 — Finding Moments of Peace 02:10 — How Hallie and Kate Found Their Way Into Divorce Work 05:28 — What Does a Parenting Coordinator Do? 07:46 — Building a Professional Team Around High-Conflict Families 08:17 — Managing Triangulation in High-Conflict Cases 10:04 — When Does a Parenting Coordinator Have Binding Authority? 11:15 — How High Conflict Impacts Children 13:04 — Does It Take Two to Tango? 14:37 — The Power of De-Escalation 15:30 — Separating the Court Battle From the Co-Parenting Relationship 17:33 — How Parental Conflict Affects Kids Over Time 18:53 — Parallel Parenting vs. Collaborative Parenting 21:21 — Rebuilding Trust After Divorce 21:37 — The Identity Shifts of Divorce 22:37 — When You’re Afraid Everything Will Be Used Against You 23:49 — How to Communicate Without Escalating Conflict 25:36 — Write It as If Your Child Will Read It 26:27 — AI and the Future of Co-Parenting Communication 28:03 — The Child-Centered Divorce Playbook 30:02 — Lightning Round: The Biggest Co-Parenting Lessons 31:36 — The Three H’s: Hugged, Heard, or Helped? 32:28 — When Co-Parenting With a High-Conflict Ex Gets Easier 33:28 — What You Can Do Today 34:20 — Connect With The Co-Parent Collective What if your co-parent’s toxic messages never even reached you? Thousands of parents are already finding peace with the BestInterest Coparenting App. As a listener, you can too. Claim 40% off an annual subscription here: https://bestinterest.app/beyond

High-conflict co-parenting can leave you feeling like you’re constantly walking on eggshells—every text message, exchange, or court filing has the potential to pull you into another cycle of conflict. In this episode, Sol sits down with Bill Eddy, co-founder of the High Conflict Institute, therapist, family lawyer, mediator, and creator of the internationally recognized BIFF® communication method. Bill shares four decades of practical wisdom on how to communicate without escalating conflict, why trying to “teach the other parent a lesson” almost always backfires, and how parents can protect their children by modeling emotional regulation instead of getting pulled into reactivity. They also explore the promises and pitfalls of AI in co-parenting communication, Bill’s new SLIC framework for setting boundaries that actually work, and why the skills we teach our children today can help break cycles of conflict for generations to come. Whether you’re navigating a difficult co-parent, supporting clients through family conflict, or simply looking for a more peaceful way forward, this conversation is packed with practical tools you can begin using immediately. Learn more about Bill Eddy and the High Conflict Institute: https://highconflictinstitute.com/ Explore Conflict Influencer and the New Ways for Families program: https://conflictinfluencer.com/ Get the BestInterest Coparenting App: https://bestinterest.app/ Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/r_Cktp5OGvk Subscribe to our newsletter to hear about new episodes and build community: https://bestinterest.app/subscribe-podcast/ Keywords Bill Eddy, High Conflict Institute, BIFF method, SLIC, high-conflict co-parenting, difficult co-parent, narcissistic co-parent, parallel parenting, co-parent communication, family court, emotional regulation, boundaries, setting limits, consequences, conflict resolution, AI communication, New Ways for Families, parenting after divorce Key Takeaways The BIFF method (Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm) helps reduce conflict without expecting the other person to change.One of the biggest communication mistakes is trying to teach the other person a lesson.Avoid the “Three A’s” in high-conflict communication: advice, admonishments, and apologies.Writing your own BIFF responses builds the mental habits that make conflict feel less overwhelming.AI can be a useful editing tool, but it shouldn’t replace developing your own communication skills.Children learn conflict patterns from their parents, including emotional regulation and relationship skills.Hostility and unpredictability are especially damaging for children in high-conflict homes.Teaching children flexible thinking, emotional regulation, moderate behavior, and self-reflection helps build lifelong resilience.Setting boundaries without meaningful consequences rarely changes high-conflict behavior.You’re not responsible for managing another person’s emotions—you are responsible for protecting your own peace.Chapter Highlights 00:00 – Introducing Bill Eddy and the BIFF Method 03:25 – How BIFF Was Created 07:13 – Common BIFF Mistakes and the “Three A’s” 09:56 – AI, Communication, and Building Your BIFF Muscle 16:53 – How High Conflict Affects Children 22:41 – Teaching Kids the Four Big Skills for Life 25:21 – Can High-Conflict People Change? 27:20 – Introducing SLIC: Setting Limits & Imposing Consequences 30:14 – Real Co-Parenting Boundary Examples 34:03 – How Family Court Has Changed Over Four Decades 38:05 – The Future of High-Conflict Family Court 40:14 – Where to Learn More About Bill Eddy What if your co-parent’s toxic messages never even reached you? Thousands of parents are already finding peace with the BestInterest Coparenting App. As a listener, you can too. Claim 40% off an annual subscription here: https://bestinterest.app/beyond

What if the legal divorce is over—but the emotional relationship is still running the show? In this episode, Sol sits down with relationship coach, therapist, author, and Save the Marriage podcast host Dr. Lee Baucom to explore why high-conflict dynamics often continue long after a marriage ends. Together, they unpack the hidden emotional systems that keep co-parents stuck in the same painful patterns and explain how lasting change can begin with just one person choosing to respond differently. You’ll learn why reacting to your co-parent often reinforces conflict, how to reclaim your sense of agency even in difficult legal battles, what an “emotional divorce” really means, and why letting go of the need to control your ex can create a healthier future for both you and your children. Whether you’re navigating a high-conflict co-parenting relationship or simply want to build healthier relationships going forward, this conversation offers practical insights and hope. Learn more about Dr. Lee Baucom: http://SaveTheMarriage.com Get the BestInterest Coparenting App: https://bestinterest.app/ Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/PB-SEy2dadY Subscribe to our newsletter to hear about new episodes and build community: https://bestinterest.app/subscribe-podcast/ Keywords High-conflict co-parenting, emotional divorce, family systems, co-parent communication, conflict resolution, emotional regulation, relationship dynamics, divorce recovery, family court, forgiveness, trust, parenting after divorce, personal responsibility, child wellbeing Highlights Why divorce doesn’t end the relationship when you share children.The difference between reacting emotionally and responding from your values.How one parent can change the co-parenting dynamic—even if the other doesn’t.The three things you can actually control in a high-conflict relationship.Why trying to control your ex often keeps conflict alive.Understanding “emotional divorce” and why it matters.How resentment and disconnection fuel ongoing conflict.The difference between forgiveness, trust, apology, and reconciliation.What children need most during and after divorce.Practical ways to reduce regret and parent with integrity.Chapters 00:00 Introduction 01:00 Meet Dr. Lee Baucom 04:45 Why Conflict Continues After Divorce 08:25 Responding vs. Reacting 12:10 Breaking People-Pleasing and Conflict Cycles 13:40 The Three Things You Can Control 15:34 BestInterest AI Co-Parenting App 15:58 Regaining Agency During High-Conflict Divorce 21:00 Family Systems and Emotional Patterns 28:35 Olive Branches, Forgiveness, and Moving Forward 31:00 Rebuilding Trust After Divorce 33:10 Helping Children Through Divorce 37:25 What Emotionally Healthy Co-Parents Do Differently 38:50 What Is an Emotional Divorce? 40:55 Final Advice for Parents Navigating Divorce 42:30 Where to Find Dr. Lee Baucom What if your co-parent’s toxic messages never even reached you? Thousands of parents are already finding peace with the BestInterest Coparenting App. As a listener, you can too. Claim 40% off an annual subscription here: https://bestinterest.app/beyond

Nearly one in four adult children are estranged from at least one parent—a trend that’s becoming increasingly common, yet rarely discussed. In this episode of Coparenting Beyond Conflict, Sol sits down with parenting expert Catherine Hickem, founder of Parenting Adult Children Today and author of It’s Never Too Late to Be a Great Parent. Together they explore why parent-child relationships break down in adulthood, how divorce impacts family relationships across generations, and what parents can do now to build lasting trust with their children. Whether you’re raising young children, navigating a divorce, or supporting an adult child through one, this conversation offers practical guidance for creating stronger family relationships that endure through life’s biggest transitions. Learn more about Catherine Hickem: https://www.parentingadultchildrentoday.com/ Get Catherine's book, It’s Never Too Late to Be a Great Parent: https://www.amazon.com/Its-Never-Late-Great-Parent/dp/197179502X Get the BestInterest Coparenting App: https://bestinterest.app/ Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/H8pqZswdibE Subscribe to our newsletter to hear about new episodes and build community: https://bestinterest.app/subscribe-podcast/ Keywords adult child estrangement, parent-child relationships, parenting adult children, divorce and adult children, family estrangement, co-parenting, high-conflict divorce, grandparents and divorce, family communication, healthy boundaries, unconditional love, relationship repair, emotional safety, parenting after divorce, family healing Key Takeaways Why adult-child estrangement is becoming so commonThe parenting mistakes that unintentionally push adult children awayHow divorce affects relationships across multiple generationsWhat adult children really need from their parents during a divorceHow grandparents can provide support without making conflict worseWhy honesty, curiosity, and respect matter more than taking sidesThe “Four Pillars” of healthy relationships with adult childrenHow unconditional love creates lifelong trustChapter Highlights 00:00 Introduction 01:40 The growing epidemic of parent-child estrangement 04:10 The most common reasons adult children cut off parents 08:20 Catherine’s own divorce and what it taught her about parenting 11:55 What adult children need from their parents during divorce 14:55 How grandparents can best support a child going through divorce 19:20 When your adult child asks you to cut off their ex 25:05 The transition from parenting children to parenting adults 25:30 The Four Pillars of healthy relationships with adult children 31:55 How parents can become a safe harbor instead of a source of judgment 33:40 Where to learn more from Catherine Hickem M5gKdwIx3CKTZIqTibki What if your co-parent’s toxic messages never even reached you? Thousands of parents are already finding peace with the BestInterest Coparenting App. As a listener, you can too. Claim 40% off an annual subscription here: https://bestinterest.app/beyond

What does it mean to be a “legendary” father—especially when you’re navigating divorce, co-parenting, and the daily pressures of work and life? In this episode of Coparenting Beyond Conflict, Sol interviews Larry Hagner, host of the Dad Edge podcast and author of The Pursuit of Legendary Fatherhood. Larry shares practical insights on what children truly need from their fathers: presence, emotional safety, and the willingness to repair after mistakes. Larry explains why great parenting is a learnable skill, how staying together “for the kids” can sometimes do more harm than good, and why children often see us in a far more forgiving light than we see ourselves. He also offers concrete tools for becoming more present with your children, regulating your emotions during conflict, and communicating more effectively with both partners and co-parents. Whether you’re a divorced dad carrying guilt, a parent struggling to stay calm under stress, or anyone who wants to create a more peaceful home, this conversation is full of compassionate and practical guidance. Learn more about Larry Hagner and The Dad Edge: https://thedadedge.com/ Get Larry's book, The Pursuit of Legendary Fatherhood: https://thedadedge.com/legendary-fatherhood-book Get the BestInterest Coparenting App: https://bestinterest.app/ Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/yY2JEqn0ses Subscribe to our newsletter to hear about new episodes and build community: https://bestinterest.app/subscribe-podcast/ Keywords legendary fatherhood, divorced dads, co-parenting, emotional regulation, presence, fatherhood skills, repair, psychological safety, parenting after divorce, conflict resolution, The Experience Cube, effective communication, parenting guilt, emotional safety, Dad Edge Key Takeaways Children often see their parents more compassionately than parents see themselves.Great fatherhood is not innate—it is a skill that can be learned and strengthened.Repair after mistakes is one of the most important ways to build trust with children.Staying together “for the kids” is not always healthiest if the relationship is toxic.Kids spell love as T-I-M-E.Presence can be cultivated by fully engaging your senses in the moment.Conflict improves when you focus on what you want, rather than what you don’t want.Unspoken expectations are a major source of resentment.A peaceful home environment supports both parents and children.The quality of your life depends on the quality of the questions you ask yourself.Chapter Highlights 00:00 – Introducing Larry Hagner and Legendary Fatherhood 01:11 – Why Your Kids See You Better Than You See Yourself 04:47 – Should Parents Stay Together for the Kids? 07:45 – Fatherhood as a Learnable Skill 11:39 – The Power of Repair 13:20 – Work Stress and Being Present with Your Kids 19:19 – Navigating Conflict and Emotional Triggers 21:57 – The Experience Cube Communication Tool 26:41 – Why Speaking Up Matters 27:04 – Creating Psychological Safety for Kids 27:58 – One Message for Parents Feeling Defeated 29:08 – Where to Find Larry Hagner What if your co-parent’s toxic messages never even reached you? Thousands of parents are already finding peace with the BestInterest Coparenting App. As a listener, you can too. Claim 40% off an annual subscription here: https://bestinterest.app/beyond

What if divorce didn’t have to mean years of litigation, mounting legal fees, and a judge deciding your family’s future? In this episode of Coparenting Beyond Conflict, Sol speaks with Amanda Singer, a family law mediator and attorney who has spent more than 13 years helping couples resolve divorce and custody issues outside of court. Amanda explains how mediation offers families a more collaborative and cost-effective path through separation. Rather than battling through attorneys, couples work with a neutral professional to create agreements around parenting plans, support, and property division while staying in control of the outcome. They discuss what makes mediation successful, how therapists can improve outcomes, how to handle high-conflict personalities, and why parenting agreements should include a framework for future changes. Amanda also shares insights into premarital mediation and how prenuptial agreements can strengthen relationships before marriage. Whether you’re facing divorce, navigating a challenging co-parenting relationship, or planning a future marriage, this conversation offers practical tools for reducing conflict and making thoughtful decisions. Learn more about Amanda Singer and West Coast Family Mediation: https://westcoastfamilymediation.com/ Get the BestInterest Coparenting App: https://bestinterest.app/ Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/YY1hp4ocAYs Subscribe to our newsletter to hear about new episodes and build community: https://bestinterest.app/subscribe-podcast/ Keywords family mediation, divorce mediation, co-parenting, parenting plans, family law, child custody, high-conflict divorce, conflict resolution, alternative dispute resolution, prenup, premarital mediation, child support, spousal support, blended families, bonus parents, divorce without court, custody agreements, emotional regulation, therapy and divorce, California mediation Takeaways Conflict is normal, but how you handle it determines whether your family can move forward.Mediation allows parents to stay in control instead of leaving decisions to a judge.Couples do not need to agree on everything to benefit from mediation; they only need a shared commitment to work things out.Therapy can help parents regulate emotions and communicate more effectively during mediation.Parenting plans should include a process for revisiting decisions as children grow.Common future issues include screen time, social media, driving, and introducing new partners.Mediators can help balance power when one parent is more dominant or controlling.Blended family mediation can help bonus parents become part of the solution.Premarital mediation gives couples a collaborative way to create prenuptial agreements.Getting support early can prevent conflict from escalating.Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Amanda Singer 02:06 Why Conflict Is Normal 04:17 What Mediation Really Looks Like 07:24 Who Is a Good Fit for Mediation? 09:28 How to Convince a Reluctant Co-Parent 11:06 Returning to Mediation as Children Grow 12:46 What Parenting Plans Often Miss 15:25 Managing Power Imbalances 17:14 Navigating High-Conflict Dynamics 19:00 Blended Families and Bonus Parents 23:03 Why Therapy Helps Mediation 27:39 Premarital Mediation and Prenups 31:58 Lightning Round Insights 35:08 One Final Piece of Advice What if your co-parent’s toxic messages never even reached you? Thousands of parents are already finding peace with the BestInterest Coparenting App. As a listener, you can too. Claim 40% off an annual subscription here: https://bestinterest.app/beyond

A high-conflict custody battle can make even the most devoted parent feel powerless. In this episode, Derek Salyers shares the deeply personal story of fighting for shared parenting after being falsely accused, cut off from his son for months, and pulled into a years-long family court battle. Derek opens up about the mental health toll many fathers silently carry, the realities of parallel parenting, and why he believes the family court system still struggles with bias. He also shares how AI tools like ChatGPT helped him navigate legal documents, parenting plans, communication, and court preparation during one of the hardest periods of his life. This episode contains discussion of suicide and mental health struggles. Please listen with care. Learn more about Derek Salyers and Fathers for Fair Custody: https://fathersforfaircustody.com Get Derek’s book, The Forgotten Fathers on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CBN8M3XB Get the BestInterest Coparenting App: https://bestinterest.app/ Custody Journal (Free Documentation Tool): https://custodyjournal.com Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/rIqoK79LcrU Subscribe to our newsletter to hear about new episodes and build community: https://bestinterest.app/subscribe-podcast/ Keywords high conflict custody battle, fathers rights, shared parenting, false accusations in family court, parallel parenting, fatherhood and divorce, custody battle mental health, AI for family court, right of first refusal, co-parenting communication Takeaways Parallel Parenting Can Protect Peace: In some high-conflict situations, minimizing communication is healthier than forcing collaboration.AI Can Be a Powerful Tool: ChatGPT helped Derek understand legal language, prepare questions, structure communication, and think through parenting plans.Always Fact-Check AI: AI can hallucinate cases and legal information, making verification essential before using anything in court.Right of First Refusal Matters: Parenting plan clauses can significantly impact how much real parenting time each parent receives.Documentation Can Change Outcomes: Photos, videos, receipts, calendars, and journals can become critical evidence in custody disputes.Fathers’ Mental Health Needs Attention: Derek speaks openly about suicidal thoughts, isolation, and the emotional impact of losing contact with a child.You Can’t Control the Other Household: Peace often begins when parents stop trying to control what happens outside their parenting time.Growth Is Still Possible: Even in devastating circumstances, healing, self-reflection, and personal growth can emerge from the experience. Chapters 01:27 – From Divorce to Parallel Parenting 04:22 – How AI Helped Build a Parenting Plan 08:04 – False Allegations & Losing Contact With His Son 13:18 – The Story Behind The Forgotten Fathers 16:48 – Men’s Mental Health During Custody Battles 20:16 – Fighting for Shared Parenting Rights 27:57 – The Risks and Benefits of Using AI in Court 32:19 – The Biggest Lie Fathers Are Told About Custody 37:00 – Letting Go of Control in Co-Parenting 39:55 – Advice for Parents in the Darkest Moments What if your co-parent’s toxic messages never even reached you? Thousands of parents are already finding peace with the BestInterest Coparenting App. As a listener, you can too. Claim 40% off an annual subscription here: https://bestinterest.app/beyond

Divorce is often framed as something you “win” or “lose”—but what if that mindset is exactly what keeps you stuck? In this episode, family law attorney and author Nicole Sodoma shares candid, hard-earned insights from both sides of the courtroom. After decades advising clients—and then going through her own divorce—Nicole reveals what actually matters when you’re navigating high-conflict co-parenting. From why saying “I’m sorry” can be disempowering, to the realities of parallel parenting, to the small communication shifts that can completely change your dynamic, this conversation is grounded, practical, and refreshingly honest. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, stuck in conflict, or unsure how to move forward, this episode offers a clearer path. Learn more about Nicole Sodoma: https://nicolesodoma.com Get the BestInterest Coparenting App: https://bestinterest.app/ Subscribe to our newsletter to hear about new episodes and build community: https://bestinterest.app/subscribe-podcast/ Watch This Episode: https://youtu.be/y_uWkYGxTPI Keywords co-parenting, high conflict divorce, parallel parenting, family court reality, divorce attorney advice, co-parenting boundaries, communication strategies, conscious uncoupling, nesting after divorce, parenting plan challenges Takeaways You Don’t Win in Family Court: Even when you “win” an issue, it rarely feels like victory—and much is outside your control.Stop Saying “I’m Sorry”: Well-meaning language can reinforce a victim mindset and undermine your sense of agency.Parallel Parenting Is a Path, Not a Fix: It can reduce conflict, but it won’t eliminate disagreements—you still need systems for decision-making.Communication Is Everything: The structure, timing, and tone of how you communicate can either escalate conflict or create stability.Pick Your Priorities Early: Knowing what truly matters helps you avoid getting lost in battles driven by principle instead of purpose.You Can’t Change Your Ex: The only leverage you have is how you show up, communicate, and respond.Freedom and Grief Coexist: Emotional ups and downs are normal—and temporary—as you move through separation.Chapters 00:01 – Meet Nicole Sodoma 02:25 – How Divorce Changed Her Perspective 04:07 – Why “I’m Sorry” Can Be Harmful 05:27 – Nesting: When It Doesn’t Work 07:26 – Conscious Uncoupling: Reality Check 10:04 – Parallel Parenting Explained 11:57 – Boundaries That Protect You 14:28 – Structuring Communication 17:49 – Handling Disagreements 18:47 – Picking Your Battles 21:21 – The Myth of “Winning” 24:52 – The Most Underrated Skill 26:54 – Final Advice What if your co-parent’s toxic messages never even reached you? Thousands of parents are already finding peace with the BestInterest Coparenting App. As a listener, you can too. Claim 40% off an annual subscription here: https://bestinterest.app/beyond

Are you co-parenting with someone who seems to change the rules, twist reality, and keep you constantly on edge? Divorce is hard enough—but when you’re dealing with manipulation, control, and emotional chaos, it can feel impossible to find your footing. In this episode, Tracy Malone, author and renowned narcissistic abuse recovery coach, breaks down exactly how to protect your peace, support your kids, and reclaim your power in a system that often feels stacked against you. Learn more about Tracy Malone at: https://tracyamalone.com/ and https://narcissistabusesupport.com Get the BestInterest Coparenting App: https://bestinterest.app/ Other Resources Mentioned: Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0345487427  Subscribe to our newsletter to hear about new episodes and build community: https://bestinterest.app/subscribe-podcast/ Watch This Episode: https://youtu.be/1Lm1hG5JQiY Keywords co-parenting with a narcissist, parallel parenting, high conflict divorce, narcissistic abuse recovery, co-parenting communication, parenting plan strategy, gaslighting and DARVO, emotional regulation for parents, supporting kids through divorce, family court strategies Takeaways The Teflon Strategy: How to stop absorbing emotional attacks so they don’t derail your day—or your parenting.Parallel Parenting Reality Check: How to let go of control in the other household while staying grounded and consistent in your own.The Documentation Filter: What actually matters to track (and what will just drain your energy).The BIFF Response Method: How to reply to triggering messages without giving your ex ammunition.The Parenting Plan Power Move: How to build in protections now that save you years of stress (and thousands in legal fees) later.The Emotional Resilience Toolkit for Kids: How to help your children regulate, process, and stay grounded between two very different homes. Chapters 01:22 – The Wake-Up Call: When “Normal” Isn’t Actually Normal 04:31 – Parallel Parenting: Acceptance or Giving Up Control? 07:13 – The Escalation Phase: What to Expect Before (and During) Divorce 09:06 – Documentation Without Losing Your Sanity 10:46 – The Biggest Early Mistake Most Parents Make 11:27 – Post-Divorce Power Struggles: Money & Control 12:43 – Communication Traps: How They Bait You Into Losing Control 15:05 – The BIFF Method: Responding Without Fueling the Fire 16:00 – Regulating Yourself Before You Respond 17:26 – DARVO, Gaslighting & The Mind Games Explained 19:07 – Supporting Kids in Two Opposite Worlds 20:16 – Why Co-Parenting Can Feel Like an 18-Year Sentence 23:39 – The Parenting Plan That Saves You Years of Court 26:55 – Setting Boundaries Around Communication 27:57 – When Your Ex Lies to Your Kids: What Actually Helps 29:34 – Helping Kids Build Emotional Resilience 33:20 – Signs Your Child Needs Extra Support 36:51 – Peace Starts Here: Letting Go of the Fight 37:13 – A Narcissist’s Favorite Tool 37:28 – What the Legal System Gets Wrong 39:45 – One Thing You Can Do Today to Feel More Empowered 43:22 – Where to Find Tracy Malone What if your co-parent’s toxic messages never even reached you? Thousands of parents are already finding peace with the BestInterest Coparenting App. As a listener, you can too. Claim 40% off an annual subscription here: https://bestinterest.app/beyond

Think family court will give you closure, fairness, or emotional justice? Think again. If you’re walking into divorce expecting the system to make things right, you may be setting yourself up for more frustration, confusion, and costly mistakes. Karen Covy—attorney, divorce coach, and founder of Divorce Road Map—pulls back the curtain on what the legal system actually does (and what it doesn’t), and why so many people feel blindsided by the process. This conversation will help you shift from overwhelmed and reactive to clear, strategic, and in control—so you can protect your peace, your kids, and your future. Learn more about Karen Covy at: https://karencovy.com/ Get the BestInterest Coparenting App: https://bestinterest.app/ Subscribe to our newsletter to hear about new episodes and build community: https://bestinterest.app/subscribe-podcast/ Watch This Episode: https://youtu.be/zN6CrfOnZ9k Takeaways The CEO Shift: How to take full ownership of your divorce by building a plan, setting priorities, and leading your own “team” instead of relying solely on a lawyer.The 90% Blindspot: Why the legal system only handles a fraction of what matters—and how to proactively manage the emotional, financial, and parenting realities it ignores.The Process-First Strategy: How choosing your divorce approach (mediation, litigation, collaborative) before hiring a lawyer can dramatically change your outcome.The Board of Directors Model: How to assemble the right mix of professionals (coach, therapist, financial expert, etc.) to save money, reduce stress, and make better decisions.The Boundary Blueprint: How to set and enforce clear, realistic boundaries with a high-conflict ex—without escalating the situation.The Reality Reset: Why expecting fairness or emotional justice from court keeps you stuck—and what mindset actually leads to peace.Chapters 00:00 The Moment Everything Clicks: Why the Legal System Isn’t Enough 03:34 The Bottom-Up Revolution: Why Change Won’t Come from the Courts 05:58 The Costly Mistake Most People Make Before Hiring a Lawyer 06:58 Stuck in Limbo: How to Decide Whether to Divorce or Stay 07:53 The CEO of Your Divorce: Why No One Else Will Run This for You 10:17 The High-Conflict Reality Check: Stop Expecting a Peaceful Divorce 11:31 Your Divorce “Board of Directors”: Who You Actually Need on Your Team 15:20 Why Divorce Feels So Inefficient (and How to Stay Sane Anyway) 15:32 Overwhelm & Paralysis: How to Start When You Don’t Know What to Do 17:20 The Hidden Cost of Avoiding Conflict 19:12 Boundaries 101: Simple, Not Easy—and Why They Matter Now 22:01 When Your Ex Manipulates the Kids: What Actually Helps 27:00 Boundaries with an Ex: What Works (and What Doesn’t) 29:14 Communication That Doesn’t Backfire with High-Conflict Exes 31:01 Parenting Plans That Actually Hold Up in Real Life 34:20 Reducing Conflict Through Structure and Specificity 36:05 Decision Deadlocks: Who Gets the Final Say? 39:11 The Biggest Lie About Family Court 40:00 Peace Starts When You Stop Trying to Win 41:25 The Word Everyone Misunderstands in Divorce 41:56 Why Court Can’t Give You Justice 42:10 Final Advice: How to Get Through This Without Losing Yourself What if your co-parent’s toxic messages never even reached you? Thousands of parents are already finding peace with the BestInterest Coparenting App. As a listener, you can too. Claim 40% off an annual subscription here: https://bestinterest.app/beyond

Are you saying “yes” just to keep the peace—while quietly losing yourself in the process? If you feel trapped between avoiding conflict and honoring your own needs, you’re not alone. Amy Ballantyne, executive coach and host of Power to the People Pleasers, breaks down how people-pleasing patterns show up in co-parenting—and how to start setting boundaries without guilt, escalation, or self-abandonment. Learn more about Amy Ballantyne at: https://www.amyballantyne.com/ Get the BestInterest Coparenting App: https://bestinterest.app/ Other Resources Mentioned: • Celebrate Yourself by Amy Ballantyne • Power to the People Pleasers Podcast Subscribe to our newsletter to hear about new episodes and build community: https://bestinterest.app/subscribe-podcast/ Watch This Episode: https://youtu.be/hV6YuttGURU Keywords people pleasing in relationships, co-parenting boundaries, high conflict co-parenting, setting boundaries with ex, self worth and boundaries, people pleaser recovery, communication skills co-parenting, conflict avoidance psychology, parenting after divorce, emotional intelligence parenting Takeaways The Approval Trap: How early conditioning drives people-pleasing—and shows up in co-parenting communication.The Boundary Reset: Identify your non-negotiables before the conversation so you don’t default to “yes.”The “No Without Drama” Method: Use simple, respectful language (even just “no”) without over-explaining.The Win-Win Lens: Shift from control to collaboration by finding outcomes that work for both parents and kids.The Self-Worth Link: Why stronger boundaries come from self-love—and how to start building it.The Pattern Breaker: What your child learns from your boundaries—and how to model healthier dynamics.Chapters 00:00 The People-Pleasing Trap 01:00 From Helper to Coach 02:00 The Approval Pattern in Co-Parenting 03:00 Where People Pleasing Begins 05:00 The Biggest Myth About People Pleasers 06:30 Why Saying No Feels So Hard 08:30 Boundaries vs. Self-Abandonment 10:00 Big Picture vs. Petty Fights 12:00 When Co-Parenting Feels Impossible 13:30 Setting Boundaries That Stick 15:00 How to Say No Without Escalating 17:00 What Kids Learn From Your Patterns 19:00 Teaching Boundaries to Your Child 22:00 The Link Between Self-Worth and Boundaries 23:30 A Simple Self-Love Practice 24:30 Handling Disrespect Without Losing Yourself 27:00 Lightning Round: Boundaries & Self-Respect 31:00 One Step to Start Changing Today What if your co-parent’s toxic messages never even reached you? Thousands of parents are already finding peace with the BestInterest Coparenting App. As a listener, you can too. Claim 40% off an annual subscription here: https://bestinterest.app/beyond

Why does your ex still live in your head—even after the relationship ends? If you still feel triggered, controlled, or second-guessing yourself, you’re not alone—and you’re not stuck. Dr. Kerry McAvoy, psychologist and host of Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse, explains why toxic dynamics become an internal “echo”—and how to quiet it, reclaim your voice, and parent from a grounded, empowered place. Learn more about Dr. Kerry McAvoy, PhD at: https://kerrymcavoyphd.com/ Get the BestInterest Coparenting App: https://bestinterest.app/ Other Resources Mentioned: • The Empathy Gap: It’s Black and White by Tammy Triolo • Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse Podcast Subscribe to our newsletter to hear about new episodes and build community: https://bestinterest.app/subscribe-podcast/ Watch This Episode: https://youtu.be/iJr0gvv_m-k Keywords co-parenting, trauma recovery, narcissistic abuse, emotional health, boundaries, healing, self-love, family dynamics Takeaways The “Internal Echo” Shift: How to recognize when your inner critic isn’t actually you—and the simple practice to start separating your voice from theirs.The Self-Protection Reframe: Why that hypervigilant voice in your head exists (it’s not weakness)—and how to calm it instead of fighting it.The Authentic Parent Reset: How to stop performing as the “perfect parent” and start showing up as your real, grounded self.The Courtroom Clarity Strategy: Why family court isn’t about proving abuse—and how understanding this reduces fear and reactivity.The Emotional Space Practice: How to support your child through a difficult co-parent without badmouthing—and actually build their resilience.The Conflict Detox Method: How to disengage from toxic communication patterns (without escalating things) and protect your peace.Chapters 00:00 The Hidden Aftermath: Why leaving the relationship doesn’t end the impact 01:00 When the Expert Becomes the Survivor: A psychologist’s personal story 03:30 The “Voice in Your Head” Explained: How toxic partners become internalized 07:30 Survival Mode vs. Empowerment: Why “victim” isn’t the full story 09:30 The Co-Parenting Trap: How fear keeps you stuck even after separation 11:30 The Courtroom Illusion: What family court actually cares about (and what it doesn’t) 13:00 From Reaction to Intention: How to parent from your values instead of fear 16:00 The “Where Are You in the Room?” Exercise (and what it reveals) 19:30 Why “Codependency” might be the wrong frame 22:00 Raising Resilient Kids Through Grief, Loss, and Emotional Truth 26:00 When Your Child Is Hurt by the Other Parent: What actually helps 30:00 The Communication Battlefield: Why toxic co-parents escalate conflict 32:00 How to Stop Feeding the Chaos (and take your power back) 35:00 Lightning Round: Boundaries, self-worth, and reclaiming your life 39:30 The One Question That Starts Your Healing What if your co-parent’s toxic messages never even reached you? Thousands of parents are already finding peace with the BestInterest Coparenting App. As a listener, you can too. Claim 40% off an annual subscription here: https://bestinterest.app/beyond